


Love Again

by wolfmaid



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, Childbirth, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Jon Snow is Not a Targaryen, Miscarriage Mentioned, OOC Arianne Martell, OOC Jorah Mormont, Pregnancy, Sexual Content, Slightly OOC Lyanna Mormont, brief strong language, infertility issues, jorah is not a mormont, slightly OOC Tyrion, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2019-11-17 20:39:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 83
Words: 209,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18106064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfmaid/pseuds/wolfmaid
Summary: After a devastating accident, Jon and Daenerys navigate the ends and outs of learning to love again, and moving on with their lives.***Complete***





	1. Prologue (Dany)

            Daenerys woke feeling like her head was being hammered against an anvil. She tried to sit up, but pain shot through her skull, and a steadying hand was placed on her shoulder urging her to lie back down.

“Easy, love, don’t rush,” A thick northern, and definitively male, voice said from her bedside.

“Where am I?”

“You’re at the hospital, everything is going to be fine,” said the voice, and Dany opened her eyes to focus on the face in front of her, “You hit your head pretty hard in the accident.”

“Accident?”

“You were in a car accident yesterday evening, do you remember?”

“No,” Dany groaned and looked at the man, whom she presumed to be her doctor. He had dark curly hair, and dark grey eyes which were fixed on her with concern and with a tenderness that almost made her uncomfortable. He smoothed hair out of her face, in a strangely familiar way.

“That’s alright, that’s common, you were passed out cold when they pulled you out,” He said as he pulled the blanket up around her and took her hand, “You woke briefly in the emergency room, but you’ve been asleep since, gave me quite a scare.”

Dany looked down at where he held her hand, and studied his unprofessional jeans and t-shirt, and his mussed hair. The dark circles under his eyes made it seem like he had been awake for hours, maybe all night.

“Have you been here all night?” Dany asked, feeling so confused.

“Missy told me to go home, but I couldn’t leave you,” He gave her a gentle smile that confused her even more but hearing the name of her oldest and dearest friend cleared some of the fog in her mind. “Missy was here? Is she still here?” Dany tried to sit up again, but the man eased her back down.

“She’ll be back up in a little while,” He said, “In the meantime, you need to rest, and hopefully we can get you discharged today, or tomorrow.”

“Where’s my brother?” Dany asked, feeling quite proud of herself for remaining calm even though she could not remember her accident and woke up to a stranger.

“Your brother?” The man’s face was bewildered.

“Yes, why isn’t he here?” Dany snapped, wondering if her good-for-nothing brother even cared, but still he was her emergency contact, even if he did not spend the night at the hospital surely, he had at least checked in on her.

“Dany….” The man seemed at a loss for words as he raked his hand through his thick curls.

“Well, look who is awake,” Missy’s voice interrupted the awkward silence that had ensued. Dany could have cried in relief, seeing the face of her sweet friend. Dany glanced back at the strange man and saw him running his hands through his hair looking as anxious as she thought perhaps, she should feel.

“Did the doctors say you could eat real food, or do you have to eat hospital food?” Missy asked her.

“I don’t know know,” Dany looked back at the dark-haired man, certain now that he was not her doctor, but who was he? Why was Missandei not concerned about this random stranger in her room? Why did her mind feel so foggy?

“Missy,” The man put his hand on Missy’s shoulder, “I’m sorry, could you give us a moment?”

“Sure, Jon,” Missy got up and went to leave, looking puzzled. Jon. His name was Jon. Dany felt a knot in her stomach, for some reason she felt should know his name, but she did not.

            Jon sat on her bedside and laced his fingers with hers again, bringing her hand to his lips he kissed it. Dany pulled her hand away but did not miss the look of hurt in his eyes.

“Dany, Viserys… he’s…. he’s,” Jon raked his hand through his hair once more. Dany suddenly felt something akin to panic inside her. “In the accident? Was he in the car with me?”

Jon reached to caress her face, but she smacked his hand away.

“Love?” Jon reached for her hand again, all the confusion that she felt inside her she saw reflected in his face.

“Don’t call me that,” She snapped.

“What do you mean?”

“Missandei!” Dany yelled, she felt her heart starting to pound, “Missandei!” Jon stood and backed away as if she had slapped him.

“Something is wrong,” Jon told Missy as she came rushing back into the room, “I’m going to get the doctor.”

“Nothing is wrong, I’m fine, I just want to go home,” Dany nearly shouted at him.

“Alright, I’ll take you home,” Jon tried to soothe. _Why would he take her home?_

“Why would you take me home?” She snapped, and regretted it, feeling her head pounding even more, “My head hurts, Missy.” Tears started to form in her eyes, she saw Jon make a move toward her, as if to comfort her, but she recoiled from him. _Why was he here?_

“Jon,” Missandei said evenly, giving his outstretched hand a gentle squeeze, “Why don’t you go get the doctor, and we will see what can be done about getting Dany home.”

Jon nodded, looking worn and broken, but Dany could not bring herself to look him in the eye. _Why was he here?_

“I don’t understand what’s going on,” Dany confessed softly once Jon was gone. Missandei soothingly stroked her hand, just as she had after Drogo, after Daario. Daario.

“Where’s Daario?” Dany gasped, just realizing she had forgotten all about her boyfriend.

“Daario?” Missandei’s face took on the same confusion as Jon’s had when she mentioned Viserys.

“Why isn’t he here with me?”

“Dany, you haven’t been with Daario in over 4 years,” Missandei said solemnly.

“What?” Dany nearly shrieked, “That isn’t possible, I saw him… I saw him…” In fact, she could not remember exactly, but she remembered eating dinner with him in what only felt like a week ago. They had fought. She remembered fighting. Missandei placed both of her hands on Dany’s face to get her attention. “Dany, what were you and Jon talking about before I came in?”

“Viserys… he was going to tell me something about Viserys.”

“Viserys?” Missy repeated, in that same unbelieving tone that Dany very quickly was coming to loathe. Missandei took a deep breath and said in a calming voice, “Dany, what is the last thing you remember?”

Dany thought hard, trying to conjure images of the day of the accident, but everything felt so foggy, like she was trying to see a road at midnight with no headlights on.

“I had dinner with Daario a week ago, we fought… we fought about something,” Dany tried, “I went to work, and to school, I think, it was… was an ordinary week.”

“Where do you live?” Missandei asked seriously, but Dany chuckled trying to quell her rising panic.

“I live with you, Missandei, you and Sansa, at 101 Apple Tree road,” Dany felt panic once again gripping her heart. Dany could see Missandei was trying to hide the look in her eyes.

“Missy,” Dany started tentatively, “Who is Jon?” There was a shuffling at the door, Dany looked up, and felt her heart sink as Jon had returned with the doctor just in time to overhear the question.

“I’m your fiancé.”

The room fell silent.


	2. Home? (Dany)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the lovely comments!

They called it retrograde amnesia. Sometimes it happens to people with head injuries, they said, and sometimes it does not. Sometimes the memories come back, they said, but sometimes they do not. Dany looked down at her broken right hand and supposed she should be thankful that she had walked away from her accident with only a head injury, a broken hand, and the typical scrapes and bruises that came with car accidents. They said the wreck had been a four-car pileup on the highway, and her tiny little compact car, a car which she did not remember owning, got caught between two semi-trucks. The doctor had said she was lucky to be alive. As she glanced up at where the doctor was conferring with Missy and Jon, Dany was not sure if she would call it luck.

Dany remained quiet, as she watched Missy, Jon and the doctor talking about something in uneasy whispers right outside her hospital room. Missandei had not left her since yesterday, since the discovery was made that she was missing the memories of nearly four years of her life. Dany was glad for that. Jon seemed a nice enough man, but she knew better than most that "nice" could be deceiving and that her own taste in men had not always been the most reliable. Part of her mind still did not believe he was her fiancé, even though Missandei assured her it was true. They were going to send her home today, though Dany did not know where home was anymore after Missandei also assured her that she did not live at 101 Apple Tree. The thought made her sad, moving into her flat at 101 Apple Tree with Sansa and Missy had been the happiest time of her life. Dany glanced up at the man outside her door with the dark curls and sad eyes, he noticed her staring and gave her a soft smile, but she quickly looked away. Missandei said she had moved in with Jon about a year and a half ago, and that alarmed her. After Drogo, she had vowed to never live with a man again. She had never once considered moving in with Daario, not that they had ever talked about it, at least not that she could remember anyway.

Dany picked at a loose thread on her blanket feigning boredom as the three in the hallway shuffled back inside her room. Jon had brought the blanket from home for her. _“It’s your favorite,”_ he had said and when she did not reply, because she could not remember it, he had added, _“it’s softer than that scratchy hospital blanket.”_ She had accepted the blanket but shoved his hand away when he tried to tuck it around her. He was right, though, it was softer than the hospital blanket. Missy sat down at her bedside.

“You are going home today, Dany,” she said smiling. It was a fake smile meant for her, Dany knew, meant to keep her calm.

“And where is home then?” Dany asked, somewhat caustically. Missy and Jon exchanged a look, as if she could not see they were obviously silently agreeing to continue with whatever conspiracy they had hatched in the hallway.

“I am going to take you home with me, if you are alright with that,” Jon started hesitantly, looking at her as if she were a deer that might bolt, “The doctor says the best way to work toward recovering your memory is to keep you in familiar settings. Obviously, it won’t feel familiar to you, but the doctor is confidant that your memory could come back if we work toward that, and refamiliarize you with the life you were leading before the accident.”

“Are you coming?” Dany asked Missandei, not wanting to look at Jon, but also needing to know if her best friend was going to leave her alone with a man who was basically a stranger to her, whether he had been her fiancé or not.

“I am going to come this afternoon, and help get you settled,” Missandei once again looked at Jon who smiled reassuringly, “The doctor thinks its best that you return to your life as it was before the accident, so I am going to go home tonight. But Jon is going to take good care of you, and if you or he needs anything I can be back in flash, I don’t live too far away from the two of you.”

“And Sansa said she can stop by every day if she needs to so that you can have another familiar face around,” Jon said softly. Dany nodded at him but turned her attention back to Missandei, trying to be brave and not plead with Missandei.

“Missandei,” Dany started, her voice quavering, “After everything…everything with…with….after everything that happened to me before,” She glanced up at Jon and saw his face tighten, and she wondered if he knew what had happened to her before she had met Missandei, “You’re the only one who knows,” She glanced at Jon again, and saw pure agony there.

“Dany, I need you to trust me today more than perhaps you’ve ever trusted me before, okay?” Missandei took her hands, and Dany nodded, “Jon knows and understands everything that happened before…”

“How..?” Dany started but Missandei cut her off.

“He knows because you told him, my friend,” Missandei assured her, “I know its hard to wrap your mind around right now, but I trust Jon with you. Have I ever trusted someone with you before?

“No.”

“Do you trust me?”

Dany nodded.

“We are going to do our best to get you better,” Missandei kissed her cheek and stood, “Shall we then?” Dany watched as Missandei and Jon packed up any of their belongings, and a nurse brought in a wheelchair.

“I can walk,” Dany insisted. She hated feeling like an invalid.

“Its hospital policy, ma’am,” said the nurse.

“I could carry you if you like?” came Jon’s voice with a teasing lilt. Dany shot him the most contemptuous look she could muster, and he retreated with an apologetic grin. Once they got her settled into the wheelchair to take her down to Jon’s car, Jon draped her blanket over her and tried to tuck it around her. Dany pushed his hand away. Anytime he came near her it was like he could not keep his hands to himself. He was always touching her shoulder, her hair, or trying to take her hand, it was maddening.

           

            Jon unlocked the door to their apartment and allowed Dany and Missandei to step through. Dany surveyed the room, it was neat and homey, and comfortable. Some of the things looked familiar, because she knew she had them at the Apple Tree house, but other things were completely foreign. Jon looked fidgety as she made her assessment.

“I guess I’ll give you the tour,” He said, raking his hand through his curls in the nervous gesture which since yesterday she had become accustom too. He took them room by room. The apartment was small, Jon said it was because they were saving to buy a house after they got married. She wondered when it was exactly that they had planned to get married. No one had yet told her the details of her and Jon’s engagement, perhaps they had not wanted to give her more to think about than she could handle but she needed to know. There was a lot she needed to know. As Jon finished the tour, Dany made note that while the apartment had two bedrooms, only one, the master bedroom, had a bed, the other had been set up into an office space. Jon must have noticed her stiffen.

“The couch in the living room has a pullout bed that I am going to sleep on,” he said softly, and almost instinctually reached for her hand again, but this time he stopped himself. Dany nodded, trying to come to terms with this life that they all insisted was hers, but felt completely alien. She once again wondered where Viserys was and it made her angry. If her older brother, Rhaegar, had been alive, he would not have abandoned her to a strange man. For Viserys, though, abandoning her to strange men seemed to have become a habit.

“I’m going to go pick up Ghost from Sam, and grab take-out for dinner,” Jon told them, and Dany was thankful that she would have a moment to acquaint herself with the apartment without him hovering, “Any preferences?” Jon asked.

“Preferences?”

“For dinner?”

Dany shrugged, how was she supposed to know what restaurants were in this town, and which ones they frequented?

“Surprise me,” She quipped almost sarcastically, but it only made him grin, as he nodded and made his escape. She knew she should not be so sharp with him, but she could not seem to bite her tongue.

            Missandei made them hot tea and they curled up on the couch as they waited for Jon to return. Dany covered herself with the blanket that Jon had said was her favorite. She liked how soft and plushy it was, and she liked the way it smelled like pine and soap, it made her feel more secure. She chuckled at the thought of a grown woman needing a security blanket.

“Ghost?” Dany asked.

“Your dog,” Missandei explained, “Well, Jon’s dog in truth, but he loves you just as much.”

“I remember liking dogs,” Dany said, which made Missandei laugh.

“That’s good because he is a lot of dog to love.”

            Dany refrained from asking Missandei any more questions about her missing years, and instead they merely chatted, and Missandei reacquainted Dany with the details of her own life. Missandei had gotten married in the “missing years” to a young man named Grey, and they were apparently expecting their first child.

“I’m not very far a long, but we are very excited,” Missandei confided. Dany knew Missy would be a spectacular mother, a better mother than she felt she could ever be herself.

Jon was not gone long, and when he returned a giant wolf-like Malamute bounded into the living room and deposited his head into Dany’s lap.

“Well, hello there, handsome boy,” Dany laughed and scratched behind his ears.

“Ghost down, your mother is not feeling well,” Jon commanded, and Ghost obeyed but gave Jon a scornful look. Jon noticed what blanket Dany had draped over her and smiled.

“Its alright, Jon, he just missed me is all,” She said, “And I am very much looking forward to getting reacquainted with him,” Reaching toward the big white dog, she patted his head and Jon’s smile brightened.

“Missy, I got soup and sandwiches from that deli a few blocks down, I figured that would be easy on your stomach,” Jon said and began passing out food.

“Yes, thank you, Jon, that is perfect,” Missy said, and Dany felt her heart warm at his thoughtfulness. They chatted nonchalantly, mostly about Jon’s and Missandei’s work. Dany could tell they were trying not to bombard her with more information than she could handle, which was she was both irritated at and grateful for. She had so many questions, but she was tired, so tired.

“This soup was delicious,” She commented as she cleaned up the last bit in her bowl. Jon chuckled, and took her empty bowl from her.

“I should hope so, it’s your favorite.”

Dany nodded not knowing what to say, and Jon’s eyes became so down cast she wished she had not said anything at all. He knew so much about her, but he was a stranger to her. He stood and began to clear away their empty dishes. Missandei and Jon cleaned up while Dany rubbed Ghost’s belly. She could hear Missandei and Jon whispering, probably about her, as if she was to fragile to comprehend what they needed to say. Instead of letting their conspiring irritate her, she walked around the room looking at the pictures on their bookshelf. Some were of her and Jon together. They looked happy. Dany could not remember ever feeling as happy as she looked in these photos. In one photo, Jon had her flung over his shoulder at a beach. They were both laughing. The photos made her sad. She wished she could remember. Ghost nudged her hand, wanting her to pet him again. As she bent to pet him, she came to eye level with a photo of Sansa surrounded by her siblings, and curiously Jon was in the photo. Dany studied the photo and felt something shift in her mind. She suddenly remembered why she and Daario had been fighting.

“You’re Sansa’s cousin,” Dany blurted out, and both Jon and Missandei whipped their heads around to gape at her.

“Dany,” Missandei rushed to her side, “Are you remembering?” Dany sadly shook her head.

“No,” She glanced at Jon and saw his momentary hope shatter, “Its just one of the last things I remember, I remember Daario and I had a fight because Sansa had invited me to go home with her for Christmas vacation, and Daario did not want me to go,” She handed the photo to Missandei to look at, “Sansa told me that her brother, Robb, was coming home for Christmas as well, and she wanted me to meet her cousin… Jon.”

            Jon came over to her then and stroked her arm. He looked at the photo, and when he looked at her, she thought he might cry. He did not cry, but she could tell he was holding back.

“Aye, love, that’s how met,” Jon said softly, “You did end up coming home with Sansa for Christmas, and we both stayed with my Uncle Ned and Aunt Cat, Sansa’s parents, that’s how we became friends.”

Dany felt tears of exhaustion well up in her eyes.

“I wish I could remember,” Dany whispered, feeling vulnerable. Jon let out a weary chuckle.

“Me too,” He kissed her forehead, but she pulled away from him. “I’m so tired,” She whispered.

“I’ll go and let the two of you go to bed,” Missandei said, she gave Dany a long hug. Jon stepped away to give them a moment of privacy, “You have my phone number, you can call me, even if its 3 a.m., and you just need to talk, anything, alright?”

“Alright,” Dany nodded. Missandei kissed her cheek, hugged Jon and disappeared out the door.

            Jon and Dany stared at each other, after the door closed, for what seemed like an eternity to Dany. He looked shy and unsure. She felt confused, and vulnerable. They made quite a pair.

“Thank you for dinner,” she finally said, making the already awkward silence even more awkward.

“Your welcome,” He responded.

“I’m just going to go get ready for bed then,” She said. He nodded.

“I will set up the pull-out couch, I’ll be here if you need anything, even if it’s the middle of the night.”

She nodded and started toward their bedroom. Ghost made to follow her.

“Ghost, to me,” Jon commanded, and the dog stopped.

“Its alright, Jon, he can come…unless you just want him with you.”

“No, no… I just don’t want him to bother you.”

“He’s no bother.”

            Dany slammed the last drawer closed in the bureau, it was small, and it had only three drawers, and all three drawers were Jon’s clothes. If she lived here, where were her clothes? Their little apartment was not very big, and their room did not have a closet. She felt tears of frustration well in her eyes. She just wanted pajamas, so she could go to sleep. Jon had brought her a button-down blouse and jeans to wear home from the hospital, but she had been in them all day, and just wanted something clean and soft to wear to bed.

“Jon?” Dany cracked the door open and called to him, before she could allow her tears to get the better of her. She would not cry over pajamas. He was there before her in a moment.

“Yes?”

“Where are my pajamas?” She asked in a whisper, feeling her cheeks turn red. His cheeks turned red as well.

“Oh, god, Dany, I’m so sorry, I did not even think to show you how we had things stashed around here,” He raked his hand through his curls, making them stand on end.

“Its okay,” Dany said in a small voice, “Can you show me?” He nodded and she followed him out to a closet in the hall.

“Most of your clothes needing hanging, so we gave you the closet and I built some drawers in the bottom for you for your umm.. more delicate things…, and I use the bureau in our room,” Jon opened the closet door and Dany’s eyes immediately fixed on the large garment bag with the name of a bridal store on the front…Her wedding dress. Jon must have seen what she was looking at, so he drew her attention to the drawers at the foot of the closet, and he pulled out some comfy pajamas for her, though she did not miss the way his fingers grazed over the silken nighty next to them.

“Thank you, Jon,” She whispered.

“Goodnight, Dany.”


	3. Walking on Glass (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments! I really appreciate you reading, and your enthusiasm! Here is a glimpse into Jon's POV.

            After Dany closed their door leaving him in the hallway staring at the garment bag in her closet covering her wedding dress, he slumped onto the floor, leaning against the bedroom door. He could hear her moving around, then the light turned out, and he could just barely make out the sound of whispers and sniffles. She was crying and talking to Ghost. It took all the power and self-control he had not to open that door and go to her, it was only the recollection of how she had pulled away from him, or pushed his hand away every time he had tried to touch her that day, that made him get up and go back to the living room. He was a stranger to her. His presence was not comforting, it was disorientating to her. He sat down on the pullout and cursed at himself as he realized he had not thought of his own pajamas. Typically, Jon did not wear pajamas to bed, most of the time he did not wear anything to bed, but he did not imagine Dany would want to wake in the middle of the night to find a naked Jon sprawled over their pullout. He chuckled to himself to keep from crying and ran his hand through his hair. His exhaustion was catching up to him, he had not slept a full night since her accident, but he slept fitfully as he drifted off dreaming of what she had looked like on the gurney when they had brought her into the emergency room. He wondered if that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

 

            Jon woke with a start to a crash from the kitchen, the slamming of a cupboard door, and mumbled curses. Ghost licked him in the face as if to tell him that mom was in trouble in the kitchen. Jon bolted upright, tugged his jeans over his boxer shorts, and stumbled into the kitchen to see Dany cradling a bleeding left hand with her broken right hand, shattered glass was scattered across the floor, two cupboards were open and the faucet was running. Jon started to rush to her.

“Wait!” She shouted, “Your feet!” Jon realized he was about to run across shattered glass to reach her but turned just in time to put his shoes on before he did so.

“Ghost, stay!” Jon commanded the dog, not wanting to have to pick glass out of his dog’s feet either. When he returned to the kitchen, Dany was attempting to clean her bleeding left hand, with her right hand that was restricted by a cast.

“Let me take a look,” Jon reached for her, but she pulled her hand away.

“I can do it, it’s not that bad,” She said, “There’s no glass in it.”

“Dany…” Jon started, but she pursed her lips and gave him her bleeding hand, as if realizing the absurdity of her statement. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her studying him, as he examined the cut in her palm. He wandered what she was thinking but did not dare ask.

“I’m sorry about the glass,” She said suddenly, “I was getting a mug down to make tea, and it fell before I could catch it.”

“Its alright, love, its just a glass, we have plenty more,” He pulled a first aid kit out of another cupboard and retuned to put some antiseptic ointment on her hand, “And you don’t need to explain, those are your glasses, just as much as they are mine.”

“Still, I’m sorry. I should’ve just asked where the mugs were instead of rummaging around the kitchen,” She admitted, “But you were sleeping so soundly.”

“Dany, you have nothing to be sorry for, you can rummage around the kitchen as much as you want.”

Unable to restrain himself, he leaned in and kissed her forehead, but she flinched.

“Sorry,” He said, and continued covering her new cut with a band-aid. He remembered how she had been when he first met her all those years ago and was still trying to gauge how much she had reverted back to old habits, even if she had not reverted back, it still had to be unnerving to have a strange man wanting to kiss and touch her, when she could not remember him, “There almost as good as new,” He smiled at her and released her hand from his grasp.

“Thank you.”

“Why don’t you go sit down, and I’ll get this cleaned up, and start some breakfast for us,” Jon suggested.

“I can clean it up,” Dany snapped back.

“No, its ok…”

“I’m not an invalid, Jon,” she insisted, “start breakfast, and I will clean up the glass.” He nodded.

            As he cooked, he glanced back occasionally to see her struggling with the broom and her broken hand, but she did not ask for help. Twice he had to restrain himself from asking if she wanted him to do it. “ _Don’t make her feel like an invalid,”_ Missandei had warned him, to which he had smugly replied, _“I know that, Missy.”_ Now he found himself just wanting to coddle her and wrap her up in that blanket she loved so much and keep her safe. _“If its something that is not going to hurt her to do, and she insists on doing it, let her,”_ was another of Missandei’s warnings from the day before, and so he bit his tongue. She had finally managed to get all the glass into an organized pile, as Jon was setting breakfast on the table.

“Jon?” Her sweet hesitant voice caused his heart to skip.

“Yes?”

“Can you hold the dust pan, while I sweep the glass into it?” She asked.

“Of course,” He said, perhaps a little too eagerly. After he deposited the glass in the trash, he caught her studying him again.

“Are you going to put on a shirt?” She asked, with a quirk of a smile to her lips. Her bluntness stunned him to silence, but then he laughed. He retrieved his t-shirt still chuckling to himself as they sat down to breakfast. _Perhaps she had not changed much at all?_

“So, you are ex-military, turned child social worker,” Dany stated, repeating the information he had shared over dinner last night.

“Yes.”

“And what made you want to specialize in child social work?” Dany interrogated. He looked up from his plate and caught her eye. As soon as their eyes met, he saw that she knew. She knew and she regretted asking. He became a child social worker, because of her. He could tell his seriousness unnerved her, and she was obviously not ready to cross that bridge, so she changed the subject.

“And what do I do all day? I can’t imagine I stay around the house cooking and cleaning,” She took a drink of the hot tea he made her, and he reveled in the sound of contentment she made when it hit her lips.

“No,” He chuckled, “You are in law school.”

“I knew that somehow,” Dany whispered, frowning. Jon went to reach for her hand but stopped himself, trying to recall all his social work training, but also being painfully aware that the situation was always different when it involved someone you loved.

“Well, I know when we met, you were already looking into going to law school, but some of the things that I read about amnesia at the hospital suggests that sometimes patients retain learned information, because it is stored in a different part of the brain than episodic memory.”

Dany nodded, seeming to retreat within herself again.

Suddenly, Ghost howled, startling both out of the quiet.

“Ghost…” Jon started to scold, but as soon as he opened his mouth there was a loud banging on their front door.

“Jon Eddard Snow! You open this door!” Came a voice from outside. Jon laughed and went to peek out.

“Its Arya and her boyfriend, Gendry,” Jon said with a shake of his head and turned back to Dany but stopped short when he saw Dany standing there staring wide eyed at the door, her lower lip quivering as if she might burst into tears. Jon rushed to her.

“Hey, hey, its okay, I will tell them to go away, I don’t know what she is doing here this early anyway.”

“No, no it’s not that…” Dany whimpered, but they were interrupted by Arya’s boisterous voice.

“I know you are in there, Jon Snow, and you are in big trouble!”

“Let me go explain to her, she will understand.”

“No, no it’s not that. I remember Arya,” Dany insisted, and he felt a pang of jealousy at how Dany seemed to remember everyone but him, “I liked Arya, she came to visit Sansa once before….”

Arya banged on the door again.

“Just one bloody minute Arya!” Jon shouted, and the banging ceased. He turned his full attention back to Dany, trying to encourage her to continue, “What is it, love? You can tell me.” Dany nodded, as a few tears dropped down her cheeks, and then she started to laugh.

“Its stupid.”

“Its not stupid if it makes you cry,” Jon tipped her chin up to meet his eyes.

“It’s just that, you said her boyfriend is with her… I’m not dressed for company, for meeting new people.”

“Arya won’t mind you being in your pajamas.”

“That’s not what I mean,” She laughed again as a few more tears fell down her cheeks, and Jon noticed she had started to blush, “This morning when I was getting dressed…. I couldn’t…. because of the cast…. on my hand…I couldn’t…” Her voice trailed off and Jon was utterly confused.

“You couldn’t what?” He asked as gently as he could.

“My bra, I couldn’t hook my bra, so it’s just loose back there,” She sobbed, both crying and laughing now. Jon’s gaze instinctively dropped to her chest but then he was blushing as he realized what he was staring at. She took a deep, shuddering breath trying to hold back the tears.

“I don’t mind seeing Arya, or meeting Gendry,” She said softly, with another little laugh, but not able to meet his eyes, “But I need to fix it.”

“It would be okay if you wanted to take the thing off,” Jon chuckled, reaching out to wipe a tear off her cheek.

“No, I’d just feel more comfortable if I could just hook it,” Dany said and looked at him. He realized that even though she was smiling about the predicament now, she was not going to verbalize that she needed him to do this for her.

Taking a steadying breathe and trying to keep his voice light, he said, “Turn around then.” Dany turned her back to him, and Jon lifted her shirt just enough, taking extra care not to touch her skin, to properly hook her bra. Jon tried to hide his amusement. Of all the times he had touched the hooks of her bra, he could not remember one of those times ever ending with her still in it. Once he was finished, Dany turned away and kept her back to him, going to stand by the kitchen sink. He knew she needed a moment to wipe her tears and compose herself, so he went to answer the door, and perhaps give Arya a piece of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapters will probably not be added quite so fast as these first three were, but I really appreciate you all reading, and I promise that I will give a more full accounting of Dany's and Jon's backstory soon. I hope to have the next chapter up within the week, and it will feature both Arya and Sansa.


	4. Messy (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments, they have been so encouraging!

Dany could hear Jon scolding Arya in a hushed tone as she wiped the tears from her face. She did not want Arya, or her boyfriend to think they had upset her. She felt so helpless this morning, which made her feel weak and vulnerable in a way that she had not felt in a long time. It had not been about the bra. It really had not been about the broken glass either. She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself, she smiled when she heard Arya whisper to Jon. _"I had to find out from Sansa, Jon! Sansa of all people!"_ _"Don't be so stupid, I'm sorry, Jon, I told her not to come marching over here without calling, but as usual she did not listen,"_ this second voice was one Dany was all too familiar with, and so dear to her. Sansa Stark. _"It's alright, Sans, she's in the kitchen, let me go check if she's ready for visitors, before Arya has the chance to pounce on her."_ Dany smiled and heard his footsteps coming toward her in the kitchen, even so she startled when he came up behind her and placed a gentle hand on the small of her back.

"Are you ready for visitors? If not, I can send them packing," Jon chuckled but she could tell he was serious and would do it if she asked him. "No, I'd like to see them."

Jon nodded, seeming as if he was not sure she was ready, but he did not argue with her.

 

“Dany,” Sansa came to her, tears in her eyes, and wrapped her arms around her. Dany hugged her back and felt more tears prick the back of her eyes. Dany was not sure what was happening to her, she had never been a crier before, and she felt childish for all the tears this morning and that threatened her now. She noticed Jon watching her closely, his concern so palpable that it unnerved her. No one, except for Missandei, had ever looked at her with so much care before, none that she could remember anyway. Once Sansa released her, Dany turned to Arya, who was, obviously, much older than she remembered her being. The Arya she remembered had been a scrappy seventeen-year-old, but this Arya was a grown woman, though she still had that spark of mischief in her eye.

“So, do you remember me?” Arya asked, without ceremony. Dany smiled, this, too, was the Arya she remembered.

“Arya!” Sansa exclaimed, and Jon raked his hand through his hair. After being handled like glass by Jon and Missandei, Dany found Arya’s bluntness somewhat refreshing.

“I remember you came to visit Sansa once, and we all spent the weekend together,” Dany confessed, “After that, though, I’m afraid not.” Arya nodded seeming to weigh her next words.

“Can I hug you?” Arya asked after a deliberative silence. Dany saw Jon’s face break into the most beautiful smile she had ever seen.

“Yes,” Dany softly responded. With a gentleness which Dany could tell surprised Sansa and Jon, Arya hugged her, and there was even a misty sheen to her eyes when she pulled away and turned to the young man by her side.

“This is Gendry, and you don’t have to worry about trying to remember him because you’ve never met him before,” Arya said with a proud smile, and for some reason that comforted Dany. Jon and Sansa laughed, making Arya roll her eyes, “What? I figured that would be relieving.” Gendry shook her hand.

“Its nice to meet you, I wish we could have met under different circumstances but I’m glad you are getting on your feet again,” Gendry said politely.

“Thank you, its nice to meet you too.”

            They all moved to the living room, and Dany snatched up her blanket before sitting in the recliner. She saw Jon give her a funny grin as she smelled the blanket, soaking up the comforting pine soap smell, before putting it across her lap. Jon sat at her feet, like a sentry, allowing Gendry and Arya to snuggle up together on the loveseat and Sansa to sit on his pullout bed. Ghost sat beside him and kept nudging her hand to get her to pet him, which she gladly did. They talked about Gendry and Arya and how they met, and where they worked. They talked about Sansa’s education, and she learned that Sansa was in law school with her. Dany startled when she felt Jon’s fingers softly caressing her ankle, but she looked down just as she was about to jerk her foot away from him and realized he seemed to be doing it without thinking, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to him. Perhaps it was. No one, not Drogo, not Daario, had ever touched her so gently, and suddenly she was overcome with sympathy for him. She knew that he must be going through a different sort of agony then she was, but agony just the same. She carried the confusion of not being able to remember, and he carried the pain of being forgotten. Mustering her courage, she forced herself to not pull away.

            They visited for about an hour, and Arya even managed to wrangle them into a new card game she had learned. But Dany was soon growing weary, as her head started to pound again. Between Arya’s antics, Sansa’s elder sisterly chidings for her to behave, and Gendry’s quiet confidence, Dany had nearly forgotten she had a head injury. Jon was quick to pick up on her fatigue, though, and shot a glance at the ever-observant Sansa.

“Alright, I need to stop by the office on our way home, and mom is going to want us for lunch,” Sansa declared, giving Arya a smack on the shoulder to encourage her to get moving. Arya begrudgingly rose, gently hugged Dany, and then threw her arms around Jon’s neck.

“Are you two coming to the party on Saturday?”

“Um…” Jon raked his hand through his curls, “I don’t know… we, um, we haven’t talked about it…probably, not, I mean, unless….” He stammered not sure what to say. Sansa smacked Arya again.

“Arya, stop putting Jon on the spot, if they want to come they can come, but if they don’t or are not feeling up to it, they don’t have too,” Sansa said, then turned to look at Dany who felt like a deer caught in headlights, “There is no pressure, for either of you.” Dany hugged Sansa goodbye.

“I’m going to go grab my pain meds,” She said to Jon, as he was ushering their guests to their door. When everyone thought she was out of earshot, Dany overheard two whispered sentences between Sansa and Jon. _“Have you decided if you are canceling or just postponing the wedding?”_ whispered Sansa, to which Jon gruffly replied, _“Gods, Sansa, I don’t know… I don’t know what to do.”_ Dany felt anxiety squeeze her heart, as she thought about the garment bag in her closet.

            When she heard the door close, she came back and saw Jon leaning his head against it.

“I’m sorry,” She whispered, lip quivering. Jon’s head shot up. Tears threatened her again.

“Hey,” He came to her and tried to wrap his arms around her, but she shrugged him off, she did not want him to hold her, “What are you talking about, love?”

“I feel like my accident has derailed your entire life, and I don’t know when our wedding is, and I just realized that it is Monday and you must have work and an office to go too, but you’re stuck here taking care of me, and I can’t even remember where the stupid dishes are, or put my clothes on by myself because of my stupid hand,” She rambled, and angrily brushed a strand of loose long hair out of her face, “And I can’t even braid my stupid hair.” Overwhelmed tears flooded her eyes, tears of frustration and exhaustion. He looked like he was going to reach for her again, so she started to back away, he caught her hand to halt her retreat but made no further move to touch her.

“Daenerys, you are my life,” He whispered in a choked voice, “All those other things, the wedding, my job, they don’t matter without you. Do you understand?”

She did not understand, but she nodded anyway.

“Jon, when is our wedding?”

“That’s not important right now.”

“It is to me, I need to know what kind of timeline we are working on here,” Dany said firmly.

“There is no time line, the only important thing right now is you, and helping you get better,” Jon replied. _What if I never get better?_ She wanted to ask but could not muster the courage.

“Please tell me when it is, I would like to know,” Dany managed to say quite calmly. Jon took a deep breath.

“In two months.”

Two months. Dany nodded and they stared at each other, not seeming to know where to go from here. Suddenly, Ghost whined.

“I need to take him for a walk,” Jon said, “Would you like to come with me?”

Dany shook her head, “I think I need to lie down for a bit.”

“Will you be alright by yourself?”

Dany rolled her eyes and glared at him.

“I’m sorry,” he tried to smile, “I know you are not an invalid.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to run away from home,” she quipped. He nodded as he raked his hand through his beautiful dark curls. Dany had a strange desire to run her own fingers through those curls.

“I’ll be right back,” Jon assured as he grabbed Ghost’s leash off the coat rack, “Come on, Ghost.”

Dany grabbed her blanket, smelling the piney scent again, and sat down for a moment on Jon’s pullout bed. Two months was not a very a long time.

            Dany woke feeling groggy and her head was pounding once again. The apartment was quiet, and it appeared that several hours had elapsed since she had fallen asleep, and much to her chagrin she realized she had fallen asleep on Jon’s pullout bed. The sound of movement in the kitchen drew her attention. She went and found Jon hunched over paper work, glasses perched on his nose, and his hair was wet and pulled back in an adorable bun out of his face. He must have just showered. He looked fresh and clean. She studied his profile, as he had not yet noticed her presence. Jon was an attractive man, she had to admit, somehow both masculine and beautiful. Though a taunting voice in the back of her mind, reminded her that every man she had ever been with had been attractive, and that had never done her any good.

“Well, hello Sleeping Beauty,” Jon teased, finally realizing she stood staring at him.

“What time is it?”

“About 5 o’clock. You slept for almost six hours.”

“The pain meds make me sleepy,” Dany said and sat down at the table with him, “And now my head is hurting again.” Jon reached his hand out to touch her neck, but she recoiled.

“What are you doing?” She snapped.

“I’m sorry,” Jon sighed in frustration, “Before…you liked me to rub the back of your neck when you had a headache.”

She had to admit to herself that that sounded quite nice, but she was not about to tell him that.

“I’m sorry I keep screwing up, it’s just hard to remember, and wrap my mind around the fact that you don’t remember doing those types of things with me,” He confessed. Dany nodded, not knowing what to say, “I remember when we first started dating, and you were not comfortable with… with…” He did not seem to know what he was going to say. She knew though. He did not have to say it. She knew because to her it seemed like only yesterday. Four years ago, she had not been comfortable with displays of affection. Daario had called her frigid. Daario had never understood, not her past with Viserys, nor her past with Drogo. Daario had been a callous imbecile. She glanced at Jon, was he different? Spending the day with him said that he was different. Missandei said he was different. But Dany knew, that anyone could be anyone for a day.

When Dany retreated to her room that night and began to ready for bed, she noticed an article of clothing sitting on the foot of the mattress that had not been there before her long nap. She picked it up. It was a soft, cotton sports bra with no hooks, or fastenings. A wave of unwelcome emotion swept over her, as she studied it. Before she could stop herself, she marched back into the living room. His back was to her as he spread a sheet over the pullout. Rallying her courage, she wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and hugged him. He stiffened at first then relaxed into her embrace and noticed the sports bra she was still holding.

“I knew you had one, I found it in the laundry…”

“Thank you,” She cut him off and inhaled deeply trying to control her emotions. He smelled like pine and soap.

 

Dany woke the next morning feeling irritable. Strange dreams had plagued her sleep. One though clung to her mind while the others faded into her lost memory. Viserys. She got out of bed and wrestled with dressing herself. Then she wrestled with brushing her silvery blonde hair, which just made her more irritable. She had always kept her hair long, nearly to her waist, but now she just wanted to take scissors to it. With one hand in a cast she could not braid it or do anything special with it. She wanted to scream, but then chastised herself for acting like a child. Maybe Missandei could come over and braid her hair? "Missandei has better things to do than come over and play dress up with you," she scolded herself into the mirror, and felt like a child as she wrestled with it some more before giving up.

The apartment was quiet when she cracked open the door and listened for Jon’s movements. Was he awake? Or was he gone? Surely, he would not leave her here alone without telling her? Would he? She honestly did not know. Maybe she had scared him off? She would not blame him. By all accounts, he had been set to marry a thriving, brilliant law student, but now he was stuck with a childish amnesiac who could not even braid her own hair. She scoffed at herself. _Who would want her now?_

Jon was not on the pullout. She crept to the kitchen and found a mug and an assortment of tea to choose from on the countertop. Dany smiled. She still was not sure what to make of Jon and his beautiful dark curls, but his thoughtfulness warmed her. Never in her life had she been treated with such care and attention. She wondered if he had always been this way, or if he did these things because he felt sorry for her. That thought soured some of the affectionate feelings which had bloomed. Dany set some water in the kettle on the stove. Dany was staring out the window waiting for her water to boil, when she nearly jumped out of her skin as a hand was placed on her shoulder from behind without her hearing his footsteps. "Shi...." the curse died on her lips, as she remembered how Viserys used to smack her on the mouth for cursing. He said it was not ladylike. He said Rhaegar would have been ashamed. After Drogo, she thought Rhaegar would have been ashamed no matter what.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you, I figured you heard me... I should have said something," Jon rambled.

Dany only nodded, still lost in thoughts of her past.

"What are you thinking about?" Jon hesitantly asked.

"Viserys."

"Viserys?" Jon repeated in that same incredulous tone that he and Missandei used at the hospital. Dany rolled her eyes.

"I don't think it's that strange for me to be thinking about my last living family member," Dany snapped. Jon said nothing, but a hardened look crossed his handsome face.

"I mean, I know he wasn't a perfect brother..."

"Wasn't the perfect brother? Is that what you are going to call it?"

"Jon, what happened to Viserys?"

"He's in Kings Landing running your father's business as far as I know."

That idiot was running her father's business? Rhaegar's business? Her business? She owned half that business, she knew she did. When Rhaegar had died he had left it equally to both of them so that they would be taken care of when he was gone.

"How is it then that I am here with you in Winterfell, and he's down there, when half of that company is mine?!" Dany hissed.

"Around the time we moved in together, you sold him your half of the company in exchange for him keeping out of your life. You had discovered that around the time you ran off with Drogo, that Viserys had begun mismanaging business funds, and he had become such an intrusive presence in your life that you decided to cut all ties with him."

"I did not run off with Drogo!"

"Dany..."

"No! You make it sound like I was some petulant teenager who ran away from home. I thought I loved him….I thought he loved me."

"I know, love, I know you did," his voice was soft and sad.

"Stop calling me that!" Dany shouted. Jon snapped his mouth shut, but Dany could tell he was irritated now.

"I need to talk to Viserys," Dany stated plainly.

"Why?"

"Because none of this makes sense to me," Dany explained exasperated, "That business is my father's legacy. Rhaegar's legacy. And I don't like the idea that Viserys is down there running it into the ground."

"I don't think that's a good idea..." Jon started, but Dany's temper flared.

"Stop! Just stop! You are not my father! You are not even Rhaegar!" Dany shouted, "and for that matter, you are not my husband, you can't tell me what to do!" She knew that last one was a low blow. She saw him flinch, but to his credit he did not lose his temper.

"Dany, Viserys abused you."

"I know that, don't you think I know that? I was there after all!"

"I can't just stand by and let you invite him back into your life like nothing happened!"

"I need to know what happened to my company," she snapped, "I need to know from him."

None of this was adding up to her, why would she sell her part of her father’s business?

"Dany, it's not your company anymore, you sold..." she did not let him finish.

"You're lying!"

"Do you really think I'm a liar?" He shouted this time, and she could tell he was angry now. Dany felt tears of frustration and anger spring to her eyes and all she could do was shout back.

"I don't know, I don't know you!"

And just like that she saw Jon's anger deflate, and his face soften, but before he could say anything else Missandei's angry voice in the doorway met their ears, "What the hell is going on?"

They both whipped around to face her. "Jon Snow, I thought you said you could handle this!" Missandei leveled him with her eyes.

"Missandei..." he started, but Dany cut him off.

"There is nothing to handle, Missy, we were having a quarrel. Lovers quarrel sometimes, don't they? We are lovers, aren't we?" Dany snapped sarcastically, Jon may not have been angry anymore, but she still was, and a petty part of her wanted to punish him. She was still glaring at him, when Missandei took her arm.

“Jon, make some tea,” Missandei commanded, “Dany, you come with me.”

            Missandei sat her down on the bed in her room and found a hairbrush, and as if they had done it their whole lives, began to brush and braid Dany’s hair.

“Now, can you please tell me what I walked in on in there?” Missandei asked softly.

“Jon is being an ass,” Dany huffed, and crossed her arms over her chest, then uncrossed them when she saw her reflection in the mirror on the other side of the room and felt it made her look like a sulky child.

“Just him?” Missandei seemed to find her indignation somewhat amusing.

“Maybe not just him,” Dany confessed, feeling her own anger deflating at Missandei’s gentle smile.

“What were you fighting about?”

“Viserys,” Dany responded and related the entirety of their fight to Missandei’s patient ears. Missandei confirmed her frustrations, but also confirmed the truth of Jon’s words. She had really sold her share in her father’s company.

“Jon’s treating me like a child, I think I am old enough to make my own decisions about who I want to talk too and who I want to see even if my memory is gone, and it’s not like I’m trying to run off to King’s Landing tomorrow to deal with this, I just don’t remember coming to these decisions and I find it unnerving that I abandoned a business that I relied on for so much, especially after Drogo, all for some guy with pretty hair.” Missandei laughed, and Dany found herself laughing in spite of herself.

“I should not have shouted at him,” Dany confessed, “My head is pounding again.”

“Neither of you should have been shouting,” Missandei chided, and took her hand, “Why don’t you take your pain meds, then you and I will go for walk while we wait for it to kick in, and then I will bring you home and tuck you in for your afternoon medication induced nap?” Missandei chuckled.

“Maybe this time I won’t sleep the whole day away.”

“It’s okay if you do, you are only two days out of the hospital, and you need to be patient with yourself and give yourself time to heal.”

“Alright, lets go for a walk then,” Dany said after reaching to take her meds, and slipping on her lace-less shoes. When they walked to the front door, Jon was still standing helpless in the kitchen, though he had made the tea as Missandei had commanded and handed them each a cup. Dany could not bring herself to look at him.

“Dany and I are going for a walk,” Missandei informed him.

“Alright…” He said, raking his hand through his curls.

“Don’t worry, Jon, I’m not kidnapping her forever, I’ll bring her back,” Missandei teased, giving his arm a reassuring pat.

“Can Ghost come with us?” Dany forced herself to meet his eyes. He nodded.

            Missandei looped her arm through Dany’s as they started off down the lane.

“I don’t think Jon means to treat you like a child,” Missandei finally said once they had made a sufficient distance from the apartment, “I don’t think he realizes it, but I think he is afraid of losing you, afraid of you not wanting him anymore.”

“It’s not like I’m trying to kick him to the curb,” Dany replied.

“I know that, and I think he does too,” Missandei explained, “I don’t know what you and he have been talking about the last two days, but has he told you anything about himself?”

“Not much.”

“Jon never knew his father, and his mother died at a very young age, if it had not been for the Starks, he would have ended up in foster care.”

Dany was not sure what to say.

“You are Jon’s family now,” Missandei continued, “Maybe he gets a little over zealous about it at times, but he is just trying to protect you,” she chuckled, “and he loves you very much.”

 _Love_ , the word made her uncomfortable, so she tried to brush it off, “Still…”

“Still, he does not have the right to tell you who you can and cannot talk to,” Missandei finished for her, “And if you really feel like talking to Viserys will help you, then we can set that up, but please give yourself some time to think it over, a week or two at least.”

Dany nodded.

“And just for the record, you did not sell your part of the company for Jon or his pretty hair,” Missandei smiled.

“He does have pretty hair though, doesn’t he?” Both girls laughed.

            Several hours later, after her walk with Missandei, a shower, and a refreshing nap, Dany made her way to the kitchen and found Jon sitting at the table working on his paperwork. His wild curls were loose around his face. He turned to her when she entered and gave her a gentle smile.

“I’m sorry,” She admitted.

“No, I’m sorry,” He quickly responded, “It was not my intention to treat you like a child, or make you feel like a prisoner here, I just wanted to keep you safe, and I get carried away sometimes.”

Dany smiled. Missandei knew them both so well.

“I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but I do love you,” he sounded a little choked up, “I love you very much, and I don’t need a response to that right now, but I hope you will let me love you again.”

Dany opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out, except for, “Can I touch your hair?”

His mouth twitched as if trying not to smile, but he nodded. The smile was gone, however, when she stepped toward him and came to stand between his legs where he was sitting. He stared up at her, and as if he could not stop himself, he placed one of his hands on her ribcage. He did not move it just rested it there, as she looked down at him feeling her heart pounding. Jon’s eyes were so vulnerable, that it made her feel both powerful and terrified. Dany stroked her hand through his hair once, smoothing the curls back away from his face, marveling at how soft they were, before letting her hand come to rest on his bearded cheek. He swallowed, still looking into her eyes, but not moving. His hand over her ribcage, soft and gentle.

“Thank you for being patient with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this story is not going to take place entirely in their apartment, but I figured that the first two days out of the hospital they would be staying home.


	5. Hands (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a short, fluffy chapter. Its rather short, mainly meant to set up the next chapter, but I hope you enjoy it.

Dany was already in bed as Missandei fretted in the kitchen on Thursday night.

“I’ll be gone tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday, and will be home Monday morning,” Missandei informed Jon again. She was going with her husband Grey, to see her parents, because her father had fallen ill and was in the hospital.

“Missy, we will be fine,” Jon assured her.

“After Tuesday…” Missandei started, but Jon put his hands on her shoulders.

“Tuesday was a rough spot, I’ll admit,” Jon said, “But we got on fine yesterday, and today.”

The day after their fight over Viserys, Dany requested to see any photographs they had of their life together. She had spent most of the day on Wednesday sorting through them. She had taken her customary lengthy nap in the afternoon, and then over dinner showed him the pictures she had said were her favorite. It had surprised him how many of the pictures she favored were of him and her together, but he wisely made no comment on that fact. This afternoon, she had put all her favorite pictures into photo albums that he had procured for her from the dollar store down the street and had shyly made him promise to soon tell her the story behind each picture.

“I know, and I know its not always helpful having me hover,” Missy sighed, “She’s my best friend, and I know she is feeling vulnerable right now, she needs me.”

“Yes, she needs you,” Jon confirmed, “But your parents need you too, nothing is going to happen in three days that I can’t handle.”

“You will call Sansa if she needs anything?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“And at the party Saturday, the doctor said it would be good for her only to a point, you need to watch out for her and make sure she does not get overwhelmed,” Missandei said anxiously, “There will be some people at the party who don’t know about her condition, and that could rattle her.”

“I will not leave her side.”

Jon had many qualms about attending this party. It was his Uncle Ned’s birthday, the man who had raised him and basically been his father. Dany had insisted this morning that they had to go once she heard who the party was for, but Jon had not thought it a good idea. To break the impasse they had come too, Jon and Missandei had called the doctor expecting that he would side with them. Surprisingly, he had said that the party, in moderation, could be good for her, especially if attended by her friends and family, if they were careful not to overwhelm her. Dany had been very smug after that phone call.

“Alright then, I guess, I’ll go home, call me if you need anything,” Missandei gave his arm a squeeze, “I will be back on Monday.”

“Goodnight, and have a safe trip, Missandei.”

Stripping down to his briefs, Jon tucked himself onto the pullout and tried to sleep, but he was restless. Missandei and he had discussed the wisest courses of action for their impending wedding earlier that day while Dany napped. He had almost completely decided, and Missandei agreed, that the best course of action concerning their wedding was to cancel, rather than postpone. He did not want to place unnecessary pressure on Dany. Neither he nor Missandei, however, could decide whether he should discuss this with her, or simply inform her. There were perils to each. If he simply informed her, he ran the risk of making her angry by not involving her in the decision-making process. If they discussed it, he ran the risk of making her feel pressured for a decision that she was not ready to make. If she was pressured to make that decision, at this point he imagined she would refuse to marry him, and perhaps even reconsider their living arrangement, neither of which he wanted, whether they had their wedding in two months or not. This week at least she had seemed content enough to live in a sort of limbo, still referring to them as engaged and not suggesting any changes to their living situation, while also not wanting to discuss the future but he knew their contented limbo was precarious. She, as much as he, was trying to wait and see if her memory would come back before making long term decisions. Jon did not want to face the possibility that her memory might not come back, so he shoved those thoughts deep down so that they could not escape. Jon looked at her engagement ring that he had kept on a chain around his neck since the accident and sighed. Jon rolled over muttering curses against the bars that he could feel in the pullout bed.

 

Missandei had stopped by once more on her way to the airport with Grey the next morning to ensure that they had everything they needed. Jon laughingly assured her once again that they would be fine and ushered her out the door, but when he turned to see Dany staring at the back of the door, he could tell that she was not so sure. She looked shy and hesitant, like she had earlier in the week. Would they lose the progress they had made over the last few days? Fear gripped him briefly, before he reminded himself that it had only been five days since they had come home from the hospital. They both needed to be patient with each other. _“Its okay to push her a little bit out of her comfort zone, as long as you are careful not to overwhelm her, go slow,”_ the doctor had told him over the phone yesterday, and so Jon decided to take a risk.

“I’m going to take Ghost for a walk, and then thought…” He started, trying to sound casual, “I thought I might grab a cappuccino at this little sidewalk café down the road.”

Dany nodded, twirling the end of her braid around her fingers.

“Do you want to come with me?” He offered her his hand and gave her an encouraging smile. Before, Dany had always been an active person, and she had been cooped up in this apartment for five days, he imagined she was dying to get out of the house. Still, she hesitated, and he could almost see her deliberating in her mind, weighing the pros and cons of following him out that door, and away from the security of the now familiar apartment.

“It could be fun,” He offered after an awkwardly long silence, “Get some fresh air, drink something other than hot tea.”

“I like hot tea,” She quipped.

“You like cappuccino too, I promise,” He had to suppress a chuckle. Jon offered her his hand again, “Come on, come with me.”

She hesitated for only a moment more, before giving him a wary smile.

“Alright,” She said innocently, but gave him a beautiful cheeky glare that sent shivers down his spine that were anything but innocent. _Slow_ , he took a deep breath, he could go slow.

“But I’m not holding your hand!” She snapped. He laughed.

“Fair enough.”

            As they walked, Jon let his fingers occasionally brush against hers, just to see what she would do, but did not otherwise push her. He was a patient man. He would wait. He could wait for her for the rest of his life.

“Do I like law school?” She suddenly asked.

“You seem too.”

Dany nodded seeming to consider, “How will I ever catch up from missing so much?”

Jon felt his heart clench. He did not know if she would be able to finish the semester, and her professors had not really had much choice but to be understanding of the situation. Jon needed to talk to the doctor about how amnesia may affect her ability to continue with her degree. These were questions that he did not have the answers too. He wanted her to be able to finish it. She loved it and was so passionate about justice that it had made him fall in love with her even more.

“You are brilliant, Dany, and you are really good at what you do,” He assured her, “we will figure it out.”

“Viserys and Daario always used to tell me that I did not know what I was talking about,” Dany confessed, “And Drogo…Drogo used to say I was too young, or too much of a woman, to understand.”

Jon felt his jaw clench, how anyone could make this brilliant woman question herself the way they had made him unspeakably angry. He took a breath, trying to keep his voice even.

“Well, they were wrong, you are one of the most brilliant people that I know.”

To his surprise, she blushed at his words.

“Thank you, Jon.”

            At the sidewalk café, they studied the menu.

“What would you like?” Jon asked.

“I don’t know,” Her voice was quiet, and she looked back at the menu, then back at him. The way her eyes pleaded for guidance, was both endearing and terrifying. Jon did not want to make her dependent on him or make her feel that she needed to drink the same coffee that she drank before the accident. She had never drunk coffee before meeting him, he knew, so she would not remember. Trying to keep the moment light, and not wanting to draw attention to her memory problem, Jon did not suggest her usual.

“How about you close your eyes, and point to one, and see what happens,” He smiled at her, “It could be an adventure.”

“You have very low adventure standards, if you consider that an adventure.”

He laughed, before he could stop himself. She shot him that cheeky glare once again, then closed her eyes, and picked one.

“See that wasn’t so bad was it?” He took her hand and kissed it.

“I told you I was not going to hold your hand,” She snapped, but her eyes were teasing, not angry, and she smiled at him.

            They were silent for a bit after they got their coffee and walked toward home. It was not awkward, or tense, it was comfortable. Jon glanced at her every so often, watching as she inhaled deeply of the crisp autumn air, or warmed her hands on her coffee cup.

“Do you like holding my hand?” She suddenly asked.

“Yes.”

“Drogo didn’t.”

“Didn’t hold your hand, or didn’t like it?” Jon asked, though he knew the answer, but if she needed to verbalize these memories to him, he would not stop her.

“Both,” She said softly, “Drogo and Daario both only ever touched me, when they wanted something from me.”

Jon took a deep breath trying to not let his anger show. Cruel and careless men had shattered her heart before, Jon knew, and when they had started dating, he had played a role in helping pick up those pieces. He could do it again, couldn’t he?

“I’m sorry, if I…” he started, knowing he needed to be more careful with his touches.

“No, I didn’t mean that,” She explained, as they climbed the stairs to their apartment, “I think… I think… you are different.”

“I’m glad,” He said evenly as he unlocked the door and let Ghost inside.

“You are kind,” She sighed as she followed the dog in, “I’ve known so few kind men in my life.”

            That night they sat down to watch a movie. Jon watched as Dany gathered up popcorn, and beverages for them. Her beautiful silvery gold hair was completely loose and hanging down her back, and she was dressed in an oversized T-shirt that hit the back of her thighs, and leggings. He could spend all day studying her. Her quirks. Her facial expressions. Some of them were the same as before the accident, some were new. She had become an amalgamation of the Dany he was engaged too, and the Dany he had just started dating years ago.

“You are staring at me very fiercely,” She said bluntly with a teasing grin, as she sat herself down on the couch on the opposite end from him.

“Sorry,” His voice was gruff, having not realized he was so obvious, “I didn’t mean to ogle you.”

She laughed. _Gods, that sound was going to kill him_.

“Well, keep your eyes to yourself,” Dany teased him in a soft voice as he hit play on the movie. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her wrap that blanket that she loved so much around her, and chuckled. Even before the accident she had loved that blanket, and she had never told him why. He had had that blanket for years, maybe since his childhood. It was old, and ragged, but when he suggested a few months ago that they get rid of it and get her a new one, she had protested so vehemently he had never brought it up again. Her continued attachment to it even after the accident was another puzzle for him to solve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Dany and Jon go to a party at the Starks.


	6. Lost (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for hanging in there with me. I am not the greatest at writing the seconday characters, but as the story is focused on Jon and Dany I hope you can forgive me. This chapter discusses a bit of Dany's past, which is a little dark.

“Dany, do you need anything washed?” Jon asked from the other side of the bedroom door on Saturday… laundry day.

“Yes!” She called back, “I’ll bring it to you.”

Jon took his load of laundry to the laundry room which was just a part of their tiny kitchen. Dany appeared a moment later and handed him an assortment of clothing that she had worn from that week. To his surprise and amusement, she hopped up on the dryer and sat watching him as he loaded the clothes into the wash.

“Do you always do the laundry?” She asked, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear. He saw her fiddling with the cast on her broken hand.

“We usually do our own laundry,” Jon admitted, “My clothes don’t usually need any special care… but yours tend to be a bit more delicate, you actually banished me from doing your laundry, due to an unfortunate incident involving a red blouse and a white nightgown.”

She laughed, trying to sound indignant, “Then why are you doing my laundry now?”

“I learned my lesson, you see,” He gave her a significant smile, and added in a low voice, “No one was more upset than me, when you had to throw that nightgown away.”

She blushed so red, that he turned his attention back to putting the soap in the laundry to give her a moment of privacy, not wanting to push his luck before continuing with his plan.

“How would you feel about letting me take you on a proper date?”

“Have you never taken me on a proper date?” She asked with a bemused expression. Her sass never ceased to surprise and endear.

“I thought it could be a way to spend some time together,” He said lamely, and realized not for the first time, how much his words failed him.

“Have we not been spending time together?”

“What I mean is,” Jon raked his hand through his hair, “I want to take you out on a date, as if it were our first.”

Dany considered him for a moment, growing very quiet. Then she met his eyes again.

“Could I think about it?”

“Of course, love.”

            When he was done with the laundry, he offered her his hand to help her down from her perch on the dryer. She, unsurprisingly, ignored his hand, and hopped down herself.

“Did you pick out something to wear to the party?”

She nodded.

“Do you need help?” He asked, “With getting ready I mean?”

“Maybe.”

“Let’s go take a look?”

She nodded again and gave him a wary smile. Laid out on their bed, was a pair of leggings, a soft, cotton dress, and a cardigan.

“These don’t look too complicated,” Jon assured her.

“The dress has a zipper that I can’t reach, even if my hand wasn’t broken, and, obviously, I won’t be able to wear a sports bra,” She admitted. He opened his drawer and pulled out his party clothes.

“I’m going to go get dressed, just yell when you need me to zip you up, okay?”

She nodded.

            Twenty minutes later, he heard her calling for him. When he entered, she had her back to him, and very gently, he fastened her bra and zipped her dress up.

“I may need some help with my hair,” She admitted quietly. His breath caught in his chest. “I brushed it alright, but with my hand still all in a cast I can’t braid it myself, and I was struggling with the clips.”

“Sit down here and I will help you,” Jon said and took the hair brush off the dresser, “What did you have in mind?”

“I guess I was just going to clip it away from my face,” She said. Jon nodded. He could see her face in the mirror as he took the brush through her hair a few times, she looked vulnerable, and so he wracked his brain trying to think of something clever and funny to say to lighten the atmosphere. Unfortunately, words did not come easy to him, especially when he needed them most. Eventually, he pulled her hair away from her face in two small braids, in a way he had seen Sansa wear. They were a little uneven.

“We are quite a pair, aren’t we?” Dany asked with a grin, as she examined his handiwork. Jon raked a hand through his own hair.

“I can take it out and try again.”

“No, no, its perfect,” she smiled at him, “Thank you.”

            They arrived at the huge Stark Estate and Dany’s face had lost some of its color. Jon studied her as he went around to open her car door.

“Dany, love, we don’t have to do this, we can go home right now,” He said.

“No,” She snapped, “I want to go, I want to meet Mr. and Mrs. Stark, Sansa talked about them so much, and I want to know about… about your family. I mean I know I’ve met them all before, but I want to know them…I want to remember them.”

Jon nodded, “Alright, but if I get any indication that you can’t handle this, I’m marching you straight home.”

She nodded, in that hesitant way she had developed since the accident, “I’ll be alright, Jon.”

Jon knew she was strong. She was one of the strongest people he knew, but that also scared him. He wanted her to know that she did not have to be so tough for his sake, he wanted her to know that he would always be a safe place for her.

            They walked through the front door of the massive house, and Dany was clutching his arm so tightly with her good hand, that he wondered if he still had circulation. He patted her hand and tried to kiss her forehead, but she would have none of that.

“That makes me more nervous,” She snapped.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. There were more people here than Jon had anticipated. Aunt Catelyn must have invited Ned’s work associates. Jon felt nerves roiling in his stomach and looked down to where Dany was still clinging to his arm. _This was a mistake_. Just as he was about to pull Dany back toward the door, one of Ned’s business associates, whom Jon had known for most of his life, caught them.

“Jon! I did not think you’d make it, considering the accident and all,” John Umber bellowed, “And here is your little lady!” He said as if Dany’s mental faculties were impaired. Jon winced as her fingers dug into his arm.

“Do you remember me, young lady?” Umber asked, smiling stupidly at Dany as if she were a child. It took all of Jon’s self-control not to throw a punch at the old man. Dany, though, surprised him and smoothly said,

“I’m afraid not, we are still working on memory recovery, its quite a process.”

“If you’ll excuse us, Mr. Umber, I haven’t found Ned yet, and we aren’t staying long,” Jon snapped.

“Of course, of course, understandable considering the circumstances,” Umber said as if Dany were not there. Jon had a sharp retort on the tip of his tongue when Dany pulled at his arm, obviously trying to avoid an altercation with the insensitive fool.

            To Jon’s relief he saw Robb making his way toward them but considered too late that this too was precarious.

“Jon!” He hugged him, and then proceeded to throw his arms around Dany. Dany stiffened for a moment. Jon winced. No one seemed to be able to grasp that they were strangers to Dany, and though he knew Dany remembered Robb fondly, maybe too fondly, from a few brief encounters, she no longer remembered the history that allowed Robb to hug her the way he did.

“How are you feeling? Sansa said your head injuries are still giving you a lot of pain,” Robb’s sweet care seemed to soften Dany.

“Physically I am starting to feel a bit better,” Dany said softly. Robb hugged her again. _Gods, stop touching her,_ Jon wanted to say but it could not be helped. Robb had not spent much time with Dany four years ago when she was still recovering from the tatters of her past with Viserys, and Drogo, or during her final fallout with Daario. Dany remembered Robb from the time he came to see Sansa during their time in King’s Landing together, much like Arya. Jon felt an irrational surge of jealousy toward Robb. He knew that when Dany had first met Robb, she had had a girlish crush on him before meeting Jon and falling in love. Long before the accident Dany used to tease him about it, when he got too brooding and serious. Jon knew his jealousy now was irrational, she likely had no such thoughts about Robb now, but still she remembered him, however vaguely, and so Jon was jealous just the same.

“Come on, Marge, Jeyne, and Pod are here, and we were thinking of setting up a game of volleyball,” Robb urged, seeming to not comprehend the gravity of their situation.

“Robb…” Jon started. He had no desire to play volleyball right now, and Dany certainly should not be playing volleyball no matter how much they had used to love it. _This was a mistake_ , his thoughts continued to taunt him, as he glanced around the room looking for escape. Navigating this room, would be like navigating a minefield. Jon looked at Dany who was clutching his arm again. They were then assailed by Catelyn Stark, who blessedly only touched Dany’s cheek and looked like she was trying to hold back tears.

“I’m so happy you both were able to come,” Catelyn said, giving Jon a kiss on the cheek, “Come, Ned is in the backyard.”

            Jon felt palpable relief when Ned, the man who had raised him, spotted them and marched over.

“Jon, good to see you, son,” Ned hugged him, then held his hand out for Dany to shake, “Dany, Ned Stark.”

Dany released her death grip on Jon’s arm and gave Ned her good hand. She smiled.

“Please to meet you…uh, again.”

Ned chuckled, “Sorry for the crowd, you know Catelyn believes we practically have to invite the whole town to these things, I’d just as soon sit by the fire with all of you kids, but she doesn’t seem to believe me.”

“It’s alright, Dad,” Jon had always alternated between calling him Dad and Uncle, “but we probably won’t stay long.”

“Dany!” A child’s shriek split the air.

“Rickon, stop!” Came Arya’s voice. Rickon Stark, the youngest of the Ned and Catelyn Stark’s children, who was nine years old, came bounding up to Dany.

“Rickon, remember what I told you earlier about being gentle with Dany?” Ned scolded.

“Yes, sir,” Rickon looked so dejected that Jon had to smile and ruffle his hair. Rickon was Sansa’s only sibling that Dany would not remember, as she had never met him prior to when her memories were gone. Jon knew Rickon would struggle, as he and Dany had been quite close before the accident. He felt his chest tighten as she mussed the little boy’s curly hair.

“Hello, Rickon,” She said sweetly, acting as if she remembered him. Dany had always loved children, and he felt a sadness grip his heart at the conversation that he knew would be coming soon between him and Dany. He shoved those thoughts aside, blinking away the tears that had started to form in his eyes.

“Want to come play cards with Arya, Bran, Gendry and me?” Rickon asked hopefully, and Arya explained they were playing the same card game that she had taught them earlier in the week. Surprisingly, Dany released Jon’s arm, and made to follow Rickon, though she glanced back at Jon with a hesitant smile. _This was a mistake_ , the voice in his head said once again.

Jon made to follow her, but was accosted by a group of elderly men, who wanted to chew Jon’s ear off about his military experience. Jon tried to brush them off, explained that he was a social worker now, but they continued to throw a barrage of questions at him about his service. Twenty minutes had passed before Jon could extricate himself without being rude, but the throng in the backyard had only grown and he had lost sight of her quite a while ago. Jon looked to Ned, who seemed to be attuned to his rising panic.

“Dad…” Jon started, feeling his heart constrict with anxiety.

“Jon!” Arya suddenly shouted, marching up to him, “I can’t find Dany!”

“What do you mean you can’t find, Dany?” Jon snapped, more harshly then he meant too, frustrated at how quickly he had allowed a momentary lapse of judgement on his part, to become a full-scale emergency. This was not Arya’s fault, it was his. He should have rushed after her, curtesy be damned!

“Everything was going fine, she was with Rickon playing cards, and I went to grab some sodas for us, and when I came back, she was gone. Rickon said that a couple of women had pulled her away because they wanted to ask her about the wedding!”

“What?!” Jon nearly shouted, instinctively turning to Ned for guidance, “Dad, she is not ready to be having those kinds of conversations with strangers.”

“Jon, take a deep breath,” Ned put his hand on Jon’s shoulder, “She’s still here at the house, we just need to find her. Arya, did Rickon say who pulled her off?”

“He said he did not know them.”

Jon pushed past the crowd, trying not to look as panicked as he felt, and moved toward the house. In his rush, he nearly ran Sansa over.

“Jon! Thank the gods,” She exclaimed, “I have Dany up in my room, she’s okay, just a little shaken, but I think it would be wise to take her home.” Jon drew Sansa into his arms and kissed her forehead.

“Thank you,” able to breathe again, Jon bounded up the stairs two at a time, and opened the door to Sansa’s room, he could hear Sansa and Ned whispering in the hallway.

“Dany?”

She sat up from where she had been curled in a ball on Sansa’s bed. The look on her face broke him. She had tear streaks down her cheeks, and her lower lip was quivering.

“You did not come after me,” were the first words out of her mouth, ever haunted by her past fears, as tears started to pour down her cheeks again.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Dany,” Jon confessed, making no excuses for breaking his promise and not staying by her side. He sat on the bed in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” She cried, “I shouldn’t have left you. I just wanted to know your family.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I’m ruining the party! I can’t stop crying!” She huffed as more tears fell, “They seemed to know me, and I didn’t want to be rude, but then they were asking things about the wedding, and I didn’t know the answers, and then I realized they did not know about the accident and I didn’t know how to tell them, and then I could not see you, or Arya, or sweet Rickon, or anyone, and then…” She took a shuddering breath, “Then all I could see was that I was surrounded by strangers in a strange place, and I didn’t even know how to get back to the car, the house is so big…” Before she could continue her stuttered rambling explanation, Jon cut in.

“Love, lets take you home. Do you want to go home?” He asked gently. She nodded. As they were walking out, Sansa gave Dany a hug and promised to call her in the morning to check on her. Ned gave her a handkerchief and a gentle smile.

“I’m here for you if you need anything at all, son,” Ned said, patting Jon’s shoulder. Jon felt tears threaten him, but he took a deep breath. He had to be strong for Dany. They made it to the car, drawing only a couple of looks, and Jon took Dany home.

 

            He drew her a bath while she sat shivering on the bed and hoped the warm water would soothe her. After unzipping her dress for her, it was his turn to sit on the bed, while she closed the door and bathed. He determined to wait for her, no matter how long she took. When Dany finally emerged from the bathroom, she had donned her soft cotton pajamas and her hair was loose and wet.

“Can you braid my hair?” She asked softly, as she inspected the cast on her right hand to make sure she did not get it wet.

“Yes,” Jon replied, and she sat in front of him on the bed and allowed him to run his fingers through her long locks as he braided them in a simple, single plait. After he was done, she got under the covers, and leaned against the headboard, drawing her favorite blanket across her lap. Jon sat beside her in silence for a while.

“I wanted to go to the party, because I wanted to know, or remember, what it felt like to have a loving family,” she finally said after a long silence. He let her continue without interruption, “I did not ever know my parents, but even though I was young when Rhaegar died, I remember being happy, and I remember being loved. After Rhaegar died, though, is when Viserys started hitting me, and I never understood the change in him, but I knew I would never have a happy home and family.”

Jon wanted to reach out and hold her, but he refrained. He had heard this story before, but now it was twice as sad. She had lost all the happy memories they had made together in the last four years and had only been left with all the bad ones.

“Drogo, was an older wealthy business man, and an associate of Viserys’ and my business,” Dany took a shuddery breath, but all her tears from earlier had evaporated, “I ran away with him wanting to escape Viserys, and thinking he loved me as only a stupid seventeen year old could think, but he only wanted my half of our business. After we married, he was never kind or gentle, he was always harsh and rough,” Dany choked on those words, but Jon knew what she was trying to say, “Things got a little better after we found out I was pregnant, but then I miscarried, and he resented me for it. When Drogo died of a heart attack a year later, I felt…relieved.” Jon hated that she looked ashamed of that, “I think when I married Drogo, a part of me had wanted Viserys to come after me, as twisted as that sounds, I wanted him to be like Rhaegar, the heroic big brother and who would protect me. I just wanted a family again,” Dany sighed, “I was a fool.”

“No, love,” Jon assured her, “You were young, and you were hurting.”

“Well, I may have been young and hurting then, but I certainly was a fool for getting involved with Daario,” She released a derisive laugh. Dany reached for one of her recently assembled photo albums on her nightstand.

“I still would hold that you were young and hurting.”

“Maybe,” She smiled at him then, a genuine smile, then started to flip through her photo album. Jon glanced over at the pictures with her and found himself smiling too.

“We were happy, weren’t we?” She asked.

“Aye,” Jon whispered.

“I wish I could remember,” There was a hint of frustration in her voice that Jon did not fail to notice, “I want to remember.”

“I know you do,” the tension in the air had begun to dissipate. She continued to flip through the photos, and one caught Jon’s eye.

“Hey, look this one was our first date,” He said, pointing to the selfie of the two of them bundled in coats on pier, “It was at Lake Winterfell, and I stupidly planned an outdoor picnic on the pier in November.”

“November?” Dany repeated, and he could see that she was trying to establish a timeline in her head.

“It was nearly a year after we met, a year after Sansa brought you home for Christmas.”

“I don’t remember how I broke up with Daario,” Dany said, “I know we fought over me coming up here that Christmas, but that is the last memory I have of him. Is that why we broke up?”

Jon scoffed playfully, trying to keep the mood light after it having been so dark before, “No, you two were together for a little while longer.” She shot him a teasing grin.

“Did you steal me from Daario?” She asked trying not to laugh.

“Would that change things?” Jon teased right back. Dany suddenly shifted around to face him on the bed, sitting on her knees.

“Confess, Jon Snow, I would have the truth, did you steal me from Daario?” She giggled playfully as she pointed an accusing finger at his chest.

“Maybe I swept you away with my roguish charms and way with words,” He laughed and grabbed her hand.

“And just how would I know that you are not some wild philanderer stealing the hearts of women across the known world?” Dany teased, and surprised him by reaching down and tickling his feet.

“Philanderer, huh? That’s a very fancy word,” He laughed as she continued to go after his ticklish feet, and so he caught her by the waist and started tickling her sides. He and Dany both were laughing, as she fell onto her back on the bed trying to brush away his teasing hands. Jon followed her, the seriousness of the evening forgotten in the moment. When their fit of giggles had subsided, Jon did not know how he had ended up draped across her legs, with his arms around her waist, and his face level with her stomach. He glanced up at her, and before he thought about what he was doing, he placed a gentle, featherlight kiss against her belly. He regretted it immediately, as she hastily pulled herself away from him nearly kicking him off in the process.

“I’m tired,” she said softly. He did not know if he should beg her forgiveness or leave her alone, so sat there a moment in silence, mourning the loss of their comforting moment due to his own stupidity.

“Goodnight, Jon,” she said and with that dismissal he returned to the living room, mentally cursing at himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: A date and a revelation.


	7. Futures (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your comments! Your enthusiasm makes writing this fic so much fun! 
> 
> This chapter is pivotal and I hope I did it justice!

Dany lay awake staring at the ceiling dreading getting up and facing him. She had not meant to be so abrupt with him last night, but the stress of the party and his careful tenderness afterward, had left her tired and confused.

“I’m a disaster, aren’t I, Ghost?” Dany asked the big white dog that was snuggled up against her side. He whined, and Dany wondered if the dog knew how she had basically thrown his master out of the room last night over an innocent kiss. _Was it innocent though_? She asked herself, recalling the way he had looked at her as he pressed that kiss against her stomach. Jon wanted her to love him, just as he did her. She, of course, knew this from the first day they came home a week ago. The thought was tempting. Could she have fallen in love with him in a week? Dany doubted it. Then haughtily proceeded to tell herself that it was not fair of him to expect such a thing of her. She thought of his stormy grey eyes and softened. He had four years’ worth of memories to draw on, but she only had a week’s worth. How could she love him already? Did she even want too? She picked up the picture of their first date. The thought made her sad.

Ghost whined again, and Dany knew she was going to have to let him out of the room so that Jon could take him for a walk. Maybe she could creep up to the door, let Ghost out of the bedroom, and Jon would not notice, and she could just stay in here for the rest of the day? Slowly, she crept to the door and listened for a moment. Everything in the apartment was silent. Maybe Jon was still asleep? Opening the door slowly and just enough for Ghost to slip out, she quickly closed it back, hoping she could make it back to her bed without him knowing she was awake. She snuggled back under the covers, just as she heard a gentle knock on the door.

“Dany?” His strong voice came from the other side. She did not respond. “Dany?” He repeated. When she did not respond again, she heard him sigh and say, “Breakfast is ready whenever you are ready to come out. I’m going to take Ghost out for a bit.” He walked away then. She absurdly felt disappointed that he did not invite her to come with him. _You idiot_ , she chastised herself, _you are the one who did not answer him, and he probably needs a break from you anyway_.

Dany got out of bed, cracked open the door, and listened for the click and lock of the front door, indicating that he had left. In the kitchen, she found breakfast set for her on the table, with her favorite hot tea. Part of her wanted to begrudge him his thoughtfulness, but another part of her melted at it. Had he been thoughtless and inattentive, it would have been much easier to dismiss him. She thought of his eyes. Dismissing him would be near impossible, and so she ate and determined to wait right there for him to return.

An hour passed. He did not come back. She assumed that perhaps he had taken Ghost to the park instead of just around the block. Dany settled on the recliner and read the newspaper he had left on the table. When another hour passed, and he still had not returned, an irrational part of herself determined that she had finally driven him mad and he had left with Ghost, probably forever. It was probably for the best, she told herself, the way her emotions had been flip flopping back and forth, between uncontrollable tears to irate anger, would likely make anyone crazy. Another hour passed, and she curled up in her bed and wrapped her blanket around her, inhaling its scent. Something shifted in her mind, and she could not decide if it was a memory, or a deduction, but as she sniffed at the blanket again, she realized it smelled like Jon. Maybe it had always smelled like Jon. Maybe that is why she loved it so much. She cursed at herself when unbidden tears sprang to her eyes. Then she heard the front door open, and footsteps coming toward the bedroom.

“Dany?” He was back. She hastily sat up, and wiped at her eyes, as he came to stand in the open doorway.

“You came back,” She said before she could stop herself.

“Of course, I did,” He gave her a shy, half grin, “Were you hoping I wouldn’t?”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” She wiped at her eyes again, and she huffed when he noticed her tears.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Dany…”

Helplessly, she held the blanket up to him, and he took a few steps into the room, slowly as if she might bolt if he came too close.

“It smells like you,” She sobbed, as tears spilled. Jon now looked thoroughly exhausted and confused.

“We can wash it,” He offered, seeming unsure of what to say. She chuckled, and he looked even more confused.

“No, you don’t understand,” She tried again, “I think that’s why I always loved it before… I…I think… because it smells like you.” _Great, now he really thinks I’ve gone mad_.

Then his face broke into one of those rare, beautiful smiles that made her stomach do a little flip. He made a move toward her, and she moved back, suddenly afraid of her own feelings.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to touch you,” He whispered, as he sat down on the bed beside her, “I’m sorry about last night, I should have been more mindful, I didn’t mean to take liberties…”

She nodded, “It’s alright, I know… I know you were just…” The rawness of these emotions was hard for her to articulate. She could not recall ever being the most emotionally healthy person. He waited for her to finish the sentence, “I know you were… just trying to love me.”

“Aye, but I shouldn’t have done it just the same,” He said softly. She nodded.

“It wasn’t entirely unpleasant,” She confessed bluntly in a small voice, and to her surprise he threw back his head and laughed, “Its not funny,” she sulked.

“Sorry, sorry, I know,” He managed to get his laughter under control.

“I’ve also been thinking…”

“Hmm?”

“I think I would like for you to take me on a date,” Dany confessed quickly.

“Really?” He smiled, and the hope in his eyes, made her stomach do another flip.

“Yes.”

“Shall I pick you up tonight then?” Jon asked.

“Tonight! That’s rather quick, don’t you think?”

“Do you have other plans?” She could have smacked that teasing grin off his face, but instead she rose to the challenge.

“Tonight, it is then.”

           

            She felt foolish for being nervous. She had been living with this man for a week, a week that she could remember anyway, and had been alone with him for most of that time. What could a date change? Would it disrupt the strange status quo they seemed to have developed? Did that status quo need to be disrupted? Her mind had spiraled down so many paths as she attempted to dress herself up for their date, choosing simple but elegant clothes, and let most of her hair stay loose, and a bit wild. She did not want him to have to help her get ready. Already, she had begrudgingly asked him to fasten her real bra, and the rascal had had the audacity to say she was making habit of it. Her blush had been uncontrollable. Jon had left after that and been gone for almost an hour. She looked at the clock, it was 6:45. He had said that he would be back to pick her up at 7 p.m. He would be here any minute. As Dany thought back to her past romances, if one could even call them that, she did not know if she could say she had ever been taken out on, as Jon had called it, a proper date. Her and Daario’s relationship had begun with a clumsy, drunken tumble, and had somehow morphed into the dysfunctional nightmare that she remembered. Drogo liked to take her to business parties, and formal dinners, to show her off like the trophy that she was too him, but he never took her out just to spend time with her, and he never spoke to her with the intent to listen to what she had to say.

            A knock on the door disrupted her spiraling thoughts, and she hesitantly went to answer it. Who could be knocking on their door right now? When she opened the door, Jon stood there smiling at her, almost bashfully. He wore a black button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, black slacks, and black shoes. His wild curly hair was tied back in a knot at the back of his head. In his hands was a small bouquet of blue winter roses, her favorite flower. No one had ever brought her flowers that she could remember. For a moment she hesitated, occurring to her all at once that their relationship was dreadfully unbalanced. He knew so much about her, and she knew next to nothing about him. He loved her so much, and what did she feel about him? Pleasantly warm feelings of attachment? _Dependent_ , said a darker voice in her head. If she never got better, could he be content to carry on as they have been carrying on? Could she?

“Ready?” Jon asked, seeming to notice her hesitation.

“Let me put these in water so they won’t die,” She took the flowers from him, smelled them, breathing in their familiar scent, and put them in vase. Sitting them on the kitchen table, she stared at them a moment before deciding she wanted them on her nightstand so she could see them first thing when she woke up in the mornings.

“I want them by my bedside,” Dany told him, and he nodded, but his beautiful smile caused her stomach to flutter. When she returned, she followed him out the door and down the stairs. At the foot of the stairs, she hesitated once more. What were they playing at? _Pretend_.

“You don’t have to be shy,” Jon said softly, a tender, pleading look in his eyes as he held his hand out to her, “It’s just me.”

Mustering her courage, Dany took his hand.

            The car ride to wherever he was taking her was relatively silent. Dany glanced at Jon every so often. He seemed nervous as well, which strangely helped calm her. Whatever this was, whether pretend or not, they were in it together. They pulled up to a small café, and Jon came around and opened her door as he always did. She thought it an old-fashioned quirk for him to have, but she found that she liked it. As the host seated them, Dany had to ask.

“So, before, did you often bring me flowers?”

“Not as often as I should have,” He confessed with a chuckle. Dany playfully _tsk-ed_ at him.

“What kind of restaurant is this?”

“It’s a fondue bar, combining three of the greatest elements of life,” Jon leaned forward, and opened the bottle of wine sitting on their table and poured her a glass, “Wine, bread, and cheese.”

“Have we been here before?”

“No, I’d thought we try it tonight, and make a memory that we both could share.”

Dany blushed at his sweetness.

            Halfway through dinner, they found themselves laughing and talking with an ease which surprised Dany.

“Here try this one,” Jon dipped a morsel of steak into one of the cheese sauces and moved to offer it to Dany. She leaned forward, and he leaned forward, their eyes had locked somehow, and suddenly Dany saw the bite she was about to take fall from the fork, splattering melted cheese on her broken hand. Jon cursed at himself, and she chuckled.

“Sorry,” He then proceed to reach with his napkin to help clean it off and tipped over his glass of wine, which promptly shattered on the ground, drawing angry glares from other diners who had come here for the intimacy provided by wine, bread, and cheese. The waiter rushed over to assist Jon in attempting to clean up the wine, which only served to jostle their table. Dany could not help but laugh, as the flustered waiter urged Jon to sit, and let him handle the mess. Jon obeyed, looking bashful.

“Are you nervous, Jon?” She teased him.

“Can you blame me?” He laughed, self-consciously, then added with a teasing smile, “I’m trying to take my fiancée on our first date.”

She could not help but laugh at the absurdity of their situation and the fact that nothing either of them could do could wholly change it.

            After dinner, Jon took her down to the river that ran threw downtown Winterfell, the walk way was illuminated by lights for the upcoming holidays, making the river seem enchanted by fairies. She felt Jon brush his fingers against her knuckles and she wondered if he would take her hand. She wanted him too, and then tried not to laugh at how much that made her feel like a lovestruck teenager. He brushed his fingers against hers again.

“May I hold your hand, love?” He finally asked, to which she responded by lacing their fingers together.

“And here? Did we ever come here?” She asked curiously. Part of her wanted it all to be new things, things that she could remember, not feel bad about forgetting.

“We came here once,” Jon said, “About a year ago…after a particularly poorly handled fight.”

“What happened?”

“We walked for nearly two miles, before we both agreed that we were being equally foolish.”

“Did we fight a lot?” Dany had to know. She and Daario had fought all the time, and she supposed she and Drogo likely would have had more fights, if he had not frightened her so much.

“No, not a lot, I mean we squabbled occasionally, as couples do, and made up afterward,” Jon explained, “Only two fights, I can remember in our 3 plus years of being together, did I wonder if we were going to make it as a couple.”

“What did we fight about?” Dany was not sure she wanted to know that right, and to her relief he did not seem to want to talk about it, “Sorry, you probably don’t want to talk about those sorts of things.”

“It’s okay, we can talk about them sometime, maybe not tonight though,” He gave her that sweet half smile. Suddenly, she heard his stomach growl, and giggled.

“I don’t know about you, but I think that snooty fondue place needs to up their portion sizes,” Jon laughed, “Are you still hungry?”

“I did not want to admit it, but yes, yes I am.”

“Come on,” He took her hand tighter in his, “There is a Pentoshi food cart up here somewhere that we love, they don’t serve romantic bite size portions for us to feed each other, but they are much more satisfying.” She laughed as he pulled her down the path down the river.

            While the fondue had been excellent, the Pentoshi food was much more her style. The old man at the cart recognized them and slapped Jon on the shoulder by way of greeting.

“I have made this stew special for you and your lady love,” He said to Jon, as he dished out a spicy, aromatic stew into papers cups and handed them huge pieces of warm flat bread. Jon laughed.

“It is a good night for young lovers, no?” The old man laughed, and said conspiratorially, “Look at sweet Dany, so beautiful tonight! The moon is full, Jon Snow, and you know what that means, no?” Jon blushed, which made Dany giggle.

“I can’t imagine,” Jon responded rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks still red.

“The northerners say it has something to do with the stars aligning, just so, but I say it is all about the moon,” The jolly man roared with laughter and slapped Jon on the back again, before handed them their stew, and letting them continue on their way.

“I take it we frequent his cart, quite a lot,” Dany chuckled as she ate, and they walked back down the river walk.

“Yes, it’s one of our favorites,” Jon said, “And he has known me since I was a little boy, my mother used to take me there.”

“What was your mother like, Jon?” Dany asked softly, not sure if he would want to talk about his mother.

“She was sweet, and fierce, and kind,” Jon said, “From what I can remember anyway, I was only six when she died.”

“Did you never know your father?”

Jon looked uncomfortable talking about himself, but he responded anyway, “No, he was never in the picture, from what I understand he was a business man, who had a fling with my mother, without telling her that he had a wife and two kids at home.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Yes.”

“Did your mother never date, or marry?” Dany asked, though she felt she could surmise the answer to that.

“So inquisitive tonight,” Jon teased.

“Well, isn’t it appropriate to ask questions on a first date?” She teased right back.

“Mom, from what I can remember, only dated a little, most of the men ran for the hills as soon as they caught wind of me,” Jon confessed, “There was one boyfriend she had, the only one that had gotten serious enough for me to meet. He was pretty cool, and we got on fine, but one day I overheard him tell mom, that he was not ready for the responsibility of a ‘ready-made’ family, and then I never saw him again. I know now that it is irrational, but for a long time when I was little, I blamed myself for her dying, thinking if she had just had someone strong enough to protect her, she’d still be alive.”

Dany’s heart clenched thinking of a tiny Jon Snow, who just wanted to protect his mother. Dany had not meant to open a wound, but she found she wanted to know.

“Jon, how did she die?”

Jon leveled her with a look, “In a car accident.”

“Oh, Jon, I didn’t know,” Dany rushed to say, “Missandei, did not tell me that.”

“You two been talking about me, huh?” He gave a teasing grin. But she stopped him with a hand to the arm.

“Don’t do that,” She said, “Don’t sweep it under the rug, I want to know.” Jon looked at her again, and then nodded.

“Well, in Missandei’s defense she probably does not know, I don’t talk about the accident often,” Jon said, “I was in the car with her when it happened, a drunk driver t-boned us. I miraculously did not get hurt. I remember being terrified in the hospital, sitting with a social worker in the waiting area, the woman was so cold, that I assumed that she must have thought that it was my fault too, that maybe I had distracted mom too much while she was driving, or something like that, I had never been so relieved to see my Uncle Ned come crashing through the waiting room doors, with all the Starks in tow.”

“Oh, Jon, I’m so sorry,” Dany blinked a couple of times to hold back tears.

“It’s alright, love, it took some time, and lots of counseling, but I’m okay now, the past is what it is,” He said with a sigh, “I do remember a passionate lawyer named Howland Reed, who made sure that drunk driver faced justice for my mom.”

Dany smiled at him then.

“It’s part of the reason I became a social worker, well that, and what happened to you,” Jon said softly, “I never wanted another child to feel the way I felt in that waiting room, so alone and isolated, not knowing anything that was going on, and not understanding how their lives were about to change.”

She smiled at him then.

“We make a good team you know?” He said suddenly, his voice lighter, as they had finally reached their car, “You used to say that you were like a sword and I was like a shield, fighting injustices together.” He opened her car door.

“I like that,” Dany said, and he smiled that beautiful smile. _Gods, she was in trouble_.

 

Their conversation on their way home was lighter and found them laughing. Dany found herself enjoying his peaceful, yet strong presence, and she imagined that is what drew her to him in the first place. Reaching their apartment, Dany bounded up the stairs with him on her heels. Dany tossed him a cheeky smile as they approached their door.

“So, what do we usually do after a date?” She asked before thinking about the implications. She turned her gaze upon him and tried to look more confident than she felt. Jon’s eyes had both darkened and softened. Suddenly, she found herself pressed gently against the wall beside their front door with him leaning over her. She looked up at him, her breath catching in her chest at the look in his eyes. Leaning down he nuzzled his nose into her hair and kissed her temple.

“So impatient,” he whispered gruffly, in the most intimate voice she had ever heard, “That will have to wait for another time, my love.” Then his looming presence was gone, and he was unlocking the door. Dany was breathless for a moment, her knees actually feeling weak, and he had not even kissed her on the mouth.

“You alright, love?” He asked in a teasing voice, which disarmed the electric tension that had sprung up between them.

            They were mostly quiet the rest of the evening, but comfortable nonetheless as they played Scrabble in their pajamas, and then watched T.V. Jon was sprawled out on the pullout, toying with the ends of her hair as their show came to and end. She wanted to ask him something, something that she was not sure she had the courage to do but she was going to ask him anyway.

“Tomorrow, I have to go into the office,” Jon suddenly said, interrupting her train of thought.

“Alright.”

“I won’t be gone very long, but Davos… my boss… needs me at court for one of my kids.”

“I’ll be alright, Jon,” She said, as she rose to go to her room.

Once she was half way down the hall, she cursed at herself for being a coward. Marching back down the hall to the living room with resolve, she mustered her courage.

“Yes?” He looked up at her from the pullout.

“Do you…do you…” Dany hesitated, trying to be brave, “Do you want to sleep in the bed with me? Just sleep I mean,” it finally tumbled out of her mouth.

He looked up at her, surprise and shock clear on his face.

“For tonight?” She offered him a smile.

“Aye,” he said confidently, then seem to hesitate, “If you would like that.”

She gave him a playful roll of the eyes, trying to hide her nerves, even before Drogo and Daario, she had not been the type to jump in and out of strange men’s beds. But Jon wasn’t a stranger, was he?

“Well, I invited you, didn’t I? Besides, I’m sure this pullout bed is going to destroy your back.”

He nodded and stood to follow her. They were silent as they got under the covers, both still in their warm pajamas. Dany had on pajamas that covered her from ankle to wrist, and yet she felt naked lying there with him. Jon was lying on his side looking at her. She lay on her back looking at him. With a boldness that surprised even her, she took his hand and placed it on her stomach, he flexed his fingers for a moment then flattened his palm against her belly, adding just enough pressure to make her insides flutter. His heart was in his eyes, so tender and intimate. She had to look away.

“Goodnight, Jon,” she whispered as she reached over and turned the lamp off. She laced her fingers with his.

“Goodnight, love.”

 

Dany's eyes fluttered open. It could not be more than 2 a.m. she had been awoken by an uncomfortable dream of Drogo, but now she had to use the toilet. She looked down to where Jon's hand still softly rested against her stomach and smiled. He had not tried to touch her any more than what she had offered, but he was certainly taking what she could give him. Gently, so as not to wake him, she moved his hand so she could get up and quietly took herself to the bathroom. After doing her business, she went to replace the empty toilet paper roll she had finished. She was not sure where they kept toilet paper, so she began opening cabinets. In the medicine cabinet she ran across a strange container of vitamins and when she turned them around, she saw they were prenatal vitamins. She felt her stomach twist in nerves. Why would they have prenatal vitamins here? Trying to dismiss it, she went back to her search and opened the cabinet under the sink, and there she found the toilet paper, but the half empty box of pregnancy tests sitting beside it set her into a panic. She grabbed the box and marched back into the bedroom and switched on the lights. Jon stirred, but did not wake. She marched over to him and shoved his shoulder.

"Jon!" She snapped

"Hmm?" He mumbled

"Jon you awake up right now!" She said loudly and shoved him again. He blinked his eyes a couple of times before focusing them on her.

"How could you not tell me?"

"How could I not tell you what?" He sat up looking surprised and confused. She threw the half empty box of pregnancy tests at him.

"Am I pregnant?" She demanded to know. His eyes dropped, sad and dark. He reached for her hand, but she jerked it away.

"No, love, you're not pregnant," his voice sounded so broken.

"Are you sure?" She asked, feeling vulnerable and nervous.

"Yes, they check for that sort of thing when people are brought into the emergency room."

Dany's anger cooled, of course they would have checked her at the hospital for pregnancy, that made sense. What did not make sense to her was the half empty box of pregnancy tests and the prenatal vitamins in the bathroom.

"Then why..." she started but was not sure what she wanted to ask, "are we... were we trying..."

Jon backed up and rested against the headboard and held his hand out to her.

"Come here, love, let me hold you," he said looking so tired and sad it made her heart hurt. She hesitated. "Please..." he pleaded.

With only another moment of hesitation she crawled onto the bed beside him and he gathered her into his arms. Trying to hide the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach, she pressed her face against his chest. She felt his hand press against her stomach, as if to assuage whatever hurt his words were about to inflict. Had she had another miscarriage, like she had with Drogo? Dany felt her heart pounding.

"About two years ago," he began, taking a deep breath, "you received a diagnosis from your doctor that would make it improbable for us to conceive." He emphasized the word _improbable_ as if he was not sure it was the right word to use. _Improbable or impossible?_ She wondered, feeling her heart shattering whatever the case.

“Then why the prenatal vitamins? Why a half empty box of pregnancy tests?”

“After the diagnosis, we got a second opinion, and the second opinion said that though it would be difficult, if we started taking the necessary steps, it may not be impossible,” Jon said, and began to stroke her hair, “We were both very optimistic so we decided to start trying right away.”

“A year and a half ago?”

He nodded.

“I never got pregnant?”

“No,” came his soft simple response.

When she looked up, she saw that Jon had tears glistening in his eyes. _What did he have to cry about?_ She thought bitterly. Her heart felt numb. She had always wanted children, and when she had lost her sweet first baby she had been devastated and Drogo had blamed her for it. She had never faced the possibility of never having babies of her own. These feelings were so deep and raw she did not know how to process them, and so she sat numb in his arms for what must have been an hour before she whispered.

"How can so many bad things happen to one person?"

She felt his body stiffen, but he made no response.

“I’m sorry, Jon,” She whispered, and sat up and turned her back to him, “I think I would like to be alone for a little while.” He seemed to hesitate, placing a hand on her shoulder as if to urge her to turn back to him, but then he left the room. When the door clicked in place, Dany buried her face in her pillow. Not only had she forgotten their entire history. Now their future was stolen from her too. Dany wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Jon goes to work and gets to talk to Davos


	8. Work (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty short, and I was not as pleased with it as some of my others. But Jon definitely needs to talk to Davos so here it is!

Jon put away the food he had hastily purchased. He had to be at work in an hour. After Dany had woken him to question him about the pregnancy tests then subsequently asked him to leave the bedroom so that she could weep in private, Jon had not been able to sleep. Eventually he gave up trying and went to the grocery store to make sure she had food for breakfast and lunch while he was at work today. He did not imagine he would be much later than lunch in returning but did not want her to have to scrounge through the refrigerator to figure out what to eat if she were hungry.

Jon sighed. He did not want to leave today, especially after their discussion last night. Jon wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her that he would be by her side whether they had 10 children or none. She did not want that, though, that much was evident when she asked him to leave the room last night. She did not want his comfort, she wanted to be alone. Their inability to have children had been a raw wound between them before the accident, but before the accident they had relied on each other in their shared grief. Now she wanted to be alone.

A part of Jon had hoped she would regain her memory quickly enough that he would not have had to have that conversation with her. _Coward_ , he thought. So much had occurred since the accident, he had not prepared himself for the possibility of it being sprung upon him. He did not want to think about other necessary conversations that would need to occur if her memory did not return soon. _What if she never gets better?_ His heart constricted at that thought. He was with her for the long haul, but would she want to stay with him, a veritable stranger, if her memory did not return? Shoving those thoughts aside, Jon quickly sifted through the laundry looking for some work clothes that were nice enough to wear to court. Cursing under his breath he realized he was going to have to go into the bedroom to retrieve a pair of trousers.

As quietly as he could, he crept down the hall, and opened the bedroom door. Ghost perked his head up, but immediately laid it back down upon seeing him enter. Dany was sleeping soundly, her blanket nestled up against her face, and wrapped securely around her.

 _Oh, darling,_ he thought, _I think I could provide you better comfort than that damn blanket_. Then he scoffed at himself. Had he really grown so desperate to be close to her that he was jealous of a blanket? Shaking his head, he opened his dresser drawer and pulled out a pair of pants.

Dany let out a sleepy little moan.

"Jon?" She whispered, groggily. Moving to her bedside, he knelt in front of her. Her eyes were still closed. Very gently, and praying he did not startle her, he stroked her cheek with his finger.

"It's so early," she whispered sleepily, eyes still closed.

"Shh, don't wake, love, just rest," he whispered, and he shivered when she made that sleepy little moan once again, "I'm going to work, but I'll be back as quick as I can." She nodded. He kissed her forehead, then as if it were the most natural thing in the world, he brushed a feather light kiss across her lips and whispered, “I love you.”

           

            Work had not changed. So much had happened in Jon’s life in a week, part of him had expected that work would be changed as well. The receptionist handed him his missed messages, while giving him a sympathetic, or maybe pitying smile. Jon stalked toward his desk, to review the notes he needed in order to be fully present for the court case today. He had been working with Shireen for several months now and hoped after today would provide some relief for the sweet little girl.

“Snow?” Davos’ voice called from his office at the end of the hall. Jon answered his summons, “Close the door, lad.” Jon did.

“I think Shireen’s case is all set, I’ll go and pick her up….” Jon started, but Davos cut him off.

“Sit for a moment.”

Jon sat.

“How’s Daenerys?”

Jon raked his hand through his hair and looked back up at the old man. Davos had not only been his first boss as a social worker, but also one of his dearest mentors, and supporters throughout his career, and in his transition from military service to civilian life.

“Her hand is in a cast, she has some bumps and bruises that are healing, she had a double concussion, and her memory of the last four years is gone,” Jon stated, though Davos knew all of this, and Jon knew that was not what Davos was asking. Davos waited.

“She doesn’t know me, Davos,” Jon said, brokenly. Davos nodded. Jon felt emotions well up inside him, as the two men sat for a moment in silence. Davos always seemed to know what he needed.

“Sometimes she looks at me, smiles or makes a face, and it seems like she does, like she remembers, but then the very next moment, she’s shy, and pulling away from me, and looking at me like she’s never seen me before in her life. I don’t know what to say to her, or how to act, or how to help her,” Jon rambled. Davos nodded again.

“And how are you, Jon?”

“I am just trying to love her, let her know that I am with her for the long haul, we may not be married yet, but in my heart she’s my wife….”

Davos merely nodded again, “But how are you, Jon?”

Jon looked up. Davos’ steely eyes seemed to be boring into him, digging for the truth.

“Well, I’ve certainly been better, Davos,” Jon gave a rueful chuckle. Davos chuckled as well, but then turned serious once again, ever the social worker.

“You look like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders right now, Jon,” Davos began, “That must be heavy.”

Jon choked back some tears. He was determined not to cry in front of his boss.

“I think it is important for you to realize that your love alone cannot heal her.”

Jon started to interject.

“No, you don’t have to respond to that right now, I think it is something you just need to mull over,” Davos stood and patted him on the shoulder, “Marya and I are always here if you need us, and I know there are plenty of people in this town who love you both, if and when you need help all you need do is ask.”

Jon nodded, not trusting his voice.

“Now about Shireen’s case…”

 

            After court Jon had attempted to usher Shireen to the car of her temporary foster family. The little girl timidly clung to his side, begging him not to leave her with strangers. It broke him. The foster family had tried to calm her, and he had tried to soothe her as best he could, but eventually he had to walk away from the car. As they drove away Jon slammed his hand against the concrete column of the court house.

“Shit!” He cursed, not able to hold back any longer. Shireen’s abusive family had angered him, but the little girl’s insistence on clinging to what was familiar to her rather then what was best for her, broke his heart. Usually, Davos gave him cases with surly teenagers who needed a mentor as much as they needed a social worker, and Jon had always assumed it was because of his military background. He did well mentoring young people, and was able to separate their lashing out, from their actual feelings. He thrived in that role. He had not handled many cases with young children, nor cases of such clear abuse. Watching that little girl be taken away with her foster family, who Jon knew were good people, while crying for him not leave her rattled him more than he cared to admit.

“Well if it isn’t, Jon Save-the-World Snow,” said an all too familiar voice behind him.

“Ygritte,” Jon greeted the red-headed police officer who stood staring at him with her hands on her hips. Ygritte was a kind woman, but an incurable flirt, and Jon was in no mood for word games with her. He had taken her on a couple of dates about a year before meeting Dany, though they had mutually agreed that they were not meant to be.

“I did not expect you to be back to work so soon?” She asked, “How’s Dany doing?”

“How did you find out?” He asked, sharper then he meant too. She looked a little hurt.

“Tormund is a talker, he can’t help himself, poor man,” Ygritte chuckled, “The lads at the pub miss the two of you, you should come out sometime.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” Jon confessed.

“Her memory is still…?” Ygritte did not seem to know what to say, but she sounded sympathetic, which he was glad for.

“Yes.”

“Well, if you, or she, need anything, all you have to do is ask me, or Tormund,” She smiled then, “We can’t have you two cooped up in your apartment forever.”

“Thanks, Ygritte,” Jon said.

“Any time, Snow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: "one step at a time"


	9. Steps (Dany)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dany spends the day at home while Jon is at work

“I love you,” The words hung thick in the air as soon as he closed the bedroom door to go to work. Dany felt Ghost lay his head against her. Opening her eyes, she touched her lips. The kiss had been so light, and sweet that it made her want to cry. A daring part of her wondered what it would be like to let Jon Snow kiss her for real. Was she ready for that? She thought of Daario’s kisses, always demanding, leaving her feeling exhausted and used. Kissing had always led to other things with him. Daario used his kisses like currency in a business transaction. Drogo had rarely, if ever, kissed her. Thinking of them now, after Jon’s sweet kiss goodbye, made her feel sick to her stomach. She wanted them banished from her mind, but young loveless years were hard to forget sometimes. Begrudgingly rolling out of the warmth of her bed, Dany picked up the box of pregnancy tests from where they had fallen to the floor, and she felt her heart tear a little bit more. Drogo had been cruel to her until she had gotten pregnant, and then again after she had lost their baby, and then with added resentment. Never had she felt so alone as she did in those days. The cold, hard disappointment in Drogo’s eyes every time he had looked at her after, as if she had been the one to blame. Dany felt a cold defiance spark in her, a spark she remembered fanning into a flame during that time. He was dead now and his memory would not control her. She could not constantly be looking over her shoulder, otherwise she would be forever lost.

            Dany looked at the pregnancy tests again before placing them back in the cabinet under the bathroom sink. Jon’s eyes when she had demanded answers from him last night, had been totally unlike Drogo’s. Instead of disappointment, she saw some strange amalgamation of pain and tenderness. She did not know what to make of it. Mostly, she did not know what to make of him. She wished she had let him stay in the bed with her. She wished she had let him hold her as she cried. He would have held her, and let her cry, and somehow that made her feel weak and vulnerable. Jon had seen her weak and vulnerable so much this past week that it scared her to allow him to see much more.

            Walking into the kitchen, she saw a note from Jon on the table, explaining he had put groceries in the fridge for her, and that he would be home as soon as he could. She had no idea what to do with herself, and so she gathered up her photo albums and poured over them for the thousandth time as she drank her tea. Each turn of the page made her frustrated. How could years of one’s life just vanish from memory? It was almost eerie looking at pictures of herself doing things and being with people when she had no memory of those events, only blank space in her head. She pulled at her hair. _How long would it take for them all to come back_? She wondered, while darker thoughts assailed her as well. _What if they never come back_? Dany picked up, a particularly beautiful picture of her and Jon, perhaps on their first date as they were on the pier at Lake Winterfell. In the picture, Jon was looking at just as he had last night after their date, as he had leaned over her, and kissed her hair. Not for the first time today, she wondered what it would be like to kiss Jon Snow for real, and the thought made her frustrated. Jon was a good man, patient and kind. He did not deserve to be saddled with her forever if her memory never came back. Slamming her photo album closed, Dany stalked down the hall, Ghost at her heels, to pursue a different venture. Looking at the pictures sometimes made her feel tired and guilty.

            Dany began to rummage through their office, she had not spent much time in that room since the accident. The big desk in the center of the room had a chair on each side, and Dany almost rolled her eyes at the sweetness of the idea of her and Jon sharing a desk and working together. They were apparently an unbearably adorable couple, if she could say so herself, and she quite resented that she could not remember. On one side of the desk were her law school books. She opened one and immediately closed it in disgust. Dany did not know how long she had been in law school, or how long she had left, but it irked her that she had missed over a week’s worth of class and wondered if she should ask Jon about going back. _Ask Jon?_ She scoffed at herself, no, she would not ask Jon, she was not a child and she needed to take responsibility for her future again. Jon could not be responsible for her forever… especially if…. She did not even want to think it again, but the thought was there… _Especially if her memory did not come back_. Dany sighed and resisted the urge to throw the law book across the room, the only thing that stopped her was the book was so voluminous she was afraid it might put a hole in the wall.

            Continuing her quest for activities, Dany scanned their book shelf, and pulled a book she thought looked promising, but was interrupted by her telephone ringing. She picked it up and looked at the number. It was not Jon, nor Missandei, so she let it go to voicemail. Afterward, she listened to the message with her heart in her throat. It was their wedding venue, wanting to finalize paperwork, and get their final payment. Dany sighed deeply and Ghost nudged her as if he understood her frustration. Dany opened the closet door at the end of the hall and looked at the garment bag containing her wedding dress. Slowly, as if touching something sacred, and not entirely hers, she uncovered it. It was exquisite and simple, long, elegant and white.

“I would be a nice-looking bride, wouldn’t I, Ghost?” Dany asked the dog, who responded by nudging her hand. She had half a mind to try it on, but the idea that Jon, or Missandei who was back in town this morning, could walk in at any time without warning, prevented her. She thought back to the call from the venue, and a harsh reality came crashing down upon her. They had to cancel the wedding.

 

            At about half past one, Dany was startled awake by the doorbell ringing. She had fallen asleep while reading, wrapped up in her blanket in the recliner. She glanced down at the phone on the table and saw that Jon had left her a message saying he was running a bit later then he expected. Ghost was standing at the door expectantly. Dany peeked out the peephole. There stood a portly young man, about Jon’s age, looking timidly at the door. He was one of Jon’s friends, she remembered seeing a picture of him in her album just this morning, but she did not know his name.

“Hello? D-Dany?” The man stammered on the other side of the door. Dany opened the door, beside the young man stood a pretty young woman, who held a baby, about a year old, in her arms.

“Hello,” Dany said opening the door slowly, Ghost rushed to greet their guests.

“We’ve come to take care of Ghost…if-if you’d like,” The young man said. Dany stared blankly at him, “Walk him, I mean.”

“Jon sent you to check on me, didn’t he?” Dany asked as she ushered them inside. The man blushed, and Dany had to smile at that.

“Well, um…no…well, not exactly, really he-he sent us to check on Ghost.”

“And me?” Dany smiled again.

“Well…. Perhaps, but…but, he-he’s just worried about you,” The man said, “I’m Samwell Tarly, and this is my wife Gilly, and our son Little Sam, and you can call me Sam as well.” Gilly smiled sweetly and the baby cooed at her. Dany was about to introduce herself to them but realized that would be superfluous. Of course, they knew who she was.

“Thank you for coming to um…look after Ghost,” Dany said, trying to put the obviously uncomfortable Big Sam at ease. Sam smiled.

“And we’ve brought things to make dinner for you and Jon,” Gilly held up the bag of groceries in her hand.

“Thank you.”

“It’s no trouble at all, Dany, I know you don’t remember yet, but Gilly and I, and Little Sam, come over quite a lot to see the two of you,” Sam said, his tongue seeming to have loosened a bit, “And Gilly makes the best deer steak stew, and Jon is crazy for it. We figured you both could use some cheering up.”

“I’ve also brought the ingredients to make that cake you like Dany,” Gilly smiled at her and started moving about the kitchen as if she cooked there every day, “Of course, seeing as you don’t remember me, you may not remember it, but that’s alright, it’ll be like a new surprise.” Gilly and Sam’s ease with her memory problem, brought her a comfort she did not realize she needed. They did not pressure her to remember or expect her to know things.

“What have you got here?” Sam asked pointing to the photo albums on the kitchen table, “Trying to jog the memory a bit?”

“Yes,” Dany said softly, “But I don’t think it’s working.”

“That’s alright, one step at a time,” Sam patted her shoulder, “From a few things I’ve read, smells actually stimulate memory as much as images, if not more.”

“Sam’s always reading something in a book, you’ll learn that soon enough Dany,” Gilly said, shaking her head at her husband.

“I could bring you the book if you like, but I am afraid it’s rather dull, and it might be more useful for napping than memory recovery,” Sam chuckled.

“Sam, wash your hands,” Gilly admonished, “I need you to cut the vegetables the way I like them.”

“Yes, sweetling,” Sam kissed her cheek and busied himself in following her commands.

            Once the stew was simmering, Sam went to take Ghost for a walk, leaving Dany with Gilly and Little Sam. Gilly was still busy in the kitchen, setting about making the cake that was promised. Little Sam sat in a baby walker at Dany’s feet. Dany felt like a fist was squeezing her heart as she watched the baby make soft baby noises and kick his chubby little legs. Dany touched the soft downy curls on top of his head and smiled when the little boy smiled up at her. Suddenly, as babies are prone to do, he started crying and Dany startled.

“What’s wrong?” She asked Gilly frantically.

“Oh, he probably just messed his diaper,” Gilly said, “I’ll tend to him once I get this cake batter mixed.” The baby continued to cry. Dany felt helpless.

“Should I pick him up?” Dany asked.

“If you want too,” Gilly said, seeming completely unphased by the child’s tears. Dany blinked between the two of them, “If you don’t mind changing a diaper, his diaper bag is in the living room.” Gilly smiled at her, an understanding smile, that seemed to see into Dany’s heart. Dany nodded. Being mindful of the weakness in her broken hand, she picked up the little boy and carried him into the living room.

“Don’t cry, little man,” Dany crooned at him trying to dig through the diaper with her broken hand, while jostling the wailing Little Sam on her left. She found a diaper and laid him on the floor to change him. His squirmy little legs, however, made it difficult for her take him out of his onesie. The baby was still crying, so she picked him and tried to soothe him. Dany heard the front door being opened, silently thankful that Sam had returned to handle this escalating situation. When Dany turned to ask him for help, however, she was met with Jon standing there returning from work instead of Sam. He had one of those sweet smiles on his face.

“What have we got here?” Jon asked, sitting down on the floor with them, he took the squalling infant from her arms and started talking to him. Little Sam laughed and made to grab at Jon’s hair. She had not been around many infants, but she had always loved children, and she had always wanted a family of her own, but her ignorance of the needs of infants gnawed at her. She knew nothing about babies, how could she be a mother?

“He needs his diaper changed, and, unsurprisingly, I was having difficulty,” Dany held up her broken hand to him in explanation.

“I may not know much about babies, but lucky for both of you, I do happen to know how to change a diaper,” Jon laughed. Dany hugged her knees as she watched Jon take care of Little Sam’s diaper. _Jon deserves a baby_ , she thought sadly, hugging her knees tighter. After he was finished, he picked the baby up and cradled him in his arms. Jon caught her staring at him. Leaning toward her he cupped the back of her neck with his hand and kissed the top of her head, before handing the settled baby to her.

“I’d give you a baby if I could, my love,” He whispered in a choked voice. Dany nodded, and felt tears prick her eyes, but she sniffed them back, not wanting him to see.

 

The Tarly’s ate dinner with them and stayed long enough to play a board game. Dany felt refreshed and happy from their visit. They had accepted her exactly as she was without pressuring her to remember them, or remember things, they were comfortable taking, as Sam said _, one step at a time_. As they locked up, the apartment, and Jon quickly took out the trash, Dany felt herself grow weary. She looked up at him and thought about the kiss he had brushed across her lips this morning.

“Are you sleepy?” He asked. She nodded with a tired grin, “Then we best get you tucked in.” Taking both her hands, he pulled her off the pullout couch, and she playfully groaned, “Come on now, you can’t sleep in my bed there is only room enough for one,” He laughed, and so she stood. Dany thought hurriedly trying to find the right words. She had invited him easily enough last night, and he had stayed in bed with her, until she had kicked him out. Could she simply ask him tonight?

“I think you should sleep in the bed with me… like-like lastnight,” She stammered out. He paused.

“Really?” He looked wary.

“Yes, really.”

"Alright."

They quietly and comfortably got ready for sleep and then simply sat together on the bed. He was reading the newspaper and she was reading the book she had started that morning, they were both bundled in their winter pajamas, as if they were 80 years old. She smiled at how strangely domestic it was, as if they had been doing this very thing their whole lives. She wondered if they had gone to bed this way every night before the accident. Studying his serious face and dark ringlets, Dany felt her stomach flutter. She could grow used to his strong, peaceful presence. _One step at a time_ , Dany repeated Sam’s words to her in her head, and so before she could talk herself out of it, she lay her book to the side and made her move. Quickly, she pressed herself against his side and kissed him. It was soft, a mere peck, and over in moment, and he sat there looking somewhat stunned.

“Dany…” He started to say, but she pressed another soft dry kiss to the corner of his mouth. This time, though, he brought his hand up to cup the back of her neck and caught her lips with his own. She found herself opening her mouth, just enough for him to deepen the kiss. _This was how a kiss was meant to be_ , Dany thought as she sighed into his mouth. His other arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer. Jon had lost himself in her mouth. Dany felt herself slowly sinking into the pillows, her back gradually being pressed onto the bed. He kissed her like he was starving for her, and she clutched at his hair to urge him on. The kisses went on and on, melting her. They were both breathing heavy between kisses, as her hands sank into his hair, and his hand gripped her hip. In one powerful motion, with his lips never leaving hers, she found herself completely beneath him. Her knees drew apart for him, allowing him to tuck his body tightly against hers. His hand moved from her hip to gently grip her bottom, and tilted her hips up to meet his. Somehow it seemed like she could feel him everywhere. Dany gasped at the sharp jolt of pleasure she felt as he pressed against her. Overwhelmed, she broke their kiss for a moment, her eyes fixed on the ceiling, trying to regain her composure. Then suddenly he was gone, his body completely disentangled from hers.

            Dany peeked over at him, trying to catch her breath. He was panting and his eyes were squeezed shut. He had one hand on his chest, as if trying to calm his heart. If she had not been so breathless herself, she may have laughed at how flustered he seemed. They were silent for a few moments, both attempting to process what had just happened between them. Dany shut her eyes and listened to her heart pounding. Suddenly, she felt his hand gently stroking her stomach as if to soothe her.

“Are you alright?” He asked softly. She nodded not sure what to say. Dany was not sure why they had stopped, and yet she was not quite sure how it had started, or if she was even ready for that step. Everything felt fuzzy and uncertain.

“I’m sorry…I… I,” She did not even know what she was trying to apologize for, or why she felt the need to at all. Her voice trembled, and she could not find the strength to open her eyes. She was confused.

“No, no, love, I am sorry, I don’t ever want to pressure you for something you are not ready for,” He confessed, still stroking her belly in that slow, comforting way, “I didn’t mean to…um… get quite so carried away.”

            Dany kept her eyes closed but smiled at his characterization.

“Oh? Is that what that was?” She giggled, softly. She could hear the smile in his voice, when he answered.

“Aye,” He took a deep breath, “Are you not going to be able to look at me now?” He asked, half joking, half serious as she continued to keep her eyes shut. She shook her head, and he chuckled, “I’m not sure what that means, love.”

“I just need a moment,” She whispered, wanting to commit every moment of that kiss to memory to make up for all the ones he had given that she had forgotten. When she let her eyes flutter open, she found him looking at her with so much concern, and love, that it made her want to shut her eyes again, to hide from the raw honesty of his emotions. Their eyes met, and he gave her gentle, apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry.”

“Its alright, Jon, I’m alright,” She took his hand, “It was just a kiss that got a bit, as you said, … carried away. Reaching out she stroked his beard, and he leaned into her hand.

“I understand if you want me to go back to the pullout,” Jon offered.

“No, I want you to stay,” Dany confessed, “You are right, though, I’m not ready…for…for more. But I want you to stay.”

Jon nodded, and pulled the covers up over them, before kissing her head and turning out the lamp.

“Goodnight then, my love.”

“Goodnight, Jon.”


	10. Brewing (Dany)

Dawn spilled light through their bedroom windows, and Dany woke feeling Jon shifting in the bed. She startled a little when he suddenly put his hand on her waist, but then relaxed when he leaned close to her, pressing a gentle kiss into her hair, before whispering in a gravelly morning voice.

“May I put my arm around you?”

Dany kept her back to him, her eyes closed, but smiled and nodded, feeling herself blush furiously, as if she had never woken up in bed with a man before. He draped his arm around her and came a little closer. She could just barely feel his chest behind her. Part of her wanted to snuggle back against him, let him spoon her, and feel all the hard planes of his body against her back, but she refrained, mindful of how quickly that innocent kiss last night had become quite…passionate. _One step at a time_ , she reminded herself. He seemed to have drifted off back to sleep, but Dany remained awake. She contented herself with running her fingers lightly across the knuckles of his hand that rested possessively against her rib cage. If he moved his hand about an inch northward, he could easily be cupping her breast. But he didn’t. Though she did not know Jon well yet, Dany realized as she lay there caressing his hand, that Jon Snow did not use his affections, like Daario did, to pay for her compliance or her favors, or like Drogo, to manipulate and control. Jon’s affections were gentle, undemanding, and painfully genuine. Dany released a shuddery breath, feelings long buried and unwelcome emotions welling up inside her. Jon stirred, hearing her sigh.

“You alright, love? Am I crowding you?” He whispered, in a sleepy voice, obviously barely hanging on to wakefulness. Dany did not want the magic of the morning to dissipate.

“I’m alright,” She whispered, and softly added, “Go back to sleep.” She had to suppress a giggle at the sleepy, boyish nod that she felt against her hair.

            Dany realized she had fallen back to sleep, as she was startled awake by her phone ringing. Groggily, opening her eyes, she blinked a couple times before focusing on the number. It was the same number that had called her yesterday about their wedding venue. Dany suppressed a groan, not wanting to wake Jon just yet, whose warm was still around her, but to her surprise he was awake.

“Who is it?” He grumbled, with his eyes still closed as she glanced over her shoulder at his face that was very near hers.

“No one important,” She said softly, “Jon, it’s ten in the morning, we’ve slept the day away.” He smiled then, and his eyes fluttered open.

“It’s the best I’ve slept in a while.”

She chuckled, “after that pullout bed, I assume sleeping anywhere else would be better.”

“I don’t think it had anything to with the bed,” He said, his eyes dark, and staring into hers. She found herself blushing like a lovestruck fool again, as they both reluctantly began to pull themselves from bed.

Jon stalked across the room to the dresser taking his pajama shirt off as he went, and Dany instinctually averted her eyes. Ghost hopped up onto the bed, taking up Jon’s vacant warm space. Dany patted his head, trying to avoid staring at Jon’s bare back. She had seen his bare chest the first day back from the hospital when she had broken that glass in the kitchen, but somehow this morning felt different. He turned then and noticed.

“Sorry, habit,” He chuckled, “It won’t bother me if you look.” She did look up at him then, he had a sheepish, but cheeky grin on his face, as her eyes swept over his bedraggled hair, to his eyes again, to his mouth, and finally studying the muscles of his chest. The soft fabric of his pajama pants which clung to his hips did little to hide the rest of him.

“You are going to make me blush,” He laughed.

“You said I could look,” She gave him a sassy smirk, but when Dany caught his eyes again, he looked so much like a feral wolf gazing at her, that she was the one blushing. Suddenly, it struck her that he already knew what was beneath her clothes, and that made her strangely uneasy. There would be no surprises to share with him, no secrets to reveal. That made her sad. Seeming to sense the shift in her mood, Jon moved toward the bathroom.

“I’m going to take a quick shower,” He said, giving her a concerned look. She nodded, retreating inwardly, and he paused. Was he waiting for her to explain her thoughts? She did not know, and she could not tell him. Then he was locked behind the bathroom door.

            Dany busied herself with getting dressed in order to avoid any more awkward staring contests. Ghost seemed annoyed by her hurried movements. Not for the first time this week had Dany been struck with the dreadful imbalance in their relationship. He had given her so much of himself the past few days, but it was based on their history together, a history that she could not remember. They could pretend all they wanted that this was normal, and that her memory could come back any day, but the fact of the matter was that it had not come back and did not seem likely too. She could not indefinitely live this way. He would deny it, but she knew he could not indefinitely live this way. Her phone buzzed, Missandei had sent her a text.

“Was going to come by this morning, but morning sickness has me in bed. Will try to stop by when I’m feeling better,” the text read.

Dany felt her stomach tighten, after everything that had happened this week, she had nearly forgotten that Missandei was pregnant. She had told her the day she came home from the hospital. Dany tried to shove down a swell of resentment in her. _Why had Missandei not told her that she could not conceive?_ Instead, she had to find those stupid pregnancy tests, and find out the truth from Jon. She knew it was not fair to be mad at Missandei for such a thing. She and Jon were engaged, of course Jon needed to be the one who told her. Still, she felt wounded, and she wondered if it was because Missandei had not told her, or if it was because Missandei was pregnant and she was not, and likely never would be.

Tears welled in her eyes, right before she heard the shower turn off. Dany quickly wiped any tears away and retreated to the kitchen. After setting a kettle on the stove for tea, Dany stared out the window above the kitchen sink, trying to maintain her composure, not wanting Jon to see her distress. She heard his footsteps behind her, and he placed his hands on her shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze.

“What’s wrong, Dany?” He asked. He could read her so well, and that was just another imbalance in their relationship to add to her growing list of imbalances. She shrugged his hands off.

“Nothing is wrong,” She said, much too cheerfully, but did not turn to face him. He put a hand on her shoulder again trying to urge her to face him.

“What is it?” He asked again, and she shrugged him off again.

“Nothing,” her tone was sharper this time, and so he retreated to pull out some bowls for cereal. Jon was quiet, glancing over at her every so often as if she were a frightened animal ready to snap at him.

“If you feel comfortable with being here alone, I may spend some time up at work tomorrow, I need to do a few things that I can’t manage from home,” Jon said, seeming to see if a she would accept talking to him about something more mundane.

“I’ll be fine, Jon.”

“You could have Missandei, or Sansa, or Gilly and Little Sam, come over…if you wanted.”

“I said I’ll be fine, Jon, stop treating me like a child,” Dany snapped.

“I’m not trying to treat you like a child, I just….”

“Like an invalid then?” Dany heard herself say. Lashing out at him was not fair, she knew, but the words kept tumbling out of her mouth anyway. Jon looked irritated.

“Daenerys,” He said seriously, “I cannot read your mind, if there is something wrong, or if I did something to upset you…or…”

“You did not do anything.”

“Really? Because it sure feels like I did,” He snapped. They were silent for a moment, before a knock startled them both out of their uneasy tension. Jon leapt up to get it. Jon returned with a large package in his hands, which he promptly sat on the counter without opening, before returning to the table.

“What is it?” Dany asked. Jon sighed deeply. He looked tired. Did she make him that tired? Anxiety twisted in her stomach.

“It’s nothing,” He snapped this time. She rolled her eyes.

“It’s obviously something, Jon Snow.”

“Well, the tables have certainly turned, haven’t they?” His voice no longer held the warmth and understanding that she had become accustomed too. She knew all too well, from Viserys, from Drogo, from Daario, everyone had a breaking point eventually. Jon raked both his hands through his hair. Stubbornly, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. He softened a little, but the hard look in his eyes did not leave.

“If you must know, it’s a part of your wedding dress, the veil, I think,” Jon admitted, “the box has the name of the bridal shop you bought your dress at.”

Dany nodded, coldly.

“Is that all you’re going to do? Nod?” Jon snapped, before adding in a softer voice, “Can you please tell me what’s wrong? I thought we were fine this morning,” Jon moved and knelt in front of her chair, taking her hand in his, “If this is about last night, about the kiss, I am sorry, Daenerys, I did not mean to take advantage…”

She interrupted him, “It’s not about the kiss.”

“Dany, I can’t keep playing this guessing game,” Jon stood, and started to pace. Dany’s chair scraped across the floor as she stood too.

“I think we should cancel the wedding,” She said, in an effort to deflect his attention from the real emotions that she was barely keeping under wraps. The lack of shock on his face made her realize that he had already considered canceling it. _Does he not want to marry me anymore?_ The dark thought stung her, though she knew it was irrational and not true.

“We can wait a little longer,” Jon said much more rationally than she wanted him to be, “There is no rush to make long term decisions, it’s only been a week and a half…”

“The wedding is less than two months away, I personally would not consider that a very long-term decision.”

“Then canceling the wedding is what we will do,” Jon acquiesced.

“Fine,” she snapped. She had expected him to fight this more.

“Fine,” He sighed, in exasperation, before turning away from her, “I am going to take Ghost out for a walk.”

            Dany sat down in the living room after he left, her anger dissipating. She had not really been angry to begin with, but anger was easier than facing hard truths. The reality was she had to learn how to live her life again, with or without the memories that she lost. It was not fair to Jon, that he did not feel he could go to work without worrying about her. It was not fair to Jon that her accident had totally hijacked his life. She had become so dependent on his strength this last week and a half, that it terrified her. Dany had not been this dependent on a man, or anyone really, since she had shown up on Viserys’ door after Drogo died. She shook her head. She did not want to think about Drogo, or Viserys. Dany hated feeling so helpless, and there was only one way she could think of that would could rectify this situation.

            Suddenly, Jon returned, and Ghost bounded up to her and laid his head in her lap. Jon came and knelt at her feet. Looking up at her with those deep grey eyes, Dany felt her heart shattering all over again. She hated that she could not give him the life they had before the accident, and she hated that she could not give him the baby he deserved.

“I’m sorry for being so impatient with you this morning, and I am sorry for leaving angry, and not staying to sort it out,” Jon confessed. His eyes glistened.

“I’m sorry too, sorry for being sharp, and…and mean,” She confessed, not quite as good at making up as he was. He gave her small smile and leaned up and kissed her forehead. All was forgiven. But he did not know the thoughts that were still brewing beneath the surface of Dany’s confused heart.

            They were relatively quiet for the rest of the day. Jon worked on paper work for one of his cases, while Dany attempted to read one of her law books. Before dinner, Sansa sent them a text inviting them to Robb’s birthday on Friday, promising that it would be a small affair at the local pub, rather than a Catelyn inspired soiree at the Stark Manor. Jon said he was happy to go if she wanted too, and they settled that they would. That night after takeout and a movie on the couch, they retired to the bedroom together. Dany watched Jon’s every movement, studying the way he walked, and the faces he made as he got ready for bed. He donned his winter pajamas again, and she smiled. She knew he wore them for her sake, she was not naïve enough to believe he slept in them otherwise. Though she knew it was ridiculous, as he had seen it all before, she made him close his eyes so that she could change into her pajamas. She was not entirely convinced that he did not peek after she caught him smiling at her as she scampered over to the bed and climbed in next to him. Laying down next to him, she could not think of what to say. Jon smiled, turning on his side to look at her. He touched her cheek.

“Goodnight, love.”

Dany pushed aside the reality of what tomorrow would bring, “Jon, kiss me good night.”

Jon kissed her forehead and was about to reached to turn the light out.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Jon hesitated. Dany scooted closer to him. He slipped his around her shoulder, cradling her in the crook of his arm. Dany grasped his hair and pulled him to her, almost desperately. Jon pulled away from her frantic kisses. Gently, he disentangled her hand from his hair and laced their fingers together, pinning her hand to the bed.

“Hey, hey what’s the hurry?” Jon whispered. When she started to protest, he leaned in toward her, “Slowly.” Then he kissed her…slowly. When he pulled away from her lips, he kissed her forehead again, and told her goodnight. Once she could hear soft snores coming from him, Dany buried her face in the pillow and cried. The morning would come soon enough.


	11. Hard Truths (Jon)

Jon woke to see Dany studying his face, as the sun rose. As soon as his eyes fluttered open, she leaned toward him and gave him a slow languid kiss. He had to refrain from whimpering as she shyly pressed her body a bit closer. Placing one hand on her hip, he gave it a gentle squeeze, but then smoothed his hand down her side, trying to calm the unsteady rhythm of his heart, as he pulled away from her. Even after her kiss last night, and waking up to another this morning, he could not shake the feeling that something was dreadfully wrong, no matter how much she protested that she was fine. Even after they made up yesterday afternoon and spent the rest of the evening companionably, he could sense that there was something she was not telling him.

Jon glanced over at the clock, he had to be at the office in a little while and needed to get ready for work.

"Go back to sleep, sweetheart, it's still early," Jon said but Dany's bright eyes suggested she was ready to be up for the day.

"Sweetheart? Have you called me that before?" She asked.

"Well you know a little variety in endearments is good," he teased her, "I like to keep you on your toes."

She laughed, but there was a strange look in her eyes that he did not fail to notice, it was a look he could not decipher.

Jon rose from bed and could feel her eyes on him, watching him, as he got ready for the day. On impulse, Jon picked up the box he had stored her engagement ring in and walked over to show her.

"I've had this since the accident, I had it on a chain around my neck for a bit to keep it safe, but... but it's yours," Jon started and opened the box, and her eyes widened, "I didn't... I don't want you to feel pressured to wear it... or… or pressured to make any sort of decisions you are not ready for," Jon stammered as he set it on the nightstand where she could see it, "but I wanted you to have it...if you wanted it."

She gave him that shy nod again that was somehow both endearing and infuriating, it was not a gesture she had been apt to do before the accident and so he never knew how to interpret it. This time he simply nodded in return.

When Jon left for work, she was sitting in the recliner wrapped up in that blanket, drinking tea and examining one of her law textbooks. He told her he would not be gone all day and would be back as soon as he could. She had smiled and accepted a kiss on her cheek but had said very little all morning. Now as he drove to the office, he could not shake the feeling that something was eating at her.

Work simply turned his worries into frustrations. Shireen's abusive parents had gotten out on bail and appealed to a higher court. Shireen was still safely out of their grip, but it infuriated Jon that they were not behind bars yet. Shireen had called his work phone a couple of times since the trial, and her loneliness broke his heart. She wanted what was familiar to her even though it was not good for her. Jon desperately wanted to find the little girl a permanent home, one where she could be loved and cared for, not constantly looking over her shoulder. Jon raked his hands through his hair and dove into his work with zeal attempting not to brood over Dany.

Davos occasionally popped his head out of the manager's office to check on him, as if the older man was not sure if Jon was ready to spend the day back at the office.

"I can deal with some of your case load, Snow, until you and Dany are back on your feet?" Davos offered, for the third time that day. Jon was starting to get impatient.

"I'm fine."

"If Dany needs you at home a little longer..." Davos started but Jon interrupted him.

"Well Dany insists that she is neither a child nor an invalid and that she doesn't need my supervision."

"Still, I'm sure there are wedding things the two of you may need to handle, it would not hurt to take the time..."

"We're canceling the wedding," Jon said, simply. He felt a strange pain in his chest. It was the first time he'd said it out loud since, they had decided yesterday.

"I see," Davos cleared his throat, "and how do you feel about that?"

"It's what she needs."

"That's not what I asked."

Jon looked up at Davos, the older man's eyes leveling him. Jon just shook his head, not sure what to say. He had come to that conclusion before she had even mentioned it, he had been planning to bring it up with her himself, he had been prepared for it, hadn't he? It was what Dany needed right now, what he felt about it didn't matter, did it?

Jon's work phone rang, and he saw it was Shireen again, he would have to call her back. He had to ween her off her attachment to him.

"It's Shireen," Jon explained. Davos nodded knowingly.

"She's struggling to get settled?"

"Yes, she talked to me for nearly an hour yesterday on the phone, while I was working on paperwork," Jon explained, "she was telling me about her school, and I didn't have the heart to cut it short, or tell her that I needed to keep the line free for other clients, so I just let her talk. I think she may be a little too dependent on me."

"Well, people respond to love, especially children," Davos said sympathetically, "she knows you care about her, and it is obvious how much you love the work you do."

Jon nodded.

"But..." Davos was unrelenting, "everyone needs a break sometimes, and you've been through something traumatic."

"I was not in the car accident."

"No, but the woman you love could have died in a car accident just like your mother did," Davos said straightforwardly, "then she wakes up from being unconscious and doesn't remember you, so in a way you did lose her. And you've been going nonstop for a week and a half without a moment to yourself, and from what I can tell, you have talked to no one about how you are feeling about all of this."

Jon could not look at Davos then, he felt unwelcome emotions threatening him. Tears pricked the back of his eyes, which he rubbed away.

"I'm fine."

Before Davos could say anything else, Jon's personal phone buzzed. He looked down to see a text message from Sansa.

 _"Are you with Dany?"_ Was all the text message said, and Jon felt his heart lurch. _"No, at work, why?"_ He responded quickly. Sansa's response was almost immediate. _"I think you should come home, I will meet you there. The two of you need to talk."_

Jon looked up at Davos and allowed him to read the exchange.

"Go, I will call Shireen back for you," Davos nearly commanded and Jon rushed out the door.

 

            Jon parked his car and bounded toward their apartment. Sansa was sitting outside in her own car.

“What’s going on?” He demanded to know.

“I think you need to ask her that,” Sansa said, frowning, “She does not know I’m here yet, I didn’t go up, I wanted to wait until you got here. I’ll let you go up first.” Jon nodded, giving Sansa’s arm an affectionate squeeze then bounded up the stairs to their apartment.

“Dany?” He called, when he unlocked the door and shut it behind him. She appeared a moment later with Ghost at her heels. Ghost bounded over to him and nudged his hand for a pat.

“You are home early,” She said simply, almost coldly. Jon debated telling her that Sansa had called him, but decided against it, not wanting her to feel like she was being babysat.

“Davos sent me home,” Jon winced, it was not exactly a lie. She nodded, which heightened his irritation. Jon saw one of her backpacks sitting against the wall in the hall, and her closet was open, and partially empty.

“Dany, what’s going on?”

He saw her take a deep breath, as if she were steeling herself for a blow.

“I am going to stay with Sansa for a while,” She said, casually as if it meant nothing. Jon felt his heart drop into his stomach.

“What?”

“Don’t act like you didn’t hear me,” her voice was alarmingly soft and controlled. Jon raked his hand through his hair.

“A while? What do you mean, for a while?” Jon questioned, “Like for a night or two? Or longer?”

“Probably longer,” She said it like leaving him was as simple and easy as going to the grocery store. Jon tried to keep his calm, but his heart had begun to race.

“Probably?” He did not know what he was trying to ask.

“Yes, probably longer,” She repeated, but could not seem to look him in the eye. Jon sank onto the couch and rubbed his beard with his hands, trying to comprehend what she was telling him, “Sansa’s apartment is within walking distance to the University, and if I want to start school again, without a car, I need to be closer.”

“Dany, if you think you are ready to go back to class, you can take my car, and drop me to work,” Jon offered, still trying to deny what she was trying to tell him.

“No,” She snapped, now she sounded angry.

“No?”

“No!” The harshness in her voice took him by surprise, “I don’t want to take your car!”

“Well, we will do whatever you want,” Jon said, trying to keep his irritation at bay.

“What I want is to go stay with Sansa for a while.”

Jon was dumbstruck. She had kissed him this morning, kissed him lastnight, and the night before that, and now she was looking at him like she did not want to be anywhere near him.

“Dany, if I have done something to hurt you, or upset you please, please tell me,” He begged reaching for her. She jerked her hand away.

“You haven’t done anything, this isn’t about you, its about me,” Dany snapped.

“I don’t understand,” Jon stood and started pacing, “Can you please help me understand?” He begged, trying to cool the rising panic he felt. He was losing her.

“That’s just it, Jon, I don’t think you can understand,” She said sharply, still refusing to meet his eyes, “When you look at me, you see all of these years of history, all these little things that make you care about me, all of the things that we built a life around…”

She went silent for a moment, and Jon had to bite his tongue not to interject.

“But when I look at you, I see a man, a good man,” Her voice gentled, “That I’ve known for a week and half, who does not deserve to have his life hijacked by an amnesiac girlfriend,” She took a breath, “When I look at you our history is blank.”

Jon felt like someone had punched him in the gut.

“I am grateful for everything you have done for me since the accident, but….”

“Dany, I didn’t do it so you would feel grateful,” Jon tried to quiet his rapidly rising voice, “I did it because I love you, I love you, and that’s what we do for each other, we take care of each other because we love each other!”

“I don’t remember falling in love with you!” Dany shouted and now had tears streaming down her face. She still could not look at him. Jon felt his own eyes starting to water, but he tried to push past it, as he came and stood in front of her, cupping her sweet face in his hands. She met his eyes then.

“You don’t have to leave, we will work this out, you’ll get better…” Jon started to say, but the fire returned to her eyes then.

“Jon, what if I never get better?”

“You will get better.”

“But what if I don’t?” Dany pulled away, backing as far away from him as she could, “The doctor said the further away from the accident I get, the less likely it is that the memories will come back…” “Doctors don’t know shit!”

“They know a far cry more then you do it about it!”

“It’s only been a week and a half!”

“And I’m not any closer to gaining them back!” She shouted, “At some point, we have to move forward, and I have to learn how to be me again with or without my memories!”

“We can do that together, that’s the reason we were going to get married, to do things together, for better or worse!”

“Well, we canceled the wedding,” She said snidely. Jon felt like she had punched him. He could see her trying to put her armor on, it was armor he had not seen in many years. When he had met her four years ago, she had been wearing that armor, keeping everyone and everything at arm’s length. The anger in him cooled for a moment, and he softened, as he saw the girl she had been four years ago who had to become like cold steel in order to survive in her brother’s world, and in Drogo and Daario’s.

She was frightened. Jon took a step toward her wanting to wrap her in his arms, but she took a step back and turned her back to him.

“Please Dany, give us a few more days,” He tried to stay calm, “Tell me what you need from me.”

“I need you to stop smothering me!” She rounded on him, looking like she could breath fire.

“Smothering you?” He shouted back.

“Yes, Jon, smothering me!” She grabbed her backpack and started toward the front door, “Everything, everything its just too much! And I can’t give you the life you remember! And I can’t give you the life you deserve!”

“Dany, what are you talking about?”

“Jon, we need time apart,” she whispered, once again not able to look at him, “we both do, I know you don’t see that right now, but its true.”

“No, I…”

“I am not saying that I don’t ever want to see you, or that I don’t have any feelings towards you, but I need time apart from you,” The words were final, and Jon was crushed. He watched as she snatched that damn blanket off the recliner and opened the door. Then she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Dany moves in the Sansa and Robb's Birthday Party at the Pub


	12. Honesties (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it was a lot of fun to see how passionate everyone in the comments got about the decisions of the characters. Its fun to see everyone so engaged with them. Thanks so much for reading. I hope you all hang in there with me. 
> 
> Be patient with Dany and Jon, they are only human! Haha, without some conflict there would be no story. 
> 
> Also, This chapter and next chapter will be a bit shorter. I was going to add Robb's birthday to the end of this chapter but decided I wanted a Jon POV before the party instead of after, so the party is coming in about two chapters.

The closing of their apartment door felt so final. Dany let tears flow freely down her cheeks as she caught sight of Sansa's car and made her way to it. Sansa said nothing, she did not scold, but Dany could tell that she also did not wholly approve.

Halfway through their drive toward Sansa’s apartment Dany had finally regained a little of her composure.

"I know he's your cousin, Sans, basically your brother," Dany started, nervously.

Sansa said nothing, just kept her eyes on the road.

"I understand if you don't want me taking shelter at your apartment," Dany gave a rueful chuckle, trying to hide how broken she felt. Sansa did not reply just waited.

"I feel so lost, Sansa," Dany finally admitted, her voice cracking a bit. Sansa finally acknowledged her words.

"I know you do, Dany, and I think that may be normal for the types of injuries in your brain, it's quite traumatic," Sansa said. Dany, though, could tell she had something else to say.

"But?" She urged.

"But that doesn't give you the right to lash out at other people," Sansa's eyes were hard and serious, but her tone warm and sympathetic. Dany nodded, feeling a tear slip down her cheek at the gentle but needed rebuke. Dany had said things to Jon she did not mean, in an effort to shield herself from...from... from what she was not sure. Trust had never come easy for her. Her ability to trust had been robbed from her at a tender age. She wondered how long it took the first time for her to learn to trust Jon?

 

Sansa and Dany made it the rest of the way to the apartment in relative silence. Sansa gave her the tour of the apartment, and Dany remembered fondly when she had moved in with Sansa and Missandei all those years ago. She had been living with Viserys at the time, about a year after Drogo had died. Viserys had tried to discourage her from going to University, saying that it was pointless for her, since she would always have the company to fall back on. Dany knew now that he tried to keep her from college in an effort to keep her under his thumb, wanting to control her like he did everyone in his life. When he had refused to allow her to use any of their inheritance for tuition, they had gotten into the most vicious fight they had ever had. He had hit her. Twice. Something in Dany, though, had snapped that day, as she realized she was no longer a frightened little girl, and for the first time she hit him back. By the next day, she had moved in with Missandei and Sansa, and started at university that fall.

“Thank you for letting me stay here, Sansa,” Dany said, sincerely.

“Anytime, my friend,” Sansa gave her shoulder a squeeze, “I’d do anything for you, you know that right?” Dany nodded.

“Jon never told me if I had a job or not? Did I just go to school?” Dany asked as they settled into the living room with some tea. Sansa chuckled.

“Sounds like, Jon. Getting details out of him is like pulling teeth,” Sansa said, “You did work, you were working as a research assistant for one of our professors after class every day, so Jon probably just lumped it all in with ‘law school.’”

Dany smiled sadly, “Yes, he did.”

“You’ve missed two weeks’ worth of class, Dany, I’m not going to lie to you about how hard it’s going to be to catch up,” Sansa said, realistically, “But after you called this morning, I emailed some of our professors, they know you are basically my sister-in-la…” Sansa trailed off, seeming to realize the implications of what she was saying.

“Its okay, Sans, you can say it.”

“Well, our professors know that we are close, and they are willing to help you catch up if you are willing to put forth the effort, and I will help you too, as much as I can,” Sansa said, “You are very smart, Dany, I know you can do it, but its not going to be easy, especially if the amnesia has affected any parts of your semantic memories.”

Dany chuckled, “Semantic memories?”

“You know, ‘learned’ memories? I did some light reading on amnesia this past week, so I could better understand what you and Jon were going through,” Sansa looked quite pleased with herself, which made Dany chuckle. Sansa’s phone buzzed, and Dany felt her heart constrict. _Was it Jon?_

“It’s Robb,” Sansa was quick to explain, “I hope you won’t be angry, but I told Robb. I didn’t want Jon to be alone…”

“Its alright, Sansa, I’m not angry, Jon needs support too.”

Sansa nodded and quickly responded to Robb’s text.

“I guess, in the spirit of full disclosure, I should also tell you that I told Missandei, and she is on her way over right now,” Sansa said, wincing as if she expected Dany to be upset.

“It’s alright, Sansa, I don’t know where I would be without the two of you,” _Probably still fighting with Viserys,_ Dany thought ruefully. Sansa and Missandei had always been a safe place for her.

 

Missandei appeared a little while later. Dany thought she looked a bit angry, which was a little intimidating. Missandei’s anger was not easily provoked. She did not ask any questions, though, and the three girls set about making dinner together, and while they ate, they plotted a game plan to help Dany get back on her feet. Tomorrow, she would return with Sansa to school and talk to her professors and meet with her boss about possibly returning to work the next week. Dany felt overwhelmed and intimidated, thinking about all the strangers she would have to talk to tomorrow, but she knew this was what she had to do. Even if she never recovered her memories, at least she could say that she did not give up on law school. She had nothing else.

After they cleaned up, and Sansa went to bed, Missandei and Dany sat up for a little longer.

“I’m sorry, I did not come to see you when I got back,” Missandei said softly.

“It’s alright, you have a life and a husband, you cannot be constantly worrying over me.”

“I understand if you don’t want to talk about it,” Missandei started, as she offered to braid Dany’s hair for her, “But would you tell me what happened?”

Dany sighed, but nodded.

“I should not have been so cruel, but anger is much easier than honesty sometimes,” Dany confessed, “Jon was so patient and kind with me all week, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never did, even when I could tell that I had made him mad.”

“Jon is a patient person,” Missandei agreed, but let her continue. Dany told her about their walk to get cappuccino, and the party at the Starks and her subsequent meltdown.

“We went on a date on Sunday night,” Dany said, “And I let him sleep…well at least part of that night in the bed with me.”

“You did?”

“Just sleep….” Dany said, and suddenly she felt like she couldn’t breathe, “And that night is when everything started to go wrong.”

“What happened?”

Dany felt tears in her eyes and tried to brush them away. _Gods, she was so tired of crying_.

“Missandei, why didn’t you tell me I couldn’t get pregnant?” Dany’s lip quivered and she hated how small her voice sounded. Missandei took a deep breath.

“He told you, did he?” Missandei asked. Dany nodded and told her about the pregnancy tests, “Well, to begin with I did not feel like it was my place to tell you. But also, Jon and I never talked about it, I think we both hoped your memories would come back before we had to cross that bridge.”

“We’d been pretended that nothing was wrong, that everything would get better within a few days,” Dany said, “But even if I do get my memories back, I still could not give him a baby.”

“There is no guarantee that you could not give him a baby,” Missandei said firmly.

“We’ve been trying for a year and a half.”

“I know, Dany,” Missandei said, “But Jon’s love for you is not dependent on whether or not you can give him a baby, and if you really want a family there are always other options, in Jon’s line of work, I’m sure he knows plenty of children who need good, loving homes.”

“I know,” Dany whispered, “Its just I…I kept seeing Drogo’s eyes whenever I thought about it. He had looked at me with so much disappointment, and so much disgust after I lost…. Then when Jon told me, he looked so sad, I was afraid that one day…one day he would come to resent me, and be disappointed with me too, just like Drogo was.”

“Jon is not Drogo.”

“I know, well at least I think I know,” Dany turned to face Missandei her heart in her eyes, “But, you see, Drogo was sweet to me too, before we married…. And-And so with Jon…I just, I just…I got scared.” _There it was_ , Dany thought, _the confession_.

“And so, you were going to leave without telling him?” Missandei asked gently.

“Well, no…well, yes, I guess I was,” Dany huffed, now feeling irritated with herself. Her flight from their apartment this afternoon had not been one of her more rational decisions of the day.

“I knew we needed space, I knew I needed to figure out how to live my life again without depending on him for everything,” Dany said, “but I should have talked to him…I should have explained.”

Missandei nodded.

“I am sure he hates me now,” Dany pulled her blanket around her that smelled like Jon, “And you and Sansa are disappointed in me, and I sort of hate myself right now.”

Missandei chuckled and kissed her cheek before rising to leave.

“Sansa and I are going to help you get back on your feet, and as for Jon, well, I don’t know how that will pan out but I do know, Jon is not one to bend so easily,” Missandei opened the front door and smiled at her, “I know he will respect your space because that is who he is, but I doubt he’s given up all hope of you.”

Dany smiled.

“He and I were happy together before, weren’t we?” Dany asked, Jon had told her they were, but she needed another reassurance.

“Yes, you were very happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Jon POV, "unhealthy men break things, but healthy men build things," or Robb and Ned help Jon get some perspective


	13. Help (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am always a little less confident when I write Jon's POV, but it here is, it picks up right after Dany walked out the door. 
> 
> I hope it is thought provoking

Jon had the good grace to wait until Dany closed the door before he put his fist through the wall with a ferocity that surprised even him. Afterward, he felt numb, and so he took Ghost for a walk, and proceeded to return to work, pretending like nothing had happened. Robb had called him twice and texted him. He would respond later. He had other things to take care of, Shireen needed him, and other clients as well, and he needed to be at work. As soon as he sat down at his desk, he was set upon by Davos.

“How did it go?” The older man asked.

“How did what go?” Jon countered.

“I believe you do know of what I speak,” Davos said, a twinge of impatience in his voice. Jon glanced at Davos then back at his work.

“Dany decided that she needs to move in for awhile with Sansa,” Jon stated, plainly still mulling over the strange hollow feeling in his chest. Davos scratched his chin in the way he did when he was thinking.

“Indefinitely, I take it?” Davos asked.

“Indefinitely,” Jon confirmed, his voice tight and sharp.

“Did the two of you discuss this like rational adults, or like impulsive children?” Davos asked. Jon glared at him with half a mind to tell him to mind his own bloody business, but Jon knew Davos meant well, and so he bit his tongue.

“There was no discussion,” Jon said simply, “We shouted, and like a fool, I begged her to stay, and then she left, just as she intended to do anyway,” Jon explained, “Not very complicated I suppose.”

Davos stared at him as if waiting for him to elaborate, so Jon seized the opportunity and changed the subject.

“Did you talk to Shireen?” He asked.

“I did,” Davos said, “We had a pleasant chat about her latest history lesson and how her foster mother let her lick the spoon after making cookies last night.”

Jon’s mouth twitched in a smile. Shireen was a resilient little girl.

“I want to find her a permanent home as soon as I can,” Jon said.

“As long as you know that it is not your responsibility to save the world, Jon Snow,” Davos said, “Now I want you to finish whatever needs finishing here this afternoon, then go home and I don’t want to see your face anywhere near this office for the next two days at least, I will even confiscate your work phone if I have too,” with that said Davos left him to lose himself in saving the little bit of the world that he could.

           

            When Jon got home, he grimaced at the hole he put in the wall this morning, as he made his way to the kitchen to heat some leftovers for dinner. Ghost padded beside him the entire time as if the dog could sense his underlying distress. After eating dinner, unloading the dishwasher, and a failed attempt to rearrange the living room furniture, he went to throw away some newspapers on the kitchen table. Underneath, he found Dany’s photo albums that she had been pouring over the last week. Jon sighed deeply, a dark part of him wondering why they had even tried. He casually started to flip through the top album, as he did, one blank space in the book made him halt. Dany had taken the photo of their first date at Winterfell pier with her to Sansa’s. Jon chuckled at the strangely, sweet gesture, not quite sure what to make of it. Not one to torture himself over the past, however, he closed the album and went to their room. His room. Exhausted, he collapsed on the bed, which still smelled like her, and slept soundly through the entire night, not stirring once.

            Jon woke with a start to a loud banging on the door. It was nearly noon.

“Seven hells!” Jon cursed, and dragged himself from bed. He never lazed in bed so long, not since he was a teenager at least. The knocking continued, and poor Ghost, who was likely about to wet himself, paced around the room.

“I’m sorry, boy, come on,” Jon scratched behind his ears, “Lets see who is beating the door down.”

            Jon threw open the door ready to give the offending door beater a piece of his mind. Robb’s cheerful face greeted him, and Jon wanted to shut the door again. Robb ushered himself in, and his eyes immediately landed on the hole in the wall, and the skewed furniture from the abandoned rearrangement. He chuckled, and Jon had to refrain from rolling his eyes at the man, who was both the brother he never had and his best friend.

“Well, it puts my mind at ease knowing you are handling this in a healthy way,” Robb teased him, giving his shoulder a rough pat. Jon said nothing, not finding Robb’s giddiness amusing.

“Put some pants on, and go get in my car,” Robb commanded, as if he ruled the North.

“Robb, I’m in no mood…”

Robb chuckled, which only irked Jon more.

“I need help putting some shelves together for mom and dad,” Robb said as he grabbed Ghost’s leash, and picked up an apple from the kitchen table and threw it to Jon for breakfast.

“You want to put shelves together…today? On a Thursday?”

“How are Thursdays any different from any other day?” Robb responded.

“Don’t you have a job to go too?”

“Don’t you?”

Jon stared at his cousin, but Robb stared right back completely unaffected, his smile fixed.

“Listen, Snow, I can’t leave you here because you are liable to put another hole in the wall, and I’m not going to help you fix two,” Robb picked up Jon’s shoes from beside the door and threw them at him, “Now, really, go put on some pants because you’re making me uncomfortable.”

Jon chuckled, and did as he was bid.

           

            As they left, Robb informed him that they had to stop by the lumber yard first, and so with Ghost padding by their side, they began to collect the materials they needed. Jon soon began to realize the magnitude of Robb’s shelf building scheme.

“Robb you said you were putting shelves together, not building them from scratch,” Jon grumbled, though he was growing more amused than annoyed.

“Dad can put shelves together from a kit by himself, why would he need us?”

Jon shrugged.

“Unhealthy men break things, Snow,” Robb teased him, “But healthy men…healthy men, we build things!”

Jon laughed and shook his head in exasperation but followed Robb’s lead as if they were thirteen again.

            By the time they reached the Stark home, Robb had coaxed Jon into a better humor, and even got a few more laughs out of him, which Robb declared to be an act of the gods. Aunt Cat had a large, cold lunch set out for them, after which they set up their work space in the backyard, as they had done almost every weekend when they were young. Jon did not remember how the two of them had come to acquire their woodworking hobby as children, but those were some of his best childhood memories. Robb had always been fond of power tools when they had built things together, but Jon had always been the better craftsman. Jon was more patient then Robb, willing to take the extra time to put thought and detail into each piece. Several years ago, Jon had built Dany a jewelry box, but it unfortunately was lost when her car got broken into during the move from her place into his. She had been quite devastated about it, but he had always said that he would build her a new one. He never did, as at the time he was finishing up his social work degree and starting his new career, and never found the time. Jon cringed at the cruel irony, that he could build her another and she would not even know the difference now.

“Get out of that brooding head of yours, Snow, before you take someone’s hand off with that power saw!” Robb laughed, and Jon found himself laughing too.

 

            Long after Robb had lost interest in the project, as he was apt to do after the basic assemblages were finished, Jon remained in the backyard, sanding and staining, and carving the little flourishes into the corners of the wood that he knew his Aunt Cat would love.

“You’ve always been good at this,” Ned’s voice startled him out of his thoughts. Jon looked up to see his uncle running his hands along the smooth wood, his fingers tracing the intricate details which Jon’s carving knife had left behind, “You’ve always been the patient one, of all my kids, the one willing to put in extra time where it was needed, and always willing to sacrifice your wants and needs for the sake of the others.”

Jon found himself unable to meet Ned’s eyes. Ned was quiet for a moment before he sat down in the grass next to him.

“First your father…” Ned began. Jon shifted uncomfortably.

“Then your mother…” his uncle continued, and Jon felt tears prick his eyes.

“Then your military career after you got hurt…” Jon wished Ned would stop there, as he sensed where this was leading.

“It did not seem fair that you should have to sacrifice any more, then life saw fit to make it difficult for you and Dany to have a baby…” Ned paused, and gently put his hand on Jon’s shoulder, “Then life demands you give up Dany. It doesn’t seem fair that you should have to keep on sacrificing, but I guess life is cruel that way sometimes.”

Jon nodded. _Why was he saying these things?_

“Dany has lost more,” Jon said, trying to deflect attention from his own feelings which were dangerously close to spilling over. He felt his heart was exposed like an open electrical wire, and he just wanted to cover it up before he got hurt.

“Maybe, but that does not make your losses invalid.”

Silence hung heavy in the air between them for awhile as the sun sank behind the clouds.

Finally, Ned broke the silence, “Robb said you had just woken up when he came and got you this afternoon, did you have a rough night last night?”

Jon shook his head, he was actually ashamed at how well he slept without Dany there. He had not woken up every few hours, concerned that she might be in pain, or might need something that she could not do for herself. Last night, he had slept more soundly than he had the whole week and a half since Dany came home from the hospital.

“I slept quite well actually,” Jon admitted in a quiet voice. Ned nodded, seeming to understand.

“When Robb was first born, I remember Cat used to jump awake at night to every little sound,” Ned started, “And when your grandfather was sick, and he lived with us right before he passed, Cat and I both would be startled awake afraid he would need something in the night, it is something normal that happens to caregivers.”

“I am not Dany’s parent, and she was not incapacitated,” Jon said simply, raking his hand through his hair.

“No,” Ned said, “But you became responsible for her in a different way than you ever had been before, when you brought her home from the hospital.”

Jon nodded considering his words.

“There is no shame in needing help, son.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I would like to put to rest any fears that either Jon or Dany will go crawling back to the other. As this is a story about love not groveling, everyone can rest assured that neither of them will be crawling back to the other. 
> 
> My goal in starting this fic was to practice my ability to capture complex human emotion, which at times I think I've done more successfully than other times, but hopefully the complexity is coming across.


	14. Work (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I did not do quite as well with this chapter as I wanted, but I was a little blocked. Its a more transitional chapter that kinda sets up the next phase of the story, so hopefully it at least serves its purpose.

Dany stared at the classroom feeling mounting terror.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” Sansa asked.

“Sansa you have class too, you can’t skip because of me,” Dany assured her, “I have to be able to do this.”

Sansa nodded and like a mother fussing over her child on the first day of school, she fussed over Dany’s backpack and tucked a stray curl back behind her ear.

“Do you have your class schedule?”

“Yes,” Dany held it up too her.

“Do you have your campus map?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have all the supplies you need?”

“Sansa,” Dany gave her a teasing smile, trying to put on a brave face.

“I’m sorry,” Sansa chuckled, “I just feel like I’m leaving you defenseless in the great unknown.”

“It’s just Advanced Business Law,” _How hard could it be?_ “I’ll be alright, Sans, and I have my phone. I’ll call you or Missandei straight away if I can’t handle things.”

“Or Jon,” Sansa insisted.

“Jon doesn’t want me to call him,” Dany insisted, not even sure she could face him if she did.

“I just want you to know that if you get into trouble or feel overwhelmed, and you can’t get a hold of Missandei or me, there is a third option, if you really need him, Jon will come, even if it wasn’t you, he’s just like that,” Sansa said, with a coy smile, “I know you don’t remember, but the two of you were friends before you were lovers.”

“Can you please not use the term _lovers_ , from what everyone tells me Jon and I were in a committed relationship not a torrid, extramarital affair,” Dany chuckled, though she could not help but let her mind drift to those blank months between meeting Jon and when they had begun to date. They had not talked about them much, “I’ll be fine, Sans.”

“Alright then, I’ll leave you alone, good luck!”

            Dany stood alone to the side of the doorway as other students began to trickle in, some of them gave her strange looks and she wondered how much any of them knew of her personal life.

“Welcome back, Miss Targaryen,” Dany turned to see whom she assumed was the professor.

“Thank you,” Dany said softly, feeling nerves eating away at her stomach. _I don’t think I can do this_ , she began to feel a rising panic take hold, _this was a mistake_. The world felt like it was closing in on her, but just before she had the opportunity to make for the door and run, a cheerful voice interrupted her escalating panic before it got the better of her.

“Daenerys, what are you doing standing over there?” called the young woman with dark hair across the room. Dany forced her feet to move. _One step at a time_. She sat down beside the girl, who was now looking her broken hand.

“Professor Varys said you had been in a car accident,” The girl mused.

“Is that this professor?” Dan asked.

“No, silly, Professor Varys is our boss,” The girl laughed as she opened a notebook, “Where is your head today?”

Dany had to laugh at the strangeness of it all, “You have no idea.”

 

            Dany had two long lecture classes and by the time they were over she was exhausted, her head was pounding, and she wanted a nap. She pressed on, however, as she still had to stop by the office of Professor Varys and determine what hours he wanted her to work next week when she came back. Tentatively, she knocked on his office door.

“Enter,” Came a calm voice. Dany entered to a room scented with incense and a strangely clad bald professor tucked behind a desk pouring over a book. He did not look a thing like the other two straight-laced law professors she had met, or rather re-met, today.

“Ah, Miss Targaryen, I’ve been expecting you,” He said without looking up from his book, “Your definitely red-headed…sister…or at least that’s who she claimed to be… informed me that you were still interested in your employment here.”

Dany swallowed, she had not anticipated such an oddly, cold reception.

“Yes, sir, I am very much so, if…if… the position is still available.”

“I had expected to hear from your moody husband about your return,” Professor Varys still had not looked at her.

“Husband?”

“Yes, a stocky, ill-tempered little fellow, I am sure you remember.”

“Jon.”

“Yes, that was his name.”

“Jon was…is…I guess… my fiancé,” Dany stammered not sure how to explain her situation, or how much Professor Varys knew about her condition. He looked up at her then and gave her a brief once over before returning to his book.

“I don’t care for phone calls or visits from the relatives… or non-relatives… of my students.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I shall expect you here then after class on Tuesday, and Irri can get you reacquainted with the projects we are working on.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You may go.”

Dany turned to go, trying to be brave. Varys stopped her.

“Stop by my secretary’s desk on your way out, Miss Targaryen, I have taken the liberty of compiling a folder of information for you which I should hope you will put to good use.”

“Yes sir.”

Dany escaped the strange man, and the strange office and made her way to the secretary who already had the folder ready to present to her. Overwrought with curiosity, Dany opened the folder, and tears filled her eyes as she found profiles on three top rated therapists who specialized in trauma and brain injuries. Each profile had client reviews stapled to the back. Looking back toward Professor Varys’ door, she smiled, and was suddenly looking forward to work on Tuesday with the odd man.

            Sansa picked her up and the two of them walked home together, and while they waited for a pizza to arrive, they read over the contents of Professor Varys’ folder.

“Well this woman, specializes in traumatic brain injuries, which of course is good and necessary for what you are going through,” Sansa started, before picking up the profile of another therapist, “But this guy, Dr. Lannister, deals not only with traumatic brain injuries…but also…” Sansa did not seem to want to say it so Dany took the paper from her hands. _Domestic abuse recovery_ , she read, and felt her stomach tighten. She had gotten over the trauma of her youth, hadn’t she? Did she need to rehash every old wound?

“I’m really tired, Sans, I think I need to think these over, before I make a decision,” Dany said, wanting to delay the decision if she could, at the moment she did not feel capable of making firm decisions. The doorbell rang and Sansa popped up to get it, expecting the pizza delivery.

“Marge!” Sansa exclaimed, excitedly. Dany perked her head up. _Who was Marge again_?

“Your brother, Sans, is just a doll,” Dany heard this Marge person say. _Were they talking about Robb_? _Or Jon?_ The two girls appeared in the kitchen where Dany was sitting.

“Dany, oh, its so good to see you!” The girl with honeyed colored hair threw her arms around Dany, taking her off guard.

“Um…its good too see you,” Dany patted her shoulder, not sure what to say.

“Marge give her some space, will ya?” Sansa said. Margaery stood and put her hand on Dany’s shoulder.

“I’m Margaery Tyrell, and Robb is my boyfriend,” she explained. Dany nodded. “You both are coming to the party tomorrow, right?”

“I am, Dany do you want to go?” Sansa asked, hesitantly. She and Jon had talked about going but that was before everything had gone awry. _Jon doesn’t want to see me,_ she thought, and was not entirely certain that she was ready to see him.

“No, I should probably stay home, I have a lot of catching up on school work to do,” Dany said, thinking that such a thing would dissuade Marge, but it was not to be.

“Come on, Dany, I know you can’t remember how things were before, but the party would not be complete without you,” Marge said.

“Don’t pressure her…” Sansa started but Dany interrupted her.

“I don’t want to cause a scene, Jon and I, well on Wednesday when I left…”

“He punched a hole in your dry wall? Yes, I know,” Marge chuckled.

“He did what?” Dany and Sansa said at the same time. Marge now looked sheepish.

“Um, well, Robb told me earlier on the phone that Jon punched a hole in the dry wall of your apartment.”

“He must have done that after I left,” Dany said softly, “Is he alright?” She saw Marge and Sansa share a strange conspiratorial look, that she could not decipher.

“Oh, he’s fine, don’t you worry your pretty little head over it,” Marge said, “And Robb is going to help him fix it this weekend, so you two won’t lose your security deposit.” Dany nodded again.

“As for the party, I know it may be uncomfortable for the two of you too see each other right now, but you may as well get it over with, your lives are too intertwined right now to avoid each other forever,” Marge said.

“Dany, you do not have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Sansa started, “But Jon is not one to cause a scene, and I think the pub is big enough for you each to stay on our respective sides if you wanted too.”

Dany nodded, “I’ll think about it.”

 

            In the end, she had not been allowed much thinking as the next day Marge came over like a whirlwind, picked out outfits for her and before she even knew what was happening, they were in a car on their way to Robb’s party. Margaery was one of those types of people whose enthusiasm was contagious, but whose presence commanded any room she walked into. Dany could not decide if she loved or hated that, but either way she found herself sitting at a table at the pub for Robb’s birthday with Sansa, Missandei, and Marge. There were quite a few people in the pub, some they knew, some they did not, but as promised it was a casual affair and Dany had not been ambushed by any well -meaning ignoramuses or any who were entirely ignorant of her condition.

“Arya is no longer coming because she and Gendry have decided to spend their first Christmas as a couple in the south with Gendry’s family,” Sansa said, as Dany refocused her attention on the conversation at hand, “Every year we try to take a trip as siblings, well us older siblings anyway, for about a week just to get away,” Sansa explained to Dany.

“This year we are all going up to my family’s condo near the Castle Black Ski Resort, the week before Christmas,” Marge said, “And your hand should be well enough by then, Dany, that you shouldn’t have any trouble skiing.”

Dany’s head whipped around to face her. _Why would Marge expect her to go on their sibling trip?_

“You don’t actually think we could leave you, behind do you?” Marge said. Dany smiled sadly, as the realization washed over that they thought of her as family, as their sibling. No one had ever thought of her as such before, no one had really thought of her much before.

“You don’t have to feel pressured to come,” Sansa explained softly, always softening the bluntness of Marge, “But I think once this semester is over it will be good for you to have some fun.”

“but…” Dany started. _What about Jon?_

As she could read her mind, Sansa said, “Originally of course, you and Jon were going to share a room, but since Arya’s not coming anymore, you can share my room.”

Dany felt strange stirrings of emotions in her heart. Part of her wanted to throw her arms around Sansa and beg her to let her stay part of their family forever, but another part of her was wary. _What if Jon did not want her there?_

“I will think about it,” Dany said softly, and Missandei gave her a concerned look.

“Dany, you should ask Jon to dance,” Marge suddenly said, like the loose canon that she was. Sansa and Missandei gasped at her boldness. Dany said nothing, only glanced discreetly in Jon’s direction.

“He looks so sad,” Marge said. Sansa shook her head in exasperation.

“Well, in Dany’s defense, that really is just the way Jon’s face looks,” Sansa said as only a sister could.

“I’m going to get some water,” Dany excused herself, hoping they would not think her rude, but Margaery’s suggestions, though, well meant, made her feel slightly overwhelmed. A part of her did not really believe that there were so many people in her world now that actually cared about her. In the years leading up to her “missing years,” Dany had only had Sansa and Missandei, and she had never interacted with a family that loved and cared about each other the way the Starks seemed too.

            Just as Dany made it to the bar to retrieve a glass of water, a woman with wild red hair sidled up to her.

“Dany, I know you don’t remember me,” her voice was somehow both kind and hard.

“No, I’m afraid not,” Dany was in humor for this.

“My name is Ygritte, we were all friends before,” she said, “Jon and I dated awhile back before you.”

“You want him back is that it?” Dany snapped, she was tired from a long day of catching up on her studies and did not care to have a conversation with a stranger about her strained relationship with Jon, if what she and Jon had could even be called a relationship anymore.

“Now that’s the Dany, I know,” Ygritte, to her credit, laughed at Dany’s possessive tone, “No, Jon and I decided a long time ago, that we were not meant to be and that was for the best. He’s all yours. But that month I was with him, was probably the gentlest relationship on my heart that I had ever had. My point is Jon is not out to break your heart.”

Dany was quiet.

“Now, I’ve said what I needed to say, and now I’m going to go drink some more because I am not on duty tonight or tomorrow,” with that Ygritte marched away, leaving Dany staring at her wake.

            Dany glanced over at Jon who was laughing with Robb, in that bashful way, she had before observed. She did not know if she was ready to speak to him yet, or him to her. Though Marge swore she saw him watching Dany, Dany had not seen him look her way once. She looked back up at him and noticed that he was now sitting alone. A strange streak of boldness struck her, and so she decided that she may as well face him. When she reached his table, her words stuck in her throat, and she looked into his eyes, now so guarded when before they had been open and vulnerable.

“Marge suggested we should dance,” Dany said softly, and then winced at her terrible choice of words. Jon glanced at her then over at Marge and Sansa.

“Marge and Sansa are sticking their noses where they don’t belong,” Jon said. Dany had to chuckle at that.

“Yes, yes they are.”

His eyes seemed to soften then, and so he put down his drink and took her hand, “Alright then, I do have to warn you though, if you could remember how poorly I dance, you’d probably regret asking.” Out of the corner of her eye, Dany could see Sansa and Margaery whispering conspiratorially, while Missandei watched her with concern in her eyes.

            Jon put his hands on her hips, and she put her hands on his shoulders, and true to his word he was a poor dancer, but Dany could hardly complain as she stepped on his foot at least twice in the first two seconds. She felt like a baby learning to walk, as she struggled and stumbled over words in her mind, wanting to apologize but not knowing what to say, not knowing how to express the foreign feelings inside her. She looked up at him, and when he felt her eyes on him, he looked down at her. When he looked at her like that it felt as though he could see straight through her. It unnerved her. Perhaps this had been a bad idea, her mind reeled, as he continued to look at her with that dark, knowing gaze. Overwhelmed, she started to step away from him, but gently he moved his hand to the small of her back, keeping her there in the dance with him.

“It’s okay,” He whispered, “One step at a time, love.”


	15. Sam (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks so much for all your comments! Your support makes this story a lot of fun to write. 
> 
> Unfortunately, I did not have much time to write today, so this update is short. Where the last chapter transitioned Dany's POV into the next phase of the story, this chapter transitions Jon's POV into the next phase. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

“One step at a time, love,” was all Jon could think to whisper, as he gently halted her retreat. He watched her internal struggle as they danced. What prompted her to come and ask him to dance was beyond him. She had said Marge suggested they dance, but Daenerys Targaryen was not one to be told what to do by anyone, even in her current fragile state. He could tell she wanted to say something, though he did not know what. She looked lost. Frightened. He could not tell if it was because of him, or because of the demons of her past, demons which were more present with her now since she had lost the good memories they had made together in the last four years. Jon would not ask though, she had made it quite clear, that for now at least, his care was not welcome. So instead of trying to speak, he thought of the precious few other times they had danced together in their life, both had been hopeless at it, clinging to each other like clumsy children, but content to be in each other’s arms. Jon felt the numbness in his chest that he had felt yesterday, be replaced by a dull ache. When the song ended, he swiftly released her and offered her a half smile.

“You had better get back to Marge and Sansa, before we give them more to gossip about then we intended.”

She chuckled and nodded.

“They are rather incorrigible,” she said. He agreed and watched her go.

            Jon made his way back toward his friends but could not find the festive spirit needed to engage in any of the party games, and so he took a seat at the bar next to his big burly red-headed friend, Tormund.

“So, Snow, have you and your woman made nice yet?” Tormund playfully slapped him on the back with such a force Jon nearly spilled his drink. Jon raked his hand through his hair but did not respond.

“You know when I was married, me and my woman quarreled furiously,” Tormund continued, “But we always had a good time of it making it up to each other in the sack afterward.” Tormund laughed and chugged his beer. Jon took a swallow of his own drink. He had no desire to hear of Tormund’s escapades, in, as he said, _the sack_. Jon had met Tormund when he had begun dating Ygritte all those years ago. Tormund and Ygritte were related somehow, but Jon could never remember how. Though Tormund was a good deal older, they had become odd and fast friends.

“I did not know you were ever married, Tormund.”

“Aye,” Tormund said, “A right pretty lass she was, with the temper of a bear. We married quite young and we were wed for near on twenty years.”

“What happened?”

“She got very sick and passed.”

 _Did happiness always end like that?_ Jon mused, dismally, “I’m so sorry.”

“Its been ten years ago now,” Tormund opened ordered another beer, “Don’t talk about it much meself, but I wanted ya to know that I know it’s difficult losing someone you love.”

Jon nodded his thanks. As Tormund went uncharacteristically silent, Jon chanced a peek in Dany’s direction, hoping she would not notice. He had not lost her, and yet he was lost to her mind. Jon still held on to the tenuous hope that her memory would come back, but there had been an odd resignation in her when she left their apartment, as if she believed those memories were lost to her forever. That frightened him.

 

            The day after Robb’s party, Jon had spent the morning nursing a hangover. He was not usually one to over imbibe, but incessant worries plaguing his mind led to the indulgence which he regretted for nearly the entire day. By Sunday, Jon was itching for work, and for activity to dull the thoughts that had plagued him all weekend. Sam had called and offered to bring him some lunch that Gilly had made, and so Jon tossed Ghost’s toy up and down the hall of the apartment, restless and ready to return to work on Monday, while he waited for Sam. It was not a long wait.

“Gilly told me to make sure you were eating real food and drinking water,” Sam told him with a chuckle as they sat down to lunch.

“Gilly’s sweet, but I’m fine Sam, really,” Jon said, taking a bite. Sam looked oddly uncomfortable, shifting in his seat and glancing curiously at Jon every so often.

“What is it Sam?” Jon finally asked.

“Oh, well… its nothing really.”

“Sam?”

“I was just going to say….” Sam started and hesitated as he often did, “I was just going to say that… it’d be alright if you weren’t.”

“What are you talking about?” Jon was now shifting uncomfortably. _Why were all of his friends and relatives so insistent on sticking their noses in his business?_

“I’m just saying, that it would be fine, if-if you weren’t fine,” Sam restated, “Considering everything that has happened.”

Jon nodded, feeling his jaw tighten, “I know, my Dad, Robb and Davos, have all said as much, in more or less words.”

“Well, they are right, you know?”

Jon narrowed his eyes at Sam. He had met Sam when he first began the social work program at University, but when Jon specialized in child care, Sam had specialized in geriatric social work. They were as different in personality as they could be, but Sam possessed a loyalty and kindness that reminded Jon of the Starks. Sam also carried a strange sort of hesitant courage which often enabled him to speak hard truths that many stronger men shrank from. Jon found Sam’s counsel priceless, but he could sense Sam was about to provide him with one of those hard truths that no one wanted to hear.

“You have to realize you are not fine, before you can do any sort of moving forward,” Sam said as if it were the simplest thing in the world, “And-and as much as you say you are fine…I can tell you are not.”

Jon said nothing in response for several minutes.

“And what kind of moving forward is there for me right now?” Jon finally said, his voice harsher than he meant it, “The woman I still plan on marrying somehow if she’ll have me, can’t even remember me.”

Sam hesitated once again, “Jon…have you… have you…”

“Just spit it out, Sam.”

“Have you considered what you will do if Dany’s memory does not come back?”

“She’s going to get better the doctors say that most amnesia patients do.”

“But some don’t Jon.”

“She will.”

“She might not,” Sam gave him a stubborn glare. Jon stood from the table anger flaring, but Sam was totally unaffected.

“Now you are starting to sound like her!” Jon nearly shouted, startling both Sam and Ghost. Sam, though, remained seated, and calmly replied.

“I’m not saying that she was right to up and leave you the way she did…but perhaps, she may need to come to terms with losing her memory too, to be able to move forward.”

“And what do you want me to say Sam?” Jon snapped, feeling nagging tears prick his eyes, “Do you want me to admit that the woman I love has forgotten all about me, and our life together and just accept it? Move on, as if she were just another ex-girlfriend?”

“Well, no…”

Jon glared at his friend, feeling anger gripping him half tempted to put another hole in the wall, but also feeling tears gathering in his eyes. He felt something inside him cracking, like ice over a frozen lake. Sam gave him the gentlest smile, as if he were soothing one of his elderly clients.

“I’m not saying, you have to move on and forget all about Dany,” he said, “And I don’t know… but…. I don’t think she-she wants you to forget about her either.”

“So, what are you saying then?” Jon felt like a rabid animal, snapping and growling as tears actually started to come down his cheeks without being brushed away for the first time since Dany’s accident.

“What I am saying is that…you need to decide what your future will be if Dany’s memory never comes back,” Sam started. He stood and patted Jon on the shoulder, “You need to decide if you can love her for who she is now, and not just who she was. Do you want to be a part of her future, or do you just want your past with her that she cannot remember?”

Jon’s tears continued to come down his cheeks as he sank back into his chair. Ghost came over to him and licked his hand. Jon buried his face in the big dog’s fur as if he were a little boy again. Vaguely, he wondered if he had been a little boy the last time he had cried like this.

“I don’t know what I am going to do, Sam,” He whispered. Jon knew that Dany was the one, there was no one else for him, but he could he live with starting from scratch with her all over again? And if so, would she even be willing?

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Dany meets her therapist, Dr. Tyrion Lannister


	16. Tyrion (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tyrion turned out even harder to write then I expected, so this is merely an intro to him. He will reappear in later chapters. I am NOT a therapy expert by any means, but I tried to make it at least semi realistic for a first therapy session. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!

            Midnight had come and gone, and Sansa had long been asleep. Dany had a quiz the next day in a particularly complicated class dealing with law and contracts. She pulled at her hair, feeling tears of frustration welling in her eyes. Part of her had hoped that returning to school would be the simpler task in her recovery, but she had been proved wrong once again. Over a week had passed since she had returned to school and work, and while her professors had been more than understanding considering the circumstances, but they could not be expected to lower their standards of education just so she could pass. Some aspects of her education had come back with very little effort, but she found that most of the knowledge she had acquired this semester seemed to be gone, making her current classes veritable blank spaces.

“You still up?” Sansa’s sleepy voice met her ears.

“Yes, studying for that quiz,” Dany rubbed her eyes.

“If you don’t get some sleep, you won’t do yourself any favors.”

“I know,” Dany yawned. She knew she was not prepared enough for the quiz if she went to sleep now, and she would likely just have bad dreams of Drogo and Viserys if she did. She had had a couple such dreams during that first week home from the hospital, but this week they had cropped up in her sleep with an alarming frequency. She was not sleeping well at all this week, which was also impairing her ability to perform scholastically. Dany was not going to tell Sansa all of that, so she changed the subject.

“Jon texted me this morning saying my neurologist called him to confirm my appointment on Saturday,” Dany said.

“Did you two talk at all?”

“No,” Dany said, in fact she had not actually spoken to Jon since Robb’s party, and they had not really spoken then, “He simply sent me the information and I told him thank you.”

Sansa just shook her head, but wisely made no further comment about Jon, “I have to work on Saturday, but you are welcome to take my car if you are comfortable to drive.”

Dany looked down at the cast still encasing her right hand. Driving would likely be unwise considering she still could not really grip anything well with her right hand.

“It’s okay, I will ask Missandei if she can take me.”

Sansa yawned, “Dany, I don’t want to mother you, but you really should get some sleep.”

Dany nodded.

“And don’t forget, Missandei is picking you up from school and dropping you off at your appointment with Dr. Lannister tomorrow at 3, and I will pick you up after.”

Dany nodded again and had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. If truth be told, she did not want therapy. She did not believe it would help her memory and did not want to rehash the past with a total stranger. When Professor Varys had first given her the names of different therapists to consider she had been ready to try anything, but now sitting in a stuffy psychologist’s office for the afternoon just sounded like another chore in her ever-growing list of things she needed to do. Sansa though had been insistent that she go, and when Sansa had told Missandei about it, the two of them had ganged up on her about making an appointment. When Dany had nearly refused, Sansa had subtly hinted that she either had to go to therapy or they would need to reevaluate their living situation. Dany did not know if she loved or hated Sansa’s stubbornness. After that altercation, Dany had begrudgingly called the offices of Dr. Tyrion Lannister.

 

            Dany cursed at herself as she left the classroom. She knew she failed the quiz, there was no way she had not. Almost every question had been a struggle. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, and she wanted to hit something, but now she had to be hustled over to therapy. Missandei was waiting for her in the parking lot.

“How did it go?” Missandei asked, having known about the quiz.

“Terrible.”

“I’m sorry, my friend.” Missandei gave her shoulder a squeeze before pulling the car out. They were quiet for a while, before Dany had to asked about her neurology appointment.

“I’m sorry to have to ask this, Missy,” Dany started.

“You never have to apologize for asking me something, Dany.”

“I know, but I feel so helpless sometimes, and it makes me frustrated and I feel bad about having to ask for so much help.”

“You haven’t even asked me yet.”

“Jon texted me yesterday to let me know that I had a neurology appointment on Saturday, but Sansa has to work, and I don’t think I can drive a car yet. Do you think you could possibly drive me?”

Missandei looked troubled, “I’m so sorry, Dany, but my father is not doing well, and Grey and I are going back to him this weekend.”

“It’s ok, Missy, I’ll figure something out, if I just have to drive, I will.”

Missandei looked skeptical about such a suggestion but seemed to be hesitating to tell her something.

“What is it?” Dany asked, knowing her friend well.

“Maybe,” Missy hesitated again seeming to have an internal debate, “Maybe Jon could take you.”

Dany was already shaking her head, “I don’t think so. How could even ask him that after the things I said to him?”

“Well, Jon cares about you, Dany, I know he would take you if you ask him,” Missy smiled softly, “And perhaps it would even give you both a chance to clear the air between you, now that you’ve both had a little distance and passions have cooled.”

“I don’t know…”

“Think about it,” Missandei said, and as they turned into the parking lot for Dr. Lannister’s office she added with a smile, “It could be therapeutic for you both.”

Dany shook her head but smiled.

 

            Dr. Lannister’s office was opulent and comfortable, obviously designed to put clients at ease. It did not, however, put Dany at ease. His receptionist gave Dany some paper work to fill out which she did as best as she could, and then waited to be called back, fidgeting nervously with her fingers. She did not notice when the door to the office opened but suddenly a voice called her name.

“Daenerys?”

Dany shot up and faced her therapist. Tyrion Lannister was a dwarf, with a heavily bearded face, and scruffy hair. He had half-moon glasses perched on a stubby nose, and his attire was much more casually than Dany would have expected. They went through the formalities of introduction, and consents forms and such as Dr. Lannister instructed her to make herself comfortable. Dany sat stiffly on the cushioned chair across from his.

“So, Miss Targaryen, what brings you in today?” He asked, as he must ask all of his first-time patients. Dany really did not know where to begin listing her problems, which almost made her chuckle.

“I have retrograde amnesia,” She said flatly as if that would explain the whole problem. Tyrion looked over his glasses and nodded.

“I’ve lost about four years of memories,” Dany continued, to which Tyrion nodded again.

“Aren’t you supposed to ask me how I feel about that?” Dany quipped. Tyrion looked her in the eyes and without blinking, replied,

“How do you feel about that?”

Dany said nothing in response just stared at him, and she could see the hint of a smile playing at the corners of his lips.

“Typically, in a first session, Miss Targaryen…”

“Dany… you can call me Dany.”

“Typically, Dany, for a first session, I’d just like to get to know you a little better, then see if you have any questions for me, and if there is time maybe discuss what to expect in future sessions.”

Dany nodded.

“Obviously, when experiencing memory loss, I know questions may become frustrating, but for now, can you tell me a little about yourself?” Tyrion prompted.

“What would you like to know?”

He had that funny hidden smile on his face once again.

“Do you have family?”

“A brother, who I suppose is still living in Kings Landing.”

“You have not had contact with him since the traumatic event?”

“No.”

“Is there a reason for that?” Tyrion asked softly, when she did not respond he continued, “When we spoke on the phone, you mentioned that the reason you chose me over certain other therapists with experience in traumatic brain injuries, was because I also have experience in domestic abuse recovery.”

Dany nodded.

“You do not have to say anything about today if you don’t want too, but is past abuse a possible reason for not being in contact with your brother?”

Dany nodded again. Tyrion wrote this down on his chart.

“Do you have any family here in Winterfell?”

“No.”

“What does your support system look like?” There was no judgement in his voice, as if he was a man who understood not having a reliable family.

“I live with my friend, Sansa Stark, and my friend Missandei and her husband, Grey, live in town, and are like family too me.”

Tyrion nodded, “And do you have a significant other?”

“Significant other?” Dany repeated, as if she did not understand the question.

“You know, boyfriend? Girlfriend? Someone who may or may not share your bed on occasion?” Tyrion gave her a teasing smile then, and she had to chuckle.

“I don’t know,” She responded.

“You don’t know, as in you may have had one before the traumatic event and you don’t remember?”

“I don’t know,” She repeated. Tyrion seemed confused.

“Would you care to elaborate?”

“It’s complicated,” Dany said. She really was not sure what to call Jon anymore. Was he still her fiancé if they had called off the wedding? She did not know. They had not actually made a clean break from their relationship. Were they still in a relationship? She had merely said she needed space and made a break for it, and he had respected her wishes thus far.

“We like complicated here,” Tyrion said with a chuckle, “Generally, that’s why people come to see me.”

Dany had not expected to have to talk about Jon straight away, but she nodded, “I, before the accident, had a fiancé, his name is Jon, and I lived with him.”

“But you don’t now?”

“No.”

“Would you like to tell me why?”

“I did, stay with him I mean. he brought me back home from the hospital after the accident,” Dany explained, suddenly feeling herself get shy, not wanting to talk about Jon.

“It did not go well, I take it?”

“It was going fine at first,” Dany said, “But you see, I lost four years of memory…”

Tyrion nodded again and let her continue.

“I did not know Jon four years ago.”

“Ah, I see,” Tyrion took a note, “How did he react to being forgotten?”

“Surprisingly well,” Dany confessed with a shy smile, as she thought about the week and a half, she had spent at the apartment with Jon.

“But somehow you have ended up living with your friend Sansa.”

Dany nodded.

“I usually don’t give clients objectives after our first session,” Tyrion said, “But I am going to make an exception, for you.”

“Okay.”

“I think it is important for you to know who your allies are as you are recovering, obviously you have Sansa, and Missandei, but I think you and Jon need to perhaps have a talk about whether or not you still want him to be a part of your life,” Tyrion recommended, “Now I’m not saying that you should jump right back into the intensity of a romantic relationship with him, but deciding if you want him to remain a part of your team I think will be an important part of your recovery.”

Dany nodded.

“Later on, we can talk more about what that will look like.”

The rest of their session was filled with talk about Dany’s school and work. Dany did not have questions for Tyrion which seemed to concern him, but he made no comment on it. Then they discussed what future sessions may look like and when Dany looked up at the clock, they had almost taken up the entire time.

“My last question before you go,” Tyrion said, “What are your goals for therapy?”

Dany gave a rueful chuckle, “Ideally, a full memory recovery…but I know that is not how this works.”

“No,” Tyrion gave her a gentle smile, seeming pleased with her bluntness, “But I don’t think there is any reason why we can’t make that the ideal goal, and see how far we get toward it, but I think also there may be other goals you should consider that do not have to do with memory recovery.”

Dany’s chest tightened.

“I want you to think on what kind of emotional goals you may have, especially as it pertains to your past, and what kind of recovery you would like to see.”

Dany nodded.

The dwarf hopped down from his chair and came over to her and extended his hand for her to shake, which she did.

“Now, Dany, I am looking forward to seeing you next week and hearing all about your goals, and your conversation with the complicated Jon.”

            Sansa did not ask her much about the appointment, for which Dany was glad. She did not want to talk about therapy. She did not want to talk about anything else tonight. Homework awaited her at home, amongst plenty of other worries.

“Is Missandei able to take you to your neurology appointment on Saturday?” Sansa suddenly asked.

“She can’t.”

“Oh, well, I’ll see if I can leave work for a little while…”

“She suggested I ask Jon.”

“She did?” Sansa seemed surprised.

“Do you think I should ask Jon?”

Sansa smiled at her, with that irritating smile she got whenever Dany mentioned Jon.

“Yes, yes I do.”

            Once they were home, Dany tucked herself away in her room to study. She glanced at the picture she kept hidden under a book on her desk. It was the picture of her and Jon on what he had told her was their first date on Winterfell pier. Dany picked up her phone with a sigh and dialed his number. It rang once. Dany ended the call.

“Coward,” she muttered to herself under her breath, and hit redial. It rang once, but once again Dany could not go through with it. She laid her phone down, then picked it up again. She needed a ride. Jon would not mind. She dialed again and hung up again. Slamming the phone down on her desk, she picked up her textbook, intending to forget the whole scheme. Unfortunately, she was not to have her way. Her phone rang. She looked down at the name. It was Jon.

“Hello,” She answered casually, as if she did not know why he was calling and hated how artificial her voice sounded.

“Dany?”

“Yes?”

“Is there a reason you just called me, and hung up, three times?” He asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

“No…I mean, yes….I….”

“Yes?”

"Jon...could you take me to my neurology appointment?" She stammered out her request to which he patiently listened, and then he was silent, “If you can’t take me that is ok, I can see if my coworker, Irri, or, or, or…. I can call a cab…”

He calmly interrupted, “I can take you.”

“Thank you.”

“Your welcome.”

Feeling suddenly vulnerable with how easily he had acquiesced, Dany added in a stony voice, “Though I have not changed my mind about where I need to be living.”

“I didn’t think that you would,” He said, and she could not tell if it was annoyance or amusement that she heard in his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Jon takes Dany to the neurologist


	17. Doctors (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in getting this up, I got home from work late last night and fell asleep before I could write anything. Its short, but I hope you are not disappointed. 
> 
> I briefly turned on comment moderation yesterday, because I did not want the comments to escalate any more then they already had. The comments got a little harsh yesterday which was partially my fault because I got impatient and broke one of the cardinal rules of writing and tried to explain my story instead of letting readers come to their own conclusions. I am sorry for that, I will continue to write as I planned and you are welcome to love or hate it. Anyway, I am going to turn off comment moderation, because I really hate moderating comments, as long as we can all be polite to each other, and I will also restrain myself from making commentary about the story. This is much more fun when we are having fun and not fighting in the comments. Today let’s start fresh. 
> 
> With that said, there was a complaint that was particularly valid, and easily addressed. The scene in question, is the scene where Dany calls Jon to ask him to take her to the appointment. Originally, I simply stated that she made her request and I left the readers to fill in the blank because we knew what she was going to ask him. But after the complaint, I went back and read this scene and realized that the way I had the sentences organized did make it sound like Jon interrupted her BEFORE she made her request, which was not what I intended. So, I went back and fixed that.   
> So, you may want to read the last scene of Chapter 16 again, before continuing on to chapter 17. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading as always!

Jon pulled up to Sansa’s apartment on Saturday morning, and shot Dany a text informing her that he was there to pick her up. He felt wary and weary. Today, officially marked one month since she had woken up from her accident and did not remember him. One month from today would have been their wedding. Jon glanced up and saw Dany fumbling with the keys in her left hand trying to lock the apartment door. Dany had always been an independent person, and he wondered how she was faring with Sansa, who was the perpetual mother-hen of his family. He was not going to ask her, though. He and Sam had had a long discussion yesterday about the right approach for him to take in handling their interactions today. Sam had extensive experience, as a geriatric social worker, in dealing with clients with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, and in helping their families cope. While Dany obviously did not have dementia or Alzheimer’s, much of Sam’s counsel resonated with Jon especially in coping with how he felt about being forgotten by the love of his life, and in approaching Dany again.

            Dany appeared at the door of the car a moment later, and got in. She seemed shy, Jon noted. Dany, before the accident, had not been particularly shy. He wondered at it now, wondering if it was a method she had subconsciously developed to cope with her memory loss.

“Good morning,” she said softly, not looking at him directly, “Thank you… for taking me.”

“Anytime, lov-Dany,” Jon stammered over the endearment that he often used with her. Sam told him to treat her as he would any of his friends today. Jon knew that would be difficult for him, but he had resolved to do just that.

“You didn’t have too,” Dany whispered, “I appreciate it.”

“Well, in a couple of weeks you’ll have that cast off your hand and be able to drive again,” Jon smiled trying to keep the conversation light, “You’ll be liberated.”

Dany smiled, “Yes.”

“The insurance money should come through for your car soon, the accident was not your fault so the insurance money should at least provide a sizable down payment, if not pay for a whole new car for you,” Jon said.

Then she nodded that strange little nod she had developed. He could not decide if it made him crazy or made her even more endearing. They rode in silence for a while, somewhat uncomfortably. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Dany occasionally look at him, studying him as if looking for something in his profile.

“Are you going to ask to touch my hair again?” Jon teased her. She blushed but laughed as well. They rode the rest of the way in silence, but a much more amiable silence.

 

            They arrived at the neurologist’s office, and signed in. As they waited for her to be called back, Dany was fidgety. Even before the accident, she had not liked going to the doctor. He assumed, though they had never talked about it before, that it had something to do with the abuses in her past, being afraid to explain bruises and scrapes to a healthcare professional. Jon’s heart constricted. She had grown so much in the four years he had known her, that it hurt him to see her anxious about something as simple as a doctor’s appointment. He stopped himself from taking her hand. That was not why he was here.

“Daenerys!” Her name was called by the nurse and she got up. Jon remained seated.

“Aren’t you coming?” She asked.

“You don’t need me back there, Dany,” Jon said, “You are strong, you can do this, I will be right here waiting for you when you get done,” he encouraged. She nodded with a frown and followed the nurse.

            Jon read a book while he was waiting and made a phone call to Davos about a concern with Shireen. Roughly thirty to forty minutes had passed when a nurse appeared at the doorway to the waiting area.

“Jon Snow?” The nurse called. Jon’s head shot up. Why were they calling him? Was something wrong?

“Yes?” He stood.

“Your girlfriend, Daenerys, asked me to come and see if you would come back and wait with her,” The nurse explained, with a smile, “She’s already finished her tests and scans, and is now just waiting for the doctor.”

Jon nodded and followed. _Was she still his girlfriend?_ Dany was sitting on one of those paper covered table/bed combos that could be found in most doctor’s offices. The last time they had been alone together in a doctor’s office like this, they had been told that it would be next to impossible for them to have a baby. That time she had been in her socks and one of those pink paper gowns, and she had looked even more vulnerable than she did now. Jon tried to push those memories aside.

“Sorry,” she said immediately as he entered, and the nurse shut the door.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just…I didn’t…” She did not seem able to form a sentence. Jon nodded, almost imitating her little nods. _She did not want to be alone_. He said nothing and sat down on the chair next to her. The doctor appeared an uncomfortably long time later.

“Well, Miss Targaryen, how are you feeling today?” The doctor asked, as he felt around on her skull, and looked at her eyes.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you still getting headaches?”

“Not as many.”

“Good, good,” The doctor said, “Well, the scans show that the physical injuries caused by the concussions seem to be healing up nicely.”

Dany nodded.

“Have any of your memories began to come back?” The doctor asked, and Dany looked at Jon briefly.

“No, I don’t think so.”

The doctor nodded and wrote something on his chart.

“Well, I’m not entirely surprised,” the doctor responded coldly, “With this type of injury it is very difficult to determine the long-term effects. Have you been sleeping alright? Getting rest? Sleep is an important aspect of recovering from this type of injury.”

Strangely, Dany looked at Jon again, as if suddenly uncomfortable.

“No, I am not sleeping well.”

“Why not?”

Dany shifted again then looked at her feet, “I’ve been studying and trying to get back into school.” Jon was puzzled, he could tell there had been a lie in that statement somewhere. It surprised him. Dany was not one to lie, and why would she lie to her neurologist? Jon knew she was studying hard, maybe too hard, but why did she look so uncomfortable answering that question?

“How is school going?”

“Alright, I guess,” Dany readjusted her siting position, “I am finding it hard to catch up with the semester work. I think I thought that I would still remember everything, but the things I’ve learned this semester right before the accident all seem really fuzzy, while things I learned in past semesters are not so difficult to recall.”

The doctor nodded, and made another note, “Well, there are different types of memories stored in the brain, and while most patients with retrograde amnesia mainly lose their episodic memory, or their biographical memory, the brain is really hard to predict, it may be that you have lost some of the semantic memories you made closest to your accident. Generally, in cases of amnesia the memories, whether semantic or episodic, that are further away from the injuries are easiest to recall.”

Dany nodded, seeming to struggle with his words.

“We have determined that you have roughly lost four years of memories,” the doctor tried to explain, “So the memories of three or four years ago, will likely be the first to come back, if they come back at all.”

“Will they come back?” Dany suddenly asked, a hard look in her eyes. Jon raked his hand through his hair. The doctor sighed.

“I have to be honest with you,” he began, “It’s been a month since the accident, and the further away from the incident we get the less likely it becomes that the memories will come back.”

Dany nodded, and Jon could see her heart crashing into the floor.

“I know this is not easy to hear,” The doctor, with his atrocious bedside manner, continued, “I think it could be beneficial for you to talk with your professors about possibly sitting out of school the rest of this semester, regrouping, resting your mind, and making realistic goals for the situation.”

Dany nodded again, seeming to retreat even further into herself.

“Do you have any other questions for me?” The doctor asked.

Dany shook her head.

“Well, I guess I will see you at the next appointment then.”

Jon ushered a silent Dany back to his car, he had expected her to show some sort of emotion. Tears maybe, or even anger, but for a while she just sat there staring straight ahead as Jon started the car and made to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Dany POV, Dany and Jon have a conversation about his continued presence in her life, and Dany goes to see Tyrion again
> 
> Also, I'm NOT a neurologist by any means, so most of this medical stuff is kind of brushed over and maybe inaccurate for which I apologize.


	18. Together (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter immediately picks up from the end of chapter 17, but switches to DAny's POV

Dany sat silent in the car ride as they headed toward home. She felt like her world had just caved in around her again, just as it had when she woke up in the hospital after the accident. She wondered if Jon was going to say anything. He did not seem inclined to talk now, for which she was grateful. While she had entertained the possibility that her memory may never come back, and certainly despaired of it at times, hearing her fears confirmed by a doctor had robbed her of her last trappings of hope.

            She glanced at Jon. Tyrion had told her that she needed to decide if she still wanted Jon to be a part of her life. Dany had not told anyone, not even Missandei, but she had decided that she did want him to remain in her life. She did not know in what capacity yet, as she felt stupidly cliché asking him to be her friend after everything that had happened between them. Her mind drifted to that night in their apartment, when they had gotten somewhat “carried away,” as he called it, with a kiss. She had been undone by his tenderness, by the brush of his lips, and the press of his body against hers. She had marveled at his strength in restraint when he pulled away from her because he knew that was what was best for her. Drogo and Daario would never have done that, they had never considered her needs. They had never been careful with her. Jon was. How could she ask Jon to just be friends? And yet, after hearing the neurologist confirm her fears, it also felt wrong to ask Jon for more than his friendship, as she still could not give him the life that he deserved.

“You seem to be thinking really hard over there,” Jon finally commented.

“My life is going to look different now I guess,” Dany said softly.

“Your life can look however you want it. Its your life.”

“I don’t think I’ve really… considered that I will never get my memories back,” Dany started, haltingly, “I mean, obviously, you know…you know probably better than anyone…that it is was something I was worried about.”

Jon nodded, considering her words.

“But it feels different having one’s fears confirmed by a licensed professional.”

Jon nodded again.

“I don’t want to quit school,” Dany whispered, feeling emotion creeping up her throat.

“Well you know, that is only the opinion of one doctor, you can always get a second opinion,” Jon finally spoke. A tear did fall down her cheek then, as she glanced out the window.

“And what good did a second opinion ever do for me?” Dany asked, and looked back at him. Hadn’t he told her they had gotten a second opinion about her ability to have a baby? Now they were here a year and half later and still did not have a child. She could tell he was thinking the same thing. They went silent for a few beats.

“I’m seeing a therapist,” Dany stated, trying to change the subject.

“Good. You should ask your therapist what he thinks about your chances of recovering your memory.”

Dany nodded, “I suppose I will.”

Jon nodded. _Gods, this was painfully awkward_ , she thought, as she searched for the right words to say.

“Dr. Lannister and I talked about you at my session.”

“Oh?” Jon looked dreadfully uncomfortable at hearing that.

“He asked me who I had in my life as support.”

Jon nodded again. _Why wasn’t he saying anything?_

“I, um, feel stupid…ask-asking this after everything that happened and considering our um…history.”

“Okay?”

“But I would like to be friends, as cliché as that sounds, I want you to be a part of my life, to be allies.”

“Allies?” He almost chuckled, but she could see something else on his face that made her concerned.

“Yes, that’s what Dr. Lannister called it,” Dany replied. He went silent, his face stony and expressionless.

“Do you…Do you think we could be that? Allies?...Friends, I mean? Could we…considering…?” Dany rambled, and noted that Jon actually looked angry which was not what she had expected.

“Aye, aye, I think we could,” he snapped, as he put the car in park in front of Sansa’s apartment, and turned to face her. His grey eyes were stormy.

“But?”

“But we need to get a few things straight, Daenerys.”

She nodded, and felt her breath catch in her chest.

“If I’m going to remain a part of your life, I can’t spend the rest of my life tiptoeing around you as if were a glass that might shatter at any moment, and I can’t be worried all the time that you might get upset if I happen to say the wrong thing, because I probably will, and you can’t run out just because you are angry. I can’t live like that and quite frankly it’s not a healthy way for you to live either!”

Dany had never heard him say so many words all together at one time before, and she wrestled between frustration and acceptance of his rebuke.

“Well, I can’t promise I’ll never get mad again,” She retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. His lips twitched in a smile, her words seeming to cool some of his irritation.

“Well, that’s good, because that’s not something I can promise you either,” Jon got out of the car and came around and opened her door, as he always did, “I can be friends with you, Dany, or allies, or whatever it is you want to call it, as long as we are in it together, not in and out, but together. Do you understand?”

“Together then,” Dany agreed and hid her smile. Jon left after she got into the apartment. She had considered inviting him to stay so they could talk more but did not want to press her luck or jeopardize the tenuous new start they were making. He still seemed a little irritated when he left, but she supposed that would be a conversation for another day.

 

 

“Bullshit!” Tyrion exclaimed at her appointment with him, after Dany told him that the neurologist had said she may never recover her memory, “That doctor needs his head on a spike!”

Dany did not know whether to laugh or be disturbed by the image that his words created.

“The mind, Dany, is a resilient thing,” Tyrion began, calming once again, and leaning toward her in an almost conspiratorial fashion, “The thing is all those memories we keep saying you ‘lost’ are actually still in your mind, the problem is your mind has forgotten how to access them, almost like it lost the key to that file cabinet.”

“So, you think they will come back?”

“I won’t lie to you, it is possible that they may never come back.”

Dany sighed, “Well, that isn’t what I wanted to hear.”

“Well, just because it’s not what you wanted, doesn’t make it any less true,” Tyrion began, “However, we keep talking about these memories as a whole unit, as if, if all of them don’t come back, than none of them will, which isn’t true.”

“Are you saying that some may come back, and some may not?”

“Yes,” said Tyrion, “The mind can relearn new pathways or make new ones to access those memories, and I’ve read studies of cases where people have gradually recovered their memories, piece by piece.”

Dany felt hope growing inside her again, which was both terrifying and exhilarating.

“The doctor also said I should consider stepping out of school for this semester to regroup, and ‘make plans’,” Dany said somewhat sarcastically, though inwardly she felt like she was wilting. Tyrion considered her for a moment, studying her face.

“And why did he say that?”

“He is afraid my mind is getting too overworked, because I’m not sleeping enough.”

“Why aren’t you sleeping enough?”

“I’ve been studying hard…” Dany stated, but was interrupted.

“I feel it incumbent upon me to inform you that, unlike imbecilic neurologists, I don’t accept bullshit answers too my very serious questions,” Tyrion informed her. He folded his hands together and stared at her. Dany bristled. She did not want to tell him the real reason any more than she had wanted to tell the neurologist…or Jon.

“Out with it,” Tyrion prompted.

“I’ve been having bad dreams of Viserys and Drogo.”

“Viserys is the psychopathic brother?” Tyrion commented, and Dany chuckled and nodded, “But Drogo, who is this Drogo? This is a new character, in our cast of characters.”

“He was my husband,” Dany said softly looking down at the floor.

“Your husband?” Tyrion was incredulous, “I thought Complicated Jon was the significant other here? The once and future fiancé?” Dany chuckled again but did not reply.

“People tend to bring illusive husbands to therapy with them you know, sometimes physically but most often verbally,” Tyrion’s voice was light and joking, but when Dany looked up at him his eyes were full of sympathy.

“Illusive Drogo was before…” Dany was about to say _before Jon_ , but then she realized she had not told Tyrion about Daario either.

“I married Drogo when I was 17, we were married for roughly 2 years before he died,” Dany explained. Tyrion nodded, seeming to wait and see if she would elaborate, when she did not, he continued.

“And I take it that since you are having nightmares about him, either his death was traumatic, or your life with him was?” Tyrion stated softly. Dany nodded, and Tyrion added in an even gentler voice, “Nodding is not always good enough, Dany, can you tell me which one it was?”

“My life with him was,” Dany admitted. Tyrion nodded then, and gave her a soft smile, “I do want to unpack him more in future sessions, but not today.”

Dany sighed in relief. She was not prepared to talk about Drogo.

“Now are there any other significant others you have closeted in your past that I should know about?”

“After Drogo I had a boyfriend named Daario,” Dany confessed, “I was dating Daario around the time my memory starts to get fuzzy.”

“So, we have Illusive Drogo, Closet Daario, and Complicated Jon, are there any others? Now is the time,” Tyrion chuckled.

“No, that’s it.”

“Now is there a reason you did not want to tell me about both Daario and Drogo?” Tyrion asked. Dany blushed, the real reason she did not want to talk about Daario is because their relationship had been a dysfunctional nightmare that she was actually relieved to be rid of, and even more relieved that she did not even have to remember breaking up with him. She was also not too keen on discussing her sex life with a stranger.

“Well?” Tyrion pressed.

“Well, I was afraid…” Dany started not sure how to say it, “I was afraid if we got too bogged down with my dysfunctional relationships, we’ll end up talking about that and nothing else.”

“Well, we therapists do like to talk about relationships and sex,” Tyrion laughed, good-naturedly, and Dany glared at him, “Just you wait, you’ll love it! We get to blame our parents for everything, it’s great fun!”

Dany laughed nervously, not sure if he was serious or not.

“Did you have your conversation with Complicated Jon then?” Tyrion returned his attention to the present moment. Dany nodded, and Tyrion narrowed his eyes at her, and so she proceeded to explain.

“Yes, we decided we could be friends, and allies.”

“Good, I like Complicated Jon already, and would be very much disappointed if he dashed my hopes.”

Dany gave him a look.

“We are getting close on our time, and I don’t want you getting too overwhelmed today, so we will leave your love life alone for now,” Tyrion said, straightening his glasses, “I have one last question, just as a follow up.”

“Okay.”

“What in your opinion would be so wrong with taking a break from school?”


	19. Sick Days (Jon)

Allies, friends…Jon could be those things if she allowed him to be. He had no great confidence that this was going to go smoothly. It would be messy, just as everything seemed to be since her accident, but he had said his piece on Saturday. Part of him could not believe the words had actually left his mouth. Jon had always been the type that thought of the right thing to say…in the shower…five hours later. His mouth often failed him in the moments he needed it most, but somehow, he said precisely what he meant to with Dany the other day in the car. They certainly still had issues to work out, as Jon remembered the day she had left the apartment with some bitterness still stewing in him, but he could at least say with some confidence that they did not hate each other, and that they were working out whatever it was they were going to be to each other in the future. Small steps, but steps, nonetheless, Jon told himself as he groaned on the couch and Ghost licked his face.

He looked at the clock on the wall. It was three o’clock in the afternoon, and this had felt like the longest day in history. This morning at about 3 a.m. he had woken up, and promptly vomited and could tell he was running a fever. One of his clients had been sick on Monday when Jon showed up to see him, and Jon had been a bit annoyed that the boy’s caregiver had not told him he was sick and to come back another day. Now two days later and much to Jon’s frustration, he was exhibiting the same symptoms. He vomited again at 7 a.m., and had attempted to go to work at 8 a.m., but Davos had taken one look at him and sent him home, where Jon vomited again. He had, thankfully, not thrown up again since that third time, but he was still running a fever, and so was bundled in a blanket on his couch staring at paperwork he could be doing. He heard his text tone go off a couple of times from where his phone was plugged next to the wall on the other side of the room, but he could not bring himself to care. Ghost brought him his ball, which Jon tossed haphazardly down the hall, before curling up in the fetal position on the sofa and deciding to feel sorry for himself. He hated being sick. He hated being forced to halt his daily activities and focus on getting himself well.

“Your immune system is probably down from all the stress and worrying you’ve been doing,” Davos had told him, “Between Dany, and Shireen, and all of your other case load, maybe this is your body telling you that you need to slow down.”

“It’s a virus, Davos,” Jon had told him.

“Just the same, you don’t need to be here getting everyone else sick,” and so Davos had won out and Jon had come home. He had slept most of the morning and could not bring himself to eat anything for dinner, for the mere thought of food made him queasy. His phone buzzed again, and Jon threw a pillow at it, as if that would help. A knock startled him out of his misery.

“Seven hells,” He muttered under his breath, and wrapped his blanket tighter around his shirtless body, and scrambled for the pajama bottoms he had strewn across the floor somewhere. Another knock sounded. Jon forced himself to the door, while Ghost pranced in front of it, eager for company that was not as moody as Jon.

            Jon opened the door, and there stood Dany. He stared at her blankly for a moment. She gave him a shy smile, which he attempted to return.

“I thought you might not be home but thought I would try anyway since I was close by,” Dany said starting to explain her presence at the door, “I sent you two texts, but you didn’t answer.”

Jon still stared blankly, somewhat stunned to find her there.

“You see I was at Missandei’s, she lives down the road a ways, but of course you know where she lives,” Dany started to ramble, looking suddenly self-conscious as if she was not entirely sure why she was there either, “I was studying there today, because Sansa is having guests at our house for dinner. Missandei needed to take a nap….you know because of being…pregnant… and, and tired.”

Jon nodded, “Did you walk down here?”

“Yes.”

“That’s quite a long walk.”

“Tyrion…Dr. Lannister, my therapist, yesterday said that walking and fresh air would be good for me.”

Jon nodded again.

“I actually came over because I needed to um…pick up some more clothes,” Dany looked nervous now, “When I…I…left… that day, I only took one pair of work pants…and…and I kind of need some more, it’s been challenging keeping the one pair cleaned and pressed for work.”

“You could have called me or even told me on Saturday,” Jon said as he opened the door and allowed her to pass through, “I would have brought you some.”

“I know…I’m sorry,” Dany looked at the ground, “I thought you would have still been angry with me, for…for leaving the way that I did, so I didn’t want to bother you.”

Jon gave her a weak smile.

“But I figured since we decided we could be friends, I could come get them,” Dany explained, “And like I said, I was in the neighborhood and taking a walk anyway.”

“Well, be free to get whatever you need,” Jon said as he flopped ungracefully back down on the couch.

Dany nodded, then quickly added, “Thank you.”

            Jon watched from the couch as she bustled up and down the hallway, trying to remember or trying to find whatever remained of her clothes.

“If you would like,” Jon began weakly, “This weekend you and Sansa can come and get the rest of your things.” He had not thought of the fact that when she left, she had only taken two bags of clothes with her. Dany chuckled.

“To be honest, Jon, I don’t think I could tell what was mine and what was yours,” She seemed oddly comfortable with her memory problem today, unlike she had been on Saturday. He tried to smile, but felt his stomach rolling again.

            As she brought a bag full of clothes to the living room, she looked at him, then glanced around the room. He could see the wheels in her mind turning as she considered him.

“Your hair is a mess, Jon,” she said bluntly. He laughed, weakly, that not being what he had expected her to say. He ran his hand through his hair trying to push back the wild curls.

“Aye, I suppose it is,” he pulled the blanket tighter around him, feeling both the hot and the chill from his fever.

“You’re sick.”

“Aye.”

He watched as she came to stand in front of him. Jon looked up at her, and tried to smile, then swallowed hard as she laid her soft hand across his forehead to feel for fever.

“You have fever,” Dany stated. He nodded.

“There is a drug store down the road that I noticed on my way here,” Dany said, “I’ll go get you some medicine.”

Jon started to protest.

“Have you eaten today?” She asked.

He shook his head still not sure he could hold down food.

“I’ve been throwing up.”

“Oh, well, I will get you some crackers and ginger ale,” Dany said as she moved toward the kitchen.

“Dany, you don’t need to do that,” He called after her. She returned with a wet washcloth in her hand and sat down on the coffee table in front of where he lay on the couch. Their eyes met for a moment, as she wiped the cool cloth across the sides of his neck, down each of his cheeks, and then laid it across his forehead. He gave her a weak smile, and she gave him a shy one in return.

“You don’t need to take care of me,” He said softly, “I don’t want to get you sick.”

“Nonsense, everyone deserves someone to take care of them when they are sick,” Dany said. Jon felt his heart swell. He had heard her say that before, and he knew why she felt that way. When she had been young, there had been no one to take care of her when she got sick. Though she had not been a sickly child by any means, the times she had gotten sick, Viserys had left her virtually alone until she got better, only providing her with medicine or the practical items she would need in order to take care of herself. Instead of letting those years make her bitter, Dany had grown compassionate. Jon had loved her capacity for kindness and care. _Being her friend, and only her friend, was going to be harder and messier than he imagined_.

            Seeming to sense that the moment had grown more intimate than she had intended, she gave his cheek a playful pat.

“You said we could be friends and allies as long as we did it together, didn’t you?” She said, standing up from where she had been sitting on the coffee table, “Well, that goes both ways. Don’t be stubborn, let me help you.”

He wanted to snap back that of the two of them, he was not the stubborn one, but he bit his tongue and nodded, and then she scurried off to the drug store.

            As she was on foot, she was gone for over forty-five minutes, but when she returned, she had a bagful of items in her hand. Jon glanced up at her from his spot on the couch. She smiled at him. Their silences were awkward, and he knew it was because they still had so much they needed to say to each other, but for now he surrendered, and let her take care of him.

“Here are the crackers and ginger ale, and some medicine,” Dany placed all of these items on the coffee table. She reached for the washcloth still on his forehead and headed toward the kitchen with the rest of her bags. She returned with a glass of water for him to take his medicine and had gotten the cloth wet again. With the cloth she repeated her earlier motions, wiping his neck, and his cheeks, before placing it on his forehead.

“Thank you,” He said, and accepted the water and medicine from her. She poured him some ginger ale and offered that to him as well, after the water.

“I thought crackers and ginger ale for a bad stomach was an old wives’ tale?” He teased, though his voice was tired and weak. She chuckled.

“Well some old wives’ tales are true, aren’t they?” Dany sat down on the recliner and glanced over at him. Her eyes were shy and hesitant, “I also got you some soup…for later, but…”

Jon was not sure what she was trying to say, so he offered her another smile trying to urge her on.

“But, I…I didn’t know what kind you like,” She said, looking half ashamed, “So I got three different kinds.” Jon, to his credit, managed to hide his laughter at her endearing solution to the obvious gaps in her memory.

“Thank you, Dany, that will feed me a couple of times,” Jon said, trying to keep the conversation light, not wanting her to retreat into herself.

“I think Missandei will still be sleeping for a bit, and we aren’t having dinner until 6 anyway,” Dany started seeming hesitant, “I can stay for a while, if you like, and we can watch a show, or something. Friends do that sort of thing, don’t they?”

Jon could not say that any of his friends had ever came over and taken care of him while he was sick the way she did, but he was not about to tell her that. She turned on the T.V. and curled up in the recliner with Ghost at her feet.

“Shouldn’t you be studying?” Jon asked. Dany looked downcast, and he regretted asking.

“I don’t think it will matter much one way or the other,” She admitted.

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t remember what I need to remember,” She confessed, brokenly, “Tyrion thinks I need to consider the possibility of stepping out of school this semester.”

Jon considered her for a moment. She looked young, and vulnerable the way she did when he first brought her home from the hospital.

“What do you think about it?” She asked him.

“That’s something only you can decide, Dany,” He started, “You may not realize it right now, but you know what is best for you.”

“I’m scared,” She admitted to his surprise, “Scared of giving it up.”

“That’s alright, love, that’s the only time you can be brave.”

She smiled at him then and seemed to be trying to hold back tears and so he looked away from her in an effort to give her some privacy.

“You need to rest, you’re sick,” Dany said, turning her attention back to the T.V. flustered by her moment of vulnerability. Jon nodded, and pulled his blanket tighter around him. He watched her as she watched T.V. and his mind drifted to the last time he was sick enough to stay home from work. She had been there that day too, except she had been sick as well. Miserable and feverish, the two of them had spent the whole day spooning on this very couch. Jon glanced at her again, as he felt his eyes get heavy, and he drifted to sleep remembering how it felt to hold her in his arms.


	20. Baby (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't feel quite as confident about this chapter, but I hope it pulls some heartstrings

Dany flexed the fingers of her right hand for the first time in weeks. It felt strange to have movement in her hand again. She could drive a car again. Jon had called her yesterday and informed her that her check from her insurance had finally arrived in the mail. She was standing on her balcony now, waiting for Jon to drop her mail off which was still being delivered to him. Dany had avoided Jon the first few days after he recovered from his illness, suddenly feeling shy towards him in a way that she did not quite understand. After their fight that day when she left him, she knew her shyness had stemmed from fear, having assumed that he would be angry with her, as Daario would have been. Now as she waited for him on her porch, she felt a different sort of shyness, not born of fear, but something else that she could not quite identify. Dany did not remember ever being particularly shy before the accident. Maybe she should bring it up with Tyrion at their next session? Dany rolled her eyes at herself, how had she become one of those people who had to run all of their feelings by their therapist? Maybe she would not say anything after all, she thought stubbornly.

           Jon’s car pulled up just as Sansa was walking out of the apartment. She smiled that irritating smile that she always had when it came to anything concerning Jon and Dany.

“What’s Jon doing here?”

“He’s dropping off my mail,” Dany explained as they watched Jon bound up the steps.

“Hey, Sans, Dany,” Jon greeted, giving Sansa a hug, and handing Dany her stack of mail.

“Thank you,” Dany said softly.

“You got your cast off,” He noticed with a smile.

“Yes.”

“I am sure that feels liberating.”

“Yes.”

Sansa looked between Dany and Jon.

“Tomorrow night Robb and Marge are coming over for dinner, you should come Jon. Missy and Grey will be there too I think, won’t they Dany?” Sansa said, and Dany glared at her.

“Yes, I believe they will be.”

“You really should come Jon, it will be fun,” Sansa urged.

Jon looked at Dany for a moment as if seeking her reaction, and Dany bit her lip and smiled at him.

“Alright,” Jon said after another moment, “Do you need me to bring anything?”

“No, just yourself,” Sansa said, before continuing on her way down to her car.

            Dany glanced back at Jon who was still standing there. He looked uncomfortable.

“I know what Sansa’s playing at,” he said, “I don’t have to come tomorrow night, if you prefer that I didn’t.”

 _Did she want him to come?_ It was not a big deal, it was not as if it were a couple’s party, Sansa was single. She been told that they all used to have dinner together all the time. It would be good, wouldn’t it?

“Of course, you should come Jon,” Dany assured him.

“Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow,” with that said Jon left and Dany took her mail and her feelings inside.

           

            The next day, after a particularly frustrating class, Dany went to work. She was anxious about tonight, and was anxious about class, and she was anxious about the future. Dany knew she had to step away from school for the semester, but she still struggled to come to terms with it. If she had to repeat this semester, it would set her back nearly a year. She would not graduate with Sansa as originally planned, and she would not have the security that a law degree would provide her. She wanted to keep trying, but she was failing.

            Dany sat down at her desk to continue her research for Professor Varys. This at least, she excelled at, and made her feel in control. She would lose this too if she quit school, she was a graduate assistant, she could not work for the University if she was no longer going to class.

“Miss Targaryen,” Professor Varys summoned. She actually very rarely saw Varys, usually only interacting with his secretary, but Dany had developed a fondness for the peculiar man. Dany went into his office.

“I’ve heard from a little bird that you are struggling in your classes.”

Dany was not entirely sure how the man always seemed to know what was going on outside his cloistered office doors.

“Yes, sir,” was all Dany could think to say.

“You do realize that your employment here would terminate should you fail out of your classes?”

“Yes, sir,” Dany said again, “My therapist and I have been discussing the possibility of my stepping away from classes this semester ad focusing on rebuilding my life.”

Varys nodded thoughtfully, but kept his eyes down studying the papers on his desk.

“Do you know why I hired you, Miss Targaryen?”

Dany shook her head. Of course, she did not know, she wanted to scream at him, how could she remember such a thing, when she could not even remember her fiancé?

“When I asked you why you were getting a degree in law,” Varys still did not look at her, “You told me that you wanted to protect people who could not protect themselves, to serve justice to those who took advantage of the innocent, and while those may be flowery words, everyday you showed up to class and work you proved them. Being a lawyer was never about the money or prestige for you,” He looked at her then, “It was always about helping people.”

            Dany felt tears well in her eyes, tears of weeks’ worth of frustrations. Varys glanced back down at the papers on his desk.

“Miss Targaryen, when you leave here today, I want you to go to the registrar’s office and drop your classes, you will be of no good to those people you want to help if you flunk out of this program.”

“But…” Dany started to protest.

“In the meantime, between now and when class resumes in the Spring semester, I am willing to hire you as a private research assistant, at the same pay rate, for the same amount of work.”

“Professor Varys, I don’t know what to say…” Dany was floored.

“Don’t say anything,” Varys said, nonchalantly, “I would like to finish writing my book one day in the foreseeable future, and it would be most inconvenient to lose my best research assistant. That will be all Miss Targaryen.”

As Dany left his office, she sniffed back tears, and resolved within herself to do what had to be done to a get a hold on her life again. She could be brave.

 

            Signing the papers to drop her class was one of the hardest things she remembered doing, even after Professor Varys’ reassuring words. It meant letting go of the tight grip of control she had on her future plans and focusing solely on what she needed in the present to get better. Feeling resolved, but somewhat emotionally compromised after making her monumental decision, Dany made her way toward home. She groaned inwardly as she remembered that she and Sansa had made dinner plans. Guests were coming over. Jon would be there. She really did not want to see anyone, but she was stuck as they were all coming to her home.

            When she walked through the door, Marge and Robb were already there sitting on the couch, and to her surprise Ghost met her at the door which meant Jon was there somewhere too. Instead of immediately greeting everyone, Dany dropped to her knees and hugged Ghost, burying her face in his white fur.

“Hello, sweet boy,” She whispered to him, and the dog let her cling to him as if he knew she needed a moment to gather herself. When she stood up she found Jon’s eyes on her with a tender look on his face that she was completely unprepared for. Dany looked away from him and continued to the kitchen to help Sansa finish cooking.

“How can I help, Sans?”

Sansa took one look at her and seemed to know something was off, “You alright?”

“Yes of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Dany brushed off her concern.

“Missy and Grey should be here any minute,” Sansa said, though she did not seem convinced that Dany was alright, “Let’s start taking things to the table.”

Sansa handed Dany a bowl of salad, and they went into the dining area, which was really just a small section of the living room. Robb and Marge were a fun and animated couple. Robb told them all a funny story of him and Jon when they had been teenagers, which set Jon to blushing. Dany had to smile at that even though she felt like the walls were closing in around her. Jon, _damn him_ , knew her too well and every so often glanced at her with concern in his eyes. Once they got all the food out, and began making their plates, Missy and Grey arrived. Dany felt relief wash over her, happy to see her best friend who had seen her through so many heartaches. When Dany turned to face her, however her eyes fixed on Mssandei’s mid-section which had finally begun to show her baby-bump, and the blouse she wore made her look definitively pregnant. Dany’s heart dropped to the floor and she continued to fill her plate.

They sat down to dinner and Dany felt herself shrinking even more into her head, but she tried to remain attentive to the conversations swirling around her.

“Arya may be coming on the trip after all, but she wants to bring Gendry,” Sansa stated. Missandei had asked about their ski trip coming up in December, which had directed the conversation to a few logistics. Dany had forgotten about the ski trip.

“That’s fine,” Marge said, “The cabin has plenty of room.”

“I thought it only had three rooms?” Robb asked.

“There is a loft with a pullout bed in it that we can either put Dany and Sansa, or Jon.” Jon did not seem surprised that they were still planning on bringing her on their sibling trip, which meant Sansa and Marge had discussed it with him.

“I can sleep in the loft since there is only one of me, and two of them,” Jon volunteered.

“Then that’s settled,” Marge exclaimed happily.

            Dany drifted in and out of the conversation, feeling like she had very little to contribute to a group that had so much history together. History that she could not remember.

“So, Missy, when are you and Grey due?” Robb suddenly asked, drawing attention to Missandei’s pregnancy.

“We’re due in just under five months,” Missandei said in that quiet way she had as she placed her hand on her little bump. Dany felt her breath catch in her throat, but she pushed the emotions aside not wanting to cause a scene in front of her sweet friend. When she looked up again, Jon was looking at her. _Gods, why couldn’t he just stop looking at her like that?_

            After dinner, Dany, Jon, and Robb cleared the table, while Sansa put food away, and they sent Missy, Grey and Marge to choose a movie. Marge had wanted to play games, but Robb had, thankfully, suggested a movie instead, as it was a weeknight, and everyone was likely tired from work. Had Dany been the hugging type, she would have hugged him. Dany walked into the living after finishing clean up, they had gotten the movie started. Robb and Marge were getting comfortable together on the floor. Sansa was on the smaller couch with a place saved for her. The recliner had been saved for Jon, whom she assumed had taken Ghost outside. Then her eyes fixed on Missandei and Grey on the sofa. Grey had his arm around Missy, and his hand was gently stroking her baby bump. For a moment, Dany could not breath, and so she calmly excused herself, saying that she was going to retrieve her blanket from her room, and that they should keep the movie playing.

            As she made her escape toward her room, Dany nearly ran straight into Jon who was coming out of the bathroom with Ghost on his heels.

“Sorry, Dany,” He excused himself, and Dany diverted her eyes from his, “You alright?” he asked.

Dany nodded, not saying anything, though she knew Tyrion would scold her for not speaking, if he knew.

“Dany?” Jon asked again. He bent a little trying to catch her eye, but she would not let him.

“I’m just going to get my blanket,” She said, with only a slight tremor to her voice. Jon touched her shoulder, but she moved toward her room. Dany groaned when he followed her.

“Dany, what is it?” Jon asked once again in her room.

“I’m fine,” Dany whispered, not wanting to draw anyone else’s attention, luckily the movie was playing so loud she imagined it masked any voices from carrying down the hall. Dany turned her back to Jon. She heard the door click closed, and jumped when she felt his strong, warm hand on the small of her back.

“You promised no more in and out, remember?” He said, “What is it?”

Dany bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. Gods, she did not want to cry in front of him again.

“I dropped my classes today,” She whispered.

“I’m sorry, Dany, I know that was a difficult decision for you,” Jon said, “I’m proud of you.”

Dany felt a traitorous tear slide escape. She could not remember anyone ever telling her they were proud of her, no one that truly mattered anyway.

“You probably don’t want all of us here, making it harder for you,” Jon said.

“No, that’s not it,” Dany hated how small her voice sounded.

“Would you like me to go get Missy for you?” Jon offered, and then Dany let out a harsh sob.

“No,” and for the first time she did not want Missandei. Tears seemed completely out of her control now. He reached for her again, but she flinched away. The hurt look in his eyes broke her even more. _Jon is not Drogo_ , she reminded herself. She released another harsh sob.

“I am really happy for her, you know?” Dany cried, and understanding dawned on Jon’s face. Slowly, hesitantly, Jon reached for her again, and this time she fell into his arms and wept. Dany saw her bedroom door open to reveal Sansa’s concerned face, but Dany buried her face against Jon’s solid chest, and felt him wave Sansa away. They sat down on her bed, and Jon held her, letting her expend her tears. Somehow, after a while of sobs and silence, they had sunk onto the bed together, laying side by side, her back against his chest, and his arm tight around her waist, grounding her. They did not have talk. He knew, and she found that both comforting and terrifying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to add another session with tyrion to the end of this chapter but this felt like the appropriate place to end it for now.
> 
> Next Chapter: Dany and Tyrion talk about her trust issues, and her infertility, and Dany and Jon have a frank conversation on the day that they were supposed to get married.


	21. Redefining (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains Dany's session with Tyrion
> 
> I decided I wanted the wedding day discussion take place from Jon's POV, so that will come in the next chapter, sorry for the delay there.

The morning after Dany cried herself to sleep in Jon’s arms, she woke feeling a renewed sense of purpose. She no longer had to attend class and so her day was hers, and as she had an appointment with Tyrion this afternoon, she also did not have to go to work. There was a flower district not far from Sansa’s apartment that Dany determined that she would take a long walk and find today. Ever since Tyrion had told her that walking was good for her, joking that it might “jog” her memory, Dany had tried to walk a little every day. Once she had gotten lost and nearly panicked before remembering that her GPS on her phone could give walking directions as well as driving directions. Walking made her feel more independent and more in control as she embarked on new treks and refamiliarized herself with the town of Winterfell. As she donned her long coat, and pulled a warm knit hat over her head, she headed out the door. Her phone buzzed. It was a text from Robb, which surprised her.

 _“Hey, I just wanted to offer that anytime you are ready to go look for a new car, Marge and I would be happy to go with you, Jon can come too if you want,”_ The text read. Dany frowned, her immediate suspicion being that Jon had put him up to this, but then she softened as she thought about the Starks. They saw her as a sister, as a member of their pack, and they looked out for each other, in a way that Dany had never known. She felt honored, and a little overwhelmed, to be included in their pack, even after everything had gone awry between her and Jon.

            Dany sighed as she walked toward the flower shops, thinking about Jon. Sansa had told her that he had held her until she had fallen asleep, and then had extricated himself from the bed and headed home. When she first woke this morning, she had been embarrassed at her emotional display last night, and embarrassed that she had fallen asleep with him still holding her. Dany had almost called him this morning to apologize, but had stopped herself, as she was not entirely sure what she would have been apologizing for. Sometimes the way Jon looked at her, and the way he handled her, made her feel vulnerable and exposed in a way she had never felt. It was not the kind of vulnerability that she had experienced at the hands of Viserys and Drogo, that had made her feel powerless and weak. No. Jon made her feel vulnerable, but it was different, in a way that she could not quite understand. She rolled her eyes at herself, it was just another conundrum that she knew Tyrion would want to sort out. Dany, however, was not overly thrilled about pressing too deeply into the issues of her past. She wanted her memory back, she did not want to deal with the complicated baggage that she carried around with her from all the dysfunctional relationships of her life.

            Dany found the flower shops relatively easily the blooms having been brought from the finest green houses of the north. During the spring and summer, the countryside was filled with flowers but during the autumn and winter months at Winterfell, the flower district was one of the only places to find such natural beauties. Finding a coffee shop with a good view of the flowers, Dany closed her eyes and picked a coffee to try. She sat down with her warm beverage and took out a journal. Tyrion had prompted her to write things down, things she thought about, things she wanted to process in therapy, and things she might remember about the past four years. She had begun a list of things.

She remembered fighting with Daario sometime in the week before her memory began to fade.

She remembered they fought about her coming to Winterfell with Sansa for Christmas.

She remembered that Jon was Sansa’s cousin though she could not remember meeting him.

She remembered that her favorite blanket smelled like Jon and that is why she loved it so much.

Blue winter roses were her favorite flower, but after thinking about it she could not remember ever seeing them in Kings Landing, and so she must have developed her love for them in the missing years after she had moved to Winterfell.

            Dany looked at where she had scratched off _First Date with Jon at Winterfell Pier_ from her list. There were times since her accident and seeing the photograph from their first date, that Dany believed she remembered it. There was an odd sense of familiarity with the moment that had been captured on film that she could not put her finger on. Yet, she could not decide if she remembered the date, or if she was simply desperate to cling to something of her past with Jon. She had scratched it from her list, however, believing that her mind was playing tricks on her, believing that she only thought she remembered because Jon had told her the story. Still, the photo tugged at her in a way the other photos had not. She wanted to believe that she remembered it, but just because she wanted something to be true did not mean that it was.

            Dany sighed and looked out at the flower shops again. She finished her coffee and then sent Robb a text saying that she would love to go with him and Marge to look at cars this weekend if they were up for it, and then she started her trek home, as she would need to get ready to go to therapy. Walking up to her apartment, she saw Jon sitting on the stairs. He sprung up when he saw her.

“What have you been up too?” He asked with a grin.

“Walking,” Dany explained, puzzled by his presence here, “You?”

“Oh, I got here a little earlier than I meant too, but I finished up work sooner than I thought I would so I did not want to go all the way home.”

“Okay,” was all Dany could think to say.

“Do you need to go inside first, or are you ready?” Jon asked.

“Ready?” Dany asked.

“To go to therapy?”

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Oh, uh, sorry, Sansa called me this morning and said you needed a ride to therapy and that she couldn’t take you today,” Jon raked his hand through his hair, “Did she not tell you?”

Dany had to chuckle, _did Sansa really think they were that oblivious to her schemes?_ “No, she did not tell me.”

Jon raked his hand through his hair again.

“Your hair is going to fall out if you keep pulling at it like that,” Dany teased him, trying to diffuse the awkwardness that had fallen upon them. He laughed, almost nervously.

“Well, uh, I guess, I will take you whenever you are ready,” Jon said, with an endearing blush to his cheeks. Dany did not know whether to resent or thank Sansa for her meddling.

“Alright, let me go put these away,” Dany indicated the flowers she had purchased and her journal. Jon nodded and she could feel his eyes on her as she bounded up the stairs. _Was he checking out her backside?_ Dany almost giggled.

            After putting away her flowers and journal, she returned to find Jon standing by the car.

“Would you like to drive?” He asked, smiling at her. Dany halted. She had not driven since the accident. She instinctively flexed the fingers of her right hand. “You don’t have to if you don’t want too,” He quickly added seeing her hesitation.

“No, no,” Dany said coming to get into the driver’s seat, “I just… it feels like it’s been so long since I’ve driven a car, I’m kind of nervous to be behind the wheel again.”

“Come on,” Jon grinned, “There is nothing to be nervous about, you have always been a good driver.”

“The last time I drove a car I was in an accident,” Dany said with a rueful laugh.

“Well, yes, but the accident was not your fault.”

Dany nodded then, not sure what else to say. She looked over at the passenger side as Jon made to get in, he shifted some wood carvings around preparing to move them to the back seat.

“Those are pretty,” Dany commented, seeing the pretty floral design carved into one of the pieces.

“Oh thanks, I’m carving them to attach to some shelving Robb, and I are building for Aunt Cat.”

Dany examined the wood then casually put it to the side, as she started the car.

“I had a jewelry box once that had a similar pattern,” She said. She did not know what had happened to that jewelry box, but she had been fond of it. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jon give her a peculiar look that she could not decipher.

            At the first motion of the wheels, Dany found herself a bit hesitant and drove rather slow for the first couple of miles, which Jon seemed to find amusing.

“What?” She asked, seeing him smirk.

“Well, you may have been a good driver before, but you were also a very fast driver,” he chuckled.

“Would you like me to go faster?” Dany asked him, feigning impatience.

“No, no, you go whatever speed you like, you are the driver today.”

Dany gave him a smug smile and he laughed. She liked his laugh.

            When they pulled up into the parking lot of Dr. Lannister’s office, Dany parked the car and turned to Jon.

“Thank you for bringing me, I appreciate it.”

“What are you talking about? You brought yourself,” Jon grinned at her. They got out of the car to swap places, “Sansa said she would pick you up,” Jon said.

“Alright,” Dany grabbed her purse and made to leave but turned around before he had a chance to close his car door, “Hey, listen, uh…”

“Yes?”

“Robb and Marge offered to take me car shopping, would you, um, like to come? I thought we might go this Saturday,” Dan asked him. A shadow seemed to pass over his face that she could not understand.

“Uh, I’ll think about it and let you know,” He said after a few seconds of silence.

“Oh, okay,” Dany felt strangely deflated by his response, “Thanks again.”

“No problem.”

           

            “So, I was returning from my lunch break when I happened to see you being dropped off here by a young man,” Tyrion smiled at her as they got settled.

“Yes,” Dany could not help but smile in return, “That was Complicated Jon.”

“I’m glad to see Complicated Jon still around,” Tyrion said nonchalantly, “Are you glad he is still around?”

“Yes, I suppose,” Dany tried to sound casual. Tyrion chuckled as if he knew some secret that he was not going to share with her.

“Have you and Jon been seeing more of each other?”

“I suppose.”

“Dany, that response is almost as bad as nodding,” Tyrion said. Dany had to refrain from rolling her eyes.

“Yes, we have seen a little more of each other since we decided to be friends,” Dany said in a complete and irritated sentence.

“Can you tell me about the quality of these interactions?”

“They’ve been good so far,” Dany said looking at the floor, “I think there is still some awkwardness that maybe needs to be worked out.”

“The awkwardness you and he feel around each other I am sure stems from the fact that prior to the traumatic event, you, whether you can remember or not, were in an intense emotional and physical relationship, which was quite violently ripped away from you both post traumatic event,” Tyrion explained, “The awkwardness will likely begin to dissipate as you begin to redefine your relationship based on your current realities.”

Dany nodded.

“Have you given any thought to how you would like yours and Complicated Jon’s relationship to be redefined based on your current reality?”

Anytime Dany thought of her current reality with Jon, her thoughts seemed to be rudely interrupted by the fact that she could not give him a baby. She had decided she wanted Jon to be a part of her current reality, but she felt selfish for wanting anything more. She could not remember what seemed to be a beautiful past with him, and she could not give him the future he deserved.

“You are being rather uncommunicative today,” Tyrion stated, and Dany could not tell if he was joking or not.

“I want Jon to be a part of my life,” Dany said, and hesitated. She had not told Tyrion everything, and she was not too keen on telling him now, as she was not sure what kind of doors of conversation she would be opening.

“But?” Tyrion pressed.

“But,” Dany sighed deeply, “It seems unfair to him.”

“How so?”

“He has all of these beautiful memories of our life together, memories that sound like some kind of fairy tale I might have dreamed up when I was a little girl, but I can’t remember any of them,” Dany explained, feeling her tongue finally loosening, “No matter how many warm fuzzy feelings I get when he is around, he still feels like a very new person to me, someone I’m getting to know, and I am enjoying getting to know him, but he still looks at me and sees all of those memories that I don’t have anymore.”

“Have the two of your discussed this?”

“No, I mean, I think I alluded to it as I shouted at him before leaving him alone in our apartment and moving in with Sansa, but we have not actually discussed it.”

“Perhaps, this is something you ought to articulate to him? Especially if you do want the redefinition of your relationship to be of a romantic variety?”

“It’s not that simple,” Dany sighed and studied the carpet under her feet.

“Why not?” Tyrion asked, sincerely.

“Because…because….” Dany stammered, not wanting to say it.

“Because?”

“Because I’m… I’m infertile,” Dany whispered, feeling a strange sense of shame flush her cheeks. Tyrion was silent for a few beats, and so she continued, “So not only can I not remember our past together, I also cannot give him the future he deserves.”

“And how do you know you are infertile?”

“We, Jon and I, had apparently been trying to have a baby for nearly a year and a half, after I was diagnosed,” Dany explained, and then proceeded to relate to Tyrion the story of that awful night when she had found the pregnancy tests under the bathroom sink at their apartment.

“And have you discussed with Jon, how the two of you were handling this situation before the accident?” Tyrion asked.

“No, it’s not exactly an easy thing to talk about with someone who feels so new,” Dany explained, though she could not bring herself to call Jon a stranger anymore, “I was scared.”

“And what were you scared of?”

Dany sighed, “It’s a long story.”

“Well, luckily, I have money riding on our sitting in this room for another 45 minutes.”

Dany chuckled at that and nodded.

“I’ve been pregnant before with…Drogo,” Dany started. Tyrion nodded in encouragement. “I lost the baby.” Dany proceeded to explain the shame, heartache and loneliness in the days following her miscarriage, “Drogo blamed me, told me it was my fault and looked at me with so much disappointment afterward. Drogo had been cruel to me before I got pregnant, but he was even worse after I miscarried…I was actually relieved when he died.” Dany had to pause there to regain her composure, willing herself not to let any unwanted tears spill. Tyrion remained quiet for a few moments which she was thankful for, the moment had grown heavy, heavier then any of their sessions thus far.

“Can you tell me in your own words, how you believe this event relates to yours and Jon’s relationship?” He finally asked.

“I am afraid that Jon…would…” Dany search for the words, feeling lost, “I’m afraid that Jon would resent me for it…for not being able to give him a baby.”

“Do you think some of that fear may come from the fact that you don’t know how the two of you were coping with this before the accident?”

“Maybe.”

“Daenerys, I know this is easier for me to say, than it is to really understand,” Tyrion began sounding more serious then she had ever heard him, “But your value as a human being does not rest on whether or not you can produce a child.”

Dany felt tears prick her eyes. The dwarf handed her a box of tissue.

“I keep those around for when we get into the really deep shit,” He chuckled, which diffused the tension, and Dany smiled in spite of herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been in therapy so I am always a little hesitant about how Dany and Tyrion's session should play out, I hope it is coming across in a realistic way.


	22. Complicated (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading and commenting! 
> 
> I am kinda nervous about this one, but I hope you all like it!

Jon drove away from dropping Dany off at therapy not knowing whether he should be honored or offended that the one thing Dany remembered about him was that damn jewelry box he had built her. Granted, she did not seem to remember that he built it, but it was something. He should have told her, but the comment had taken him so off guard that he had not known what to say. The moment had been soured, however, when she asked him to go car shopping with her on Saturday. He knew it was unfair of him to hope that she might recall what day that was, as if it were as important to her as it was to him. Saturday was the original date of their wedding, and car shopping with his former fiancée, Robb, and Marge was not how he had pictured spending that day. He should have told her that too. He knew she had not meant to be insensitive, she was not trying to hurt him, but gods, it felt like she had slapped him. Instead of driving straight home, Jon decided to stop at Sam and Gilly’s place. Sam had a way of talking sense into him, whenever he felt like his world was spiraling out of control, and Gilly was always eager to feed him.

            Immediately upon walking in the door, Little Sam eagerly crawled up to him. Jon laughed.

“You are not fooling anyone, little guy, we all know you can walk,” Jon scooped Little Sam up, and gave him a little toss in the air before catching him again, in the way he had seen Ned do to his young cousins growing up. The baby laughed.

“Dinner is almost ready, Jon, you go and wash your hands,” Gilly said, like the mother that she was, as she took Little Sam out of Jon’s arms to place him in his high chair. Jon nodded and did as he was told. They all sat down to the type of dinner Jon remembered having at the Starks growing up, with the sound of baby noises, laughter, and a sense of peace and security.

“So, you took Dany to therapy this afternoon?” Sam breached the subject, which Jon had mentioned on the phone on his way over.

“Yes.”

“How is she doing? Is she remembering anything yet?” Gilly asked.

“I don’t know honestly, haven’t felt right about asking her,” Jon admitted, “Do you remember that jewelry box I built for her, with the winter roses carved on the top?”

Both Gilly and Sam nodded.

“She mentioned it this afternoon.”

“Really?”

“I don’t think she remembers that I made it though.”

“I’ve read studies that show that in some cases amnesia patients don’t regain their memory all at one time, but rather in snapshots, or in pieces,” Sam acknowledged. Jon nodded.

“I’ve heard something similar,” Jon agreed. Dany had randomly texted him something along those lines not long ago. It had been a random text, and completely unexplained, and she had offered him no context so he never brought it up.

“Have the two of you talked about anything? What with Saturday coming up and all?” Gilly asked, gently, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“No, there is still a lot of awkwardness between us right now,” Jon said, “Last night, I had dinner at her house with Sansa, Robb and Marge and Missy and Grey.”

“Oh?” Sam urged, “How did that go?”

Jon rubbed the back of his neck, not wanting to betray the confidence Dany had placed in him last night, by talking about her moment of vulnerability with his friends, and so he tried to skirt around the details.

“Most of the dinner was fine, though she seemed quiet, I think it is a little overwhelming for her sometimes to be around all these people who know her so well,” Jon explained, “I think, for obvious reasons, she was having a bit of a hard time last night with Missy being pregnant.”

“That’s understandable,” Gilly said, with that sympathetic smile she often got, before she turned her attention back to her own baby, as if she did not want to take a single moment with the child for granted.

“Have the two of you…um-uh, talked…much,” Sam started, his face turning red, “I mean…talked much about-about that, I mean.” Jon glanced over at Little Sam and gave the baby a smile.

“No, not much,” Jon briefly thought back to the night of Dany’s accident.

“Well, I think the way the two of you have danced around each other the way you have, is ridiculous,” Gilly stated firmly. Gilly was sweet and kind, but every so often she surprised everyone with her bluntness. Jon enjoyed that about her, and was one of the reasons she had made such an excellent match for Sam.

“She wants me to go car shopping with her, Robb and Marge on Saturday.”

“You should go,” Sam said.

“Oh, Jon…” Gilly said sadly, understanding the implications of his words.

“The last thing I want to be doing on that day is car shopping,” Jon snapped, a little harsher then he meant.

“I know, I know it will be hard,” Sam started in his kind stuttering way that he had when he had something important to say, “It will be hard, given what day that is, but this is the first time since leaving that she has actually asked for your company, isn’t it?”

“Well, I mean, she’s asked for rides, and she came over to the house and stayed for a bit that day I was sick,” Jon said.

“Yes, but… this is the first time she has asked for your company, not just because she needed something from you.”

“Yes, I suppose it is.”

“She doesn’t need you there to pick out a car,” Sam continued, “She wants you there, I think that is a big step, don’t you?”

“Yes, I suppose it is,” Jon repeated.

“I know it will be hard, complicated and messy,” Sam said, and as if on cue Little Sam flung some food across his high chair, “But if you aren’t willing to deal with a little bit of mess, then why are you trying to remain a part of her life?”

Sam’s words burned him, mainly because he knew they were true.

“You’re right,” Jon admitted.

“You should go on Saturday, and if it is hard for you, tell her,” Sam said, “It’s not like her first week out of the hospital. She’s not breakable, I think the two of you will get a lot further by being honest with each other than by tiptoeing around each other.”

Jon remembered what he made her promise when they had decided to be friends. _Together_.

 

            On Friday, Jon and Shireen had talked for a little over an hour about how the little girl felt about her foster family. He had saved his visit with her for the last one of his day, knowing that she needed to verbalize more then most of his clients did. Even though she seemed fond of her foster family, telling him that her foster mother always took her for ice-cream on Fridays after school and even tucked the blankets around her at bedtime like in a story book, Jon could tell Shireen was hesitant to allow herself to become to emotionally invested in her foster family, because she knew it was not a permanent situation. Being a child, she did not know how to say that, but Jon understood.

“Is someone going to adopt me, Jon?” Shireen asked him suddenly, as Jon was packing up his briefcase. Jon’s head snapped up. She had never asked him about being adopted so straightforwardly.

“I am working on finding the perfect family for you,” Jon said, not wanting to make false promises.

“I read an article online that talked about how most people want to adopt babies,” Shireen said calmly. The resignation in her voice broke him, “You don’t have to lie to me, to not hurt my feelings,” she said as she sat down beside his briefcase and looked up at him. The grown-up edge to her voice shattered him further, this sweet little girl deserved a peaceful, permanent home, in which she would be allowed to be a child again. Jon squatted down in front of her so that he was eye level with her sitting on the couch.

“I won’t lie to you Shireen,” He started, “It is more common for people to adopt babies.” Shireen nodded her understanding.

“But people do adopt children as well,” Jon continued, “I have even seen families adopt teenagers.”

Shireen nodded again.

“We just have to find the right family for you,” Jon explained. Shireen then gave him a shy, girlish smile.

“Why don’t you adopt me?” She asked. Jon felt winded, as if someone had punched him in the stomach. Jon tried to smooth the comment over.

“Well, for one, I would have to stop being your social worker because that would be what is called a conflict of interest,” He laughed, offering her his hand to help her up off the couch.

“Davos seemed nice, couldn’t he be my social worker?”

“Yes, I suppose he could,” Jon chuckled as she walked him to the door.

“So, what’s the problem?” Shireen looked up at him with bright blue, innocent eyes.

“I don’t think the government would let me adopt you right now,” Jon said, even as he knew he needed to extricate himself from this conversation. If he and Dany had been getting married tomorrow, could they have adopted Shireen? He would never know, “You deserve a home sooner rather than later.”

“I could wait,” She assured him. Jon gave her a gentle smile.

“Everything is going to work out for you, Shireen, I promise,” He said, though he knew he should not be making promises. Shireen nodded then, her eyes becoming a little watery. As Jon left, he had to stop himself from running back and telling her that he would love to be her father, that they would figure out a way to make it work, but he knew that he could not. He and Dany were not in a place right now to consider adoption. He did not even know if Dany wanted to be with him as any thing other than a friend. No, Shireen needed immediate solutions, he could not make her wait for a family simply because he could not adopt yet.

            Jon stopped by the office before heading home to his quiet Friday night, to drop off some paper work. He saw Davos was still in his office, when he walked back toward their cubicles.

“Davos, you still here?” Jon called.

“Yes, just finishing up,” Davos answered, “What are you doing back?”

“I just wanted to drop some paperwork by, to make sure it got where it needed to be before Monday.”

Davos nodded.

“I just came from Shireen’s,” Jon said, sighing deeply.

“Oh? How did that go?”

“She asked me if I could adopt her.”

Davos nodded, and pulled a chair up in front of Jon’s desk to listen.

“I would too, you know I would if I could.”

“I know,” Davos said, understanding in his eyes, “I can’t deny that Shireen’s situation has been often on my mind.”

“I’ve dealt with hard cases before, but for some reason Shireen’s case feels like it’s breaking my heart,” Jon admitted.

“Some cases are just different than others, and sometimes there is no reason for it, it’s the nature of our work,” Davos explained, “Sometimes, though, our personal lives do affect our cases, and we should not ignore that in ourselves.”

“She reminds me of Dany sometimes, bright, energetic, understanding,” Jon said, feeling a tightening in his chest, “If Dany were to have a daughter…I could imagine her being something like Shireen.” That thought made his chest feel hollow.

“If this case is hitting to close to home, Jon, we can put another social worker on it,” Davos said firmly, “There is no reason to torture yourself.”

“No,” Jon said quickly, “I just want to find her a permanent home, with a good family sooner rather than later.”

Davos nodded, and gave him a significant smile that Jon did not understand, “I think that will be taken care of sooner then either of us had imagined.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I am not at liberty to say yet, but you will be the first to know, once I am,” Davos said, “Now, go home, Jon, and get some rest.”

 

            Saturday morning came and Jon groaned as he got out of bed. He had two missed texts from Dany and one from Robb.

The first one from Dany read, _“We are leaving at 10 if you want to come with us.”_ Jon looked at the time. It was 9, plenty of time to get ready and meet them at the apartment. The next text from her read, _“Are you coming?”_ Jon wondered what she was doing up so early on a Saturday morning. He opened the text from Robb, which read, _“I don’t think she knows what day it is, I can smooth it over if you don’t want to come.”_ Robb’s offer was tempting, but Jon felt it would be a little cowardly to allow his cousin to deal with this situation. Jon thought about Sam’s words, about being honest with each other. Car shopping may be the last thing he wanted to do today, but he began to ready himself for the day, resolving that whatever mess he got himself into today, they were going to work it out together.

            By the time Jon reached Dany and Sansa’s apartment, his mood had not improved. When he entered the apartment, however, he could not help but smile as he saw Dany standing in the kitchen with Sansa. They had apparently been baking. Dany had flour smudged across her cheek, and all over her hands. As she laughed with Sansa, Jon did not think he had seen her so relaxed since long before the accident, maybe since before they had started trying to get pregnant. When her eyes found him, her face lit up in an infectious smile that took his breath away.

“You alright there, Jon?” Robb’s teasing voice asked him from the couch. Jon cleared his throat and turned to see Marge and Robb grinning like fools at him from where they were sitting on the couch in the living area. Jon almost raked his hand through his hair before remembering he had pulled most of it back into a knot at the back of his head. Dany was approaching him now, with a baked item in her hand.

“Here,” She said, offering him both the pastry and a shy smile, “Sansa taught me how to make lemon cakes.” He had to chuckle at that.

“Only Sansa would teach people to make lemon cakes for breakfast,” Jon said.

“Gods, you sound like mum,” Sansa teased, “What’s so wrong with lemon cakes for breakfast?”

“Do you want one?” Dany asked him and offered the cake to him once again. Jon looked into her eyes and nodded, taking the cake from her hand. Suddenly, she seemed unnerved and sauntered back into the kitchen. Robb came and clapped him on the shoulder, speaking low so only he could hear.

“Do I need to throw a bucket of ice water on you already?” Robb teased, and Jon rolled his eyes.

            It was well past 11 before they had cleaned up breakfast and gotten everyone rounded up into the car to head to the first used car dealership. Sansa had not had to work today and so had opted to come with them as well. Marge and Robb sat in the front seat of Robb’s car, and Jon, Sansa and Dany sat in the back. Dany sat between him and Sansa, as she was the shortest. They were a little crowded, and Jon could not decide if having Dany pressed up against his side made his mood better or worse, and so he was silent for most of the ride. Margaery chattered on about colors and types of cars, but Dany, the ever practical, made some comment about getting whatever car best matched her budget and needs. Sansa occasionally glanced at him over the top of Dany’s head, and grinned. Jon wondered when it was that his cousins had gotten so meddlesome.

            At the first lot they walked around with an obnoxious salesman for half an hour barely able to get a word in edgewise, but none of the cars suited Dany’s needs. They had to extricate themselves quite forcefully from the pushy salesman but managed to get back into the car to head to the next one. Margaery and Sansa seemed determined to fill every silence, and occasionally Dany giggled at something they said. Jon was dreadfully uncomfortable and reminded why he never went shopping with Sansa and Margaery. Robb every so often caught his eye in the rearview mirror, as if concerned that he might explode. The second car lot was a bit shoddier then the first, and the salesman was sleezier. They promptly left that lot after only a precursory look at the vehicles. They went to another and Robb and Dany test drove a car while Jon, Sansa and Margaery stayed at the dealership. When they returned, they both were skeptical.

“Not what I’m looking for,” Dany said simply to the salesman. Robb quietly told Jon that he thought there was something wrong with the engine. They got back in Robb’s car and headed toward the next destination.

            “I think we could use a coffee break!” Sansa exclaimed.

“Yes, coffee!” Margaery agreed. Robb groaned. Dany chuckled.

“We are on a mission,” He exclaimed.

“Missions are much more fun with coffee, Robb,” Margaery told him and kissed his cheek.

“Fine, you up for coffee, Jon?” Robb asked.

“Sure,” Jon said tersely, and Dany gave him a strange look. Their coffee break took ten minutes as they swung through a drive-thru and continued on their quest.

            Well after 4 p.m., everyone’s sunny dispositions had begun to melt away, Jon was tired and hungry and even moodier then he had been this morning. Sansa and Margaery had even grown quiet. Dany seemed tired and overwhelmed. Robb was the only one whose spirits had not tanked as he proclaimed that they had to go to at least one more lot before giving up for the day. When they pulled into Robb’s last stop, Jon saw Dany’s eyes light on a red and black jeep.

“Look at that one, Robb,” Dany said, her spirits seeming to have briefly returned.

“Want to try that one, then?” Robb laughed, “See? What did I tell you guys? it’s always the last stop!”

They parked and shuffled out. A pompous salesman sauntered over to them, and addressed Robb, barely giving Dany a second look. Jon felt his own temper flaring at the rudeness of the man, but Robb continually directed the questions back to Dany. Dany stood with her hands on her hips looking fiery but determined. Jon’s mouth twitched in a sad smile. After a few minutes of chatting with the salesman, Dany and Robb took the jeep for a test drive.

When they returned, the salesman seemed a little more interested in talking to Dany then before, now that she was demonstrating interest in purchasing the car.

“Would you give us a moment?” Dany asked the hovering salesman, who gracefully took himself to the other side of the lot to allow them to come to a decision.

“I think this is the one,” Dany said to them. Sansa and Margaery clapped excitedly.

“I think it is a good car for a good price,” Robb agreed.

“I may want to wait and sleep on it before making a final decision,” Dany said, softly and wisely, “What do you think, Jon?” her question took him off guard.

“Um, I think it is nice,” Jon offered. A flash of anger flickered across Dany’s face that he did not quite understand, before she turned back to Robb.

“Do you think it would be alright to come back tomorrow and get it?”

“Yes, I think that would be fine,” Robb said, and the two of them worked it out with the salesman, and the five of them corralled themselves back into Robb’s car.

            On their way back to Sansa and Dany’s apartment, they stopped and got take out for dinner which they planned to eat together at the house. In the car ride there Dany, still riding in the middle seat, kept herself as close to Sansa as possible, whereas before she had pressed close to Jon’s side. Jon was not sure why she had suddenly become so icy, but now was certainly not the moment to address it. Once parked, they all shuffled out and started to head up the stairs.

“I think I’m going to head out,” Jon said, not particularly wanting to go up to the apartment. Dany’s eyes met his and he saw anger there again. _What the hell did she have to be angry about?_

“Oh, Jon, why?” Sansa griped at him.

“Its alright if he needs to go, Sans,” Robb said, his eyes meeting Jon’s in understanding. Margaery looked between Robb and Jon, and realization seemed to dawn in her eyes as well.

“Ghost probably needs to be taken for a walk,” Margaery offered with a gentle smile, “Thanks for coming Jon.”

“Sure,” Jon said and made to turn away, as the others headed toward the apartment. A small hand on his arm, however, halted his retreat. Jon turned to see Dany standing there, while the others hustled away.

“Why are you being such a moody ass?” She demanded, fire in her eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Jon snapped, in spite of himself.

“You have hardly said five words together all day. I invited you today, because I wanted…wanted to spend time with you…and I thought you might want to spend time with me too,” Dany said, anger still flashing in her eyes, but there was a tremor of hurt in her voice, “You didn’t have too come if you didn’t want too.”

“You really have no idea, do you?” Jon said harshly, more harshly then he meant too.

“What are you talking about?” She flinched at his cold tone, but the fire did not leave her eyes.

“This wasn’t exactly the way I thought I’d be spending our wedding day together,” Jon bit back, “I knew I should have just stayed home and spared everyone from having to be around my moody ass.”

She blinked at him for a moment, and to his surprise, he saw her anger fade and a look of embarrassment clouded her pretty face.

“Oh, Jon,” Dany whispered, her eyes suddenly dropping to the pavement beneath their feet, “I’m sorry…I didn’t realize…I forgot….” She stammered, unable to bring her eyes to meet his. Jon cursed at himself for being so harsh. If this is what Sam had meant about this being messy, then they were certainly succeeding.

“Dany, look, I’m sorry,” Jon started, trying to find the right words, trying to give her the honesty that Sam had encouraged, “I… I did… want to spend time with you…that’s why I came, it was just…hard for me.”

“I feel so stupid for not remembering,” Dany confessed.

“No, love,” Jon reached out to touch her arms, which she shrugged off not seeming to want that at the moment, “It wasn’t fair of me to hope you’d feel about this day the same way I do, or to expect you to remember it the way I did.”

“I’m sorry, Jon,” she said, and finally raised her eyes to meet his.

“Oh, Dany, it’s not your fault,” He huffed out, feeling some strange amalgamation of frustration and pain in his chest.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Dany said, and seemed to gather her courage.

“Alright?”

“I’m sorry that we could not get married today,” She said firmly. Jon considered her for a moment, trying to understand what exactly she was trying to tell him.

“Tyrion and I were talking about you at my last session…” She trailed off.

“You and Tyrion seem to talk about me a lot?” Jon did not know whether to find that despairing or hopeful. She gave him a half smile.

“What I am trying to say is….” She trailed off again, seeming to search for the right words, “Gods, this is difficult,” she murmured. Jon leaned against his car and waited.

“I want to redefine our relationship,” Dany said, and Jon had no idea what she was trying to say.

“Okay?”

“I want to redefine our relationship in a…a romantic way,” She stumbled on the last words. Jon had to bite back a laugh at how clinical she made it sound, it was the same way she had sounded the first time he had ever asked her out all those years ago. He, however, did not know what to say this time. His silence seemed to cause her to reevaluate her statement.

“I mean…if you want too, redefine it romantically that is,” Dany stepped back from him, as if contemplating making a run for it, but she continued, “There is no pressure.”

“Dany…” he started to say, just as she took another step away from him, “Come back here,” he chuckled taking a step forward, and grabbing her hand, to halt the strange retreat she seemed to be trying to make.

She was trembling, as she looked up at him.

“I think I would like to redefine our relationship in a romantic way,” Jon said softly. Dany nodded then cursed at herself.

“I have to be honest,” She said and looked up at him again.

“Alright.”

“I need, I need to go slow,” She confessed with a deep breath, “I like you, Jon, I like you very much, but I know you…you are,…or were in love with me….I need you to understand that to me you still feel very new.”

Jon nodded trying to understand and trying not to interrupt her before she was finished.

“I can’t jump back into the relationship we had before the accident, I don’t have the same memories you do of us,” Dany said firmly, “And I am scared of…”

 _Gods, was she scared of him?_ Jon’s mind was reeling trying to figure out where she was going with this.

“I am scared that one day you might come to resent me for that,” She finally got out.

“Dany, it’s not your fault….”

“Wait…” She halted him, “I’m not finished.”

“Okay,” Jon felt impatience brewing within him, but he bit his tongue. _This was going to be messy indeed_.

“If our relationship were to go the same way that it did, I am scared that one day you would come to resent me too...if-if I never gave you a baby,” She said it with a big huff of breathe as if it was a burden that had been weighing on her shoulders for months. Jon reached for her, but she stood stock still waiting for him to respond.

“Dany, how many times do I have to tell you that my feelings for you are not dependent on whether or not you can have a baby?” He said sharply, his mind flashing to the night of her accident. She bristled. Jon immediately realized his mistake.

“Well, you are going to have to tell me at least one more time so that I can remember it!” She yelled. They stared at each other for a few silent seconds, before she smiled.

“I’m sorry,” she said, and he chuckled.

“It’s alright, love, I’m sorry too,” Jon said and reached for her hand again, this time pulling her close and cupping her face in his hands, “In the spirit of redefining our relationship in a romantic way, I’m going to kiss you now.”

Dany bit her lip and gave him a hesitant nod. Jon leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, soft and seeking. She responded sweetly opening her mouth to him just enough to deepen the kiss, but as Jon sank his hand into her hair, and wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her body flush against his, she tensed in his arms, and pressed the palm of her hand against his chest.

“Slowly,” she whispered, and pulled away from him. Jon nodded and let her go. _This was going to be messy indeed_.

“Also, I am afraid I should warn you,” Dany said, as she started to move toward the apartment stairs, “Tyrion wants to meet you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to let everyone know that I may not be able to post a chapter tomorrow due to my work schedule, since I usually update everyday, I did not want anyone to be concerned that I had given up. I will get back on schedule hopefully on Wednesday! 
> 
> Next Chapter: Navigating redefining a relationship


	23. Cradles (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank so much for your comments! They brighten my day as always! 
> 
>  
> 
> I wanted to get both a short Dany chapter and a short Jon chapter up today, but alas it was not to be. So here is a short Dany chapter to hopefully hold you all over until I can get the Jon chapter up tomorrow or Friday.

Dany woke in a cold sweat, dreams haunted once again by Drogo’s grasping hands and harsh words. She had not slept peacefully before or after Drogo. Though she had spent a few nights in bed with Jon the week after the accident, she still wondered if she had slept well with Jon before the accident. Dany blushed at the thought. She was not sure where her sudden burst of relational courage had sprung from, but she had certainly asked Jon to romantically redefine their relationship yesterday. She did not regret it, at least she did not think that she did, but she was suddenly terrified at the prospect of allowing him behind the carefully erected walls surrounding her heart. Dany scoffed at herself. She had done it before, hadn’t she? She could do it again. _How did her accident make her such a coward?_ She asked herself, and then threw her pillow across the room in frustration and got up. Wrapping her blanket around her and sneaking quietly into the kitchen, Dany sat down at their bar and munched on the lemon cakes that she and Sansa had made yesterday. The way Jon had looked at her yesterday morning when she had offered him one had nearly unraveled her. He did not have to do much to unnerve her, his eyes alone sent shivers down her spine. She could not remember anyone ever looking at her the way Jon did, Drogo and Daario certainly had not. Everything with Jon felt new and different, but even that had its snags. She felt like she was starting from scratch with Jon, but she had to wonder if Jon felt like he was simply reliving four years of his life. He knew so much about her, and she still knew so little about him. _Would he get bored with her?_

            Dany settled onto the sofa to wait for dawn, wondering what their next steps should be. It had not been a spur of the moment decision on her part to ask him, she had honestly been thinking about it for a couple of weeks, but she had not given much thought to what would happen next. They still had so much they needed to talk about. After asking Jon, Dany had not had the courage to bring up any of the other points that Tyrion had thought they needed to discuss. The timing for those discussions had not been right anyway, as they had both been a bit riled up from the day. As if reading her mind from miles away, her phone lit up with a message from Jon. _“Are you awake?”_ It read. _“Yes,”_ She responded. _“Can I call you?”_ He shot back. _“Yes,”_ She repeated. Dany picked up the phone on the first ring.

“Good morning,” came his gruff morning voice on the other end of the line.

“Good morning.”

“What are you doing up so early?” he asked.

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I actually called to tell you that I am going out of town this morning,” He said.

“Oh…alright,” Dany was not sure what to make of him leaving immediately upon her putting herself out there. Once again, as if he could read her mind, he continued to explain.

“I’ll be back in a few days, I just wanted to tell you, so you did not spend those days worrying that you had done something wrong, or that I was having second thoughts, because you didn’t and I’m not.”

“Okay.”

“I just have a few things I need to think through,” He said softly, “And when I get back, I would like to sit down and have a good long talk.”

“Alright,” Dany replied, not sure what else to say.

“And we can also set up that meeting with Tyrion.”

“Alright, Jon, be safe,” She said.

“Alright, love, see you in a few days.” With that he hung up the phone, and Dany sighed.

            Jon had not said what day he would return from wherever it was he was going. Dany tried not to be impatient with that. Patience had never been her strength. They had serious things to discuss, things she was ready to be over and done with, she did not want to wait. Dany chuckled to herself. Jon’s patience was good for her. Patience required a unique sort of strength and confidence with which she struggled. Dany had always been passionate, impatient and rash, while Jon seemed to be kind, strong, and steady. She could see why she had fallen for him the first time, and she found that both terrifying and comforting.

            Though she was impatient for Jon’s return, Dany determined not to waste her Sunday lounging around the apartment. She had not seen Missandei since the night of the dinner party, when she had fallen apart in front of Jon and fallen asleep in his arms. They had exchanged some texts, but Dany had not been able to face her, partially out of embarrassment, and partially from the ache she still felt in her heart. Dany was not, however, willing to give up Missandei’s sweet friendship over her jealousy. Dany sent Missandei a text.

 

            Unfortunately, Missandei was going baby shopping this afternoon, as Grey was work, to which she happily invited Dany, but understood if she did not want to go. Dany, however, determined that this was something she could do. She could support Missandei in this, just as Missandei had been supporting her throughout her ordeal. Missandei pulled into her apartment complex about an hour after Dany had returned home from picking up her new car with Robb.

“I can drive if you want?” Dany offered, feeling bold.

“If you like,” Missandei chuckled, and the two girls loaded themselves into Dany’s new red and black jeep and headed for the shops. Missandei glowed, with that type of glow that only comes with being happily pregnant. The first stop Missandei wanted to make was pricing cradles.

            Dany ran her hand along the different cradles feeling the different structures as Missandei read safety features.

“I have no idea what makes one cradle better than another,” Missandei chuckled, tucking a wild strand of her beautiful dark curly hair behind her ear.

“Neither do I,” Dany admitted. Suddenly, Missandei jumped and put her hand on her gently swollen belly.

“He kicked,” She said, with a smile, “I’m still getting used to it, he just started kicking earlier this week.” Dany bit her lip and dropped her gaze down to Missandei’s mid-section.

“Do you want to feel?” Missandei asked, softly, her eyes full of love and sympathy. Dany quietly reached her hand out, which Missandei took and navigated toward where the baby seemed to be doing somersaults in her womb. Even as that ache bloomed once again in her heart, Dany smiled.

“He is an active little guy,” Missandei commented quietly. With all the gentleness and kindness of the mother Dany knew Missandei would be, Missandei hugged her tightly.

“Dany you are my best friend, and I want you to be involved in every aspect of my life,” Missandei started, “But I want you tell me if I’m being insensitive or if being around me…this way…is difficult for you.”

Dany felt tears prick her eyes, but thankfully none fell, “Missy, I love you and I love your baby already, I may be a little… jealous…but I am happy for you, always.” Missandei kissed her cheek and the two continued their pricing of cradles.

“Maybe I could pay Jon and Robb to build one for me?” Missy said, almost absentmindedly.

“I saw something Jon was carving in his car a while ago, he seems quite good at it,” Dany said.

“I know you don’t remember,” Missy started, “But he built you a jewelry box once, with winter roses carved into it, it was one of the prettiest things I’ve ever seen.”

Dany felt like her heart had stopped.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“What do you mean?” Missy asked right back.

“The jewelry box with the winter roses carved into it?” Dany started and described it in detail to Missandei who was floored.

“You remember that?”

“Yes,” Dany said, “I don’t remember where I got it, or what happened to it, I just remember having it. I loved it.”

“Jon made you that, Dany, I can’t remember exactly when, but I think it was about around your first anniversary as a dating couple.”

“It was beautiful,” was all Dany could say, and suddenly wished Jon was there so she could kiss him.

“Yes, it really was, it was a shame that it got stolen.”

Dany could only nod, still somewhat dumbfounded at this revelation. She wondered if there were other things, she remembered but did not realize she remembered.

            Dany and Missandei were still giggling about breast pumps and all the things they did not know about babies and horrified after reading a few passages from a birth and pregnancy book, when they finally settled into a small café for dinner.

“I feel like there is so much I don’t know,” Missandei huffed as they ordered, “I don’t think I expected it to be so terrifying having another human being’s life in my hands.”

Dany smiled, sadly, “You will be the perfect mother.”

“Doubt it,” Missandei chuckled, “I’ll settle for being a good mother,” she rubbed her bump affectionately and Dany felt her heart squeeze.

“I asked Jon if we can redefine our relationship in a romantic way yesterday,” Dany confessed to her friend.

“Please tell me you used different words,” Missandei chuckled.

“What’s wrong with the way I said it?”

“I don’t know…” Missandei was still trying to hide a laugh, “It’s just not a very romantic thing to say.”

Dany playfully scoffed, “Its not like either of us are blushing maidens from a song.”

“No, I suppose not.”

“And besides it sounded much better than saying, ‘Jon, I know two months ago I was your fiancée and now I don’t remember anything about you, but would you be my boyfriend?’” Dany laughed and took a drink of water.

“What did he say?”

“He said he was willing,” Dany replied, “Then he kissed me.”

“Oh?” Missy had a sly smile on her face. Dany rolled her eyes.

“It was…nice.”

Missandei outright laughed at that, “That is an even less romantic thing to say.”

“Well, it was nice, and its not like it was the first time we kissed, even since the accident,” Dany said, “We had a couple practice ones when I was still staying at the apartment.”

Missandei chuckled with that same sly, secretive smile on her face.

“You know, you can be almost as bad as Sansa sometimes,” Dany teased. Missandei said nothing in response, only continued with her sly smile.

            After they were finished eating, Missandei rubbed her hand affectionately across her belly and sighed. Dany felt that ache bloom once again.

“I wish I could make everything better for you,” Missandei said seeming to notice the direction of Dany’s thoughts. She reached across their table and gave Dany’s hand a squeeze.

“It is what it is,” Dany said with more resignation then she actually felt.

“That doesn’t mean its easy.”

“No,” Dany sighed, “You know all my life, through everything with Viserys, and Drogo, and even Daario the idiot, there was always this illusive dream in the back of my mind of the house we lived in when Rhaegar was still alive and taking care of us, it had a red door, and even though I was very young, I remember being happy there.”

Missandei nodded, allowing her to continue without interruption.

“All I ever wanted was that house and to make it full of love and happiness like the childhood that was stolen from me. I wanted to fill it with babies, and a husband who loved me for me,” Dany sighed, “After everything went so desperately wrong with Viserys and then Drogo, I thought I had buried that dream, and then when Daario came along it seemed even further away with every time he called me frigid or unfeeling, as if I was incapable of being warm and nurturing and motherly.”

Missandei squeezed her hand again.

“Not that I wanted to have Daario’s babies anyway, no… I had sworn after the nightmare that was Drogo that I would never live with another man again,” Dany’s eyes met Missandei’s, “But then I woke up in this alien world where I shared a home with a man named, Jon, who was gentle and patient, and who wanted all those things with me that I thought I had buried away, and honestly there are days where it still does not quite feel real, and I don't think I trust it yet. I keep waiting to wake up one morning to find that all of this was some sort of dream.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Jon and Ghost take to the woods


	24. Beds (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a very brief Jon POV, exploring his feelings after deciding to move forward romantically with Dany
> 
> I did not have time tonight to add his return and his meeting with Tyrion but it is coming soon

It all started with a traffic jam. Jon raked his hand through his hair in frustration just before Ghost reached over from the passenger’s seat and licked his face as if sensing his mounting agitation.

"I'm alright boy," Jon chuckled, wiping his face off. When Jon had been a bit younger, he had been a relatively impulsive man, but as he got closer to thirty and settled more into his career, he had considered his impulsive days to have ceased or at least had become considerably fewer. Dany had certainly been the rash one in their relationship. As Jon looked at the lines of cars ahead of him, he asked himself if his impulsive need to get away from everything had been worth it. When they had canceled their wedding, Jon had not been able to get a refund on the cabin they had rented for the short honeymoon they had had planned. Because Dany would have still been in school they had only planned to be gone two nights, with the promise of a longer honeymoon when summer rolled around, and so Jon had figured they would just lose the money invested in their two night stay at the cabin in the Wolf’s Wood three hours west of Winterfell. After their discussion last night, however, Jon had felt a need to get away and clear his head. He was not sure that spending what would have been their honeymoon alone in a cabin was his greatest idea, but the cabin was already paid for and he figured might as well use it.

 

The traffic jam had taken well over an hour to clear, and so by the time he and Ghost reached their cabin in the woods it was well after noon, and Jon was hungry and tired. The cabin was small but luxurious. It was not intended to be a honeymoon suite, but it was a beautiful cabin meant for comfortable vacationing with an outdoors emphasis. Jon opened cabinet doors and looked at the bathroom and the back porch. Not wishing to have a look at the bedroom yet, Jon settled on the sofa with a sandwich from his ice chest and a history book he had been reading before Dany’s accident that he had set aside and forgotten about. Ghost curled up on his legs as if he were a lap dog.

After eating and not long into reading Jon grew restless and paced the cabin. The cabin had fishing gear, maybe he could go fishing? He had not been fishing in years. Dany had wanted to learn how to fish and he had mercilessly teased her about asking him to teach her to fish on their honeymoon. The Starks had always been very outdoorsy, but Dany had grown up in the city, with relatives who did not care to spend time on outdoors activities even if they had had the means. Dany felt like fishing was a novelty. _Maybe he would not go fishing_. As Jon paced the cabin he wondered if he was a glutton for punishment. How could coming to this cabin have been a good idea? He should have just sucked it up and paid for a hotel somewhere else… maybe in the opposite direction. Ghost started to pace with him, sensing his anxiety. They could go for a walk. A walk was a relatively safe physical activity which would not require him to think about what he and Dany had originally planned for their two days on this cabin.

"Come on, Ghost," Jon beckoned and headed out the door. The Wolf’s Wood was quiet, and the rental cabins were secluded. Jon walked along the banks of the river that he knew eventually emptied into Winterfell Lake, breathing in the fresh air. He had not realized how many expectations had been placed on his shoulders in the last few months, until he had walked along the river for well over a mile and started back toward the cabin. While Dany was still on his mind, she was three hours away and did not need him right now. The children who filled his work days were not clamoring for him. Shireen with her big, innocent blue eyes was not here asking him to be her father. Davos was always telling him that he could not save the world, but that did not stop Jon from trying. Without so many responsibilities pulling him in so many different directions, he suddenly felt like he could take a deep breath again, and he did.

            When he got back to the cabin, he had to laugh at the well stacked pile of wood obviously meant for chopping. The owners of the cabin truly meant for their guests to be able to have the full outdoor experience. Jon had seen an ax in the cabinet, which he retrieved now. Ghost chased squirrels, and Jon spilt logs until the sun started to sink behind amber colored clouds. As he gathered up his split logs to place them in the firewood pile, he found a particularly good piece that he thought he may be able to carve and so he took it with him into the cabin. Jon spent the rest of the evening sitting on the couch whittling at his piece of wood, not yet entirely sure what he wanted it to be.

 _“You’ve always been the patient one,”_ Uncle Ned had said to him the day after Dany left, _“Of all my kids, the one willing to put in the extra time where it was needed, and always willing to sacrifice your wants and needs for the sake of the others.”_

Jon had to brush away a stray tear that managed to escape down his face as he whittled his wood. Ghost huffed and curled up beside him on the couch. He had not realized how tired he was, a creeping exhaustion had curled its way inside him, and made his eyes droop.

“Come on, Ghost,” Jon put his wood and carving knife down on the coffee table, and ruffled Ghost’s fur, “I have to face it eventually.”

            Jon stood staring at the bed for a long time. Last night would have been their wedding night. Jon’s thoughts drifted back to the night of the Dany’s accident. Two months ago, after he and Dany had gone on their fondue date, he had told Dany that they had had two fights in their over three and a half years together in which he had worried about their relationship. He had not told her that the most recent had occurred the night of her accident, and he dreaded the day he knew was coming when he knew he would have to tell her. In his head he knew that the accident was neither his nor her fault, but he could not help but berate himself at times. He had tried to brush the thoughts away, tried to forget them. Afterall, he was the only who knew about the fight, but even that made him feel so alone he could have wept then and there. Jon had not meant to make her angry that night, but she had stormed out in a fit of anger that surprised him, telling him she needed to take a drive to cool off. Dany, their entire time they had dated, had always been more of a fighter than a runner, more apt to stand her ground and shout in fight, rather than make hasty exits. Looking back on the fight now, with the benefit of hindsight, Jon knew it had not been anger fueling her retreat but rather fear and hurt. If he had known that then, he would have run after her, and kissed her and held her, but alas he had been quite angry that night as well and so he let her go for that damn drive.

            Jon sighed and laid down on the bed on top of the blankets. He could not remember the last time he and Dany had made love just to make love and not to make a baby. Before her accident, he had hoped that on their wedding night, he'd be able to show her again how much he loved and wanted her whether they had a baby or not, now here he lay in the bed alone with only Ghost beside him.

Rebuilding their relationship would begin when he returned, and Jon felt wary. He had not seen a therapist in years, and he struggled to trust a stranger with the most precious relationship in his life. It had taken Dany a long time to trust him the first time. Drogo had hurt her both emotionally and physically, and Daario had only confirmed in her mind that men only wanted one thing from her. When they had first started dating Dany had assumed Jon’s affections were an attempt to sleep with her which had broken him a bit and had actually been the cause of their first small fight. Eventually, Dany’s suspicions had been laid to rest as they grew to know each other better, until Dany had confessed one day that she was in love with him. He remembered how fearful she had looked, as if she thought he might not return her feelings, but he had quickly dispelled her fears with his own confession.

Once they had peeled back that layer, Dany had been ready to physically explore their feelings. The first time they had spent the night together and attempted to make love, she had approached their bed with a sort of clinical detachment that had somewhat frightened him. It had taken patience, gentleness, and lots of sweet touching and caressing without expectations to move past the image she had in her head of sex being a relational chore. Once they had, he and Dany had enjoyed an enthusiastic and passionate love life that flowed from their bed into their everyday lives. It was not about sex it was about love and that made all the difference. Jon knew this time around it would take a different sort of patience and gentleness, she seemed to be trusting him faster than the first time, perhaps aided by the head knowledge that she had trusted him before, but now she seemed somewhat shy and hesitant which were new characteristics for Dany, who before the accident, no matter how hurt she had been in the past, had not been shy. Jon knew that as they began to rebuild their relationship, he had to be careful not to project their past problems onto their present circumstances. It was strange to feel like he was starting from scratch with a woman he felt like he knew so well, but that is what it was like. He could not make assumptions about her based on their past and he knew that was going to be the greatest struggle for him as they started over, because he had already done that very thing a few times.

Jon rolled onto his stomach in the bed and buried his face in Ghost’s fur. Ghost let out a little sigh, and licked Jon’s face.

“I know boy,” He whispered to the dog, as tears started to form in his eyes and he no longer had the will power to withhold them, “I know you miss her too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter did not bore anyone as it was mostly delving into Jon's thoughts, and I don't feel very confident when trying to capture Jon's thoughts. 
> 
> Next Chapter: Jon comes back to Winterfell, and meets Tyrion. Jon further expounds upon the reasons for the fight the night of Dany's accident.


	25. Bruises (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your comments! here is the new chapter. If you want some mood music to accompany it, I listened to Jake Scott's song, "Naked" to get inspired for Jon's feelings about Dany. 
> 
> Once again, I am not a medical or therapy expert, so please forgive any inaccuracies that may have occurred due to my google search knowledge.

Jon unlocked his apartment door, and let Ghost bound in ahead of him. After his stint at the cabin the Wolf’s Wood, Jon, who was a home body by nature, was glad to be back. He threw his bag on the living room floor and set the hunk of wood he had been whittling on the coffee table. He was not sure what he was making of the wood yet, but he had not been able to give it up. Jon flipped through his mail while considering what he needed to get done before returning to work tomorrow. Laundry was a must, Jon mused as he thought through his wardrobe for the week. He wanted to call Davos and check in on his cases, but he supposed he could wait for a full accounting once he went into the office in the morning. Jon looked at his phone. He needed to call Dany as well, let her know he was back and make a plan for them to sit down and talk. Maybe he could take her to a quiet casual restaurant for dinner later in the week, a place with minimal interruptions, where they could talk? Or perhaps they needed to go for a long walk? Or did she want him to meet with Tyrion before they decided on any next steps? Jon was not sure, but the only way to find out was to let her know he was back, and so he called.

“Hello…Jon?” came her voice on the other end of the line.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Fine, just been working, and then reading and walking today, are you back?” She asked, and Jon heard what sounded like pots and pans knocking together in the background.

“Yes,” Jon was not sure where to go from there. An awkward silence hung in the air, until Jon heard more shuffling and pots and pans sounds from her end.

“Do you….” She started hesitantly, shyly, “Do you want me to bring you some supper?”

 _Was she cooking?_ Jon had to smile at the sweetness of her offer. Dany had never been much of a cooker before, but whenever she had opted to cook Jon had ate it without complaint. She had said it was important to her that they occasionally sit down together at the table for a home cooked meal. Most of the time they rotated cooking duties between them, but much like their dancing, neither of them was particularly skilled cooks. Those evenings, though, Jon had treasured. They felt like home.

“I could eat,” Jon said with a smile, “If you are willing to feed me.”

“I’m willing,” said Dany’s almost amused voice, though still with a shadow of shyness.

“Is Sansa not there?”

Dany giggled, “Do you remember Podrick? Gods, what am I saying? Of course, you know Podrick…. She and Podrick are going on a date tonight.”

“Oh?”

“Yes,” Dany laughed, her beautiful laugh and Jon raked his hand through his hair.

“I’ll be over in a little while then… with dinner,” Dany said sweetly.

“Alright, love, see you then,” Jon replied, using the endearment almost instinctually.

            After hanging up the phone Jon tidied up the living room, and then proceeded to shower. Once done, he laid down on their bed for a while. He still thought of it as their bed, even though he had been the only one using it for two months now. Jon tried to mentally prepare himself for anything they might need to discuss tonight. He did not know if she would want to discuss their relationship tonight or not, but he did not want to be taken off guard if she did. As he lay there, it occurred to him that he should set the table, like Aunt Cat had always done when they had family dinner in the evenings at the Stark home growing up.

            As he set out silverware, plates and glasses, he saw Ghost start pacing in front of the front door which usually signified someone was approaching, and sure enough a moment later, there was a soft knock on the door. When Jon opened the door, a rather frazzled looking Dany stood there holding a large pot, and sack dangling from her arm. “Hello,” She said with a sweet smile.

“Hello,” He repeated and reached out to take the pot from her. When he did, she immediately dropped down to her knees and hugged Ghost, which made Jon’s heart clench. Ghost licked her and let out a little whimper as if he had not seen her in years.

“Come on you two,” Jon chuckled, as he tried to shuffle them inside so he could close the door. They went into the kitchen and Jon set the pot on the kitchen counter. When he turned back to Dany she was staring at the table.

“You set the table,” She said, with a strange awe in her voice.

“Yes,” Jon said, unsure of how to respond.

“I didn’t know people still did that,” Dany said, biting her lower lip, “We never did…growing up I mean…. I suppose you may know that, though… about me.”

Jon had always assumed that Dany’s love for sitting around the table eating home cooked food, stemmed from a lack of such comforts in her youth. She had never verbalized this too him though, and so he could with honesty say that this was new information.

“I did not know that actually,” Jon said, and her eyes met his in surprise, “I mean… I had speculations about things like that… but I didn’t know for sure.” Dany smiled at him then, a full, real smile, and Jon thought his heart might stop.

            Dany filled their bowls with the stew she had made, while Jon poured them each glasses of water. As they sat down to dinner, it felt so painfully familiar and domestic that Jon felt a near physical pain in his chest. They were relatively quiet, and so Jon smiled at her, reassuringly. She watched him as he went to taste the stew, and she squeezed her eyes shut and grimaced. Jon had to laugh before he even managed to take a bite.

“I’m afraid it’s not very good,” Dany confessed, “I was hoping that I had forgotten that I had become a better cook in the missing years, but I am afraid I have not improved.”

Jon laughed again.

“It’s not funny!” She protested, though she was laughing as well.

“I’m afraid neither of us are the greatest cooks in the world,” Jon confessed, “But we have to at least taste it, before we make any assumptions.”

Dany chuckled and nodded, and let him go first, never taking her eyes from him. Jon brought the spoon to his mouth and tasted it. She looked braced for his revulsion. To Jon’s surprise, it was not a bad stew at all, maybe needing a little salt but that was all, it was nowhere near as bad as a couple of the dishes they had made each other over the years.

“It’s good, Dany, maybe just needs a little salt,” He said, and she playfully rolled her eyes.

“You don’t have to lie to spare my feelings.”

“I would never!” Jon protested with a grin, “Really, it’s pretty good.”

“Really?” She blushed at the praise, and Jon felt like his heart was a puddle.

“Really,” He said seriously.

“Well,” She looked away from him, seeming to shy away from his compliment, “I tried to follow the recipe exactly.”

“You did well, maybe next time I can try to impress you with my cooking skills,” Jon laughed and continued to eat.

“I accept,” with that, they ate and were silent for a bit. The awkwardness was palpable. They had so much to say to each other, but neither of them seemed to know where to start, and so for a long while neither of them said anything.

“How was your trip?” Dany suddenly asked. Jon raked his hand through his hair.

“It was good.”

“Where did you go?”

 _Did he tell her?_ Jon hesitated, then grimaced as he said, “We had rented a cabin for our…um, honeymoon… I wasn’t able to get a refund on it, so I figured I’d just use it.” They stared at each other for a few beats, the strangeness of their situation seeming to settle on them.

“You went on our honeymoon?” Dany asked. He could see wheels turning in her mind.

“Yes,” Jon chuckled, nervously. At first, she seemed genuinely upset, then her face broke into a smile.

“What is wrong with you?” She asked, with a gentle laugh, “Haven’t you suffered enough?”

Jon had to laugh at that, the tension eased for a moment, as the strangeness of this situation struck them both as tragically funny. Once their nervous laughter subsided, Dany’s eyes met his, and he saw genuine sympathy in them.

“I’m sorry, Jon,” She touched his hand with sincere kindness, “Why didn’t you tell me that’s where you were going?”

Jon offered her a half smile.

“I didn’t want to make you feel bad.”

“Oh, Jon,” She gripped his hand then, and Jon gripped hers in return, and felt surprising tears threatening him, taking him completely off guard, “No more tiptoeing around me, remember?”

Jon nodded and squeezed her hand.

            They spent the rest of dinner companionably, talking about Dany’s research at work, and her various pursuits in attempting to recover whatever memories she could, though she seemed so disheartened by her lack of progress on that front that Jon changed the subject. He told her about his work, then, and she asked questions about all the children he was helping. When he told her about Shireen, tears actually sprung to her eyes, and he felt his heart twist at the compassion he saw on her face. She would have made a great mother for Shireen, or any child really. That thought caused Jon physical pain.

“Did we… did we ever consider adoption?” Dany suddenly asked, taking Jon by surprise. They were considering adoption and had even filled out a large amount of the paperwork, but she had also not been ready to give up trying to conceive. Some couples tried for years longer than they had, she had told him, and tried other procedures that they had yet to try. _Could he tell her that now?_ Jon’s thoughts immediately jumped to the night of her accident.

He settled upon simple agreement, “Yes.”

Dany nodded, seeming to have an internal battle. _Did she have something she wanted to say?_

“Tyrion has time to meet with you tomorrow, if you want,” Dany changed the subject.

“Alright,” Jon agreed, starting to clear off the table.

“He said we may benefit from a couple of sessions together,” Dany continued as she helped him clean up, “But he wants to meet with you alone first, is that alright?”

“Yes, that’s alright.”

“Are you truly alright with all of this, Jon?” she asked, turning her eyes to him as she handed him dishes to put in the dishwasher. Jon had resolved in his mind over his few days in the Wolf’s Wood that he was willing to take the steps it took to rebuild their life together, but he still felt a little hesitant about therapy, and having a third party in the middle of their relationship. While therapy had been beneficial to him in getting over his mother’s death, and for a brief period right after he got out of the military, Jon had always been an intensely private person, and though he knew in his mind that therapy could help them, it still made him somewhat defensive thinking about processing his rather raw emotions for Dany in front of a stranger.

“Yes, I think so, I’m just a little nervous I guess… about the counseling I mean,” He admitted, trying to give her the honesty that he could articulate. She nodded, smiling gently at him then.

“Thank you,” She whispered. Without thinking about what he was doing, he leaned over and kissed her forehead like it was the most natural thing in the world. She smiled at him again but stepped away.

“I suppose I should get going, since we both have work in the morning,” Dany said, as she put some leftover stew in a container for him to keep and grabbed her pot to take home.

“Alright,” Jon said, and walked with her to the door, “Goodnight, Dany, thank you for delicious dinner.”

“Your welcome,” She said, blushing shyly. Suddenly, she hugged him, then quickly walked away before he could reciprocate. He sighed and watched her as she got into her new car and left.

 

            When Jon got off work the next day, he stood staring at Dr. Lannister’s offices for a long while, not sure what to prepare himself for.

“Most people find counseling most useful when they come inside,” said a voice from behind him. Jon turned to see a dwarf, with shaggy hair and half-moon shaped glasses sitting on his nose, and obviously trying to enter the offices, “You see, the front door doesn’t talk back, but a therapist might.”

Jon did not know whether to laugh or be annoyed, so he just stared at the dwarf.

“Sorry,” the dwarf chuckled, “I know I have you at the disadvantage, as I am fairly certain who you are, and you have no idea who I am.”

Jon still said nothing.

“Well, you seem even more taciturn than your lovely significant other,” the dwarf continued, “I have to warn you that if you decide to come inside, we will need a few more words from you if we are to make any progress,” the dwarf offered his hand for Jon to shake which he did, “I’m Dr. Tyrion Lannister, but most people just call me Tyrion.”

“Jon Snow,” Jon said.

“I know I am very intimidating at first glance,” Tyrion said with a straight face, “But I’m a very amiable dwarf once you get to know me, come inside.”

Jon nodded, which made Tyrion chuckle and shake his head.

            After Jon had filled out paper work, and they had gone over the basics of introductions and confidentiality, Jon and Tyrion sat staring at each other from across the room.

“I’ve been very much looking forward to our meeting, Jon Snow, and not just because you are my last client of the day today,” Tyrion started. Jon gave him a look. Tyrion smiled, “My, you are a broody fellow, aren’t you?”

“I’m not here to play word games with you,” Jon snapped, not entirely sure how to take Tyrion’s banter. Tyrion chuckled.

“No, I suppose not,” The dwarf adjusted his glasses, “You are a no muss no fuss type, straight down to business, I can respect that.”

“Thank you,” Jon said, mainly because he did not know what else to say.

“So, tell me, Jon Snow, what do you hope to get out of our sessions?”

“I want to rebuild mine and Dany’s relationship, and help her get back on her feet again,” Jon said, simply. Tyrion narrowed his eyes.

“While that is noble and a large part of the reason you are here right now, that is not exactly what I asked, the subtle differences being the emphasis on what you need, rather than Dany.”

Jon looked up at him. _Why was he here if not to help Dany?_

“So, tell me Jon Snow, what do you need?”

Jon just stared at him again. He had no idea what he needed. Tyrion seemed to discern this without him saying a word.

“If you need to take some time and think on that, that is okay, and we can follow up on it in the next session,” Tyrion offered, and Jon nodded. Tyrion shook his head and laughed, seeming to enjoy some private secret.

“Nodding in therapy is not overly useful.”

“Sorry.”

“Neither are apologies,” Tyrion said, “So, tell me, how do you feel about yours and Dany’s relationship?”

“Good, happy to be moving forward.”

“I know this may be difficult for you, but I may need you to dig a little deeper than that,” Tyrion pushed. Jon sighed.

“I think we are moving in the right direction, but we have things we need to discuss, hurdles we have to get over in order to really move forward.”

“Can you tell me, if you can, what those hurdles are for you? Or even if you are not sure, maybe what you think they may be?” Tyrion asked, prodding a little more gently than before. Jon looked up at him.

“Dany’s been through a lot… in the past… it took a long time for her and I to build what we had before the accident, for her to trust me,” Jon raked his hand through his hair, “I think rebuilding that trust will take time, it is something that I am willing and I want to do, but I am also aware that it is not as simple as it sounds.”

Tyrion looked thoughtful, “Good, a solid dose of realism, is always healthy, especially in therapy, people who look for magical formulas to solve their problems rarely get anything beneficial from therapy.”

“Yes,” was all Jon could think to say.

“What else do you think could be a hurdle?”

“Well, obviously, there is simply relearning each other,” Jon said.

“Yes, I think, when we have a session with the both of you, we may take some time discussing what that may look and feel like, but for now, I think it is safe to say that in this next week, I think a sure and safe way to proceed is to treat each other like a newly dating couple, instead of trying to live up to the pressures of your past relationship.”

Jon agreed.

“What else?” Tyrion pushed. Jon felt like Tyrion had an agenda here, and he knew what it was.

“If you want me to say that infertility may be hurdle, you’d be wasting your time.”

“Well, since you have brought that up, tell me, why do you think it would not be a hurdle?”

Jon bristled, “Because I want to be with Dany because I am in love with her, our ability, or inability, to have children does not define us.”

Tyrion nodded, and said, “That is certainly true, and I think a good perspective for you to have, but I also think it is important to acknowledge that infertility can be a very significant hurdle to a relationship.”

Jon just looked at him. He had not expected to step into this issue in their first session, and he certainly did not want to talk about it.

“In cases of female infertility, many people tend to treat the woman with extra care, for obvious reasons, but often forget that infertility also affects the man,” Tyrion started and looked Jon in the eye, “So tell me, how do you feel about the possibility of you and Dany never having a child together?”

Jon felt a little choked up, no one had ever actually asked him that outright. Only Uncle Ned had ever acknowledged the fact that it was a wounding for Jon, as well as Dany. Jon glanced away, willing himself to keep his emotions in check.

“I remember standing in the exam room after Dany got the diagnosis,” Jon started, suddenly feeling very vulnerable, “She was in one of those pink paper hospital gowns and wearing her little ankle socks. She had always hated going to the doctor, and so I had stayed with her and held her hand while she was examined, and poked and prodded, then told the chances of her becoming pregnant…” Jon took a deep breath, “We had moved in together only a few months earlier, and I had already bought a ring, I knew she was the one, I had known almost since the first time I met her, and when we were standing in that little room, I watched as this woman who I wanted to give the whole world too was told she could not have one of her deepest desires, I had never felt so powerless in all my life.”

Tyrion was silent and thoughtful for a moment, “How were the two of your coping with this issue before the accident?”

Jon felt his whole-body tense; he did not know if he was ready for this conversation.

“For most of the time that we were trying, we were both fairly optimistic,” Jon started, “It was not until about four months before the accident, that things started to feel a little less hopeful.”

“What happened?”

“Well, we were planning a wedding, and she was in law school, and we kept trying unsuccessfully to conceive,” Jon admitted, realizing he was not going to get out of this session without coming out with the truth.

“Then what happened?” Tyrion pressed, seeming to sense that he was on the trail of something. Jon clench his fists, feeling so much pent up anxiety, and pain, and guilt threatening to spill out of him.

“It was killing me to see her religiously take a pregnancy test every month, and every month see her heart break,” Jon felt tears well up in his eyes but he brushed them away, “She had bruises on her body from getting fertility injections, she was exhausted and stressed from school and the wedding, and our entire love life had become consumed with tracking ovulation and the best time to have sex, and she had become detached from sex almost like she had been in the beginning of our relationship which scared me, scared that we had lost all the progress we had made on that front.”

“Then what happened?” Tyrion, seeing the tears threatening Jon, seemed to know that he had hit the mark.

“I felt like her…her body needed a break,” Jon confessed, “I felt like I needed a break from seeing her heartbreak every single month.”

“Yes?”

“The night of her accident…” Jon did choke on these words, as tears did start to fall, “I…I suggested… that we take a break from trying until after she got out of law school.”

“How did she handle that?” Tyrion asked, softer this time.

“She got angry, accused me of giving up, when we had not been trying as long as a lot of other couples,” Jon wiped at his eyes, guilt eating away at him, “Then she stormed out saying she needed to take a drive to cool off…and then the rest I’m sure you know.”

Tyrion was silent for a long time, and Jon continued to feel tears falling down his face. Then after an uncomfortably long time, Tyrion finally spoke, “I think it is important for you to come to terms with the fact, Jon, that Dany’s accident was not your fault.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Dany and Jon continue to navigate their new relationship, and Jon confesses to Dany about the night of the accident


	26. Saturdays (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the comments, they keep me motivated! 
> 
> Here is the new chapter, I hope you enjoy this one!

Dany rolled over and looked at her clock. Saturday. Jon had called her yesterday and asked if she would spend Saturday with him. She had not heard much from him since he had his session with Tyrion, and she briefly feared that her needs had scared him away. Dany was nervous about today and felt foolish for being nervous as she and Jon had already spent ample time together in the months since her accident, but she was nervous just the same. Dany smiled as she thought about the “proper date” he had taken her on the week after her accident, when they had eaten Pentoshi food and he had broken his wine glass at the fondue restaurant. That evening had gone well enough, but she had not been aware, at the time, of all the baggage they needed to deal with. Today would be different. They were trying to start from scratch but there would always be the knowledge between them, that they had lost so much, and navigating the complexities of that would be messy.

            Dany braided her hair long silvery gold hair, and donned a warm coat and knit hat, and just as she was lacing up her boots, there came a knock on the door.

“It’s open!” She called, knowing it was Jon, as she finished lacing her boots. Jon stepped into the apartment.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Dany looked up at him. He had his beautiful curls restrained in that attractive little knot at the back of his head, and he wore dark denim jeans and a black sweater, underneath a warmer coat. The faint scar along his left eye was more noticeable with his hair pulled back, but Dany liked it. She also liked his dark beard, and the way the corners of his mouth twitched when he was trying not to smile. Not for the first time, Dany was struck with how beautiful of a man he was.

“What?” He asked, blushing under her scrutiny.

“Nothing,” now she was the one blushing, having been caught out, staring at him liked an enamored teenager. Dany stood from the couch and he considered her for a moment.

“You look pretty,” He said with a gentle smile. Dany blushed.

“Uh, thanks, so do you,” She stammered out. _Oh, gods what was she saying?_ “I mean handsome…um, I mean you look nice too.”

“Thanks,” Jon replied, and offered her his hand, “Ready to go?”

 

            Dany had never before considered the strange intimacy of holding hands in public. She and Jon walked through the downtown Farmer’s Market, hand in hand, apparently gathering whatever produce Jon needed for the week.

“Did we do this before?” Dany suddenly asked, ever curious about their lifestyle before the accident.

“A couple of times, never every week,” Jon said, as they sorted through tomatoes. Jon seemed to need a lot of tomatoes for whatever it was he was planning to eat this week, which made Dany giggle.

“There is a booth down at the end here that sells Braavosi food, I thought we might grab food there for breakfast?” Jon said, throwing a few more tomatoes in his bag and paying the vendor.

“Alright,” Dany agreed and followed. Jon was relatively quiet, but it was a companionable silence, as they enjoyed the crisp, cool autumn air.

            When they made it to the booth with the Braavosi food, Dany was famished, and ordered a full traditional Braavosi breakfast. She loved Braavosi food, but Jon probably knew that about her, and was likely the reason he had brought her here. They took their food to a grassy knoll far apart from the crowds of the Farmer’s Market and sat down in the grass to eat. Jon stretched out on his side and studied her as she daintily ate her meal.

“Do you like it?” He asked.

“Yes, it is quite good,” Dany smiled at him.

“We had been meaning to come down here for months and try it, but we got busy and never did,” Jon explained.

“Well, I’m glad we saved it for now,” Dany said. It struck her how beautifully sad it was that he had brought her to a place that they had never made time for before, as if he did not want to waste another moment, for fear of losing her again. He was painfully sweet, and it made her heart ache with a longing that she could not name as she had never felt anything like it as far as she could remember. Had this been what it felt like before when she could remember him, and they were in love?

“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” He asked.

“You,” was all she replied. Jon’s eyes were dark and soft as he looked at her.

“Good thoughts?” He asked, almost hesitantly.

“Yes.”

“Care to share?”

“Not yet,” She smiled, and he grinned but did not press her. Suddenly, he reached up and wiped something from her face and Dany laughed.

            As they finished their food, Jon had shifted in the grass and was now lounging on his back staring up at the clouds. Dany shivered, as she was beginning to get cold.

“What’s next?” She asked, always eager, and wanted to show him that she was happy to be spending the day with him. Jon chuckled at the question.

“There’s no rush,” He said, and reached out his arm to her, “Want to come lay beside me? It’ll be a little warmer.”

Dany hesitated for a moment. Sometimes she did not know how to take Jon’s genuine openness and steady strength. He was so painfully sincere, that Dany could not help but think this was all too good to be true.

“You don’t have if you don’t want too,” Jon offered, though she did not miss the look of disappointment that floated briefly across his face. Dany considered him for a moment more, before scooting closer. She lay down beside him in the cool grass and rested her head against his shoulder, though she was careful to ensure that the rest of her body was not touching his. As they lay there looking up at the clouds, Jon suddenly curled his arm up and lazily stroked Dany’s hair.

“You sure are quiet today,” Dany said, softly.

“I had my session with Tyrion earlier this week,” He said.

“Yes,” She knew that he had, but now she wondered what had happened at the session that was eating at him.

“We need to talk,” Jon finally said. Dany felt her heart skip nervously. Was this where she woke and realized this was all a dream? The pill in the jam? Had she finally become to much for him to handle? She sat up then and looked down at him, which seemed to unnerve him because he sat up as well.

“Okay,” Dany prompted him to continue. Jon’s dark eyes met hers, and she felt like he could see into her soul. She had to look away. Jon seemed as lost as she felt as he searched for words.

“I want to have this out now, so it is not hanging over my head for the rest of the day.”

“Did Tyrion say something too you?” She snapped, suddenly feeling anxious and defensive of Jon. She wondered why she had trusted the scheming dwarf with her love life. Jon chuckled nervously at her impatience.

“No…I mean, yes…sort of.”

“Jon, you are making me nervous,” Dany said, bluntly.

“Sorry,” Jon looked off into the distance, seeming to not be able to meet her eye.

“Jon, what is it?” She asked more softly. He was silent for a few beats, before taking a deep breath and bringing his eyes to hers again.

“Do you remember when I told you that we had had two fights in our years together that were more than little squabbles?”

Dany nodded.

“I said we could talk about them if you wanted too.”

Dany nodded again.

“Tyrion and I talked about one at our last session.”

“Oh?”

“You see, something I did not tell you before…” Jon took another breath, “What I did not tell you before was that… that one of those fights happened the night of your accident.” He said the last sentence so quickly Dany almost missed it.

“Oh,” She could not think of anything else to say. They stared at each other for a moment, “Do you want…do you want to tell me what it was about?”

“Aye,” Jon said softly.

Dany nodded, and drew her knees up and hugged them.

“I had gotten home from work that night after you,” Jon started, “We had both had a particularly rough day… and I walked into the apartment…” Jon trailed off and took another breath trying to focus his words, “All I heard was you crying from the bathroom.”

Dany had a sinking feeling that she knew where this story was leading, for as much as she had forgotten, she did know herself.

“I found you sitting on the edge of the tub, holding another negative pregnancy test,” Jon said. Dany felt her chest tighten, “I went to you and tried to… to hold you but you would not let me.” Dany felt tears in her eyes now.

“You had dark circles under your eyes, and from where I was standing and the way your pajamas sat, I could see the bruises on your hip from the fertility injections you had been on, and something inside me snapped that night.”

“Then what happened?” She asked softly.

“I suggested that we stop trying to conceive until you finished law school.”

“Oh.”

“We both got angry, you accused me of giving up, and I accused you of not caring about us anymore, then you stormed out saying you needed to cool off, and all I could say was ‘fine’, and then about two hours later I got a call saying you had been in an accident, and that I needed to come to the hospital immediately,” Jon had tears in his eyes now, as Dany listened to him tell the story. At first, she was tempted to be angry, first for him wanting to give up trying, then for him not telling her all this sooner, but as she looked into his eyes, she softened as she saw the tears in his eyes, though she was still not sure how to process this information.

“I’m sorry, Daenerys, I'm so sorry," Jon said, choking on his words, “I just wanted your precious body to have a break from everything we had been putting you through, and I should have ran after you told you to come back inside the house and we would work it out. If I had, you would not have been in that accident. All I wanted was for you to feel safe and protected and wanted, and I could not even do that.”

 _Safe, protected, and wanted_ … Those words made all the difference for Dany. The raw honesty in his tear-filled eyes, and his gut-wrenching confession, broke Dany, and she wept with him. Moving slowly, as if he were frightened animal that might bolt, Dany shifted closer to him. Reaching out, she placed both her hands on his bearded cheeks, and made him look her in the eye, before bending forward and kissing his forehead.

“Jon the accident was not your fault,” She whispered through her tears. Tears then fell harder from Jon’s eyes, and his shoulders relaxed as if an enormous weight had suddenly been lifted from him. For awhile they just sat there in the grass sharing their grief together.

“I’m sorry I did not tell you sooner,” He said, as he began to gain control of his emotions again and started hastily wiping at his eyes.

“No, Jon, it’s not your fault, none of it is your fault,” Dany whispered, reassuringly. He nodded and reached for her hand. She gave it to him and squeezed his hand in return.

“Come on, love, lets get going,” he said as he stood up, and took her hand again to help her off the ground.

            Hand in hand once again, they walked in silence back toward the car. Dany stole glances at Jon as they walked. He wanted to protect her, make her feel safe, and wanted. His words were ringing in her ears, drowning out the others. Did he realize how those words were settling in her heart as they walked? Dany looked at him. He had no idea. She desperately wanted to make him smile, because he was changing her life.

“What do you have planned for us the rest of the day?” Dany asked, as he opened her car door. He gave her a teasing half smile.

“Nothing,” he quipped, “I didn’t think I’d make it past that conversation.”

“You did not even make a back up plan?” Dany chuckled. He smiled for real then big and bright, his eyes shiny from his recently shed tears.

“Aye, I had a back up plan,” Jon said softly, looking into her eyes, just before he shut her door, and went to get in on the driver’s side.

            They drove for a long while, and Dany realized as they crested a hill and caught sight of water that they were driving to Winterfell Lake. She wondered if he would take her to the pier where they had their first date, and she felt a certain amount of trepidation about that possibility. Dany did not want to have to wrestle with her memory right now. She wanted to be here in the moment with him. When Jon finally stopped the car, however, there was not a pier in sight, nor any other human being. _What was he up too?_

“Come on, I have the gear in the back,” He said.

“Gear?”

“Come on.”

Dany chuckled and got out of the car, coming around to where he was unloading the back. He had two fishing poles, two chairs, a tackle box, an ice chest, and a suspicious looking can of dirt.

“What are we doing?”

“Going fishing.”

“Fishing?” Dany chuckled, and he smiled and handed her a pole. Next, he gave her a pair of rubber boots, while he donned his own and the two of them walked down to the waters edge. Jon set up their chairs and opened a soda for each of them.

            He showed her how to string the line on the pole, and tie on the hook and the bobber. Then he pulled out the can of dirt with a boyish grin on his face.

“Then you put one of these guys on the hook,” Jon showed her the can, and Dany flinched at the sight of the wriggling worms in it, “Come on now, you can do it,” He laughed. Rising to the challenge, Dany stuck her fingers in the dirt and grabbed one of the worms. With concerted effort she hooked it on her fishing pole. He laughed, then took her hand, positioning her in front of him. Dany felt him come up behind her, close enough she could feel his chest touching her back. He brought his arms on either side of her and showed her how to hold the pole.

“Then you cast like this,” he whispered in her ear, as he directed her arms to cast her line into the water. Dany felt a shiver go down her spine before he stepped away from her and cast his own line.

            Fishing was tedious business, Dany learned. They sat together watching their poles, drinking their sodas, and Dany asking Jon a million questions. They recast their lines a few times, and each time Dany boldly took hold of the worm for her hook, determined not to show Jon any city-girl fear. Sometimes they were silent, and sometimes they laughed and talked. Unfortunately, the fish did not seem to be biting, but they kept at it, even as the afternoon began to disappear.

“Marge wants us all to take a boat up the coast to Eastwatch, and then drive from there to the condo,” Dany said with a chuckle, when Jon had asked what the girls had been planning for their trip in December. Jon laughed at Margaery’s classic extravagance.

“As fun as that may be, it seems rather senseless to take a two-day boat trip, when if we drove from here we could be there in a 12 hours, we are closer here than if we were to go down to the coast,” Jon shook his head in amusement.

“Marge said its about the journey,” Dany giggled, trying to mimic Marge’s dramatic flair.

“Sounds like Marge.”

“I’m looking forward to the trip,” Dany said, “I know we have all been on trips like this together before, but it makes me sad thinking about that, because I can’t remember those lost memories. All I ever wanted growing up was a family, people that I loved and belonged too, I’m…I’m glad I have that with your family.” Dany almost felt shy saying it, but she wanted him to know that she loved his family and wanted to be a part of their life as well. He smiled at her.

“I’m glad too,” He said, and just as he did, Dany’s line began to tug.

“Jon!” She leapt out of her chair, “I think I got one!” Jon stood too and came to stand beside her as they approached the water’s edge again. Dany felt like a giddy little girl.

“Okay, start to reel it in!” Jon instructed her, and helped her start to bring the fish in. It was a large fish, that flopped to the ground as soon as they pulled it up. Jon seemed to notice immediately that the fish was not completely hooked. Dany lunged for it.

“Grab it Dany! It’s going to get away!” Jon laughed. Dany made a grab for the fish but squealed as it flopped wildly away from her. Dany was laughing and cursing as she lunged for it again, and once again it flopped away. It all happened before Dany could catch herself, as she made a final grab for the escaping fish she tripped and fell straight into the cold water.

“Shit!” She slapped the water. Jon roared with laughter and came to help her up. He pulled her up, and brusquely rubbed his hands up and down her arms.

“You go get into the car and turn the heat on while I gather up our gear,” His eyes sparkled with laughter. Dany shivered, suddenly realizing how wet she actually was, and the lake water was so cold. Ten minutes later, he hopped into the car with her.

“Alright?” He asked, seeing her teeth still chattering.

“Yes.”

“Let’s get you home and into some dry clothes,” Jon said, though his eyes were still laughing.

 

            Jon drove them to his apartment, which made Dany laugh as they bounded up the stairs to the warmth of his home.

“I thought we were going to get some dry clothes for me?” She laughingly asked.

“Our date is not over,” He insisted, “I have a t-shirt and sweats you can put on for dinner.”

She followed him to the bedroom, and he gave her the clothes.

“I’m going to take Ghost out, while you change,” Jon said, “Then I will start dinner.”

“You’re cooking?” Dany asked. Her mind flitted back to the absurd amount of tomatoes he had purchased this morning and tried not to look skeptical.

“I told you the other day that I was going to try and impress you with my cooking skills,” He said, and she laughed as he closed the door behind him.

            When she came out, Jon and Ghost had just returned.

“Help me?” He asked as he nodded toward the kitchen. Dany felt shy all over again, for entirely different reasons than before. She nodded and followed him.

“I have it on good authority that this is my specialty,” Jon said, as he began to hand her the ingredients, which included the tomatoes, “Lets boil the tomatoes.”

Dany did as he instructed her. They boiled and peeled tomatoes and then to her amusement they blended them, and it was not until they put the pureed tomatoes back into the pot on the stove did she realize they were making tomato soup. Dany watched Jon as his brow furrowed in concentration as he added spices and broth. She was growing rather fond of his face.

“What?” he suddenly asked, catching her studying him once again.

“Nothing,” Dany responded cryptically. She was not ready to trust those thoughts to him, for now she was content to be in this moment with him.

“Alright, well, we will let this simmer,” Jon said, “While it does, we will make the second part of dinner, which is perhaps the best thing I make.”

Dany laughed, as Jon proceeded to make them grilled cheeses to go with their tomato soup. He set them on the table when they were done, then took a spoon and went back to the soup.

“We have to taste it, make sure it is ready,” Jon said, as he dipped the spoon in it, blew on it too cool it off then offered it to her. Dany looked into his eyes and felt her heart skip. As she took the bite, Jon, with a mischievous grin on his face, tipped the spoon up just enough to get soup on her nose.

“Hey!” She exclaimed, faking indignation as she gave his arm a playful smack. He laughed.

Jon and Dany ate together making eyes at each other more often than talking, and Dany felt warmth blossoming in her stomach. After dinner, Jon took her home and for the first time she dreamed of him.


	27. Fresh (Jon)

Jon steadily worked toward finishing his paper work for the day, occasionally glancing at the clock on the wall. He was eager to go home today. Dany was going to come over and watch one of her favorite television shows. She was so excited about showing it to him that Jon did not have the heart to tell her that they had watched it all the way through together once before. Jon was going to pick up take-out on his way home for them, and he felt an eagerness to spend time with her that he had not felt since they had first started dating. Their very healing conversation last Saturday made a new start to their relationship. Even though they had history, some of which was painful and difficult, Jon felt like everything right now was fresh and new. They had been on two dates since that Saturday, once to dinner and the theater, and once on a double date with Robb and Marge. The last few days, however, had been busy at work and Jon had not had the chance to see her. He was eager to get off work tonight and have her all to himself, with the exception of Ghost of course.

            Jon was also eager to see her and be with her because tomorrow they had their first couples’ session with Tyrion, and he was nervous. After spending that Saturday with Dany, Jon had had a follow up meeting with Tyrion in which they discussed his mother’s death, and his hope for the future with Dany. Jon had settled long ago that Dany was the one, and so he and Tyrion had talked at length at how Dany would need more time than he did to come to these decisions, and how Jon might, in the meantime, help her move forward and build trust with her. While Jon was wary about their joint session tomorrow, he finally felt like they were making positive progress. Jon glanced up at the clock once again, eager to leave.

“Staring at the clock won’t make it move any faster, lad,” Davos chuckled from his office doorway. Jon laughed.

“You seem like a load has been taken off your shoulder’s these days,” Davos said.

“I guess you could say that,” Jon agreed.

“That’s good,” Davos said, “Hopefully, what I’m about to tell you will help too.” Jon turned his full attention to his boss.

“You are being taken off of Shireen’s case…”

“What?!” Jon angrily exclaimed before Davos finished. Davos smiled.

“Hold on, lad, let me finish.”

Jon tried to bite his tongue.

“Someone from the regional office will be handling her case now.”

“Davos, I don’t understand?” Jon felt crushed.

“You see it would be considered a conflict of interest if her social worker worked under her prospective adopted father.”

Davos let that sink in a moment, before Jon understood the implications of this statement.

“Davos, you mean you and Marya…?” Jon asked.

“Yes,” Davos grinned like the proud father that he was, “As you know Marya and I have talked about adopting before since all of our sons live practically on the other side of the world, and since our youngest son died in that boating accident, well… our home could use the laughter of a child again, and Marya has always wanted a daughter.”

Jon felt tears of joy sting his eyes, as he shook Davos' hand, and tried to control his emotions. Davos patted him on the shoulder as he moved to go back to his office.

“Now get your paperwork done, so you can get home to that little lady of yours.”

 

            Jon burst through the door of his apartment, with their take-out dinner, to find Dany already there snuggling with Ghost on the sofa. She hopped up to greet him and squealed in surprised when he picked her up and spun her around. Dany was laughing when he set her back down.

“What has gotten into you?” She asked. Without thinking, Jon leaned down and planted a quick kiss on her lips. Which seemed to startle her, but she did not protest.

“Sorry,” He mumbled as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“It’s okay,” She said, with a slight blush to her cheeks, “What’s going on?”

“Davos and his wife are going to adopt Shireen.”

“Oh, Jon that’s wonderful!” Dany gave him a careful hug, before Ghost nudged at them wanting attention as well.

            While they ate Jon told her about the lengthy process Shireen and the Seaworth’s would have to go through before adoption, but he was happy that the process was underway. After that, Dany told him about how Professor Varys was helping her prepare to come back to school in the Spring, before talk turned to Sansa and Podrick.

“Has Sansa told you much about them yet?” Jon asked.

“Oh, she has been very hush hush about it, but they have been spending a lot of time together,” Dany smiled. Jon laughed.

“Sounds like, Sansa, always ready to match make, but always very discrete with her own love life.”

“Yes, she is quite funny about it,” Dany giggled, “Any time I ask her where she is going, she always gives me some vague answer as if I don’t actually know… but I let her keep her mysteries for now.”

“Pod’s a good guy, I think he’ll be good for her,” Jon said, “Though I’m sure Robb and I will have to hassle him a bit.”

“Jon!”

Jon laughed, “What? It’s a Stark family prerogative.”

“Pod is a sweet boy, and you and Robb should not scare him off,” Dany said.

“Pod’s been hanging around us for years, I don’t think there is any chance of him actually being scared off.”

“Still, be nice.”

“I’m always nice,” Jon gave her a mischievous grin. Dany rolled her eyes, and he laughed.

            After eating and cleaning up, they settled on opposite sides of the couch to watch Dany’s show. Jon had his arm resting on the back of the couch, and Dany’s beautiful hair which he would have loved to run his fingers through was just out of reach. Jon glanced over at her, wondering if he should take a chance.

“Are you paying attention?” She asked him with fake impatience as she caught him staring at her instead of watching the show.

“Sorry,” He grinned, but after a few seconds of silence he could not stop himself from asking, “Do you…do you want to come a little closer?” Jon had to suppress a chuckle as she paused the show and turned to consider him. Dany looked a bit hesitant as she bit her bottom lip. Jon tried to keep his gaze confident and steady. Then after another few seconds of silence, she moved toward him and slowly nestled herself against his side and hit play on the show.

Jon draped his arm around her shoulders and tried to lean over and smell her hair without her noticing but failed.

“What are you doing?” She asked, tilting her head back to look at him with a bemused expression on her face. Jon felt his face flush. _Did he tell her he was smelling her hair?_

“Um… your hair smells nice,” He said awkwardly, which made her smile and lean her head back against his shoulder again. As her tv show continued, Dany suddenly wrapped one of her delicate arms around his waist. Jon took a steadying breath, having her this close was making his heart beat out of rhythm. He was much warmer then he had been before. The tv show had become mere background noise to him, and he vaguely wondered if Dany could feel the sudden zing of electricity in the air. Jon looked down at the top of her head. She did not seem perturbed in the slightest. Jon shifted a bit, trying to calm his heart.

“Are you alright, Jon?” She asked quietly. _Was she teasing him? Or was she really that oblivious?_

“I’m fine,” He assured her.

            Dany became so quiet and still that by the time the show had ended Jon assumed that she had fallen asleep. Jon did not want to speak or move, for fear of disturbing the moment. He struggled not to tighten his arm around her and pull her closer. Ghost moved, and further stretched out on the floor. The noise caused Dany to stir. Jon held his breath.

“Jon are you awake?” came her quiet voice, very much alert herself, though she still had not moved. Her arm was still clinging around his waist.

“I’m awake,” He whispered back. Jon had to suppress a groan as she snuggled a little closer, then turned her head and buried her face against his chest. When she placed a soft kiss above his heart, he let his hand tangle in her hair and rub small circles into her scalp. After a few moments, Dany sat up and looked at him. Jon looked back at her.

            Without any sort of preamble, Dany quickly pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his lips, which he enthusiastically reciprocated. When she started to draw away from him, Jon placed a steadying hand on the small of her back and drew her back to him, until her body was pressed against him again, chest to chest. One of Jon’s arms cradled her, while his other hand skimmed down her side, over her hip, and kneaded her bottom. They still had not broken their kiss. Jon heard warning bells going off in his head, but they were distant, and growing faint. They sank into the couch cushions side by side, their kisses becoming heady and the air around them heavy. Dany tangled her hands into his hair. She made a little whimpering sound when Jon gently slid his hand under her shirt, and up her belly to cup a breast. Her eyes were closed, lost in the moment. Jon let his hand wander back down to her bottom again, gently kneading, before pulling her hips flush against his.

            She gasped softly and broke the kiss, her eyes flying open but not able to meet his gaze. Jon’s head cleared for a moment. He had to get up from this couch right now. Jon made to disentangle himself from her, which she seemed, surprisingly, reluctant to let him do.

“Wait!” She said with an almost amused chuckle, as he sat up, and she tried to stop him.

“Dany, Dany, love,” He said, senselessly, as he mustered all the self-control that remained to him and stood up from the couch. She got up as well and made to move toward him. Jon took a step back, “No, no, you stay over there for a moment,” Jon felt flustered. Though she had an amused expression on her face, she looked just as flustered as he felt.

“Where are you going?”

“Dany, love, I don’t…I don’t think we’re ready for this yet,” He managed to get out, though he winced. _Gods, what was he saying?_

“Well you started it!” Dany snapped impatiently, though she was smiling and blushing furiously.

“What?” He threw back, suddenly not sure if she was laughing or mad, “You kissed me!”

“You are the one who wanted cuddle!” She stood up, fire flashing in her eyes, hands on her hips, though he saw a hint of mirth at the corners of her mouth. Jon was confused. Was she mad at him for starting this, or mad at him for stopping? Was she laughing? They stared at each other for several, awkwardly silent seconds, both not seeming to know how to process what just happened between them.

            Finally, after a few moments, collecting himself and calming his pounding heart, Jon moved and sat back down on the couch. She followed suit.

“I’m sorry, I just…I want to do this right, and I don’t want us to get ahead of ourselves, or do something that one of us might regret in the morning,” Jon tried to explain, and as he looked up at her and studied her face, he could see that she understood.

“You’re right,” She admitted softly. Then she got a playful, teasing look in her eye, “The last thing I want to do in our first couples’ therapy session is have to tell Tyrion how handsy you have gotten,” She smirked and hopped off the couch, as Jon laughed and shook his head.

“I guess I’ll go then.” Dany said, giving him a gentle reassuring smile, as she straightened her skewed shirt, then leaned down and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you, Jon,” She said sincerely, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, love,” He smiled at her, then she was gone. Jon got up from his seat, and, feeling like a green boy, went and took a cold shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Couples Therapy


	28. Reality (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very confident with how this one turned out. I really struggled with how to write this one, and could not decide between making it from Jon's or Dany's POV, but here it is from Dany's POV, we will see more of Jon's process in the next chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, please no bickering in the comments, I hate moderating comments. But this is really no fun when people bicker

Dany woke groggily from a sleep disturbed by a strange amalgamation of good and bad dreams, and one of a lake and pier. As she stared up at the ceiling, her thoughts drifted to last night. In the clarity of the morning, Dany was thankful for Jon’s self-control. As soon as he had pressed their hips together, her mind had disengaged just as she used to do with Daario. She had recognized it in herself immediately, which was why she had tried to pull Jon back into their kiss, but he had noticed too. Though thinking about his strong, gentle hands sliding up her belly and over her breast, had her warm and blushing all over again, she knew, in retrospect, that she had not been ready to take the next step. Always impatient, Dany sighed, she wanted to be ready, which was a new feeling for her. It was a beautiful and new and terrifying feeling, and she could not understand how it could be all three at once.

            Dany heard Sansa in the kitchen, and so she pulled herself out of bed to go and talk to her before she left for class.

“Morning,” said Sansa, as she took a bite of a bagel, “You got in late last night?”

Dany chuckled, “You did too.”

“I’ll neither confirm nor deny that,” Sansa said with a secret smile. Dany playfully rolled her eyes.

“With Jon?” Sansa asked. Dany blushed and nodded.

“With Pod?” Dany quipped right back. Sansa nodded as well.

“Are you and Jon…?” Sansa trailed off, “Not that it is any of my business…”

“Not yet,” Dany said simply.

“Well, there is no rush.”

“No…Jon is….” Dany was thoughtful, “Patient.”

Sansa chuckled at her assessment, “Good.”

“Finals next week?” Dany asked, feeling a slight bit of envy creeping up on her as she made herself some tea.

“Yes,” Sansa said as she grabbed her backpack, “But we have Missy’s baby shower first this weekend.”

Dany nodded; she had almost forgotten about Missy’s baby shower. For obvious reasons, Sansa and Marge had done most of the planning, but Dany had insisted on doing something to help.

“You will be okay this weekend? I don’t want…” Sansa looked so concerned, Dany had to give her a reassuring smile.

“I’ll be alright, Sans, I promise.”

“I just…I just don’t want to hurt you, or make you feel worse.”

“I’m happy for Missy and Grey, and I’m trying to not be so breakable,” Dany chuckled, “Besides Jon will be there, and we can commiserate together if need be.”

Sansa gave her a hug, “Alright then, I’ll see you later.”

           

As today was therapy day, Dany did not have to go to work, though after next week she would not work again until after the winter holidays. Professor Varys had insisted that she keep the same schedule as the University paid graduate assistants, even though she was privately paid. Dany had a private session with Tyrion before Jon was to join them after work. She and Tyrion had tried several different therapies outside of talk therapy, including EMDR and hypnosis, hoping that they might access her lost memories, but they had been to no avail. Dany was having to come to terms with the reality that she likely would never have those memories again. Most days she was contented with that, but occasionally she was still haunted by the missing years, like this morning after her dreams of the lake. She thought of Jon. He was likely even more haunted by them than she, but he did not complain. She wished she was as strong and steady as he seemed to be.

            Dany and Tyrion sat across from each other as they did every week. Tyrion looking over the top of his glasses and Dany gnawing her bottom lip.

“I dreamed of a lake and pier last night too,” Dany admitted, after they had discussed her bad dreams of Drogo’s rough hands and cruel words. Tyrion waited for her to continue.

“Jon and I had our first date on a pier at Winterfell Lake,” Dany said.

“And you think you were dreaming about that?”

“I don’t know, I don’t recall him in the dream,” She said, trying to think, “But sometimes I look at the photograph he gave me of that day, it’s more of a sense or feeling, than an actual memory, but sometimes I think I remember it.”

Tyrion actually looked skeptical, “Sometimes we think we remember things, simply because people have told us about those events, or… we have seen photographs.”

“No, I know, but this…seems different, I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Have you talked to Jon about it?” Tyrion asked.

“No.”

Tyrion sighed, his mouth twitched with a smile, “Well, then, I’ve never seen two likelier candidates for couples’ therapy, it is fortunate we already have you scheduled.”

Dany playfully rolled her eyes at his sarcasm that she was by this time used too.

“How are you feeling about couple’s therapy, since we are on the subject?”

“I don’t know,” Dany said softly, “Since he and I talked about the night of my accident, I feel like we have been living in a blissful bubble, that neither of us have wanted to break.”

“And you think couple’s therapy might break that bubble?” Tyrion asked.

“I don’t know,” Dany said.

“Well, this may be something we address in couple’s therapy, as I will ask you both this same question.”

Dany could not help but nod.

“Think about what you’d like to say.”

“Alright,” Dany glanced out the window to avoid eye contact.

“Anything else you’d like to say, before I go check and see if Complicated Jon has arrived?” Tyrion asked. Dany blushed. Should she tell him about last night?

“He and I kissed last night.”

“The two of you have kissed before,” Tyrion seemed completely unphased.

“It got a little…heated.”

“Ahhhh,” Tyrion looked over his glasses at her, a twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth, “And how do you feel about that?”

“Nervous, but…not, I don’t know, he put a stop to it before it got too far,” Dany smiled, looking at the ground, “I like Jon, very much, sometimes I think too much.”

“Too much?”

“After thinking back on my life with Viserys, then Drogo, and then my ridiculous relationship with Daario, I keep wondering if Jon is too good to be true, but he keeps surprising me, and…”

“And?”

“I want to feel about him the way he feels about me,” Dany looked up at Tyrion then, “I've always been hesitant to love… I thought it would make me weak… but I don’t feel weak when I’m with Jon.”

“Well,” Tyrion smiled, almost sentimentally, “I think wanting to love, is a good first step toward loving.”

“I want to take the next step with him,” Dany confessed, “But I don’t really know where to start.”

“Have you talked to him about this?” Tyrion asked, as he scribbled something down on a piece of paper.

Dany chuckled, “No.”

Tyrion sighed, “First order of business in couple’s therapy will be getting the two of you talking to each other.” Tyrion hopped off the chair and handed Dany a piece of paper with the title of a book on it.

“This book is mainly meant for married and cohabitating couples, but I think some of the exercises may help you take the next step in yours and Jon’s unique situation,” Tyrion said, and headed toward his office door, “Now I am going to go retrieve Complicated Jon, before he thinks we are in here gossiping about him more than we already are.”

            Dany smiled at Jon as he followed Tyrion back inside. Jon came to sit down beside her and while Tyrion’s back was turned, Jon leaned over and placed a quick peck on her lips, which set Dany’s cheeks to blushing. Jon smirked playfully just as Tyrion turned back around and considered the two of them.

“I swear the two of you look like children who were just caught with their hands in a cookie jar,” Tyrion tsk-ed good naturedly at them. Jon shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but Dany chuckled. Tyrion sat down in his seat and studied them.

“So, tell me, what brings the two of you in today?” Tyrion said, with a laugh at his own joke. Jon shifted again, and Dany wondered why he seemed to be so agitated.

            Tyrion started their session discussing the boundaries that they would have set in place for their private sessions with him, so that neither would feel like there was an imbalance in their couples’ sessions. Then briefly he described what they could expect. Though Dany only had a few questions, Jon was quiet throughout. He had told her he was nervous about this, perhaps she should have told him that she was nervous too? She could tell him now. She did not want him to feel alone. Tyrion seemed attuned to the tension that was rapidly rising in the room.

“How do the two of you feel about couples’ therapy?”

Dany and Jon exchanged a look. Dany decided to be brave.

“I feel nervous,” She confessed, and Jon gave her that endearing half smile of his.

“Care to elaborate on that, Dany?” Tyrion prompted.

“I feel nervous because I’m afraid talking about this too much will break the happy bubble we’ve been existing in this last week and a half,” She answered honestly

“What about you, Jon?” Tyrion asked.

“That about sums it up,” Jon agreed. Dany was confused. Why was he being so taciturn all of a sudden? He had seemed so open yesterday, and even his quick kiss just now had been light and playful. Was it her or was it Tyrion that had him so fidgety?

“I know couples therapy can seem even more intimidating than individual therapy, so it is understandable, if especially this first time, you might not always be able to articulate what you are feeling, and that is okay, that is why we are all here together,” Tyrion said with a pointed look at Jon.

Tyrion had them each then give a short synopsis to each other of their relationship history, even though Dany was embarrassed because Jon, of course, knew her history already, and this question was mostly for her benefit. Jon answered honestly and openly, about his two fleeting relationships, with a woman named Val and then Ygritte, before meeting Dany, but his emotions were difficult to read. Dany still felt so hesitant talking about Drogo to him even with the knowledge that he knew of her past. Jon took her hand when she choked on a few tears, and she smiled at him, a smile that he returned. Talking about their relational histories took up the majority of the time, and Dany saw Tyrion glance at the clock.

“My last question before we call it quits today,” Tyrion started and looked at both of them, “How do you feel about this relationship?”

Dany considered for a moment. She felt happy, happier than she felt in a long time, but she was wary of getting ahead of herself, to often her impatience got the better of her and she did not want to ruin things.

“I feel happy, and positive,” Dany said, and when she looked over at Jon, he did not seem to be able to meet her eye.

“Jon, what about you?” Tyrion prodded.

Jon hesitated, then said softly, “I don’t know.”

 _He doesn’t know?_ Dany tried very hard not to take that personally. She had noticed more than once that Jon tended to process his emotions internally, maybe he just needed time to think about it. Tyrion studied Jon a moment before continuing.

“Well, I consider this a solid beginning,” Tyrion said, rising from his seat, “I want the two of you, to take time this week to talk and really listen to each other, maybe about any fears or hesitations you have about therapy or your relationship in general, and if anything comes up we will talk about it next week.”

            Dany and Jon left his office quietly, but hand in hand, as they made it out to the parking lot.

“Are you alright, Jon?” Dany asked turning to look at him.

“Yes,” Jon said firmly, “It was just a long day at work.”

“Oh,” Dany was not sure how much she should press.

“Do you have dinner plans?” He smiled at her.

“No, but I do need to go shopping and buy Missandei a baby shower gift, and I need to run to the bookstore and pick up a book Tyrion recommended for us,” Dany showed him the note Tyrion had given her, and he chuckled at the title.

“That’s quite a prescription from Dr. Lannister.”

Dany laughed with him, “Do you want to go with me?”

“Aye.”

 

            Dany blushed like a teenager when she purchased the book Tyrion had recommended, and Jon had teased her about how endearing that blush was. Dany felt her heart warm at his words. After the bookstore, they found themselves going into a baby store, walking in almost as if they were walking into a mine field.

“What did you have in mind?” Jon asked, seeming to try and make a strategy to be in and out of this store as quickly as possible.

“I don’t know, maybe some baby clothes? A baby blanket?” Dany offered. They found themselves staring at the baby clothes for a long while. Dany marveled at how tiny everything was, and when she looked over at Jon, she felt a stab of pain in her heart as she saw him run his finger along a pair of tiny newborn baby socks.

“Socks are always a good choice,” Dany said trying to include him in the process. Jon chuckled.

“They are very practical,” Jon grinned at her, “But not very fun.”

“Well, I don’t think the baby will know one way or the other,” Dany teased, “But if you think it is really necessary, we can get the poor baby a toy as well.”

Jon laughed, and handed her the pair of socks he had been touching. At the end of their adventure in the baby store, they had purchased a baby blanket, socks, a stuffed dog that looked a little like Ghost, and a bedtime story book.

“On Saturday, do you want to ride together out to the Starks for the baby shower?” Dany asked. Jon hesitated.

“Is it really necessary for me to go?” He asked.

“Oh, don’t be so medieval,” Dany bantered, “Co-ed baby showers are quite common now, besides Robb and Grey will both be there, and I’m sure they would love to see you.”

“You know it’s just not really my type of thing,” Jon said. Dany tried not to let the words _“you know”_ sting, maybe she had known at one point, but she was still learning these little things about him.

“Sorry,” Jon said, immediately, realizing the implications of what he said. He seemed tense today, more tense than usual.

“I’d like it if you were there,” Dany confessed trying to be honest with him. She did want him there. She did not want to face the baby shower alone, but she would not force him, “But you if don’t want to go, I’m not going to try and force you.”

Jon nodded.

 

            Hours later after dinner and a movie and wrapping Missandei’s gift together, she and Jon sat on his bed cross legged facing each other. The book Tyrion had recommended for them was about rebuilding intimacy. Dany had flipped through the pages and found the exercises Tyrion had mentioned.

“I think it will be good for us,” Dany chuckled, though she felt a strange stirring of nerves. The first exercise involved simple, non-sexual touches. Dany followed the instructions in the book. Being careful not to let her hands wonder to more intimate places, she ran her hands across his shoulders, down his arms, and squeezing his knees. She could not look at him too hard. She brought her hands to his face, and neck, and gently brushed her fingers through his hair. He gave her a soft smile.

“What is this for again?” He asked, teasingly. He began to touch her in the same way she had him.

“It’s to help rebuild intimacy,” Dany said, trying not to laugh at the look on his face. His hands ran down her legs and gave her knees a squeeze, then came up to cup her face, and touch her neck, and then he finished by running his fingers through her hair just as she did to him.

“See that wasn’t so bad, now was it?” She asked, grinning, and picking up the book to see what they were supposed to do next, in these first exercises.

“Well, what’s next, then?” He asked, pretending to be impatient. He glanced over at the book with her.

“Five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact,” Dany read aloud. Jon nodded. The book instructed them to face each other. They did. Then they were too touch their foreheads together and look into each other’s eyes for five minutes without talking or any other kinds of touch. They got into position. Dany felt her heart beat a little faster, as their eyes locked. Jon’s dark eyes looked stormy. She wondered what he was thinking about. The first minute or so seemed to drag on forever. She had not expected this exercise to be difficult, but the intensity of looking into his eyes for so long felt a little overwhelming. They obeyed the rules, and neither of them talked. They just looked. Dany shifted uncomfortably but managed to maintain eye contact. Half way through minute three, Dany was startled to see tears starting to form in Jon’s eyes. He broke away abruptly, as if he was just as surprised by the tears as she. He turned away from her.

“Jon?” She asked hesitantly, “Are you crying?” She inwardly cursed at how blunt she sounded. Dany wished she had the soothing, nurturing voice that Missandei possessed.

“Can we do these exercises another time?” He asked, still facing away from her.

“Sure,” Dany touched his shoulder, but he still did not turn and face her, “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” he said tersely, and she saw him wipe at his eyes.

“Do you want me to go?”

“No,” He said, and turned around and looked at her, his eyes were red but there were no more tears, “You can stay and sleep if you want.”

Dany nodded, and the two of them got comfortable. They turned out the light and remained on their respective sides of the bed, and Jon seemed to fall asleep immediately. Dany, however, could not shake the feeling that something was desperately wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Jon's thoughts on couple's therapy and a visit with Ned


	29. Broken Things (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was pretty emotional to write, I hope it is sad, touching and thought provoking.

Jon woke and was surprised to find Dany already out of bed and nowhere to be seen. Ghost was in bed with him now and the big white dog rose, when he rose to get up. Jon did not know what had come over him last night when they had been staring into each other’s eyes and felt a strange sense of embarrassment for his tears. He raked both his hands through his hair and headed toward the kitchen, expecting to find Dany somewhere in the apartment. She was no where to be found, but laying on the kitchen table he found a cup of hot coffee, a muffin, a newspaper, and a note, which read…

            _“I had to leave early to get ready for work and you were sleeping so soundly I did not have the heart to wake you. I have already taken Ghost for a walk, and I brought you home some coffee and a muffin from the shop down the street. I hope that makes your day easier!_

_~Dany”_

Jon’s eyes filled with tears again, just as they had the night before, and he tried to stifle them. She used to do this same thing before the accident, anytime she had to leave before he did. Did she even remember doing that for him? Jon wiped the tears away again, and shook his head trying to regain some composure. Ghost was watching him with a profound look of concern on his face, as if he understood. Maybe he did. Jon sat drinking his coffee, and eating his muffin, while reading the newspaper. Before the accident, Dany used to tease him about reading the newspaper, when he could get the news on his phone. _“Reading the newspaper like a crotchety, old grandfather,”_ she would laugh, then immediately go to stroking the hair at the back of his head. She had always been fond of his hair. Jon sighed and took a few calming breaths, before going to get ready for work.

            Feeling in his element again, work moved along smoothly. Jon loved his job, and it was easy to escape here and leave any strange emotional problems at the door. Couple’s therapy yesterday had left him tense and unsettled, and as much as he tried to hide it, Dany seemed to notice. While he ultimately had nothing to hide from Dany, he had not felt especially comfortable trying to tell her how he felt about their relationship while Tyrion was sitting there staring at them. He also was not particularly sure why he felt that way. He had nothing against Tyrion exactly. Tyrion was just like any other therapist, always digging around trying to make their client feel something. Jon sighed, and buried himself in his paper work for the rest of the day. Work was a haven, work was safe. Before Jon even realized, it was already nearly five o’clock.

“Jon!” Davos said, in a voice that sound urgent. Jon answered aptly. Davos was pacing behind his desk.

“Yes?”

“I just got a call about in an incoming case from the hospital,” Davos started. Jon did not usually have anything to do with hospital cases. Hospitals were the territory of his coworker, Brienne.

“What is it?”

“They need a social worker to come and sit with a young boy until his grandparents arrive, I can’t get a hold of Brienne, as I believe she is with another client,” Davos said, “I know it’s almost 5 and you are not on call this week, but they need someone immediately, they can’t wait for Brienne.”

“What happened?” Jon asked, already starting to retrieve his briefcase.

“Head on collision on the highway,” Davos said and took a deep breath, “Both parents died once they reached the hospital, but the boy only had a few bumps and bruises.”

Jon felt like someone had knocked the wind out of him. _An orphaned boy waiting in a hospital waiting room after his parents were killed in a car crash?_ That felt dreadfully familiar.

“The boy’s grandparents are on their way, but they live nearly four hours out, so it could take them the rest of the evening to get there,” Davos explained, “I’m sorry to have to ask you to go.”

“I will go,” Jon said resolutely, though his heart was pounding, “I don’t mind.” Davos gave him a relieved smile.

“If you need anything call, as I will be getting the case report ready, and seeing if I can communicate with the grandparents and the hospital.”

Jon nodded and was out the door in an instant.

           

            Jon entered the nearly empty hospital waiting area. A nurse stood holding a wailing child, looking so frazzled and lost that Jon knew without being told that this was his case. When Jon showed the nurse his badge, she looked so relieved to see him that it made him sad. The nurse sat the boy down, still crying, in a chair and tried to explain that Jon was going to look after him until his grandparents got there. The boy continued to ask for his mother. The nurse came over to Jon then and made sure that the little boy could not hear them, though he certainly was not paying them any attention.

“His name is Edric, he’s four,” The nurse explained, “He does not know yet about his parents, the grandparents want to be here and tell him themselves.” The nurse told him the little information they knew, and then headed back to work, leaving Jon with the crying toddler. Jon sat down next to him, and the little boy looked up at him and cried louder.

“I want momma!”

Jon’s heart was breaking. Jon gently patted Edric’s back, hoping to calm him, while he rummaged through his briefcase for the package of Kleenex he kept inside. Dany had suggested he kept Kleenex in his suitcase when he had landed his job at the agency. _“Children cry sometimes or have runny noses,”_ she had said with a smile, her fingers once again toying with the hair at the back of his neck. Jon shook his head trying to dispel the image, he needed to be focused right now. Ever so gently, he wiped the boy’s nose and eyes.

“It’s alright, Edric, your grandma and grandpa will be here soon,” Jon said softly, and prayed that was true.

“I want momma!” He wailed. Jon felt utterly powerless. A few people had trickled into the waiting area, and Jon felt protectiveness welling up inside him, wanting Edric to be shielded from the prying eyes of strangers, but he was not sure where else to go in the hospital.

“I know, I know you do,” Jon soothed, “It’s alright if you need to cry.” Jon willed himself not to cry, as a tightness in his chest threatened. The little boy clung to Jon’s arm, still crying. A few other hospital visitors entered the waiting area, and they glanced at Jon and Edric, with judgmental looks, as if he was a father and Edric was a son throwing a tantrum. Jon nearly scowled at them. What right did any of them have to judge a situation they knew nothing about?

“Come on, little man,” Jon urged, and picked up the toddler, and made to leave the waiting room.

“Thank you,” came a particularly snide remark from a man across the room, as he saw Jon leaving with the toddler. It took every ounce of self-restraint and professionalism Jon possessed to not turn around and punch the man in the face.

Instead, he carried Edric out into the hall, and the two paced back and forth down the hospital corridors. Edric wailed for what felt like an hour, though Jon knew it could not have been that long, and then he whimpered softly against Jon’s shoulder. Finally, Edric went limp in his arms, and Jon knew the boy had cried himself to sleep. Returning to the waiting area, seeing that the rudest guests had left, Jon sat down in a chair against the wall and leaned his own head back. Edric was sound asleep against his chest, with his little head resting on Jon’s shoulder. Dany’s voice still followed him as it had all day, _“You’d be a good father,”_ she had said with unshed tears in her eyes the day they had learned that it would be improbable that they would ever have a child of their own. He remembered that day so vividly it still haunted him sometimes. He had never seen her look so vulnerable as she did that day, laying on that exam table in the pink paper gown, holding his hand, and looking into his eyes, while he stroked her hair. Not even the day after the accident and learning about her amnesia had she looked so lost. Gods, he felt tears filling his eyes again. He firmly sniffed them back.

Jon continued to pat Edric’s back, hoping to keep him soundly sleeping, as they waited. The child had completely worn himself out, crying, and Jon could not blame him. Stuck here with strangers, having no idea what had happened to his mother and father, after something as frightening as a car accident, was traumatic. Jon understood. It had taken many years for him to realize how traumatic his mother’s death had been for him as a 6-year-old, sitting in that waiting room alone with the cold social worker, who had barely acknowledged him. Jon wondered if the woman had been like him, not used to working in the hospital or with grieving children. Jon hoped, if Edric remembered this day when he grew up that he would at least remember that he had not been completely alone.

Jon thought it had been hours. The waiting area was nearly entirely abandoned, and the hospital lights were dimming, as it grew later. Davos had texted him a couple of times, checking in. Edric still slept soundly against Jon. He felt his own eyes growing heavy as well, but knew he had to stay awake. Just when he thought he might drift off with his head leaned back against the wall, Jon saw an elderly couple, with tears in their eyes, walk into the waiting area with the nurse who had been with Edric earlier in the evening. Finally, Jon’s watch had ended. He stood and carried the boy to his grandparents, and made the appropriate legal verifications, before handing Edric over permanently to his sweet grandmother, who hugged Jon tightly around the neck. All Jon could do was hug her back and offer his condolences. His presence was no longer needed. They had each other now.

Jon slowly walked toward his car and checked his phone to make sure Sam had not had any trouble taking Ghost out. As soon as he got behind the wheel to go home, Jon felt an unwelcome wave of emotion choke him. A torrent of harsh tears began to fall from his eyes, and Jon felt a sudden need, not to return to his empty apartment, but for home. It was well after 10 p.m., but he dialed the number anyway.

“Jon?” Came Ned’s voice on the other side of the line.

“Dad, can I come home?”

 

            The Stark manor was dark except for a light on in the kitchen where Jon could see through the window Aunt Cat moving around and Ned sitting at the island in the kitchen. Aunt Cat was in her house robe and looked to be making tea, and Ned looked up as Jon parked his car out front. The front door opened as soon as Jon approached. Aunt Cat and Ned stood before him, and Jon followed them wordlessly into the house, and into the kitchen where Cat, just as he surmised, thrust a cup of hot tea in his hand. She stroked his hair for a moment as if he were a little boy again, before squeezing his shoulder.

“I’m going to go back to bed, so that the two of you can talk,” Cat said, with a gentle smile, “But I’ve put sheets and blankets on the bed in your old room for you to sleep.”

“Thank you, Aunt Cat,” Jon gave her a hug, and she kissed his cheek before disappearing.

            Ned and Jon sat at the island for a long while in silence, drinking tea. Ned never pushed, he merely waited. He had been like that for as long as Jon could remember. Finally, when Jon felt more sure of his voice, he looked up at Ned.

“I just spent the evening at the hospital with a client, a four-year-old boy, who lost his parents in a car accident,” Jon confessed quietly. Ned nodded, “I don’t usually work hospital cases.” Ned nodded again, “The whole time I was there all I could think about was mom, and…and Dany, when I should have been focused on this little boy whose life was being turned upside down.”

They were silent again, and Ned took a moment to refill their tea. Another silence ensued before Ned looked him in the eye.

“Your mother, as you know, was my only sister,” Ned started, “She and I were very close growing up, and I loved her very much.”

Jon nodded, feeling that familiar tightening in his chest that he had felt all day, which forecasted tears.

“But when she passed, I did not cry, nor did I cry at her funeral,” Ned confessed in a gravelly voice, “I think there was even a part of me for a while that did not believe she was truly gone.” Jon vaguely remembered as a little boy thinking that Uncle Ned had been tough in being able not to cry.

“The first week we brought you home with us, though, I found myself rearranging furniture in your room, or in my office, running errands for Cat at strange times of the day, and snapping at people who I generally had patience for, and then I threw myself into my work in a different way than I ever had before,” Ned explained, “She had made me promise the day you were born, that I would take care of you should anything ever happen to her, not that there was any question that I would, I love you and you are a part of me and my family as much as she was and my other children are.”

Jon felt a few of his tears fall down his cheeks.

“After a few months had passed, and I slowly stopped looking for her to show up, as if I was finally realizing that she was actually gone, I was cleaning out the attic where we had stored most of her things, and I wept for her. Many people believe that grief happens all at once and in a timely fashion, but I have found that it comes in waves, and it comes when it wants, there are no set patterns or timelines,” Ned put his hand on Jon’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze, “Losing a sister is different than losing a mother…or a fiancée…” Ned trailed off seeming to gauge Jon’s reaction. Jon sniffed, feeling a small amount of indignation well up in his chest.

“I did not lose Dany,” He said, trying to sound firm. Ned said nothing in reply. Jon looked at him, and Ned’s steady gaze held his. Harsher tears began to fall down Jon’s cheeks, making his shoulder’s shake.

“Let it out, son,” Ned squeezed his shoulder again, and Jon covered his face with his hands and wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Missandei's baby shower
> 
> Also, due to my schedule, I will likely not be able to get a chapter out for a couple of days, but I will get back to it as soon as I can. Thanks so much everyone!


	30. Day One (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading and for your comments! 
> 
> Here is a little bit more of Jon's process, before we get to Missandei's baby shower, it picks up the morning after chapter 29.
> 
> Also I should mention that Jon and Catelyn's relationship is completely different from canon, which may make Catelyn seem a little bit out of character. I decided to take Catelyn's role in a more positive direction, imagining what it could have been like for Jon if she had been a mother to him. I hope you all like it.

Jon woke in the early morning hours to something shaking his foot. His eyes felt puffy and groggy from crying last night, but he opened them and looked down to the foot of his childhood bed to see Rickon standing there, wearing a backpack and looking ready for school.

“Are you moving back into your room, Jon?” Rickon asked, “Are Ghost and Dany coming too? Dany can sleep in Sansa’s old room.”

Jon laughed.

“Rickon Stark!” Aunt Cat’s voice scolded from the hallway, “I told you to let Jon sleep!”

Rickon quickly scampered away, and Aunt Cat made to close the door, “You go back to sleep, Jon, there are breakfast muffins on the kitchen counter whenever you are ready to get up.”

“Thank you, Aunt Cat,” Jon said, and rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

            Due to putting in overtime last night at the hospital, Davos had already given him the morning off. Jon had intended to lie in bed for most of that time but unfortunately nature refused to let him, and so he rolled out of bed. Rickon had been too young to remember the last time Jon had lived in this room, but Jon had always stayed here on leaves from the military and then once again on vacations from University. He had made many beautiful memories in this house, including meeting Dany for the very first time. It had been winter vacation. He and Robb had come home and found that Sansa had brought her platinum haired roommate home with her. Jon remembered the first time he saw her. She had been sitting cross-legged on the floor playing with Rickon, while Sansa had braided her hair. Dany had looked so much like she belonged there with his family that thinking about it now made his heart ache. Jon was certainly no poet, and had always considered himself rather sensible about love, and he never believed in love at first sight, but after he had spent that very first day with her, he had known she was the one. While silvery blonde hair, playful eyes, and the sweet curve of her breast had winded him that day all those years ago, it was when she opened her mouth to reveal a gentle heart tucked beneath her fiery passion, that he knew. He knew from day one.

            Jon walked down to the kitchen to retrieve one of Aunt Cat’s breakfast muffins before heading to the backyard. Aunt Cat was in her glass garden, tending plants and so Jon went to see if she needed help.

“Oh, Jon, I’m sorry, I told that boy to let you sleep,” Cat said with an exasperated sigh, “I’m afraid the little scamp has been quite lonely since Bran went away to school and Arya moved to the other side of town.”

“It’s alright, Aunt Cat,” Jon smiled at her. Cat stopped what she was doing to look at Jon for a moment.

“Your mother would have been proud of you, you know?” She said, gently, taking Jon completely off guard.

“I know your mother and I had our differences, but you are living proof that she was a good mother with a beautiful heart,” Cat stroked a hand through his hair as if he were a little boy again, “Though I daresay, you need a haircut. You and Robb both for that matter.”

Jon chuckled, “Do you need some help out here?”

“No, but I am always happy for company.”

            Even though she said she did not need help, Jon helped her trim and water her plants anyway.

“Sansa tells me that Dany is warming to you again,” Cat said in that easy nonchalant way she had which conveyed a thousand opinions.

“Yes,” Jon said, simply, not particularly wanting to talk about Dany this morning. At couple’s therapy, Tyrion had undone him with one question. _How do you feel about this relationship?_ Jon had felt something in his heart bulk and break, as the only answer he could think of came tumbling from his mouth. Dany had looked a bit stung, but he could not lie, not to her.

“You know,” Cat said, gently, “I’ve always known Dany was the one for you, she suited you much better than any of those other hussies you dated.”

“Ygritte was not that bad,” Jon laughed, “Val maybe, but not Ygritte.”

“Well, maybe not, but I knew the first day I saw you and Dany together that the pair of you were special,” Cat said, trimming some dead branches off a plant. Jon felt a pang of pain in his chest.

“So did I,” Jon nearly whispered.

“I know losing her the way you have is terrible,” Cat said rather bluntly.

“I haven’t lost her.”

“Maybe not in actuality, but you are going to forever remember moments with her, that she may never have again.”

“She could get her memories back.”

“Jon, I think you know that at this point the likelihood of her memory coming back is small.”

Jon nodded, feeling somewhat lost. He did not want to hear any of this.

“I’m not saying these things to hurt you, Jon, I just want to be sure your precious heart is being taken care of.”

“What are you saying?” Jon asked, moisture welling in his eyes. “That I should leave her, just so I will never get hurt again?”

“No, love is not some romantic fiction, it’s hard work,” Cat touched his arm and gave it a gentle squeeze, “I believe love is built not discovered, and love is about choosing just as much as it is about falling.”

Jon nodded.

“I just want to be sure that you are not alone in choosing, I just want to make sure she is choosing you too.”

Aunt Cat gave his cheek a sweet pat, “And just so you know, I approve infinitely more of Dany, than of a certain other female that I expect will one day be my daughter-in-law.”

Jon laughed, and hugged Aunt Cat around the shoulders, placing a kiss on the top of her auburn hair, “Marge is not so bad, Aunt Cat.”

“I’ve always told Robb that whenever he is ready he can have the engagement ring Ned gave me for whomever he chooses to marry, and he asked me for it the other day,” Cat sighed, “I can’t help but cringe thinking of my ring on that girl’s hand.”

“I think if the two of you gave each other a chance, you and Marge might come to some sort of understanding.”

“Maybe,” she said, “But it’s hard for a mother to give up her first baby.”

            Cat and Jon walked back to the big house together, the crisp air stinging their faces indicated winter had come.

“You know it was right here in this yard, that I knew you and Dany were meant to be.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, I was watching from the kitchen window, the two of you were in the porch swing together,” Cat chuckled at the memory, “I don’t know what you said to her that night, but she had hopped up off that swing as if she could breathe fire, and was glaring at you, and you stood their staring right back, completely unwavering, steady, like you always are.”

Jon remembered that night, it had been only a few days after he had met her. Somehow the conversation had turned to Daario, and Jon had dared to tell her that she deserved better. Jon rubbed the back of his neck, chagrinned, his concern that night had not been wholly unselfish. He also had not known Aunt Cat had been watching them from the window. Jon sighed, and Cat squeezed his arm one more time.

“Everything is going to be okay, sweet boy, just take it one step at a time.”

 

            At work that afternoon, Jon and Davos debriefed Edric’s short case. Davos knew Jon’s history with his mother and felt it important for him to be able to verbalize any concerns or frustrations that the case may have presented for him.

“Jon, I need to know, as your boss and hopefully as your friend, that you are taking care of yourself,” Davos asked after working through the paperwork, and discussing the event.

“I don’t know what you mean?” Jon said, not looking Davos in the eye as he finished up signing some of the paperwork.

“I can tell this case for you has triggered some bad memories for you, and understandably so, and after losing a fiancée…”

“Why does everyone keep saying that I lost Dany?” Jon snapped, quite harshly, “She’s not dead, she’s not gone, in fact she and I have a date planned for this evening, I have not lost her.”

Davos scratched his beard, seeming to consider his next words carefully.

“I did not mean to suggest that Dany died in that car accident,” Davos started, “What I meant was that you did experience a form of loss, in that the entire dynamics of your relationship with her have changed, and in many ways you are starting over with someone, you are coping with a lost relationship similarly to how one might deal with losing someone in death, only your situation has been furthered complicated by the fact that the person lost in question is still a significant part of your life.”

Jon just looked at him, and so Davos continued, “acknowledging that there is a grieving process that you need to go through for the relationship of the past does not diminish or negate your current relationship with Dany, in fact I think it is imperative for continuing in a healthy relationship with Dany, that you give yourself time and space to grieve the loss of your past relationship with her.”

Davos rarely said so much at one time, and Jon respected the man too much to put forth much of an argument. Ned, Catelyn, and now Davos, insisting that he lost Dany in a way, nettled him. These were not feelings he wanted to examine overly closely, which formed part of his resistance to Tyrion in therapy. Why people insisted on pressing issues out of both his and their control confounded him. The situation was what it was, and he knew that ultimately, he could choose to walk away from Dany, or he could stay and make it work. What did complicated emotions of grief have to do with anything? Jon was a practical man, and always had been, to him the choice was, did he want Dany or did he not? Jon thought back to the first day he had met her, and knew that he did want her, he had wanted her from the first day. Why couldn’t people just leave him alone?

“Go home, Jon, get some rest, talk to your therapist, or even to Dany, your feelings are important too, grieving for your past with Dany, will not diminish the love you still feel for her,” with that said Davos rose and ushered Jon out of his office.

            Jon left work that day feeling confused and frustrated, and now unsure that he even wanted to go out with Dany tonight. Originally, they had planned to go to a particularly boisterous restaurant, that Jon knew she would like, that was usually full of college students, good food, and live music. Maybe they could go somewhere quiet instead, somewhere they could talk, Tyrion had wanted them to talk, didn’t he?

            After going home, showering and walking Ghost, Jon made his way to Dany’s home. She appeared at the door, before he even had a chance to knock.

“I was watching for you,” She explained with a smile. He grinned at her, feeling a sharp pain in his chest, and was taken completely by surprise when she suddenly stood on her tiptoes and placed a quick kiss on his lips. She blushed then, looking almost afraid that he had not wanted it, and so he gently grabbed her, pulling her against his chest, and kissed her passionately. A kiss she would never forget. When he was done, she looked up at him.

“You ready?” He asked, raking his hand through his hair.

“Yes,” She took his hand, and went to get in the car, “Jon, I have a request,” She stated once they were settled in the car and in motion. Jon chuckled at her words.

“Alright.”

“I’m not sure how to ask this, because I am afraid it will be hard for you.”

Jon was not sure how to respond to that, “Just ask, love.”

“Can we go to the pier at Winterfell Lake?”

Jon felt his heart skip.

“I mean, we don’t have to, if you think that would be too difficult for you,” She said softly, looking out the car window. Jon considered her words for a moment, maybe this was the space they needed in order to talk.

“Yes, we can go to the pier.”

            The sun was setting across the lake as they arrived at the small pier which jut far out into the water. There were no other people anywhere in sight. Jon and Dany walked hand in hand down toward the end of the pier. Jon noticed Dany’s eyes darting around studying her surroundings as if looking for something. They made it to the end and sat down with their legs dangling over the edge and watched as the sun sank into the water.

“Tyrion and Sansa, and even Missandei seem skeptical,” Dany started. Jon glanced over at her. “So, it is okay if you are skeptical too.”

Jon was not sure what she was getting at, so he did not interrupt.

“Ever since you showed me the picture of our first date here, I cannot shake the feeling that I remember it,” Dany confessed, and Jon, unsurprising to him at this point, felt tears building in his eyes as they had so often in the last couple of days, “I’ve even dreamed of it… the pier I mean, of being here. It’s all very hazy, and Tyrion thinks that I’ve just imagined that I remember because of being told about it and seeing the picture…but I don’t think I’m imagining things, Jon.”

Jon gave her hand a squeeze.

“I want to remember so badly,” Dany whispered, and Jon glanced over again and saw tears in her eyes to match his own. Dany turned to face him then, and Jon saw a strange look of guilt etched into her beautiful eyes, “I would remember if I could, you know, that right?” Tears fell down her cheeks.

“Hey, hey,” Jon gathered her in his arms, “I know that, love, it’s not your fault, you did not ask for this.”

“Neither did you,” She tried to control her tears and then buried her face against his neck. They were quiet for a long while, just holding onto each other, a strange shared grief and loss between them, that Jon knew no one else could understand.

Finally, after some time had passed, Dany broke the silence.

“Jon, can I ask you a question?” She asked hesitantly.

“Yes.”

She hesitated again seeming to measure her words, “Why did you cry… the other night…when we were looking into each other’s eyes?”

Jon sighed deeply. Did he tell her the truth? Did he share with her the struggles he had been wrestling with the last couple of days? He looked at her then.

“I’m afraid you would not like the answer,” He admitted quietly. Dany raised her head and looked up at him.

“Tyrion said we were supposed to start talking to each other, didn’t he? Even if it is hard?” She said and looked like she was bracing herself. Jon had not been sure then why he had started to cry, but after mulling over the words of Ned, and Cat and even Davos, he knew now even if he did not want to admit it.

“You can tell me,” she urged.

“I think…” Jon released a deep sigh, “I think… it was the first time since the accident…that my mind got quiet enough…quiet enough to think about all that I have lost…that we have lost together,” He stammered out and chanced a glance at her. All she did was nod and lay her head back against his shoulder.

“Jon…” Dany started in a quiet shaky voice.

“Yes?”

“I want to be with you,” She said with firmness, “But I…I don’t want you to hurt every time you are with me.”

Jon gently pulled her into another embrace, “No, no, love, it’s not like that,” he reassured, “It’s just… I think it is taking me more time to come terms with losing those years with you than I originally thought it would.”

Dany nodded against him, and he could feel her cheeks wet against his shirt. As the last of the sun melted away, Jon and Dany held each other. They said very little, but not much could be said, as nothing they said or did could truly heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jon's process is not quite complete, but next chapter we will get a peek behind what is going on in Dany's head about it. 
> 
> Next Chapter: Missandei's baby shower


	31. Gifts (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a short, fluffy chapter, that I hope everyone enjoys!

Dany drank her morning tea and watched as Sansa fretted over wrapping a gift for Missandei’s baby shower.

“You and Jon did not stay out late last night,” Sansa commented, “You two didn’t have a fight, did you?”

Dany chuckled at her friend’s concern, “No, we did not have a fight.” Dany could not share with Sansa what they had done, it felt to intimate to share with anyone but Jon. They had sat on the pier for well over two hours, holding each other. They had talked, and they had been quiet, and they both had shed some tears. No, Dany could not tell anyone, last night had been much to private.

“Jon, is coming today, isn’t he?” Sansa asked. Dany felt her heart drop. After all the sweetness they had shared last night, Dany had not wanted to ask him again to come to the baby shower, even though she had wanted too. As much as she wanted him there, she had not wanted to push him on something he had seemed so resistant too.

“I don’t think so.”

Sansa gave her a strange look but made no further comment.

            Dany helped Sansa gather what they needed from their place to take to the Starks for the party. While eager to celebrate Missandei and Grey’s baby, Dany had felt some trepidation about the party. Sansa had told her that a few of the guests, Grey’s brother’s wife and one of Missandei’s coworkers, were pregnant, then there would be one new baby with another couple, and then of course Little Sam Tarly. While Dany felt confident now in her ability to maintain her composure, she felt like the party was a veritable mine field of baby emotions, which is why she had wanted Jon there. Jon’s steady presence was comforting to her. Dany smiled to herself at that thought, she had never before been the type to find comfort in another person, but Jon was comforting in a way that she never knew that she needed until now.

            The Stark house was already abuzz with activity as Marge had gotten there quite early to start decorating. Ned had taken Rickon fishing for the day to keep the rambunctious little boy out of everyone’s hair, which Dany felt sad about. She had wanted to see Rickon. Marge was giving Robb marching orders on decorations, while Catelyn was in the kitchen prepping food when Sansa and Dany arrived. Cat came and gave them each a hug and a peck on the cheek.

“I’m so glad you’re both here, Marge and Robb, are putting gray hairs on my head,” Cat said in exasperation. Sansa laughed and went to help Marge and Robb. Dany stayed in the kitchen to help Cat. She had not spent much time since the accident with Jon’s Aunt Cat, but from the little she knew of her, she liked her and wanted to know her better. Dany had never known her own mother, as she died giving birth to Dany, and so mother figures in general were both strange and fascinating creatures to her, for that matter she had never known her father either, and so she figured she could say the same for father figures. She wondered how she should address Catelyn. Did she call her Mrs. Stark? Catelyn? Aunt Cat? Jon had called her Aunt Cat, but was that what Dany had called her before the accident? Dany was not sure, and so simply offered to help with whatever needed doing.

“Would you like to help me make the last batch of cookies?” Cat offered. Dany smiled, and proceeded to the recipe book. Sansa had learned to bake from Cat, and had baked with Dany often enough, but Dany felt like a little girl, helping her mother in the kitchen as Cat handed her ingredients for the bowl. She had never baked as a little girl, not that she had too, but there was something very homey about baking with a mother in the kitchen, whether you were a little boy or a little girl. Dany felt like she had been chasing a home for her entire life, and even though it had been several months since the accident now, she was still amazed at how often she found that home with Jon’s family.

“Did I ever bake with you before the accident?” Dany asked, softly. Cat turned sympathetic eyes to Dany.

“A few times, usually around Christmas,” Cat said with a gentle smile. Dany knew that Cat had always been a stay at home mother and had done all of those very traditional things which Dany would imagine an older stay at home mother would do. She cooked and baked cookies on a regular basis, she sewed, and she kept a garden. Dany wondered if her own mother had done any of those things.

“Here,” Cat handed Dany a package of crunchy chocolate candies, “Put those in the batter,” Cat instructed and gave her playfully grin, “This is Jon’s favorite cookie recipe.”

Dany giggled and did as instructed.

            Guests had started to arrive as Dany was pulling the last batch of cookies from the oven. From where she stood in the kitchen, she could make out at least two women, one being Missandei, with pregnant bellies, in the living room. That was when she also heard the distinctive cry of a new baby. _She could do this, she was strong_. Dany took the plate of cookies she had just removed from the oven to the table they had set up for food, and took a few steadying breathes. She heard people cooing over baby bumps, and then over the new baby, and everywhere Dany looked she seemed to be met with strangers. Missandei was far away on the other side of the room. Dany turned around to go back to the kitchen and nearly collided with someone. When she looked up to apologize for her clumsiness, it was Jon’s smiling face that greeted her.

“You came,” She said in surprise, before throwing her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. Dany felt warmth blossoming within her, instead of the cold panic that had been trying to settle. Jon laughed and hugged her back.

“Yeah, well, I figured I should come and help and not leave Robb at Sansa and Marge’s party planning mercy,” Jon teased, and when Dany looked up at him, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He had come for her, she could see it in his eyes, and that knowledge made Dany tighten her arms around him again and bury her face against his chest for a few more blissful seconds.

“If I’m to be of any use, I’m afraid you are going to have to let me go,” Jon chuckled, stroking her arms that were still holding him hostage.

“Never,” Dany said, trying to sound playful herself, but the beautiful, gentle smile he gave her at her response made her weak at the knees, “Cat taught me to make your favorite cookies,” Dany finally said, deflecting from the raw emotion which had suddenly found its way around them. She still had her arms around him when Jon playfully walked them backward, toward the table to snatch a cookie. He offered her a bite before taking a bite himself.

“Well, I must say you have done quite an admirable job on these,” Jon complimented.

“I’m glad you like them.”

“We should make them together at home sometime.”

 _Home_. Dany’s heart skipped at the word. Was Jon’s home still hers? Was she allowed to think of a future together yet? Things had been so uncertain in her mind, and in their relationship that she had been fearful of letting herself dream to far into the future. It had taken her by surprise how quickly Jon had found permanent residence once again in her heart, and for awhile she attributed that to some sort of residual emotions from before the accident, but she was beginning to realize, that what she felt for him was much more than just a faint, fading emotion rooted in her broken memory. It was something else entirely that she could not yet name.

“Are the two of you going to join the rest of us?” Robb’s amused voice broke into their bubble, and Dany and Jon startled, and then laughed nervously seeing Robb, Marge and Sansa staring at them with stupid grins on their faces. Dany reluctantly released her hold on Jon, in order for them to mix with the guests.

“Well, the two of you sure looked cozy,” Marge teased.

“Oh, shut up,” Dany laughed, good naturedly and walked over to greet Missandei, while Marge laughed.

            Food and mingling were relatively safe, Dany told herself as she chatted with Missandei for awhile and met some of her friends from work, that was until they had been surrounded by the other two pregnant women and the couple with new baby brought her over to show Missandei. Both Dany and Missandei offered the appropriate attentions to the infant, and Dany had to admit the tiny little girl was adorable. She felt that sweet ache in her heart that she often got when she thought of babies. Dany looked up looking for an escape route, just before the proud parents asked,

“Do you want to hold her?”

Dany hesitated; she was not sure she had ever held a baby so small before and was not even sure she wanted too at this moment. The proud parents, however, as all proud parents are, were anxious that everyone should adore their little creation. Missandei gave her a concerned look as if she might break at any moment, but when she glanced up she noticed Jon staring at her from across the room, and it was not a look of concern or worry at all, in fact he was smiling at her, a soft, encouraging smile, his eyes full of understanding, that made her feel stronger. Feeling resolved and still feeling Jon’s eyes on her, Dany held out her arms and took the infant from her mother. Dany cradled her in her arms. The baby snuggled closer to Dany, and Dany smiled at her.

“What’s her name?” Dany asked.

“Alys,” said the mother. It only lasted for a moment, before the infant was ready to be back in her mother’s arms, and so Dany relinquished her, feeling proud of herself for not falling apart. Maybe she was not so breakable after all? She glanced back at Jon, and he looked proud of her too.

 

            The baby shower moved along splendidly in Dany’s opinion. Jon sat at her feet, during the gift opening, like a sentry, as if he had been doing it for years, which upon second thought Dany realized he probably had been doing it for years. Dany chuckled, trying to find some little bit of brightness in all of this. Hoping he would not mind, she reached down and toyed with the ends of his hair. She loved his hair. Dany had to suppress a laugh when he seemed to absentmindedly lean his head back into her hand, like Ghost might when she petted him. Finally, he leaned his head all the way back against her knee in order to look up at her.

“Do you like your hair being played with?” Dany teased. Both a shadow and a smile passed across Jon’s handsome face. Dany stroked a few stray curls out of his face.

“You used to do that before the accident,” Jon confessed, with a soft, vulnerable look in his eyes.

“Oh,” Feeling guilty for bringing up the past, Dany hastily removed her hand from his curls, but he caught it.

“It’s alright, Dany, I like it,” He said, placing her hand back against his hair. She noted that he seemed to have something else to say but held his tongue.

            When the silly baby shower games began, Dany excused herself, not particularly fond of these types of party games. Going into the kitchen, she started to wash dishes to help with the inevitable cleanup.

“Dany, honey, you don’t need to do that right now,” said Cat as she entered to refill the punch bowl.

“I know, I just wanted to make things easier,” Dany said. Cat gave her a gentle smile.

“How are you holding up?” Cat asked.

“I think,” Dany started searching for the right and most honest words, “I think I am as alright as I can be under the circumstances at the moment, though that could change by tomorrow.”

Cat patted her arm, “I know I have no room to talk as I have five children, but…I did miscarry once, between Arya and Bran,” Cat went quiet for a moment, “And I know what a mother’s ache feels like when you hold a newborn baby knowing what you’ve lost.”

Dany smiled, and Cat gave her a hug, before going back out into the party with the punch bowl.

Music started to play from the living room and Dany knew the party was wrapping up. Instead of rejoining everyone, Dany wandered out onto the back porch and studied the porch swing for a moment, before looking out across the yard. Never in her life had she found a place that she felt she belonged more than here with Jon and his family. The thought made a different sort of ache form in her heart. The sadness in Jon’s eyes last night was haunting her. Did he regret that they had decided to stay together after everything that had happened? Dany felt sick to her stomach at that thought. She did not want to be a constant source of pain to him.

“You alright out here?” Jon’s voice interrupted the direction of her dark thoughts. She turned and offered him a smile, and he came up and almost shyly wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him.

“I’m alright,” Dany assured him, leaning her head back against his shoulder, to let him know that his arms around her were more than welcome, “Thank you for coming today.”

“As I said, I couldn’t abandon Robb,” Jon teased and pressed a warm kiss into her hair.

“I think you may be my hero,” Dany confessed with a smile, and Jon laughed softly, holding her a bit tighter. They were silent for a bit, and Jon swayed them back and forth with the music that was wafting outside from the house.

“Arya, and Sansa want us to stay after the baby shower, and play games, do you want too?” Jon asked. Dany smiled and nodded. Dany glanced over at the porch swing once again, before staring out over the yard.

“Jon, are we going to be alright?” She suddenly asked, feeling vulnerable. Jon was silent for a few seconds, and she felt him look over in the direction of the porch swing as well.

“I don’t know, love,” He said and pressed another kiss against her hair, “But we are going to take it one step at a time…together.”

“Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Choices....Couple's therapy round 2


	32. Choices (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know an update to my little fic cannot compare with the real update we got last night, which I am super excited about, but here is another chapter for what it is worth haha
> 
> Thanks for reading! This story is getting closer to it's end, I promise I am not going to drag it out much longer as it has already become much longer than I originally intended. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“I want to get everything registered and settled before we leave on our trip,” Dany said to him, as she dragged him down the aisles of the university bookstore.

“Dany, I realize you are excited, but don’t you think you can wait to buy your books and notebooks until a little closer to the start of the spring semester?” Jon asked, teasingly, though he did not really mind being pulled along. Dany kissed the back of his hand that she was holding, giving him an almost shy grin. It still surprised him when she would turn shy on him.

“I’ve been doing all the readings that Professor Varys has recommended, and I want to get ahead on the work for next semester,” She explained, seeming hesitant to meet his eye, “I’m just ready to feel normal again, to feel like I’m not just recouping my losses.”

Jon bent down a little trying to catch her gaze, wanting to restore the light jovial mood that they had just stumbled out of, “Well, I can’t fault you there, but I would like to grab a meal before we go see Tyrion,” He teased, though in actuality they had hours before they had to be at Tyrion’s office.

“Don’t worry, darling, I will feed you before therapy, I don’t want you being a grumpy ass to Tyrion,” Dany teased, the lightness of their mood returning. She smiled up at him endearingly, and Jon felt warm all over.

“Darling?” He smirked. Dany had never called him by a pet name before, neither before nor after the accident.

“You don’t like it?” She asked with a fake pout, “Perhaps you prefer honey or sugar or sweetling?”

Jon grabbed her and pulled her to him, feeling positively feral as he looked down at her, “To hear you talk, one would think I was some kind of dessert,” He whispered gruffly in her ear, before placing a kiss in her hair.

“You can brood and grumble all you want, Jon Snow,” Dany whispered right back, a slight blush on her cheeks, “I know underneath all that you are the sweetest man I know.”

He chuckled at that and released her, when he realized they were drawing stares from other customers.

            After Dany made her purchases, they headed toward a café for lunch.

“Sansa is joining us for lunch,” Dany informed him. When they entered the restaurant Sansa’s bright red-head was not difficult to spot.

“Got all of your classes settled?” Sansa asked after they ordered food.

“Yes,” Dany beamed, “I’m so excited I can barely contain myself.” Jon smiled at her enthusiasm. He loved how she never did anything in half measures, she was always all in regarding her passions and commitments. Jon unable to stop himself reached over and ran his fingers through Dany’s hair as she and Sansa talked about their upcoming trip.

“Oh my god, Jon, could the two of you stop being so disgustingly cute while we are discussing plans?” Sansa said in mock annoyance, snapping Jon out of his reverie. Jon chuckled, but kept his hands to himself for the rest of the meal.

“Anyway, so…” Sansa continued, “Pod wants me to come home with him for Christmas, to meet his parents.”

“Sansa, that’s wonderful!” Dany exclaimed.

“That does mean though that I’m going to have to leave the cabin a day or so early and miss the boat ride back.”

“We are really taking a boat up there and back?” Jon, ever practical, asked. He did not understand the need to drive all the way down to the coast just to sail it up to Eastwatch.

“Well, Marge is all aflutter about it, and Robb is in love with the idea as well,” Sansa explained, “I think it could be fun, but I sure as hell do not want to be alone on that boat with Robb and Marge. Arya and Gendry are driving because they do not have as much time off work as we do, and so they are meeting us there a little later.”

“I don’t mind going on the boat with you, Sans,” Dany said with a smile. That settled it as far as Jon was concerned, as he did not want to be Arya and Gendry’s third wheel any more than Sansa wanted to be Robb and Marge’s. Sansa whipped out her laptop and the three of them made their reservations for the boat ride, so that their trip, which was just around the corner, would be all settled.

 

            When they were done eating, Sansa scurried off back to class and Jon and Dany returned to Dany’s apartment to wait until their therapy appointment. Dany had suggested they do one of their intimacy exercises before they go, which Jon felt somewhat hesitant about even if they had successfully accomplished a few of the simpler ones since the last time Jon had dissolved into tears while looking into her eyes. He was still a little embarrassed about that but was trying to actively participate with Dany as she seemed to have actually read the book, while Jon had only giving the exercises a precursory look.

            They went into the bedroom. Dany laid down on her back and looked up at him. Jon gave her a half-smile, which she returned. She had turned shy on him again, but it was not a fearful shyness, so Jon sat down on the bed with her. He looked down at the book to follow the directions.

“You have to sit up first,” He said.

“Do I?” Dany asked, seriously.

“Yes, it says we have to touch our foreheads together and take seven deep breaths,” Jon explained, trying not to laugh at how specific the directions were, especially as Dany was being so serious about it. Dany leaned toward him and so he followed suit. They touched their foreheads together, and just breathed. Jon wanting more connection, touched her knee, but she smacked his hand away. He could see suppressed laughter in her eyes.

“If you keep breaking the rules, we will have to start over,” She scolded in a whisper.

“Isn’t talking breaking the rules?” Jon whispered with a teasing grin.

“We have to start over,” She said in exasperation, “I’ve lost count of how many breaths we’ve taken, due to your wandering hands.”

At that, Jon threw back his head and laughed, which she looked rather put out about when he looked at her again, so he tried to put on a straight face.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll keep my wandering hands to myself this time,” he agreed. They started the exercise over and managed to get through their seven breaths without Jon’s hands distracting them.

“What’s next?” Jon asked. They leaned over the book together and Dany blushed but laid down on her back as the book instructed. This exercise instructed Jon to sit between Dany’s legs, and use his hands to put grounding pressure on her thighs, knees and calves while maintaining as much eye contact as possible.

            Jon felt an awkward tension rise in the room as he moved to do as the book instructed, and Dany seemed intent on staring at the ceiling.

“You alright, love?” He asked, softly, as he gently drew her legs to rest on either side of him while he sat cross-legged between them. Dany glanced down and smiled.

“Yes.”

Jon looked at the book again and starting at her feet began to give her gentle squeezes, moving up her feet and along her calves.

“We are supposed to be looking at each other,” Jon said, noticing her eyes wander. He let his hands rest on her knees applying gentle pressure there until he regained her attention. She looked down at him.

“What are you thinking about?” Jon asked, hoping to relieve some of the awkwardness that had sprung up.

“Are we supposed to be talking during this one?” Dany asked, with a saucy smile. Jon chuckled as he moved his hands down along her calves again, and back up, then looked down at the book.

“It does not say,” Jon studied it again. Dany giggled.

“What?”

“You look very studious with that book down there,” She teased him, though her cheeks were flushed.

“Well, I’ve always been a good student.”

“Have you?” Dany giggled again, “Somehow I doubt that.”

            Jon smiled at her. He had missed this, missed these playful moments that only she seemed able to draw out of him. Before the accident she had always teased him about how serious he could be, even in some of their darker moments as a couple her playfulness could always coax a smile out of him. As he looked at her now, he was struck by how much he needed her, how much they needed each other. They balanced each other so well. He gave her legs right above her knees a gentle squeeze, and she let out a yelp and laugh. He looked up at her, completely startled by her reaction.

“That tickled,” She complained, still laughing. Jon had to laugh with her.

“I did not know you were ticklish there,” Jon said in surprise, a little thrown off that he did not know this about her body already. Dany was still giggling.

“Neither did I,” She met his eyes, and her face softened, “Come up here beside me, Jon.”

“But the book…” Jon started, but did not finish when she grabbed his hands.

“Can you just hold me until it’s time to leave?”

Jon nodded and wrapped his arms around her, her back to his chest.

“What were you thinking about?” Jon asked again, planting a kiss into her hair. Dany caressed the arm he had draped around her waist.

“I don’t want to lose you,” She confessed in a small, sad voice that confused Jon. Was she really worried about such a thing?

“I’m right here, love,” He assured her, holding her a little tighter. They lay together in silence for a little while longer until they had to leave for therapy.

 

            Jon always felt a little defensive at therapy, even when he did not mean to be, and the roller coaster of emotions he had ridden this week had him particularly on edge. After cuddling in the bed, Dany had become surprisingly quiet as well, and he wandered what had shifted her mood. As they settled into their seats with Tyrion staring at them, Jon chanced a glance at her. He took her hand and gave a reassuring squeeze.

“How are the intimacy exercises going?’ Tyrion asked. Dany glanced at him and Tyrion but did not speak. Jon squeezed her hand again, confused by her silence. An hour ago, she had seemed fine.

“Well, I would say they are going fine except for the times when we either dissolve into tears or laughter,” Jon admitted.

“Has anything been particularly difficult about them?” Tyrion asked, eyeing Dany curiously. Jon sighed and tried his best to be open, just as he had been with Dany last week at the pier.

“I think…” He started, “I think it’s been…harder for me than I realized coming to terms with everything that has happened…with everything that we’ve lost.” Tyrion nodded in understanding. Jon glanced over at Dany and was startled to find tears welling in her eyes. Tyrion noticed too.

“Dany, how do you feel about Jon’s process?”

“Fine,” She said, though she obviously was not, “We talked about it last Friday night.”

“I’m glad to hear that the two of you are finally using your words,” Tyrion chuckled, “But is there anything more you would like to say now? Maybe something you did not say on Friday?”

Dany did not look at Tyrion, but she did look at Jon, and when she did, she dissolved into weeping, which took both Jon and Tyrion completely off guard. Jon got off the couch and knelt in front of her taking her hands in his.

“Dany, love,” He started in a soft voice, “If there is something you want to say, you can say it.”

“I don’t…” she sniffed, “I don’t…want to be the reason that your life is hard, or that you hurt.”

“Dany,” Jon did not know what to say. _I don’t want to lose you_ , she had said when they laid in bed this afternoon. When her eyes met his, he saw fear there. Was she afraid he would leave her for someone who was easier? Someone less complicated? Jon knew those were things Daario had always threatened her with, but Jon had never. She of course could not remember, all she had to reassure her were a few months of Jon’s love and affections. Jon felt an irrational surge of anger within him, when he thought he should be feeling sympathy. He stood up and paced the room.

“Dany, it’s never going to be easy!” he finally snapped, whirling around with a ferocity that seemed to surprise both Tyrion and Dany, “But most things worth doing are not easy!”

Dany wiped at her eyes, and Jon saw a little spark of her fire come back into her eyes.

“Jon, I feel like everything I can’t remember, all those years we lost, they will always be a source of pain for you and I don’t want to hurt you!”

“Dany, it’s going to hurt, there may be days, when I might need to weep over it just like there were this week,” Jon faced her trying to cool his anger, “But loving someone is not just about remember all of those little details of falling, its also about building something and choosing someone.” Jon said, hearing Aunt Cat’s words come tumbling out of his mouth. They stared at each other for a few moments, and Jon looked at Tyrion who actually looked somewhat uncomfortable at how quickly this session had escalated.

“I just don’t want you to have any regrets,” Dany snapped, finding her voice, and standing from the couch as well, “At this point, Jon, it is likely that I am never going to get those years back!”

“It doesn’t matter,” He glared at her, and she stared at him.

“How could you say that?” Dany asked. Jon tried to soften his voice as he came ad took her hands in his again.

“Dany, we can stay together, and I will have to learn to live with being the only with those memories, or…” Jon did not even want to say it but he knew he had too, “Or we can break up, and I will still have to learn to live with being the only one with those memories. Those are the choices.”

They were silent for a few seconds as the choices actually sank in, and Jon felt a deep sense of acceptance, not resignation, as if a huge weight was being lifted from his shoulders by acknowledging these things with her. He gave her a gentler smile now, but kept firm resolve in his voice.

“No matter what we choose, the outcome for those lost memories will be the same, except that if we choose each other then maybe we can build something new together.”

Dany stared at him, and then down at her feet, gnawing on her lower lip.

“I think…” Tyrion started, but Jon stopped him.

“I’m not finished yet,” He snapped, and Tyrion stopped talking. Jon tried to get Dany to look him in the eye.

“Dany,” He said, putting his hand under her chin to draw her eyes to him, “I choose you. I chose you from day one. You will always be the one for me, and the only way I’m going anywhere, is if you cannot choose me. So if you want me, choose me,” Jon said firmly, though his heart was pounding, “Because that’s the only way we are going to survive this.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated for nearly a week on whether this chapter should be from Jon or Dany's POV, and finally settled on Jon's, I hope it was not disappointing.


	33. Armor (Dany)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dany's thoughts after couple's therapy

The ride home from therapy was silent. Dany stole glances at Jon, who was intently focused on the road. His face was so open and honest, filled with an acceptance that she had craved for her entire life. He noticed her staring and gave her that endearing half smile of his, before returning his attention to the road. Jon reached over and tentatively laced his fingers with hers.

“I need to go home and tend to Ghost,” He said, “You are welcome to come with me.”

Dany nodded.

“But I do understand if you need to go home, and rest, and think through things,” Jon finished, giving her hand a squeeze. She smiled at his understanding.

“I think I should go home tonight,” Dany said, and hoped he would not be too disappointed.

“I will take you home then,” He said, and squeezed her hand again reassuringly.

When Jon parked the car in front of Dany’s apartment, he turned in his seat to face her.

“I will see tomorrow night at the Starks then, for dinner?” Jon asked. Dany smiled. The whole Stark family was gathering for dinner tomorrow night at Ned and Cat’s before the younger Starks left on their vacation next week. Dany was very much looking forward to being with all of them in the same space.

“Yes, I will be there,” She said softly. Suddenly, before she realized what he was doing, Jon cupped the back of her head in his strong hand and drew her too him. He pressed his mouth against hers, gentle and slow and firm. So sweet and soft, that Dany felt tears spring to her eyes. It was a kiss full of promises.

“Goodnight, love,” Jon whispered in a husky voice, as his thumb stroked her cheek.

“Goodnight, Jon,” Dany stroked his bearded cheek for a moment, and then left the car. That night, she lay awake, thinking about dark grey eyes, tender kisses, and terrifying promises.

 

“Dany?” came Sansa’s soft voice from the other side of the door the next morning, “Dany? Are you alright? Jon called me and asked me to check on you, he said you were not answering your phone?”

Dany looked down at the three missed calls from Jon, “I’m fine, Sans.” Sansa said nothing in response, but Dany could tell she was still standing at the door, “You can come in if you want.”

Sansa opened the door and came and laid down on the bed next to Dany.

“You and Jon aren’t fighting, are you?” Sansa asked, ever concerned.

“No,” Dany said, softly, “Not exactly, we just had some hard conversations in therapy yesterday that need to air out, if that makes sense?”

Sansa nodded.

“I’m sorry, I should have just answered the phone,” Dany said.

“It’s alright.”

Sansa and Dany both lay there staring up at the ceiling.

“I will call him,” Dany said softly. She glanced over at Sansa and had to smile. Sansa was the reason she knew Jon. Knowing Sansa had forever changed her life for the better.

“Thank you,” Dany said, giving Sansa’s hand a squeeze. Sansa chuckled.

“What for?”

“For staying friends with me, even though I’m difficult sometimes,” Dany said, “My life is better because of you, I don’t know where I would be now if I never knew you.”

Sansa looked at her then, “Probably still with that hoodlum, Daario,” she teased, and Dany had to laugh.

“It’s so strange thinking about Daario,” Dany giggled, “In my mind it does not feel like it was all that long ago when he and I were arguing about me coming up here for Christmas, and yet it also feels like its been a lifetime, and I don’t know how it can be both.”

“You don’t regret not being with him, do you?” Sansa asked, and Dany nearly laughed aloud at the profound look of concern on Sansa’s face.

“When I woke up in that hospital bed without the memories of the last four years, one of the most relieving discoveries I made was that Daario was no longer a part of my life,” Dany did laugh then, and gave Sansa a teasing, conspiratorial look, “And besides, Jon is much prettier than Daario anyway.”

Sansa laughed, feigning indignation, “Oh gods, please stop telling me things like that, Jon is practically my brother.”

“I’ve never met anyone like Jon,” Dany said, thoughtfully. Her somber mood starting to return. Sansa was silent for a moment before turning to Dany again.

“Have you told him that?”

“No,” Dany whispered.

“Don’t you think you should?” Sansa asked, “Even if you are not ready to say the big, four-letter L word yet, you could tell him that. I think he’d like to know.”

Dany knew Sansa was right.

“All that time I was with Daario,” Dany started, “I felt like I was wearing armor, thick armor so that nothing Daario did or said could ever hurt me, I felt nothing for him, it’s strange to acknowledge that now, but I took so much shit from him and for absolutely nothing.”

Sansa gave her hand a squeeze.

“For all my life,” Dany continued, “I feel like I’ve just been looking for anything or anyone that could be a home or a family, I was so lonely before I met Daario, I didn’t know you and I had only just met Missy, and so instead of getting rid of him, I just learned to live in my armor.”

Sansa nodded, urging her to continue.

“I… I think I could take off my armor…for Jon,” She whispered, the very admission was intimidating, “But that’s a very vulnerable feeling… and…and I’m scared,” Dany confessed and looked over at Sansa to see her reaction. Sansa gave her a gentle reassuring smile.

“I think Jon would like to know that too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is so so short, but I really wanted this scene to stand alone, I hope it is not disappointing.   
> Thanks so much for reading! 
> 
> Next Chapter: Dinner at the Starks


	34. Swings (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is another sort of mini-chapter, but it can kind of be thought of as a continuation of the last chapter. 
> 
> As always thanks so much for reading! everyone's enthusiasm makes this so much fun to write! I appreciate it!

The Stark Manor was alight with Christmas lights when Dany and Sansa parked their car. Rickon came running out to greet them.

“Dany, Sansa!” He shouted, obviously elated by all of his siblings converging, “Bran came home! Bran came home with a girl!”

Dany and Sansa looked at each other and grinned. Dany had met, or rather re-met Bran, a week after her accident on the night of Ned’s birthday party, before she had a meltdown and Jon had to take her home. Bran had been a notorious tree climber as a child, and after a particularly tragic fall had been paralyzed from the waist down. It had taken Catelyn some time before she had agreed for him to go so far north for college, even though Bran was stubbornly independent Catelyn had only agreed once it had been determined that Bran would live in the garage apartment of Ned’s brother, Benjen, so that he would not be entirely without family. Dany was happy to get a chance to talk to him again, as he was brilliantly intelligent, even if a bit odd. Sansa, the notorious matchmaker, seemed inordinately pleased that a girl had come home with him.

“Bran is always so secretive,” Sansa said to Dany, “This girl must be the reason, he kept refusing to come on vacation with us.”

It had crossed Dany’s mind briefly, wondering why Bran had no interest in spending their sibling vacation with them, but had brushed it off, thinking perhaps someone in college who was as driven and intelligent as Bran had better things to do then hangout with his siblings for a week in a cabin, more likely to be snowed in than doing anything particularly noteworthy. Dany chuckled; she liked the idea of the reason for Bran staying home being a girl.

            Bran, Uncle Benjen, and a pretty, young girl about Bran’s age, with dark curly hair and dark eyes, sat in the living room with Ned and Cat. Rickon was beside himself with joy. Gendry and Arya were setting the table. Robb and Marge had not yet arrived, which was odd. For all of Marge’s flair for the dramatic, she was always very timely, though such a compliment could not be paid to Robb who always showed up just when he pleased and not a moment sooner. Jon had not arrived yet, either, but Dany knew he would be late as he told her earlier on their brief phone conversation that he was coming from work.

“Dinner is nearly ready girls,” Cat said to them as she gave them each a hug, “But we are going to give Robb, Marge and Jon another 30 minutes before we just have to eat without them.” Catelyn then introduced them to Bran’s lady friend, Meera. She seemed a bit standoffish at first, but she had warm, kind eyes that Dany thought perhaps indicated that she was sweet once you got know her. Both she and Bran insisted they were only friends, and Sansa gave Dany a conspiratorial grin, which Dany tried to ignore.

“Do the two of you need help?” Dany asked Arya and Gendry as she went into the kitchen. Dany felt suddenly embarrassed, as she was not entirely sure how to navigate the ins and outs of family dinner with a healthy family. The Starks had something together that she had never before experienced. When Dany had been a child, especially after Rhaegar died, most nights she had eaten alone, or with a nanny when she was still young enough for one. Viserys, when he was not being cruel to her, generally left her to own devices. It had been a lonely childhood, leaving her completely unprepared for navigating healthy relationships.

As Sansa had engaged herself in interrogating poor Meera and Bran, and Arya and Gendry did not need help, Dany found herself tugged by some invisible string onto the back porch. The Stark Manor had a beautiful back yard, Dany could see Catelyn’s glass garden on the other end, an old, well-used playset and tree house, and enough trees to provide plenty of shade on warm summer afternoons. Tonight, though was cold, and Dany thought it might snow with the way the air smelled. She sat down on the porch swing, touching its wood thoughtfully, it was familiar somehow, she had thought so when she had seen it at Missandei’s shower at Saturday too. From her place on the porch swing, she watched through the window at all the happy Starks fluttering in and out of the kitchen and dining room, whose windows opened to the back porch. Dany wondered what it had been like to grow up in such a home, with parents and siblings who loved each other. She wanted this, she realized, and she wanted it with Jon. Dany did not know yet if she could call what she felt for Jon love, as she truly had no idea what being in love felt like, but she imagined whatever it felt like she at least had the beginnings of it. There was a sweet, sharp ache inside her as she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to have a back-porch swing of her own someday where she could watch two or three kids who looked like Jon Snow play in the yard.

“They tend to be a more likeable bunch when you are inside with them,” Jon’s voice coming up the back-porch steps from the yard, startled her out of her imaginings. She turned and he grinned at her, “May I join you?” He asked, and Dany scooted over a bit so he could sit on the swing as well. Dany leaned back against him and he draped his arm around her shoulder, so she could lean her head against his shoulder.

“Why were you out there in the dark?” Dany asked, giving a soft giggle.

“Sorry,” He chuckled, “Rickon greeted me out in the drive, and informed on your location, I’m afraid he’s always quite eager to share information, so I wouldn’t share any secrets with him if I were you.”

Dany and Jon laughed together.

“I figured I would come find you before going inside,” Jon kissed the top of her hair, and Dany relaxed even more into him. She wrapped her arm around his waist, “I take it that means my presence is welcome here on the swing?”

Dany nodded.

“Hasn’t Tyrion been getting on to you about nodding?” Jon teased, and Dany nodded again but could not suppress a giggle. They went silent for a few moments; both being soothed by the sway of the swing.

“Aren’t you cold out here?” Jon asked.

“Not anymore,” Dany responded. Jon chuckled and rubbed her arm to help keep her warm.

“What are you out here thinking about?” He asked.

“About how much I like your family,” Dany said, “And how much I would like a porch swing of my own.”

“We can get a house with a porch swing,” Jon said, but then Dany felt his body stiffen as he realized the implications of his words, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean…I mean…” he stumbled over his explanation, and Dany laced her fingers through his.

“It’s alright, Jon, you don’t have to apologize,” Dany said, brushing a light kiss to the back of his hand that she was holding. Did she tell him she had just been imagining a life with him herself? Dany thought of what Sansa said this morning. She needed to tell him. She did not have to say _love_ yet, but she should tell him how she felt.

Dany sat up straight, pulling her legs up onto the swing and hugging them, while she turned to face Jon, mustering her courage.

“Jon?”

“Yes?” He looked at her with those intense grey eyes of his, that she thought might be able to undo her with a single look.

“I’ve never met anyone like you,” She said so swiftly, she was afraid he might not have heard. His eyes softened, and his face split into a teasing grin.

“Is that a good thing?”

Dany felt herself blush, “A very good thing. You are changing my life, Jon Snow.” They stared at each other for a few beats. Slowly, Dany leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed her lips to his. The kiss was slow and languid, and Dany felt more of her armor slipping away. He coaxed her mouth open just a little, and she moaned against him. Jon shifted on the porch swing, bringing his arms around her to cradle her across his lap. The kiss lingered and deepened. Just as Dany felt the world falling away from her, leaving nothing but his mouth and his arms, the porch swing jolted from their unbalanced position and Dany nearly tumbled from his lap to the ground. Jon grabbed her before she could fall, but the moment was broken as they both erupted into laughter. Dany still had her arms clinging around his neck, her heart racing from the adrenaline of her near tumble.

Jon laughed, “I’ve got you, love.”

Dany giggled, and released her tight grip. She moved to sit next to him. Jon reached out and touched her cheek.

“You’re a cruel woman,” He said huskily, but with a teasing glint in his eye. Dany feigned indignation.

“And what exactly, Jon Snow, makes you say that?”

His eyes met hers, “Kissing me like that, when my family is right inside, and I can’t do anything about it.”

“And just what would you do about it?” Dany shot back saucily, but the untamed look in his eyes sent a shiver down her spine, as he leaned close to her ear.

“Something you would never forget,” He stood up then, his feral, dark eyes replaced with his sweet, grey ones. Jon offered her his hand, as if he had merely made mention of the weather, and pulled her up off the swing, “Shall we join the family?” Dany’s knees felt wobbly as she allowed Jon to lead her into the house, and just as they sat down to dinner, Robb and Marge burst through the door, and on Marge’s finger was a diamond, and the pair shouted in unison,

“We’re engaged!”


	35. Proposals (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not as pleased with this chapter as some of my past chapters, but it has some important information in it, that needed to be handled before they went on their trip. I am super excited for their trip! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!

Jon and Dany gaped at Robb and Marge, then turned to each other. When her gaze met his, her cheeks had turned pink and her eyes were full of concern…concern for him. Luckily, none of the other Starks noticed their somber faces before they were able to put on smiles and congratulate the happy couple. Jon chanced a glance at Aunt Cat, trying to give her a sympathetic smile, but it seemed her heart had turned to stone for a moment. Jon hoped she would not be too hard on them. He did notice that Marge was wearing the ring that Catelyn had promised to give Robb, so perhaps there had been some steps toward acceptance on her part.

            Under the table Jon reached over and gave Dany’s hand a reassuring squeeze, which she returned. After his outburst at therapy yesterday, and Dany’s words and subsequent kiss on the porch, Jon felt like they were finally moving forward rather than looking backward. All they needed was time. He knew there would still be hard days, as he learned to live with and grieve her lost memories, but they were moving in the right direction. As disappointing as it had been to have their kiss interrupted, Jon was glad they had not been in a place to take it further. For all her beautiful words on the swing, _love_ was not one of them, even if he could see it in her eyes. It was important to him that she verbalize that word before they took that step in their relationship. His own heart, being rather fragile at the moment, needed to know that her heart was in it. He did not want to over complicate their already complicated situation by throwing one-sided love making into the mix. Even though his self-controll was a little worse for wear right now, he wanted to do this right. He needed to know that she loved him too, and he could wait for that.

“Well are you going to tell us the story then?” Sansa demanded. Robb and Marge laughed.

“Can we please first get the food going, and then you can tell us while we eat,” Arya countered, a look of mock annoyance on her face. The Starks settled around the table and tore into the delicious meal that Catelyn and Ned had prepared. Once everyone had their plates, Sansa demanded the story from Robb and Marge once again. Jon saw Dany’s mouth twitch in a smile. He knew that she loved these sorts of things, things that showed not all families were like her family growing up, some families were good and wholesome. He loved being able to share the Starks with her. Moreover, he wanted his own family with her, which was a rather potent ache he did not often talk about. When they had been trying to get pregnant before the accident, Jon often tried to downplay his desire for children, worried that his own grief over their inability to have a baby would only hurt her even more. Jon was realizing that he was very good at shoving aside his own needs and feelings when he did not want to deal with them and knew that now moving forward with Dany, he wanted to be more honest, more open with her than he had been in the past.

“Well, it all started this morning,” Marge began to tell the engagement story, while Sansa listened with rapt attention, and Arya periodically rolled her eyes. Apparently, Robb’s proposal had been an all-day event, which included a scavenger hunt, an apartment full of roses and the ring tied to the collar of a kitten. Jon chuckled to himself, the story was full of flare and the dramatic and suited Robb and Marge quite well.

Jon looked over at Dany fondly, his proposal to her had been far simpler, more practical, and more _Jon_ than anything else, and she had loved it. It had been a balmy spring evening as the sun was setting, he had taken her to Winterfell pier where they had had their first date, bent the knee, and promised her _“this night and all my nights to come.”_ Simple and sincere. Jon had wanted to tell her about it last week when they had been at the pier together, but the moment never came, and he had not wanted to ruin the precarious sweetness that had settled between them that night by bringing up things that she could not remember.

After dinner, Arya, Gendry, Sansa, Jon and Dany cleaned the kitchen and put away leftovers.

“Now Marge and Robb’s rampant public displays of affection will be insufferable on our trip,” Arya joked as she handed plates to Gendry to put into the dishwasher.

“Don’t tell me that you and Gendry here plan to tone down your own rampant displays of affection?” Sansa teased, poking Arya in the ribs, while Gendry blushed. Jon exchanged glances with Dany but said nothing.

“And what about these two?” Arya pointed at him and Dany, “I saw the two of you necking on the porch, don’t even try to deny it.”

Jon and Dany both blushed. Jon felt like a deer caught in headlights.

“Is this what our sibling trip has come down too?” Arya laughed.

“Don’t blame me I’m leaving Pod behind,” Sansa said, then seemed to realize what she had just admitted, “I mean… uh….”

They all laughed. Sansa had not yet told anyone, but Dany, apparently that she and Pod were official, and now was blushing and stammering like a teenager trying to deny it.

“I knew it!” Arya gasped, faking surprise at Sansa’s revelation.

“Well, don’t tell mom and dad, and don’t tell Robb!” Sansa exclaimed. Arya got a mischievous look in her eye, and made a dash toward the living room, and Sansa made chase yelling at her to stop. Jon, Gendry, and Dany just stared at their wake.

“Just so you know…” Gendry said to Jon, looking highly uncomfortable, “I don’t intend…. I mean… Arya and I are not into rampant displays of affections… gods, what I mean is…”

Jon laughed and clapped Gendry on the shoulder, then in as serious a voice as he could muster, said, “Don’t worry, Gendry, Robb and I will make sure of that…”

Gendry blanched, but said nothing in reply, and Dany tossed Jon a reproachful look. Gendry was saved, however, by Arya summoning him.

            Jon walked over to Dany to help her finish clearing the kitchen table.

“You and Robb should be ashamed,” Dany smiled up at him.

“Why? For looking out for our sisters?” Jon laughed.

“Pod and Gendry are both nice boys, and demonstrate that Sansa and Arya have good taste,” Dany stated. Jon put his hands on her waist, wanting to feel her close again, and looked down at her.

“Oh, we’re just having a bit of fun with them,” Jon laughed, and kissed her nose.

“fun is it?” Dany scolded. Jon nodded and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

“Oh, good lord,” Arya, who had returned just in time to see Jon kiss Dany, sighed in exasperation and left them to finish cleaning alone.

           

            The weekend was a flurry of activity for Jon, Dany and the older three Starks as they prepared to leave. Jon, Dany, Sansa, Robb and Marge departed sooner than Gendry and Arya to head to the coast for their overnight boat trip up to Eastwatch. Jon was not entirely sure he liked boats, and a leisurely cruise up the coast was far less exciting to Jon than road trips, train rides, and just about any other form of transportation. Loading the boat took a long time, finding their cabins took a long time, and departing took a long time, and Jon found that he had spent most of their first day waiting for something to happen on this wretched boat. His cabin was next to Robb and Marge’s, and across from Dany and Sansa’s. When they had booked their cabins, Jon had almost suggested that Dany share his, but Sansa had been sitting there, and he had not wanted to broach that subject when his cousin was staring at them. Dany would be sharing a room with Sansa at the cabin as well. Jon patted Ghost on the head as he laid back on his bunk on the ship.

“We’ll be alright, won’t we, boy?”

Ghost looked at him, not seeming overly pleased with the boat either. Jon chuckled, then groaned as he felt a queasy feeling in his stomach as the ship lurch forward. Ghost hopped up on the bunk with him and laid across his legs. Jon tangled his hand in his fur, as he studied the ceiling.

He had not realized how long he had been laying there until he heard tittering voices outside his door.

“Do you think he is seasick?” came one voice that sounded like Sansa.

“He’s probably sleeping, he works too hard,” said Marge.

“We should let him rest,” protested Dany, and Jon had to smile. Jon bolted upright, though, when a loud banging crashed against his door, and then laughed…and there was Robb.

“Snow?” Robb laughed, nearly shouting, “Are you going to get up and join us? Or do I need to come in there and drag you out?”

Ghost looked at Jon expectantly. Jon petted him.

“I guess this is the first day of vacation then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Vacation begins


	36. Snow (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's lovely comments have really motivated me to get these next few chapters out! Thank you so much for reading!

The first night on the ship was a bit rougher than Dany had imagined it would be, there had been some fierce winter gales that had knocked them around a bit. Their boat, however, was too big for the gales to cause any sort of real threat. After all the hassle of boarding and getting settled in their cabins, the five of them had eaten dinner and went promptly to bed, exhausted from traveling. Today though felt fresh and new. Dany followed Sansa toward the dining room, glancing briefly at Jon’s door, wandering if she should wait for him before going to breakfast, but Sansa was tugging at her and so she followed. Robb and Marge had a table for them and a pot of coffee already waiting in the dining room.

“Where’s Jon?” Dany asked, as she sat.

“I’m here,” Jon came up from behind her and gave her shoulder a pat, and when she turned around, she had to stifle a giggle. He looked a bit green. Ships apparently did not agree with Jon Snow.

“Are you alright?” Sansa sniggered. Jon nodded and took the seat Dany offered him beside her.

“I think it was just all the rocking back and forth from the winds last night,” Jon explained, “I don’t think I’ve been on a boat since my military days.” Dany smiled at him and patted his hand reassuringly. He never really talked about his military days, and Dany wondered at that. Had he liked it? He seemed so passionate and content with his job as a social worker, that Dany forgot sometimes that he had been in the military once, however, brief that tenure had been.

            They ordered breakfast, and Jon seemed to only pick at his food, though the color was slowly returning to his cheeks, which Dany was glad for, she did not want him spending the whole day and remaining night on the boat seasick.

“So, as you both know,” Marge began with a smile, talking mostly to Sansa and Dany, “I do not have any sisters, and so I would really love it if the two of you, and Arya as well, would be my bridesmaids.”

Sansa squealed in delight, and Dany agreed wholeheartedly. She had never been a bridesmaid before, not that she could remember anyway. Missandei and Sansa had told her that she had been the maid-of-honor at Missandei’s wedding, but unfortunately that was a memory Dany no longer had, and that made her sad. Missandei had been her best friend for years, even longer than Sansa, and having lost such an important moment with her, devastated Dany. Her lost memories affected more than just her and Jon, and Dany was suddenly struck with how much love and patience she had been shown by the people in her life. In her youth, there had been no one who had cared for her even half as much as the people who were sitting at this table with her.

“Jon, of course, is going to be my best man, and Bran will be a groomsman as well if I can get him to agree,” Robb laughed. Bran could be contrary sometimes. Dany wondered if planning her own wedding had involved conversations like this around a breakfast table, with more love than she could have ever dreamed of in her entire life. She smiled at the thought and looked at Jon. Perhaps, one day, they could have moments like these again.

            Dany had not expected the day on the boat to move so slow. She and Sansa and Marge had spent a little bit of time discussing wedding things, as brand-new fiancées are prone to do. Dany had to chuckle at the fact that she had even brought a few bridal magazines with her. Margaery was not one to blush and so it was very entertaining to watch her blush and coo over the idea of being married to Robb in a matter of months, as she insisted that they would have a short engagement. After lunch at some point, Robb and Marge had retired to their cabin to “nap” in the words of Robb, though no one sitting there was naïve enough to assume that a nap would be taking place. Sansa had brought a book, which she said she had been wanting to read for months, but school work had always prevented her and so she disappeared somewhere on the deck of the ship.

“I’m taking Ghost up on deck to walk, they have a grassy area for dogs to do their business up top as long as you clean up after them,” Jon laughed, and offered her his hand, “Do you want to come?”

Dany readily accepted, “Yes.”

He smiled, and she felt her stomach do a little flip.

            They started a lap around the ship’s top deck, just holding hands, silent, and enjoying each other’s presence. Ghost walked a few steps ahead of them, curiously smelling and occasionally peering distrustfully over the railing to the water below.

“Jon?” Dany started.

“Yes?”

“Did you like the military?” She asked and he seemed surprised at her question.

“I liked it well enough,” Jon said raking a hand through his hair, “I felt very purposeful in the military, which was something I missed that first year or two I was out. I had planned to make it my career.”

“Why did you leave?”

Jon grimaced, “I got hurt, and got an honorable discharge.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Dany said, squeezing his hand a little tighter, “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s alright, it used to be hard to talk about but it’s not as much anymore.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Sometimes…like I said, there was always a sense of purpose, and a sense of comradeship that I miss, and when I got hurt it was a hard dream to let go of,” Jon glanced at her and smiled, “But, ultimately, I’m glad.”

“Glad?”

“If I hadn’t left the military, I would never have become a social worker, and I would not trade my job now for anything,” Jon explained, “If I hadn’t left, I wouldn’t know Sam, or Davos, and for that matter, I may never have met you.”

Dany smiled.

“It’s strange how certain moments change our lives forever.”

“Yes,” Dany agreed, feeling the weight of his words in her soul. Her accident had changed her life forever. Knowing the Starks had changed her life forever. Loving Jon had changed her life forever. Love…such a terribly small and tricky word. Part of her wanted to say it, and part of her wanted to hold back. Self-preservation had always been a powerful motivator in her youth, but she was not that broken little girl anymore. She was strong, and Jon only made her stronger.

“Jon?” Dany started.

“Hmmm?”

“I just want you to know,” Dany took a breath.

“Yes?”

“I choose you too, and I don’t need four years’ worth of memories to know that what we have right now is good and right,” She confessed and stopped walking, turning to face him, “Sometimes, I still feel like I have to walk around in armor, to protect myself, and I still feel a little nervous saying this…but….” Dany tried to maintain eye contact with him, “But I...I think I can take that armor off with you.”

Jon leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss.

“We’ll take our armor off together,” He whispered against her mouth. _Together_ , the word had become theirs. Dany nodded, and kissed him again.

 

            After dinner the five of them played cards for several hours, they all intended to be good enough to beat Arya at least once each in the coming days. Jon had been nothing but sweet and attentive to her all evening. So, when they all decided to call it a night, Dany had half-expected for him to invite her to his room. He had not. Trying to fight disappointment, Dany followed Sansa back to their own room, and the two girls collapsed on their bunks.

“You and Jon seemed to be even more chummy than usual when you came back from that walk,” Sansa giggled, “Did the two of you go _‘take a nap’_ as well?” Sansa laughed, mimicking Robb’s earlier statement. Dany found herself blushing but shook her head.

“No.”

“Just so you know,” Sansa said, “It won’t hurt my feelings, if you decide that you want to share a room with him instead of me,” She smiled.

“Well, I…” Dany was not sure what to say, “I don’t want to push him.”

Sansa rolled her eyes and laughed but did not say anything further. Dany got ready for bed and tucked herself under the blankets and stared up at the ceiling.

“I had the dream again last night,” She whispered.

“Which one?” Sansa asked.

“About the pier.”

“Do you remember anything more from the dream?” Sansa asked, her voice skeptical. Dany knew that Sansa, Missandei and Tyrion all doubted that she was actually remembering the pier from an actual memory. In the dream it had been warm, and she and Jon had been together. None of the other details were very clear. In past dreams, she did not remember Jon being there but in the one she had last night he had been. When she had mentioned the dreams to Jon last week, he had not said one way or the other if he believed it was a real memory.

“I know you are skeptical,” Dany said, “But I feel like I remember it… our first date I mean, I know there is no way to know for sure, and maybe I just want it to be true, but it feels real.”

“Maybe it is, my friend, maybe it is,” Sansa said sleepily, and rolled over, indicating that she was done for the night. Dany lay awake for several hours, wondering if she should get up and march herself to Jon’s room. She drifted off to sleep, somewhat cross with him.

 

            The cabin was elegant and beautiful and everything that could be expected from a vacation home owned by the Tyrells. Marge had given them the grand tour when they arrived yesterday, and they had spent most of the first day settling in before going to dinner and exploring the little resort village nestled at the foot of the mountain chain known as The Wall, where skiing was the most popular pass time. Today they were driving up to Castle Black Ski Resort to ski.

Dany waited for everyone on the steps of the cabin, bundled in a parka, marveling at the snow. She had not seen so much snow in her entire life. It had turned the North into a wintery-fairyland, and it seemed to sparkle anytime the sun peeked out from behind the clouds. Dany was entranced.

“Enjoying yourself?” Jon asked with an amused chuckle as he came out of the house. Dany touched the snow that was piled on the railing of the stairs.

“I’ve never seen so much,” Dany said. Jon gave her a sweet, sad smile that indicated that perhaps she had. Dany, though, did not want to dwell on all of the things she had forgotten right now, and so did not ask. Jon came to stand in front of her then, and playfully pulled her scarf up to cover her mouth and pulled her hat down to cover her ears.

“Wouldn’t want you losing any important bits to frost bite,” He teased. Dany laughed, and rolled her eyes.

“I’m afraid you should be more worried about me attempting to ski, more than any other dangers we might face up here,” She giggled.

“Don’t worry, I can’t say that I am a particularly good skier either,” Jon confessed, and looked toward the door, “But don’t tell Robb that.”

            Arya and Gendry having driven up to meet them had brought Arya’s SUV, into which they all now piled in order to make their way to the resort. Dany found herself between Jon and Sansa in the back row of seats. She laced her fingers with his, and he smiled at her.

“The Resort has a restaurant and bar that we can eat at, or hang out in if we get too cold, and they also have an ice-skating rink if anyone is interested in that,” Marge said. Apparently, Marge’s family, came to ski up here once a year throughout her childhood. Marge was excited to share this with Dany, Sansa and Arya, as it was a novelty to her to have sisters. Dany was not sure if she, herself, should be considered one of those sisters. She and Jon were not engaged anymore. Suddenly, Dany felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and guilt at the thought. She and Jon would have been married by now if it had not been for her stupid accident. Dany was mad at herself all of a sudden for leaving the apartment that night instead of facing their argument, even though she could not remember it. Dany looked at Jon, they could have been married by now if she had not been so afraid, and so stubborn. Noticing her staring, he kissed the back of her hand, but said nothing as Robb and Marge prattled on about the amenities of the Resort and surrounding communities.

            After Drogo, Dany had sworn she would never marry or live with a man again, but Jon had seemed to have turned her world upside down all those years ago, and he still was. She loved him for it. Was it the kind of love that she was ready to confess to him? She was not sure, but she felt her heart opening to him more and more with each passing day. She wanted to love him, and as Tyrion had said, that was the first step toward loving. Dany squeezed his hand again and their eyes met. One of his pretty curls was peeking out from beneath his hat, and she desperately wanted to touch it, to caress his bearded face, and climb into his lap and kiss him. All of that would have to wait though, they were in a car full of people after all, on their way toward a day full of physical activities.

           

Jon and Sansa had stayed with her on the training slopes for a while helping her get the hang of skiing. She had never been before. Eventually, though, Sansa went to find the others, while Jon stayed trying to help Dany learn. They laughed through tumbles, and scrapes, and did manage to make it down the bunny slopes a couple of times. While their skiing skills certainly needed improvement, Dany had not laughed so much in quite a long time. After nearly colliding with another skier, a stranger, Dany, in a laughing heap at the bottom of the slope was ready for a break and maybe a warm beverage. Jon pulled her to her feet.

“Well, Robb and Marge were certainly raving about the café, so I’m sure they have coffee there,” Jon said playfully, as he helped her out of her skis and the two of them made their way back to the resort. The resort café was beautiful and homey, and blessedly warm.

“Why don’t you grab us a table,” Jon said, directing her with a hand on her lower back, “I’m going to run to the restrooms.”

“Alright,” Dany said, and stood waiting for the hostess while Jon scurried off. She was alone with her thoughts for only a few moments before she was unexpectedly interrupted.

“Daenerys Targaryen?”

Dany froze at the all too familiar voice.

“I thought that was you I saw arriving this morning, that pretty blonde head of yours is hard to miss.”

Dany turned and faced the leering gaze of Daario Naharis.

“What are you doing here?” Dany demanded. Daario chuckled.

“I should think it was rather obvious,” He motioned down to the ski gear he was wearing. Dany rolled her eyes and began to turn away.

“What? Aren’t you happy to see me?” He asked with a fake pout, “Gods, its been what three, maybe four years?”

Dany did not deign a reply. Daario chuckled.

“Still as cold as ever, huh?” He snipped, and Dany seethed, “So are you and Snow still together? Or did you scare him off too?”

Still, Dany did not reply trying to hold her temper. Daario was not worth it. He continued to goad her, however, attempting to elicit a response.

“Always the ice queen, weren’t you baby? Good thing Jon Snow is from the North,” Daario laughed, “But if you prefer, I could warm you up.”

Dany, infuriated, but not wanting to cause a scene, spun on her heel to leave but as she did, she felt Daario's hand grab her butt. Red hot fury shot through her and she whipped around ready to slap him and give him a piece of her mind, but just as she did a fist was suddenly laid across Daario's face sending him reeling to the ground. Dany turned and saw Jon standing there with a look of pure, barely controlled rage on his face. Daario stood, chuckling, but rubbing his rapidly bruising jaw.

"Damn, Snow, I think age is softening you, that wasn't quite as hard as the first time."

_The first time?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know a lot of people were hoping for a certain boat scene in this chapter, so I hope this was not too disappointing, but I promise their vacation is not over, and I swear I'm building toward something and not just teasing just to tease. Please hang in there with me! 
> 
> Next Chapter: Vacation continues... Jon POV


	37. Ice (Jon)

Jon and Daario had been rather unceremoniously escorted out of the café by security. Daario skulked away, with the security guards’ eyes on him, and Jon took Dany’s hand and they headed toward the car. Both he and Daario were now ban from the resort, but Jon really felt no remorse. They reached the car. The others were not back yet, and so they sat on the hood of Arya’s SUV to wait for them. Jon flexed his hand that he had hit Daario with, then looked back at Dany. She had not said much, but she was clinging to his other hand.

“Are you alright?” Jon asked.

“Yes, just a little rattled,” She said softly, and smiled at him.

“I know, before the accident, you used to like to tell me that you can take care of yourself, and don’t always need me stepping into your battles,” Jon started, “So, I am sorry if I upset you… but I really have no regrets about hitting him,” he said honestly and looked over at her. She suddenly started to laugh, which surprised him.

“Gods, did I really used to tell you that?” She asked. Jon nodded, amused and perplexed by her reaction, “Well, can I just say that no matter what happens for the rest of this trip, I think my highlight will always be the expression on Daario’s face when he hit the ground.”

They laughed together then. She held his hand tighter and scooted closer.

“You are a good man, Jon Snow.”

Jon leaned over then and kissed her soundly.

“I do have a question, though,” Dany pulled back and looked him in the eye.

“Okay.”

“He mentioned there being a first time?” she asked, “Have you hit him before?”

Jon nodded, suddenly feeling self-conscious, “You caught that, did ya?”

“Yes,” she chuckled, “Did you plan on hiding it from me?”

“No,” He smiled at her, and brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face.

“I sense a story here.”

Jon chuckled, as she inquisitively crossed her legs in front of her and peered at him, waiting for him to proceed.

“Well, the first time I hit him, you were not particularly happy about it,” Jon confessed.

“And why wasn’t I?”

“Because you were still dating him.”

She looked surprised, but she was still smiling at him, “Now, you told me you did not steal me from Daario, so out with it now. What happened?”

Jon sighed, “About two months after we met, you and Sansa had obviously returned to school in King’s Landing, and the weekend of Sansa’s birthday, Robb and I decided to come spend the weekend with the two of you.”

Dany urged him on.

“We had gotten in late on Friday night, and on Saturday morning, Robb and Sansa had gotten up to go to the store but I stayed behind at your apartment,” Jon explained, “I’m not sure where Missy was that weekend, but you came home Saturday morning with Daario in tow, and you did not know I was there.”

They were sitting face to face now, as Jon told his story.

“The two of you were fighting.”

“Sounds about right.”

“He had accused of something,” Jon did not want to say what it was, but he expected she already knew what it was, “You both were viciously angry, and I was feeling uncomfortable because I could hear everything so I came into the living room to make my presence known hoping that would cool some of the tension, but I came in just in time to see him push you.”

“He pushed me?”

“Yes,” Jon confirmed, “And then I hit him.”

Dany gave him the softest smile and leaned over and kissed him. Jon smiled against her mouth.

“Then you got quite mad at me,” He explained, unable to suppress a laugh.

“Whatever for?” She teased, though he could see that she likely knew the reason as well, for all her lost memories, she did know herself.

“That winter at the Starks you and I had had a fight about Daario, and so you accused me of meddling in something that I knew nothing about, and then you made me sit outside the apartment until Sansa got back.”

Dany winced, “I’m sorry.”

Jon laughed, “You don’t need to apologize, it’s been nearly four years ago now.”

She caressed his cheek, and with a smile, said, “I’m sorry, just the same. I know my temper often gets the better of me.”

Jon pulled her into his arms, “I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

Dany giggled, before they both realized their family was approaching the car.

“So we heard a little gossip at the café that some northerner knocked the lights out of some southerner over a blonde,” Robb said casually, but was grinning, “And now here the two of you are sitting out in the cold when you could have been inside.”

 

            Once Robb and Arya heard the full story of what happened with Daario at the café, they both were ready to go hunt Daario down themselves and beat him to a pulp. Their time together that night as a family, however, was sweet. Arya and Gendry had cooked supper, after which they played charades: Arya’s favorite game. After a day full of skiing and hiking, and a flurry of activity none of them were particularly keen to stay up too late. Jon and Ghost retired to the loft of the cabin. Jon had not expected to love the loft as much as he had, he figured it would have just been a place to crash at the end of the day, but it had a huge window that overlooked the forest right outside the cabin, and from his bed he could see the expanse of the sky and study the constellations. It was peaceful and beautiful. Ghost curled up close to him and Jon snuggled the massive dog, like he was a puppy, as he drifted off to sleep.

            Startled out of his sleep by footsteps coming into the loft, Jon sat up and looked at his clock. 3 a.m.

“Jon?” Dany’s voice whispered, and Jon turned the light on to see her coming toward him, with tears streaming down her face.

“Dany? What’s wrong, love?” He asked in concern. He lifted the blankets up and invited her into the bed with him. She came immediately and clung to him, “Dany, what is it?”

“You said I deserved better than Daario,” She cried.

“Aye, you did… you do,” Jon wrapped his arms around her, confused.

“No, you don’t understand,” Dany whimpered, “I remember.”

“What?”

“On the porch swing,” Dany looked at him then, eyes full of tears, and she smiled, “All those years ago, you told me I deserved better than Daario.”

Jon was stunned into silence.

“You said a woman as smart and strong as me did not need a man to make my life complete,” Dany whispered, and more tears came. Jon, himself, had nearly forgotten he had said that, that night on the swing four years ago.

“Aye, it’s as true now as it was then,” Jon agreed, stroking her hair.

“I was such a fool back then,” Dany said, more tears falling from her eyes.

“No,” Jon insisted, “You were scared and alone and surviving the only way you knew how. Even if I had never come along, you would have figured it out eventually.”

“No one has ever believed in me or cared enough about me to stand up for me the way you have,” Dany said, and snuggled closer to his bare chest.

“Well, now you have Missy, and Grey, Arya, Robb, Sansa, Sam, Gilly, Ned and Cat, Bran and Rickon, Marge and Gendry,” Jon smoothed some hair out of her face, “You are not alone anymore, and your life doesn’t have to just be about surviving.”

Jon pulled the blankets up around them both, and kissed her forehead, feeling sleep starting to get the better of him.

“I’m sorry for what he did to you today,” Jon whispered, and Jon felt some more of her tears hit his chest, “I know my saying that doesn’t make it feel any better, but I am sorry.”

She nodded and held him tighter as they fell asleep.

 

            The rest of the group wanted to spend at least one more day skiing, and as Jon was now banned from the resort, he had to stay behind, which he did not mind and urged them all to go even though some of them, Arya particularly, felt bad for leaving him. He was not a keen skier anyway and decided that he and Ghost could go for a hike. As he was lacing up his boots, and Ghost sat eagerly watching him, Dany appeared.

“What are you still doing here?” Jon asked with a grin.

“I want to spend time with you.”

Jon chuckled, “You’ll never become a better skier if you don’t practice.”

“Skiing is overrated.”

“I agree,” Jon laughed, and took her hand.

The two of them set out on a trek into the woods surrounding the cabin. Ghost was bounding and leaping in the snow in front of them. Jon did not think he could be more content as he was at this moment, with Dany beside him, Ghost playing, and the solitude they had found in the woods.

“Wish we could stay out here forever,” Dany suddenly said. Jon smiled.

“I think I could live my life as a forest hermit,” he said, and Dany laughed, “But you, I don’t think you could be stuck out here.”

“Oh?” Dany asked, “And why is that?”

“You always have too much too do,” Jon smiled at her, “You’re always trying to change the world.” She blushed at his praise, in a way that made Jon’s heart stop.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” she said to him, looping her arm through his and leaning her head against it as they strolled, “What do you call what you do at work every day, if not changing the world?”

Jon shrugged, having never learned to be comfortable accepting unabashed compliments.

“Every child you protect, and care for, is another step toward changing the world,” Dany said and kissed his arm where her head had been.

“We’re like a sword and a shield,” Jon chuckled, recalling the words she had often said about their respective careers before her accident.

“I feel quite clever about saying that, even though I can’t remember it,” Dany laughed, and he had to laugh with her. They were silent for awhile as they headed back toward the cabin.

“I had a long conversation with Professor Varys my last day of work before break,” Dany suddenly said.

“What did you talk about?”

“He was helping me map my degree plan,” She explained, “I decided I want to specialize in Domestic Abuse and Sexual Assault Law.”

Jon nodded, urging her to continue.

“I am finally beginning to feel like I’m not just recovering from the accident, or from the abuses of my past, I know I still have a long way to go but I feel like I’m moving forward,” Dany said, “And I want to defend and help people who have suffered the kinds of traumas and abuses that I have suffered. Viserys, and Drogo, and Daario, I’ve decided not to let the scars they left on my life rule me, and I want to give a voice to other victims, who have been voiceless in the past.”

Jon felt a swell of overwhelming love and adoration well up inside him at her words, and he turned to her and drew her close.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” He said, with a smile. She giggled and nodded in agreement. Gently, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her slow and soft and steady. Her arms went around his neck as she responded in kind. When he drew back, he looked into her eyes, and saw the same love reflected there, and then she opened her mouth.

“I love you, Jon Snow,” She said it softly, almost a whisper, but there was no hesitation in her voice, only a sweet blush that crept over her cheeks, as she toyed with the hair at the back of his head. Jon felt his eyes fill with tears, and he tried to brush them away, surprised at his own feelings of vulnerability at her admission. Jon wrapped her in his arms, tears still coming unrelentingly down his cheeks as he held her.

“And I love you, Daenerys Targaryen.”

 

            The next afternoon Jon and Dany accompanied Robb and Marge into the little village to do a little shopping. Marge was cooking dinner for everyone tonight, and if Robb was to be believed, Marge was the best chef in the country, even better than Catelyn. Jon very much hoped that Robb had kept that particular compliment of his girlfriend to himself around his mother. Jon felt like ever since yesterday he had only been able to steal glances at Dany, last night when they had returned from their hike and the others had returned from skiing, they had piled into the living room of the cabin and watched a movie together. Most of them had fallen asleep there, Jon included, and slept all night. The last thing he wanted to be doing right now was shopping, and Dany sensed his agitation. She was not, however, sympathetic but seemed rather to find it amusing.

By the time they returned to the cabin, the sun was beginning to go down and Marge banished everyone but Robb from the kitchen so that she could concentrate. Typical, Jon laughed to himself, Marge and Robb were always ones for theatrics. Eventually, Jon meandered out onto the back porch of the cabin, and saw Dany standing down the hill staring in wonder at the snow falling from the sky. Even though Dany had not seen snow before moving to Winterfell, she had, of course, seen plenty of snow in the years she had forgotten. Jon, however, did not remember her being so awestruck with it the first time, and found it endearing that she was standing out here marveling at it. Jon could not stop himself from joining her even if he had wanted to. Her cheeks were red from the cold and the wind and her eyes were glistening in the moonlight.

“Gods, you’re beautiful,” the words tumbled from his mouth, and a playful glint glimmered in her eyes.

“You are not so bad yourself.”

Jon laughed.

“Its so lovely, I don’t know how I’ve lived my whole life not having snow in the winter time,” Dany confessed coming a little closer to him

“Well, considering you will be in Winterfell for quite some time finishing up that law degree, you may reasonably expect to have snow every year.”

“Just while I’m finishing my law degree?” She asked. The question took him off guard, what was she asking?

“Or you know,” Jon looked up at the sky, and the snow falling, “for as long as you want to hang around in Winterfell.”

“Do you expect me to go somewhere?” Dany asked seriously.

“Preferably not,” Jon tried to make his voice light, “Not unless you intend to take me with you of course.”

She laughed in merriment and started walking a little further down the hill. Jon followed. Dany turned and looked at him, a soft look in her eyes.

“Do you think I could leave you behind?”

Jon’s heart felt like it was going to pound right out of his chest.

“I just want you to know, love, that I am all in, wherever you go, I go. Like I said before, I choose you.”

Dany was still too far away for him to touch, but she was smiling, “And wherever you go, I go, Jon Snow, because I choose you too.”

“And just so you know, I want it all.”

“All?”

“You.”

“Mhmm?”

“Ghost,” He took a step toward her and she took a step back.

She giggled.

“The house with the porch swing,” Jon continued, trying to get closer to her but she kept taking steps away, a mischievous look in her eye.

“Yes?”

“Babies,” Jon confessed, and hesitated. They both stared at each for a few moments, the ache sharp and sweet between them, a shared grief that was too real for so many words.

“Yes,” she whispered in response.

“Life.”

“Yes,” At that she had stopped her retreat and she bent and picked up a handful of snow and rolled it around in her hands.

“I want it all,” Jon said, “With you, only with you.” Dany tossed him a smile and took another step away from him.

“Are you going to keep running from me? Come here,” Jon finally asked with a teasing laugh. Mischievous merriment still danced in her eyes.

Suddenly and quite unexpectedly, Dany threw the snow that she had formed into a ball at him, hitting him square in the face.

“Oh, you'll pay for that!" Jon laughed loudly, as he wiped the snow from his face.

Dany squealed and bolted back up the hill, “only if you can catch me, Jon Snow!"

Jon laughed and ran after her up the hill. About halfway up, he caught her around the waist and they laughingly tumbled into the snow, landing in an embankment that mostly hid them from view. They rolled once, giggling all the while, before settling on their sides and staring into each other's eyes. They were both breathing hard from running and still they stared. Vaguely, Jon registered the cold from the snow all around them, but it was a distant thought. He stroked a finger across her red wind burnt cheek. She reached up and stroked his beard, scooting a little closer. Jon smiled and she smiled back, the tender tension thick between them and the mounds of snow on either side of them making them feel alone in the world. Finally, Jon wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, and she melted into him. He wondered if the heat between them was melting the snow. Dany dug her fingers into his hair, as she fiercely kissed him back. Their mouths and hands danced together like an age-old waltz. Jon pulled back a moment looking into her eyes, before reaching ever so slowly to the button on her pants.

“May I?” He whispered, gruffly, his voice deep and soft, as he looked into her eyes.

“Yes,” Dany said breathlessly, and she sighed into his kiss, before nuzzling her face against his neck as his hand went back to the button of her pants and slowly unsnapped it. She kissed his neck gently. He could hear her breath coming out sharper and deeper against him. She flinched when his icy cold fingers touched the warm skin of her stomach.

"Sorry," he whispered gruffly, she released a sweet giggle though her face was still pressed against his neck. Slowly and tenderly, Jon let his fingers dip below the waist band of her panties, his knuckles stroking the soft skin just below her navel.

"Jon! Dany!" Robb's voice shouted, breaking them out of the moment.

"Seven fucking hells!" Jon snapped, not usually prone to cursing, but strings of expletives were all he could think of, "What the hell do you want, Stark?" Jon yelled, popping his head up from where the snow hid them, to glare at his intrusive cousin. Dany laughed softly and pressed herself closer though he could feel her snapping the button of her pants closed.

"Dinner's ready," Robb informed, "What are you two doing in the snow? You’re going to catch pneumonia."

Jon groaned, wondering how Robb could be so utterly clueless, or was he hassling him?

“You can always tell him we are taking a nap,” Dany suggested though she was blushing, while she tried to contain her laughter.

"Just give me a moment,” Jon whispered, “I'm gonna kill him.” She laughed.

Dany put her hand on his cheek and stroked her thumb across his lips.

"It's alright, darling," she whispered, "later," was her promise as she got up to go inside. Jon nodded, and followed her after taking a few moments to regain his composure.

"Later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so excited about this chapter this whole week, which made it hard to write as I really wanted it to be special. I hope it is not disappointing!
> 
> Next chapter: long awaited boat rides... Dany POV.


	38. Fire (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for delaying in posting this, it took longer to write than expected. 
> 
> Warning: This chapter does contain a love scene. I have never written a love scene before, so I'm so so sorry if it does not live up to everyone's expectations. It is not super graphic (it's a little more than canon boatsex but not much) as I wanted to focus more on how this moment captured all the feelings they had been through throughout the story. The scene is rather simple, but I really hope it is not disappointing.

There had been no _later_. The first night after they had been interrupted in the snow, they had spent most of the night playing games with their siblings, as Arya, Sansa and Gendry had to leave the next morning. Then last night after a particularly exhausting day adventuring with Robb and Margaery, Dany had gone to take a shower, promising to meet Jon in the loft. She had fallen asleep in his bed, cuddling Ghost, waiting for him, and she woke to find his arm around her waist this morning. Dany was beginning to believe that there would not be a _later_ until they got home. _Home_. She looked over at Jon who was still sleeping. He could be her home. More and more, she was realizing that he was her home. The thought brought tears to her eyes. Her tender thoughts were interrupted by Robb hollering for them. They had to be at the boat relatively soon. Dany gave Jon’s arm a playful smack, and he woke, with a grunt.

“Good morning,” She said with a smile. Jon rubbed sleep from his eyes, his tousled hair giving his handsome face a boyish innocence that made Dany’s heart melt. He buried his face back into the pillow.

“Can’t we just stay here forever?” He asked, though his voice was muffled by the pillow. Ghost came over and pawed at him. Jon laughed and turned his head to stare at the dog who was intently staring at him.

“I think Ghost is ready to go home,” Dany giggled. Jon turned and snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her close again, pressing his lips against the back of her neck. Dany felt her heart skip.

“Jon,” Dany said as she felt his hands rove across her stomach, twisting her shirt.

“Hmm?” He sighed as he kissed her neck again.

“Robb and Marge are already up, and we have to leave soon to get to the boat on time, we are already running behind,” Dany said, though she was giggling as he spooned her tighter against him and started to nibble at her shoulder over her pajama top.

“I hate boats,” Jon groaned.

“Well, you could always walk back, but I’m afraid you’d be on your own,” Dany laughed, and bit back a gasp as his hand came surprisingly close to her breast, but he did not touch her there. _The tease_ , she thought in frustration. With a wicked grin, Dany pressed her bottom back against him, and he nearly growled. Jon tightened his arm around her waist, holding her to him. Dany could not bite back the moan that escaped as she could feel the shape of him against her through their pajamas. Ghost, who rarely made a sound, barked. Dany laughed out loud then.

“Jon, we have to get up and get our things together.”

Jon huffed against her neck and released the hold he had on her, “I know.”

Dany sat up, and smoothed some of his beautiful curls away from his face, “Why didn’t you wake me up last night?”

Jon’s hand stroked up and down her spine a few times, “We had had such a long day, and you were sleeping so peacefully, I did not have the heart to wake you.”

Dany glared at him.

“What? Did you want me too?” He teased, with a sly grin. Dany glared down at him again. Jon grabbed her then, tickling her sides, and she erupted into a fit of giggles as he wrestled her beneath him. Jon looked down at her, his eyes softening. Dany reached up and touched his cheek, her breathing uneven as she felt his weight pressing between her legs. He leaned in and kissed her forehead.

“I wish we had more time this morning,” He whispered, gruffly. Dany playfully kicked his backside with her foot.

“We could have, if you had woken me up last night.”

Jon rolled off her with a roar of laughter, and they got out of bed to get ready to leave their sanctuary.

 

            Robb and Marge were reclining on some chairs on deck, Ghost at their feet, as Dany and Jon leaned against the railing, watching the sun sink behind the horizon. The sky was all purple and orange and pink. The deck was relatively deserted except for the five of them, as the winter air was cold and not many of the other passengers wanted to be outdoors. Robb, Marge, and Jon seemed unphased. Dany, however, was pressed so close to Jon for warmth she was nearly inside his coat. Jon had his arms around her to keep her warm.

“We can go inside if you are that cold,” Jon said, with a chuckle.

“No, I want to see the sunset,” Dany whispered softly, “The ocean is the only thing I miss about Kings Landing.”

Jon kissed her hair.

“I used to sneak out of the house when I was a teenager on days that were especially hard with… with Viserys, and I would go to the beach and watch the sun melt into the ocean and imagine I was somewhere else,” Dany said, feeling a strange nostalgia settling over her.

“Are you imagining you are somewhere else now?” Jon asked, though his confident voice indicated he knew the answer to that.

“This is exactly where I want to be,” Dany whispered. They were quiet for a bit as a few stars started to peek out from behind the darkening, pink veil of the sky.

“Dany,” Jon started.

“Hmm?”

“I wanted to ask you…” He seemed hesitant, nervous almost.

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to pressure you, or make you feel like you have to make any decisions right now,” He said, and Dany nodded, curious where he was going with this.

“Alright?”

“But…I want you to know,” Jon held her closer, “Whenever you are ready…. If you want to come home…. To be with me….” He did not seem to be able to find the right words, but Dany waited, wanting to hear them.

“If you want to come home…I want you to know that I want you too…whenever you are ready,” He finally managed to say. His voice sounded so vulnerable and shy, just as it had that day all those months ago when he told her he was going to take her home from the hospital. _“I’m going to take you home with me, if you are alright with that,”_ he had said, as if he had been afraid that she would disappear right in front of him. Dany had been terrified that day, terrified that Missandei was going to send her alone to a strange apartment, with a strange man, in a strange city. _“Jon is going to take good care of you…I trust Jon with you,”_ Missy had said. That week at the apartment felt so long ago now, as if it were from a different life altogether. She and Jon had started to build something new together. How had he said it that day in therapy? Love was not just about falling; it was also about building. And Dany did love him again, she wanted to build with him.

“I want to come home,” she whispered, after a long deliberative silence. Jon only nodded in response and placed another kiss against her hair.

 

Jon and Dany parted from Robb and Marge in the hallway, and Ghost and Jon went to one cabin and Dany went to the other. She had wanted him to ask if she could come to his, or if he could come to hers, but he did not. Maybe she should have asked him herself, but she suddenly felt somewhat shy. She wanted him. Gods, how she wanted him, but this all felt so new to her. Loving someone was different than just a haphazard tumble in the sheets, and she had precious little experience with truly loving someone. Dany went through the motions of getting ready for sleep. Unbraiding her hair, she brushed it out and put on her pajamas, just as she was about to get into bed, she pulled out the photo of her and Jon at Winterfell pier on their first date, he had told her it had been a cold November day. In her dreams, however, it had been springtime. So many dreams of spring.

Dany’s thoughts were interrupted by three firm knocks on her door. She opened it. Jon stood there staring at her. _Finally_. They stared for a moment, before Dany opened the door all the way, and he confidently strode in and shut it behind him. When the door closed, Jon crowded her against it, resting his forearm above her head as he loomed over her, staring at her. His other hand moved to her waist, softly stroking her side. When Dany looked up at him, she saw pure love and barely restrained desire in his eyes. Their gaze held for a few moments, before Dany slowly slid her hands beneath his shirt. She felt the hard planes of his stomach as she drew the fabric up and over his head. Placing her hand on his chest over his heart, she felt it pounding.

“I can feel your heart beating,” She whispered, feeling shy, even as she reached her other hand up to caress his cheek. Even though it was not their first time together, for her it felt like it was, and she felt sweet nerves, mixed with the heady passion that was starting to course under her skin.

“Aye,” Jon’s voice was husky as he leaned down and nuzzled his nose into her hair. She leaned her forehead against his chest, tucking her head beneath his chin.

“I love you,” She whispered, in a soft, choked voice. He leaned back to look into her eyes, his face so open and vulnerable.

“And I love you,” He responded, and stroked her cheek, “so much.”

Then Jon kissed her… soft at first, then more firmly as his body pressed her against the door. Dany released a soft whimper as she deepened the kiss, her fingers sinking into his hair, as she pulled herself closer. One of his hands rested on her lower back, holding her to him, while the other roamed along her side, down her arms, and caressing her hip. Dany felt like she was on fire, gasping into his mouth as she reached for the hem of her own shirt. Smiling, he stilled her hands and drew it up and off her himself. When she met his eyes again, he looked ravenous. Jon reached for her and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her pajamas and paused. Their eyes met. The question was on his face.

“Yes,” she whispered softly, and then painfully slowly he tugged her pajama bottoms and panties down until he was kneeling at her feet. He took hold of her ankle and helped her step out of them, first one foot and then the other, never breaking his gaze from hers. Dany felt her heart thundering in her chest, as her breathing became labored. Jon skimmed his fingers up her calves, and he pressed a soft kiss to her leg right above her knee. Dany was shaking, as she threaded her fingers through his hair. He feathered open-mouthed kisses up her leg. She whimpered and could not stop her back from arching off the wall and into his touch. She felt a smile on his lips as he kissed her hip and flattened his palm against her stomach.

“Easy, love,” he whispered. Jon stood and caught her lips once more. Suddenly, he swept her off her feet, carrying her like a bride to the bed, peppering sweet, light kisses to her lips and cheeks and nose, making her smile. Giving her a teasing grin, he tossed her on the bed, after which he began to remove his pants. Dany bit her lip and watched. His eyes never left hers as his pants and briefs fell to the floor, and he stalked toward her on the bed. Dany started to back herself up toward the headboard, but he followed her taking hold of her ankle to halt her retreat. His dark eyes drinking in the sight of her bare body. Dany felt herself blush, as his eyes roved over her. Jon smiled at her then, a sweet smile, and pulled himself up to lay beside her. Now side by side, he leaned his forehead against hers, and stroked his fingers up and down her side, and smoothed a hand over her hip. Dany pressed herself closer to him, her heart pounding now, as she kissed him, pouring every ounce of love and tenderness within her into the kiss. She gasped harshly and nearly bit his lip when she felt one of his hands dip between her legs to stroke her there.

“Alright?” He nuzzled his nose against her cheek and asked, though his voice was gruff and gravelly, and his breath was coming out in pants.

“Yes,” Dany heard herself whimper, as she kissed him again. Jon pulled away from her mouth, and planted a soft, open-mouthed kiss to her collarbone, and to her chest, and then her sternum. Dany trembled as he nuzzled against her breast before taking one in his mouth and suckling, gently. She gripped his hair, holding him to her, as she released a deep moan.

            A tear slipped down Dany’s cheek, as she wondered if she had ever felt so loved and cared for as his mouth and hands tended to every part of her. She did not think she had ever made love before him. Suddenly, one of Jon’s hand swiped the tear off her cheek, and she looked down to see his tender eyes studying her, his hunger banked for a moment. Smiling at him, she reached to pull him back up to her mouth, which he willing obliged. Hands in her hair, he cradled her face, kissing her, their tongues dancing together. Jon rolled onto his back, pulling her with him until she was half draped across his chest. His lips chased hers anytime she stopped for breath. Dany let one of her legs fall across his thigh, so that he could feel every inch of her, as she kissed him, and her hand stroked his side. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment, both panting.

“Daenerys?” It was a question.

“Yes,” was her soft but emphatic answer. Jon flipped them over and hooked a hand beneath her bent knee, gently nudging her legs apart. Jon’s hand cradled her head, as he nipped at her lips. Gasping, Dany’s toes curled as their bodies melded together. She clung to him, her fingers digging into his shoulders. He claimed her lips once again. Jon’s body moved firmly against hers, almost with the sway of the ship, and encompassed all that he was: strong and gentle, patient and steady. Suddenly, he pulled back, breathing deeply, and looked at her. Just looked. His eyes holding hers, and Dany felt like he could see into her very heart. She did not… could not…look away.

            Jon returned his mouth to hers, lavishing her with kisses, alternating between her lips and her neck. His movements were deep and firm and when she came it was with a sweet, shuddering sob against his neck as he mouthed tender, soothing words against her ear, words about how much he loved and wanted her. His own release followed another firm thrust, and passionate kiss, before he collapsed atop her, panting heavily against her shoulder. For a moment they were the only ones in the world. Dany never knew a moment like this could heal, but as she clung to him in the aftermath, stroking his soft hair, there was only Jon and her and the fire they had started to cauterize the wounds of the past.


	39. Intermission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm sorry this not an actual chapter but an intermission

_Originally, I was going to end this story here and add an epilogue for what happens after, but due to a handful of people who really seem to be enjoying this story, I will continue to write it instead of ending it with the epilogue. The only catch is, Over the next month or so I may not be able to add chapters quite as frequently, so that is a down side to that._

 

_Things to to look forward to in coming chapters_

_\- Christmas with the starks_

_\- Dany moves home with Jon_

_\- Dany goes back to school_

_\- Jon is given a complicated new case at work_

_\- among other things_

 

_the rest of this story is coming especially for those who have really enjoyed it! I appreciate the enthusiasm and thank you so much for reading! More is on the way._


	40. Hesitations (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a little mini-chapter to hopefully pique your interest and set up the next phase of the story! Enjoy!

Jon snuggled up closer to Dany’s sleeping form. Her platinum blonde hair was loose and fanned across her pillow, Jon smoothed it back and nuzzled his face against the back of her neck. She did not stir and so he tried to remain still so as not to wake her. He had to be at work soon, and Dany was going to spend the day shopping with Marge and Sansa. Marge and Robb had a set the date for their wedding. Three months seemed impossible to Jon. He and Dany would have been engaged for nearly a year had they gotten married when they planned, and the wedding they had planned had been relatively simple. Marge, however, was not a simple person, and the idea that she could pull off a wedding in three months was almost laughable. Jon figured, though, that if anyone could do it, Marge could as she seemed to exude a boundless amount of energy.

            Jon placed a gentle kiss to Dany’s neck, trying to be soft so that she could sleep. He wondered if she was nervous about moving home with him. They had not talked much about their feelings in that regard since coming home from vacation. Jon had been hesitant to bring it up, not wanting to pop the beautiful bubble they had been living in since she had told him that she loved him. She was still living at Sansa’s and they had planned to move her home after Christmas which was only a few days away now. Even though she had spent almost every night in their bed since returning from vacation a week ago, Jon knew, judging from the first time she had moved in with him, that she may have qualms, maybe even fears. He gently kissed her neck again, this time she moved a little bit and reached back, tangling her hand in his hair. _Always the hair_ , Jon had to chuckle to himself.

“If you keep kissing me like that, you are going to be late for work,” Dany whispered in a sleepy voice.

“There are worse reasons to lose one’s job,” Jon laughed against her neck. Dany giggled sweetly. Jon had always loved morning time with her, even before the accident. All worries and hesitations seemed to be so far away when they lay in their bed together as the sun rose, their minds still emerging from peaceful sleep. Jon flattened his palm against her stomach and drew her naked body to him, her back against his chest, placing a more passionate, open-mouth kiss against her neck. He felt Dany lift her leg and drape it across his in silent invitation. An invitation which he accepted with a desperate moan against her hair, as he slipped inside her and wrapped her in his arms. He gently stroked her stomach, as he moved, while his other hand caressed her breast. Jon adored her shuddering little moans. Dany pressed herself back against him, as if she needed to get closer to assure herself that he was not going to let her go. He tightened his arms around her, anchoring her to him, letting her know that he was there, and he was not going anywhere.

            Afterward, they were quiet, still entangled together. Jon did not want to look at the clock, knowing that he needed to get up any minute now. Jon stroked sweaty strands of hair from her face, as his body was still curled around hers.

“Do we need to cook something to contribute to Christmas dinner at the Starks?” Dany suddenly asked. Jon laughed out loud and rolled onto his back. Her mind was always running a thousand miles an hour. She turned to glare at him.

“What?” Dany snapped, looking unsure if she should be amused or annoyed by his mirth. Jon looked at her.

“I’m not sure if I should be offended or not that the first thing out of your mouth after I’ve made love to you, is about groceries,” Jon could not stop laughing. Dany rolled her eyes but smiled.

“Well, I feel like it is a very valid question, and as I am going to be out shopping today, I thought perhaps I might pick ingredients up,” Dany huffed playfully.

“Aunt Cat usually has us adult children bring sides or appetizers, so if you want us to make something we can,” Jon said, “But Aunt Cat is also aware that the two of us are not world class chefs, and so we usually bring drinks. It’s up too you though, I will help with whatever you want to do.”

“It could be fun to try and cook something,” Dany giggled. Jon chuckled.

“Well, I’m all for a good adventure.”

Dany playfully smacked his arm and sat up, just as she did Ghost leapt up on the bed, landing squarely atop Jon, nearly knocking the wind from him.

“Seven hells,” Jon huffed in surprise as Ghost settled atop him, “You big lug, you are not a lap dog.” Ghost perked his ears up then looked at Dany, who scratched him behind the ears.

“Poor baby, is your daddy calling you names?” Dany crooned at the big white dog and tossed Jon a grin that nearly undid him. Jon laughed.

“I swear he still thinks he’s a puppy.”

“He is a puppy,” Dany laughed and kissed Ghost’s head.

Shaking his head in mock exasperation, Jon tried to roll Ghost off him, “Come on, ole’boy, _daddy_ has to get up.”

 

            As Jon got ready for work, Dany took Ghost for a walk, and when she came back, they had coffee and breakfast together. It all felt so normal, so right, almost like nothing had happened, and the last few months had been some sort of bad dream. Jon knew, though, that he could not take the calm for granted. They were building something new together, but there were still land mines to navigate. When he got to work, Davos called him into his office.

“Have a seat,” The older man said, “We’ve got a case, that I am thinking about giving to you.”

“Alright.”

“A ten-year-old girl recently orphaned,” Davos started. Jon was puzzled, this seemed to be his year for cases outside is usual expertise. Jon usually handled older children, teenagers mostly, and cases of abuse, but this year he had been given Shireen who was much younger than his usual clients, and then the toddler Edric, when he never dealt with hospital cases, “She is actually in Beth’s territory, and so I gave her case to Beth first.” Davos explained. Jon was curious now. Why was Beth not continuing with the case?

As if Davos could read his mind, he continued with a slight smirk, “The girl made Beth cry.”

“What?” Jon exclaimed. His co-worker, Beth Cassell, was sweet and kind, but she had been a childcare social worker for years, and her experience made her one of the most reliable case managers in their office. She was not the type to cry.

“A ten-year-old girl made Beth cry?” Jon asked, incredulous. Davos sat the file on his desk.

“She comes from a staunch military family,” Davos explained, “Her mother who was soldier was killed in action this past summer, she has spent most of her life living with her grandfather, who was a General.”

“What happened?” Jon asked, compassion already stirring inside him.

“Her grandfather passed a little over a month ago from a heart attack, the poor child was there alone with him when it happened, and she has no other living relatives.”

“The father?”

“Has never been in the picture, we are actually trying to locate him, but even if we do, we don’t know anything about his circumstances,” Davos said with a sigh, “She has already run away from two foster homes, and if we can’t keep her in a foster home, we will have to relocate her to a group home, which there are one or two that I think she would do well at…”

“But?”

“But considering how recently she has lost her entire family, I feel she needs to be in a home with more individualized attention, which she would be able to get in a foster home, with foster parents,” Davos said, “I know this is outside your territory, and expertise, but I thought with your military background that the two of you may be able to find a way to relate to each other, in a way she wasn’t able to with Beth. I’d give the case to Brienne, but Brienne is already over loaded as it is.”

Jon opened the case file, “What’s her name?”

“Lyanna Mormont.”


	41. Dresses (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading and commenting! Here is another fluffy, angsty mini-chapter to help get the next phase of the story set up, and until I can get out a more substantive chapter. I hope you enjoy, and I am sorry for it's brevity!

Christmas had exploded on downtown Winterfell. Christmas was complicated. Dany had not celebrated Christmas much as a child, in fact until she had met Sansa and Missandei her Christmas memories were spotty at best. She was excited to experience Christmas with the Starks, and with Jon. She felt warmth blossom in her heart and in her stomach, thinking of spending Christmas with Jon. All of her growing up years she had pretended that Christmas, and holidays in general did not matter, which had always been a way for her as a child to shield herself from further disappointment. Dany imagined the Starks must have had the type of Christmases seen in movies or on postcards. For her, holidays had always reinforced how lonely she was as a child. As she and Jon had spent four Christmases together, she wondered if they had any Christmas traditions that she should know about. Dany had wanted to ask him this morning over breakfast, but since coming home from vacation their days had been so blissfully sweet, she had not wanted to ruin it by reminding them both of how much they had lost. Dany brushed the thoughts aside, right now, she was out with Margaery and Sansa, shopping and helping get Marge started on planning her wedding which was only three months away. Thinking about Christmas traditions would hardly help in that endeavor.

            Marge was generally extravagant about most things, which was often easily forgiven as she was both sweet and unassumingly generous, and so when she pulled Dany and Sansa into a fancy wedding dress boutique they were not surprised. The Starks were wealthy, and, in spite of the abuses she had suffered, Dany’s family, such as it was, was wealthy due to the success of her father and Rhaegar’s business. Both Dany and the Starks, however, had simple tastes, and from what Dany knew of her and Jon’s life together indicated that while they were comfortable, they certainly lived within in a budget as they were each in the midst of building their careers. Dany thought it may be unfair of her to assume that Marge did not know what a budget was, as Dany knew that Marge’s wealth was not due solely to her family but also to her own investments and financial savvy, but the Tyrell’s were a different level of rich than both the Stark’s and the Targaryen’s. A Tyrell wedding would be a high society event.

            The wedding consultant offered them seats. Dany and Sansa who were still a little damp and shivering from the snowy weather outside, exchanged a look before they sat down on the pristine white couch. Dany hoped that her damp backside did not leave a water mark.

“My grandmother will be here for a visit in a couple of weeks to help me with plans,” Marge explained, “But I wanted to go ahead and start dress shopping because I know the perfect dress can be hard to find.”

Dany doubted a perfect dress existed…except for, perhaps, her own. She had only looked at it once, but it was still hanging in the closet at Jon’s apartment…soon to be their apartment. Dany was not having second thoughts about agreeing to move back in with him, but that did not prevent that inevitable apprehension from weaseling its way back inside her heart. She believed that she trusted Jon. She knew that she loved him. Some old fears, however, like old habits, die hard. Since coming home from vacation, she had spent all but two nights in his bed making love and the two nights that she had spent away they had made up for with double the enthusiasm the next night. Jon was a proper lover. Sweet but passionate. Playful at times but serious at others. Someone had once told Dany that love came in through the eyes, and Jon certainly spent plenty of time looking, sometimes it was endearing and sometimes it made her feel vulnerable, but she always looked back because no one had ever looked at her like Jon. No one had ever been tender with her the way Jon was tender. For that matter, no one had ever loved her like Jon.

            A few moments later Marge emerged from the dressing room wearing a white satin gown embellished with pearls and a plunging neckline. It was lovely, and breathtaking on Marge. Dany could tell, however, that Marge was not sold. Dany was curious if Sansa, Missandei and Marge had come with her to pick out her dress. Had she been choosy? Or had she known immediately? It made her a bit sad that she could not remember. She wondered what her dress looked like on her. It was a thought she immediately dismissed as girlishly sentimental. What did it matter what she looked like in it since she had not been able to wear it and she could not remember picking it out? Dany sniffed back some tears that took her quite by surprise.

            After their unsuccessful dress browsing, Marge treated them to lunch at a bistro.

“Have you and Jon decorated for Christmas yet?” Sansa asked as they ate, “I went over there to drop something off to him yesterday and he did not have any decorations up.”

Dany frowned, “I had not thought anything of it.”

Sansa looked puzzled, “You used to love Christmas decorations.”

“Really?” Now Dany was confused, “We never decorated when I was a child. We hardly celebrated Christmas to be honest.”

“I would imagine there is a box of Christmas decorations somewhere in that apartment,” Sansa said, seeming unsure of how to respond to that.

“I’ll ask, Jon, tonight when I see him,” Dany said. She had no recollection of ever putting up Christmas decorations. When she had been a little girl, she had always wanted to decorate the house and eat a meal at Christmas time like she saw in the movies, but Viserys had always said it was a waste of time, and so they never did. Drogo had not cared about Christmas either, when they shared a home. Both homes had been so joyless, Dany knew that Christmas decorations would not have solved any problems. Would Jon want to decorate his apartment?

            The girls had shopped, and shopped, and finally ended their expedition at the grocery store. Before she had left the apartment this morning, Dany had found a recipe for an exotic cheese puff pastry that had looked delicious. After finding it she had thought of little else regarding food, and what to make to take to the Stark’s Christmas. Jon had said he would help with whatever she wanted to do, and so she determined that they would do this together. The recipe seemed somewhat complicated but surely between the two of them, they could figure it out. Dany decided to drop the groceries by Jon’s apartment, and see Ghost before going home for the day. Jon still had an hour or two left before he would come home from work. Ghost happily greeted her at the door.

“Oh, my sweet boy,” She crooned at the big white dog, “How could I ever forget someone as sweet as you?” Dany hugged Ghost, burying her face in his white fur for a few moments, and felt her shopping stress melt from her.

She put away the groceries, and then proceeded to take Ghost for a walk which did not last long as more snow was starting to fall from the sky, and it was cold. Dany looked at her clock on her phone before setting it down on the kitchen table. Should she wait for Jon to get home or head back to Sansa’s? She really needed to finish packing up her belongings at Sansa’s. Dany walked back to the bedroom to retrieve her dirty clothes that she had worn yesterday and left here when she went shopping this morning. When she did, her eyes landed on the closet door. Her wedding dress was in that closet. Dany shook her head telling herself it was foolish. Ghost only studied her.

“I’m not putting it on,” She told the dog, who perked his ears up as if he could understand every word she said. Dany retrieved her clothes and stopped in front of the closet again. _Looking at it_ _could not hurt, could it?_ She mused and stood there. Slowly, almost reverently, Dany opened the closet and unzipped the garment bag. She studied the simple but beautiful dress, and it was confirmed in her mind that her dress was, in fact, _perfect_. Jon would not be home for awhile yet, and it was her dress after all, why should she not try it on? Smiling to herself, Dany took the gown off the hanger and went into the bedroom, feeling like a surreptitious little girl playing dress up in her mother’s clothes. Ghost sat on the bed and watched her curiously.

“I’m just putting it on for a moment,” Dany said, “I just want to see what it looks like.”

            Dany drew the dress over her head and arranged the layers of fabric around her. It zipped in the back, which was going to prove tricky. Wrestling with her arms and the fabric and the stubborn zipper, Dany managed to wrangle the zipper all the way up, though how she managed it she was not quite sure. Looking into the full-length mirror, Dany admired the dress. It was radiant, and a shame that she had not had the opportunity to wear it.

“What do you think, Ghost?” Dany asked with a grin, “Perfect dress? Or no?” Ghost only stared. Dany turned back toward the mirror and gave the fabric a little twirl. Suddenly, Dany’s daydreams were interrupted by the front door opening.

“Dany?” Came Jon’s voice down the hallway. He must have seen her car parked out front.

 _Shit_ , Dany began to panic. How was she going to explain standing in the middle of his bedroom wearing her wedding dress? She tried to unzip the dress, but it would not unzip. _Shit_. Panic mounted, and she flew to the bedroom door and locked herself in.

“Dany? Ghost? Are the two of you here?” Jon called again. Dany wrestled with the zipper some more. She could hear his footsteps coming down the hall.

“Dany?” He said again. Dany was beside herself.

“Just give me one bloody minute!” Dany snapped. The zipper would not come back down. She was now essentially trapped in her dress.

“Alright, alright,” Jon said with a chuckle, from the other side of the door. Ghost howled.

“Traitor,” Dany whispered to the big white dog who was studying her.

“Everything ok?” Jon asked, just before he tried to open the door.

“Yes, yes.”

“Why is the door locked?” He asked in amusement. Dany rolled her eyes, trying to think of how to get the dress off.

“Because I don’t want you to come in,” She snapped at him.

“Okay, okay,” Jon laughed, but Dany could not tell if he was still right in front of the door or not.

            Dany wrestled with the fabric for another ten minutes, afraid if she tugged to hard in one way or another, she would rip it, and ruin her dress. It fit her form to well to pull down over her hips, or up over her head. She was near tears now as she struggled with the zipper. It had to be snagged on the fabric. Ghost gave her sympathetic little whine. She did not want Jon to see her in her dress. She could call Missandei. Missandei lived down the road. Dany shook her head, Missandei was likely still at work, and besides, she had left her phone on the kitchen table. Cursing at herself, Dany went and unlocked the door.

“Jon?” She called in a small defeated voice, only cracking the door enough so that her voice could carry down the hallway. He appeared a few minutes later, and Dany hid her body behind the door so he could not see her dress.

“Yes?”

“I need you to do something for me,” Dany hated how mousy her voice sounded at this moment. For some inexplicable reason she felt embarrassed, and shy.

“Alright?”

“Close your eyes,” Dany demanded, still feeling foolish. Jon obeyed. Dany opened the door all the way and took him by the hand, “Keep them closed.”

“I am.”

She positioned him and then came to stand in front of him, guiding his hand to her back.

“I need you to unzip this dress,” She said softly.

“With my eyes closed?” Jon asked, a hint of a smile in his voice.

“Yes, Jon Snow, with your eyes closed,” Dany said firmly. Dany felt his hand run across her shoulder and down her back, searching for the zipper with his eyes closed. One of her tears escaped. She felt his hand linger for a moment on the straps of the dress, and she wondered if he had guessed what dress this was. She knew he could probably feel the full skirt brushing up against his legs. But she still could not bring herself to let him open his eyes. His fingers worked the zipper without much luck.

“Dany, I know you want me to keep my eyes closed,” He started in a soft voice, “And I can probably get the zipper loose if I just pull hard enough, but that may rip the dress if I can’t see what I am doing.”

Dany huffed, trying to reign in her emotions.

“Fine,” She conceded, “You can open your eyes.” Dany knew the moment he did, because a sharp breath left him, and his hand caressed the fabric. Dany turned around to face him but found she could not look him in the eye.

“Dany…” Jon’s voice had gotten thick with emotion, “You… you… you look really pretty.”

“I didn’t want you to see,” Dany whispered, still not meeting his eye. As if sensing she needed a moment of privacy, Jon’s hands guided her to turn back around so he could continue with the zipper. They said nothing for a few moments as she felt Jon’s hands deftly work to free the snagged zipper. Once he did, he brushed his fingers up her now bare shoulder blades. Dany kept her back to him.

“You weren’t supposed to be home,” Dany said, by way of trying to explain why she was in her wedding dress in his bedroom, but no other words came out of her mouth.

“Well, if I hadn’t come home you’d still be stuck here in this dress,” Jon said, with a slight chuckle.

“It’s not funny!” Dany protested.

“It is a little funny,” He insisted. Dany whipped around and glared at him but softened as soon as she saw the tear stains on his cheeks. Jon reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

He gave her a soft smile, “It’s a beautiful dress.”

            Jon did not ask why she had tried on the dress much to Dany’s relief, and they had simply carried on with their evening. Later that night after dinner and a fluffy Christmas movie, Dany and Jon sat quiet and cuddled on the sofa and Dany studied the living room. It did not look like Christmas, and she wanted to ask him about it again, but could not find the words. She was not sure why she felt so hesitant to ask him. Jon, then, pulled her close and kissed her. She giggled. He was insatiable, as if he was making up for all the lost time between her accident and now. Instead of falling back against the couch, however, Dany kissed him passionately and swung her leg across him, straddling his lap and ground down against him. He groaned and kneaded her hips. As she kissed him, the thought of Christmas decorations and wedding dresses flitted through her mind once again. She tried to brush away the thought and kissed him harder. His hand gave her breast a gentle squeeze, and she let out a soft moan. Suddenly, her momentum unexplainably crashed, and she stopped moving and laid her head down on his shoulder, though she remained straddling his lap. He withdrew his hand from her breast and started to soothingly stroke her back.

“Are you alright, love?” He asked, sounding a little winded from their halted make-out. Dany nodded against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close. He continued stroking her back, making no move to continue their passionate kisses. Jon held her, and for a right now that was enough.


	42. Fathers (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So........I wrote this chapter before I watched tonight's real episode... and after I watched it I debated about whether or not I wanted to post it tonight. Obviously as you are reading this, I am going ahead and posting...but for everyone who has seen the episode, please be mindful not to give away any spoilers in the comments. 
> 
> I appreciate everyone sticking with me through this story, your enthusiasm keeps me motivated!

Many thanks to [daenerysjon29](https://archiveofourown.org/users/daenerysjon29/pseuds/daenerysjon29) for creating this lovely moodboard to accompany this story! Thank you so much!

* * *

 

Sputtering, Jon woke with a mouthful of shiny blonde hair and a heavy weight against his chest. He opened his eyes to see Dany still draped across his chest just as they had fallen asleep on the couch last night. His neck ached and back ached, and Jon suddenly wondered when he had gotten so old. Ghost licked his hand, likely indicating a need to go outdoors. He had overslept, not enough to be late, but enough to prevent a leisurely awakening with Dany. There were still two days till Christmas, but that meant there were lots of things to wrap up at work. He had to visit his new client, Lyanna Mormont, today for the first time. He was not sure what to expect from a child that had made the formidable and professional Beth Cassell cry, but knew he needed to be prepared, which meant stopping by the office to reread her file, which meant he needed to get his day started.

“Dany, love?” Jon brushed hair from her face. She shifted and tightened her hold on him but did not wake, which made him chuckle, “Dany, I need to get up.”

“Why?” She murmured in her sleep.

“Because its morning,” Jon groaned with a laugh. Her eyes shot open and she sat up.

“How?” Dany rubbed her face, “Did we sleep here all night?”

“Apparently.”

She chuckled and nuzzled her face back against his neck, “I don’t want to get up.”

“Well, neither do I, but….”

“I know…work calls,” he felt her smile against his skin. Jon patted her bottom to urge her up from his lap, and she laughingly collapsed into the couch at his side. He felt his heart stir, along with other parts of him, at the sight of her shiny morning eyes and disheveled hair sprawled lazily across the couch.

“You better get up while you still can,” She said with a sassy smile that nearly undid him right there. Jon wrenched himself from the couch and made to grab Ghost’s leash.

“I can take him, Jon, I have no plans this morning, you go get ready for work,” Dany said, sitting up. Jon leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

“Thanks, love.”

He turned to go but Dany grabbed his hand.

“Jon?”

“Yes?”

She hesitated.

“Do we…” She started to say but did not continue. Jon was not sure how to respond.

“Do we what?”

“Nothing,” Dany smiled at him and reached up and kissed him softly. He kissed her in return, before going to shower.

 

            Jon had worked with this foster family once before when they had fostered one of his teenagers. They were good people and Jon liked them very much. They currently had two foster children. One was a little boy that had been with them for nearly a year, one of Beth’s cases, whom Jon knew they were discussing the possibility of adoption. The boy was five. The second foster child was Lyanna Mormont, and she had been placed with the couple a week ago after running away from a different foster home who had decided they were unable to take her back. Jon knew Davos and his bosses were assessing whether Lyanna needed to be placed in a group home, after having run away from two foster families in less than a month. Davos, as well as Jon, and their agency always preferred to place their children with foster families, but occasionally there were exceptions, usually behavioral, that required they place them in group homes. Jon took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell, surely someone could get through to an orphaned little girl?

“Oh, Jon, it’s so good to see you,” The foster mother seemed so relieved to see him, that Jon was not sure what to make of the situation.

“It’s good to see you too,” Jon said giving her hand a shake. They exchanged the usual pleasantries, as she led him to the living room. In the middle of the room, was a slender, dark haired girl with dark eyes sitting cross legged on the floor, studying a structure made of Legos that he presumed she had built. She did not look up at him when he came in.

“Hello…” Jon started to introduce himself.

“You are late,” Lyanna said tersely, and leveled him with steely eyes. Jon looked down at the time. What she said was technically true, he was approximately three minutes late, but he had never had a child take notice of something so small.

“I’m Jo…” he began again.

“I know who you are.”

Jon smiled at her, hoping to build some rapport, “My mother’s name was Lyanna.”

“It’s a common northern name,” Lyanna stated, flatly.

Jon clapped his mouth shut and decided to take a different approach. He sat down, cross legged as well, in front of her Legos.

“Did you build this?” he asked indicating the little fort she had constructed, trying to sound light and cheerful.

“Obviously,” She said with so much ice in her tone that Jon might have felt a chill. Her face was like fine carved stone. Jon wondered how long it had been since she smiled. Both her mother’s, and her grandfather’s deaths had been shockingly sudden and only four months apart. Jon was not sure what to say, and so he opted for trying to relate.

“My sister, Arya, and I used to play with Legos, I’m still quite fond of them,” He said, and he saw her eyes flick up to his for a moment with a cold look of disbelief.

“It’s for the baby,” Lyanna explained, and Jon restrained a chuckle at the characterization of her five-year-old foster brother as a baby, “he could not build anything properly.”

“Well, it’s nice of you to help him,” Jon said giving her a smile. She glared at him as if sizing him up.

“Helping children is important,” She said, and looked him square in the eye, as if daring him to call her a child. They sat for a few moments in silence, Lyanna occasionally fixing a portion of her Lego fort, and every so often glancing up at him with the same cold, assessing look in her eyes. Pretending not to notice her glares, Jon picked up a few Legos himself, and replicated the structures he saw her adding to her little fort. She reached over and fixed one of the blocks that he misplaced, and he had to restrain a smile.

“So, what else do you like to do for fun?” Jon asked,

“I think we have made enough small talk,” Lyanna said, her voice even, “I know why you are here; you might as well get to the point.”

 

            All of Jon’s thoughts were consumed with Lyanna as he drove home. He decided to do the remainder of his paperwork from home this afternoon, as he had already finished his visits before meeting with Lyanna. The rest of their visit had gone much like the first portion, he attempted to ask a question, and she gave him terse, blunt answers. He felt like they had gotten nowhere, and yet he could not stop thinking about her. An adult could not live with the grief of losing their entire family and still manage to hold themselves together, and yet Lyanna had given no outward indication of being unsettled. He knew that she was unsettled, as her running away from two foster homes indicated but no one who spoke with her today would have been able to tell. She was tense and seemed utterly annoyed to have had her day interrupted by a social worker.

            Jon walked into the apartment and Ghost bounded up to him and nearly tackled him, excited to go outside in the snow. Dany had therapy with Tyrion this afternoon and he was thankful that they had scheduled their next couple’s session for after Christmas, as he was exhausted from sleeping on the couch last night, and needed to take time this afternoon to sort through Lyanna’s case and set some goals for her. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and so he likely would not see Lyanna until well into next week. He had wanted to ask the girl how she felt about spending her first Christmas without her family today, but they did not reach that level of trust with this visit. Jon knew that each of his cases were different, and each had different needs, but he had never met a child as in command of herself as Lyanna seemed to be, and Jon did not know if that was healthy or destructive. The foster parents seemed scared of her, and he could not say that he blamed them, but intimidated foster parents were not going to be able to help Lyanna cope with the emotions that were bound to come out of her at some point.

After taking Ghost for a walk, Jon sat down at the kitchen table and set about studying Lyanna’s file, filling in her paperwork from his visit today, and determining the wisest next steps. Moving in with her current foster family meant that she was in a different school district than she had been in before winter break. Jon did not like the idea of having to move her to a different school, and had she stayed at the first foster home, she could have stayed in her school. Jon would need to communicate with the in-school social worker at her new school and make sure they were apprised of their unique situation. Most often orphans from loving families went on to live with relatives or family friends, but Lyanna had no one it seemed, or at least no one who would claim her. That broke something inside Jon, and he sighed deeply, raking his hand through his hair. He wondered who her father was and felt anger well up inside him. Father’s were supposed to be like Ned Stark, and yet so very few were. His own father certainly was not.

 

Jon was startled awake by the feeling of someone stroking his hair. He sat upright, from where he had fallen asleep on his paperwork at the kitchen table to see Dany smiling down at him. He looked out the window, the sun was going down.

“Long day?” She asked, as she scooted a plate with a sandwich and chips toward him with a sweet grin. Jon smiled at her and thanked her.

“A hard case,” Jon raked his hand through his hair, and gave her hand a squeeze.

“Abuse case?” She asked, vaguely. She knew he could not tell her specifics due to confidentiality, but he could at least confide in her his own feelings.

“Orphan.”

“How long?”

“One month,” Jon sighed as he ate, “Well, four months, depending on how you look at it.”

“Either way, that is not a very long time.”

“No, it’s not,” Jon smiled at her, “I don’t really feel equipped to help her, she just needs a loving home, with parents who can invest in her.” _She needs a father_ ; he could not help but think of how the Starks had taken him in after his mother died and treated him as if he were their own child. They changed the whole trajectory of his life and it broke him to think that Lyanna had no one to do the same for her.

“You are equipped to help her, Jon, you sell yourself short, you are a good social worker and you have what it takes to be there for this little girl,” Dany said reaching out to stroke his hair once again. He smiled at her, took her hand and kissed it.

“Thank you for believing in me,” He said. She had always believed in him, even before the accident, but somehow her confidence meant even more now. After Jon was finished eating, he picked up their dishes and stuck them in the dishwasher, then cleaned up his paper work while Dany watched him.

“Jon?”

“Yes?”

“Do we have Christmas decorations?” She asked.

“Yes, they are in a box on the top shelf in the closet in the office,” Jon said, having not thought much on decorations. Perhaps they should get a tree? That was not something he wanted to deal with tonight.

“Do you want to decorate for Christmas tonight?” Dany asked, nonchalantly. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and they would be spending Christmas Day at the Starks, did Christmas decorations at the apartment really matter?

“You can if you want,” He said, with a smile. Dany merely nodded.


	43. Family (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to escape real life for a bit, so I decided to go ahead and write this chapter! It's mostly fluffy and sweet, but it does have some plot points in it. I hope everyone enjoys it!

Many thanks to daenerysjon29 for creating this fantastic mood board to accompany this story!

* * *

 

He was tired that was all, Dany told herself as she started to get ready for bed, she knew it was irrational for her to be irritated with him, especially as she did not communicate to him how important it felt. Part of her had expected that he would just know, he usually knew so much about her. Dany sighed. She should have said something immediately to him, but she had let the moment pass, feeling a strange sense of not wanting to impose in his home. _Her home_ , she reminded herself, it was going to be her home too in a matter of days. It was not that he did not want her to decorate for Christmas, he just did not offer to help. Dany knew it was unreasonable to irritated. “ _People can not read your mind_ ,” Tyrion had said this afternoon when she told him how important it felt to her to make Christmas special, especially this year. She wanted to decorate and maybe establish some traditions for their family. When she had mentioned family, Tyrion had looked surprised but not unpleased. He merely said, “ _You seemed to have jumped from dating to family rather quickly_.” Dany had blushed, having not realized how easy that transition had been in her heart. Of course, she and Jon were a family, and hopefully they would grow a family together, whether naturally or through adoption. Jon had said he wanted it all with her. She wanted it all too.

            Dany looked down at her flat stomach as she changed into her pajamas. It would always be painful knowing she could not give him a baby, but he had said they had started the paperwork for adoption before the accident… they could always adopt. Even so, it was painful. Dany pressed her hand to her belly. Whether she gave him a baby, or they adopted, she wanted Christmas to be full of joy, traditions, and good memories. She wanted it to be different from her lonely childhood. She wanted Christmas to be important for them.

            So lost in thought was she, that Dany did not hear footsteps coming into the bedroom, until two strong arms wrapped around her bare waist and she yelped in surprise.

“Don’t do that!” She snapped, much more forcefully than she meant. Dany did not like being snuck up on, especially when she was half naked. Jon released his hold on her and drew back, running his hand through his hair in that irritating way of his.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, love,” he said with genuine remorse. He reached up to brush her cheek with his fingers, but she shrugged away. He looked hurt.

“It’s fine,” Dany said.

“Is it?” He asked, his eyes searching her face.

“Yes.”

He did not look convinced but did not press. He also made no further move to touch her, which she regretted. He had startled her, that was all, she did not like being grabbed at without warning. Dany thought he would know that, but apparently, he did not _. He was not thinking_ , she knew. Dany had not meant to stop him from touching her. She turned and looked at him as he got into his own pajamas. She wanted him to touch her.

            Jon got into bed, and even though he was silent, he sweetly held the blankets up for her so she could crawl in beside him. The air had grown suddenly thick with tension. Jon turned the lamp out, as she settled on her side facing away from him.

“Goodnight,” Dany managed to get out in a small voice. From the movement on the bed, she could tell his back was also turned to her.

“Night, love,” came his response. Dany desperately wanted to turn around, and snuggle up against him, but she felt guilty for making him feel bad about grabbing her, and she was still conflicted about how he had shrugged off her desire to decorate for Christmas. _People cannot read your mind_ , Tyrion’s voice sang at her. Never had the desire to cuddle seemed so complicated. Dany almost chuckled. Was this what love was?

            Maybe an hour had passed, and she was still fully awake when she felt Jon shift in the bed and release a sigh. He could not sleep either it seemed. He shifted again. Dany thought he was likely facing her back now, rather than the wall. All she had to do was turn around and face him. She felt him shift closer to her.

“Daenerys,” He said in that thick, northern voice of his, just before he placed his hand, gently and sweetly, on her upper arm. Dany shivered. He was the only one who ever said her full name, and he had only said it a few times that she could recall. He applied pressure to her shoulder, urging her to face him, “Can you look at me please?” His voice sounded so wounded, that Dany felt a stab in her heart. She rolled onto her back and looked up at him, though she had a hard time meeting his eyes. Jon tipped her chin up, and gently stroked her jaw with his thumb.

“I’m sorry I grabbed you from behind like that,” he said sincerely, “I was not thinking… was not thinking how that might remind you of…of… him,” Jon seemed to be wrestling with the right words, but her heart was melting just the same, “It’s been a awhile for me, you know? A while since you were dealing with these demons the first time,” He leaned in and kissed her forehead, “It’s easy for me to forget sometimes, especially now that things are so good between us, it’s easy for me to forget that you don’t remember all those years of healing, and growing in trust with me.”

“It’s alright, I was just startled is all, I was lost in thought and did not hear you come into the room,” Dany said, feeling tears prick the back of her eyes at his gentle sincerity. She reached up and stroked his bearded cheek as he leaned over her. Jon nuzzled her nose with his and kissed her softly.

“What were you thinking about?” He asked, and Dany could make just barely make out a sweet grin on his face in the dark.

“Babies….”

“Babies?” He seemed surprised.

“Well…” Dany’s voice trailed off, “Well…babies….children….family.”

Dany could see the sadness in his eyes, even in the dark.

“I’d give you a baby if I could,” He said, his hand roamed down to caress her waist. He had told her that before, and the unbearable sweetness just made her heart ache.

“I know you would,” Dany nipped at his lips, and he groaned, and kissed her deeper. She giggled when she felt his hand nudging at her thigh, “Jon?”

“hmm?” He responded just as he took to nibbling at her neck.

“Even…even,” She moaned softly as he continued his kisses down to her collarbone.

“Yes?”

“Even if…if we don’t have any…babies, I mean… we are still a family,” She whispered. Jon looked up at her from where he had unbuttoned the top few buttons on her pajama top, and even in the dark, she could see his brilliant smile.

“Aye, we are.”

 

            The next morning, Dany rose from bed, and strategically extracted herself from Jon’s arms. It was a difficult task to accomplish without waking him, as he had practically been on top of her. It had surprised her how extraordinarily fond Jon Snow was of cuddling. Dany giggled, looking back at him peacefully sleeping in the bed. He was now snuggled up next to Ghost who had taken up her vacant place. She had never really cared about cuddling before, though she could not say that she had spent much time cuddling with either Drogo or Daario. They had never cared about it, and so neither had she. Jon, though…Jon seemed to think it an essential part of their life as a couple, and she found herself slowly coming to agree with him with each time he had wrapped her in his arms and whispered sweet words to her as they fell asleep, whether they made love or not. Dany gathered up her pajama top and bottoms from across the room where Jon had apparently thrown them last night in their enthusiasm. They had definitely made love last night.

Tonight, though, Dany determined that they would make a Christmas tradition for their family.

“You up already, love?” Jon mumbled from the bed. She came and stood beside the bed, looking down at him.

“Yes, go back to sleep, you still have about an hour,” Dany whispered, and stroked a curl out of his face. His eyes were still closed but he took her hand.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

            Dany bustled around the kitchen and made oatmeal for breakfast for them. She also made hot chocolate because that seemed to be appropriate for Christmas Eve. When Jon finally came into the kitchen, he looked so much like a sleepy little boy that she had to laugh. His dark curls were sticking up in all directions, he was shirtless, and his eyes were barely open.

“You look tired,” She giggled, and came a little closer to him, reaching for his hand. He caught her around the waist and drew her to him.

“You kept me up all night with your pretty little moans,” He nipped at her lips, and she playfully smacked his arm.

“Eat your breakfast, so you can go to work, so you can come home,” Dany chided with a mischievous smile.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jon plopped down into a kitchen chair, pulling Dany with him and into his lap.

“This is not an effective way to eat breakfast,” Dany said.

“I think it is a perfectly fine way to eat breakfast,” Jon said, keeping a serious look on his face, “Thank you for breakfast by the way,” He kissed her cheek.

“Your welcome,” Dany kissed his cheek in return and hopped off his lap, which he seemed to be quite disappointed about. The look on his face made her giggle.

“When will you be home today?” Dany asked.

“If all goes according to plan, I should be home in the early part of the afternoon, on Christmas Eve we usually get done early unless there is some unforeseen emergency,” Jon explained.

“Good, because I have plans for us,” Dany said, though her boldness shrank for a moment, “Unless you are busy… I mean, I’m not going to force you too carry out my plans.”

Jon laughed, “And what kind of plans do you have for us?”

“Traditions.”

“Traditions?”

“Yes,” Dany said, resolutely, “Since we are a family…I want us to have traditions.”

Jon took her hand, “Alright.”

“I want… I want Christmas to be important,” Dany stammered, trying to offer him the same honesty that he always gave her.

“Alright,” He said, seeming puzzled.

“When I was a little girl,” Dany started, and he squeezed her hand to encourage her, “Viserys… we… we never really celebrated Christmas… we never had the whole eat a meal, open gifts…or… or decorations.”

Jon’s eyes shifted, and Dany knew that he suddenly realized what he had done the night before, “Oh, Dany…”

“No, no, it’s alright, Jon, Tyrion scolded me yesterday for expecting you to read my mind,” Dany assured him, “But its not about the decorations, it’s really not.”

Jon nodded.

“I mean, I would like to decorate with you, but what I want is for Christmas to be about being together, and about enjoying each other,” She smiled at him, “I was so lonely when I was a child, I had no one, except for an abusive older brother, who always told me that Christmas did not matter. He said it so much, that eventually I started to pretend that it didn’t matter, but it does matter, and I want it to matter for us… as… as a family.”

Dany let out a huff of breath once she was done, as if a great weight had come off her chest. Jon cupped the back of her neck in his palm, drew her too him and kissed her.

“Then tonight,” Jon said, “We will build some traditions.”

 

            That afternoon, Jon arrived home from work a little later than expected. Dany had already discovered the box of Christmas decorations stashed away in the office but bounded to the front door to greet him when she heard the door open and close. She stopped short, and nearly burst into tears, when she saw that in his hand was a small Christmas tree. With it being Christmas Eve, Dany had thought it would be too late to get any sort of tree. He looked up at her, with a laughing grin, and held up the scrawny little tree.

“It was the only one they had left unfortunately,” He said, and set it on the coffee table. Dany came to him, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him so passionately his knees nearly buckled.

“It’s perfect,” She whispered against his lips. He smiled at her.

            Several hours later, after a peaceful dinner, and a cooking disaster, after which it was determined that they would in fact only be taking drinks and ice to the Stark family Christmas, Jon and Dany began decorating the tree, and listening to Christmas music, as the sun went down. Dany caught Jon stealing looks at her, as if he was afraid, she would disappear right in front of him. His gaze was so warm, it was almost an embrace, and it melted her.

“Did you and your mother have any special traditions at Christmas time, Jon?” Dany asked. Jon looked so startled by the question that she almost regretted asking, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… if it’s too hard to talk about I understand…”

“No, no,” he whispered in response, “You just surprised me is all, no one has ever asked me that before.”

“Not even me?” Dany wondered.

“Not that I can recall,” Jon raked his hand through his hair, “Mom’s death I think is still painful to Ned, and so I never really talked about it growing up, except for maybe with Robb once or twice.”

Dany wanted to wrap her arms around him again and love him, but she also wanted him to share about his mother. He took a deep breath.

“Mom loved Christmas, I remember that much,” Jon said, “But I was only six when she died, so I don’t remember much about our traditions, except…” He trailed off with a sad smile.

“Except?”

“On Christmas Eve, she and I would pile blankets and pillows into the living room and sleep under the Christmas tree.”

The sweetness of that thought, nearly broke Dany, and she could not stop herself from coming around to his side of their tiny tree and wrapping her arms around his waist, holding him close. Dany buried her face against his chest and breathed in his scent. Jon wrapped his arms around her, and she giggled when he leaned down and smelled her hair.

“Merry Christmas, love,” he whispered.

“Merry Christmas.”

Their moment was interrupted by Jon’s phone ringing. He seemed set to ignore it, but Dany could see the name on the screen.

“Jon, it’s Davos.”

“Davos?” Both curious and concerned, Jon picked up the phone. Dany only heard one side of the conversation.

“Alright…yes… yes…” Jon listened, and then said, “I’ll be there soon.”

Dany looked up at him, confused.

“Dany, I have to go into work for a few hours, there’s been an emergency.”

“What? What happened?”

“The little girl I was telling you about last night… Lyanna…” Jon said, urgency in his voice now, “She has run away again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Jon and Lyanna have a frank discussion, and Stark Family Christmas


	44. Lyanna (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not quite have time to write Stark family Christmas today, but I figured I could go ahead and give you all this, and it ended up that this felt like the appropriate place to end this chapter anyway, so I hope no one is disappointed. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for you lovely comments! Everyone's enthusiasm really helps me stay on track and excited for this story!

Jon did not want to leave Dany alone on Christmas Eve, so he drove her to stay with Sansa until he got back, promising to pick her up as soon as he was done. Snow was falling outside.

“Jon, please be careful,” Dany said, seriously. Jon looked out at the snow.

“I will, love, I promise,” Jon kissed her then, and watched as she disappeared into Sansa’s apartment. He could not believe Lyanna was out on foot in the snow. What was the little girl thinking?

            Jon arrived at the Lyanna’s foster home just as Davos did. There was one cop there, but Jon knew others were out looking for her. The foster parents were beside themselves with worry.

“I tried to get her to join us downstairs for dinner and a Christmas movie, but she did not want too, and I did not know if it was better to encourage her to be with us, or to leave her be,” the mother sobbed. Their other foster child clung to her, clearly concerned that his mother was crying.

“We will find her,” the cop assured her, “A ten-year-old child on foot cannot have gotten far in this weather.”

Jon thought of Lyanna’s steely face. Clearly, the officer had never met this ten-year-old child.

“Where do you think she may have gone?” the cop asked, “Does she have any friends in this area?”

Jon could feel frustration welling up inside him. He wished his cop friends, Ygritte or Tormund, were here instead of this clueless young rookie, who was clearly unaware of Lyanna’s unique situation.

“She’s from the other side of town,” Jon piped up, “Any friends she may have would be there. Has anyone checked her old house?”

“There is no way a child on foot, at night, without directions, is going to get from here to there,” the cop stated after looking at the address Jon showed him, “We are setting up a perimeter around the house and will work our way outward.”

 _Ygritte, Tormund, where are you when I need you?_   Jon asked the air.

“Lyanna’s a bright little girl, and tough,” Jon said, “If she wanted to go home, she would.”

“She’s a little girl, and it’s snowing,” the foster father said, concern evident on his face, but he was clearly out of his depth. Jon raked both his hands through his hair in frustration. Protocol said that he was supposed to stay here and allow the police to handle this, but he could not stay cooped up here when one of his kids was in danger. It was not in his nature.

“Davos,” Jon pulled the older man aside, “I am driving over to her old neighborhood…I know it is unlikely that she could have made it so far, but I have to check.”

Davos only patted his shoulder and nodded.

 

            Jon tried not to speed toward the address in Lyanna’s file. No good would come of him getting into a careless accident on the snowy roads. He kept his eyes open for any glimpse of her walking on the roadside but saw nothing. A part of him was not surprised, however, when he pulled his car into the drive of the abandoned house to see a little person huddled on the front porch steps. How she had managed to make it all the way over here in the snow, alone, was beyond him. Jon got out of the car not particularly sure how he should react. He was angry, but he was relieved. He wanted to shout but he also just wanted to wrap her up in a blanket and keep her safe. What would Ned Stark do? Jon asked himself, and then slowly approached the steps and sat down beside her. He took off his own coat and draped it around her.

“This your house?” Jon asked, not sure what to say.

“You know its my house,” Lyanna stated, but the steel she had in her voice yesterday was not present tonight.

“Aye, I know,” Jon said.

“The General would be mad,” she commented. Jon was unsure what she meant by that but did not press.

“The General? Your grandfather?”

Lyanna nodded but said nothing else.

“You cold?” Jon asked after a moment of silence.

“No,” She said stubbornly.

“Well, I am,” Jon chuckled, “Lets get into the car.”

Lyanna did not protest, much to his surprise, and followed him calmly to the car. Jon turned up the heat, as even though she said was not cold he could hear her teeth chattering.

“Are you hurt anywhere?” Jon asked, wanting to cover all the physical bases before diving into whatever confrontation needed to happen as they drove back toward the foster home.

“No,” Lyanna said flatly. _What would Ned say in this moment?_

To his surprise, Lyanna continued, “The General and I took care of each other. He taught me how to take care of myself.”

“And running off in the snow was taking care of yourself?” Jon tried to keep his voice calm and even.

“I’m not a child,” Lyanna insisted.

“But you are a child, Lyanna,” Jon stated.

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her glaring at him. Thinking of the tone Ned always used when they got into trouble, Jon continued, firm but kind.

“What would you have done if we could not find you?”

Lyanna was silent in the face of this inquiry.

“Lyanna, what if I had not gotten to you, and you could not make it home?”

 _Home_ was the wrong word. Jon inwardly cursed at himself.

“I don’t have a home.”

“You do.”

“I don’t.”

“Have any of your foster parents been unkind to you?”

“No, they are nice enough.”

“They want to give you a home.”

“I’ve been to three foster homes in a month,” Lyanna said simply.

Jon tried to keep his voice gentle, “Lyanna, if I can’t get you to stay at a foster home, then my bosses are going to decide that you have to go to a group home.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter,” Jon pulled the car over so that he could focus his attention on her, “It does matter.”

“No, it doesn’t!” Lyanna snapped back, fire flashing briefly in her eyes before going cold again.

“I know that nothing that has happened to you in the last few months has been fair,” Jon said softly, “And I am sorry for that, I wish I could make it right for you.”

She said nothing, simply looked straight out the front window.

“I want to help you, Lyanna, I don’t want you to feel like you are alone in the world.”

“But I am though,” She said it as if it were the most obvious fact in the world. Jon broke inside.

“I know you don’t know me well yet, but I promise you,” Jon began, “You are not alone, I am going to fight for you.”

“And what if I want to be alone?”

Jon tried not to flinch at the coldness in her tone, “Then I will fight for you anyway.”

Lyanna was silent for a moment before asking, “When will they move me to a group home?”

Jon tried not to be frustrated. He knew she was hurting, and he knew she needed an outlet for her grief, but it was going to take time. He was a patient man, but he was not sure how much time they were going to be allowed.

“I am going to do everything in my power to keep you in a foster home,” Jon said, “But I won’t lie to you… the fact that you have run from three homes, may have taken that power out of my hands. But I will do everything I can, can you try to trust me?”

Lyanna pursed her lips and looked utterly annoyed, but to his surprise she nodded.

 

            When they arrived back at the foster home, Lyanna stoically marched herself back up to her room, seeming unable to make eye contact with any of the adults. Jon and Davos and the cops went over all the paper work with the foster parents, and Jon filled out his own paperwork. It was well after midnight when all the formalities had finally been taken care of and Jon and Davos wished everyone a goodnight. Jon told the foster mother to call him if they needed anything at any time, in the next few days. Jon and Davos met back at the office to drop off all their paper work and to have a quick debrief.

“Well, Merry Christmas, Lad,” Davos said, though his voice was solemn. Jon gave him an exhausted half smile.

“Do you think she is going to stay with them?” Jon asked.

“I can’t be sure, but you were the one who found her and talked to her, what did she say?”

Jon gave Davos a brief overview of what they had discussed in the car.

“She just seemed so…so resigned to everything, so hopeless,” Jon said, feeling genuine grief for the little girl’s losses. Davos nodded.

“I am afraid that powers higher than the two of us, may decide that she needs to be in a group home,” Davos said.

“She does not need to be in a group home, she needs to be in a foster home with individualized care,” Jon stated firmly. Detaching a child like Lyanna from parent-figures and emotional care could be catastrophic for her, in his opinion, she was already suffering through to much on her own.

“Make sure to state that in your report, I am fighting to keep her in a foster home, just as you are,” Davos assured him.

“Has there been any word on her father?” Jon asked.

“Not yet, but we are still trying to locate him.”

Jon nodded. Davos patted his arm.

“Go home, Jon.”

Jon yawned and nodded again.

 

            Jon got to the front door of Sansa’s apartment and texted Dany to let her know he was there; he was so tired he could barely see straight. Dany appeared a moment later, in her warm winter pajamas, her beautiful hair loose and disheveled. She looked warm and inviting and sweet, after his long night. Dany did not say anything, she merely took him by the hand and pulled him down the hall to her bedroom, that she would be vacating in a matter of days. Somehow, she seemed to know how his night had went without even asking as she gently and quietly helped him undress. She gave him a tender smile, as the last of his clothes fell to the floor. Jon cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly, feeling tears of both physical and emotional exhaustion pool in his eyes. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held onto him. They laid down on the bed together, on their sides facing each other. She stroked his beard. He ran his thumb along her collar bone. Slowly, she shimmied out of her own clothes. Jon gave her a gentle smile, as he remained unmoving, and just watched her. When she was completely bare, Dany laid down again on her side, but this time she pressed up against him until their bodies were flush against each other. Dany pulled the blankets up around them, so they would stay warm, then she wrapped her arms around him and just held him. He responded by wrapping his arms around her and burying his face against her hair. Dany’s hands moved up and down his spine, comforting and soothing, and he held onto her a little tighter. He gave her another gentle kiss and felt her drape her leg over his hip. Jon kneaded her leg with his hand, and stroked her bottom, pulling her hips flush against his. Dany was nearly panting against his mouth, as he kissed her again.

“I love you,” she whispered. Jon held her close and kissed her again.

“I love you too,” He said, his voice deep with emotion, and he heard her emit a soft gasp as he slipped inside her. As they clung to each other, Jon suddenly felt the need to re-affirm the desires she had expressed both last night and this morning, and so he softly assured her, “We’re a family.”


	45. Christmas (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your comments! They encourage me to keep going! I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

They needed to get up. Dany could hear Sansa already rustling around in the kitchen, getting prepared to go to the Starks for the day. Dany stroked Jon’s hair where his head was pillowed atop her chest. She released soft giggles when every so often he would nuzzle a kiss to her bare breast. They had been mostly quiet, but Jon had begun to tell her about his night last night.

“She walked all the way over there all alone?” Dany asked, after he told her how he found Lyanna sitting on the steps of her old, abandon home. Jon nodded against her.

“I did not know what to say,” Jon confessed, “I was so scared for her… after I found her I wanted to shout at her, she could have frozen to death out there all alone,” Jon sighed, “But then I saw her face, and how hopeless she looked, and I just wanted to bundle her up and take her somewhere where she could feel safe and wanted, somewhere she could be a child again.”

Dany smiled softly, threading her fingers through his hair to massage his scalp, as he finished telling her about the night. Dany sighed softly, feeling her own heart moved by Lyanna’s story, “You are a good social worker, Jon.”

“I am afraid that they are going to put her in a group home after Christmas, I told her I would fight for her, but there may be nothing I can do about it,” Jon confessed. His gentle heart could have moved her to tears.

“You are fighting for her,” Dany reassured him, “Its not your fault if your bosses take that decision out of your hands.”

“I know, I just wish I could do more, I have not had her case long enough to anticipate everything she needs, but I know putting her in a group home before getting her the emotional care and attention she needs will be a mistake,” Jon said. Dany could tell he was frustrated and wished she could make it better for him.

“We need to get up, I suppose,” Jon said softly, placing another gentle kiss between her breasts before pulling himself up. Dany grinned at him, and he took her hand and helped her up off the bed.

 

            Dany smiled as they pulled up in front of the big house. She could hear Christmas music echoing into the yard. It appeared that Uncle Benjen and Bran had already arrived, as had Arya and Gendry. Naturally, Robb was running late, no doubt while Margaery scolded him to move faster. Sansa, when they had left her apartment this morning, had mysteriously said she would be along eventually. They let Ghost bound through the yard, and Dany laughed as the big white dog leapt through a pile of snow on the side of the walk way.

“Ghost!” Jon called, “I can’t take you inside if you are drenched in snow!” Jon laughed and grabbed the dog and hustled him inside. Dany desperately wished she could remember all the four Christmases she had spent here with Jon and the Starks, but she knew it did no good to dwell too long on something she could not change. She had to move forward. In many ways, she felt like in the last couple of weeks, she had gained a different perspective on life, a perspective she would not have had if it had not been for the accident. Tyrion told her a few weeks ago to look for things in life she could be grateful for, and Dany knew that she was grateful for this life she and Jon had created and were still creating together. His family was so different from any family she had ever known, and the way they loved and protected each other was changing her whole perspective of what a family was meant to be, and what a family could be with the proper love and care. Dany glanced over at Jon as he opened the door and smiled.

            The house was raucous, as the Stark house often was when all of the children descended upon it. Catelyn was in her element, making a feast worthy of kings, and Ned and Benjen set the table for her. Nine-year-old Rickon threw himself into Jon’s arms. Dany had to laugh, as Jon wrestled him to the ground and Ghost joined in to lick the little boy in the face.

“I yield, I yield!” Rickon squealed as Jon tickled him. He pulled his cousin off the floor, and Rickon turned to Dany and gave her a much gentler hug.

“Dany, can you and Jon and Ghost stay the night?” Rickon asked, “Please?”

“Don’t let him guilt you, he’s been trying to get everyone to stay the night,” Arya appeared from the living room.

“Bran and Uncle Benjen are staying, Rick,” Jon laughed and ruffled the boy’s hair.

“I know, but Uncle Benjen is a grown up, and Bran only wants to read books now,” Rickon said with a solemn face that made Dany giggle.

“I think all of us _children_ should go see if Aunt Cat needs help,” Jon laughed.

“Mom told me to leave the kitchen,” Rickon informed them.

“And why did she say that?” Jon asked. Dany smiled.

“She said my hands were into too many things,” Rickon seemed puzzled by this but the three adults standing with him laughed. Arya was about to hustle Rickon back into the living room to play a game when the front door opened again, and Sansa’s beautiful red-head appeared, and behind her stood Podrick Payne. Dany was shocked, but Jon seemed to be unphased. Sansa had been so evasive about her relationship with Podrick, even though no one was fooled, that Dany had been unsure that the relationship would last, and yet here he stood. Podrick shifted on his feet, looking dreadfully uncomfortable. Rickon came and glared up at him.

“Pod, what are you doing here? Doesn’t your mother want you for Christmas?” The little boy demanded to know. Pod chuckled uncomfortably, and Dany saw Jon’s mouth twitch with a smile.

“Rickon, shut up,” Sansa huffed, “Pod is my boyfriend.”

“Pod is your boyfriend?”

“Yes, Pod is my boyfriend,” Sansa’s confidence made Dany smile.

“Like Gendry is Arya’s boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Sansa confirmed, impatiently.

“Are you going to get married?” Rickon asked, and Pod’s face turned beat red. Taking pity on the poor man, Jon scooped Rickon off the ground and threw him over his shoulder.

“Wasn’t Arya setting up a game for you in the living room?”

“Is Arya going to marry Gendry?” Rickon asked with an uproarious laugh.

“What has gotten into you?” Jon asked and Dany laughed.

“Marge was over yesterday talking about wedding plans, and so now I’m afraid he has wedding fever,” Catelyn who had just appeared in the entry way said with a chuckle, “Come in everyone, and get washed up if you need too… Podrick it’s good to see you.”

“Thank you for having me, Mrs. Stark,” Podrick said with the utmost politeness. Arya grunted with a mocking laugh, and Jon gave her a pointed look. Catelyn patted Pod’s cheek, affectionately.

“You can call me Cat, just like Gendry and Marge do,” Catelyn said gently, and Podrick nodded and gave her a shy grin. Dany still had not determined if she was supposed to call her Cat or Aunt Cat like Jon did, and once again she felt that nagging sense of uncertainty, growing up having never been taught how to act and behave in a normal, healthy family.

            Robb and Marge appeared not long after and Robb eyed Podrick suspiciously, even though Dany knew the two men were actually quite good friends. Podrick looked somewhat terror stricken by Robb’s glares, but managed to remain calm and even boldly held Sansa’s hand in front of him.

“This is happening much to quickly,” Robb stated to Jon and Dany. Returning from “washing-up” as Aunt Cat had said, they were in the hallway as if Robb was intent on hatching some kind of back alley conspiracy.

“What do you mean?” Dany asked, trying not to mock his serious tone.

“Robb’s worried about Sansa and Pod,” Jon explained and gave Robb a hard look, “Even though he knows very well that Pod is a good man.”

 _A good man_ , that was high praise coming from Jon.

“We can save giving him a hard time for another day, I don’t want Sansa to be embarrassed,” Jon said, and Robb looked frustrated, “I’ve been given strict instructions to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

Dany was surprised at Jon’s frankness.

“Who gave you strict instructions?”

“Sansa came over to see me a few days ago and told me to make you sure did not say anything to scare Pod off,” Jon said.

“You knew she was bringing him?” Robb asked incredulously.

“You’ve accepted Gendry, I think you will manage to accept Pod, he is your friend after all,” Jon said, obviously trying to keep his tone light.

“Well…Arya…well Arya is different,” Robb said.

“Don’t say anything to Sansa or Pod,” Jon insisted, much more seriously this time. Dany was suddenly very confused, how was Arya bringing a boy home different than Sansa?

“Fine,” Robb whispered and stalked back into the living room. Dany turned to Jon.

“I don’t understand,” She started trying to keep her voice low. Jon considered her for a moment.

“Sansa hasn’t brought anyone home since Harry…” His voice trailed off as realization seemed to dawn on him, “Did she not tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Dany asked, feeling suddenly very uncomfortable, “Who is Harry?” Jon took her hand and pulled her into one of the empty bedrooms and shut the door.

“I thought she might have told you, since you were the first one she told about Pod,” Jon said, starting to run his hand through his hair before realizing he had it pulled back.

“I suppose she didn’t,” Dany said, feeling embarrassed that she did not seem to know a crucial piece of information regarding one of her best friends, and even more embarrassed over the fact that she had never even thought to ask why Sansa had been so hesitant and secretive about Podrick.

“You know… well, I would think that you know that Sansa has not always had the most reliable taste in men,” Jon said. Dany nodded, she knew Sansa had dated a jerk or two in high school, and that was why she had not dated much at all in Kings Landing, but Dany still seemed to be missing something.

“A little over a year ago, Sansa was in a serious relationship with a man named Harry Hardyng,” Jon explained, “It’s really not my story to tell, you should probably ask her, but long story short, it ended poorly, and she and Robb had something of a falling out over it.”

“Robb and Sansa had a falling out?” Dany was surprised. Sansa had always been closest to Robb out of all of her siblings.

“She does not like to talk about it, and Robb needs to learn to keep his mouth shut,” Jon said, “I did not realize Sansa was still so sensitive about it until a week or so ago, I teased her about Pod, and she burst into tears.”

Dany felt shame wash over her. She did not know much about her friends’ lives in the missing years. Missandei had gotten married, and now she was finding out that Sansa had a bad relationship during that time. She had been so consumed with her own life and how those missing memories affected her and Jon, she had not taken the time to consider how much her two best friends, Sansa and Missandei, may have changed in those four years.

“Pod has been sweet on Sansa since high school, but his timing had always been off, and I, for one, am happy they are together, Pod’s a good man,” Jon said, taking her hand once again and opening the door, “And I think Robb would be happy too, if he would stop judging Sansa’s present choices, by her past. She’s grown and learned a lot.”

Dany nodded, and realized she needed to get to know Sansa all over again.

 

            Dinner and gift opening were riotous affairs, and Dany did not think she had laughed so much in years, though perhaps she had always laughed like this with the Starks. She was happy here. She was happy with Jon. As far as gifts, she and Jon had decided to keep things simple this year, which she was thankful for, as she was not sure she was confident enough to be able to pick out a meaningful gift for him, and did not want to sour Christmas by reminding each other about how much she still had to learn about him. He had gotten her a beautiful, simple rose gold necklace with a charm at the end. She had gotten him a soft woolen sweater to replace the one that he often wore that was in tatters. He was sitting at her feet now like he always did in settings like this, and she felt her heart swell with love for him. He was chatting with Benjen about the North, and everyone else seemed contented in each other’s company. This was the type of Christmas she had always longed for as a child.

“Dany,” Rickon, with a photo album in his hands, tried to crawl over Jon and into Dany’s lap. Jon laughed and grabbed him and put him back on the floor.

“You are too big to be sitting on Dany’s lap,” Cat scolded the little boy, who looked a little wounded by that.

“Look how little she is… you are half as big as she is,” Jon teased, and Dany loved how he soothed the little boy’s feelings.

“I guess I am, I am almost a grown man,” Rickon said, and the whole room laughed.

“What?” Rickon was dumbfounded, “I just wanted to show her the picture book.”

“I did tell him, you might like to see the pictures,” Cat confessed with a grin.

“Come sit beside me then,” Dany scooted over and made room for Rickon to sit next to her. Dany realized he had something that must have been the Stark family photo album. Rickon flipped pages in the book he had laid across their laps and attempted to explain the stories behind each picture. Dany could tell from the reactions of the others in the room that some of the stories may or may not have been made up by the little boy. The first page or two were mostly just Ned and Cat’s wedding pictures. Children began to appear in the pages that followed. Rickon turned the page again.

“And that’s Jon and his mommy,” Rickon said softly, and the room fell quiet for a moment. Dany studied the picture of what appeared to be a little Jon of 3 or 4 years old, and a beautiful woman with dark hair and dark eyes, and the kindest smile, that reminded her of Jon. Dany reached down and toyed with the ends of Jon’s hair caressing the back of his neck but continued to address Rickon.

“She seems like a nice lady, I wish I could have known her,” Dany said, and Jon casually reached up and took her hand.

Rickon continued to flip through the pages, and Dany had to laugh at some of the outrageous stories he came up with, and Arya occasionally chimed in to correct him. They finally reached toward the end of the photo album, and Dany could tell these pictures must be of Catelyn when she was pregnant with Rickon.

“I’m in mom’s stomach here,” He confirmed, and then flipped the page, “And this one is of me out of mom’s stomach, but no one will tell me how I got out.” Catelyn and Ned visibly groaned. Dany suppressed a giggle, his innocence was endearing, but she was not prepared for what came out of his mouth next.

“Are you and Jon going to have a baby, Dany?”

The whole room seemed to let out an audible gasp, and then fell so silent that she could have heard a pin drop.

“Rickon Stark!” Catelyn snapped, “What have I told you about asking people things that were none of your business?”

“That I shouldn’t,” Rickon said seriously, and Dany had to suppress a giggle, “But I want a cousin to play with, so I thought it would be my business to ask.”

The whole room looked so horrified that Dany had to laugh then, and after a tense moment of silence, Jon too began to laugh and the tension in the room evaporated. Ned hustled Rickon into the kitchen to help him get dessert ready for everyone, and Catelyn took the photo album to place it back on the mantel.

“I’m so sorry, Dany, I don’t know where that child gets these things into his head,” Catelyn apologized. Dany gave her a smile.

“It’s alright, Aunt Cat,” Dany said, then realized what she had called her, and blushed. Catelyn leaned down and placed a kiss atop her head. Dany felt tears sting her eyes… good tears, happy tears. Jon squeezed her hand.

            Dany volunteered to wash up the dishes after dessert while everyone else cleared the table. As she washed, she looked out the window and saw Jon on his phone pacing in the backyard, the only person it could be was Davos. Dany hoped Lyanna had stayed put for Christmas, and she furthered hoped they were working out a way to keep her in foster care.

“He seems a bit off today,” Ned’s voice startled her as he appeared beside her and looked out the window to where Jon was pacing.

“He’s been working on a tough case at work this week, and he was out most of the night dealing with the case last night,” Dany explained.

“He’s good at what he does,” Ned said.

“Yes,” Dany agreed. She had not spent much time talking to Ned since her accident, but she knew he and Jon had a special relationship. Jon’s father had never been in the picture, and she knew Jon thought of Ned as a father, even before his mother passed. Ned had always been there for him, “He genuinely cares for his kids, he loves them and wants what’s best for them.”

Ned nodded, and Dany was suddenly struck with how similar Jon and Ned were, they were more similar than even Robb and Ned.

“He really struggled after his military career fell apart,” Ned said, “but once he started working toward becoming a social worker, and then meeting you, he really came into his own.”

“I think he is taking this case hard,” Dany confessed, “The child is an orphan, she doesn’t have anybody.”

Ned nodded again.

“I wish there was more we could to do for her,” Dany said. She had not met Lyanna but thinking about a child with no home and no family, sitting out in the snow on Christmas Eve broke her.

“You and Jon were always a good a match,” Ned said with a smile, “You both have always lived your lives to help people, I have no doubt that he will come up with some way to help this child, and I know you are always there to love and support him.”

Dany smiled. They would find a way to help Lyanna. _Together_ , she determined.

 

            When she and Jon got home that night, they took Ghost for a quick walk before settling onto their sofa, with hot chocolate, and watched the lights of their scrawny Christmas tree twinkle in the dark.

“I love your family,” Dany said softly to him. Jon stroked her hair.

“They love you too, you know?” There was a smile in his voice. Dany nodded.

“I wish I had known your mother,” Dany said.

“She would have loved you too,” said Jon. Jon shifted, and Dany saw him reach under the end-table and pull up a small package.

“I know we said, we wanted to keep gifts simple this year,” He started as he handed her the package. Dany took it with tentative hands, it was a small square, “But you can think of this more as a replacement gift for something I gave you a long time ago, rather than a Christmas gift.”

Slowly, Dany opened the package to reveal a wooden jewelry box, with intricately detailed carvings. She gasped. It was a little smaller than the first one he gave her, but infinitely more beautiful and complex. His carving skills had grown since he had given her the first one.

“It’s not the same as the first one…” He trailed off.

“It’s better,” Dany threw her arms around him, and kissed him, sweetly and passionately.

“I know you don’t remember me saying it, but I’ve been telling you I’d replace the first one since it got lost,” Jon said, “And obviously I never did, never got around to it.”

“I love it,” Dany kissed him again.

“I’m glad,” He whispered. Jon stroked her back as she held him, and Dany pressed her lips to his, and then his cheek and then his neck, and inhaled his scent.

“I hope what Rickon said today, did not upset you,” Jon suddenly said. Dany chuckled.

“No, I’m not upset, he’s just kid, he doesn’t understand,” Dany said, “He’s just lonely for other children at family gatherings.”

“Yes.”

“One day, he will have a little cousin to play with,” Dany said confidently, and kissed Jon again, “Whether we adopt,” Dany nipped at his neck, and took his hand with a mischievous grin and placed it on her thigh, “Or have one the old fashioned way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: A New Year


	46. Beginnings (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a little morsel of a chapter that I wrote most of before I watched the episode tonight. I really hope everyone enjoys it. 
> 
> Also, on a side note, I know I have not spent as much time on Dany's memory problem in these last couple of chapter and I just wanted to assure everyone that I have not forgotten it, but I wanted their first few weeks together to feel sort of like a honeymoon period. Don't worry....complications and angst are always around the corner.

Jon entered the group home that Lyanna now lived in. Authorities higher than him had placed her here against both his and Davos’ recommendations. It was not a bad place, but he felt it was not what Lyanna needed. She was placed here about two days after Christmas, which was a little over a week ago. Jon had seen her four times since she moved. He usually only saw his clients once a week, but Davos and he, in consultation with the other social workers in their office, had decided that he should see her twice a week until she got more settled.

Jon found her sitting on the back-porch steps alone. _At least she is wearing a coat_ , Jon thought sadly. He had found her in this exact spot the last time he come to visit except she had been sitting out in the cold without her coat. He had railed at the staff for letting her go outside without her coat, but they insisted she must have taken it off when she went out and they had not known. No one seemed to know how she felt about the group home as she said very little, her acid tongue only making an appearance when her solitude was encroached upon. Jon had been on the receiving end of her ire more than once, but he tried not to take it personally. Otherwise, she had not complained. Lyanna was shrinking further into herself just as Jon feared that she would, and it was breaking his heart.

He sat down beside her on the steps. She did not look up at him, nor acknowledge his presence. His last visit had been much the same, Lyanna had sat there, and he had asked questions and she had given him evasive, monosyllabic replies.

“How are you?” Jon asked. He studied her face, she had dark circles under her eyes as if she had not slept in days.

“Fine.”

“Aren’t you cold out here?”

“Why? Are you?” She said flatly. Jon tried to give her a smile, but she did not look at him.

“School starts in a few days,” Jon tried.

“So?”

“How do you feel about school?” Jon asked. She was starting school in a new district, which had also been against Jon’s wishes. By taking her out of her old school, they were cutting her off from any friends she may have had there. She had effectively lost her entire family, and now all her friends, in less then five months.

“School is school,” Lyanna responded.

“Did you like school before?”

“School was school,” Lyanna still had not looked at him, which troubled him deeply.

“I heard you spoke with the counselor yesterday?” Davos had sent a grief care counselor to the group home at Jon’s request in hopes that Lyanna might be able to talk to her.

“She was an idiot,” Lyanna said simply.

“And why was that?”

“She wanted me to cry,” there was no emotion in Lyanna’s voice.

“Would that be so bad?” Jon asked, giving her another smile, hoping she would look at him.

“The General always said it doesn’t do any good to cry about things that we can’t change.”

Jon held his breath and took a risk, “What did your mother think about that?”

“I don’t want to talk about my mother,” Lyanna snapped. Jon let a few minutes of silence pass.

“I did not like to talk about my mother either,” Jon finally said, “I was only six when she died, but I was afraid if I talked about her it would only make me sadder, or weaker somehow.”

He saw Lyanna glance at him for the first time.

“I’m not crying for you either, if that is what you are hopping for.”

Jon chuckled, “No, I don’t need you to cry for me,” He looked over at her and he thought he may have seen one corner of her mouth twitch in a smile, but it was gone in a flash.

“Good, because I’m not.”

Silence again. Jon searched for words. Lyanna was one of the saddest children he had ever met, and he desperately wanted to see her smile. Jon glanced around the yard, searching for words, searching for anything that might reach her. _What would Ned Stark do_? Jon’s eyes landed on a soccer ball. Raising himself off the steps, he went over to the ball and gave it a gentle kick toward Lyanna. She looked up at him, her face stone cold.

“I have not played soccer in a long time,” Jon said, “Could you kick it back to me?” She picked it up and threw it back to him but did not stand. Jon smiled encouragingly and kicked it toward her again.

“Sorry,” He said, “My aim is a bit off.”

She rolled her eyes clearly not believing him. She picked the ball up again and threw it back to him. He kicked it to her again.

“I know what you’re doing,” Lyanna said with a huff, but to his surprise she stood and kicked it back to him. Jon kicked it to her and this time she chased after it when she missed it. It was a small step, but it was movement, breaking the strange stalemate they had been in for the last week and a half. She kicked it hard and nailed him in the stomach, which nearly winded him, but he laughed it off. Her mouth twitched in a smile that she quickly hid. They kicked the ball back and forth a couple of times.

“I wish my dog Ghost was here, he loves to play soccer,” Jon said, with a laugh. Lyanna’s eyes lit up for a moment, then her face completely crashed again.

“You have a dog?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“I had a dog.”

“You did?” This was new information to him. She kicked the ball back toward him, but this time she sat back down on the steps. Jon came and crouched down in front of her, hoping he was not losing her again.

“His name was Bear,” Lyanna’s icy voice cracked, “They took him away from me after the General died, the first foster home would not allow dogs.”

She met his eyes then, and he thought tears may have been forming, but she quickly schooled her features, and the steel in her eyes returned. Jon was surprised, however, to feel tears forming in his own eyes, and he too had to quickly regain control of his emotions. Lyanna had had everything of comfort taken from her it seemed, and there was nothing either of them could do about it.

 

           

Jon walked into the apartment after work and was nearly tackled by Ghost, before he noticed Missandei sitting on the sofa, looking heavily pregnant and dreadfully uncomfortable. The living room was in disarray, which made him chuckle. Dany was apparently up to something, and it seemed Missandei had been wrangled in to help her or provide moral support.

“She’s in the office,” Missandei informed him with a smile as she tried to get up off the couch but seemed prevented by her swollen baby belly. Jon came to her and took her hands and helped her up, with a chuckle.

“Thank you.”

“How much longer do you have?” Jon asked, making sure she was steady on her feet before letting go of her elbow.

“A few months, not so long now,” Missandei smiled softly and stroked her belly.

“Excited?”

“Ready for it to be over,” Missandei laughed.

“I’m sure.”

“I’m not sure what she is up too back there right now,” Missandei said, and then called out to Dany, “Dany, I’m leaving! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Alright! Thanks for your help today!” Called Dany’s almost muffled voice. Missandei kissed Jon’s cheek and left. He walked down the hall to the office and saw that Dany had apparently rearranged it, and on the desk was her laptop, open to a web article entitled, _Requirements for Becoming A Foster Home_. Jon was puzzled but could not ask her as she was not in the office. He went into the bedroom, and she was not there either. She was in the bathroom. He opened the door to talk to her, but she let out a squeal and he was suddenly hit in the face with a roll of toilet paper.

“Shut the door!” She shouted. Jon hurriedly did as she instructed, completely thrown off by her reaction. They had made love almost every night since returning from their vacation, and had even taken some showers together, why she was suddenly private about the bathroom was beyond him. Jon chuckled, she had not been private about it before the accident, this was a new development. Shaking his head and blushing in embarrassment, he walked back to the living room and wrestled with Ghost.

            Dany appeared a little while later, looking flustered. She glared at him with a playful glint in her eye, her hands on her hips.

“What is wrong with you?”

“What?” He laughed.

“I was… I was….” Dany stumbled over her words.

“You were what?” Jon teased, seeing if she would actually tell him.

“I was taking a shit, if you must know, though I’m sure you got an eye full,” She snapped, and Jon laughed so hard tears came to his eyes, and she huffed, “I am not amused, whatever possessed you to open the door?”

“I was just going to talk to you, I didn’t think you’d care,” Jon laughed.

“Well, I care.”

“I’m sorry, love, it just seems silly… considering….” As he pointed at the two of them, trying to convey his meaning.

“Considering what, Jon Snow?”

“Well….”

Dany rolled her eyes and grinned at him, before she started to pick up the mess in the living room. Jon started to help her.

“You don’t have to do anything, Jon,” Dany said, “I made the mess.”

Jon continued to help her despite her protest.

“I hope you don’t mind,” She turned him then, a shy look on her face, “I rearranged the office.” Jon took her hand and kissed it.

“Of course, I don’t mind,” He said, “You can rearrange anything you want in the house, love, it’s your house too.”

She stood on her tip toes and kissed him. They walked into their little office space, and Jon realized that she seemed to be attempting to make room for something in here.

“I am so ready to go back to school and work,” she said, “I feel like I’m going stir crazy with boredom.”

Jon chuckled, and pointed to her computer, “Interesting reading?”

Dany quickly shut the computer lid, as if to keep him from seeing, “I was just… I was just looking into options.” She looked she and embarrassed and so he wrapped his arm around her waist.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, what you read is your business,” Jon said.

“Well, I want it to be your business too,” She said.

“Alright.”

“We have this extra room.”

“Yes?”

“I think we could use it more productively,” Dany said, in that practical voice that she got when she was planning something.

“I take it you have plans?” Jon asked with a grin.

“Possibly.”

“Care to share?”

Dany nipped his lips, “Not quite yet.”

 

 

            That night Jon looked up at her straddling his hips. Their gazes were locked together. Her small hands were braced against his chest, a she slowly moved over him. Jon groaned, resisting the natural urge to buck up into her. Instead he ran his hands up her thighs, kneaded her hips, and let one hand dip between her legs to stroke her. She was shaking. Jon tried to keep their movements steady and rhythmic. Dany bit her lip, and collapsed against his chest with a passionate wail, as she buried her face against his neck. Jon stroked her back, gently, and soothingly, as he still moved slowly inside her. She whimpered softly against his neck.

“You alright, love?” He asked in a choked voice, stilling his movements within her but continuing to stroke her bare back. Dany nodded against his neck, and he felt her place a gentle kiss there.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered, a shaky voice, thick with emotion. With tenderness and care, Jon wrapped one arm around her shoulders, and one around her waist, cradling her to him as he rolled them over. His body blanketed hers now. Dany wrapped her legs around his waist and sweetly pressed her face against his chest. She whimpered softly, and Jon was undone. He collapsed atop her but tried to be mindful not to crush her. They laid together unmoving for several minutes, the air between them thick with heat and emotion. Jon lifted his head a little to look at her and fear seized him when he saw her eyes were fixed on the wall on the other side of the room and there were tears in them.

“Dany?” He whispered and stroked her cheek to urge her to look at him. She immediately turned her tearful eyes to him. He noticed that she winced as he pulled out of her. He cupped her cheek and smoothed back some of her sweaty hair.

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”

Dany shook her head, and then smiled, big, and beautiful and real. He adjusted his position to lay beside her and soothingly stroked her stomach. He studied her face looking for signs of distress, but he saw none. He was concerned but she smiled at him again.

“I’m sorry,” She giggled softly, her voice barely a whisper, “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

Jon smiled, and gently petted her between her legs, trying to keep his touches gentle and grounding.

“You had me worried there for a moment,” He whispered, “When your…” he almost said _wife_ , but stopped himself just in time, “When the woman you love starts crying in bed, it can be easily misconstrued,” He chuckled, trying to lighten the moment, not wanting her to feel embarrassed to express emotion in front of him. She giggled sweetly.

“You were perfect, you are perfect,” She assured him, her voice still soft and quiet, “I do feel a little tender down there though,” She confessed with a blush. Jon had noticed that tenderness tonight. She must have seen his fearful look because she was quick to laugh.

“We have been going at it like rabbits for almost a month.”

The peaceful calm was broken by Jon’s uproarious laughter.

“Like rabbits?” He asked, not quite believing such a comparison came out of her pretty mouth. She laughed again and urged him to let her up so she could go to the bathroom. He playfully rolled his eyes, when he heard the lock click. He stared up at the ceiling and waited for her to return. Dany appeared a moment later and got back in bed with him and snuggled up against his chest. Jon wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

“Are you sure you are alright?”

Dany laughed, “Yes… I just… I got a little emotional that’s all,” She reached up and smoothed a finger over his worry lines, “You worry too much, you’re going to have grey hair and wrinkles before your time.”

Jon kissed her forehead again, “Go to sleep, love.”

Rarely in his life, had Jon felt so content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry but it may be some time before I can update again, as I need to both catch up on some real life work and recover from tonight's episode. The regularly scheduled fluff and angst will return as soon as I can! Thank you all so much for your comments, they keep me going!


	47. Plots (Dany)

Dany startled when she heard Jon come into the apartment and slam the door. She could hear him cursing, until Ghost barked at him as if to tell him to stop. Sitting at the kitchen table with her first week of homework sprawled out in front of her, she listened to Jon stalking around the living room before he appeared in the kitchen. She had never seen him look so angry. Should she ask him what was wrong, or wait for him to volunteer the information? Jon sat down with a huff at the kitchen table, seeming to attempt to regain composure.

“How was school?” He asked, though his voice was still tense.

“It was fine,” Dany said in a small voice, instinctively trying to measure how angry he was and to whom this anger was directed. Jon sighed. She wanted to take his hand but did not know if that would be helpful or not when he was so obviously frustrated.

“Is something wrong, Jon?” Dany finally asked, though her voice was hesitant and unsure.

“It’s hard for me to understand, it really is,” Jon began his voice escalating as he raked a hand through his hair, “How is it that everyone I speak to seems to think Lyanna’s ‘behavioral’ problems will prevent her from going back into foster care, or from being adopted?” Jon stood and paced the kitchen, “She doesn’t have behavioral problems, the child is grieving her family! She’s a ten-year-old child who does not know how to cope with that level of emotion!” Jon was nearly shouting now, and Dany could not remember ever seeing him so worked up, “She needs help, not a note in her fucking file!” Jon paused in his pacing and considered her for a moment, seeming to realize how infuriated he had become, possibly by the look she knew had been on her face. He sat back down in his chair.

“Is there any word on her father?” Dany asked quietly.

“Not yet, and she can’t be officially adopted until we find him because of the legal constraints of parental rights in Westeros,” Jon hung his head, looking defeated, “I am dumbfounded at the sheer incompetence of the authorities.”

“What does Davos say about it all?” Dany offered him a gentle smile and rose to pour him some tea from her hot tea kettle, wanting to make him feel better but not sure how.

Jon took the offered tea, and gave her hand a squeeze, “Davos’ hands are tied, and then he proceeded to tell me today that I am too close to this case.”

 _Maybe he was too close?_ Dany smiled inwardly, _maybe if he was not Lyanna’s social worker maybe he could be something else for the little girl?_ Dany knew that now was not the time to bring up her plotting, and so she tried to just listen, instead of fix, “I’m sorry, Jon,” She offered him a tender smile.

“The staff at the group home informed me today that she did not eat anything yesterday, and she barely touched breakfast this morning,” Jon surprised her again by slamming his fist on the table, “And no one at her new school can tell me if she even ate lunch today.” Jon’s eyes met hers again, and he softened, when he saw her startled expression, “I’m sorry, love, I didn’t mean to…to…”

Dany took his hand and gave it a squeeze, “It’s alright.”

“I feel like if she just had someone who could be patient with her, someone who would not rush her or try to ‘fix’ her, then I think she could make some progress,” Jon met her eyes again and squeezed her hand, “Grief like she is experiencing doesn’t evaporate overnight.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Dany reached over and stroked her hand through his hair, and for a fleeting moment she saw in his face the six-year-old boy who had just lost his mother, leaving him alone in the world.

 

            “I think fostering would be a great way for Jon and I to decide if we want to adopt or not, and we would be helping a child at the same time,” Dany explained, not mentioning the fact that while she was open to foster any child, she had specifically planned this with Lyanna in mind. Lyanna had been in her thoughts since Christmas and Dany could not get her out. Tyrion did not look as skeptical as she originally imagined he would be.

“I think you and Jon would make excellent foster parents,” Tyrion said.

“You don’t think an amnesiac patient still in therapy would be a bad mother?” Dany asked with a self-conscious chuckle, trying to hide her own insecurity.

“It’s been months since your accident, and as far as I am concerned you are on the right track whether you regain anymore memories or not,” Tyrion said, “That is not to say that becoming foster parents would not bring with it it’s own set of difficulties.”

Dany nodded.

“I think it will be important for the two of you to sit down and seriously discuss the complications and struggles that could arise from bringing a third individual, particularly a child with specific emotional needs, into the mix of a situation that can already be emotionally complicated.”

“Jon and I love each other,” Dany crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Tyrion.

“I hate to shatter your so recently acquired romantic illusions,” Tyrion glared right back, “But sometimes love alone is not enough, having a child together takes a different type of teamwork.”

“So, you think it’s a bad idea?”

“No,” Tyrion sighed, “I just think you and Jon need to remain realistic and to develop clear lines of communications about inevitable difficulties that having a child in your world could produce,” Tyrion hopped off his chair, which usually indicated the drawing to a close of their session, “I for one will happily write you a clean bill of mental health, as I am quite pleased with yours and Jon’s progress. Now get out of my office so I can have lunch before I am bombarded by other poor romantic saps who are not as well-adjusted as you seem to be.”

Dany laughed and did as instructed. She did not know how to fully bring about her plot to foster Lyanna, but she knew the next step now would be to broach the subject with Jon about becoming a foster home.

 

As Dany was driving home, she made a mental checklist of things that needed to be done to the office in order to transform it into a bedroom. They would need to sell the big desk or store it somehow. She wondered if Jon and Robb would want to build bedroom furniture? Dany shook her head at her own grandiose plans. They could afford to buy bedroom furniture. Jon was too busy at work to build furniture and Robb was planning a wedding that was rapidly drawing near. Suddenly tires screeched and Dany slammed the brakes on her car just in time. A driver who had run a red light had barely missed slamming into her passenger side. Dany released a few expletives, feeling her heart practically pounding out of her chest. Her knuckles gripping the steering wheel so hard they were white. Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to calm herself.

“You just need to go home,” She chanted to herself, “Just go home.”

            Dany had nearly composed herself by the time she made it back to the apartment, though she could still feel some tears prickling the back of her eyes. Instead of going inside, she drove down to Missandei’s instead. Jon would not be home for awhile anyway and so would not be expecting her. For some reason she did not want to be alone right now.

            Missandei opened the door, looking so dreadfully uncomfortable with her baby bump, that Dany had to hug her. Her friend let her in, and to her surprise she found Sansa there as well, they both seemed to be attempting to put together some baby furniture. Dany laughed at the puzzled look on Sansa’s face. Sansa was many things, but a carpenter she was not.

“What are the two of you doing?” She asked. Sansa looked up and threw aside the directions.

“Missy needed help, she wanted to put all the furniture together for the nursery, but obviously she is too large with child to do it on her own,” Sansa teased, and Missy groaned. Dany giggled and affectionately rubbed Missandei’s hand.

“Where’s Grey?” Dany asked.

“He’s out of town on a business trip,” Missy explained.

“And so now was the natural time to put together furniture?”

“I couldn’t help myself,” Missandei said with a small smile, that demonstrated her excitement in spite of her discomfort. Sansa handed Dany the directions to what was apparently the crib.

“See if you can make sense of it.”

Dany could, in fact, make sense of it, but did not want to rub it Sansa’s face. She sat down on the ground and started to help her friends.

“Why didn’t you call Jon? Or…or Pod?” Dany laughed as they began to assemble the contraption.

“Because I am a strong independent woman that don’t need no man,” Sansa teased before erupting into a fit of giggles over the fact that she had been trying to put the crib together for over an hour to no avail.

            Missandei was in her third trimester and looked ready to pop, and Sansa and Dany could only offer her sympathy, as neither had been where she is at now. Dany remembered with some sadness her own lost pregnancy when she had been with Drogo. She had not been as far a long as Missandei was now, she had only been in her first trimester, and so though she remembered being pregnant she had not gotten to experience the changes of later pregnancy.

“Thank you for doing this for me,” Missy said, “I wish I could do it myself.”

“What are friends for, Missy?” Sansa said with a smile.

“Dany, aren’t you supposed to be in therapy?” Missy asked.

“I just finished, was on my way home, and… I wanted to… to see you,” Dany was not sure why she felt so hesitant to tell them about her near collision. She still felt rattled. Missandei smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

“Are you going to ask her?” Sansa suddenly asked Missy. Dany looked between the two of them.

“Ask me what?”

Missandei sat up as much as she could from her place on the sofa, “Well, my mother…because of my father’s condition… my mother can’t leave and come be with me when I give birth.”

Dany nodded understandingly, and Missandei continued, “I would really like it… if you would be in the delivery room with Grey and I, since I won’t have mom there with me.”

Dany felt those stifled tears spring back to her eyes, as she rose to her feet and threw her arms around Missy, being mindful of her bump.

“I would be honored.”

“Good.”

            The three women managed to construct the crib without any more difficulties, and they carried it into the nursey, and helped Missy clean up the living room before both Sansa and Dany both said they needed to get home to their schoolwork. Dany hugged her oldest and dearest friend and was suddenly overwhelmed with an exuberant sense of life…and living it how it was meant to be lived, with love, and with friends and with family. She and Sansa walked to their cars.

“How are things with Podrick going?” Dany asked. Sansa mouth twitched in a smile.

“They’re good, he’s good.”

Dany felt her heart sink, thinking about what Jon had told her at Christmas time about Sansa and her ex, Harry. She desperately wanted to ask but did not know how to bring it up, so instead she said, “You know you can always tell me things, right? If you want.”

Sansa’s eyes met hers.

“Jon told you, didn’t he?”

Dany felt caught red-handed, “he may have mentioned a name, but he did not really tell me much of anything.”

“No, I suppose he wouldn’t,” Sansa said softly, “Robb would have.”

“Robb loves you, he’s just trying to protect you,” Dany said softly, “He just goes about it wrong sometimes.”

“I know that.”

Their conversation was abruptly disturbed by a car honk, and the two girls looked up to see Jon’s car driving by, and him waving at them as he headed to their apartment.

“I really need to go,” Sansa said, “We can talk about it some other time.”

Dany knew the signs of evasion probably better than anyone, but she did not press her. Sansa would tell her when she was ready.

 

            “A foster home?” Jon asked as they sat on the sofa together, snuggling before retiring to bed that night. Dany had just explained her plan to turn their office into a bedroom and become a foster home.

“Yes,” Dany said softly, not sure how he was going to respond, “Is that… is that… something you would want?” She felt shy asking.

Jon smiled and laced her fingers with his. He kissed her forehead, “I think it is a beautiful idea.”

“You do?” Dany was not convinced, his voice sounded off.

“I do.”

“But?”

“But I think it is a serious thing to consider, and we should not just jump in without weighing all the responsibilities and ramifications,” Jon said. Dany heard the social worker in his voice and smiled, snuggling closer.

“Now you sound like Tyrion.”

Jon chuckled, “Do I?’

“Yes, you do,” Dany playfully pinched his side, and in retaliation he started to tickle her. Dany squealed and bolted off the couch, Jon made chase. Ghost followed them, looking at them as if they had lost their minds. Jon caught up to her at the side of their bed, and they stumbled into it together, as their lips crashed into a laughing kiss. With sweet but frantic hands they started to undress one another, giggling like love-struck teenagers, nipping at each other’s lips. Jon pulled her shirt over her head, and Dany pulled him back in for a kiss. Suddenly, Jon’s hand grasped one of her breasts.

“Ouch!” Dany laughed and smacked his hand, “Be nice!”

Jon chuckled but his movements slowed to a more even pace.

“Sorry, love, I got a little overzealous,” He said and kissed her breast apologetically. Dany sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. _Oh, how she loved him_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not as pleased with this chapter, but I did not want to wait so long that I lost momentum for the story. I have good stuff planned, but I want to make sure that the character development is there before I get there! I hope it is not disappointing! 
> 
> Thanks so much for all of your lovely comments!


	48. Motion (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still a bit of a transitional chapter, which I am sorry for, but I promise, we are getting closer to the good stuff.

Jon was startled awake by Dany sitting straight up and nearly leaping from bed and running to the bathroom. Rubbing his eyes, Jon got up and heard retching coming from the bathroom. The clock read 2:37 a.m. Jon opened the door to the bathroom.

“Go away,” She whispered in a shaking voice, still sitting on the floor with her head leaning over the toilet. Jon hesitated for a moment but ignored her whimpered plea. Jon came and sat behind her on the edge of the bathtub and laid a hand on her back. She looked over her shoulder at him for a moment, and Jon saw tears streaming down her face.

“Are you alright, love?” Jon asked. Dany huffed.

“Obviously I’m not alright,” She snapped, and Jon tried not to let her words sting. Her head was back over the toilet and Jon could tell she was about to throw up again. Jon gathered her hair off her shoulders and held it away from her face, and stroked her back with his other hand, while she vomited again into the toilet. He did not know what to say as she whimpered, her shoulders shaking from tears, before she threw up yet again.

“Go away,” She moaned again. Jon rolled his eyes. _Gods, she was stubborn_.

“I’m not going to leave you sitting here like this,” Jon said sharply.

“I don’t want you to see me throwing up,” She cried. Jon had to suppress a chuckle.

“I’ve already seen you throw up,” Jon tried to keep his voice light.

“Go away,” she whined, and he could tell she was crying harder now, and so he continued to stroke her back.

“Everyone deserves someone to take care of them when they are sick,” Jon said, turning her own words against her. To his relief, she released a soft chortle through her tears. When it seemed like she was done vomiting, Jon helped her off the ground and set her down on the edge of the bathtub before retrieving a washcloth so she could wash her face, and a glass of water for her to rinse her mouth.

“Dinner not agree with you?” Jon asked. Dany furrowed her brow.

“I guess not,” Dany said softly, “Or it’s just nerves for my first quiz tomorrow.”

Jon tucked Dany back into bed beside him, making sure she had everything she needed before climbing in beside her and wrapping her in his arms, her back to his front. He could feel her body shuddering, and realized she was still crying.

“Are you alright, love?”

“I was having bad dreams before I woke up,” Dany said softly. Jon held her closer.

“Drogo?” He asked, knowingly.

“No,” She sighed. Silence settled over them for a few moments, and Jon wondered if she had fallen asleep, but then she spoke again, “I was almost in a car accident a few days ago.”

“What?” Jon snapped, his heart suddenly racing. Dany had her gaze trained on the opposite wall facing away from him.

“It’s alright,” She said softly, “I braked just in time.”

Jon was confused. What did this have to do with her bad dreams? She answered without having to be asked.

“At first I thought I was just rattled from almost being hit,” She said, “But then I started to see flashes in my mind of an actual accident, and then I had a dream about an accident…” her voice trailed off, and she huffed, “Then I realized I was remembering… I was remembering _the_ accident, and I dreamt about it again tonight.”

“Oh, love…” Jon kissed her hair and tightened his hold on her. He could feel her body shaking with tears again.

“No wonder my mind wanted to forget it,” She whispered, “It was terrifying.”

They were silent again and Jon felt Ghost jump up on the bed and curl up over Dany’s legs as if to soothe her.

“Of all the beautiful things I could have remembered, with you, with Missandei, or Sansa, or the rest of your family,” Dany continued, “Why do I have to remember something so terrible? It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not fair,” Jon agreed, feeling tears prick his own eyes, hating seeing her in distress like this, “I know it doesn’t make it feel any better, but we will make new memories, we will move past this.”

Dany nodded, and began to cry once again as Jon held her and whispered how much he loved her in her ear until she fell asleep.

 

            Jon looked at the clock, work was moving slow today. They had begun the process for becoming a foster home as it could occasionally be a lengthy process, even as they were still weighing what they needed as a couple, and their ability to take care of a foster child. Jon had no doubts that Dany would be a wonderful foster mother, she handled Rickon and Little Sam so well, but he did not want to put extra pressure on her when it had only been a handful of months since her accident. At their last couple’s therapy session, however, Tyrion and the two of them had talked at length about learning to move on and not living stuck in Dany’s lost memories. Jon felt like they could do that and opening their home to a foster child could help them focus their attentions together in a constructive, less self-centered way.

Dany was exuberant about the possibility of having a child at the house, and that made Jon smile. He wondered, though, if he would be a good foster father. Before the accident, Dany had always told him that he would be a good father, and he truly enjoyed the children he worked with but there was a part of him that was concerned that there was an element in him, that was like his own father that he never knew. That was one of his greatest fears…of being like the man who abandoned his mother. Could he ever be a good father with those kinds of genes working against him?

            Jon was finishing his day by rifling through Lyanna’s file, looking for clues to the whereabouts of her dog. Jon could not get Bear out of his mind and had told Dany about the dog and she suggested he try and locate Bear. He could not imagine having Ghost taken away from him and he was a grown man, he could not imagine how Lyanna felt having her pet taken from her when she was already devastated from the loss of her mother and then her grandfather. He may not be able to return the dog to her as she still could not have pets in the group home, but he was determined too, if nothing else, find out what happened to him. He knew he should not be spending time doing this as it was not his responsibility, but he did not think he could rest until the mystery was solved.

“I got a phone call from the social worker handling yours and Dany’s paperwork for becoming a foster home,” Davos had appeared beside his desk.

“Yes, we wanted to go ahead and get the preliminary paperwork started, because I know it can take time sometimes to get everything cleared.”

“I think fostering will suit the two of you,” Davos said with a smile.

“Thanks, Dany and I have been discussing it this week and we are getting excited about it as well,” Jon said.

“I do want to warn you,” Davos said seriously, “There are some judges and social workers who frown on approving a foster home when the couple is cohabitating rather than married, so there may be some questions in that regard, but the social worker I talked to seemed to think that your being a social worker yourself may balance that out.”

Jon knew that more traditional authorities did not like for foster parents to not be married, it was not something he, as a social worker, felt was a problem as long as the couple were loving and committed to one another and passed all the other necessary tests that married couples went through. Still, Jon knew he and Dany needed to be prepared for questions about their marital status. Perhaps he and Dany needed to have a conversation about the direction of their relationship? They did not have to get married right now, but rather simply reaffirm their commitment to each other for the long-term before the ball started to roll faster toward becoming a foster home.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be advocating for the two of you,” Davos said.

“Thanks, Davos, I appreciate that, and I know Dany will too,” Jon offered his boss a smile, “How is Shireen doing?”

“She is getting settled now that everything is finalized,” Davos said, “Marya has been beside herself, I don’t think I’ve seen her this excited since the birth of our youngest.”

Jon chuckled, feeling a sweet tightening in his chest, thinking about what he and Dany would be like when they were Davos and Marya’s age. Growing old together, that was something Jon longed for… he wanted life, life with Dany, and it still winded him sometimes thinking about how close he had come to losing it all with her accident.

 

On his way home Jon stopped and got carryout for him and Dany for dinner, and he also received a text from Robb.

 _“What are you doing for your birthday?”_ The text read.

Jon sighed he had been so preoccupied with work, Lyanna, and making decisions with Dany about the future he had completely forgotten his upcoming birthday this weekend…two days away. Dany did not know his birthday was coming up, he knew. Jon did not like parties, especially ones in which he was the center of attention, but he also knew that Dany would be hurt if he did not tell her. He had no desire to make her feel bad about not knowing when his birthday was, especially when their relationship had been so good. He hoped she would not be mad that he had not told her already. He simply had not thought about it. Jon made a mental note to tell her later.

            As he got into his car, he received another text. This one from Davos on his work phone.

 _“If you weren’t already planning too, you need to go see Lyanna tomorrow,”_ read Davos’ text. Jon dialed Davos’ number.

“What’s going on?” Jon demanded, surprised at how intense his voice sounded.

“Lyanna did not eat again today, and the school also confirmed that she did not eat lunch,” Davos explained. Jon sighed and rubbed his eyes. Last week, she had gone two days without eating more than a few nibbles. He also knew that after that, even though she was eating again it was not much.

“Do I need to go right now?” Jon asked, looking at the time. He had already worked overtime this week, and so he likely knew what Davos’ answer would be, though the protective side of him, wanted to say, “ _to hell with protocol.”_

“No, you need to go home,” Davos insisted just as Jon knew he would, “The staff can do what they can today, and you can go to talk to her tomorrow.”

“You are sure?”

“Yes, Jon, you need to rest too.”

“What’s going to happen if we can’t get her to a place where she is eating properly, and taking care of herself?” Jon asked, feeling a knot forming in his stomach.

“Well, one particularly surly member of the board suggested a mental health care facility,” Davos said with a sigh.

“Grieving is a normal process! Not a diagnosable condition!” Jon shouted over the phone, fuming, “She needs time, and she needs help learning how to grieve in a healthy way! She can't get that in mental healthcare facility!”

“I know that, and you know that but other more traditional minds, may have more sway than you or I,” Davos said, “We need to find a way to reach her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Dany makes multiple discoveries


	49. Discoveries (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so so much for the comments! Everyone's enthusiasm for this story keeps me motivated especially now that there is so little canon inspiration to draw upon. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope I got it right, and that everyone enjoys!

Fingers gently brushing her cheek woke her from sleep, and Dany started to open her eyes.

"Don't wake, love," Jon whispered in his deep northern accent. She felt him brush kisses over both her eyes, her nose, and finally her forehead, "I just wanted to let you know I'm taking Ghost to work with me, so you didn't worry."

Dany nodded in acknowledgement, feeling his hand caress her lower back before she heard him leave the room.

Fully intending to fall back asleep as she had neither work nor classes on Fridays, she snuggled deeper under the blankets, unfortunately her stomach betrayed her, and she had to leap from the bed and bolt to the bathroom to throw up. Everything ached, her back, her breasts, and her head. She had assumed that these were the symptoms of her period coming, but her period was now a week late.

After throwing up twice, she cleaned herself up and felt a knot of anxiety forming in her stomach. Dany pulled her pajama top up and looked at her flat stomach, biting her lip. Could she...?

Jon's footsteps coming back into the room startled her out of her thoughts, and she dropped her shirt hoping he had not noticed.

"Forgot Ghost's leash," he said, "I'm taking him to the group home to see Lyanna, hoping he might be able to cheer her up a bit..."

Dany just stood there looking at him in the mirror.

"You alright, love?" He asked, coming over and wrapping his arms around her waist and planting a kiss into her hair.

"I'm fine," she said tersely and tried to give him a smile. He gave her an odd look as if he did not believe her.

"Alight then," he said, "I'll bring Ghost home after I visit Lyanna, before I go to the office, do you want me to bring dinner home tonight?"

"No, I can scrounge something up for us," Dany leaned her head against his chest for a moment, feeling emotions welling up inside her. Jon leaned his cheek against the top of her head and stroked her back.

"You sure you're okay?"

Dany nodded against his solid chest and placed a kiss over his heart.

"I'm okay," she assured him, "now go save the world, so you can come home."

Jon chuckled, leaned down and cradled her face in his hands and kissed her, deeply, sweetly. He was so gentle, Dany wanted to cry. She had never met a man with such a powerful combination of both strength and gentleness.

 

            Dany began her day by spreading her homework all over the kitchen table, but even after drinking her morning tea and taking a stroll around the neighborhood, she could not seem to focus. Her mind wandered once again to the strange bodily symptoms that had been plaguing her. She went back to the bathroom, and looked at her body in the mirror, even though she rationally knew that visible physical changes would be none existent. Dany had been pregnant once before and so she knew that it was not a total impossibility for her to be pregnant, but that had been nearly nine years ago and she had been much younger, and she had no idea how her recent diagnosis of infertility would have affected her at eighteen years old. Jon had told her they had tried for around a year and a half to conceive to no avail. Dany knew that was not a long time compared to some other couples who struggled to get pregnant, but it still was not promising. Dany splayed her fingers across her belly. She and Jon had been having quite enthusiastic sex for almost two months now, and she blushed to think that not once had they bothered with using protection. The thought had not even crossed her mind. In her mind, she had been infertile, and the same thoughts must have been in Jon’s mind because he did not bring it up either. She remembered, though vaguely, how it felt to be pregnant. Could she be?

That tight knot of anxiety from earlier continued to grow in her stomach. Dany opened the cabinet door where she knew those old pregnancy tests were stashed. Should she use one? Dany hurriedly threw them back under the cupboard, and for some reason unknown to her, she began to weep. Somehow, she was both simultaneously happy and terrified, and she did not want to find out alone, but she also did not want anyone to know her suspicions lest they be unfounded… or worse still… if she lost another baby. Dany continued to weep. She wanted Ghost, she wanted Jon, and she wanted to be alone. Dany did not know which one she wanted more.

“He would take Ghost on a day when I need him,” Dany thought somewhat bitterly as she sniffed back tears. Then she thought of sweet little Lyanna, who needed comforting as much as she, and her irritation with Jon taking Ghost evaporated. Dany would not begrudge Ghost spending the day taking care of a little girl who had no one else. That thought set Dany to crying as well.

“I’m pregnant,” She whispered to the empty bathroom, somehow, she knew it but still could not bring herself to take a pregnancy test. Dany, for maybe the first time in her life, truly wished she had a mother to call and confess her fears too, someone who would understand and help her to understand the wild, torrent of emotions going on inside her.

Dany was about to call Sansa before realizing she remembered that Sansa worked on Fridays, and Missandei was out of town seeing her father for the last time before her own baby came. Dany did not know who to call and talk too. She took her phone and pulled up Jon’s number. Her finger hovered over the dial button, but she could not bring herself to do it. Fear gripped her. What if she lost the baby? She could not be more than a month along it was not uncommon…. Dany’s thoughts trailed off, she did not even want to entertain such a horrible thought but it was there just the same. Dany scrolled through her contact list, most of the names unfamiliar to her. She could not handle Margaery’s exuberance right now, and she highly doubted that Marge would be able to keep such a secret. Arya did not have quite the disposition she needed at the moment in her fragile state. Then her eyes landed on a name, that she had not even considered. Listed in her phone was the number for _Aunt Cat_.

The telephone exchange was brief. Dany asked Aunt Cat if she could come over, but did not explain why, and Aunt Cat had agreed, saying she would be home all day and was welcome to come whenever she wanted. Dany had grabbed three pregnancy tests and rushed to the Stark Manor. To her surprise she was met by Ned at the door.

“Oh, hello,” Dany said, surprised, but hoped her voice did not sound unpleased. She liked Ned, she really did, but he was an imposing figure, whom she did not always know how to communicate with. Having never known her own father, she never really knew how to interact with fathers.

“Come on in, Dany,” Ned ushered her in, and offered her some tea in the kitchen, “Cat said you may stop by.”

“Where did she go?” Dany asked, trying to keep her disappointment at Cat’s absence out of her voice. Ned chuckled. He sounded so much like Jon.

“Rickon forgot to take his lunch to school and so she is taking it to him, but she informed me that she would be back any minute, and that I was to make sure you had a warm beverage and were comfortable while you waited for her.”

Dany and Ned sat in silence for a bit, drinking their tea. It was not uncomfortable, however, as Ned was not one to push for information or small talk, but she could tell that he could sense something was wrong with her.

“You and Jon are a lot alike,” Dany said softly. Ned chuckled.

“Yes, we get that quite a lot actually,” he said, “Which is an honor for me, Jon is a good man.”

Dany felt tears spring to her eyes, and she inwardly cursed at her uncontrollable emotions this morning.

“He is a good man,” she practically sobbed.

Ned gave her a soft smile and reached over, and somewhat awkwardly took her hand, “Are you alright, Dany?”

Dany had an internal debate. Did she tell him? Could she tell him? Just then Catelyn came in the door, and upon seeing Dany’s tears rushed over to her.

“Dany, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Catelyn asked.

“I’m….” Dany stuttered, “I think I may be…pregnant.” Dany bit her lip, and searched their faces, half feeling like a teenager who was about to be scolded for not practicing safe sex. Their faces, however, erupted into the kindest smiles she had ever seen.

“Oh, Dany that’s wonderful,” Catelyn said, and brushed some hair from Dany’s face, offering her a Kleenex. Ned squeezed her hand.

“I’m not sure yet…” Dany sniffled, then took a deep breath before confessing, “And…and… I haven’t told Jon.”

“Ned, love, will you give me and Dany a moment,” Catelyn asked. Ned nodded understandingly, and Dany wept once again as Ned leaned over her and placed a kiss atop her head, as she had seen him do to both Sansa and Arya.

“We’re happy for you, Dany, and we are here for you both in any way you need us,” He assured her before leaving the two women alone.

            Aunt Cat took her hand.

“Now,” the older woman started, “I assume you wanted to see me for a reason, and that there is a reason you have not told Jon.”

“Well, I’ve only suspected for a couple of days now, but I’m a week late, and there have been other symptoms,” Dany explained.

“Having you taken a pregnancy test?” Catelyn asked. Dany shook her head. “Don’t you think that might be a good place to start? That might alleviate some of your guess work.”

“I was just nervous, and I didn’t want to do it alone.”

“And you didn’t feel like you could do it with Jon?” Catelyn asked, a little confusion on her face.

“It wasn’t that, it’s just…I don’t know…” Dany stumbled on her words. She should have just told him this morning when he came back inside to get Ghost’s leash, but she had missed the moment.

“Would you like to take a pregnancy test?” Catelyn asked, “And we can sit together and talk while we wait for it?" The offer was exactly what Dany needed, and so she nodded, “Now do you have a pregnancy test, or do we need to make a store run?”

“I have one,” Dany said softly. Catelyn wiped at Dany’s eyes with a Kleenex.

“You go on, and take the test, and I will make us some more tea,” Catelyn said, “I will be in there when you are finished.” Dany nodded and obeyed.

            Dany and Cat sat on the edge of the bathtub in the master bathroom of the Stark Manor waiting for the pregnancy test. The minutes seemed to be crawling by. Catelyn was stroking her back soothingly, but they were silent. Finally, the timer went off on Dany’s phone. Catelyn smiled at her.

“Well, let’s take a look,” Catelyn urged. With shaking hands, Dany picked up the pregnancy test, almost not wanting to confirm it, wanting it to stay some nebulous possibility. She did not want her dream shattered. But she had too know…and so she turned it over… and read the word that had appeared on the stick.

 _Pregnant_.

Dany blinked a couple of times and read it again. _Pregnant_. Then tears were streaming down her cheeks again, and Catelyn gathered her in her arms and stroked her hair, just as she might do one of her own daughters.

“Oh, Dany, this is happy news, isn’t it?” Catelyn said, tears seeming to be in her eyes as well.

“I am happy,” Dany sobbed, not quite understanding her own weepy reaction.

Catelyn chuckled, and held her, letting her cry, then said in a sweet, sympathetic voice, “You and Jon made a baby together.”

Dany laughed through her tears, “We did.”

Catelyn urged her to sit up and look at her, and she smiled while tucking loose strands of hair behind her ears. Dany thought that this must be what it was like to have a mother.

“Now, do you want to tell me, why you did not want to tell Jon?” Catelyn asked in a gentle voice. Dany tried to wipe her tears away.

“I don’t know,” Dany whimpered, “I… just… I was scared…”

“Scared?”

“Its silly for me to think these things,” Dany huffed, feeling somewhat angry with herself, but her emotions were to raw at the moment to care, “I was scared he might think it was too soon… or that he might be overwhelmed….” Dany’s voice trailed off, and while those were genuine concerns, the real reason seemed lodged in her throat. _What if she lost the baby?_

“Jon is going to be so happy, Dany,” Catelyn assured her, “He loves you so much, and the two of you have been through so much, this is a beautiful gift.”

Dany tried to stifle her tears, but Catelyn gave her a gentle smile.

“It’s okay to cry, sweetheart,” Aunt Cat rubbed her shoulder, “It’s normal to feel a little vulnerable, and scared, especially when it’s your first, and it’s sudden and little unexpected.”

Dany nodded, and wiped at her eyes again.

“Tell Jon,” Catelyn gently urged, “And tell him how you are feeling, let him be there for you, because I know he wants to be.”

Dany smiled and nodded again.

“I’m sure this will be a beautiful birthday present for him,” Catelyn said with a smile before standing up.

 _Birthday present?_ Dany’s thoughts skidded to a stop.

“Birthday present?” Dany said aloud, confusion evident in her voice.

“For tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Dany repeated, a sudden pang of anger shooting through her at the father of her newly discovered child.

“Jon’s birthday tomorrow,” Catelyn continued seeming oblivious to Dany’s changed mood, and completely unaware of the hostile feelings that had suddenly gripped Dany. _How could he not tell her that his birthday was tomorrow?!_ Though she knew deep in her heart that she was being irrational, Dany was suddenly livid. _How could he not tell her?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Ghost visits Lyanna, and Jon come homes to a rather hostile pregnant woman


	50. Close (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's excitement for last chapter was so encouraging! I appreciate everyone sticking with me as I tell this story! I have been very excited myself to get last chapter, this chapter, and the next chapter out, so I am working on it as fast as real life will allow! Once again thanks so much!

Jon pulled up to the group home, unsure in what state he was going to find Lyanna. Talking to the girl had done little good, and so Jon had lain awake almost all night devising new strategies to get through to her. He had conceived something of a plan in the wee hours of the morning, and so this morning he had gently disentangled himself from Dany’s comforting arms and gathered everything he needed. He intended to stay today until they got some sort of food down Lyanna. Jon had gotten permission from the manager of the group home to bring Ghost for a visit if they stayed in the backyard, and so Jon took Ghost around to the gate and left him there while he went inside to find Lyanna. She was sitting at the kitchen table. The staff had kept her home from school today by Jon's request. Forcing her to go to school and sit through classes hungry and hurting would do no one any good, especially Lyanna. His priority today was to get her to eat. Jon had a plan. He was not sure it was going to work but he was going to try.

"Morning, Lyanna," Jon said, trying to sound chipper, and trying to act like he did not notice that she looked exhausted, and waif-like. Jon noted that it looked like she had not brushed her hair in days, which was unusual for her, as every time he had seen her, she had always displayed a sort of militaristic neatness about her appearance, which he was sure that the General had instilled in her from a young age.

"Are you why they won't let me go to school this morning?" She asked, never one to make small talk.

"I'm afraid so," Jon chuckled, sitting down at the table and glancing at her full plate of food. She glared at him as if daring him to say something about it.

"You know, I have a cousin about your age," Jon said picking up a biscuit from the basket in the middle of the table and munching on it.

"So?"

Jon took a breath, not allowing himself to be intimidated, as she had intimidated so many others.

"One of his favorite things to do is run around like a banshee outside, he would like nothing better than a free day from school," Jon chuckled. Jon wished he could take Lyanna to play with gregarious Rickon, never-met-a-stranger, Stark. Jon proceeded to fill an empty plate with some biscuits and sausage and jam.

"I'm not hungry," Lyanna said, resolutely.

"Oh, this isn't for you," Jon replied and stood from the table. She eyed him suspiciously, "I've brought a guest you see, but he can only take his breakfast outside."

Jon noted the slight shift of curiosity in her eyes. She got up from the table. Jon held up her coat for her and helped her bundle up, before they stepped outside. Her gaze fell upon Ghost. For a moment her eyes lit up when she saw him sitting there staring at them patiently. Lyanna turned and looked up at Jon and for the first time he saw the hidden child that was locked up inside her, and his heart nearly stopped.

"May I pet him?"

Jon gave her a piece of the sausage to give to Ghost, "Yes, he loves kids, even though I know you are not a kid, but he's pretty big so he might think that you are."

Lyanna nodded, took the sausage and bounded over to Ghost. Jon spread a picnic blanket he had brought out on the grass and sat down and turned to watch the little girl feed the sausage to the big white dog, who licked her face enthusiastically. To his everlasting amazement, he heard a small laugh escape from her lips, as she hugged the dog and buried her face in his fur. Jon turned away when she turned back toward him, not wanting her to know that he was watching.

            Lyanna urged Ghost to follow her, and the dog padded beside her over to the picnic blanket where Jon was sitting. He had spread some jam over several biscuits and lined them along the plate.

“What’s his name?” Lyanna asked. Jon watched as she snatched another sausage and fed it to the dog.

“Ghost.”

“Before…” She started almost suspiciously, “before you said he plays soccer.”

“He does,” Jon smiled, and took a bite of a biscuit and offered her one.

“I’m not hungry,” Lyanna stated firmly, obviously aware of his attempts at subterfuge. Jon momentarily conceded and reached into his bag, and brought out a ball, the sight of which had Ghost’s ears perked up at attention.

“Have at it,” Jon laughed and threw the ball, and both Lyanna and Ghost took off after it. While Lyanna and Ghost kicked and chased the ball, Jon opened two cartons of chocolate milk he had snatched from the kitchen and sat one in front of where he intended Lyanna to sit down and eat. Last night, Jon had thought of how Dany treasured sitting down and eating together and had wondered if Lyanna just needed someone who could give her their undivided attention for a little while over a meal.

            Jon glanced up and saw one of the staff members of the group home watching Lyanna from the porch with a look of sweet relief, and tears in her eyes. Jon knew they did the best that they could, and cared for the kids, but some children just needed the more individualized attention that they simply did not have the time to provide. Jon tried to wave the staff member off, not wanting Lyanna to feel like she was being watched. The staff member kindly took the hint. Jon tried not to watch her himself, while he pretended to go over some paperwork.

The little girl’s stamina was surprising, but after nearly forty-five minutes of running around with Ghost she eventually came and plopped down opposite from Jon on the picnic blanket. There was color in her cheeks, and her hair was a windblown mess, but for once Jon felt a little hope stirring.

“He is a good dog,” Lyanna informed him. Jon tried not to laugh, at how condescendingly approving she sounded.

Jon scratched Ghost behind the ears, “Yes, he is.” Out of the corner of his eye, Jon saw her pick up the chocolate milk carton and take a drink. To his surprise, she also started to mess with her hair, in an almost nervous gesture that he had never seen in her.

“The General used to braid my hair,” She said tersely. Jon kept his gaze focused on Ghost, not wanting to interrupt the moment of vulnerability that Lyanna had just given him.

“Oh?”

“He said my braids were too messy,” Lyanna continued, “And so he would braid it.”

“Well, Generals do like to keep their troops neat,” Jon teased, hoping to coax a laugh or a smile from her.

“Yes,” was all she said in response.

“My wife,” Jon stumbled over the word, not sure how that particular word popped out of his mouth, “She braids her hair, she’s quite good at it. I wish you could meet her, then she could teach you.”

When Jon looked back at Lyanna, he noted that one of the biscuits on the plate was gone, and she had smidge of jam at the corner of her mouth. Jon wisely made no comment. They sat in silence for a little while, and Lyanna loved on Ghost. Eventually, she got back up and she and Ghost went back at it with the soccer ball. She still had not eaten anything substantial, but he would stay here all day if that is what it took. Dany was always telling him that he was a patient man, and right now, he knew Lyanna just needed some patience.

 

            By the end of nearly three hours, of Lyanna repeating the pattern of playing soccer with Ghost, and then plopping back down on the picnic blanket to talk for a few moments, Jon knew that Ghost had gotten more food than Lyanna, but to his relief Lyanna had eaten two biscuits with jam, and two small pieces of sausage, and drank her carton of chocolate milk. He supposed for now that would have to be good enough and would wait to hear from the staff at the group home on whether she ate dinner or not.

After dropping Ghost back to an empty apartment, Jon made his way to the office and was working toward finishing his weekly paperwork when Davos appeared at his desk.

“I just received a phone call about you,” Davos said, a small smile on his voice.

“Oh?” Jon replied.

“From a staff member at Lyanna’s group home,” Davos continued, “They were singing your praises.”

“I just did what I thought was best for her,” Jon said, having never been good at receiving compliments.

“You are good with her, and have built trust with her,” Davos said.

“We still have a long way to go,” Jon confessed.

“Yes,” Davos seemed to be contemplating something, “I have also just gotten off the phone with the social worker handling you and Dany’s paperwork to become a foster home.”

That concerned Jon, and so he turned to look at Davos, “And what did they have to say?”

“He says if you and Dany can pass your Home Study, and the required parenting courses in the next week or two, then we can expedite your paperwork.”

 _Expedite their paperwork?_ That was usually only done in special cases. _Why would they feel the need to expedite their paperwork?_

Davos took a breath, “I’ve been discussing Lyanna’s case with the board, and most of them are determined that she needs to go to a mental health facility.”

Jon sighed, and started to interrupt Davos, but Davos held his hand up.

“I found an ally, however, oddly enough…in the chief financial officer,” Davos chuckled, “He said it would be a mismanagement of government funds to place Lyanna in a mental care facility, but he did agree that something needed to be done.”

“Okay…” Jon was not sure where Davos was going with this.

“I’ve told you before that I think you may be a little to close to Lyanna’s case as a social worker,” Davos said, and once again Jon started to interrupt, “How would you feel about working with her in a capacity that I feel you are more suited in this particular case?”

“Davos, I’m not sure what you are trying to get at.”

“If we can get you and Dany approved as foster parents, I have worked out a plan with the board for Lyanna to come and live with the two of you,” Davos explained, and Jon felt his jaw drop, “You would of course have to transfer her case to another social worker, but I think in this instance you would do Lyanna more good as a foster father, than as her social worker.”

“Davos, I don’t know what to say,” Jon felt unexplainable tears prick the back of his eyes.

“Well, it would be a trial period, and the permanence of the situation would very much depend on whether you can keep her from running away, and keep her eating,” Davos said, “It may only be for a few months as we are much closer to finding her father, but she needs to be out of the group home but until we do find her father she cannot be adopted, and so I think this has presented itself as the best solution.”

“I would have to talk to Dany of course,” Jon said a little breathlessly, “But…” Jon did not know how to express the sense of profound relief he felt on Lyanna’s behalf.

“Yes, definitely, go home, talk to Dany, discuss details and anything you might need from me or your social worker, and let us know,” Davos said, “If it is something the two of you want and are able to do, then we can get this process expedited.”

            Jon hurried home that day after work, elated and ready to spring into action. Dany had been so enthusiastic about fostering a child that he knew she would be happy about this development, even if it was happening a bit sooner than they may have imagined at first. He threw open the door to their apartment, and Ghost greeted him.

“Dany?” he called and started to walk toward the bedroom. He turned around when something soft smacked him in the back of the head. Jon saw a wadded up dishcloth on the ground and looked up to see Dany glaring at him with her hands on her hips. She looked rather angry, and Jon was taken aback.

“How could you?” She snapped, stalking toward him.

“How could I what?” Jon took a few steps back. Her eyes were spitting fire.

“How could you not tell me?”

Jon racked his brain, for a few moments.

“I suppose I should say happy birthday,” Dany supplied taking a few more steps toward him, and Jon took a few more steps away, realization dawning on him. He chuckled, but that was the wrong reaction.

“It isn’t funny!” She snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. Jon smiled at her and reached for her, but she pulled away, “Didn’t you think about how it would make me feel to not know it was your birthday tomorrow? I found out from Aunt Cat! I was so embarrassed, Jon!”

“Dany, love…” Jon softened, seeing that she truly was distressed. Dany stalked into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed, and when Jon came to kneel in front of her, he saw that she had tears in her eyes. _Shit_ , he cursed at himself, and coaxed her to uncross her arms as he took her hands into his.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked, her lower lip trembling, “I can’t remember everything I’ve forgotten all by myself.”

Jon sighed and leaned up and kissed her forehead, “I did not mean to keep it from you, love, I was going to tell you last night.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I forgot, I got so busy with work, and on my way home, I got a call from Davos about Lyanna, and by the time I got home, I truly forgot,” Jon tried to pull her a little closer, which she resisted at first, but slowly started to sink into him, “My birthday has never really been that big of a deal to me, I’m not much of a party person, but I truly did not mean to keep it from you. I’m sorry.”

Dany wrapped her arms around him then and nodded. She was crying. Jon stroked her back, not quite sure how to handle the tears after she had just been quite angry.

“I’m sorry,” She mumbled against his neck, “I should not have thrown the dish cloth at you.”

Jon did laugh at that, “Don’t worry, I don’t think it left any lasting injuries. Do you forgive me?”

“Yes,” She sniffled.

“I’ve got good news,” Jon offered, coming to sit beside her on the bed. Ghost bounded up next to them and licked Dany’s cheek, which made her smile.

“What news?”

            Jon and Dany spent the next hour discussing Lyanna and the possibility of her coming to live with them for a time. Dany explained that she already had furniture picked out for the room and had been reading his old child psychology books, which made Jon laugh. When they were done, Dany threw her arms around him, and sniffled again.

“I think this will be wonderful,” She said, “I’ve been trying to come up with a plan to help her since you told me about her, but I never could figure out how to make it work! Davos is a saint!”

Jon wiped a tear off her cheek, and smiled, “I’m happy, and I’m happy that you’re happy.”

“I am happy,” Dany wiped more tears away, “And I’m sorry that I’m so weepy about it.”

“It’s okay.”

“They won’t stop,” She whined with half a laugh. Dany looked at him and opened her mouth as if to say something then clamped it shut again, and then she said, “I put a frozen pizza in the oven and took it out just before you got home, it’s probably cold by now.”

“We can warm it up again,” Jon chuckled and helped her off the bed.

            That night as they lay together in bed, Jon feathered kisses across her face, adoring her soft almost inaudible purrs of contentment. He tentatively cupped her breast, and she winced. Jon was not sure how to translate that, and so he released it and gently stroked her stomach instead. She was so quiet, but every time he pulled away thinking, perhaps, she did not want his attentions tonight, she would pull him into another kiss.

“Don’t stop,” She whispered, and so he did not. Even in the dark, he could tell she was crying again, but when he tried to make out her face, she looked like she was smiling up at him. Every so often, she sighed sweetly and seemed like she might say something, but she never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Jon's Birthday


	51. Birthday (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is almost painfully sweet, but you all probably know by now, that I do like writing the sweet stuff. I really wanted to get this one just right, hopefully it meets expectations! 
> 
> Thank you so much for the lovely comments! I appreciate everyone's support and enthusiasm! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Around 4 a.m. the morning of Jon’s birthday, Dany tried to discreetly pull herself away from Jon, but his heavy arm was still draped around her middle and one of his legs was completely slung across both her own legs. He was always so clingy in his sleep, and it would have made her laugh if she did not need to throw-up…right now. _Damn morning sickness_ , Dany thought in frustration, this was not how she envisioned waking him up for his birthday.

“Jon!” Dany said, desperately.

“Hmm?”

“Jon, I need up,” Dany pushed his arm off her, and he groggily moved his leg. Dany bounded toward the bathroom, but to her horror she realized she was not going to make it and threw up all over the tile right in front of the bathroom door. Tears flooded her eyes. _Damn tears_ , Dany thought ruefully. She did not remember being this wretchedly emotional the first time she had been pregnant all those years ago. Feeling defeated, Dany laid down on the carpet, in the fetal position, in front of the mess on the other side of the bathroom door. She already heard him shuffling out of bed.

“Jon?” She whimpered.

“Dany,” He knelt beside her and seemed to be assessing the situation, “That's it, you’re going to the doctor, I’ve never seen you so sick.” He started to stand up as if to go get dressed and march her straight away to the hospital.

“No,” Dany grabbed his hand before he could get away, “I’m fine,” she moaned, pathetically.

“Love, you are not fine,” Jon stroked her hair and then put his hands under her arms and lifted her into a sitting position.

“Please,” She whimpered, feeling even more pathetic, “Please, lets just see if I feel better today, and if I’m still sick tomorrow, I will let you take me to the doctor.”

Jon studied her and looked back at the mess awaiting them on the bathroom floor.

“Fine,” He said in a huff, “But if you throw up one more time today, I swear I will personally throw you over my shoulder and hull you to the nearest emergency room.”

“Okay,” Dany conceded, chuckling through her tears.

Together they cleaned up the mess and managed to get back in bed. Jon tucked the blankets around her chin like she was a child, which made her giggle. He smiled at her and tucked some hair behind her ear.

“I can’t move,” She teased him, as she tried to wiggle her arms under the tucked blankets.

“Good,” He laughed, and touched her forehead, feeling for fever. Dany had to bite her tongue. She did not want to tell him this way. She had a plan for the day, but she had to manage to make him believe that she was not sick. Jon simply looked down at her, a fond smile on his face.

“Happy birthday,” Dany whispered. He kissed her forehead.

“Thank you, my love,” He said before getting into bed next to her. He wrapped his arm around her, his palm flattening against her stomach, and she tensed. Did he know?

 

            When morning finally came, Dany had not slept. She had spent the better part of the morning listening to Jon’s soft snores, and texting various individuals whom she would need to carry out her plot. He said he did not like parties, and he said he did not really care much about his birthday but Dany, for some reason she could not explain, wanted him to care. His birthday was worth celebrating, he was worth celebrating. Dany once again had to carefully extract herself from the bed, she gripped the bed post for a moment still feeling a bit nauseous but willed herself not to throw up. He was not going to let her out of his sight, if she threw up again. Stealthily, she snuck out of the apartment with Ghost in tow to retrieve them coffee and muffins for breakfast, and while she did, she confirmed her plans with the various individuals involved.

            Dany returned to the apartment to find a tousled haired Jon at the kitchen table reading the real estate section of the newspaper.

“Look at you, reading the newspaper like a little old man,” Dany teased, affectionately. He gave her an odd look, before reaching for her with a fond smile on his face.

“And just where did you run off too?” He had a scolding tone to his voice, but a teasing glint in his eyes.

Dany gave him the coffee she had gotten for him and stroked her hand through his hair.

“Go put some real clothes on,” Dany instructed, “I have an adventure for us to go on.”

“Dany, you are sick, you need to lie down.”

“Jon, I told you I’m fine,” Dany insisted. _Gods, he was stubborn_ , “I’ve had my tea and a walk, and I’m feeling quite well. Please, humor me?” Dany gave him the most charming smile she could muster, and he laughed.

“Fine.”

“Good, because it’s your birthday…”

“Dany, we don’t have…”

“Jon,” Dany silenced him, “Please?”

He conceded, with a huff.

 

            Their adventure began with a quick stop to see Jon’s friends at the police station, in which Tormund nearly tackled Jon to the ground, and Ygritte offered them coffee and donuts, on her way out on patrol, saying with a playful grin that it was the police officers “special.” Jon squeezed Dany’s hand as they got back into the car. They took Ghost to the park, where they walked hand in hand around the duck pond while Ghost terrorized the ducks. Dany glanced around hoping to spot who had said would meet them here, she, unfortunately, could not remember what they looked like and so hoped that they would find them.

“Jon!” The voice of a little girl broke their companionable silence as she launched herself at Jon’s legs. Jon laughed and picked her up for a moment and hugged her.

“Shireen, what on earth are you doing here?” He asked with a smile.

“Davos, and Marya, and I always go for walks now at the duck pond,” Shireen explained, “Marya always gives me bread crusts to feed the ducks.”

An older couple approached them, whom Dany assumed was Davos and Marya. Jon glanced over at Dany, obviously on to her little scheme, but she only smiled.

“Happy birthday, Jon!” Marya kissed his cheek, and Davos shook his hand.

“It’s your birthday?” Shireen asked, with a surprised look on her face.

“It is,” Jon confirmed.

“How old are you?” She asked.

“Quite old enough,” Jon said.

“40?” Shireen asked. Jon threw back his hand and laughed heartily.

“Not quite that old.”

            They walked around the park with Davos and Marya and Shireen for a while. Dany clung to Jon’s hand, happy to see him engaging with his friends and enjoying himself, the worry lines on his brow relaxed. Eventually, Davos and Marya said that they needed to get home and feed Shireen lunch and so they parted ways. When they left, Jon pulled Dany close and kissed her.

“I suppose we should get some lunch,” Jon said.

“We should,” Dany gave him a conspiratorial grin.

“I suppose you have a plan for that as well?”

“I do.”

“Are you going to tell me?”

“I am not.”

Jon laughed and followed her lead back to the car.

            When they arrived at Sam and Gilly’s, Gilly and Little Sam were waiting for them on the porch and waved. Gilly hugged Jon.

“Happy Birthday!”

“Thanks, Gil,” Jon hugged her back. Little Sam clapped his hands sensing the excitement.

“Come in, come in, lunch is almost ready,” Gilly said.

“Oh, Gilly, you didn’t have to do that,” Jon said.

“We wanted to, Jon, we love you,” Gilly said, and ushered them into the kitchen. Sam was stirring a pot of something but threw his arms around Jon and wished him a happy birthday. Dany felt her heart swell with affection for the father of her child. Absentmindedly, she touched her still flat belly, and wanted to cry. This was the life she had always imagined, when she was a sad and lonely little girl, dreaming of the house with the red door.

            After eating one of Jon’s favorite meals, and visiting with Sam and Gilly for a while, the time had come to move on, if they were to accomplish all her goals in this one day. After Sam and Gilly’s, they stopped by Sansa’s work where Sansa wished him happy birthday and told him how much she loved him and was thankful for him. Then they went and played cards with Arya and Gendry at a coffee shop.

“I love you, big brother,” Dany heard Arya whisper in Jon’s ear, as she hugged him goodbye.

            Their next stop was Robb and Margaery’s apartment. Robb gave Jon a new book that apparently the two had been discussing, and Margaery, as exuberant and dramatic as ever, threw her arms around him and wished him the best year of his life. They left Marge and Robb’s for the last stop on Dany’s list.

“You didn’t have to do all this,” Jon said softly, his voice thick with emotion.

“Everyone wanted to do something for you, Jon,” Dany said and gave his hand a squeeze, while keeping her eye on the road, “Your friends and family love you, Jon, they wanted to celebrate you. You are worth celebrating.”

Jon nodded, looking almost like he might cry.

“Robb suggested a surprise party…” Dany giggled, trying to lighten the mood.

“Robb does love a good surprise party,” Jon chuckled, with a playful roll of his eyes.

“But Sam and I concocted this plan,” Dany explained.

“Well, it was a good plan,” Jon kissed the top of her hand, “Thank you.”

“The night is not over yet; we still have dinner.”

“Oh?”

“Yes.”

 

            Dany pulled the car into the driveway of the Stark manor and Rickon, in keeping with his usual personality, met them at the car and launched himself at Jon.

“Happy Birthday!”

Jon laughed and threw the boy over his shoulder and the trio entered the house, where Ned and Cat were waiting with dinner prepared for them.

“Happy Birthday,” Ned said, hugging Jon, “We’re proud of you, son.”

They laughed and talked for hours, and finally Dany helped Catelyn put Rickon to bed, and when they went back downstairs Catelyn handed Dany the little box, she had kept for her, and gave her a knowing smile. Ned and Catelyn exchanged a look and made toward the living room.

“Come out on the back porch with me,” Dany took his hand in hers.

“But…” Jon gestured toward Ned and Cat’s retreating form.

“Just for a few minutes.”

“Alright.”

            Dany took a few deep steadying breaths, and they sat down together on the porch swing that she loved so much. She felt somewhat shy and nervous, but also warm and happy and content. He squeezed her hand. Dany smiled at him.

“Because you did not tell me about your birthday, I did not have time for shopping,” Dany playfully scolded him. He smiled and rubbed her back. Dany brought forward the little box and gave it to him. Her hands were shaking a bit.

“What’s this?” He asked.

“Open it.”

Jon opened the box and looked down at what was inside. Dany glanced over and saw the positive pregnancy test staring up at him. He blinked a couple of times as if not able to comprehend what he was seeing. Jon looked up at her, then back at the box.

“Dany…” He started.

“Jon?”

“Dany, are you….?” He did not seem able to form complete sentences, and Dany giggled.

“Jon,” She said, turning to face him, “I’m pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Dany studied his face. His cheeks had turned an adorable shade of pink.

“Jon Snow, are you blushing over getting me pregnant?” She laughed, as happy tears started to fill her eyes.

“No,” He said, but his cheeks only blushed more. Dany laughed, and then felt her heart melt as tears filled Jon’s eyes, and he gathered her in his arms and hugged her tightly, planting a kiss into her hair. Then he kissed her temple, and her cheeks, and her nose, and her forehead, before capturing her mouth. Dany sunk her hands into his hair and kissed him back, letting her body melt against his. As he slowly pulled away, she felt him drop his hand and lay it over her belly just below her navel. The sweetness in the gesture so overwhelming another gush of tears escaped her.

“You won’t be able to feel anything yet,” She teased, as she wiped at her eyes, and then at his, before stroking his beard. His hand remained on her stomach.

He chuckled, nuzzling his nose against her hair, “We’re going to have a baby.”

“Yes, Jon, we’re going to have a baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Jon POV, thoughts on fatherhood


	52. Craving (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a quick mini-chapter update. Everyone's enthusiasm for the last few chapters has been so encouraging and keeps me excited about writing this story. Thank you so much!

Ned Stark was the only father Jon had ever known, he also happened to be the best father that Jon knew. As a boy, Jon had sought to imitate Ned, thinking that if he were somehow more like Ned, than that would prevent him from being like his own biological father. He, as he had grown older of course, grew out of his need to imitate Ned, becoming more secure and became more of his own man, but that did not prevent the occasional fear from creeping in that whatever flaw had caused his biological father to abandon him and his mother, was somehow a part of him. Shaking himself out of such dark thoughts, Jon put the book on fatherhood back on the shelf next to _What to Expect When You’re Expecting_ , and quickly moved away from the aisle full of baby books before Robb found him there, as they had not told anyone yet about the baby.

Dany and Sansa were studying at his and Dany’s place, and Margaery was preparing for the arrival of her grandmother, and so Robb had more or less kidnapped Jon on a wood chopping venture that had ended in a frigid thunderstorm, which subsequently had brought them to the bookstore.

“Do you need help putting together the furniture that you and Dany ordered for the bedroom?” Robb asked, as Jon joined Robb in perusing the history books.

“If you want,” Jon said, “There is not a whole lot to put together. I think there is only a bedframe, and maybe a bookshelf, the dresser is obviously already in one piece.”

“We could have built those things,” Robb exclaimed, shaking his disapprovingly, as he made his book selection.

“And when do you have time to build a whole suite of furniture?” Jon laughed, “You are getting married in less than two months now.”

“We should at least build her a desk, she will need a desk to do homework,” Robb said, “We don’t do enough building together anymore.”

Jon had to smile at the thought of building Lyanna a desk for her to do her homework. Even though nothing was finalized, he and Dany both had decided that they still wanted to do whatever they could to help Lyanna and so had determined to go ahead with the paperwork for fostering, even with the baby on the way. Dany had been quite adamant, and Jon had easily agreed.

“Perhaps we should get you married first then we can discuss desk building,” Jon said.

Robb agreed with a laugh, “Fair enough.”

 

            Jon and Robb stopped to get ingredients for dinner at the grocery store before making it back to Jon’s apartment, to find Dany and Sansa baking.

“I thought the two of you were supposed to be studying?” Robb teased.

“Dany wanted chocolate chips,” Sansa explained, “And I could not say that I disagreed with her, so I decided that we should make cookies.”

Jon gave Dany a quizzical look, which she returned with a blush and a secret smile just for him.

“Well, Jon and I were going to make steaks for the four of us but now you have dirtied up the kitchen, Sans,” Robb playfully scolded, and reached into the mixing bowl to get a taste of the cookie batter. Sansa smacked his knuckles with a spoon. Robb yelped in surprise.

“Well, we’re almost done, and then you can proceed to dirty up the kitchen,” She snapped, “And if you complain about it again, you can’t have any cookies.”

Robb looked thoroughly offended, and Jon and Dany laughed. As Robb started to prepare the steaks, and Sansa finished up the cookies. Dany sidled up to Jon with a sweet grin, that almost undid him. She looked a little embarrassed, when she leaned in closer so the other two would not hear.

“Did you get what I texted you about?” She whispered, conspiratorially. Jon tried not to laugh, as he discreetly handed her the jar of pickles from his grocery bag. Pickles and chocolate, Jon cringed, he did not know much about pregnancy but had not questioned her odd craving for pickles, which he did not point out that she did not like, but at the thought of pickles and chocolate he could have thrown up himself.

 

After dinner, Robb and Sansa left, and Jon and Dany lay in bed together. Jon was stroking her back as she shivered in the aftermath of a particularly bad bout of morning sickness, except it was nighttime. As they lay there, they discussed the logistics of their rapidly burgeoning family.

"Our lease is up in June, if we need too, we can always rent a bigger place, or even look into buying a house," Jon said. Before Dany's accident they had been planning and saving to buy a house after Dany graduated law school, but now that Dany's graduation was being delayed due to the accident, they had not talked at all about when they would buy a house.

"I just don't want a lack of space to be the reason we can't help Lyanna," Dany said softly.

"We have, what maybe around seven or eight months until the baby comes?"

"Probably closer to seven."

"We're clever, we will have a solution by then," Jon chuckled, continuing to stroke her back. Dany smiled.

"Do you think she will like being here with us?" Dany asked, her voice betraying some insecurity.

"I hope so," Jon was truly not sure how Lyanna was going to take coming to live with them. He was trying not to get his hopes up, as he knew Lyanna was just as likely to run away from them as she had other foster homes, and if she did he knew they would take her away from them, but he also wanted to believe they had built some trust in their time together and maybe… just maybe he and Dany might be able to get through to her. They also still had to pass some tests and a home study before they were even approved as a foster home. So many things were still in process but right now, Jon wanted to lie here in bed with Dany and stroke her back for as long as he could.

"I need to make an appointment with an OB/GYN," Dany groaned, she rolled over and looked up at him a vulnerable look on her eyes, "I hate going to the doctor."

"I know you do, love," Jon gently laid his hand on her stomach and she smiled and covered his hand with her own.

"I'm nervous," she confessed. Jon leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"That's alright."

"You will go with me, right?"

"Of course, I will."

"Jon?" Dany squeezed his hand, "what if..."

"What if what?"

"What if...." she turned her face away from him, "I've lost a baby before," she nearly whimpered. Jon felt his heart constrict, and he reached over, his hand cupping her cheek, urging her to look at him.

"That's why we are going to see a doctor this week, and make sure you are okay, and everything is on track," Jon said trying to sound confident for her sake. She nodded.

"Then we will take it one step at a time," Jon assured her, "with the baby, with Lyanna, with life... together, alright?"

She smiled then, "alright."

Jon kissed her softly, and slipped his hand under her pajama top, which she rolled up with a sweet grin on her face. Jon delicately brushed his fingertips over the smooth skin of her stomach, still a little awestruck that she was pregnant, that they had made a baby together. Dany threaded her fingers through his hair, pushing his curls away from his face. He met her gaze.

“You are going to be a good father,” She whispered.

“Yeah?” Jon said, a part of him wanted to hide how vulnerable that compliment made him feel. He had always been good with kids, which is why he made a good social worker, but Jon knew that raising a kid was entirely different from working with them in a professional environment. That nagging voice inside his head once again interrupted his sweet contentment with the buried fear that he was flawed somehow because of his biological father.

“Did I ever tell you that?” She asked suddenly, “Before the accident I mean?”

Jon smiled at her, “Yes, you did.”

“Good, because you will be,” Dany said resolutely. She stroked his hair. He loved the way she touched him, “Sansa and I tried to sort through some flashes of memories I’ve been having lately.”

“Oh?” Jon was surprised, she had not mentioned anything to him.

“They were simple things really, not huge life altering memories,” Dany explained, she continued to pet his hair, which made him grin, “But they made me feel hope again, that maybe I might recover more of them.”

Jon nuzzled his face into her hair, not sure what to say, but wishing he could solve the world’s problems for her.

“I still have that dream occasionally about the pier,” she mentioned casually.

“Our first date?”

She nodded, absentmindedly, and she snuggled up against his chest. Jon looked down at her. Her thoughts seemed far away, rifling through what she could make out of the past, but as Jon looked at her, and studied her still bare, flat stomach, all he could think about was the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: I have not entirely decided what chapter will come next, but it will be either the visit to the OB/GYN, or bridesmaid's dress shopping with Margaery and Olenna Tyrell. Maybe Both, depending on if I decide to make them both from Dany's POV. Whatever the case, more is coming, and I am going to try and get it out this weekend, if I don't manage to get it this weekend, please hang in there, I have not given up.


	53. Questions (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a surge of creativity today and managed to write this chapter! It's not my best, but I hope everyone enjoys! Olenna Tyrell, as with most witty characters, was a challenge to write, I hope I did her at least semi-justice. Thanks so much for reading!

“What’s wrong?” Dany asked breathlessly. Jon was on top of her, looking down at her with his palm planted on the bed holding himself up. After having been exceedingly tender with her, and so careful not to jostle her or put too much pressure on her still tender breasts, he had now suddenly stopped all movement.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” He asked sweetly, brushing some hair away from her face.

“No, Jon, I’m fine, please just….” Exasperated, she grasped his shoulders and tried to pull him down closer to her.

“I just can’t help but think that this can’t be good for…” He started, gesturing to where his body was tucked atop hers, putting a very slight pressure on her belly.

“Jon, you are barely touching me right now,” Dany said in frustration, her passion quickly fizzling out as Jon seemed to be second guessing every move he made, “If it will make you feel better, we can swap,” her frustration was plainly audible in her voice. He looked wounded at her irritable tone. For the last few days between morning sickness, and bloating, and even a bout of constipation, Dany had not felt like hopping into bed with Jon at all, let alone to make love. She groaned to think that she was already feeling this way and was not very far along.

“You started this, you know,” Dany teased him, trying not to be irritated. _He had started it_ , she thought impatiently, it was the middle of the night, and he had wrapped his arm around her and started nibbling at her neck, and it had all gone downhill from there. Her heart softened though as she could tell that Jon’s passion too had started to cool and he was looking down at her with such tender concern that her heart could have burst.

“You know there is no reason for us to stop doing this,” Dany reached up and stroked his bearded cheek.

“I know, in my head at least,” Jon confessed as he flopped down on the bed beside her. Dany chuckled and snuggled up next to him.

“You are not going to hurt me or the baby. You can’t even see a bump yet,” Dany said, “You know I’m going to get bigger.”

Jon gave her an exasperated look this time, “I know how it works.”

“Do you?” She teased again, knowing she was pushing his limits a bit. He simply glared at her.

“You’ve just been so sick lately…” He tried to explain, but Dany interrupted him.

“So, my being sick disgusts you now, is that it?” She snapped, though she knew she was not being entirely fair.

“No!” He was quick to amend, and looked annoyed with her, “I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable, or feel like we have too… because we don’t if you don’t want to.”

“Do you not want me?”

“No, gods, that’s not what I mean,” Jon huffed, “Dany, I want you… always, especially now…you have no idea…I just want you to know that if you ever don’t want too, we don’t have too.”

Dany felt her heart soften even more. He looked so vulnerable. She reached up and stroked his cheek, feeling guilty for getting frustrated with him.

“I’m sorry for being impatient with you.”

“Its alright,” Jon kissed the top of her head.

“No, it’s not,” Dany snuggled closer, “but thank you anyway.”

            They laid entwined in each other’s arms and were silent until Ghost jumped onto the bed to join them. Jon laughed.

“He would enjoy having a big backyard I think,” He said. Dany smiled.

“Yes.”

“If we end up needing to rent a bigger place, we could look into renting a house instead of an apartment.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“Any luck locating Lyanna’s dog?”

“Not yet,” Jon said, “There is no mention of him in her paperwork, I’m still looking but I’m worried he may have been taken to a shelter.”

“Oh, no,” Dany thought that might break her heart. She scratched Ghost behind the ears to console herself.

“Davos did say, that they are closer to finding her father.”

“Really?” Dany felt a strange pang of both hopefulness and disappointment. She was not sure how she could feel both at the same time and decided to attribute it to her pregnancy hormones. She wanted to find Lyanna’s father, of course, but another part of her, perhaps a more selfish part, wanted Lyanna to be with them.

“Even if we do find him,” Jon said, his voice suddenly terse, “It’s hard for me to accept the idea of giving her to a man who has not shown one spark of interest in her wellbeing for the last ten years.”

“It’s possible he did not know about her.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Jon said, and then continued somewhat angrily, “Do you know she doesn’t even know who he is?”

“Well, that could be just as much her mother’s fault as his.”

She felt Jon’s body go tense, but he said nothing. Dany sensed that this conversation suddenly was no longer just about Lyanna, but she was not sure if she should ask him. _Did he know who his father was?_ Dany supposed she knew the answer to that question at one point and hated that she did not know now.

 

            Jon opened Dany’s car door, and then Sansa’s as he was dropping them off at Robb and Marge’s and exchanging them for Robb. The ladies were going to pick out bridesmaid dresses, at which Arya had scoffed and commissioned them to order her one in her size of whatever dress they chose. After shopping, everyone was meeting back at the Stark home, and Catelyn was preparing a meal in honor of meeting Olenna Tyrell, Marge’s grandmother. She had practically raised Margaery. Robb and Marge had both warned everyone that Olenna was something of a tart-tongued character, but nothing they had said had prepared Dany for meeting Olenna in person. Olenna was a slight, elderly woman, older than Dany had imagined she would be, and she wore a hat and silk scarf as if she stepped out of a magazine from a hundred years ago.

“Well, Grandmother, after you ladies are done shopping, we have plans…” Robb, attempting to take charge as he was prone to do, attempted to inform the old woman, but she cut him off.

“Do shut up, dear, men are much more agreeable when they are not speaking,” Olenna patted Robb on the cheek, affectionately. Dany had to bite back a laugh.

“And what are you laughing at?”

“Nothing,” Dany mumbled, dropping her gaze to the ground. Marge introduced them each in turn to Olenna, who gave them each an appraising glare, as if she were assessing cattle at a livestock show.

“My goodness, aren’t you a pretty one?” Olenna said to Jon, and Dany had to suppress a giggle as Jon blushed to the very roots of his pretty, dark hair, “Now that introductions have been made, ladies, we should be on our way, we would not want to be late to Mrs. Stark’s dinner, that would be bad form.”

Olenna gave Robb a cheeky grin and led the girls away in a row as if she were a hen and they her chicks.

 

“That dress is absolutely atrocious, my dear,” Olenna exclaimed, as Sansa was handing Marge a dress, which she promptly returned to the rack at Olenna’s words. Dany and Sansa exchanged amused expressions.

“You,” Olenna indicated Dany, “You need to try on this one.” The elderly woman handed her a dress, that Dany could tell would flatter her figure quite well and smiled.

“I love that one,” Sansa said.

“No need to agree with me, just to win my favor, my dear.”

Sansa snapped her mouth shut. Chuckling, Dany took the dress into the dressing room and attempted to put it on. It was too small around her chest.

“Sans,” Dany called, “Sans?”

“Yes?” Sansa’s red head appeared at the changing room door.

“I need a bigger dress,” Dany whispered, not wanting Marge or Olenna to overhear.

“What?”

“I need a bigger dress.”

“It’s not your size?”

Dany felt trapped, “It doesn’t fit around my…my…chest.”

“Alright,” Sansa looked puzzled as she scurried off to find another dress.

Sansa reappeared with the next size up, and to Dany’s horror, this one did not fit around her chest either. She knew her bras had started to get a little tighter but had not realized how much her body had already begun to change with the pregnancy. A panic-stricken thought occurred to her then. By the time of the wedding, she would be well into her second trimester if she had done her math correctly. She would likely have a bump by then. How was she supposed to choose the appropriate size dress today, for a body that was going to be growing steadily every week?

“Shit,” She cursed under her breath, and pulled her phone out and started to text Jon. _What was he going to do about it?_ Dany rolled her eyes at herself and threw her phone back in her purse in frustration.

“Dany, you alright in there?” Sansa asked.

“Um…. Sans, I think…” Dany huffed, “I think I need one more size up.”

“Um, really? Okay,” Sansa’s voice seemed disbelieving, but Dany did not want to reveal her secret yet. Sansa brought her the next size, and when she tried it on, she groaned inwardly. The part around her chest now fit fine, but the rest of the dress swallowed her still petite frame. Would she fill it out by the time of the wedding? What would she do if her breasts went up another size?

“What seems to be the trouble ladies?” Marge asked with a laugh.

“Dany is having trouble finding a dress to fit her,” Sansa explained.

“Really?”

Dany rolled her eyes from behind the changing room door. _Why was that so hard to believe?_

“Let me see,” Marge said and started to open the door.

“No!” Dany panicked and slammed the door shut. _Would they be able to tell?_

“Okay, okay,” Marge and Sansa, thankfully, both laughed and did not question her.

            As they were filling out order forms for their dresses, Sansa and Marge were finished before Dany and started perusing other wedding items like giggling little girls. Dany stared at the box on the form which required her size.

“How many months is it then?” Olenna had crept up on her, startling Dany out of her thoughts.

“Excuse me?”

“How many months?”

“I don’t know what you mean…” Dany stuttered over her words.

“Oh, don’t play innocent with me,” Olenna chuckled, and sat down beside Dany, “That pretty lad of yours has gotten you pregnant, men are troublesome like that.”

Dany blushed.

“I’m quite old, my dear, I’d know the look anywhere.”

“We haven’t told anyone,” Dany confessed quietly, seeing no sense in lying.

“So, I gathered, as I am sure those two little roses over there, would have long ago informed me,” Olenna pointed toward Sansa and Marge.

“Around two months I think,” Dany said.

“Well,” Olenna actually smiled at her and patted her hand, “You will be showing a bit by the time of the wedding.”

“Probably.”

“Write down a couple sizes bigger than you think you need, and the week of the wedding, I will personally see it tailored to your needs,” Olenna then got up and began the process of herding the girls out of the store.

 

            They arrived at the Starks right on time, and Dany immediately found Jon’s arms. For the last few days, she had flip flopped back and forth between not wanting him to touch her and being, what she felt, was obnoxiously clingy.

“Did the four of you have fun?” He asked, as she buried her face against his chest and inhaled his piney, soap scent.

“My boobs are too big,” she whispered, with a whiny chuckle. He seemed taken aback but the rumble in his chest indicated that he was laughing.

“What?”

“You heard me,” she moaned.

“Aye, I did,” Jon rubbed her back with a laugh, “I noticed too.”

Dany looked up and saw a teasing but lusty, look in his eye.

“I quite like them.”

Dany playfully smacked his arm for impertinence then went to seek out Rickon who had summoned her into the living room.

            After dinner, Dany helped Catelyn clean up a few pots and pans while the rest were playing a game out in the cold back yard.

“Have you been to the doctor yet?” Cat asked.

“Tomorrow,” Dany replied.

“Good, how are you and Jon handling everything?”

“I think we are handling it fine, we’re excited, nervous, hopeful,” Dany said, “all normal things for expecting parents, right? Except Jon has a bit of a tendency to treat me like I’m made of glass.”

Catelyn smiled, understandingly, “Ned was the same way the first few months that I was pregnant with Robb, don’t worry, he will get used to the fact that you are pregnant and that it is normal and that he won’t break you.”

Dany blushed slightly, realizing that Cat saw right through her veiled implications.

Catelyn gave her a sweet motherly smile, “If you need anything, or have any questions, you know that I am always here for you.”

“Thank you, Aunt Cat,” Dany and Cat were both startled by uproarious laughter from outside. They looked out the window to see where obviously there was some sort of victory occurring as Jon had hoisted Rickon up onto his shoulders, and they appeared quite celebratory. Dany and Cat laughed.

“I always imagined Jon would be a good father,” Cat said with a nostalgic smile. Dany felt her heart warm at those words, “Of course when he was in the military, he adamantly swore that the military would be his family, I wasn’t sure he’d ever settle down.”

Dany was not sure what to say. Jon was notoriously private, but he generally seemed happy to share when she asked. There were two subjects however he was always quite vague about: the military, and his parents.

“Aunt Cat, can I ask you a question? About Jon, I mean.”

“Yes?”

“Who was Jon’s father?” The words tumbled out before she had time to really think them through. Cat seemed to weigh her response.

“As far as I know, he was a business man, here on business, married with two kids at home, that’s all Ned and Lyanna ever told me,” Cat said, “Lyanna and I were not the closest of sisters-in-law, which was mostly my fault, as I harbored a lot of judgment then toward her for having a fling with a married man.”

Dany nodded, listening patiently.

“I have always regretted not becoming closer to her, it was one of those things, where you always think you have more time, and then all of a sudden that time is gone.”

“Did Lyanna never talk about his father?”

“Never,” Cat said, “It was a rather sore subject.”

Dany looked out the window at the beautiful, gentle man who had so completely captured her heart.

“I asked Ned once,” Cat said, “But he got so angry about it, that I never asked again.”

“So, I assume Jon does not know him, or who he is.”

“As far as Jon knows, Lyanna took that secret to her grave,” Catelyn said softly, “I suspect that Ned knows who his father is, but he’s never told a soul as far as I know.”

“Jon’s never been curious?”

“I don’t know,” Catelyn looked wistfully out the window at her family in the yard, “That is something you will have to ask him.”

“I wish I could remember if I had ever had these conversations with him,” Dany sighed, feeling guilt well up inside her. She desperately wished she could remember all these details about Jon. They had been trying to make up for it, but it took time.

“Your memory loss is not your fault, sweetheart, you have to stop blaming yourself for that,” Cat touched her cheek, and Dany felt those wretched tears well in her eyes again.

 

The next morning Dany flipped through maternity magazines at the doctor’s office. Jon sat beside her working on some of his paperwork as they waited.

"How do you feel about home birth?" Dany asked Jon with a teasing grin. Jon looked so terrified at the prospect that she nearly laughed.  Sweet man that he was, though, he put on a brave smile and said, "We will do whatever you want, love.”

Dany hated hospitals and doctors, but she was not sure she could give birth at home and applauded the women who could. A knot of anxiety was forming once again inside her. Part of her wanted to leave the office right now, and pretend that everything was perfect, and nothing could hurt them or their baby. Irrationally, she was afraid that going back there into that office was going to shatter the beautiful dream world she had let her mind create since finding out she was pregnant.

"Dae-- Daenerys Targaryen?" The nurse called stumbling over Dany's exotic name. Jon took her hand and offered her a smile.

The appointment felt like an interrogation. Dany had never been asked so many questions in her life A parade of tests were then performed, blood was drawn, notes were made on clip boards. She was handed an array of pamphlets and papers about diets, and food she could not eat. By the time the doctor told her to lay down on the table for her first sonogram, Dany was exhausted.

“Almost finished,” Jon said with a gentle smile, as he helped her up on the table. Dany held her breathe, somehow knowing that if this was all a dream this would be where she woke up. The doctor started the sonogram and Dany had a death grip on Jon’s hand. He stroked her knuckles with his thumb, as they both watched the screen. Then suddenly, there was a sound that could be heard coming through the monitor: a beating sound. Dany’s breath caught in her chest.

“There’s the heartbeat,” the doctor said with a smile. Dany released the breath she had been holding and looked up at Jon. He had tears in his eyes.


	54. Timing (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was really struggling with some writers block this weekend. I have a lot planned for later chapters but have been wrestling with the how to get the story there, so I wrote this chapter as an effort to get to where I want the story to be. I hope it does not feel rushed, or boring as it's mainly fluffy, but I needed to write something in order to get out of my writers block. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

 

Robb was cooking dinner for them, and Jon sat on the floor of their spare room putting the finishing touches on the desk they had built for Lyanna. Robb’s wedding was only a few weeks away, but Robb had insisted that they build the desk before Lyanna was brought home with them.

 _“She’s going to be my first niece after all,”_ Robb had said, which had warmed Jon’s heart to know his family had already accepted Lyanna as one of them. Due to Westerosi law, until they found Lyanna’s father, she could not be adopted, but at least Jon, and Dany and his family could be there for her in the meantime.

Jon looked up at Dany who was on the little twin bed snoring softly. She had been doing homework as he and Robb worked but she had fallen asleep, and Jon did not have the heart to wake her. It had been a few weeks since their visit to the doctor, and it seemed they had been busy ever since. Their home study for fostering and other tests had all been expedited thanks to Davos, and they passed. Jon’s paperwork had gone through quickly, likely owing to him being a social worker himself and working with children in the field. The social worker in charge of their case, however, after finding out about Dany’s accident and amnesia had required a more thorough psychological workup for Dany, which they had accomplished this week. As much as they were both ready to bring Lyanna home, Jon was thankful for the few extra weeks they had had for Dany to get used to being pregnant, and for some of her anxieties over miscarriage to dissipate, before they were foster parents.

            Jon had been taken off of Lyanna’s case when they had begun the process of trying to become her foster parents, and so he had relatively little idea of how she was doing and he hoped that she understood why he had not been allowed to come around to see her. He had not been told who the new social worker was who had been assigned to her case, but now they were just waiting for a final phone call about whether their final paperwork had been approved. They could have Lyanna as early as the end of this week, if everything went smoothly, which he did not anticipate any problems.

“I don’t feel good,” Dany’s soft, sleepy voice interrupted Jon’s thoughts. Jon gave her a gentle smile.

“Upset stomach?” Jon asked.

“My hips and my back hurt,” Dany said, “And my head.”

He could hear Robb whistling in the kitchen and so Jon pushed the bedroom door closed just enough to hide them from view from the hallway, before scooting over to the bedside. Jon kissed her forehead and kneaded her hip with his hand.

“And I’m hungry,” Dany giggled, “Your child is a ravenous little thing.”

Jon chuckled at that. Tenderly, Jon slid his hands up from her hip to the hem of her shirt and rolled it up just enough to reveal her navel. He pressed a kiss there.

“You need to let your mother get some rest, little one,” Jon whispered, feeling his heart warm. Dany’s fingers threaded through his hair, petting him, “We are getting ready to bring your big sister home…” Jon kissed her belly again, before sliding his hand up to feel. He always imagined he could feel the baby, but he knew it was most likely his imagination.

“Do you think I’m starting to show a little? I think I am,” Dany whispered, looking almost shy, with a sweet grin on her face. Jon nodded in response. He ran his hand over her belly, there was a slight, almost imperceptible curvature to her stomach, she was starting to show just a bit. Jon kissed her abdomen right above her navel once again.

“We can’t wait to meet you,” He whispered against her stomach, “Do you think the baby can hear us?”

Dany grinned down at him, which Jon decided to take as an affirmative, whether it was true or not.

“You are so loved, little one,” He crooned, his heart full to bursting, his hand still resting on her little bump right below her navel. Dany’s eyes suddenly shot up to the doorway and she let out a little squeal of surprise.

“What the hell?” Robb’s voice broke into their moment. Jon quickly covered her belly with her shirt again, and Dany erupted into a fit of laughter, her face blushing furiously. Jon groaned, with mock annoyance.

“You really have the worst timing; do you know that?” Jon asked Robb, with an exasperated laugh.

“Well, I did not expect for the two of you to be getting all cozy, when I’m just in the kitchen!” Robb defended himself, “What is going on?”

Jon exchanged a look with Dany.

“We might as well tell him,” Dany said with a smile. Robb looked between the two of them.

“You can’t tell anyone!” Jon snapped, though his confidence in Robb’s abilities to keep a secret, especially a good secret, was not strong. Robb liked nothing better than to spread good news.

“Alright.”

“We’re pregnant,” Jon scrunched his nose up at that assessment, “Well, Dany’s pregnant, we’re going to have a baby.”

Robb seemed confused at first, as if he did not know what to say.

“Ned and Aunt Cat already know, and our social worker obviously,” Dany further explained, “But we are not ready to announce it just yet.”

Robb’s face broke into a wide grin, and clapped Jon on the back so hard that Jon nearly fell forward. Dany laughed.

“We should build a crib!” Robb exclaimed, making Dany laugh harder. Jon only rolled his eyes and wondered if he had ever felt so happy in his life, as he did at that moment.

 

            Jon was spooning Dany the next morning, one hand resting protectively over her little bump, while the other was wrapped around her, caressing her breast.

“Gently,” Dany whispered, covering the hand on her breast, and slowing his movement. Jon kissed into her hair, then the top of her spine.

“Sorry,” He murmured, he knew her breasts were still tender and so endeavored to be careful with her. While Jon had blushed like a green boy, their doctor had assured him quite adamantly that it was quite safe for them to make love while she was pregnant, and had suggested this position as one that would not be overtaxing for either of them, and would not put unnecessary pressure on her growing belly. Jon slid his hand to the waistband of her pajamas.

“May I?” he asked. She had been so achy, and sick lately, that they had not been intimate in a week, and he did not want to pressure her. Dany pressed her bottom back against him, causing him to suck in a breath.

“Yes, Jon, please….”

Jon slipped his hand under the waist band and managed to work her pajamas and panties down over her hips, and she giggled as he struggled with his own, as he wanted to remain pressed up close to her.

“Do you need help?” She teased. Jon chuckled, and nipped at her shoulder.

“Cheeky girl,” he muttered, as he managed to free himself from his pajamas. Jon wrapped his arms back around her, one hand drifting once again to protectively cover her little bump, while the other drifted to rest atop her head, smoothing hair out of her face as he pressed inside her. Dany moaned softly, and they moved together slowly, and steadily, at the pace they needed.

“I love you,” Jon whispered against her hair.

“And I love you.”

            Afterward, Jon stroked her side, and kneaded her aching back and hips. He noticed she was still trembling slightly in the aftermath of their lovemaking.

“Are you feeling any better today?” Jon whispered against her hair.

“A little,” Dany said, sleepily, “They do say the second trimester is a little easier than the first and the third, so I am almost there.”

Jon nodded, it was hard for him to see her so tired and sick throughout the day. He wished he could make it easier for her.

“We should start looking into birthing classes,” Dany said.

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“I want to do it naturally.”

Jon hoped she did not notice him give a little cringe, he found the prospect rather terrifying, but was not going to argue with her, “We will do it however you want, love.”

She nodded and said, “We need to get up and get our day started.”

“Yes,” Jon agreed, and Dany pulled herself from his arms and went to the bathroom.

Just as Jon started to rise, his phone rang. It was their social worker. Jon answered it immediately and received the news they had been waiting to hear.

“Who was that?” Dany asked as she came back from the bathroom.

“It was our case manager,” Jon said grinning, “The final paperwork has been approved.”

Dany squealed with delight and threw her arms around him.

“Do they have an estimated date for her to come?”

“They want to bring her as soon as possible,” Jon did not add that the expediency had to do with her once again not eating at the group home, “They thought it best to bring her on Saturday, so that she is not tired from being at school all day, and I agreed because I prefer the idea of us both being able to be here all day with her that first day.” Dany nodded.

“I’m so happy!” She said, “Are you happy?”

Jon smiled and reached for her, pulling her into a kiss, “I am happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Lyanna moves in, and (if I have time) Missandei gives birth


	55. Ghost (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for all of your lovely comments! Reading everyone's enthusiasm and hopes for this story keep me motivated and inspired to write!

* * *

Dany and Sansa walked along the aisles of the grocery store. As Dany was off class and work on Fridays, she had invited Sansa to shop with her. She had wanted to make sure there was plenty of food and snacks at the apartment for Lyanna. Dany wanted everything to be perfect, especially for the first day.

“You are feeding one little girl, not an army,” Sansa said, as she put back two of the three packages of cookies that Dany had put in their basket.

“I don’t know what kind of food she likes,” Dany said, feeling somewhat helpless. Having never known her own mother, or her father for that matter, Dany felt a creeping insecurity over her own ability to be a good mother and parent. Jon had excellent role models in Ned and Aunt Cat, but Dany felt a little out of her depth.

“Well, then maybe, just get what you need for tomorrow, and then on Sunday, all three of you can go to the grocery store and get her things that she likes?” Sansa suggested, “It could be a family outing.”

Dany had not considered that, “That’s a good idea.”

“Thank you, I do have them sometimes,” Sansa laughed.

They continued through the store, Dany occasionally throwing items in the basket, and mentally blaming the baby in her belly for her unnatural cravings. They started to walk past the fish market, and Dany caught a strong whiff of raw fish, and felt her lunch trying to come up.

“Oh, gods,” Dany groaned.

“What?”

“I need to move away from the smells.”

“What smells?”

“The fish smells,” Dany gagged, but managed to keep her food down as she hurried away from the fish market, with Sansa on her heels.

“What’s wrong, are you sick?” Sansa asked.

“No, no, the smell…was just overwhelming,” Dany said, and subconsciously ran her hand across her little bump. Sansa seemed skeptical of her excuse but made no further comment. By the time the two women made it back to Dany and Jon’s place, Jon had arrived home from work. He helped them bring in the groceries. While they were putting them away, Jon leaned over and kissed her, his hand caressed her stomach. Dany’s eyes immediately shot to Sansa who was studying them, but Sansa said nothing.

           

            Jon was asleep, and it was midnight when Dany and Ghost crept from bed. Tomorrow morning, Lyanna would be joining their family. Dany turned the light on in Lyanna’s bedroom and Ghost sat and watched her as she rearranged a few items on the bookshelf, fluffed the pillows on the bed, and double checked that her new desk had pencils and paper and crayons. Ned had brought over a few new sets of Legos that Rickon had picked out as a gift for Lyanna, explaining that Rickon was beside himself with excitement that he was going to have someone to play with who was near his age. Dany smiled, thinking about Lyanna and Rickon playing together in the big backyard at the Stark’s.

“Dany?” Jon's gruff, sleepy voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned to see him leaning against the doorframe. She went to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He held her for a moment, tipping her chin up to look into her eyes, “You’ve checked and double checked this room more times than I can count, love.”

“I just want it to be perfect.”

“Nothing is going to be perfect,” Jon said, “And that’s alright.”

“Jon, what if…” Dany’s voice trailed off, she did not want to voice her fears. _What if she was a bad mother?_ She had never had anyone be a mother to her, no one had ever taught her how to mother a child. Jon was going to be such a good father, and there was a part of her that was afraid that their abilities to parent were going to be grossly unbalanced.

“What if what, love?”

 _Did she tell him?_ Dany pressed her face against his chest and inhaled, as she did so often, adoring the gentle, strength that exuded from him. She had never known anyone quite like him.

“After the accident,” Dany started, “And I was relearning about you, and our life together, every time I went to bed I thought the next morning I would wake up to find that all of this…with you… was just a beautiful dream.”

Jon’s arms tightened around her.

“I never had a real family, or people who were kind to me growing up,” She said, “And somehow I thought you were too good to be true.”

“Dany, I …” He looked like he was going to argue. She smiled, knowing he was not very good at receiving compliments.

“You have given me the life I always dreamed of as a child,” Dany continued, “All I ever wanted was a home, and a family, the house with the red door, the childhood that I never had.”

“I didn’t give it to you, this is a life we built together, the life we both wanted,” Jon smiled at her, his big hands cupped her face, “And we are going to build a family together.”

Dany looked up at him and threaded her fingers through his beautiful dark curls, and the confession stumbled from her mouth, “Jon, what if I’m a bad mother?”

“Hey, hey,” Jon still cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks, “What’s this?”

“What if I screw up our baby’s life? What if I screw up Lyanna’s life?” Dany asked frantically, even as she felt a weight falling from her shoulders at the admission. Jon gave her a gentle smile.

“I can’t tell you how many times over the last few weeks, I have questioned my ability to be a good father.”

Dany looked up at him, surprised, “What do you have to worry about?” She chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

“I was abandoned by my biological father, my mother died when I was six,” Jon said. Her heart always broke for the child that Jon was, and Dany just wanted to hold him, but he still held her face in his hands gently stroking her cheeks with his thumbs, “Ever since I was old enough to think of having a family of my own, I was afraid that having a biological father like I had, meant that there would be a fundamental flaw in me.”

“Oh, Jon…” Dany just wanted to comfort him. His eyes were firm, but sweet.

“Daenerys, we are going to love our children with everything we have,” Jon continued, his voice strong and resolute, “And when we fail, and we will because there is no such thing as a perfect parent, we will get up and try again and again.”

“Together,” Dany said, the word had become their own. Jon smiled and kissed her forehead.

“Together,” He took her hand then, “Come back to bed, love.”

 

            Dany came in from walking Ghost and checking the mail to find Jon cooking breakfast, and with a smile, she placed his newspaper at his place setting at the table.

“They should be here soon,” Jon said, and gave her an encouraging smile. Ghost gently nuzzled his head against Dany’s abdomen, and she scratched behind his ears. Even though this was his first time being the foster parent, Jon had, obviously, been the social worker at many foster care placements, and so Dany intended to follow his lead. He gave her hand an encouraging squeeze.

            The doorbell rang and they went to answer it. Jon opened the door.

“Brienne,” Jon shook his coworker’s hand, seeming relieved. They had not known who Lyanna’s new case worker was after Jon. Dany, though, let her eyes drop to Brienne’s side to the little girl, who was staring stone faced into the apartment. Jon invited them in, and crouched down to Lyanna’s eye level, offering her a smile.

“Its good to see you,” He said, “I’ve missed our visits.” Lyanna nodded, and Dany’s heart clenched. Dark wispy hair framed Lyanna’s thin face, and Dany wondered if the child had not been sleeping, as she looked exhausted. Lyanna’s eyes flicked to her, Jon noticed too.

“This is Dany,” Jon said. Lyanna gave her a terse nod.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Dany said, “We are so happy you are here.” Lyanna seemed to be assessing her, which Dany found somewhat unnerving, but she forced herself not to flinch.

“Are you hungry or thirsty?” Jon asked, still crouching in front of the little girl. Lyanna shook her head. Jon’s mouth twitched in what Dany recognized as a smile that masked sadness, it was the type of smile he used to give her when she first came home from the hospital after the accident. Jon was not very outwardly expressive of his emotions, but Dany was learning to read him again, and what she saw in his smile was sadness.

“Would you like to see the house?” Jon asked, and Lyanna just stared him.

The moment was tense, more tense than Dany expected, but suddenly she saw Lyanna’s eyes light up for a moment. Ghost had appeared and was trotting over to her. The big white dog licked her, and Dany thought she saw a brief smile flicker across Lyanna’s steely face. Jon met Dany’s gaze, in silent encouragement.

Dany offered Lyanna her hand, Lyanna just stared at it, but Dany knew from all that Jon had told her of Lyanna that it had been a longshot, and so she did not let the silent refusal bother her.

“Would you like to see your room?” Dany offered. Ghost licked Lyanna again, as if to encourage her, and Dany had never felt so much relief to have the big dog there with them. Lyanna buried her hand in Ghost’s fur but looked to Dany and nodded.

Brienne stood to the side with an encouraging nod and allowed Jon and Dany to take the lead. Ghost stayed beside Lyanna as if sensing her anxiety. They walked her through the living room, showing her where they kept things. Dany had to smile as she thought of Rickon, who had graciously lent them some of his favorite kid movies, until they could find out what kind of movies Lyanna enjoyed. _She can’t watch movies about war like Jon_ , Rickon had said, _she’s just a kid._ They visited the kitchen next.

“We have breakfast cooked, whenever you are ready to eat,” Jon explained before opening up their little pantry, “And Dany has some snacks here for you, and tomorrow we will all go to the store together, and pick out some of your favorite foods.”

Dany admired Jon as he showed Lyanna where the plates and cups and silverware were, explaining that this was her home, and she did not need to ask permission to get a drink or a snack. They walked her down the hall, showed her the bathroom, and where they kept towels, and toothpaste. Jon next opened the door to their room.

“This is mine and Dany’s room, if you need anything, anytime, all you have to do is ask,” Jon said, “And if the door is closed, all you have to do is knock.”

Lyanna nodded. Finally, they arrived at what would be her room. She gave the room an appraising look. Dany could not read what was going through her mind.

“Dany, Brienne and I are going to go get the rest of your bags from the car,” Jon said, crouching to her level once again, “If you want to move anything around, we can. This is your room, and we want you to be comfortable here.” Lyanna nodded again. Ghost licked her hand.

“Ghost will help you get settled, and we will be right back with your bags,” said Jon, and the three adults left her in her room, so that she would have moment to compose herself and feel comfortable in her room.

            As they got Lyanna’s bags from Brienne’s car. Brienne brought them up to date on Lyanna’s last few days at the group home, in which she had stopped eating again.

“That’s first priority,” Brienne said, straightforwardly. Jon nodded, and Dany knew he did not need to be told that, but she also knew it was Brienne’s job to tell them that. They went back up to the apartment, and Brienne went and said goodbye to Lyanna, who seemed relatively unconcerned about Brienne’s departure. Finally, they were alone with Lyanna.

“Would you like help unpacking?” Jon asked. Lyanna shook her head. Dany was not sure they should leave her to unpack all alone but did not say anything.

“Would you like breakfast yet?” Jon asked, Lyanna shook her head again, “Alright then, we will be in the living room if you need us,” Jon said.

“Can Ghost stay?” It was the first words that had come out of the little girl’s mouth since she got there, and Dany felt hope welling in her heart again.

Jon smiled then big and real, “Yes, Ghost can stay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapters: Missandei gives birth, while Jon and Lyanna spend a day at the Starks


	56. Ghost, Part 2 (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter can be thought of more as a continuation of the last chapter, just from Jon's POV, rather than it's own chapter. 
> 
> I am still struggling with a touch of writer's block, and still did not quite get through Missy's birth like I wanted, so I wrote this in the meantime. Also, I feel like I'm struggling with the pacing of the story a bit, so I am sorry if this chapter is a little boring, but hopefully, it will start rolling again in the next few chapters. Thanks so much for your comments and your encouragements, I really appreciate everyone reading!

Lyanna had not made a spark of noise the entire time she had been in her room. Ghost had not left the little girl’s side, for which Jon was thankful. From his training as a social worker, he knew the first day with a new foster family, though not always the most difficult, carried special difficulties that other days may not have. Jon glanced over at Dany. She had fallen asleep on the sofa, with one hand cradling her little bump that was still unnoticeable above her clothes. Jon smiled at her, they had been through so much, but he loved her all the more for it.

Draping her favorite raggedy blanket over her, he went to the kitchen. Jon assembled a plate of food with various options and poured a glass of juice and walked down the hall. Lyanna’s door was partially open. He could see her laying in the middle of the floor with her arms wrapped around Ghost. She was sound asleep. He cracked open the door just enough to set the food down on her desk and whispered for Ghost to “stay.” When she arrived, she looked like she had not slept all night, and so he did not want to risk waking her. Dany slept in the living room, Lyanna and Ghost slept in her room, and so Jon grabbed the book he was in the middle of and partially closed the door to his room and read.

Several hours had passed when Jon was startled from his book hearing Lyanna’s bedroom door open a bit. From where he was sitting in his room, he was partially concealed but he could see her peek out her bedroom door and wait, as if listening for them. Jon remained very still, as she had not noticed him yet, and he wanted to see if she was going to brave going into the living room.

“Come with me, Ghost,” He heard her whisper in a voice that for the first time since he had met her sounded like a child’s voice. Ghost walked beside her, and they went into the bathroom. Jon went back to reading, until he heard the bathroom door open, and she snuck back into her room. Only a few minutes later, he saw her emerge from her bedroom again. To his relief, he saw that in her hands were the plate and cup he had taken to her, and both were empty, though standing in the hallway now, she seemed to be having an internal debate on how she should proceed. Acting as nonchalant as he could, he got up and went to the hallway. She looked startled to see him come out of his room, but quickly masked her emotions, and Jon pretended as if he had not been observing her for the past ten minutes.

“Did you rest well?” Jon asked, offering her a smile. Lyanna nodded. “Ghost likes a good napping buddy.”

Lyanna nodded again, which was breaking Jon’s heart. He had feared they would lose some of the progress they had made when he had been her social worker, but he had not expected that they would regress even further.

“Would you like to help take Ghost for a walk?” Jon offered, and casually took the dishes from her hands. Lyanna considered him for a moment, as if sizing him up, and Jon smiled, and did not wait for her reply.

“Grab your coat, and I will wake Dany up, and we can take Ghost for a walk. Now that you’ve made friends with him, I don’t think he will want to leave you behind,” he said. Lyanna, though she still said nothing, seemed amenable to this reasoning and she disappeared into her room.

            Jon put Lyanna’s dishes in the kitchen sink and went into the living room and gently shook Dany’s shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open.

“Would you like to go for a walk with Lyanna and I?” He asked her. Dany sat straight up, her eagerness making him laugh.

“Yes, how long have I been asleep? How is she? Is she alright?” The words tumbled in rapid fire from Dany’s mouth.

“You’ve been asleep for a few hours, but its okay, so has she,” Jon chuckled, and went to retrieve their coats from the coat rack. Just then, he looked up and saw Lyanna walking slowly down the hall, as if she was unsure if she was welcome in the living room. Jon tried to give her another encouraging smile and held his hand out to her. To his astonishment, she cast a quick look at Dany, darted over to him, and took his hand. Jon gave her hand a gentle squeeze, afraid to let go, though he tried to hide his reaction not wanting her to second guess herself. Dany smiled at him but made no comment.

“May I hold Ghost’s leash?” Lyanna asked in that terse, cold way that she had. Jon tried to act natural, though he exchanged another small, secret smile with Dany.

“Yes, you may,” Jon hooked the leash onto Ghost, and handed the other end to Lyanna, then proceeded to offer his free hand, to Dany, and the three of them headed off.

 

            They had gotten hot chocolates from the coffee stand, before coming back to the apartment, and to his continued amazement, Lyanna had clung to his hand for most of the walk. As soon as they got close to the apartment, though, she let it go as if it never happened, but Jon accepted what he could get. During the walk, they had tried to engage her in conversation, but she did not offer much more than monosyllabic replies to yes and no questions. They were, however, able to ascertain that she liked pizza, which is what was planned for dinner, and that she did not have any homework this weekend as she had apparently finished it all the night before at the group home. The silence was uncomfortable, but Jon tried not to let it bother him, he knew it was going to take time for Lyanna to open up to them. She seemed very wary of Dany, and Jon wondered if it had something to do with having spent most of her life with her grandfather, with her mother having been deployed on and off with the military throughout most of her life. Lyanna was used to living with a taciturn, old combat general, and with a mother whose life revolved around the military. Jon knew Lyanna had been well loved, and cared for with her mother and grandfather, but he also knew that their lifestyle would have been much different from his and Dany’s.

            The rest of the day went mostly the same and Lyanna retreated to her room quickly after supper, having only eaten half a slice of pizza. Jon knew that they were going to have to get her to do better than that but did not want to press her on the first day. They would take it one day at a time. Trying to coax her from her room with the idea of a movie and popcorn had failed. Dany had suggested a game, which she refused. Eventually, they settled onto the couch together and hoped that she might come out of her room on her own. She did not. Ghost stayed by her side though, even as night began to fall and bedtime drew near.

“Do you think she needs a bath time, before bed?” Dany asked, with a sweet hesitancy. Jon smiled at her and kissed the top of her head.

“Maybe you could offer it to her,” Jon said.

“What should I say?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Jon laughed.

“Well, you have more experience than me,” Dany huffed.

“Well, this is just as much my first time to be a father as it is for you being a mother,” Jon could not help but laugh, and Dany gave his side a playful pinch. Dany rose off the couch, his hand in hers. Jon did not move.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no,’?” Dany snapped back.

“I think you need a few minutes to interact with her apart from me, even if she doesn’t respond well, I think you need to talk to her without me standing there.”

“What if she refuses?” Dany almost looked scared. Jon stood up and wrapped his arm around her, bringing one hand up to smooth out the worry lines on her forehead.

“I think if she refuses tonight it will be okay, if we can keep a first day peaceful it is always better,” Jon said, he kissed her nose, “Be brave.” Dany rolled her eyes and headed for Lyanna’s room. Jon watched from the end of the hall, where Lyanna could not see him. Dany retrieved a towel and knocked on Lyanna’s door.

“Do you want a bath before bed?” Dany asked. She was met with silence, but Jon noticed the towel was taken from her hand.

“Do you need help?” Dany asked, trying to sound casual and pleasant.

“I’m not a toddler,” came Lyanna’s terse voice.

“Right, sorry, I know you are not a toddler,” Dany said with a smile, taking it in stride, “Well, everything you need is in the basket by the bathtub, I’ll be in my room, just yell if you need anything.”

Lyanna said nothing, merely disappeared into the bathroom.

            Jon followed Dany into their bedroom.

“See, that wasn’t so hard,” Jon whispered to her, give her a nip on the lips.

“I feel like my heart is pounding,” Dany chuckled.

“It’s not going to be easy, but we’re going to make it, love.”

Jon and Dany got ready for bed, while they waited for Lyanna. As soon as Lyanna came out of the bathroom, hair wet, but otherwise ready for bed, Dany bounded toward the door. Jon followed a little more slowly, not wanting to spook Lyanna.

“Can we tuck you in?” Dany asked, sweetly and eagerly. Lyanna only gave her a strange look. Trying to salvage the moment, Jon took Dany’s hand, and then gently and playfully mussed Lyanna’s hair, like he used to do to Arya. The little girl scrunched her nose up at him for a moment but followed as Jon led the three of them into Lyanna’s room. Dany pulled back the blankets for her, and Lyanna sat down. She was tense, and so Jon knew they needed to keep it short.

“Would you like me to brush your hair?” Dany offered, and Jon’s heart clenched.

“I can do it,” Lyanna stated flatly. Dany nodded, giving her a smile.

“Goodnight, Lyanna,” Jon said, giving her shoulder a gentle, quick squeeze.

“We’re happy you are here,” Dany said. Lyanna only nodded. Ghost bounded into the room and plopped his head into Lyanna’s lap.

“I think Ghost wants to sleep with you again,” Jon laughed, “Would you like that?”

Lyanna nodded, and so they wished her goodnight, turned her light out and shut the door.

            Once in their own room with the door closed and the light out. Jon pulled Dany into his arms and kissed her.

“We made it through day one,” Jon chuckled. Dany sighed sleepily and snuggled back against him.

“I’m afraid she doesn’t like me very much,” Dany was laughing, but he could hear a hint of insecurity in her voice.

“To be fair, I’m not sure she really likes anyone right now,” Jon said, pulling her close and massaging her sore hips, “One day at a time, love.”

“One day at time,” She agreed and kissed him.

“Honestly, I think the parenting trophy of the day goes to Ghost,” Jon laughed, and Dany laughed with him as they settled into sleep.


	57. Progress (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments, they really keep me going! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Warning: This chapter does contain a brief scene of childbirth, it is not graphic since I wanted to focus more on Dany's perspective, but if that is uncomfortable to anyone you might want to skip the end.

When Dany woke on Monday morning, the sun had definitely not risen, and Jon was definitely caressing her thigh. Dany felt somewhat guilty, as over the last week or two her desire for sex had significantly decreased when it had been so active not so long ago. The doctor had assured her that pregnancy hormones would have her feeling up and down on this issue especially during the first trimester. Her first trimester would end in another week or so, and she had not yet felt any of the promised renewals of energy and enthusiasm for love making that so many of the pregnancy books and websites promised for the second trimester. Dany leaned back against him and felt him hard against her bottom. She craved his tenderness and sweet touches, but she did not feel like having him inside her, and she felt guilty for that. She did not want Jon to think that she did not want him. Dany buried her face into her pillow and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her racing emotions, and desperately trying not cry. Right after the accident she had been prone to crying, but she had never in her life been so easily given to tears as she had during this pregnancy. Jon kissed her shoulder and pulled away a bit seeming to sense that her mood was not one of passion. Dany released a harsh sob against her pillow before she could stop herself, and Jon pulled back even more.

“Dany?” His voice was confused and concerned. Dany shook her head, and only cried more. Jon ran his hand soothingly up and down her spine, seeming to be at a loss. She rolled over and faced him, and he gave her a wary smile.

“I want you,” She whispered.

“Okay,” Jon reached for her again, and gave her a gentle kiss, but Dany pulled away, and felt more tears flood her eyes.

“I don’t want to….” Dany tried to say between another torrent of sobs. Jon looked so confused that she may have laughed, if she were able to get her tears under control.

“Okay,” was all he said, and nuzzled his nose against her hair before starting to pull away again.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, hating how small her voice sounded. Jon chuckled, and smoothed some hair out of her face.

“What are you apologizing for?”

“I don’t know,” she moaned and buried her face into the pillow again.

“Dany?”

“I can’t make them stop!” Dany cried, indicating her tears. Jon laughed. _How dare he laugh?_ “This is not funny!” she snapped, harshly wiping at her tears and pulling even further away from him, definitely not wanting him to touch her now that he was laughing at her.

“Dany…” Jon grabbed her hand halting her retreat, “Dany, I’m sorry, love, I’m sorry, I did not mean to laugh at you.”

“Yes, you did,” Dany sulked, but stopped moving away from him.

Jon’s face sobered, as he reached up and stroked her cheek, wiping the tears away, “Love, I can’t read your mind… you know you can tell me things, right?”

Dany averted her eyes from his intense gaze, “It’s just…I…” she stumbled over her words.

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to have sex right now,” she said in a huff. Jon chuckled, then quickly restrained himself.

“That’s alright, love.”

Dany felt tears threatening again, “But I feel guilty, because I do want you, and I don’t want you to think that I don’t… I don’t want you to think that I don’t want you anymore… and I feel like all my emotions are up and down… and just a few weeks ago, we were… we were…” she stammered.

“We were going at it like rabbits?” Jon offered with a teasing smile. She had to chuckle at that and nodded in response, “Dany, you know I always want you… always,” He assured her, “But you never, never need to feel guilty for telling me ‘no.’”

More tears fell, “But I do want you, and I want to want you now, but I…I just…”

“You just don’t,” Jon sighed with a smile, “That’s okay, I know your body is going through so many changes, and I know I don’t fully understand them all. But you know that I am here for more than just sex, right?”

Dany chuckled, and nodded.

“I love you,” Jon kissed her nose.

“I love you too,” Dany kissed him, and she felt his hand slide over her bump, and she smiled against his mouth.

“I suppose we should get up, we are parents now,” Jon laughed.

           

Today was Lyanna’s third day with them, and the first day that they would go through the motions of the routine that Dany and Jon had planned out. She and Jon packed lunches for all three of them. Jon offered to take Ghost for a walk, if she wanted to get Lyanna up and ready for school. She hesitated. Sunday had not gone much better between her and Lyanna than Saturday had, and Dany could tell the little girl had a definitive preference for Jon’s company over hers, even though Lyanna had kept to her room most of the weekend. Jon was going to take her to school, but Dany was going to pick her up from school, and then would be alone with her for the afternoon, until Jon got home from work. This afternoon would be the first time that she and Lyanna did not have Jon there as a buffer between them and Dany did not know how that would go.

“Would you prefer to walk Ghost, and me to get her up?” Jon asked, giving her a sympathetic smile, though she could tell he was worried about her.

“No,” Dany could be brave, “No, I need to do this.”

Jon smiled and kissed her, “Alright, then.” Ghost had snuck out of Lyanna’s room when he heard the two of them moving around in the kitchen and so Jon latched his leash on and the two headed out.

            Dany stared down the hall. Lyanna had never once shouted, or said anything particularly mean, even though Jon had warned her that she might, but the little girl was surprisingly intimidating. Dany mustered her courage and went and knocked on the bedroom door. From under the door, she could see that the light was on, and a moment later the door opened. Lyanna looked up at her, stone faced, revealing no emotions behind her steely eyes. She was already dressed for school, but her hair was loose and hanging haphazardly around her face.

“Breakfast time,” Dany said, offering her a smile. Lyanna nodded and retreated into her room and retrieved her backpack.

“Would you like me to braid your hair?” Dany asked.

Lyanna glared at her for a moment, and simply said, “No.”

Dany nodded then, and they continued in awkward silence to the kitchen table.

They had gone to the grocery store as a family yesterday, and Jon had managed to get her to pick out her favorite breakfast cereal, and to Dany’s relief she was eating it peacefully when Jon returned from walking Ghost. He mussed Lyanna’s hair, causing the little girl to crinkle her nose for a moment, but Dany thought she saw a hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth, before it disappeared.

“You ready for school, sweetheart?” Jon asked her. Lyanna’s eyes snapped up at the endearment, but she nodded. Jon was smiling at the little girl, and Dany thought she might cry at the sweetness of the moment. _Pull yourself together_ , Dany chided herself, and went back to eating her own breakfast. Jon sat down with them, and they ate their breakfast in relative silence until Jon and Lyanna headed off for work and school, and Dany gathered her things for her own day.

 

            That afternoon Dany picked up Lyanna, and their car ride consisted of the characteristic silence that had pervaded their relationship over the last three days. When they got back to the apartment, Lyanna disappeared into her room. Dany spread her own homework out over the kitchen table but found she could not focus. She desperately wanted to see Lyanna smile, but she knew these things took time. After an hour or so of homework, Dany could no longer focus and so took out the photo albums she had kept from when she had spent much more time trying to regain her memories, than trying to learn to live her life without them. Even though she loved her life with Jon right now, and would not change it, looking at the pictures sometimes still made her sad. Most of them were just strange empty spaces in her mind, that she felt she might be somehow more complete if she had them.

            Footsteps coming into the kitchen, broke Dany out of her thoughts. Lyanna stood there, looking somewhat uncertain. Dany gave her smile.

“I am about to make myself a snack,” Dany said, her stomach had been growling at her for an hour, “Would you like one?”

Lyanna seemed to consider for a moment, then nodded and sat down at the table.

While Dany prepared snacks for them, out of the corner of her eye she saw Lyanna studied the photos on the table. She sat a plate in front of Lyanna with some of the snacks they had managed to get her to pick out at the grocery store, and Dany sat down in the chair opposite her. Lyanna was flipping the pages of the albums as she ate.

"What are these for?" Lyanna startled her by asking, but Dany took it in stride, trying to imitate some of the ways Jon had interacted with her, and not to seem too over eager. Attempting to tell her in a way that a child could understand, Dany explained her accident, and her amnesia. Lyanna listened with a surprising amount of attention.

"The General used to not be able to remember things,” the little girl said softly.

"Oh?"

"He said it was because he was old,” Lyanna explained, “But he made lists to help him remember."

"I have a list too," Dany pulled out the piece of paper that she had stuck in one of the albums. Lyanna studied it.

"This is not a very big list," she said in a clipped voice.

"I have not remembered many things,” Dany confessed with a sigh. Lyanna only nodded. Dany tried to hide her smile, it was a small step, but it was a step.

 

            Dany received the text about an hour before Jon got home, and so when he stepped inside the door, she nearly pounced on him.

“Missy’s in labor!” She exclaimed with a smile.

Jon gave her a hug, “That’s exciting, do you need to get going to the hospital?”

“Yes, I think so,” Dany said, kissing his cheek, “I may be gone all night, will you and Lyanna be alright?”

“Of course,” Jon said, “And if you are still gone tomorrow afternoon, I could take her to meet Rickon and play after school.”

“Do you think I’ll still be gone tomorrow afternoon?” Dany asked, she had not considered that, but she supposed it was possible.

“I really would not know, love,” He chuckled, “You better get going, Lyanna and I will be fine.”

 

            Dany sat beside Missandei stroking her forehead with a cool cloth. While Dany obviously knew the basics of birth and had been doing some light reading to prepare for it herself, she had never seen a baby being born.

“Anything I can get for you to make you more comfortable?” Dany asked Missy as they sat together, waiting. Grey had gone to get some coffee and stretch his legs.

“I think at this point the only thing that’s going to make me comfortable is this being over,” Missy chuckled. Dany smiled. Another contraction came and Dany held Missy’s hand, wishing she could do more for her. When it was over, Missy, breathing hard, looked back up at Dany.

“You look so concerned,” Missy chuckled, weakly.

“I guess I’m just nervous for you,” Dany admitted.

“I guess, this might give you some second thoughts about babies,” Missy laughed, and Dany felt her cheeks blush. Missy noticed, “What was that?”

“What?” Dany deflected.

“That look?”

“There was no look,” Dany tried to evade. Missandei knew her too well.

“I can tell when you are hiding something,” Missy said, giving her a kind smile. Dany’s resolve caved.

“We haven’t told anyone… well, I guess we have told a couple of people, but…” Dany took Missy’s hand and put it where she could feel the little bump under her loose-fitting t-shirt. Missandei beamed at her.

“Oh, my gods… how… when?” Missandei could not seem to decide which question to ask first. Dany chuckled, feeling those wretched tears fill her eyes again.

“Jon and I were apparently very determined,” Dany laughed, and Missandei laughed with her.

 

It was after 3 a.m., and Missy had been in labor for over ten hours and the doctor had finally told them that she would start pushing soon, and so they were getting the room ready. All things considered, Missandei had been relatively calm throughout the process, which should not have surprised Dany. Missy had always been a peaceful person. Grey, however, had been pacing the room back and forth like a soldier on patrol. He was making Dany anxious, but Missy did not seem perturbed by it at all, as long as he was holding her hand during contractions. Dany had to smile inwardly, at how different people had such vastly different relational needs. Dany wondered what Jon would be like in the delivery room. If Jon was a pacer, she was afraid she might have to throw him out.

“Do you need anything?” Dany asked Missy as she arranged her blankets. Missy shook her head. Dany could tell her energy was flagging, and Dany felt helplessly unsure about what to do for her.

The doctor arrived as Dany could tell Missy was getting close to another contraction.

“Are we ready to push?” The doctor asked in an obnoxiously chipper voice, which made Dany want to hit him, instead she held Missy’s hand and encouraged her through each one.

            Dany was near tears herself after what felt like hours of Missy pushing, even though in reality it had only been an hour.

“Just a few more really good pushes, and baby will be here,” The doctor said, and gave Missy’s knee a pat, between contractions. Dany rolled her eyes, she felt like they had been saying that for the entire time. Another contraction hit, and Missy for the first time let loose, a bloodcurdling scream that took Dany by surprise.

“Head is out!” The doctor announced. Missy panted and whimpered, and Grey stroked her hair, and held her gaze. Dany smiled.

“Want to see?” The doctor asked. Dany chanced a peek, and wished she had not, for if she had a weaker constitution, she would have fainted then and there.


	58. The Pack (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter, but I am a little unsure how it turned out. I really wanted it to be a good dose of sweetness, angst and humor, but I feel like humor is always more of a challenge than the angsty stuff. I hope everyone enjoys!

Jon was reading the newspaper and drinking coffee at the kitchen table when Lyanna emerged from her room without being prompted. Jon took this as a good sign. Her hair was a bit askew, but she was ready for school otherwise. Without saying a word, she sat down at the table and made herself a bowl of cereal and began to eat. Jon tried to act casual, as if the two of them had been doing this for years. Over the top of his newspaper, he saw Lyanna occasionally stealing glances at him, her face unreadable.

“Where’s Dany?” Lyanna suddenly ask, and Jon tried not to choke on his coffee.

“Her best friend is having a baby, and so she went to the hospital to be with her,” Jon explained. Lyanna nodded. “So, I am going to pick you up from school today, and I thought I could take you to meet my cousin Rickon, he’s about your age, and has a big backyard to run around in. We can take Ghost. Would you like that?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Lyanna’s steely eyes were unflinching. Jon had to refrain from sighing. At least she was using words today, but that icy exterior showed no signs of thawing.

“It matters to me,” Jon said, trying to gauge her feelings, “If you don’t want to go, we don’t have too, but it could be fun.”

Lyanna nodded. Jon did not know how to interpret that, and so said, “Think about it, okay?”

Lyanna nodded again. Desperately wishing to see the child he knew was tucked away in her somewhere, Jon reached over and gently brushed his finger across her little cheek. Lyanna’s eyes met his.

“What you want matters… you matter, sweetheart,” Jon said, and for the first time since he met her, he saw a brief flash of vulnerability in her eyes, though she quickly masked it behind another curt nod.

 

            When he picked her up from school that afternoon, he had already been by the apartment and retrieved Ghost, hoping that his presence would entice her to go to see the big backyard at the Stark’s.

“Are you hungry?” Jon asked her as she shut the car door.

“No.”

“Do you have homework?”

“I finished it.”

Jon smiled, “have you thought about meeting Rickon today?”

Lyanna glanced at Ghost and glared at him for a moment, “We might as well, you already have Ghost.”

Jon chuckled, which only caused her to glare at him more.

            When Jon opened the door to the Stark Manor, he could see Lyanna observing everything with her flinty eyes. Catelyn met them at the door and gave Jon a hug. Catelyn held her hand out to Lyanna, and Lyanna shook it once.

“It’s nice to meet you, sweetheart, I’m Aunt Cat,” she said. Lyanna studied her for a moment, then looked up at Jon. He was not sure how to interpret that look but he nodded to her, silently encouraging her.

“I’m Lyanna.”

“Lovely name, Jon’s mother’s name was Lyanna,” Cat said with a kind smile.

“Yes,” Lyanna said, obviously remembering Jon telling her, which did not surprise Jon. Lyanna was bright, sometimes too bright for her own good. Aunt Cat took Lyanna’s hand, to lead her to the kitchen, and just as she did, the front door opened, and Ned walked in. He clapped Jon on the shoulder and turned to Lyanna.

“Hello there,” Ned smiled, and brushed one finger across Lyanna’s cheek, “I’m Uncle Ned, we are so happy you are here.”

Lyanna’s mouth twitched as if she might smile, but she simply said, “Thank you,” in an uncharacteristically soft voice.

“I was about to take Lyanna to the kitchen to have cookies and milk with Rickon,” Catelyn explained. Ned kissed Cat’s cheek and chuckled.

“Well, I don’t want to stand in the way of dessert.”

As Cat took Lyanna’s hand once again, Rickon’s beaming face suddenly emerged from the kitchen, and he came barreling down toward the entry. Before Jon, Cat, or Ned could stop him, the little boy threw his arms around Lyanna with his characteristic over enthusiasm. Lyanna stood stock still, though she looked somewhat disgusted.

“Rickon!” Ned and Cat exclaimed at the same time. Rickon promptly let her go.

“Sorry,” Now he looked bashful, “I’m just excited to have a cousin!”

Lyanna glanced up at Jon, and he gave her another encouraging smile.

“You see Jon is sorta my brother, but he’s actually my cousin… and so you are my cousin now too,” Rickon said to her as if explaining the new order of things, “You are a part of the pack now, isn’t that right Dad?”

Ned chuckled, when Lyanna only stood there staring at Rickon as if he were from another world.

“Yes, she is, that’s something we Starks like to say…” He started to explain to the little girl, but Rickon suddenly howled like a wolf, which made Ghost give a little howl. Catelyn sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes.

“The pack survives,” Rickon explained, and he took Lyanna’s hand from Cat and started to lead her toward the kitchen, “When you are a part of the pack, we look out for you, right Dad?”

“That’s right, Rick, now go help Lyanna get some cookies.”

Lyanna made no protest as Rickon led her by the hand down the hall to the kitchen. Jon was not sure if he should follow or leave them to get acquainted. Cat patted his arm.

“How is she doing?”

Jon sighed and raked his hand through his hair, “I’m not sure, she is eating a bit, still not as much as I would want but like everything, it’s a work in progress,” Jon said, “She’s still a little wary of Dany and me, but I think that’s to be expected.”

“Is there anything we can help you with?” Ned asked.

“Just keep reminding her that she is not alone in the world.”

            Jon found Rickon and Lyanna sitting at the bar in the kitchen and Rickon was animatedly telling her a story... something about dragons.

“Jon!” Rickon exclaimed, “I’m telling Lyanna Dany’s dragon story!”

“Oh?” Jon did not know Dany had a dragon story.

“She was telling it to me before she hit her head and forgot everything,” Rickon said.

“She has amnesia,” Lyanna explained matter-of-factly, which surprised Jon.

“I think Dany forgot she was telling it to me, because she never told me the ending,” Rickon continued. Jon had to chuckle at that.

“Have you not asked her since?”

“No, I keep forgetting,” Rickon laughed, surprisingly catching on to the irony of his statement, “I thought you might know the ending so I can tell Lyanna.”

Jon ruffled Rickon’s messy hair, “I am afraid I do not know the ending, we will have to ask Dany when we see her.”

“Do you want more cookies, Lya,” Rickon said, the nickname taking Jon off guard, but the boy continued to explain, “I decided Lyanna needed a nickname, like how Dad calls me Rick. Dad said he used to call your mom Lya, Jon, so I decided that Lya was a good nickname.”

“Does Lyanna have a say in this?” Jon chuckled, as he saw Lyanna still staring at Rickon as if he were an alien.

“I don’t mind,” She said, before getting up and starting to clean up her dishes. Jon took them from her hand.

“You two go play, you shouldn’t waste anymore daylight,” Jon smiled at her, “I will clean this up.”

Lyanna only stared at him for a moment, before relinquishing her plate and cup and allowing herself to be led outside by Rickon, who apparently had no plans to stop talking.

 

            It was after dark when Jon and Lyanna finally made it home. Aunt Cat had insisted that they stay for supper, and Rickon had wanted to show Lyanna the family picture books. Rickon had talked Lyanna’s ear off most of the evening, but Jon had watched them play together in the backyard from the kitchen window, and though he could tell she was quiet, she had participated in every activity Rickon had engaged her in, especially soccer with Ghost. Jon wondered if she might like to join a soccer team this spring. When they pulled up to the apartment, Lyanna was sound asleep. He went around to her door and opened it, unbuckled her and gently touched her shoulder. She showed no signs of waking, and so he lifted her into his arms and carried her up to the apartment. When he entered, Dany was sitting crossed legged on the sofa looking fidgety, but she bounded toward them when she saw them come in.

“Is she okay?” Dany asked.

“Yes, I think Rickon just wore her out,” Jon whispered back.

“Did they have fun together?”

“I think so.”

“Good,” Dany gingerly brushed some hair out of Lyanna’s face. The two of them walked down to Lyanna’s room and Jon laid her down, while Dany took her shoes off and covered her up.

“We probably need to wake her up a little earlier tomorrow so she can take a bath before school because they played hard, but I think we should let her sleep now,” Jon said, and Dany smiled and nodded, though Jon could tell there was something on her mind. Ghost hopped up into the bed with Lyanna and curled up against her legs.

            After turning Lyanna’s light out, and closing the door, Jon turned to Dany and gave her a passionate kiss, which she returned with somewhat less enthusiasm. He threaded his fingers through her hair for a moment and the two of them walked to the living room.

“How’s Missy?” Jon asked.

“She’s good.”

“Little boy or little girl?”

“Boy.”

Jon sat down on the couch, and gently tugged her toward him.

“Did everything go alright?” Jon pushed, as he could tell something was eating at her.

“Everything went the way it was supposed to, I think,” Dany said with a somewhat strained voice.

“Is everything alright?” Jon was growing concerned. Dany turned to face him on the couch, her face was rather pale.

“Do you pace?”

“What?”

“Pace, Jon, do you pace? I need to know,” Dany demanded, and he sorely wanted to laugh but considered that to be against his better judgment at this moment.

“Pace? Pacing, like walking back and forth when I’m nervous?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know, I guess I have paced before, but I don’t think I’m particularly prone to pacing,” Jon said, still confused.

“Jon, we have a child, and we have a baby on the way,” Dany said, her voice somewhat frantic.

“Yes?”

“And I don’t even know if you are a pacer!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Jon, do you realize there are days where it still feels like I’m still getting to know you?”

That stung, but he could tell from the look on her face that she did not mean it, and so he tried to sit patiently and listen to whatever it was she was trying to vent.

Dany got up off the couch and started to pace herself, which made Jon chuckle, but she shot him a dirty look, “What are we doing? I don’t know if we are equipped for this.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you are having second thoughts about our life together?” Jon snapped, he did not think she was, but he needed verbal confirmation as his heart was now racing.

“No, no, gods no, I’m sorry that is not what I meant,” Dany came over to him then and kissed him, and his heart started to settle, “I love you; I love our life, I love Lyanna and our baby… I’m just… I’m just…”

“What?”

“Jon, I’m having a baby,” Her voice had taken on a rather wild edge.

“I know, love.”

“Do you?” Dany went back to pacing, “I don’t know if I’m equipped to have a baby.”

“Hey,” Jon got up and pulled her into his arms and back to sit on the couch, “We went over this the other night, we are not going to be perfect parents, but you are a wonderful mother, I know it’s only been a couple of days but you are a wonderful mother to Lyanna, and you are going to be wonderful mother to our baby.”

“You don’t understand,” She said sharply.

“Alright,” He tried to brush aside the mild irritation that comment caused, “Help me understand.”

“I just watched my best friend give birth!”

“Okay?”

“It was terrifying!” She nearly shouted in frustration, then quieted her voice, remembering they had a slumbering child in the bedroom. Jon tried to gather her in his arms, but she gave him a gentle shove away, but to his relief, she smiled, “I can’t un-see it,” now she actually chuckled.

Jon was thoroughly confused, not sure if he should laugh with her or comfort her, and so he just stroked her back. Her eyes met his.

“I’m scared,” She whispered. Jon’s heart softened all the more at her confession and he pulled her close, not sure how to soothe that particular fear… he was scared too. Dany snuggled closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I need you not to pace in the delivery room,” She said, quite seriously.

Jon could not stop a soft laugh from escaping then, “Alright, love, I won’t pace in the delivery room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapters: dragon stories, and Arya demands answers


	59. Castles (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone so much for the encouraging comments! They keep me going, and make this fic so much fun to write!

“I told him that sometimes it still feels like I’m still getting to know him,” Dany said with huff to Tyrion toward the end of their session, “I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I could tell that it did.”

“The two of you are a work in progress… as most couples are, I might add,” Tyrion said, “And now that you have Lyanna and an unexpected bun in the oven, it is even more important for you two to be honest with each other.”

“I don’t want him to think that I’m having regrets,” Dany confessed, “Because I am not, I love this life we’ve built… it just all came together rather quickly, but I love it.”

“You know, having fears is not the same as having regrets?”

“After realizing that I knew nothing about his father, and then watching Missy give birth, and then feeling out of my depth with Lyanna, I think I just got scared realizing how much I still need to learn about being a parent and I still need to learn about him as a person.”

“There is no magical formula to being a parent and you and Jon are coming out of your little honeymoon period and that is alright, I’d say it’s even good,” Tyrion sighed, and considered her for a moment, “You have had Lyanna for what? A little over a week now?”

“Yes,” Dany smiled, thinking of Lyanna. She had yet to warm up to Dany, but last night they had managed to coax the little girl out of her room, and they watched a movie together as a family, during which Lyanna had fallen asleep with her head resting against Jon’s shoulder. Dany knew she had to be patient, like Jon was patient, but her heart literally ached to be a mother for the little girl.

“You know, that once she gets more acclimatized to living with you, things are going to get harder, Lyanna is a child dealing with complex emotions that will eventually come out in some form or another, whether that be bad behavior, or further withdrawal, or…” Tyrion trailed off.

“What are you getting at?”

“My point is you and Jon need to be on the same page and that takes work,” Tyrion explained, “Do the two of you have someone who can watch Lyanna for an evening?”

“Yes, almost all of Jon’s cousins have offered, as well as his aunt and uncle.”

“Good, because my prescription for you and Jon is to, once a week, set aside a night just for the two of you, a date night, so you can talk, voice concerns, and things of that nature,” Tyrion said with a smile, “And to remind each other why you love each other.”

“You almost sound like a romantic,” Dany teased him.

“I am a great advocate for a healthy love life,” Tyrion chuckled, “Anyway, I think this will be essential for the two of you as a couple, especially as Lyanna will need your help when she inevitably begins to deal with her emotions, and for when the baby finally comes.”

Dany smiled.

“It is not a magical formula to solve every problem,” Tyrion chuckled, “But if you are looking for magical formulas, parenting… and relationships for that matter, are the wrong places.”

 

            Dany picked up Lyanna after school and the two went back to the apartment. As had become their custom over their last few days together, they took Ghost for a relatively silent walk before sitting down to snacks and homework. Dany had been making a study of snacks Lyanna preferred in hopes of enticing her to eat more, and Dany had learned that she did have a definitive preference even if they remained unspoken. When they had fruit, Lyanna always ate more berries, than she did apples or oranges. When they ate vegetables, she ate carrots, but stayed away from celery. When they had cookies and milk, she preferred chocolate chip. Lyanna still was not eating nearly enough in Dany’s opinion but they were making small progressive steps.

“Would you like to bring your homework in here to the kitchen after we eat our snacks?” Dany asked. Lyanna stared at her for moment.

“Why?” She asked.

“Well, I have to do my homework too, and thought we could spend time together.”

“I think we would be more productive separately,” Lyanna stated simply, and Dany had to bite back a laugh. Lyanna rarely said much to her other than ‘yes’ and ‘no’ with an occasional ‘thank you’, but every so often her little personality popped out of her mouth, and it always took Dany by surprise.

“Alright then,” Dany smiled at her and let her go.

            About an hour later, Dany was sitting on the couch reading, when Lyanna came down the hall. She had an almost shy look on her face, and a piece of paper in her hand.

“Is Jon home?” She asked. Even though Lyanna had consistently, and perhaps subconsciously, shown a preference for Jon’s company over hers, the question still puzzled Dany, as far as she knew, Lyanna had never asked after one of them specifically.

“No, but he should be home in about an hour,” Dany smiled, and moved some of her things off the couch, “Want to come and sit with me?”

Lyanna looked at the paper in her hand, then at the couch, before coming and sitting down on the opposite end from Dany.

“What have you got there?” Dany asked, curious. Lyanna looked at the paper again.

“I…” She started but did not seem to be able to find the words. With a hesitancy that was almost painful, Lyanna handed Dany the sheet of paper she was holding. Dany looked at it and saw that it was half-finished math homework. Dany studied it, it had eraser marks all over it, as if she had been struggling over it for a while.

“Do you need help, sweetheart? Is that why you needed Jon?” Dany asked, trying not to be wounded that Lyanna did not feel like she could ask her.

Lyanna nodded.

“Well, luckily, I know how to do math too,” Dany gave her a teasing smile, and cleared some room on the coffee table for them, “Now tell me what the problem is.”

            After math homework was well in hand, Lyanna and Dany remained seated together on the sofa. Dany wrapped her arm around Lyanna’s shoulder.

“You can always ask me for help,” She assured “Anytime… I am here for you, alright?”

Lyanna nodded. A few moments of silence passed in which Dany did not know what to say, but Lyanna once again surprised her.

“Rickon, told me a story.”

Dany smiled, “What story was that?”

“He said it was your story.”

“My story?” Dany was now confused.

“A story of dragons.”

A strange feeling of nostalgia washed over Dany she remembered a story about dragons. Was it Rhaegar who told it to her? Did she tell it to Rickon? Then with a strange mental clarity, she realized she had told it to Rickon, it was not a memory exactly, but a feeling, but somehow, she knew she had been telling Rickon the story. Dany smiled and hugged Lyanna.

“I do know a story of dragons would you like to hear it?” Dany asked.

Lyanna glanced up at her and nodded.

“Well, before I can tell you a story of dragons, we first must have a castle,” Dany said, and hopped off the couch, though she was startled to realize that hopping up had become somewhat more difficult.

“What do you mean?” Lyanna asked.

“We have to build a castle,” Dany laughed and took her hand, urging her up from the couch.

“Why?”

“Because the best stories start with castles,” Dany explained, and chuckled at Lyanna’s perplexed look, but Dany determined Lyanna needed to learn to be a child again.

            The two of them gathered up sheets and blankets and pillows. Lyanna occasionally stole strange looks at her, but she did not complain. They piled the pillows and blankets across the living room floor, and then draped bed sheets across the furniture, until they had erected an impressive fort made of bed sheets. Dany crawled in and poked her head out at Lyanna who was still staring at the fort.

“This is not a castle,” Lyanna stated plainly.

“Are you coming in?” Dany chuckled, and Ghost crawled under the fort with her. Lyanna hesitated a moment more before getting on her hands and knees and crawling inside. Inside the tent, Dany settled herself, placing one hand on her little bump, while she offered Lyanna the seat next to her. Cautiously, Lyanna scooted over to her, and Dany draped an arm over her shoulders.

“Now, about this story,” Dany began, “Thousands of years ago, there was a prince who did not know he was a prince and he lived in a castle covered in snow…”

 

            They were still beneath the tent, and Dany spinning her tale, when the front door opened, and they heard Jon’s footsteps. A moment later he popped his head into the tent, and Ghost clamored up to greet him.

“This is quite an impressive fort,” Jon commented.

“Castle,” Lyanna corrected, though her face was impassive. Jon’s face lit up in one of those rare beautiful smiles that melted Dany’s heart.

“I have come to swear fealty to my ladies,” Jon chuckled, “And I have not come empty handed.” He placed a bag of take-out into the fort, “May I enter?”

“You have to say the password,” Dany teased, and though Lyanna’s face gave away no emotion, her eyes twinkled.

“And how am I to know the password, my lady?”

“You’ll just have to start guessing, Jon Snow,” Dany laughed.

“Come now take pity on a weary and hungry traveler,” Jon begged playfully.

“What do you think, Lyanna?” Dany said, “Should we have mercy?”

Lyanna nodded, and Jon laughed and crawled into the fort next to them. Dany continued to tell her story, while Jon divided up the food. By the time night had fallen, and dinner had been eaten, Jon and Dany’s eyes met as they realized, Lyanna, for the first time since coming to live with them had eaten her entire meal.

 

            After putting Lyanna to bed, Jon went to take Ghost for a final walk, and Dany went and took a shower. Once out of the shower, she stood in her underwear and a soft white nightie, which she held up above her growing belly, as she assessed herself in the full-length mirror in their bedroom. They had not talked about when they would announce her pregnancy, but as she ran her hand down the curve of her stomach, she knew it would need to be soon, because her bump was becoming harder to hide. Her body had already begun to look so different, which should not have surprised her, but it did just the same.

Jon walked into the bedroom at that moment looking at his phone and said with a chuckle, “Arya is apparently demanding an audience with us, but I have no idea why….”

But when he looked up from his phone, she heard him release a sharp exhale and whatever he was going to say was lost on his lips.

Dany kept the nightie tucked up around her breasts, so that her bump was fully visible as she turned to face him. He looked so enraptured with her that she felt her knees go weak. Biting her lip, feeling somewhat shy over her new curves, she met his gaze and placed a hand on her belly.

“That’s our baby, Jon Snow,” Dany whispered with a grin. Jon smiled tenderly, as he walked over to her, and to her surprise he dropped to his knees. Without saying a word, he placed a gentle kiss against her stomach, one of his hands went to cup her bottom, and the other to resting just below her navel. He pressed his ear against her, as if hoping he might hear or feel their child. Dany stroked his hair and giggled.

“You won’t be able to feel any kicking yet,” She whispered, feeling like this moment had somehow become sacred. Dany felt warm all over, even though she stood there in nothing but panties and a nightie. Jon sat down on the floor his back resting against their bed, and looked up at her, one of his hands moving to lace their fingers together and giving her a gentle tug.

“Come here,” He whispered in that gruff northern voice of his. Dany bit her lip, and slowly lowered herself to straddle his lap. She was still small enough that she could press her whole body against his, but she was very aware of her burgeoning baby bump between them.

“I’m starting to feel a little cumbersome…” She started to say with a self-conscious laugh.

“Hush,” Jon kissed her softly, and pulled her closer to him. Dany tightened her legs around his waist and gasped sharply into his mouth at the feel of him pressed between her legs. The hand he had resting on her bottom held her firmly to him, as he gave a slight thrust against her. She moaned, gripping the hair at the back of his head, as she buried her face against his neck. The hand that was not holding her bottom, stroked up and down her back as he nuzzled a kiss into her hair.

“Jon…” She whimpered, as he gave another gentle thrust.

“Hmm?”

Dany looked into his eyes then, and whispered breathlessly, “I want you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: A date night, and Arya demands answers,


	60. Announcement (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So date night did not make an appearance in this chapter as where I ended it seemed more natural, but I hope everyone enjoys anyway! Thanks so much for reading!

It was Saturday morning, and Dany and Jon lay tangled up in bed together, and Jon was stroking her baby bump.

“Are you and Lyanna going to be alright?” Jon asked. Dany playfully smacked his arm.

“We will be fine, after all we do spend alone time together every day after school, and I think we are making progress,” Dany replied. She looked at the clock, they had not heard any movement in the hall from Lyanna, so they assumed she was still asleep. Jon was leaving in less than an hour for his final suit fitting for Robb’s wedding, and would be gone for most of the day helping him with other wedding things.

“Marge wants to go with me today and help find Lyanna a dress for their wedding,” Dany said with a chuckle, “She says she’s hardly been able to stop herself from marching over here to meet her new niece.”

Jon smiled, “Sounds like Marge.”

“Do you think she will be too much for Lyanna in one day?” Dany asked, half joking but half serious. Jon laughed.

“No, Lyanna’s a tough kid, and Margaery means well and just wants to show her she’s loved, and even if Lyanna does not take to her immediately, I think children respond to love even if they don’t always realize it,” Jon said, and then laughed, “And she will have to meet Margaery eventually.”            

Dany giggled, and put her hand over his on her stomach.

“We also need to announce this,” Dany said, with a grin, “I’m running out of shirts that are big enough to hide it.”

“Aye.”

“I think we should tell Lyanna this morning if we have time before you leave,” Dany said, “Or if you don’t have time, maybe the three of us can go out to dinner tonight and talk about it, yes?”

“I think that is a good plan.”

“I just want to make sure Lyanna knows, before everyone else does,” Dany sighed.

“Yes, I agree,” Jon said, “And then maybe tomorrow, we can announce it to everyone else?”

“Yes,” Dany kissed him, and the two of them disentangled themselves from each other and got up and put their pajamas on.

“Arya said she is coming over,” Jon said frowning at his phone, “She has sent me three texts this week informing me that she needs to talk to us this weekend.”

“Does she know you are leaving with Robb in an hour?” Dany asked, puzzled.

“I texted her and told her she can have her ‘audience’ with us tomorrow morning if she wants, I’ll see what she says,” Jon looked bewildered.

“Do you think she and Gendry got engaged?”

Jon raked his hand through his hair, “I think she loves Gendry, but they haven’t been dating for very long, and she is not the type to settle down so quickly, she’s always been a little too restless for her own good,” Jon chuckled.

“Maybe she just wants to meet Lyanna,” Dany offered.

“Maybe, but it is not like her to be so cryptic about something like that,” Jon pulled on his shirt, and looked at his hair in the mirror before pulling it back in the little knot he often wore it in. Dany grinned as she watched him.

“What are you looking at?” He asked, a slight blush to his cheeks, which just made him all the more endearing. _Gods, she wanted him_.

“You,” Dany came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, planting a kiss between his shoulders, and giggled, “You and your attractive little man-bun.”

Jon groaned, and with a laugh said, “You keep calling it that, and I’m going to take it down and shave my head.”

Dany playfully smacked his rump, “Don’t you dare.”

His deep laugh was soothing as she tightened her arms around his waist and stood on her toes to nip at his neck. At that moment, they heard Lyanna’s bedroom door, and then sounds coming from the bathroom.

“Sounds like our little person is awake, Mama,” Jon whispered to her, and Dany laid her head against his back for a moment and breathed in his scent, before teasingly pinching his ass. He yelped in surprise.

“What was that?” Jon laughed and turned around to face her.

“Just letting you know, that tonight I fully intend to have my way with you,” Dany chuckled and reached up and kissed his bearded cheek. His eyes seemed even darker as Dany looked up at him, grinning like a love-sick fool.

“I’m fairly certain you had your way with me last night,” Jon chuckled, as he kissed her.

“Oh? So, you prefer to get a good night’s sleep tonight then?” Dany teased. Jon cupped the back of her head, threading his fingers into her hair, and pulled her even closer to him.

“Cheeky girl,” He murmured before kissing her so passionately Dany thought she might melt into the floor. When he released her, he was looking down at her with so much tenderness and love, that tears nearly came to her eyes.

“We better get breakfast started,” He whispered.

“Yes,” Dany said breathlessly.

            After Dany had composed herself, she stepped out into the hallway just as Lyanna was coming out of the bathroom. Lyanna was dressed for the day, but her hair looked like it needed some attention.

“Would you like me to braid your hair?” Dany offered.

“No,” Lyanna stated simply. Boldly, Dany took Lyanna’s hand and started toward the kitchen.

“Want to help me make breakfast?” Dany asked.

“I used to make eggs for the General,” Lyanna said.

“Would you like to make eggs for me?”

“Yes,” Lyanna said, her eyes meeting Dany’s for a moment. Dany smiled at her. As they made their way to the kitchen, they heard Jon’s footsteps coming up behind them, and suddenly, he swept Lyanna off the ground, tickling her sides before gently throwing her over his shoulder, as he often did to Rickon.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked her, as he tickled her side again and to both their astonishment, Lyanna laughed.

            Jon pulled a step stool up to the stove so Lyanna could cook eggs, while Dany set the table. Dany smiled as she watched Jon fry breakfast sausage while supervising Lyanna. Her hand unconsciously drifted over her belly. This was the life she had always wanted as a child. Feeling contentment pervade the kitchen, Dany got out yogurt and berries from the refrigerator hoping they would further entice Lyanna into eating a full meal. Over the last couples of days, since they ate dinner in their ‘castle’, Lyanna had been eating much better, but Dany fully intended to keep up the progress they had made on that front. Dany poured them all glasses of juice and the three of them had just sat down to eat, when the doorbell rang. Ghost scampered to greet whoever it was.

“He’s a little early but I guess it’s Robb,” Jon said as he got up to answer the door.

            Dany and Lyanna continued to eat, but whoever had come to the door, it was certainly more than just Robb.

“How could you not tell me, Jon!” came Arya’s voice.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” said Sansa.

“I didn’t tell them, Sansa already knew,” chimed Robb, sounding defensive.

“Well, you did tell me,” laughed Margaery, “And Bran for that matter.”

“Sansa told me!” Arya snapped.

“How did Sansa know?” asked Jon.

“I’m not stupid, Jon, and I have eyes,” Sansa said, “Robb only confirmed it.”

“Even mom and dad know!” Arya nearly shouted. Dany knew what they were talking about now, and desperately wished they had already told Lyanna because the group of siblings were barreling toward the kitchen and there was no time to stop the impending revelation.

“You all happen to be interrupting our breakfast,” Jon said indignantly, “Wait!” he tried to stop them, obviously realizing the inevitable, as they all poured into the kitchen. Sighing deeply, Jon met Dany’s eyes, helplessly shrugging his shoulders, and Dany gave him a sympathetic smile. As the case with many large families, the Starks had very few boundaries with each other.

“Oh, you must be Lyanna!” Marge exclaimed and went over and gave the girl a hug.

“I’m mad at you too, Dany!” Arya pointed her finger at her but proceeded to turn her attention to Lyanna, “Hi, Lyanna, I’m Arya, I’m the cool one and if you need anything, need me to beat someone up for you, or anything, you just give me a call.”

They shook hands, but Lyanna looked like a deer caught in headlights. Sansa and Robb managed to introduce themselves to Lyanna a little more diplomatically, for which Dany was grateful.

“I want to know how I’m the only one who did not know Dany is pregnant!” Arya finally snapped. Dany’s eyes darted to Lyanna, the girl’s face, like always, was unreadable as she observed everyone.

“Can you all give me, Dany, and Lyanna five minutes?” Jon nearly shouted over everyone’s chatter. The room fell silent.

“Fine,” Arya said in exasperation. Marge looked between Dany, Lyanna and Jon and seemed to piece together the problem of their interruption.

“Come on everyone, we are going down to get coffee, and then we can come back and discuss this like grown-ups,” Marge said, as she tried to hustle everyone out the door.

“I’ve already had coffee,” Robb said, oblivious.

Marge rolled her eyes, and said, “You need some more.”

“Fine,” Arya said.

“Lyanna, sweetie, would you like us to bring you some hot chocolate?” Marge asked the little girl.

Lyanna stared at her blankly for a few seconds before looking to Jon. Jon smiled at her encouragingly, and then Lyanna nodded and said, “Thank you.”

            Once Marge had hustled the group out the front door, Jon sat back down at the table with them, and he reached over and took Dany’s hand. Dany smiled at him. Lyanna was still eating as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

“Lyanna?” Jon started.

Her eyes met theirs. Dany reached over and took her hand.

“We were going to tell you today, sweetheart,” Jon said.

“We did not want you to find out that way,” Dany said, “Will you forgive us?”

Lyanna looked between the two of them and nodded.

“The baby will be here in late August,” Dany explained. Lyanna nodded again. Jon and Dany released a mutual breath.

“Do you have any questions for us?” Jon asked, hesitantly. Lyanna was silent for a second, her eyes flicked back and forth between them.

“Well, I do know where babies come from if that is what you are worried about,” She said tersely, and continued to eat. Jon and Dany chuckled, almost nervously, but that was the end of the conversation. Dany, however, could not help but wonder if more was going on inside the little girl’s head.

 

            When Marge, Dany and Lyanna finally set out to the mall to find Lyanna a new dress for the wedding, Sansa and Arya ended up tagging along. Though by the second store, they had somehow lost Arya, which was no surprise to anyone really, as Arya notoriously hated shopping, especially with Sansa and Marge.

“Oh, isn’t this one darling?” Sansa said, pulling off the rack a light pink dress, with white lace and flowers around the collar. Dany tried not to visibly cringe. She looked down at Lyanna who was clinging to her hand. Lyanna’s eyes met hers, and within them was an almost imperceptible twinkle of amusement.

Margaery brought a form fitting, silver dress for them to inspect. Dany rolled her eyes.

“Margaery Tyrell, she’s ten years old, not a show girl from Volantis!” Sansa snapped.

Marge laughed at that, “The dress isn’t that bad.”

“Lyanna, what kind of dress would you like?” Dany chuckled, as she bent over to Lyanna’s eye level.

“I don’t know,” Lyanna confessed, looking somewhat overwhelmed. Suddenly, it occurred to Dany that Lyanna had likely never spent much time shopping for pretty clothes, especially with a bunch of girly girls like Marge and Sansa, and to a lesser degree herself. She thought about Lyanna’s laundry, and the outfits she had seen. While Lyanna definitely dressed like a little girl, with an occasional skirt or nice top, all of her clothes, that Dany could think of, were very muted colors with few frills, and she had never seen a dress.

“There are also some pretty skirts over here, and a few nice pants options,” Dany offered, as they started. Margaery and Sansa continued to collect an item here and there, seeming to enjoy the novelty of having a child to dress, but Dany tried to remain attune to Lyanna’s reactions.

By the end of the fiasco, they had come down to three options: a black skirt and teal top, a yellow Dornish type gown, and a simple, sleeveless navy-blue dress with a tiny bit of lace around the waist. Lyanna tried them each on with a surprising amount of patience, though Dany did not miss the subtle annoyance that crossed her features every so often, especially as Marge fawned over her.

“Well, what do you think?” Dany asked, expecting her to choose the skirt. Lyanna assessed each one, and then picked up the navy-blue dress.

“This one seems appropriate for a wedding,” Lyanna stated matter-of-factly, and Dany bit back a laugh at how practical she sounded.

“Then that one it is,” Dany said, even as Marge and Sansa had brought more dresses. She waved them off.

As they walked to the cash register, they passed by the baby clothes section and Marge and Sansa were drawn away once again.

“Oh, look how tiny it is!” Sansa crooned over a baby outfit.

“Look at the little shoes!” Marge exclaimed.

“Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl?” Sansa asked.

“No, but I think we find out at our next appointment,” Dany replied.

“I hope it’s a girl,” Sansa said.

“Well, I hope it’s a boy,” Marge said as she picked up a little baseball cap and showed it to Dany, “Just look at how cute it is!”

“Oh, pull yourself together,” said Arya who had appeared from nowhere, surprising them all and slurping on a milkshake. Arya turned to Lyanna, “Did they try to dress you?”

Lyanna’s mouth twitched as if she wanted to smile, “Yes.”

“They’re insufferable,” Arya said with a laugh, “Lets see what you got stuck with.”

“She picked it out herself, thank you very much,” Marge said with a smile, giving Lyanna a wink. Lyanna held up the dress for Arya’s inspection.

“I think it’s perfect, just the type of dress I would have picked,” Arya assured the little girl, and Lyanna smiled. Dany’s heart melted.

That night before bed, Dany tidied up the living room, while Jon took Ghost for a walk. Lyanna was in her room after having informed Dany that it needed to be cleaned, which inspired Dany to clean the living room. When she was finished, she walked down the hall toward her own room to get ready for bed. She passed by the bathroom to see Lyanna standing in front of the mirror, trying to work a brush through a tangle in her hair. When Lyanna noticed her standing there she went to close the door, but Dany stopped it with a gentle hand.

“Let me help you,” Dany offered.

“I can do it,” Lyanna insisted. Dany decided to take a different approach.

“I would love to brush your hair,” Dany said with a smile, and Lyanna studied her for a moment before relinquishing the brush. Dany drew her into her bedroom and sat down cross-legged on the little twin bed with Lyanna sitting in front of her. Gently, Dany separated her hair into sections in order to work the tangles out. Dany thought back on her own lonely childhood, remembering so many tear-filled nights and mornings wrestling with her hair until she learned how to manage it on her own, and taught herself not to cry. Dany combed through Lyanna’s hair in silence, and thought she may have heard a sniffle come from Lyanna, but perhaps, she had imagined it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter teaser: "Lyanna is a child dealing with complex emotions that will eventually come out..." -- Tyrion, chapter 58, paragraph 8


	61. Scrapes (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for all the comments! They made my day!
> 
> This chapter was surprisingly difficult to write, and I'm still not sure that I got it where I want it. I also had so much information to get out, that I ended up needing to split it into two chapters to allow our characters a chance to breathe. I hope it turned out alright, and you all enjoy!

“Oh, my gods…” Dany gasped in horror as they both froze.

“It’s okay!” Jon was quick to say, trying to salvage the moment.

“Oh, my gods!” She repeated; her face had turned as red as a cherry. He was propped up against the headboard of their bed, and she was astride him staring at the thick breast milk that had leaked from her after he had touched her breast. There was some on his hand, and some on his chest, and she looked absolutely mortified. Jon chuckled and started to wipe it off.

“Gods! Don’t wipe it on the sheets! What are you? A barbarian?!” She nearly shrieked as she pulled herself off him, which elicited a groan from him.

“Dany, love, it’s alright,” Jon tried to assure her, but she was frantically searching for a towel and seemed unable to meet his eyes. Jon just watched her.

“I thought leaking usually happened later, I didn’t realize…” Dany rambled as she continued to pace about the room. Jon managed to catch her hand when she walked back by the bed.

“Dany come back to bed,” He said firmly. She still could not seem to meet his eye.

“I’m so embarrassed,” She said. Jon chuckled, but she shot him a dirty look, she rarely appreciated his mirth when she was feeling emotional.

“I’m not,” Jon drew her back into his lap, “I was a little surprised maybe, but not embarrassed.”

“Well, it didn’t come out of you,” She snapped, cheeks still pink. Jon smiled at her and grabbed the shirt he had discarded earlier and wiped his hand and chest.

“Its normal, love.”

“It doesn’t feel normal,” Dany sulked, as she slid off his lap and tucked herself under the blankets. Jon chuckled and snuggled up against her beneath the blankets. She pulled away from him with a pouty look on her face that only made him laugh more.

“I’m not worried about a little breast milk,” Jon smiled, and smoothed some hair, still sweaty from their exertions, from her face. Dany turned her back to him, but not before he saw the tears in her eyes. Jon sighed softly, the emotional highs and lows of pregnancy were always an adventure, and at times difficult to keep up with but he was learning to roll with the punches.

“It’s not very sexy,” She huffed, and Jon roared with laughter now.

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Jon wrapped his arms around her and drew her back against him, one hand cradling her little bump so as not to jostle her, while he slipped the other down between her legs. He nipped at her neck, and jaw line, and shoulders, as she shuddered under his ministrations.

“I think you are sexy…all the time,” He panted before nipping her ear, “Maybe especially like this.”

She moaned softly, and then to his surprise she laughed, “Maybe you are a barbarian.”

Jon chuckled, and nuzzled his nose against her hair.

“Do you think Lyanna will be alright with Ned and Cat tonight?” Dany asked softly. As per instructed by Tyrion, they were going on a date night tonight, it had been a long week and was certainly needed. Ned and Cat had offered to keep Lyanna so she could play with Rickon.

“I think so,” Jon said, though he had his doubts. Lyanna had been with them now for three weeks, and while the first two weeks had been rather uneventful, the third week had begun to produce the chaos that all the parenting books promised. Apart from getting into a fight at school on Monday, it was not necessarily classic misbehavior that they were dealing with, and for all his training as a social worker, and the parenting classes they had taken, he was baffled. On Wednesday, she had attempted to walk Ghost alone, luckily, she had not made it out the door before Dany had caught her. The next day she had tried to rearrange the furniture in her room and nearly collapsed the bookcase on top of herself. Dany had also informed him, that she had started taking her after school snack into her room again, just as she had done the first week, though now she insisted on making the snack herself. Both he and Dany were not sure what to make of it all.

Jon gazed down at Dany when he heard her snoring softly. She had drifted back to sleep. Chuckling to himself, he held her close. In the middle of the night at some point, she had woken him and practically pounced on him. He was not sure what had gotten into her over the last week or so. He looked at the clock: it was 5:30 a.m. They still had an hour before they absolutely had to be out of bed, and the lack of noise from the rest of the apartment indicated that Lyanna was not yet awake, and so he let his eyes drift closed.

 

            Jon woke with a start, smelling something burning. They had overslept their alarms, but it was only 7 a.m. Disentangling himself from Dany after waking her up, he dashed into the hall and saw that Lyanna’s bedroom door was open. Just as he made it to the kitchen, he saw Lyanna standing on the step stool over the stove attempting to cook, and then the smoke alarms went off. Jon raced over and picked her up from under the arms and placed her on the ground away from the stove even as she protested.

“Lyanna! What do you think you are doing?” He snapped.

“Making breakfast,” She said simply. Jon quickly turned the stove top off and put the scorched pan in the sink. Turning on the vent, and opening the kitchen window, he counted to ten trying to calm his racing heart before turning back to the little girl. He raked his hand through his hair. Dany appeared at the kitchen door, looking disheveled and worried. Jon knelt in front of Lyanna.

“You are never ever to use the stove alone.”

“But I…” Lyanna started, looking defensive.

“But nothing,” Jon snapped, trying to keep his tone even, “What were you thinking?”

“I was going to make breakfast,” Lyanna said, her face hard and impassive.

“Why didn’t you come get one of us?”

“I thought you were asleep, and the door was shut,” Lyanna explained, her voice giving away no emotion.

“What have we told you before about the door being shut when you need something?”

“To just knock,” Lyanna answered without hesitation, and then she crossed her arms over her chest, “But I’m not a little kid, I didn’t need help.”

Jon sighed, “Lyanna, you are a little kid.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!”

“I was just trying to help,” Lyanna insisted with pursed lips.

“I know, and we appreciate you wanting to help but it’s our job to take care of you, not the other way around,” Jon explained. He felt like they had already had this conversation, in fact they had had it several times this week.

“Lyanna,” Dany came and knelt in front of Lyanna, “We love that you want to help, and we love letting you cook with us, but using the stove alone is not alright.”

“Fine,” She snapped, and Jon and Dany exchanged a look.

The room was silent as Lyanna cleaned up the mess she had made, and Jon started breakfast over. Dany had gone to the bathroom to throw up. Jon sighed inwardly; they certainly were not the picture of domestic bliss this morning.

“You alright, love?” He asked as Dany made it back into the kitchen.

“Yes,” She said and kissed his cheek, “I’m not getting sick quite as often as I was, which is nice.” Jon caressed her belly that was barely visible under her t-shirt and smiled at her. He noticed Lyanna glance at them out of the corner of her eye, as she finished washing her pan.

 

            Jon and Dany as instructed by Tyrion had date night that night. They dropped Lyanna off at Ned and Catelyn’s to play with Rickon for a few hours, while they went to dinner. Eventually their date night would have to include birthing class before dinner, but that was still quite a few weeks away. Jon pulled Dany’s chair out for her to sit, and after ordering Jon watched her.

“Well, aren’t you going to say anything?” She asked with a teasing smile, swiveling the water in her cup around with her straw.

“What do you want me to say?” Jon laughed.

“How do you feel about this week?” Dany asked. _How did he feel about this week?_ He felt like an inadequate father unable to sort out what was wrong with Lyanna, but could he tell her that? Jon sighed, and reached over and took her hand.

“I’m happy to be here with you.”

“That’s not a real answer.”

“I don’t know then,” Jon said, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing her knuckles, “How do you feel about it?”

“You know you can tell me things, right?” Dany said, giving him a look, “I can tell something is on your mind.”

Jon smiled. She had not said that to him since before the accident.

“What?”

“You have not said that to me since before the accident.”

She blushed prettily and threaded their fingers together, “Well, I’d like to think that I’ve learned to read you a little more, maybe not quite as good as you read me but…”

“It’s not a competition,” Jon chuckled, looking down at their entangled hands.

“Does it still bother you sometimes?” Dany suddenly asked.

“Does what bother me, love?”

“My not knowing…not remembering,” She nearly whispered. Jon met her eyes then, she looked vulnerable.

“I honestly have not thought of it in a while,” Jon confessed, not sure if that was better or worse.

“Tyrion said we were in a honeymoon period,” Dany said with a laugh.

“Do you think the honeymoon period is over?” He was partially teasing but was curious what she would say.

“I don’t want it to be over,” She whispered, and Jon felt his heart melt. Just then the waiter brought their food, interrupting the moment and somehow it was gone. The rest of their meal was spent discussing Lyanna, and the baby, and everything they needed to do in the next few months.

“Aunt Cat’s sister, Lysa will be staying with them for Robb’s wedding,” Jon informed Dany over dessert.

“Oh?”

Jon once again had forgotten that Dany was still relearning all of the details of their life, and she most certainly would not know the bizarre family dynamics awaiting them at Robb’s upcoming wedding.

“Lysa does not particularly like me,” Jon explained and raked his hand through his hair, “Or…or you for that matter.”

“Oh.”

“She also has a son who does not particularly like Rickon,” Jon continued, “Rickon also does not like him.”

“Really? Who could not like Rickon?” Dany laughed. Jon knew it was hard to imagine Rickon disliking someone, the gregarious little boy had never met a stranger, but his relationship with his cousin Robyn was particularly hostile.

“Robyn Arryn,” Jon sighed. Families were difficult and Aunt Cat’s family was particularly complicated, “It’s not that he’s a bad or mean kid, but he is what his mother made him.”

“I guess we need to be careful of Lyanna and Rickon,” Dany said, “They seem to have hit it off so well, I wouldn’t want them to gang up on Robyn.”

“Yes, Rickon can be a little unpredictable when Robyn is around, you know how kids can be,” Jon said, but Dany suddenly looked nervous.

“Don’t worry, after Robb’s wedding we don’t ever have to see Lysa again if we don’t want too.”

“Until Sansa or Arya’s wedding.”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“We should probably do our best to keep the little ones out of any duels,” Dany chuckled. Once they paid for dinner, they headed to the Stark home. This first time leaving Lyanna with relatives, they did not want to be gone long, and so they went straight to pick her up after dinner.

           

            When Jon and Dany arrived at the Starks, they found Ned and Cat curled up together on the back-porch swing drinking tea and watching Lyanna and Rickon play in the yard. Jon wanted nothing more than to be just like Ned and Cat when he and Dany got to be their age.

“How did she do? She didn’t give you any sass, did she?” Jon asked, half joking, half serious.

“She was an angel,” Cat said. Ned considered them for a moment.

“How has she been doing for the two of you?” Ned asked, seeming to sense the unspoken strain. Jon and Dany exchanged a look.

“It’s been a strange week,” Dany admitted. Jon raked his hand through his hair.

They then proceeded to tell Ned and Cat the details of the past week with Lyanna.

“With the exception of getting in trouble at school, it otherwise hasn’t been bad behavior per se,” Jon was not really sure what to call it, “It’s more... almost like she is trying to declare her independence.”

Dany sighed, and agreed, “Yes, she keeps trying to do things on her own, as if trying to prove she does not need us.”

Ned and Cat exchanged thoughtful looks.

“Maybe that is exactly what she is doing,” Ned suggested.

“What do you mean?” Jon asked.

“With as much as she has lost,” Ned continued, “Maybe it makes her feel safe to try and take care of herself and keep the both of you at arm’s length.”

“We can’t just let her take walks alone, and cook by herself,” Jon said.

“No, of course not,” Ned said, “I think it’s going to take a lot of patience, and a lot of repeats of what happened at breakfast, and the two of you reminding her everyday that she is loved and that you are there to take care of her.”

“How did she take the news of baby coming?” Cat asked. Dany sighed deeply and rested her hands on her stomach.

“She has not said much about it,” Dany said, and just as she did, Rickon shrieked for help.

            Startled, all the adults leapt up, and saw Lyanna on the ground on the gravel path. Jon darted out to her while the other adults hustled behind him.

“We were playing knights and maidens, and she fell on the rocks!” Rickon explained, his little face full of concern. He bent down and took Lyanna’s hand, “It’s okay, Jon’s here.” Lyanna looked up at Rickon then at Jon.

“I’m fine,” She said and stood up. Jon could see her knees were scraped up, and one was bleeding. In one smooth motion, Jon picked her up.

“Come on, we need get those knees cleaned up,” He said.

“I can walk,” Lyanna insisted.

“It’s not every day, that I get to be a hero to a fair maiden,” Jon chuckled.

“I was a knight,” Lyanna informed him tersely with a roll of her eyes.

“Even fair maiden knights need rescuing sometimes,” Jon said.

Dany had finally caught up to them, and reached out for Lyanna’s hand, “Are you alright, sweetheart?”

Lyanna strangely shrunk back from her, and insisted, “I’m fine.”

Dany took the rejection in stride, but Jon was only furthered baffled.

“Come on, I have a first aid kit in the kitchen,” Catelyn said, and led them all inside. Rickon was beside himself with worry.

“Rick, it’s just a few scrapes, why don’t you run get some juice and cookies set out on the dining room table for you and Lyanna,” Ned suggested, trying to redirect the boy’s attention. Rickon scampered off eager to please as always.

            Jon sat Lyanna down on the kitchen counter, and Cat handed Dany the first aid kit. When Dany came over to tend to the scrapes, Lyanna drew her knees away from Dany.

“I want Jon to do it,” Lyanna said, coldly.

“Alright,” Dany said softly, but Jon could see the hurt in her eyes. Jon took the first aid kit and began to clean out the scrapes on Lyanna’s knees. The tension in the room had grown thick, but Aunt Cat broke the silence seeming to sense a need to redirect everyone’s attention.

“When’s your next doctor’s appointment, Dany?”

“Next week,” Dany answered, though still attuned to Jon and Lyanna. Cat laid a motherly hand against Dany’s bump, and Dany smiled. Jon noticed Lyanna’s eyes flick over to them.

“Will you find out if it is a boy or girl then?” Cat asked.

“Possibly,” Dany replied, “The doctor said it can be hard to tell before twenty weeks, but if the baby is positioned just right, he might be able to take a guess.”

Lyanna winced as Jon ran alcohol swap over her cuts. Dany came over to her side and took her hand, wanting to soothe. Lyanna pulled her hand away and shifted away from Dany.

“You are not my mother,” Lyanna said softly, and the room fell silent.


	62. Clouds (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this may have been harder to write than yesterday's chapter. This one is pretty angsty, but I promise sweetness too, and more sweetness to come in later chapters. I'm kinda unsure how it turned out, but I hope everyone enjoys it. 
> 
> Thanks everyone for your comments, they keep me motivated!

Jon finished getting Lyanna to bed and came into the kitchen to find Dany cleaning. Her face betrayed no emotion. Even as he got closer to her, she continued to wipe counters and put dishes in the sink. Jon reached for her, but she pulled away from him.

“I’m just going to finish cleaning, you can go on to bed,” Dany assured him. Jon picked up a sponge and started to wash dishes.

“Dany…”

“I’m fine, Jon.”

“Daenerys…”

She stopped her frantic scrubbing and blinked at him. He could see tears gathering in her eyes.

“I’m fine,” She repeated, “I knew this would not be easy, that there would be difficult days and I know this is probably not the last time she will say I’m not her mother… because I’m not…” Dany rambled.

“Daenerys, it’s me,” Jon said, “You don’t have to rationalize it, its okay to hurt with me.”

Jon saw a flash of irritation in her eyes, when she turned to face him.

“You say that, but don’t seem to feel the same way about me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t even tell me how you feel about everything going on with Lyanna, you don’t feel safe sharing your heart with me but always tell me I’m safe with you,” Dany snapped. Jon tried to bite his tongue. He knew she was lashing out because she was hurt.

“Now is not the time to turn on each other, love, we’re a team.”

“Fine, you want to know how I feel?” Dany said harshly, “I feel like shit, Jon, I know I’m not her mother, but she seems to have taken to you just fine, even though you are not her father. I just want to love her, and I want her to feel safe here, but I feel like I can’t do anything right, whereas you always seem to know exactly what to do and say.”

“So, you think it’s my fault that she is struggling with accepting you?” Jon snapped. Dany threw her dishcloth on the counter and sighed deeply.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“What exactly did you mean then?” Jon tried not to be angry, but his tone betrayed him.

“I wish that…” Dany started, her lower lip trembling, “I wish I was as good with her as you are, I guess I’m a little jealous…”

Jon offered her a smile, feeling his anger cool.

“I just thought she and I were making progress,” Dany confessed, “Now it just feels like we took a step forward, then fell two steps back.”

Jon reached for her then and she allowed him to pull her into his embrace. She and Lyanna were so much alike, he wondered if she knew. Jon felt her nuzzle her face against his chest and press a kiss atop his heart.

“I’m sorry, love,” Jon whispered against her hair.

“Jon?”

“Hmm?”

“I want you to know, that your heart is safe with me too,” She whispered, and Jon felt his breath hitch, emotion threatening him.

“I’m sorry for not being more communicative at dinner, I’ll do better,” Jon said. Her arms tightened around him.

“I’m sorry for getting angry,” She said.

“All’s forgiven?” Jon asked and she nodded. Kissing the top of her head, Jon swept her off her feet, and started carrying her like a bride toward their room. She laughed softly, mindful of not waking Lyanna.

“Shall I put you to bed then?”

“If you can carry me,” She chuckled, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, “I’m already significantly heavier than I was.”

Jon huffed, and tossed her a teasing smile, “I can tell.”

Rolling her eyes, she playfully smacked the back of his head, “Now is not the time for jokes.”

“Sorry, sorry, you are right,” Jon laughed as he laid her down on the bed, to where she was propped up on some pillows. Looking into her eyes, he slid his hands to the back of her knees, and gently drew her legs apart. She bit her lip and held his gaze, as he slowly opened her robe, and he smiled at her before pressing a kiss to her knee and then her thigh.

“How shall I make it up to you, love?”

 

            The next morning Jon was not sure if it was merely the shirt she was wearing or if their baby had grown overnight, but Dany looked definitively more pregnant this morning than she had last night. Jon smiled fondly at her, taken aback, as he was occasionally, with how close he had come to losing her not so very long ago. Their life together after their vacation had fallen into place so quickly, it was easy to forget sometimes that the woman he brought home from the hospital after that terrible accident was the one carrying his child and humming as she made breakfast for their daughter.

Interrupting his thoughts, Lyanna came into the kitchen, still in her pajamas and looking adorably sleepy. Jon was prepared for a confrontation but instead she sat down at the table and did not look at either of them. Jon noted that she almost looked shy, like she had looked on her first day with them.

“How’s your knees?” Dany asked sweetly, as she sat a plate down in front of the little girl and smoothed some unruly dark hair out of Lyanna’s face.

“Fine,” Lyanna said, coolly. Jon noticed Lyanna’s eyes flutter shut for a moment as Dany stroked her hair, it was a look he would have missed had he not been studying her. It broke his heart. Lyanna so desperately needed love and was so desperately trying to push everyone away who wanted to give it too her. He wondered if Dany was the first of the foster mothers she had encountered who had attempted to treat her like a mother actually would. _Of course, she was_ , Jon told himself, Lyanna had not been at the other foster homes more than a week, she had not had time to develop any sort of relationship with those foster parents.

“Is that from the baby?” Lyanna surprised them both by asking, indicating Dany’s stomach. Dany smiled, and continued to stroke Lyanna’s hair.

“Yes, he or she is getting bigger,” Dany said. Lyanna nodded, seeming not to know what to say, “Do you want to feel?”

Lyanna looked concerned, but Dany caught her little hand and placed it on her bump, all while stroking Lyanna’s hair. Jon felt tears spring to his eyes as he watched them.

“You probably won’t be able to feel anything yet, as the baby is still quite small, but I thought I might have felt some movement this morning.”

Lyanna and Dany stared at each other, with Dany stroking her hair, and holding her little hand over her stomach.

“You are going to be a good big sister,” Dany whispered, sounding like she might cry. Lyanna quickly withdrew her hand, and turned back to her food, and the moment was broken. Jon, though, could not un-see the fear and vulnerability in Lyanna’s eyes.

 

            It was a lazy Sunday, in which Dany had homework and Lyanna had kept mostly to her room alone, though Ghost sat with her most of the day. After lunch, Ghost needed a walk, and Jon was about to go alone. _Keep reminding her that she is not alone_ , his own words haunted him.

“Lya! Dany!” Jon called. They were going to go for a walk as a family. Ghost had always been a good intermediary with Lyanna perhaps he could be again? Dany appeared after only a moment.

“Lets all go for a walk,” Jon said, and Dany seemed to catch his meaning. Lyanna was creeping down the hallway and giving them a suspicious look. Jon gave her an encouraging smile.

“We’re all going to go for a walk,” Jon said resolutely.

“I don’t want to go for a walk,” Lyanna nearly whispered.

“We all have been in the house all day, we need to stretch our legs, and Ghost needs to relieve himself.”

Lyanna said nothing as she put on her shoes and coat.

            After Jon grabbed a ball and picnic blanket, the three of them set off toward the park. Jon maneuvered them to where Lyanna was holding both his and Dany’s hands, which the little girl seemed a little put out about, but she said nothing. Once they made it to the park, Ghost was once again their hero. Even if Lyanna may have had second thoughts about them, there was no denying that she loved Ghost. Jon spread the picnic blanket out for Dany to lounge on while he and Lyanna chased Ghost with the ball. It was the type of diversion they all needed and had even managed to coax a small smile out of Lyanna by the time they collapsed on the picnic blanket with Dany. Lyanna lay between them, with Ghost at their feet as they looked up at the clouds.

“That one looks like a horse,” Jon said pointing up at the quilted clouds. Lyanna gave him a hard look.

“No, it doesn’t,” She said.

“Well, what does it look like to you?” Jon laughed.

“A cloud.”

Dany laughed at that, “I have to agree with Lya on this one.”

“Rickon calls me Lya,” Lyanna stated softly.

“Is it alright if we call you Lya too?” Jon asked. Lyanna nodded. Jon looked over at Dany, trying to communicate with his eyes, before he pointed at another cloud.

“That one looks like a dragon,” He said.

Lyanna rolled her eyes, but her mouth twitched in a smile.

“Dany weren’t you in the middle of telling us a story about dragons, not so very long ago?” Jon said nonchalantly.

“Aye,” Dany said with a laugh, imitating Jon’s accent, which also made Lyanna’s mouth twitch, “I don’t remember where I left off though, can you help me?” Dany tickled Lyanna’s side, a small giggle escaped the little girl before she quickly masked it.

“You stopped just before the secret prince was going to save all the people that no one else wanted,” Lyanna recalled with perfect clarity, “And the princess rode her dragon for the first time.”

“Ahh, yes, now I remember,” Dany smiled, and wrapped her arm around Lyanna’s shoulder, before continuing on with her story, “You see, all the suffering, and the hurt and the loneliness the prince had endured … had just made him kind…”

 

 

 

            Later that night, the house was quiet. Lyanna was asleep and Dany was showering. Jon sat at the kitchen table his head bent over some overdue paperwork. Ghost suddenly barked at the door. Jon ignored him. The dog had already been outside to do his business for the night. Jon looked down at the text he had received from Davos earlier that evening.

 _“Lyanna’s father has been located. Brienne will have more details in the next few weeks after contact has been made. Brienne will let you know when it is alright to tell Lyanna, but I wanted to give you and Dany a heads up_.”

            The text had filled Jon with an unexplainable rage. As a social worker, he knew that reuniting with blood relatives was one of the main goals of fostering, but Jon bulked at the idea of giving Lyanna away to a strange man, who had had nothing to do with her for the entire ten years of her life, and likely did not even know that her mother was dead. Jon’s own mother had ensured that Ned was his legal guardian in the event that anything happened to her, but Jon wondered how his life would be different if he had been forced to go live with his birth father.... Ghost barked again.

“Ghost, quiet, you’ve already been out,” Jon called out, and the big dog came into the kitchen and nudged him. He heard Dany’s footsteps coming down the hall.

“Jon?” Came her voice, “is Lyanna in there with you?”

“What? No!” Jon leapt from his chair and went into the living, and Ghost scampered after him. Ghost barked at the door again.

“She’s not in her room,” Dany said, and the mounting panic grew thick in the room. Ghost barked at the door.

            In blind terror, Jon threw open the door and ran down the balcony stairs two at a time. She could not be far; it had only been ten or fifteen minutes since he had put her to bed. Hadn’t it?

“Lyanna!” Jon shouted unsure of which way she would have went. It was dark out, and his heart was racing. Suddenly, Jon saw Ghost come flying down the apartment steps, and he looked up to see Dany standing in the doorway. Ghost bounded off in one direction, and Jon followed him, hoping beyond hope that he could trust the dog’s instincts.

“Lyanna!” Jon shouted, trying to control the torrent of emotion inside him, as he sprinted down the street in his bare feet. Ghost barked.

That’s when he saw her walking a little way ahead, Ghost had almost caught up with her. She looked back and started to run when she caught sight of him. Jon ran all the harder, ignoring his protesting feet.

“Go away!” She shouted as she continued to run.

“Lyanna, stop!” Jon shouted at her.

“No!”

Moving as fast as he could, Jon managed to catch up to her and just barely managed to grab her, before she could get away.

“Let me go!” She shouted and struggled from his grasp and whipped around to face him. Jon felt unbidden tears fall from his eyes, as he held her firmly by the shoulders, afraid she would try to bolt again if he let her go. She struggled against his hold on her.

“Are you alright?” He demanded, his voice firm, and not sure what to say. She pushed against his chest. He was angry, and he was scared, and his heart was still pounding.

“It doesn’t matter,” She nearly screamed. Tears were streaming down his cheeks now.

“Lyanna, if you run away like this, they are going to try and take you away from us!” Jon said, sharply.

“I don’t care!” She pushed him.

“Is that what you want?” Jon felt his heart breaking.

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Lyanna tried to wrestle from his grasp.

“Do you want to go back to the group home?” Jon nearly shouted and held her firmly.

“I don’t care!” Lyanna pushed him again, then she hit him, and struggled as he held her shoulders. Jon did not let her go, “I don’t care! I don’t care!” She repeated, hitting him again. Finally, Jon wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her into a hug, and held her, even as she struggled against him. Tears were pouring down his cheeks now.

“I don’t care about castles, or… or dragons…or secret princes,” Lyanna stammered out, her energy seeming to flag, “I don’t care about my hair being brushed! My mother never brushed my hair!”

Jon let her ramble but kept her in his embrace.

“I just want to go home!” She screamed, “I want the General!”

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” He tried to soothe, but she would not let him.

“There isn’t enough room for me!” Lyanna finally shouted, giving him another hard shove. _And there it was_ , Jon realized. She hit him again.

“Lyanna, Lyanna!” Jon tried to get her attention, “Lyanna, stop!” He shouted and she seemed to snap out of her frenzy though she could not meet his eyes. She did not cry, and somehow that broke his heart even more. Gently, he cupped her little face in his hands, urging her to look at him.

“Lyanna, you are our little girl,” He assured her.

“But there isn’t enough room,” Lyanna replied. Jon pulled her back into his embrace, and he felt her wrap her arms around him, as she buried her face against his shoulder, “There isn’t enough room,” she repeated. Jon lifted her from ground, patting her back, as he started to walk toward home. Ghost padded beside them.

“Lyanna, it’s not your job to worry about the amount of space in the apartment,” Jon said softly trying to control the torrent of tears that were still coming from him, “Sweetheart, the baby isn’t coming for awhile yet, and we will move into a bigger place before then, because you are our little girl.” _Keep reminding her she is not alone_.

“You are not going to send me back to the group home?” She asked, and more tears flooded his eyes.

“No, sweetheart, we love you, you are our little girl.” _Keep reminding her she is not alone_.

“What if they take me away?”

“Then we will fight for you,” Jon assured her, “Can you trust me?”

Lyanna said nothing in response, so Jon just held her more tightly in his arms as he carried her home.

            When they arrived at the apartment, Dany was standing on the balcony and ran to them. As she approached, Lyanna turned her face away and buried it against Jon’s neck. Jon did not miss the look of hurt that crossed Dany’s face, but that was an issue to address another time. Lyanna said nothing as he laid her down in bed, but she immediately curled up around Ghost when he jumped up on the bed with her. Jon sat down on the floor at the foot of the bed, and Dany brought them a blanket. She ended up asleep, stretched out on the floor with her head in his lap, but Jon did not sleep at all. If this were a movie, Jon thought, all their problems would be solved after this, the climax having been reached. Unfortunately, Jon knew this was not a movie and this was only the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Jon and Dany find out if they are having a boy or a girl
> 
> Just wanted to warn, It may be a few days before I can update again, but I will get back to it as soon as I can.


	63. Flutters (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments everyone! Here is a more fluffy chapter, to hopefully make up for the angst of last chapter. I hope it is not disappointing!
> 
> In keeping with one of my themes for this story on how different people deal with grief differently, we see Lyanna somewhat more settled in this chapter, that is not to say, however, that her process is over. It is just ebbing and flowing like the grief process. She still has a long way to go.
> 
> Also, I would like to apologize in advance to anyone who are fans of Arianne Martell from the books, because you probably will not like her in this story. And if you really hate her in this story, don't worry, she is not going to be a permanent character. I brought her in really to show how weddings can always be a little messy.

“Wake up, my darling,” Dany whispered against Jon’s mouth, leaning over him where he was asleep on the couch. They had not slept well since the night Lyanna had attempted to run away, and often one, or both, of them ended up asleep on the couch, guarding the front door. She had not attempted to run away again, but they were wary. Brienne had been very understanding when they sat down with her and explained the situation, and even suggested installing an alarm that would go off if the door was opened in the night. Brienne had also had a long conversation with Lyanna that had seemed to quell any further schemes to run away. Still, Dany figured it was better for them to be safe, and so the alarm would be installed tomorrow.

            With his eyes still closed, Jon reached up and threaded his fingers through her hair, and gently pulled her closer. Dany kissed him and felt her stomach flutter.

“I think the baby moved!” She said excitedly, her hands flying to touch her stomach. Jon sat up so quickly, he nearly clashed their heads together. He put his hand flat on her stomach, but she did not feel the fluttering again. Dany sighed. His eager face warmed her heart, but they both knew it was too early to feel any real kicks. She had felt some small fluttering several times this week, but each time she had told Jon, he had not been able to feel them. She was beginning to think him adorably jealous that she could feel them, and he could not.

“Tease,” He laughingly accused her.

“Tease?” Dany feigned indignance, before pressing a somewhat messy kiss on his lips.

“Always telling me our baby is moving when you know very well, I can’t feel,” Jon chuckled. His beautiful dark curls were a mess, and his sweet face looked sleepy and innocent. Gripping his strong arms, Dany pressed him back into the couch, and kissed him again. He groaned against her mouth, while one of his hands slipped to her lower back trying to tug her closer. Dany felt a sharp jolt of desire pulling at her as she sank her hands into his hair and deepened their kiss. _Gods, she wanted him_. Carefully, Dany climbed onto his lap, never breaking their kiss, as she rested her knees on either side of him.

“I love your hair,” Dany whispered against his mouth, and he smiled, “And I love your strong arms,” she panted out giving his muscular arms a playful squeeze before diving into nibble at his neck. He smelled so good. _Gods, she wanted him_.

“What has gotten into you?” Jon chuckled, though his laughing ceased when she snaked her hand between their bodies, and below the waistband of his pajama bottoms.

“And I really like this,” Dany nipped his lower lip, then moved her hand from his front around to cup his ass, “And this.” Jon nearly whimpered as she ground down on him. Jon’s hips bucked into hers, and it was her turn to whimper. Dany felt warmth envelop her, as his hand on her lower back pressed her firmly against him and had her nearly panting against his neck. With one hand to her cheek, he directed her to look at him. Jon rested his forehead against hers, and they looked into each other’s eyes, as she rocked her hips.

“That’s it, love,” His gruff morning voice encouraged, his hand on her lower back moved to her bottom to steady her rather desperate rhythm.

“Oh, oh… Jon….” Dany whimpered softly, and clutched at his hair, feeling a soft shudder go down her spine.

“Ssh,” He whispered, and kept looking at her, and she at him. Sliding his other hand to her bottom, he cupped her on both sides and held her firmly against him as he bucked up against her, and they moved together. Dany was so sensitive that it did not take long for her to come with a soft wail, which she attempted to muffle against his neck, before collapsing against him, and his own release was swift to follow. For a few moments he held her, ghosting his fingertips up and down her spine.

            After a few minutes of silence, he began to urge her up.

“Love, we need to get up and change our clothes before Lyanna wakes,” Jon chuckled, and ran his fingers through her hair. Dany nodded, still feeling overwhelmed. Jon kissed her forehead, and both her cheeks, “Are you alright?” He asked in a teasing tone, his hand gently patting her bottom. Dany playfully tugged his hair, before sitting up and looking into his eyes.

“Do we have to go to Ned and Cat’s tonight?” Jon asked, before placing another kiss on her lips. Dany smiled and sighed.

“Considering you are the best man, I think it is a must,” Dany said, as she regretfully extracted herself from his lap.

“But the wedding is not until next week,” Jon said, as he rose from the couch. As usual, the week before such a large wedding promised to be a flurry of activity, and all the Tyrell’s that could had ascended to Winterfell yesterday, to help Marge prepare. Catelyn and Ned had graciously offered to host a barbeque tonight for everyone, as Catelyn loved to entertain. Dany, herself, was not exactly thrilled about going. According to Jon, she had met all of Marge’s family before, but she could remember none of them, as she had met them during the missing years. While a few snapshots of memory concerning her and Jon, and a handful of less significant memories had returned to her, Dany was learning to live with the loss, and those missing memories did not plague her nearly as often as they did right after her accident. Tonight, though, she was going to be faced with fresh examples of all the memory she had lost.

“We don’t have to stay late,” Dany said, as they went to their room and got dressed for the day, “We can pretend that pregnancy and my doctor's appointment has worn me out,” she laughed and stood on her tip toes to kiss his cheek, and whispered, “Then we can come back here, and you can put me to bed.”

Jon grinned at her, “I love you.”

 

            After her exam, Dany sent a text to Jon to come back for the ultrasound. Jon and Lyanna had been waiting in the waiting room to be called back for the ultrasound to find out if they were having a boy or a girl. They had brought Lyanna with them to their doctor’s appointment today in the hopes that she might feel more included in the process with the baby. Jon had confided in Dany how Lyanna had confessed her fears of there not being enough room in their apartment for all of them. While the confession had broken her heart, it also gave Dany hope that Lyanna did care about staying with them, she just did not know how to express her feelings. It had not been an easy week by any means with Lyanna, but Dany clung to that hope like a lifeline. Jon appeared at the door of her room, carrying Lyanna on his back. He smiled warmly at her, and then she saw that Lyanna was smiling too.

“Is everyone ready?” the doctor asked tersely. Their usual doctor had been called to the hospital for a delivery, and so they were stuck with his associate today. Jon settled in the chair next to Dany, with Lyanna sitting on his lap. He took her hand.

“Do you really want to find out?” Dany suddenly asked. Part of her wanted to be surprised.

“What do you mean?” Jon asked, as the ultrasound tech got Dany prepped for the sonogram. Lyanna looked between them two of them.

“Isn’t that why we’re here?” Lyanna questioned.

“I mean, wouldn’t it be fun to be surprised about whether or not baby is a boy or girl?” Dany laughed. Jon looked incredulous, which made Dany laugh even more.

“I want to know,” He said firmly.

“Spoil sport,” Dany huffed. She was partial to the idea of finding out when she gave birth.

“What about you, Lya, do you want to know?” Jon asked. Lyanna demurely nodded.

“I’ll tell you what I can do,” The doctor said, interrupting their exchange, with a somewhat annoyed expression on his face. Dany had to bite back a laugh at the fact that he probably dealt with this conversation at every ultrasound. “I can write it on a piece of paper, and put it in an envelope, and the three of you can decide together at home if you want to find out.”

“We could always give the envelope to Robb and see how long he can keep it a secret from us,” Dany teased. Jon laughed. The doctor only looked more annoyed.

“I think the only thing that would accomplish, is the whole family knowing before we did,” Jon said.

“How about you two look, and keep it a secret from me,” Dany offered. Jon and Lyanna exchanged a looked and decided they were amenable to this plan. When the scan was done, Jon looked in the envelope and then showed Lyanna, then put the envelope in his wallet.

“I’m curious to see, how long you can hold out, without knowing,” Jon said, on their way to the car afterward, as they both held one of Lyanna’s hands.

“I think I have more self-control than you give me credit for, thank you very much,” Dany laughed, and gave his arm a teasing smack.

“My bet is on Lyanna, holding out the longest,” Jon said with a smile as he opened Lyanna’s car door, “What do you think, Lya?”

“That’s probably true,” Lyanna said, seriously, and Jon and Dany both had to refrain from laughing. From the passanger’s seat, Dany occasionally glanced back at Lyanna in the rearview mirror on their way to the Starks. She was staring with a hard expression out the window, and Dany wondered what she was going through her mind.

 

            When they arrived at the Starks, it appeared that the barbeque was well underway, and the Tyrell’s had long since arrived. They entered the house and were immediately set upon by Rickon.

“I didn’t think you three would ever get here!” Rickon said dramatically as he first threw his arms around Jon, and then around Dany. Dany hugged the little boy, and playfully ruffled his hair.

“Come on, Lya,” Rickon was about to tug her away, when Lyanna’s little arms suddenly wrapped around Dany’s waist. The hug was quick, and she looked as shocked about it as Dany was and so they stared at each other for a few moments. Dany smiled, and Lyanna quickly looked away from her, and scampered off with Rickon. _Small steps_ , Dany told herself, _small steps_.

“Oh, my gods!” A melodious and unfamiliar voice called out. Dany saw Jon grimace beside her. A tall, dark haired woman with beautiful, olive skin, and starry dark eyes approached them, “Dany Targaryen! Or is it Snow now? Did you and Jonny here ever tie the knot?”

“No…” Jon started to say but was interrupted, when the woman squealed, and her hands now going to rub Dany’s belly.

“Is this a little Snow baby? I always knew Jonny was gonna put a baby in you!” She said, and Dany simply stared at her.

“Ari….” Jon started, but the woman interrupted him again.

“Oh, Dany, gods, now I feel foolish, you don’t remember me, do you?” She shook out her mane of dark hair, “I heard about your little accident, I just assumed you’d be all better by now, especially considering you let Jonny get you pregnant.”

Dany felt genuine anger well up inside her. Jon noticed.

“Dany, this is Arianne Martell, she’s one of Marge’s friends.”

“Oh yes, me and Marge go way back,” Arianne said with a coquettish laugh, “In fact, I met Jonny here back when he was in the military, that’s how Marge and Robb met. I think I’ve known Jon even longer than you now, isn’t that funny?”

Dany did not think it was funny at all, but she said nothing.

“Well, it’s good to see you, Arianne, but we need to go check and see if Aunt Cat needs help,” Jon tried to extract them from the situation.

“Oh, I’m sure she is fine with Grandmother Olenna, and Garlan’s wife, Leonette,” Arianne said, and chuckled, “Practically the whole Tyrell clan is here.”

            Clan was an apt term to describe the Tyrells, Dany discovered. They were everywhere, and apparently staying the whole week leading up to the wedding. Marge had three female cousins who had joined Grandmother Olenna, to Marge’s surprise. Apparently, Marge had not known that the three of them were going to be able to make it to the wedding on such short notice. Next Dany was introduced to Margaery’s three brothers, Willas, Garlan, and Loras, as well as Garlan’s wife, Leonette. Jon explained to her in a whisper that she had met Marge’s brothers before, but not to worry because they all knew and understood about the accident. Next, she was introduced to Mace Tyrell, who blustered and huffed, and exclaimed that her accident was a shame to be blamed on the poor upkeep on the roads, and the reckless young drivers this country produced. Dany could only nod in agreement, unsure how to respond.

“If he could find a way to blame the government for his supper being burned, he would do it,” Olenna said with exasperation, as she kissed Dany on the cheek and laid a motherly hand on her belly, “Hello, dear.”

“If Arthur Dayne had been elected Prime Minister, the roads would be better, I guarantee it,” Mace told his mother.

“It seems then that the whole constituency of Westeros is therefore responsible for your accident, Dany, I’m certain you should sue,” Olenna turned her attention then to Jon and patted his bearded cheek as if he were a puppy, “And here’s a pretty lad.”

Jon said nothing, and Dany sniggered. Once Olenna had moved on from them, Jon glared at her.

“It’s not funny, you know,” He said.

“It is a little bit,” Dany giggled, as she moved away from him to greet Cat and Ned.

            Robb pulled Jon away while dinner was being served, and so Dany supervised Lyanna as they walked through the buffet line. Lyanna insisted that she could hold her plate just fine on her own but did not protest when Dany moved to dish food on to it. _Small steps_ , Dany reminded herself. Dany cringed when she saw Arianne sidling up next to her and Lyanna. Arianne patted Lyanna’s head, and Lyanna nearly growled. Dany did not blame the little girl she had felt quite similar when Arianne had touched her belly.

“Oh, isn’t she just a little doll?” Arianne said with a cloying smile, “Olenna, told me you and Jonny were fostering a little girl, and I simply could not wait to meet her.”

Dany felt a fierce protectiveness come over her and draped an arm around Lyanna’s shoulder.

“Arianne, this is Lyanna, Jon’s and my daughter,” Dany introduced them proudly, eyes daring Arianne to challenge her. Lyanna looked up at Dany, her eyes soft for a brief moment that Dany almost missed, but she saw. Jon appeared beside them, like the hero that he was, and took Lyanna’s hand.

“I’ve got a place for us to sit at the picnic table outside with Arya, and Sansa,” Jon said to Dany, “Arianne, I think Marge was looking for you.”

“Oh, yes, well, Marge I’m sure was wanting to discuss the bachelorette party with me,” Arianne laughed and rested a hand on Jon’s forearm, “As Marge’s oldest and dearest friend, I could not leave the bachelorette party to a pregnant woman and the groom’s two sisters!”

Dany eyed Arianne’s hand that was still sitting on Jon’s forearm. She was not sure if it was the pregnancy hormones or not, but she had the somewhat irrational thought that that muscular forearm belonged to her, not this dark-haired stranger. Dany noticed that Lyanna, too, was staring at Arianne’s hand. The little girl looked up at Dany for a moment, and both of them seemed to come to some sort of silent agreement that Dany did not quite understand, but she knew that both she and Lyanna shared a mutual disliking for the hand that was still resting on Jon’s forearm.

“I’m sure that’s it, Arianne,” Jon said, ever patient, as he shrugged her off, and led Dany and Lyanna outside.

            Later that evening long after the sun had set, Dany found herself rocking on the porch swing, and cradling her baby bump as the other young adults played volleyball. Part of her wished she could play. Jon had told her that they used to play all the time, and she wished she could remember. Tonight, had been somewhat overwhelming, as Dany tried to remember sweet times forgotten as well as the names of all of Marge’s relatives, who had all been lovely, if not eccentric to some degree. Dany watched Jon as he lunged for the volleyball and felt her heart skip. He was a good man, so patient and understanding. He never made her feel like she was lesser for not remembering, even when they were struggling right after her accident. She did not know where she would be without him.

The backdoor opened, and Lyanna appeared from inside the house. Quietly and cautiously, she sat down on the porch swing with Dany as she watched Jon playing volleyball, with Robb, Marge, Arianne, Sansa, Pod, Arya and Gendry. Dany noticed Arianne’s exaggerated laugh when Jon made some comment to Robb.

“The General used to call girls like that ‘hussies,’” Lyanna said, suddenly. Dany chuckled; she had a few more colorful names that she wanted to call Arianne but figured she should probably keep them to herself.

“What happened to Rick?” Dany asked, redirecting their attention.

“Aunt Cat said he needed to take a bath before he went to bed,” Lyanna explained.

“I suppose we should get you home and get you ready for bed too,” Dany said, giving the little girl a smile. Lyanna scrunched her nose up for a moment but did not respond. Dany sighed softly and put her arm around her shoulder. Lyanna stiffened for a moment but did not fight it. _Small steps._

“Jon’s coming home too, isn’t he?” Lyanna asked in concern and for the first time Dany did not feel that concern was directed at her.

“Oh yes, Lya, Jon is certainly coming too,” Dany assured her and glared out at the volleyball match once again.

 

            After getting Lyanna down for bed, Jon and Dany shut the door to their room. Dany watched as he took the envelope concealing their baby's gender out of his wallet and placed it on the dresser.

“Are you alright?” Jon asked turning to her, and tenderly cupping her face in his hands, “You seemed a little tired by the end of tonight.”

“I’m fine,” Dany assured him, “It was a little overwhelming, but it was good and I’m glad we went.”

Jon kissed her forehead, “I’m sorry about Arianne, I did not imagine she would be there.”

"Lya informed me that the General called girls like that 'hussies.'"

Jon threw back his head and laughed, "I'd have to agree with Lya and the General's assessment."

“Who was she anyway?” Dany asked, and winced as she realized she had not been able to mask the jealous twinge in her voice.

“I met Arianne when I was stationed South in the military, it was through her that we met Marge. They grew up together.”

“How could Marge be friends with someone like that?” Dany asked, once again unable to hide the disdain in her voice.

“Old friendships can be odd,” Jon said, “Marge has grown and changed a lot from when she was young, but Arianne really hasn’t. I think Arianne was also a little jealous that Marge did not ask her to be a bridesmaid.”

Dany could not help but be curious, “She was rather…familiar… with you… did you and she….?”

“Gods, no,” Jon was quick to assure her, “I think she wanted something to happen between us, but there was no way.”

“I think she still wants something to happen between you,” Dany stated, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Jon kissed her nose.

“This is an interesting side of you,” He laughed.

“What?” Dany laid her head against his chest.

“Possessive,” He smiled. Dany giggled.

“Well, I guess I am,” Dany reached up and kissed him then tossed him a teasing smile, “After all, you are so pretty, I’m surprised all the single girls aren’t trying to steal you.”

Jon playfully rolled his eyes, before backing her up toward the bed, "Now, I do believe this morning, you said something about my putting you to bed tonight."

Dany smiled up at him, feeling so much love in her heart for him she thought it might burst, "Well now, you better get to work, Jon Snow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the notes with this chapter, but I know I also promised a gender reveal in this chapter, but...  
> 1\. I thought Lyanna and Jon trying to keep it a secret from Dany was rather cute  
> 2\. I have not really decided yet if Dany and Jon are going to have a boy or a girl, so if you have a strong preference be free to add it to a comment, and though I make no promises, I will take it under consideration hahaha


	64. Surprises Pt 1 (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's feedback and enthusiasm for the last chapter absolutely made my day! I loved reading everyone's thoughts and comments! Thank you so much! 
> 
> This is a small, mini chapter but I wanted to go ahead and share it, so everyone can get excited for what's coming up next. I unfortunately will not be able to update for at least a week this time, which will probably be the longest I have ever gone without updating. I just wanted to warn everyone since we are used to my frequent updates. I just wanted to ensure everyone that I have not given up the story, I just have a busy next week or two that will keep me from writing. I will get back to it as soon as I can!

“Jon,” Dany’s sweet voice broke into his dreams, and she was shaking his shoulder, “Jon,” she repeated a little more firmly. It was 2 a.m. Jon rolled over in the bed, and blinked his eyes, trying to focus on her face in the dark. Seeing tears in her eyes, Jon sat up.

“Hey,” Jon gathered her in his arms, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” She sniffled. Jon tried not to laugh.

“Well, love, its obviously something,” He stroked her hair and held her.

“The doctor this afternoon said its normal for the second trimester…and…and…” Dany began to cry even harder, and Jon was at a loss.

“What’s normal?”

“But I feel like I shouldn’t have to wake you up in the middle of the night!” She whimpered and pressed her face against his chest in the sweet way that he loved so much, it was a gesture she had not done before the accident, but often did now.

“Dany, what are you talking about?”

“I need to have sex,” the words were spoken so softly they were almost inaudible. Jon nearly choked, his sleepy mind snapping to attention.

“What?”

“Gods, I know it’s ridiculous, we already had sex only like four hours ago,” She sniffled, “But I was thinking about you playing volleyball…. And… and…. I just need you.”

Jon did laugh then. She pulled out of his arms for a moment, and even in the dark Jon could see the fiery look on her face.

“See! Even you think I’m being ridiculous!” Dany huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Jon bit back another laugh and rubbed her back.

“No, no, love,” He tried to soothe, “It’s normal,” he pulled her back against his chest, “And I am always happy to oblige anytime of the day or night.”

Dany wiped at some of her tears, and Jon reached up and stroked her cheek.

“So, we can then?” She asked, her voice was so practical it elicited another laugh from Jon.

“Yes, yes, we can,” Jon chuckled and shifted back against the headboard, drawing her with him. She was kneeling in front of him, and Jon could see her beautiful violet eyes staring at him. He reached out and stroked her legs.

“Are you turning shy on me?” Jon gave her a teasing grin and reached for her hands to pull her closer. She did not go to straddle him, as she had been doing over the last few days, but instead crawled into his lap, to where he was cradling her and wrapped her arms around his neck, laying her head against his chest once again. The sweetness of it nearly undid Jon then and there. She took his hand, and placed it on her breast, and so he gave it a tentative squeeze. She whimpered.

“Alright?” He asked. She nodded against his chest and turned her face against him and inhaled deeply. Dany took his hand and moved it to her baby bump, which he stroked and caressed, as he leaned down and captured her mouth in a kiss. Coaxing her mouth open, he let their tongues tangle together, and he felt her run her fingers through his hair. Their lovemaking earlier that night had been a little bit frantic, and full of laughter, which had been fun and left them both panting afterward. This was different and even though Jon loved their playful lovemaking from earlier in the night, this was infinitely slower and sweeter, and Jon felt like he could love her just like this forever, and he intended to show her.

            Jon reached over, never taking his mouth from hers, and fluffed some pillows, then slowly shifted her from his lap to lean back against them. He loomed over her.

“I want to kiss every inch of you,” He whispered, surprised at how gruff his voice sounded. Jon kissed all over her face first, which elicited a soft giggle from her as she continued to stroke his hair. The giggle turned to soft sighs as he moved to nibble at the tender spots on her neck. He planted a kiss between her breasts, and then moved to nuzzle at them. Mindful of needing to be gentle, he kissed them, and she moaned. Spurred on by the sounds she made, Jon kissed her collarbone, and her shoulders, down the length of her arms, and the underside of her wrists, determined to make good on his promise to kiss every inch of her.

“Jon…” she whimpered, somewhat desperately. Jon kissed her lips once again.

“Ssh,” He whispered with a smile, the last thing he wanted was to wake Lyanna, or Ghost, “Let me take care of you, love.”

Placing his hand on her hips, he bent down and feathered, open-mouthed kisses across her belly. Her delicate fingers were once again petting and threading through his hair. Jon planted a kiss just below her navel, and his heart constricted with emotion as he thought about the contents of that envelope sitting on their dresser.

            Glancing up at her in the dark for a moment, Jon gently nudged her legs apart, moving to kiss her calves, and her knees, and then her thighs.

“Jon…” came another desperate moan from her, as she gave his hair a little tug. When he dipped his head between her legs, and kissed her where he wanted to the most, she moaned and gripped his hair so tight he thought she might have pulled some out, but it was a small price to pay to hear those beautiful sounds.

“So sweet, so soft….” Jon crooned against her. He took his time, lavishing her with kisses, not wanting to rush, not wanting to waste a single moment. Finally, she gripped his hair again.

“Jon, I want you….”

Jon chuckled and placed another soothing kiss against her thigh before sitting up and pulling her into his lap, though she was still reclining back into the pillows. He grabbed her hand, urging her up.

“Come here, love, I want to hold you,” He whispered, and pulled her close wrapping his arms around her, as she sank down onto him, and they moved together. Jon could feel her baby bump pressed against his abdomen, cradled between them, and he kissed her, his mind once again drifting to the contents of that envelope.

 

 

            Jon hung up the phone with the doctor and continued to eat his breakfast and read his newspaper. He eyed the envelope that the doctor had given them which sat on the table next to him. _It was not an uncommon thing to miss in early pregnancy_ , the doctor said to him over the phone, _it was something that was often confirmed in the second trimester scan anyway_. It was not their usual doctor who had seen them yesterday at their appointment, and so he had assumed they already knew. Jon sighed, that doctor had been so impatient to get them out of the office yesterday, Jon was surprised he had not missed other things. Jon had been a little speechless after looking at the contents of the envelope but decided to keep the secret thinking it did not make much of a difference. As reality had set in, however, he had been able to process the information, and thus it had prompted him to call the doctor’s office this morning to make sure it was not a mistake. He eyed the envelope again and touched its edges. He had to tell Dany.

            Lyanna finally made an appearance, with Ghost padding beside her. In her usual quiet, but resolute way, she poured herself a bowl of cereal and sat down with Jon. He and Lyanna were going to spend the day together, just the two of them. Dany would be with Olenna most of the day getting her bridesmaid’s dress fitted and altered, as she was certainly bigger now than when they had tried on the dresses. Lyanna looked at him, and then at the envelope.

“Did you tell her?” Lyanna asked, her voice betraying no emotion.

“No, I wanted to call the doctor’s office and make sure it wasn’t a mistake,” Jon explained.

“What did the doctor have to say for himself?” Lyanna asked tersely, and Jon smiled. There were days when Lyanna was quiet and withdrawn, but it was always refreshing when her fiery little personality made an appearance.

“He said that since we are not usually his patient, he had assumed without asking that we already knew,” Jon explained. Lyanna snorted in disdain. Jon opened the envelope and read the doctor’s swirly handwriting again…

                                    _“Baby #1: Male, Baby #2: Unclear.”_

“What did _unclear_ mean?” Lyanna asked, with a childlike curiosity that he had never heard from her. Jon smiled, and ruffled her hair which caused her to scrunch up her nose.

“He said the second baby was hiding behind the boy, and so he could not tell if it was a boy or girl,” Jon explained, with a smile, “He said that might also be the reason baby number two was not caught before.”

“We have some explaining to do when Dany gets home,” Lyanna said gravely. Jon chuckled.

“Yes, yes we do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo obviously... I was not able to decide between a boy and a girl, and decided this would be the best compromise, as I eventually want them to have three kids anyway. 
> 
> As previously mentioned, a long time ago, I am not a healthcare expert by any means, and I've never had a baby, so all of my knowledge on these things is coming from web research. So I'm not really sure that this twin reveal is plausible. If it is unrealistic I am sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.


	65. Surprises Pt2 (Jon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Lyanna spend the day together, before telling Dany about the twins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I know I said it would be a week.... but apparently I'm writing fanfiction at the expense of reality now, haha. Anyway, I had jolt of inspiration in the middle of the night last night, and did not want to lose it so I wrote it out, and thought that since I had it, I might as well type it up and post it. It was written rather hastily, but I hope it is not disappointing. 
> 
> As always, thanks so much for your comments and enthusiasm, I love reading them and they keep me inspired!

Lyanna took his hand on her own initiative as they walked toward the park with Ghost. Jon smiled. She was not prone to overt displays of affection, but these little gestures were becoming more common ever since her outburst last week. He took it for what it was…a sign of progress. While Dany was out getting her final dress fitting, Lyanna and Jon were spending the day together and their first activity was at the park. Davos was bringing Shireen to meet Lyanna, and so that she could feed the ducks. Jon hoped they got on well, he wanted Lyanna to have friends her own age, as he was not sure if she had any from school. She had not mentioned any at least.

“Do you think the other baby is a boy or a girl?” Lyanna suddenly asked, while she attempted to mask her curiosity.

“I guess there is a fifty, fifty chance either way,” Jon chuckled, and Lyanna rolled her eyes, “Do you have a preference?”

Lyanna thought for a moment, “One of each could be good.”

Jon was happy to see that the news of baby number two had not unsettled her, as news of baby number one had.

“Do you have any worries you want to talk about?” Jon asked, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“We need to start looking for a bigger house,” Lyanna said, seriously. Jon had to bite back a laugh.

“Aye, we do,” _a house with a red door_ , “But that’s not exactly the type of worries I meant.”

Lyanna considered him, and then shook her head. Jon supposed that would have to do for now, as they had reached the park and he could see Shireen running toward them.

“Jon!” The little girl came barreling toward them and threw herself into Jon’s arms for a hug. Lyanna eyed her curiously, like she often did to Rickon when Rickon got excited.

“Lyanna, this is Shireen,” Jon placed his hand on Lyanna’s shoulder and urged her forward. Shireen’s resilience never ceased to amaze Jon, as the little girl, who had suffered through abuse and neglect, threw her arms around Lyanna without fear and hugged her. Jon dearly hoped they could be friends.

            Davos caught up with them and greeted Jon with a firm handshake.

“This is my Dad,” Shireen introduced him to Lyanna. Lyanna glanced up at Jon.

“Yes,” Davos shook Lyanna’s little hand, “Lyanna and I have met briefly, and I am very happy to see her again.”

Shireen took Lyanna’s hand next, “Come on, my Mom gave me enough bread for both you and me to feed the ducks. She said Jon, being a man, would forget.”

Jon rubbed the back of his neck in chagrin. He had forgotten to grab the heels of bread that Dany had left for Lyanna this morning before she left. Shireen urged Lyanna to come with her, and Lyanna looked up at him for silent permission, and when he nodded, the two girls took off toward the duck pond, with Davos and Jon trailing behind them.

            Jon and Davos watched as Shireen showed Lyanna how to feed the ducks. They remained far enough away to allow the girls to get to know each other without them hovering but close enough to keep an eye on them.

“We’ve made contact with Lyanna’s father,” Davos said, as they walked. Jon bristled but tried to hide it by throwing Ghost’s ball for him.

“Brienne will tell Lyanna at their visit this week, I just wanted to let you know, so you and Dany can prepare for any emotional ramifications that may have on Lyanna,” Davos continued.

 _What about the emotional ramifications on us?_ Jon wanted to ask, but still said nothing. They had not only grown accustom to Lyanna in their lives, they also wanted her in their lives, could her estranged biological father say the same?

“Now,” Davos pushed, “I know you and Dany both love her, but the number one goal of foster care is….”

“Reunification, I know,” Jon finished, with a huff, “You don’t have to quote the rule book at me, Davos.”

“If you have to give her up, it will not be like moving on to a new case,” Davos stated. The words felt harsh and cold to Jon, but he knew he needed to hear them, in the event that Lyanna was snatched away from them. It did not seem fair that he should keep on sacrificing, Ned had told him right after Dany had left him after her accident. Jon looked up at Lyanna, where he heard her small, controlled laugh with Shireen. He felt like his heart was going to break clean in two.

“I’m not trying to hurt you, lad,” Davos put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, “But we all have to keep in mind what’s best for the children.”

 _How could sending her to another total stranger be what’s best for her?_ Jon wanted to snap, but once again he held his peace, while they joined their daughters who were beckoning to them.

 

            “You’re a mess,” Jon laughed as he sat Lyanna up on the kitchen counter when they got back from the park. She and Shireen had gotten thoroughly dirty at the pond, which Jon took to mean that the two girls had hit it off. Jon wiped her hands off with a towel.

“It’s not that bad,” Lyanna said in exasperation. Jon playfully scrubbed at her dirty face.

“You’ve even got mud on your face,” He teased, and she looked like she might laugh, but caught herself. He untied her muddy shoes and sat them in the sink. Lyanna was studying him thoughtfully.

He chuckled, “What?”

“Davos adopted Shireen, didn’t he?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“She called him Dad.”

“Aye, I suppose she did, didn’t she?” Jon said casually, as he scrubbed at her shoes, curious where this conversation was going.

“I never had a Dad,” Lyanna said. Jon gave her little hand a pat.

“Neither did I.”

“You call Uncle Ned ‘dad’ sometimes,” She commented, as she swung her legs back and forth off the edge of the counter.

“Yes, Ned was always like a dad to me,” Jon said, and she nodded her dark eyes studied him revealing nothing of her thoughts.

After a few moments of silence, while Jon continued to scrape mud from her shoes, she finally spoke, “Should I call you ‘dad’?”

The rag he was using to scrub her shoes nearly jumped from his hands, her question taking him completely off guard. He had to fight back a sting of tears.

“You can,” he said, trying to sound casual, “But only if you want too.”

Lyanna nodded thoughtfully once more.

“I don’t think my mom would like it very much if I called Dany ‘mom,’” She said it so quietly, Jon almost missed it. He stopped what he was doing. This was the first time she had ever voluntarily mentioned her mother, she occasionally talked about the General, but never her mother. Jon tried not to act surprised, not wanting to scare her off.

“I think your mother would want you to be happy, whether that meant calling Dany ‘mom’ or not,” Jon said, not really sure what to say.

“My mom wasn’t like Dany,” once again her voice was almost inaudible.

Jon tried to encourage her to continue, “How so?”

“My mom wasn’t…” She searched for the right words, scrunching her nose up in that endearing way she had, “She wasn’t…wasn’t pretty… and… and soft like Dany.”

            Jon smiled at her sweet childlike description of Dany.

“What was your mother like?”

“She…she…” Lyanna stumbled over her words once again, as Jon helped her down from the countertop and handed her a bottle of juice, “She did not build sheet castles… or brush my hair.”

“All mothers are different.”

“But I loved her,” Lyanna whispered, and Jon thought he heard a small sniffle, but he looked away, not wanting to embarrass her. Lyanna was quiet for a moment, as they went to sit down in the living room.

“I like it when Dany brushes my hair,” the little girl whispered, and Jon gave her hand a squeeze.

“I know Dany likes to brush your hair too,” He said, and Lyanna nodded but Jon did not miss the look of pure vulnerability in her eyes.

 

            Jon and Lyanna were playing chess and eating a pizza they had delivered when Dany made it home. Lyanna had informed him that the General had taught her to play chess when she had been a little girl, Jon refrained from reminding her that she was, in fact, still a little girl. He managed to dig out his old chess set, and upon seeing how dingy it had become, he made a mental note to perhaps purchase her a new one when her birthday came. _If she is still with you_ , a dark voice in his head chanted, and he felt physical pain at the thought of losing her.

            When Dany entered, Jon noted that she looked exhausted as she tweaked the end of Lyanna’s hair and planted a kiss on his cheek. She sat down beside him and snatched a slice of pizza.

“And what have you two darlings been doing this afternoon?” Dany asked.

Lyanna and Jon exchanged cautious glances, knowing what needed to be said, but not knowing how to begin. Jon started off by telling Dany about their afternoon, but after Lyanna gave him an accusatory look, he cleared his throat.

“Dany…”

“Hmmm?” She responded, sleepily.

“Lyanna and I….” Jon started.

Lyanna grimaced as if to tell him to leave her out of this.

“We need to tell you something,” He continued.

“It’ll probably help wake you up,” Lyanna said casually, as she moved her chess piece. Jon nearly choked.

Dany sat up, “What is it?”

“Um…” Jon really had no idea what to say, “Well…”

Lyanna glared at him.

“Yesterday at the doctor…”

“Mhmm?”

“There was a little mix up.”

“What kind of mix up?” Dany asked, sounding concerned.

“The doctor saw on the ultrasound….”

“Is something wrong?” Dany’s hand instinctively went to her stomach, fear in her eyes, “Is something wrong with the baby?”

“No, no, love, I’m sorry,” Jon stroked her arms to calm her, “You’re fine…and… the…the babies are fine.”

Dany looked at him, then Lyanna, and then back at him.

“Babies?” She asked, blinking. Jon could almost see the gears turning in her mind.

“Is she going to faint?” Lyanna asked him seriously.

“Babies?” She repeated.

“Yes,” Jon confirmed, not sure how to interpret this reaction.

“More than one baby?”

“Aye, two to be exact.”

“Twins,” Dany said still stunned.

“Yes,” Jon assured.

“The second baby was hiding behind the boy,” Lyanna said, matter-of-factly, then clapped her hand over her mouth, and her face turned bright red as she realized she had just given away their secret. The tension was broken then, as Jon and Dany broke into a fit of laughter, which even drew a smile out of Lyanna. Jon mussed her hair.

“Well, I guess, Lyanna loses that bet.”

“A boy,” Dany was beaming now, happy tears in her eyes, “And the other baby?”

“You don’t want to be surprised?” Jon teased.

“Out with it, Snow, no more surprises.”

“Well, unfortunately, because of the way baby two was hiding behind big brother, the doctor could not tell, so it looks like we will all be surprised at the next ultrasound,” Jon said. Dany was smiling at them, and then she pulled both him and Lyanna into a laughing hug.

 

            After a movie, Lyanna’s eyes were getting heavy, and her head was nodding. Jon motioned to Dany, who smiled. Jon took Lyanna by the hand and urged her up.

“Come on, princess.”

“I’m not a princess,” Lyanna insisted sleepily, as she nearly slept-walked toward her room. Jon and Dany followed her. Jon watched as Dany tucked her in, pulling the blankets up around her, and smoothing some hair out her face, before leaning down to kiss her forehead. Jon felt pain shoot straight to his heart.

“I love you, Lya,” Dany whispered. Lyanna’s eyes were closed.

“And I love you too, sweetheart,” Jon said. Dany kissed her forehead one more time, and when she did, Lyanna’s little hand reached out, and gently patted Dany’s baby bump,

Sleep having apparently lowered her inhibitions, she whispered, “I always wanted a brother and sister.”

 

            After putting Lyanna to bed, Jon took Ghost for a walk. When he returned, he let the big dog into Lyanna’s dark room, where he had become accustom to sleeping, before Jon went into his own room. Dany was sitting on the bed, tears pouring down her cheeks. He went to her.

“I am happy, I really am!” She sobbed and reached up and stroked his bearded cheek as he sat down beside her on the bed, “It’s just all these pregnancy hormones are making me crazy!”

Jon pulled the blankets up around her and urge her to lie down.

“You have two babies growing inside you, I think you should cut yourself some slack.”

Her cheeks blushed, and her eyes twinkled as she looked up at him, “Two babies… when you set your mind to something, Jon Snow, you really get the job done.”

Jon laughed, “Well, I guess I was very determined.”

Dany giggled and pulled at his hand to get him to get in bed with her. Jon did and curled up behind her, her back to his chest. She was still crying, and so Jon stroked her swelling tummy, and pressed kisses into her hair.

“I am happy,” She assured him, “I’m just happy, and scared, and stunned, and I’m not sure how I am all three at the same time.”

He understood that feeling all too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter (coming as soon as real life allows): Dany processes having twins, Dany and Lyanna have some bonding time, Brienne tells Lyanna about her father, and hopefully Robb and Marge's wedding.


	66. Daughter (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your comments they keep me going! I am so glad so many are enjoying this story, writing it for you has been so much fun! 
> 
> Here is an angst filled mini chapter. I hope everyone enjoys. Sadly, I did not quite make it to Robb and Marge's wedding which will be a little bit lighter, fluffier chapter, but it will be coming soon.

Two babies… as she laid on the couch, Dany stared first at her swelling bump, and then at the ceiling. They had gone from a family of two to a family of five in just shy of four months. As happy as she was, she could not help but feel slightly overwhelmed as she contemplated being a mother of three. _If Lyanna is allowed to stay_ , came a bitter voice in her head. Dany glanced over at Lyanna, who had fallen asleep on the recliner as soon as she had sat down after they got home from school today. Dany smiled. She loved the little girl just as much as the two babies that were growing inside her. Brienne would be here soon to tell Lyanna about her father, and Dany felt sick to her stomach. Jon had to be at court today with one of his clients and a more cowardly part of her wished Jon was here to face Brienne’s news, he always seemed to know what to say to Lyanna to help her. Dany doubted her own abilities to soothe and comfort their little girl. She looked down at her bump again… she doubted her abilities to be a good mother in general. What did she know anyway about babies and mothering?

            The ominous knock on the door sounded… Brienne. Dany sighed. The inevitable had arrived. Managing to pull herself off the couch, Dany could only imagine how hard that was going to be when she got even bigger.

“Lya,” Dany shook Lyanna’s shoulder gently to wake her. Lyanna’s eyes fluttered open and focused on her face, and for a moment Dany thought she saw affection there.

“Brienne is here, sweetheart.”

Lyanna yawned and nodded, and Dany went to answer the door.

            Brienne was tall and terse, and a formidable match for Lyanna, for which Jon and Dany were grateful. She was also endlessly reasonable and understanding which they also appreciated, as they navigated being first time parents to a ten-year-old. As was her custom when Brienne came to visit, Dany made herself scarce by going into her bedroom and reading or doing homework so they could have their privacy. She felt fidgety today though and wished she could be a fly on the wall of the living room to hear what was going on. Ghost watched her as she paced. Then she sat down and started flipping through birthing class brochures. After watching Missy give birth, Dany had been less than enthusiastic about contemplating the inevitable birth of her own baby… _babies_. Once the initial shock had worn off after a week or three, Dany had once again found her resolve to have a natural birth. Jon still assured her that they had plenty of time to make these decisions, but Dany, as always, was impatient.

 

When Dany heard Brienne and Lyanna talking a little louder, it usually indicated that they were done with their talk, and so Dany crept out to survey the damages. Brienne merely nodded at her. Lyanna sat very still on the sofa, her face like chiseled ice. Dany bid Brienne goodbye, before coming to sit on the couch next to Lyanna, weighing her words. She wanted to say something comforting, something soothing, something that would shake the little girl out of the self-imposed slumber she had been in since the death of her grandfather. Instead, Dany took her hand, and Lyanna did not pull it away this time.

“Brienne said I’m going to get to meet my father,” Lyanna commented, her voice short and sharp. Dany said nothing, hoping that would allow her to go on.

“I never knew I had a father,” Lyanna said.

“I never knew my father either,” Dany whispered gently, “Or my mother.”

Lyanna gave her a hard look, “you were an orphan... like me and Jon?”

Dany nodded, feeling tears sting her eyes.

Lyanna’s eyes were helpless, and childlike as she whispered, “Are they going to take me away from you and Jon?”

Dany gathered Lyanna in her arms and held her. Not that Dany was surprised but Lyanna did not cry. Lyanna never cried, but she did wrap her little arms around Dany and pressed her face against her shoulder.

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Dany choked back her own tears, “but whatever happens….” A few tears slipped down her cheeks, “Whatever happens… Jon and I are going to make sure you are safe and protected and wanted.”

Dany rocked Lyanna in her arms, not wanting to let her go.

Dany just held her for the longest Lyanna had ever allowed her, and they were silent. _What could be said?_ Dany asked herself, if Lyanna’s father wanted her there was nothing they could do about it. Dany tried not to be bitter, but she was, and she tried not to resent the man who could take her daughter away from her, but she did.

“Brienne said that he would be in the North on business next week, and they were arranging a meeting,” Lyanna finally said. _Business_. Could he not even come to meet his daughter without having other matters to attend?

“Brienne said that she would call you and Jon when she had the final details,” Lyanna explained softly. Dany smoothed back some of Lyanna’s hair from her face. The little girl was still allowing Dany to hold her, and so Dany did not want to break the precious bubble they were enveloped in.

“Dany?”

“Yes?”

Lyanna sat up and looked at her, her eyes strangely shy, “Could you… could you braid my hair? Like… like yours?”

Dany touched her cheek, and tried to follow the example Jon always set, by not acting surprised by her request.

“Of course!” Dany scampered off and got a comb, and some hair ties. Lyanna was gnawing on her lower lip when she returned.

“I think we should put on our pajamas and make hot chocolate,” Dany said, with a smile.

“Why?” Lyanna gave her a strange look, “It’s still the middle of the day.”

“It could be fun,” Dany said casually. Lyanna shrugged, still eyeing her curiously, but followed her to the kitchen to make hot chocolate, before going to their rooms and changing into their warm pajamas.

 

After braiding Lyanna’s hair into a crown around her head, and slurping hot chocolate, Lyanna and Dany sat toe to toe on the sofa playing a board game.

“You’re cheating!” Lyanna exclaimed, with a stifled giggle, as she closed her _Battleship_ board. Dany had already sunk three of Lyanna’s five ships and discovered that she was remarkably good at this game.

“I do believe, Lya, that you just need to hide your ships better,” Dany laughed.

“I think you are peeking at my board,” Lyanna accused.

“I think you are a sore loser,” Dany teased, and reached down and tickled Lyanna’s feet, and to her surprise the girl shrieked in laughter and nearly kicked Dany’s board from her lap. Dany tickled her again. When Lyanna laughed, Dany startled as she felt, not just a flutter, but a definitive movement inside her.

“Oh, my gods…” Dany said. Lyanna looked at her, concerned.

“What is it?”

Dany laughed, “I think one of the babies just kicked.”

“Really?” Lyanna looked overwhelmingly curious as she crawled closer to Dany on the couch. Dany felt the kick again.

“Here,” Dany took Lyanna’s little hand and placed it on her belly. She placed Lyanna’s hand on her belly and moved it just in time for her to feel the baby kick again. Lyanna looked startled at first but then she smiled.

“I felt that,” she said in wonder. Dany laughed and drew the little girl back into her arms.

“I think they know your voice,” Dany whispered as she planted a kiss atop Lyanna’s head.

“They can hear me?”

“Yes, and I think they know the voice of their big sister,” Dany held her a little tighter. _Gods, she did not want to let her go_.

 

            Jon texted informing Dany that he would not be home until late, as after court he had to go back to the office for a meeting with Davos, and to finish a few articles of paperwork that had to be turned in before the morning, which left Lyanna and Dany to their own devices. Dany cooked them a casserole for dinner, and they watched a movie before bed. Lyanna kept her hair up in the braided crown.

“Will you keep telling me the dragon story?” Lyanna asked, as Dany tucked her in. Dany chuckled.

“Yes,” Dany turned out the light, and sat down at the foot of her bed, “Where was I?”

“The secret prince became a king and was going to meet the dragon princess for the first time.”

“Ahh, yes,” Dany held Lyanna’s hand, “The long night was coming the prince knew, and he knew that he had to save his sister and his people no matter the cost…”

“Are the prince and princess going to fall in love?” Lyanna suddenly giggled. Dany laughed, the question surprised her, but Lyanna was always surprising her.

“Now you are getting ahead of me,” Dany teasingly scolded.

“I just want them to be in love… like… like you and Jon,” Lyanna sighed sleepily, then hesitated before adding, “Do you… do you think my father loved my mother?”

Dany did not know how to respond to that and so she gave Lyanna’s hand a little squeeze and wove her tale until she fell asleep, all while silent tears streaked Dany’s cheeks.

 

            Lyanna was sound asleep, and the apartment dark and quiet, while Dany aggressively scrubbed their dinner dishes. Tears were still coming uncontrollably down her cheeks as she thought about Lyanna. She was angry. Dany was angry at Lyanna’s father for never being there for her. She was angry at the new gods, that she did not believe in, for killing Lyanna’s mother and grandfather, and she was angry at the old gods for their sullen silence. Dany nearly cut herself on a knife in the sink as she scoured the dishes. She was angry at the agency for jerking Lyanna from place to place never allowing her time to heal, and she was angry at Brienne for breaking the news and leaving them there to pick up the pieces.

“Dany?” Jon’s voice called out softly from the front door. She heard him come into the kitchen and start to wrap his arms around her. Dany whipped around and gave him a firm shove. He looked completely taken aback.

“Is this what social workers do?” She lashed out. Jon still stood there in stunned silence, and so she continued, “Jerking children around from place to place until they are exhausted, and… and…. and breaking…. breaking parents’ hearts….”

Jon tried to wrap his arms around her, but she pulled away. She did not want his comfort, she wanted to be angry and she wanted to hurt.

“Did you take a child away from a parent today?” Dany demanded, knowing it was not a fair question. Jon sighed deeply.

“Aye,” He said, with that broken look he often got when he came home from court.

“Why?” Dany was weeping.

“It was what was best for the child.”

Dany nodded, and tried to control her tears.

He was looking at her with such sympathy, that she could not look at him, “Dany, what happened?”

“She’s my daughter, Jon, ours,” Dany sobbed, and understanding dawned in his eyes, “And… and… they are just going to rip her away from us to give her to some…some suit… who only came to meet her because he was in the North on business!”

“Dany, nothing’s been decided…”

“I don’t care, I don’t want her to go,” Dany sobbed. Jon reached for her again, but she pushed his hands away. He looked wounded, and she did not know why she was being so harsh but could not bring herself to care.

“Daenerys, we always knew this was a possibility…”

Dany turned her back to him, hating his logic. Of course, they always knew this was a possibility, but she had never accepted it, in the deepest recess of her heart, she had always imagined they would adopt Lyanna.

“I love her,” Dany whimpered.

“What? And you think that I don’t?” He nearly shouted. Dany flinched. Jon rarely raised his voice, “Dany, I love her, I want her to live with us in our house with the red door, I want her to meet her siblings, and I want to see her graduate college, and I want to walk her down the aisle at her wedding! Because she’s my daughter too!”

Dany turned to face him then and saw that he was crying too. Tentatively, he reached for her again, and this time she fell into his arms.

“Next week is just a meeting, love, they have made no decisions about her going or staying,” Jon tried to soothe, “But we can’t begrudge her getting to meet her biological father.”

Dany nodded against his chest. They were silent for a moment, before Dany looked up into his stormy grey eyes.

“If they let us keep her, Jon, I think we should adopt her,” Dany said firmly and wiped at her eyes.

Jon gave her a gentle smile, “Aye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Robb and Marge's wedding weekend.


	67. Wedding (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this chapter was a challenge to write, and I was beginning to think it was never going to be finished. I am nervous about how it turned out, but I hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for all of your encouraging comments! 
> 
> This also may be one of the longer chapters I've written, which I did not realize until I went to post it.

Dany and Sansa drove from University together to pick up Lyanna from school, so that they could go to the Starks and help Marge with last minute wedding preparations. They had the rehearsal dinner tonight, at which an abundance of relatives would be in attendance. Dany felt a mounting anxiety, as inevitably conversations would lead from babies, to Lyanna, to all of her missing memories.

“The last time I saw my Aunt Lysa, she told me I was wasting my life away going to school,” Sansa groaned, “I think she thinks that just because she got married at eighteen, that every girl should.”

Now was Dany’s turn to groan, she was not looking forward to becoming reacquainted with Aunt Lysa, especially since she had no idea why Lysa was inclined to dislike her.

“Lysa is the one who introduced me to Harry,” Sansa said quietly, “And I don’t think she has never quite forgiven me for breaking up with him.”

Families were difficult, Dany knew that better than most. Images of her two brothers flitted through her mind.

“Sansa, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want too,” Dany started, “But what happened with Harry?”

Sansa’s face grew serious, “Harry was a serial cheater and a pathological liar.”

“How long were the two of you together?”

“Two years,” Sansa sighed deeply, “I fully intended to marry him too, he was a few years older than me, handsome, rich and charming, and I thought we were in love.”

Dany felt an overwhelming sense of guilt wash over and mix with her anxiety. She knew her missing memories were not her fault, but there would always be days where she was overwrought with a fresh sense of loss, and she hated that she knew nothing of such painful memories of one of her dearest friends.

“Robb found out only a few months after we started dating, he tried to tell me but I was too stubborn and smitten to listen,” Sansa shook her head at the memory, “In the last few months we were together Harry became very verbally abusive, and I felt worn down and trapped.”

Dany had felt the same way, first with Viserys and then with Drogo, then by the time she had started dating Daario she had become used to it. All those horrible memories occasionally still felt so close to her mind.

“Jon was actually the one to help me see that I deserved better,” Sansa said, “Robb and I were not speaking, and all Robb seemed able to do was judge my horrible decisions, but not Jon… Jon was patient with me.”

Dany smiled softly.

“The day I finally decided to break it off, I was so scared,” Sansa confessed, “Jon went with me, promised to protect me, and he waited on the front porch while I broke up with Harry and then he drove me home to mom.”

Dany’s heart could have burst with love and pride. Jon was a hero to more than just her it would seem.

“I’ve been a little gun shy with men ever since.”

“But not with Pod?”

“No,” Sansa’s mouth formed a sweet, secret smile, “No, not with Pod.”

 

            The Stark Manor was abuzz with activity and full of people. Dany took Lyanna’s hand, and held it tightly, hoping that they might draw courage from each other as they followed Sansa inside. Most of the Tyrell women were busily putting together last-minute decorations. Margaery was fluttering about with her usual airy charm, making sure every cog in her well-oiled machine ran smoothly. Dany would have laughed if she had not felt so much anxiety. Dany nearly groaned when she saw Arianne making a beeline for them.

“Dany!” The hussy threw her arms around Dany, “I’m so glad you are all here, some of Robb’s relatives are absolutely dreadful.”

“Those are my relatives too, thank you,” Dany snapped, surprised by her own boldness and the fact that she had claimed the whole Stark family as her own. Arianne’s mouth made a thin line.

“Where is your sweet boyfriend, Jonny? I thought he’d be here already,” She emphasized the word _boyfriend_ in such a way that made Dany’s skin crawl, and want to scratch Arianne’s eyes out, but she tried to maintain her calm for Lyanna’s sake more than anyone else’s.

“He’ll be here after work,” Dany replied simply, and started to walk away, but Arianne’s hands went to stroke her belly, and Dany rolled her eyes.

“My goodness, it was only last week last time I saw you but you seem to be so much bigger already,” Arianne said in a sing-song voice, “You look positively exhausted, I’m sure pregnancy is wearing you out.”

“Actually, the second trimester has given me a renewed sense of stamina,” Dany gave Arianne a smug smile and added, “Jon was mentioning just the other night how much energy I had, and how he was struggling to keep up,” Jon of course had said no such thing, but she hoped Arianne would take her meaning anyway. Arianne almost grimaced, before plastering on another artificial smile. Arianne opened her mouth to say something, but Dany stopped her. “I’m sorry, Arianne,” She stepped around her leading Lyanna by the hand, “But Lyanna and I need to go see if Aunt Cat needs help, there are so many people here, and most of them are just standing around talking.”

Arianne said nothing to that, and Dany felt quite pleased with herself, if not somewhat shamefully passive-aggressive, but she was not going to start a fight with Arianne the day before Marge’s wedding. After tomorrow, she would likely never need to see Arianne again.

As they walked into the kitchen, Lyanna looked up at her.

“I don’t like her,” She said flatly.

“That makes two of us, kid,” Dany chuckled. Lyanna smiled at her, and Dany felt a united sense of camaraderie  in their mutual dislike. Dany figured a wiser parent might take this moment as a learning opportunity about how to act like an adult around people one does not like, but at this moment she did not care.

“Brace yourself, I see Rickon running full speed for us,” Dany teased, just as Rickon barreled through the door.

“Rickon, wait!” Ned’s firm voice caused the boy to skid to a stop, “What did I tell you about handling Dany?” Ned’s voice was serious, but his eyes were twinkling with restrained laughter.

“To be gentle because she’s growing a baby,” Rickon said, and both Dany and Ned could not help but laugh at the characterization.

“Close enough,” Ned ruffled his son’s hair before giving Dany a hug, and kissing the top of Lyanna’s head, in the same way Jon often did. Dany was often taken aback by the similarities in their mannerisms. Rickon hugged her next and as promised he was gentle.

“Is the baby in there?” Rickon asked, putting his finger lightly on her stomach.

“Yes,” Dany smiled, and smoothed back his curls from his face.

“Sometimes you can feel them move,” Lyanna said, in wonder, which caused Rickon’s eyes to grow big. Rickon did not notice Lyanna’s use of the plural, but when Dany caught Ned’s eyes, she surmised that he did, and Dany felt her cheeks turn pink as she nodded. To her surprise Ned’s eyes filled with tears, and he reached out and hugged her again, and placed a kiss a top her head, just as he had to Lyanna.

“Dany, can I feel the baby move?” Rickon asked, curiously. Dany laughed.

“I think they may be sleeping from the car ride,” she chuckled, “But you will be the first to know when I feel another kick.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” Dany assured him. Rickon took Lyanna by the hand as he often did when he had grand adventures planned for them in the back yard.

 

            Dany chuckled to herself as Mace Tyrell was once again waxing lyrical on politics as he, Dany and one of Marge’s cousins, a bright-eyed girl named, Megga, helped Aunt Cat cut vegetables in the kitchen.

“The state of the economy is absolutely atrocious,” Mace told the girls for lack of an audience, “My holdings in the grain markets these days are barely turning a profit anymore, the export taxes are too bloody high!”

Megga and Dany, who barely knew each, exchanged a conspiratorial grin as they let him rant.

“Arthur Dayne would never have allowed it,” Mace said emphatically, just as Arianne floated into the kitchen.

“Oh, are we talking about _the_ Arthur Dayne?” Arianne asked with a smile, “The one who ran for Prime Minister?”

“Who else?” Mace huffed. Arianne turned to Dany and Megga.

“Arthur Dayne is absolutely dreamy,” Arianne said, taking a carrot stick off of Megga’s cutting board.

“Isn’t he old enough be to your father?” Megga giggled. Mace seemed annoyed that Arianne had stolen his thunder.

“A little age never hurt anyone,” Arianne giggled.

“Tell that to the man when he is waking up six times in one night to relieve his bladder,” Mace huffed, and Dany choked back a laugh. Arianne shrugged, apparently not knowing what to say to that. Dany felt a sudden fondness for Mace Tyrell, as Arianne then decided to leave them alone.

            As Dany and Megga took their trays of vegetables out to the buffet, Dany caught sight of a tall gaunt woman standing beside Aunt Cat and Robb, who could only be her sister. Lysa Arryn was not a comely woman, Dany thought it may be unkind to think such a thing, but it was true. Aunt Cat was all softness, with the motherly curves of a woman who had birthed five children, and she had kind, intelligent eyes which also possessed flinty resolve. Lysa, however, was all sharp points and angles, with shifting eyes always look to take offense. As Dany watched the two sisters, Dany noted, that they could not be more different. A strange sense of sympathy, or perhaps pity, came over Dany. Cat, like a flower, was watered often by Ned’s kindness and affections, and she blossomed for him. Dany noted that Lysa's husband barely spared her a glance. As a woman who had once withered with one man, and now blossomed with another, Dany could not help but feel pity for the gaunt, hollow eyed woman.

“Well, Daenerys,” Lysa began haughtily, catching sight of her, and Dany found she did not like her name coming from that thing mouth, “I see you are still around even after your brain injury.”

Dany bristled, but tried to keep her calm, “Yes, I’m afraid so, I’m quite fond of Jon, you see.”

“I suppose then, that he doesn’t have the decency make an honest woman out of you,” Lysa huffed, “Even though you are obviously carrying his child.”

“Jon is the best man I know,” Dany said, confidently. Lysa all but rolled her eyes, and that’s when Dany felt a warm strong hand gently cup the back of her neck. She turned and saw Jon standing there, smiling at her and ignoring Lysa. Dany had not known he had arrived. Lysa walked away not bothering to acknowledge Jon.

“Well,” Dany wrapped her arms around his waist, “She is a ray of sunshine, isn’t she?”

Jon chuckled, “She’s not a happy woman.”

Dany nodded, “I don’t think she and her husband are happy.”

Jon glanced over to where Dany could see Lysa trying to get Jon Arryn’s attention, “No, I don’t think they’ve ever been happy.”

“Why is she so rude to you?”

“Lysa is one of those people who are so miserable, all they can do is try to make everyone else miserable around them,” Jon explained, as they moved toward some seating.

“But she is not like that with everyone,” Dany mused, “She certainly wasn’t with Robb a moment ago.”

“Well, Robb…” Jon chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, “Robb has always been a little bit of the Tully’s golden child.”

Dany smirked at the description.

“Me on the other hand, I was always the bastard child of Ned’s sister, the product of a sordid affair, and forced upon Aunt Cat to raise.”

Dany wrapped her arms around him and placed a kiss atop his precious heart, “Don’t talk about yourself that way.”

“I don’t think of myself that way, love,” Jon assured her with a smile, “Not anymore at least, and I’ve always known Aunt Cat and Ned love me, and did not feel I was forced upon them,” Jon kissed her forehead, “The Tully’s have always been a little bit spiteful and clannish, except for Cat and her uncle Brynden.”

“Families are complicated,” Dany said softly, and laced their fingers together.

“Aye, they are,” Jon agreed.

“Speaking of families, I have not seen our child in over an hour.”

“She’s outside with Rickon in the backyard, I saw her when I came in,” Jon sighed, “Though I did see Robyn go out to join them so we might need to check in on them and make sure no wars have begun.”

Dany agreed and clung to Jon’s side. Before he had arrived, she had been thoroughly overwhelmed by all the people, and unfamiliar faces who should have been familiar, but with Jon beside her now, she felt much more confident. He was a good man, and just when she thought she could not love him more, she was always proven wrong.

“I can feel you staring at me,” Jon chuckled, as he pulled her toward the kitchen.

Dany gripped his hand, “Just admiring the view.”

            Just as they walked into the kitchen to go out into the backyard, Robyn came scurrying inside, red faced and out of breath. Lyanna followed close behind, looking livid, and Rickon who looked close to tears.

“What is going on here?” Jon asked, his voice commanding. The three children froze.

“I’m going to tell my mother!” Robyn screeched.

“He’s a liar!” Lyanna nearly growled.

“What happened?” Jon reiterated.

“Rickon pushed me out of the tire swing!” Robyn whined, and showed Jon and Dany the slightly scraped palms of his hands.

“Rickon did not!” Lyanna hissed. Dany was surprised by her vehemence.

Cat appeared to check on her food, and immediately set upon them, “What is going on?”

“I tripped on the rocks, and fell into Robyn, and then Robyn fell out of the swing, and then Robyn pushed me down, and then Lyanna pushed Robyn, and then Robyn said he was going to tell Aunt Lysa,” Rickon said breathlessly.

“Rickon pushed me out of the swing!” Robyn insisted.

“You’re lying!” Lyanna glared at the other little boy. Jon put a gentle, steadying hand on Lyanna’s shoulder.

“What happened Lyanna?” He asked.

“It happened just the way Rickon said, he did not mean to make Robyn fall out of the swing, it was an accident,” Lyanna explained, helplessly.

Dany groaned inwardly, as she saw Lysa and Jon Arryn enter the kitchen.

“What happened to my sweet baby’s hands?” Lysa demanded, glaring at the other two children.

“It was an accident,” Rickon explained.

“You did it on purpose!” Robyn hissed.

“Catelyn, I want your son punished!” Lysa whirled around on her sister.

“That’s not fair!” Lyanna said, with hands on her hips, fiery eyes glaring up at the older woman, “Rickon did not do anything!”

“And just who is this?” Lysa sneered.

“She’s our daughter,” Dany said, moving Lyanna to stand between her and Jon. Jon put his arm around Lyanna’s shoulder possessively.

“She pushed me too!” Robyn whined.

“I did,” Lyanna confessed boldly, “But only because he pushed Rickon first, and made Rickon fall! Rickon is bleeding, and Robyn only has a few measly scratches! He’s a baby!”

“Where are you bleeding, sweetling?” Catelyn ignored the daggers in Lysa eyes. Rickon held up his elbow to reveal a deep gash that was in fact bleeding profusely, and the little boy had been trying to hide it.

“This is absolutely disgraceful,” Lysa shouted, “Two children twice the size of my sweet baby ganging up on him, and they are being coddled.”

“Oh, Lysa, a few scrapes are good for a kid every now and then,” Jon Arryn rolled his eyes, and left the kitchen, which only made Lysa angrier.

“I want these two lying brats punished!”

“You will not speak to my child that way,” Dany finally snapped. Lyanna wrapped her little arms around Jon’s waist.

“I should have known not to allow my sweet baby to play with some unpredictable foster child!”

Jon suddenly looked unhinged, but Dany put a hand on his arm, trying to control her own anger and not stoop to Lysa's level.

“If you wish to discuss this civilly like adults, then I’d be happy to listen,” Dany snapped, voice icy, “But if not, then I think, we and our daughter have heard quite enough, and furthermore, I’m not sure I feel comfortable allowing my daughter to play with a child, whose parent seems to think lying, name calling and belittling is acceptable behavior.”

Dany took Lyanna’s hand, and Jon took her other, and they left the kitchen to allow Cat and Ned to deal with the Lysa.

            They went upstairs to Jon’s old bedroom. When the three of them sat down on the bed together, Dany was surprised to see Lyanna’s lower lip quivering.

“I should not have pushed him, he is littler than me,” Lyanna began, as Jon stroked her hair, “But I lost my temper, and I was trying to protect Rickon… Rickon is always saying the pack has to protect each other.”

Lyanna looked up at the two of them with vulnerable, watery eyes.

“I am…” She whispered, “I am a part of the pack, aren’t I?”

Jon and Dany pulled her into their arms and held her between them.

“Yes, you are sweetheart.”

 

* * *

 

 

            “Jon!” Dany called out from the toilet early the next morning, after she had finished and tried to stand,  “Jon!” She shrieked again. Jon threw open the door, looking so frazzled, that Dany laughed, even as she gritted her teeth in pain.

“Seven hells, Dany! What is wrong with you?”

“My legs are cramping,” Dany moaned piteously, with her pajama pants still down around her ankles. Jon let out the breath he seemed to be holding and laughed. Dany rolled her eyes.

“It hurts!” Dany snapped, “And your babies are doing somersaults, and everything hurts!”

Jon’s gaze upon her softened then, and he came and knelt in front of her, in front of the toilet.

“I thought you liked your privacy when you were taking a shit?” He teased, though his gentle, strong hands went to knead the cramps in her calf muscles.

“This situation is not a laughing matter, thank you very much,” Dany huffed, even though she was trying not to smile. He looked up at her with a fond gaze, his hands still working on her legs, “Also your babies are wreaking havoc on my digestive system.”

Jon chuckled, “So now they’re only my babies?”

“Only when they misbehave,” Dany winced as he squeezed her legs firmly, the cramp starting to loosen. Jon leaned up and kissed her forehead, not stopping his attention to her legs.

“Anything else?” He asked with a teasing lilt to his thick northern voice.

“My pelvis hurts,” Dany complained.

“The whole thing?” Jon asked with a grin, and when she glared at him, he straightened his face, “What else?”

“My ankles are starting to swell…”

Jon waited patiently.

Dany decided to add a tease of her own, “And just so you are aware…” Dany leaned her forehead against his, “I still want to jump your bones.”

Jon laughed out loud, “Are you done taking your shit?”

Dany wanted to smack that teasing grin off his face, “I've been done for quite some time, if you must know.”

Jon took her by the elbows and helped her up from the toilet and onto her wobbly feet.

“My pajamas are still down about my ankles,” Dany scolded.

“Mhmm,” Jon nuzzled his face into her hair and pulled her close, “Easier that way…”

“Jon Snow, now is not the time to be getting frisky…” Dany started but was silenced by a sweet searing kiss. Dany felt his tongue sweep into her mouth. She moaned and tangled her hands into his hair. When he pulled up for air, Dany was a little bit breathless, but no less resolved.

“Jon, we don’t have time, we have to be at Ned and Cat’s….” Dany started, but was silenced by another kiss. Jon slowly started to back her out of the bathroom toward their bed.

“I can be fast,” He whispered gruffly, and Dany giggled.

“We can’t,” she insisted, even as she tried to pulled their hips flush together, but was only impeded by her baby bump, “Lyanna will be awake any minute… and… and we need to walk Ghost before…” Dany was completely flustered as he captured her lips again, and they sank down onto the bed together. Dany gave him the sternest glare she could muster.

“Well, Jon Snow, now that you’ve got me here, what do you intend on doing with me?” She demanded teasingly, even as she reached over and stroked his bearded cheek. He placed a gentle hand on her stomach and gave her an even more tender kiss.

“I can’t solve all of those complaints,” He whispered, as he gently urged her to lay on her side, “But there is at least one I can placate…” he nibbled at her neck, then seemed to turn shy on her, which she found endearing, “… only if you want…we don’t have to if…if…”

Dany was already warm and wet from his sultry kisses, “Jon, I swear by the old gods and the new, if you don’t take off your pants…” Dany laughed and pressed her bottom back against his groin. He groaned. Dany felt him frantically shuffling out of his pants, and then he was pressing his body up against hers once more. Dany snuggled back against him and released a contented sigh as he wrapped both his arms around her, one rested across her collarbone, and the other protectively cradling her baby bump. The rest of his body curled around hers, until she felt like she was completely wrapped up in him, and then slowly…. slowly, she felt him press inside her. Her sensitivity caused her to gasp, as her aching need for him only intensified.

“Ooooo,” Dany moaned as she kissed that muscly forearm that lay across her collarbone. She felt him kiss her hair, as he groaned and moved deeper. Dany took a deep shuddering breath, as Jon stilled for a moment, soaking in the sweetness of being wrapped up in each other so completely. Not that it wasn’t before, but ever since finding out she was pregnant their lovemaking had turned overwhelmingly tender. Dany rocked her hips with his steady rhythm as she began to pant. Jon laid his head against hers, and she could feel his own heavy breaths, and the tickle of his beard against her cheek.

“You’re so beautiful,” He crooned. His arms around her tightened as he moved just a bit faster.

“I love holding you,” he mouthed sweet, wet kisses to her neck and cheek. Dany felt her toes curl, and another soft moan escaped her.

“I love the little sounds you make when I love you,” Jon nuzzled his nose into her hair again, as his hand softly stroked her belly, the rhythm of his hips still rocking steadily.

“Oh, Jon…” She gasped and felt her pleasure building and coiling inside her… and then suddenly she felt one of the babies’ kick. She froze for a moment hoping Jon did not notice, but he had frozen too.

“One of the babies kicked,” He said, his voice a little stunned. Dany turned her head trying to look at him, and the adorably shocked look on his face evoked a laugh.

“I’m aware,” She told him, and rocked her hips wanting him to finish what he started. His hand was till frozen in place on her belly, “Jon, please…” she rocked back against him again which seemed to shake him out of his stupor.

“Sorry,” He grunted, “I was a little surprised is all…”

“Jon?”

“Hmmm?”

“Shut up,” She felt him nod his head and then he surged forward, and Dany gasped loudly, and clutched at his arm. He tenderly caressed one of her breasts, while the hand that had been on her belly slipped between her legs, as his pace quickened. Dany was shaking and keening, and suddenly the tension snapped, and she released a high-pitched squeal. Jon laid his head against hers and laughingly shushed her. He tried to ground her with his hands, but then he was moaning out his own release. Panting, they were both silent for a few moments. Dany felt like her whole body was trembling, as he petted her between her legs as she came back down.

            Dany chuckled through her panting when she felt the babies moving again, and she took one of his hands and placed it over where she was feeling the kicks. Jon sighed contentedly and seemed to be in awe.

“There are two tiny people in there,” He whispered reverently, and kept feeling around for kicks. Dany nodded, and kissed the forearm that was still across her collarbone.

“They eager to meet their daddy,” she said. She thought she might have heard a sniffle come from him, and so she nestled closer.

“I wish we could stay here all day just like this,” He whispered.

“We have wedding business to attend too.”

“I don’t want to do wedding things,” Jon laughingly grumbled.

“We have too,” Dany said, as much to herself as to him, “Lyanna is going to be wake soon anyway.”

“With the way you screamed, I’m surprised the whole building isn’t awake,” He teasingly nipped at her ear. Dany reached back and smacked his rump.

“Don’t get me started again, love,” he growled. Dany laughed at that.

“Jon Snow, you are incorrigible.

They both startled when a firm knock came to their door. Jon laughed when Dany scrambled away from him, as if they had been caught.

“Are the babies okay?” came Lyanna’s voice from the other side of the door.

“Yes, sweetheart, we will be out in a minute,” Jon called out, managing to mask his shaky voice.

“I thought I heard Dany hurting,” Lyanna’s was full of sweet, innocence concern. Dany felt her cheeks blush, as she gave Jon a playful kick.

“Now you’ve done it,” She whispered.

“Dany and the babies are alright, Lya, you want to feed Ghost for me?” Jon called out.

“Alright,” Lyanna said from the other side of the door, and they heard the little girl scamper down the hall.

Jon turned back to Dany, his own cheeks red, “We need a bigger a house.”

Dany giggled, “I cannot argue you with you there.”

 

* * *

 

            The wedding was held in the old godswood outside the Stark manor. The evening was lit with twinkle lights strung up in the trees, and the crowd was quiet as the bridesmaids made their procession down the walkway. Robb looked resplendent in his suit, though he kept fidgeting with his tie. His face beamed. As Dany came down the aisle, Jon gave her a sweet smile and a wink, and then she took her place on the bride’s side. Once the procession was over, the whole crowd stood and turned to look where Margaery had entered. Marge a beautiful as she floated down the aisle on her father’s arm. Dany smiled as she noted how Marge’s lovely face was absolutely glowing. As she approached, Dany turned to glance at Robb, but it was not Robb that caused Dany’s heart to skip. When she turned to look at Robb, she found Jon staring at her, soft and resolute. Dany felt herself blush, as she realized Jon did not appear to be at this wedding at all.

           When Marge reached the Robb, they smiled at each other and solemn hush fell over the crowd.

“Who comes before the old gods….” Began the ceremony.

 

            The reception was a beautiful affair, Marge and company had done an excellent job even within their limited time. There was a lavish dinner, which Dany was currently regretted as she felt pregnancy heartburn stirring up. Now there was dancing. Hair braided up identically to Dany’s, Lyanna sat beside her, watching the crowd of people.

“Lyanna,” Rickon ran over to them, “Come dance with me!”

Lyanna looked thoroughly disturbed by the prospect, and Dany tried not to laugh.

“Go on, it’ll be fun,” Dany encouraged.

“Why?” was all Lyanna could seem to say, but as it was not a “no,” Rickon took her hand and pulled her away. Dany giggled as she watched Rickon and Lyanna dance. Rickon seemed to be in a particularly generous mood, as she saw him draw sour-faced little Robyn up to dance with them too as the music picked up in pace.

            Taking a peek over to where Jon was getting them drinks, she gave a scornful chuckle as she saw Arianne sidle up to Jon, only for Jon to abandon her to Robb’s old college buddy, Theon, and make his retreat back to her.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jon asked as he handed her some water and sat down beside her.

“Oh, I think they are worth more than that,” Dany teased him. Jon leaned over and kissed her.

“Maybe at least one more of those,” Dany said a little breathlessly, and he kissed her again. Just then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rickon holding onto one of Lyanna’s hands and Robyn holding the other, as the music slowed to a quieter song. The two little boys were glaring at each other, and she thought she might have heard Rickon say, _“but she’s my cousin, not yours.”_

“I think you need to go rescue our daughter,” Dany chuckled, “Or a fight of a different sort is going to break out.”

Jon looked up and laughed, “On it.”

Dany watched as Jon delicately extricated Lyanna from the clutches of the two little boys, and to her surprise, Jon pulled Lyanna out onto the dance floor himself. Dany watched as Jon’s hopeless feet moved, and Lyanna clung to him. Dany thought her heart was going to melt into the floor. Jon’s eyes, full of fatherly love and pride, never left Lyanna’s face, as they gracelessly swayed and twirled and laughed when one stepped on the other’s feet. Dany heard Lyanna’s hesitant little laugh as she beamed up at Jon, fully trusting and blossoming under the fatherly attention that she had never before had. At that moment, if she had not known before, Dany knew now, that she wanted to properly marry Jon Snow.


	68. Stormy (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to post this... real life has been super busy, and these chapters as I am trying to tie up all the loose ends as this story is getting closer to the end are becoming more difficult to write. You may have noticed that I took the chapter count off, and that is because I'm not sure exactly how many chapters this will end up being, it will be somewhere in the realm of 75 to 85 chapters total, but I'm not sure so I took off the count. 
> 
> Also, just want to warn this chapter leaves on a cliff-hanger so if you really hate cliff-hangers you might want to hold off until I post the next one.

Late in the middle of the night, Jon was startled awake by Dany shaking his shoulder. He rubbed his eyes but could not make out her face in the dark.

“What is it, love?” He grumbled sleepily.

“Wake up.”

“I am awake.”

“Your eyes are still closed,” Dany whispered, her voice sounded odd. Jon fluttered his eyes open once again to look at her but her hand suddenly darted down between his legs to grasp him, causing him to gasp.

“Seven hells, Dany!” He groaned and grabbed her wrist to slow her movements. He rolled onto his back, though his eyes were heavy, and gently rubbed her arm, assuming her pregnancy hormones was getting to her again.

“Come on then,” He sleepily teased, “Get up here.”

She said nothing, as she threw her leg over his hip, straddling him, and she had barely gotten him fully hard when she sank firmly down onto him, causing them to gasp, breathlessly. There was a sharp pain in his side that had been there since Robb’s wedding that her rapid motion was starting to aggravate. Her pace was quick and frantic, and Jon’s sleepy mind could not ascertain it, but something seemed off with her.

“Dany, love,” he groaned, trying to slow her pace, “What’s your hurry?”

“I just want you, Jon,” She said in that strangely hoarse, thin voice. He stroked her thighs, before grasping one of her hands in his trying to steady her.

“You have me,” Jon gasped out when she came down hard onto him again. That’s when he noticed her choke back a sob. Jon moved his hands to her hips to still her frantic movements, but she fought him for a moment.

“I want you,” she insisted, but this time he could tell that she was definitely crying. Jon sat up and wrapped his arms around her to hold her still.

“Stop, stop, love, just for a moment,” He held her tight, her bump cradled between them, “If you want me that’s fine,” He whispered against her hair as she nuzzled her face against his neck, “But not when your crying and not telling me.”

Dany released a harsh sob against his neck, and so Jon held her tighter, burying one hand in her hair, while the other stroked her back.

“I had a horrible dream,” She whimpered, and clung to him. Jon did not say anything just waited for her to calm her ragged breathing.

After taking a few more shuddering breathes, she continued, “I dreamt that I woke up and I could not remember you again….”

“Oh, love….” Jon kissed her forehead, wanting to soothe her.

Dany took another breathe, “and…. and because I could not remember, they took Lyanna away… and… and you hated me because of it and somehow, I ended up back with Drogo, and the babies were gone….” Dany poured it all out in rapid succession, as tears came tumbling back down her cheeks, “I just wanted to know it was you, that you were here, and I still remembered you. I’m sorry.”

Placing both his hands on her cheeks, he kissed her lips, “I’m here,” he kissed her again, “And Lyanna is asleep in her room…” another kiss.

“But tomorrow….” Dany whimpered.

“Don’t think about tomorrow, she’s here, and she’s safe, and she’s ours,” Jon whispered, “And I’m here,” he assured her, then took her hand and placed it on her belly, “And the babies are here, none of us are going anywhere.”

Dany softly kissed him back and stroked his beard, still whimpering quietly, “I don’t think I’ve ever told you before, but the day I woke up in the hospital the whole world seemed empty, and then I saw you and I felt like I should have known you, but didn’t. It was like the whole world had gone blank… that’s how it felt in the dream…”

“I’m here, love,” Jon continued to assure her. Dany nodded. Jon backed up against the headboard and held her in his arms until she fell back asleep. He, however, stayed awake for quite some time.

 

            Putting a hand to his aching side he tried to ignore it as he put down his newspaper, not wanting to read any more about corrupt politics in King’s Landing.

“Arthur Dayne is stepping down from his seat in parliament,” Jon said casually to Dany who was sitting on the couch braiding Lyanna’s hair to match her own. Jon smiled at the sight.

“Oh?” Dany chuckled, “Mace Tyrell will be devastated to hear that his hero not only did not get elected to Prime Minister but is also leaving government. Can’t say I blame Mr. Dayne, though, why is he leaving?”

“Some scandal thirty years ago, I did not read the full story,” Jon had really only read the headline, his mind was not on the news this morning.

“Well, that’s disappointing, everyone always seemed to think he was one of the better of them down there in that cesspool they call Parliament.”

Their chit chat was menial, Jon knew, none of them wanted to acknowledge the real reason all three of them were home together on a weekday morning. They kept Lyanna home from school today, and Jon and Dany took the day off so that they could be with her before and after the meeting with her father without any distractions.

            Jon had been watching Lyanna for any signs of distress, but her face, as usual, gave very little away. He was concerned that this meeting was going to be detrimental to the beautiful bubble that had formed around them in the last couple of weeks.

“I’m going to walk Ghost; do you ladies want to come along?” Jon smiled at them curled up on the couch together, “Or do you want me to bring breakfast back for you?”

Dany pulled Lyanna close to her, and though Lyanna seem to grumble, Jon could tell by the twinkle in her eyes that she was soaking up the motherly attention, like a flower in sunlight.

“It’s too cold out there,” Dany complained, and Lyanna rolled her eyes and chuckled.

“The pair of you,” Jon said in mock exasperation, “absolute princesses.” As the two girls on the sofa laughed, Jon took their breakfast orders and headed out the door with Ghost in tow.

            He needed a good walk to clear his head and calm his heart. Lyanna needed him to be strong for her. Jon wanted Lyanna to be secure enough with them to be vulnerable, he wanted her to know that she was safe with them. That was why he decided to take the whole day, and keep Lyanna home from school, even though her meeting was in the afternoon. Whatever happened after today, he wanted Lyanna to know that she was loved and wanted.

Dany, too, needed the space and the time. Dany put on a brave face, but he knew that the possibility of losing Lyanna was haunting her. Her dream the night before only confirmed that. It haunted him too. Jon could not bear the thought of Dany having to be forced to lose anything else this year. He thought back to those first few days after he brought her home from the hospital after her accident. She had been terrified, and so desperate to keep herself safe, that she had done everything in her power to push him away. Not for the first time, Jon was struck with the similarities between Dany and Lyanna. He wanted them both to feel safe and secure. Perhaps that’s what being a good father and husband was? _Being a shield?_ Jon raked his hand through his hair. Maybe he would never know what it truly meant to be a good father and husband. _Husband_. Somehow that word had weaseled its way into his inner monologue, and he wondered, perhaps selfishly, if Dany thought of him that way. Even though they had not said the words, he certainly thought of her as his wife. He did not want to pressure her, especially now when they were expecting twins and terrified over the possibility of losing Lya, but he wanted to marry her. He had always wanted to marry her. Sighing, Jon paid for breakfast and headed home. He knew she was committed to them being a family, but did that mean that she wanted to marry him?

When Jon got back to the apartment the pain in his side had gotten worse, and he definitely did not want to eat.

“Are you alright?” Dany asked, as he handed them their food. Dany got up and felt his forehead, “I think you are running fever.”

“I’ll be fine, love,” Jon assured her, “I’ll just lay down for a bit, and rest.”

Dany did not look convinced. Lyanna patted the seat next to her on the sofa and sweetly and wordlessly offered him part of her blanket. Jon drifted into a nap, on the sofa with Lyanna snuggled between him and Dany.

 

That afternoon after Jon had taken some painkillers, the three of them headed to Lyanna’s meeting. They were as solemn as a funeral procession. Jon stopped the car at the park, and saw that Brienne was already there waiting for them. Beside her was a surprisingly older man, in a suit, with thinning reddish grey hair. Jon wondered if he might remind Lyanna of the General and felt utterly selfish for hoping that the meeting went poorly. He glanced over at Dany in the passenger seat, her face, much like Lyanna’s, was impassable. Jon and Dany, by law, were not allowed to stay for the meeting, but Brienne said it was alright for them to meet him. Each taking one of Lyanna’s hands, they walked over. Jon noticed how Lyanna seemed to slowly drift behind him, and cling even more tightly to his hand. By the time they approached the other two adults Lyanna was basically hidden behind him. The older man had kind eyes, even though they seemed distant, and he wore no ring, and no mention had been made of a wife, and so Jon assumed he was a bachelor.

“I’m Jorah,” The man gave Jon’s hand a firm shake, and then Dany’s as they introduced themselves. Dany was glaring at Jorah fiercely enough to make a dragon cower. Jon took a breath.

“Lya?” Jon turned around and knelt in front of the little girl who had been hiding behind him. _Like a shield_ , Jon thought somewhat bitterly as he realized he could not protect her from this. He offered her a smile but she did not return it. Dany was no help as she still stood sizing Jorah up.

“Lya,” Jon tried again, “We are going to leave you here with Brienne, so that you and Jorah can get acquainted, it will only be for one hour, and then we will meet you back right here and take you home,” Jon smoothed a strand of hair out of her face that had fallen from her braids, “Dany and I are going to go grocery shopping so the three of us can cook something all together when we get home tonight.”

Lyanna nodded tersely, and Jon could see her once again retreating into herself as she had done at the group home and it broke his heart. Feeling the painful stitch in his side again, Jon kissed her forehead and stood and urged her forward. Dany did not look like she was going to release Lyanna’s hand.

“Come along, Lyanna, I’m going to be with you for the entire hour,” Brienne prompted, “You don’t have to be shy.”

 _She’s not shy_ , Jon bristled internally, _she’s scared to death_.

            Jon took Dany’s hand in his, while Brienne urged Lyanna forward. Dany would not look at him but kept her eyes trained on Lyanna’s retreating form.

“Dany?”

She said nothing in response.

“Come on,” Jon prompted. They were about to turn and walk away when Lyanna suddenly wrenched her hand free of Brienne’s and ran back to them. If Jon thought his heart could not have broken anymore that day, he was wrong, for the next words out of Lyanna’s mouth shattered him.

“Please,” She whimpered, “Please don’t leave me alone here!” She wrapped her arms around his waist. Jon held her for a moment, and his eyes met Brienne’s, her mouth in a thin line. Jorah looked dreadfully uncomfortable and Dany now was crying. Jon tried to be strong for them all as he held Lyanna, her little face buried against his side.

“Lya, sweetheart,” Jon tried to pull out his social worker’s objectivity, but it abandoned him just as Davos said it would, “Lya, we will be back in one hour, I promise, Brienne has our phone numbers if you need us, and tonight we are all going to go home together and see Ghost.”

Lyanna turned pleading eyes to Dany.

“Please Dany, please don’t leave me,” Lyanna’s lower lip quivered, and Jon knew Lya chose today to cry for the first time, he would never be able to leave her. Dany knelt to the ground and wrapped their little girl in her arms. Jorah, to his credit, was patient.

“Dany,” Jon said softly, as he stroked Lya’s hair. Dany nodded.

“It will be alright, sweetheart,” Dany tried to assure her, “We will be back to get you in one hour. I promise.”

“One hour,” Jon assured her, placing another kiss on the top of her head, “It’s not a very long time, I promise.”

Brienne took Lyanna’s hand and urged them to go. Jon helped Dany stand, and they turned to leave, and when Jon looked back, he saw Lyanna staring hard at the ground, and Brienne and Jorah looking absolutely lost.

 

Dany said absolutely nothing to him the entire ride to the grocery store, which Jon found ominous. He got out of the car and came around to Dany’s side and opened her door.

“How could we just leave her there?” Dany hissed.

“We had too,” Jon said firmly.

“How can you be so cold?” She accused. Jon recoiled as if she had slapped him.

“Do you really think that I don’t care about her as much as you do?” He snapped.

“She belongs with us.”

“Do you really want to deny her the chance to at least meet her biological father?” Jon asked, trying to be reasonable, “Do you really want her to live the rest of her life with that question hanging over her head? Always wondering who he is, wondering if he even knew about her, wondering why he did not want her,” Jon's voice had gotten louder, and he winced feeling the pain in his side again but trying to keep it together.

“Are you talking about Lyanna or are you talking about yourself?” She nearly growled.

Jon tried not to take the venom in her voice personally, but it was hard, “Her situation and mine are not all that dissimilar.”

“Don’t act like you are the only one who grew up never knowing your biological father!” Dany shouted.

“Well, at least you knew your father’s name!” Jon shouted right back, feeling his own anger and hurt choking him.

“And do you consider Ned your father, or some man your never met?”

Jon was silent and angry. He knew they were both lashing out at the utter unfairness of their situation, but they were taking it out on each other, and Jon both hated it and could not seem to stop it.

“Dany, Ned is my dad in every way that counts,” Jon tried to calm himself, “But when I was ten years old, I often went to bed at night wondering who my father was, wondering if I had just been better, or have done a little more, then maybe he would have wanted me!”

Dany crossed her arms over her chest not seeming to have an answer to that. Jon could tell she was still upset, and so was he.

“I’m tired of lies and secrets, they tear families apart,” Jon raked his hand through his hair as he realized they were drawing the attention of other customers in the parking lot, “It’s better that she has a chance to know the truth.”

Dany’s face was hard.

“I know we love her,” Jon’s voice choked, “And it doesn’t feel fair, but he is her father, and we do not have the legal rights to stop him from taking her from us.”

Tears were in Dany’s eyes again.

“Brienne is not going to give her to a man who is cruel, or who can’t take care of her,” Jon tried to touch her but she pulled away, “They have not made any decisions, and if she is allowed to stay with us, then we are going to adopt her so no one can take her from us again.”

Dany glared at him, “How can you be so rational about all this?”

“I have to be,” Jon said, “Would you rather I scream and shout and carry on?”

“At least, I would know you care as much as I do.”

 _That stung,_ even without all of her memories intact, she could still level him in all the most painful places.

“Dany, this is how I cope,” He said, exasperated, “I’m sorry if you can’t understand that.”

“I just want you to be as angry about it as I am!” She cried.

Jon raked his hand through his hair again, “I am, Daenerys! I want her to be with us but screaming and shouting at each other is not going to solve anything!”

Dany only nodded and sniffled, and looked away from him. He knew she just needed to cool off, they both had tempers, and when they were up, they were prone to saying rash things. They did not say a word to each other in the grocery store, and Jon almost found that worse than the shouting.

 

 

            Jon was glad that when they arrived back at their meeting place at park, they were the first ones there. He wanted Lyanna to know they were not going to abandon her to some strange man, whether or not he happened to be her father. Jon and Dany waited in silence, but to his immense relief she did take his hand. When Brienne arrived with Lyanna, the little girl bolted for them as if she were a prisoner being set free. She wedged herself between them, putting one arm around Dany, and taking Jon’s hand. Jon stroked her hair. Jorah, Jon noted, looked dreadfully uncomfortable.

“Well, um… I must return to work,” Jorah said, giving Lyanna a kind smile.

Lyanna nodded tersely and moved to stand a little closer to Jon. Jorah took something out of his wallet, and Jon saw that it was a photograph.

“When I heard…. When I heard about you, I hunted this down…” Jorah handed it to Lyanna, “I thought, um, I thought you might like to have it.” It was a photograph of Jorah with a young woman, Jon could only assume was Lyanna’s mother.

“Thank you,” Lyanna said softly, though she was still staring at the photo and not at Jorah. The older man nodded, shook Jon and Dany’s hands once more and departed. Jon and Dany silently took their little girl home.

 

 

            By the time they made it back home, Dany was exhausted and so went to take a nap before they were to start cooking dinner. Jon felt guilty knowing that her weariness was likely due to their fight. She was carrying his babies, and he shouted at her. A more bitter part of him, however, said that she had started it, but he knew deep down that they were both in the wrong, as they had lashed out at each other due to what felt like an impossible situation. They should have been finding comfort in each other, Jon thought, and sighed as he put away the groceries. When he was finished, he went in search of Lyanna’s company.

            Jon found her sitting on the balcony of their apartment, hugging the bars, and her legs swinging off the edge. Ghost sat like a sentry behind her, likely sensing her distress. The picture of her mother and Jorah sat on the ground beside her.

“Here you are,” Jon tried to sound pleasant as he sat down beside her, trying not to wince at the pain that was worsening in his side. He picked up the picture and looked at it, “This your mom?’

Lyanna gave him a withering look.

“Aye, I know it is,” Jon gave the photo back to her.

“He said he did not know about me, he said mom never told him.”

Jon sighed, “That happens sometimes.”

“He said he lives half the year in King’s Landing, and half the year in Essos.”

 _So far away_ , Jon thought bitterly and tried not to grimace at the growing pain in his side, that was now beginning to concern him.

“I don’t want him to be my dad,” Lyanna confessed softly. Jon put an arm around her shoulder.

“Don’t fret yourself just yet, no decisions have been made.”

Lyanna looked at him, “I want you to be my dad.”

Jon felt like he had been punched in the gut. He tightened his arm around her and tried to keep his tone light and casual, “He doesn’t have a Ghost, does he?”

“I don’t want you to be my dad because of Ghost.”

Jon gave her a half smile.

“I want you to be my dad because….” She stammered and looked shy, “I want you to be my dad because… I… I… I love you.”

Jon’s heart shattered into a million pieces, as his little girl wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him as if she were afraid someone would steal her away. Jon took a steadying breath, trying to hold back his emotions.

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

“Jon?” Lyanna whispered.

“Yes?” Jon tried to hide the pain in his voice, suddenly aware that something was very wrong inside him.

“I… I love Dany too,” She admitted, “I’m… I’m just… I’m afraid…”

Stroking her hair, Jon smiled encouragingly at her, “What are you afraid of?”

“I’m afraid if I love Dany too much…” her voice trailed off for a moment, “If I love Dany too much, I’m afraid I will forget my real mother.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Jon held her closer, trying to ignore his protesting abdomen, “I think you have enough room in your heart to love both Dany and your mother, don’t you?”

Silently, Lyanna nodded, “I sometimes can’t remember what mom really looked like.”

Jon felt tears in his eyes then, thinking of his own mother, “I have the same problem too sometimes, when I think of my mother, that’s why it’s so important to keep photographs around,” Jon put the photo in her little hand, “We don’t want you to forget your mother, Lya, we want you to remember her.”

Lyanna nodded and hugged him.

“Agh,” Jon groaned, the pain in his side was growing.

“What’s wrong?” Lyanna’s eyes grew big and frightened.

“I’m alright,” Jon grunted, as he tried to stand and was alarmed to find that he could not stand fully upright. Lyanna stood up and took his hand, and they hobbled back inside. Jon tried to keep calm for her sake, “Lya, I’m going to sit down on the chair here, could you run gently wake up Dany?”

Lyanna nodded frantically and ran down the hall. Dany appeared a moment later, looking frightened herself.

“What’s wrong?” She knelt in front of him and smoothed back some of his curls.

“I’m not sure,” Jon groaned, “but I think I need to go to the hospital…right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this chapter was perhaps a little darker than my chapters usually are, but please hang in there, I promise this level of angst will be mostly resolved in the next chapter. 
> 
> I also know that we don't like Jon and Dany fighting, so please be patient with them, even healthy couples fight and they are dealing with intense stuff in this chapter. 
> 
> As always thanks so much for reading!


	69. Stormy pt2 (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to give a special shout out to the lovely reader who suggested something like this happen to Jon, I wanted to call you by name but I could not find it in the comments as this story has gotten quite large, but you know who you are! I loved the suggestion, but when you made it I was not sure how to incorporate it, but it ended up working so well with the themes that I've been developing for Jon, and that will be more fully explored next chapter. I hope you, and everyone, enjoy it! 
> 
> So originally this chapter and the next chapter were one chapter, but where I ended this one seemed appropriate, so the next chapter will be more on Jon's recovery.

Thunder clashed outside, and Lyanna shivered as they sat in the waiting room at the hospital. They both had gotten a little damp coming inside as rain had started to fall. Ever so slowly, Lyanna moved closer to Dany, and so Dany wrapped her arms around her. When they had arrived at the Emergency Room, they had taken Jon straight back into emergency surgery for appendicitis. What worried Dany now, is what should have been a simple surgery was taking a very long time. Dany berated herself for not noticing his pain sooner. In the car ride over, he had told her that he had been in pain for a couple of days. Stubborn man that he was, he had not told her… and she had not noticed. _How could she not notice?_ They lived together, slept in the same bed together, and loved each other. _How could she not notice?_

            Dany looked down at her phone. Aunt Cat and Uncle Ned were on their way. When she had told them that Jon was still in surgery that seemed to concern them, even though the doctor had said it was just appendicitis. Dany expected they would update her soon, but she was getting anxious waiting.

“Jon isn’t going to die, is he?” Lyanna suddenly asked, her face pale and frightened. Dany hugged her tighter.

“No, no sweetheart,” She soothed, “Why would you think that?”

“It’s just….” Lyanna’s voice quavered and trailed off, “When the General… he had a pain in his side, and… and …. I called the hospital and… in the ambulance they said he was already dead.”

Dany kissed the top of her head, willing herself not to cry, willing herself to be strong for Lyanna, “Your grandfather passed from a heart attack, Lya,” Dany explained, “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Lyanna nodded.

“Jon has appendicitis, doctors take care of patients with appendicitis all the time,” Dany assured her, “Jon will be just fine.”

Lyanna nodded again and wrapped her arms around Dany.

“There they are, Sam!” The sound of Gilly’s voice, surprised Dany. She had called Sam to ask him to check on Ghost, but she had not imagined he would come up to the hospital. When they approached, Gilly had Little Sam on her hip and Sam followed close behind with a large bag. Dany stood and hugged Gilly.

“Thank you for looking after Ghost,” She said, “You did not have to come all this way.”

“We wanted too,” Gilly said sweetly, “We figured you and Lyanna would not have had supper yet, so we brought you some food.”

Dany hugged Gilly again. She did not know what she had done to deserve such friends, but she and Jon were surely the luckiest people in Westeros.

Gilly passed them each a portable container containing soup and a sandwich, and they all sat together in the hospital waiting area and ate dinner, in relative silence. Silence that is until Dany heard a veritable stampede of footsteps coming down the hospital corridor. She looked up and caught sight of Ned, Cat, and Rickon… and Sansa, and Pod, and Arya and Gendry, and even Benjen and Bran who were still in town from the wedding. _Gods, how she loved them all_.

“Lya!” Rickon hollered and ran to Lyanna, going to stand by her side like a guard.

“If appendicitis is practically nothing!” Arya said, “I want to know what is bloody taking them so long!”

“Hospital time,” Pod said.

“Well, I have half a mind to march into that operating room and demand answers!” Arya said in a huff and sat down beside Dany and hugged her.

“Sorry, Dany, we did not mean to invade,” Ned shrugged with a grin so reminiscent of Jon’s, “But I’m afraid they were all at the house and would not be held back.”

Dany beamed, “I’m happy they came.”

“Of course, we would come,” Sansa said, as she bent down to coo at Little Sam. Aunt Cat came over to her and stroked her cheek.

“Let us take Lyanna home with us, that way we can get her off to school in the morning, and you won’t have to worry.”

Lyanna looked up at that, “Can I see Jon first?”

Ned smiled at the little girl, “Of course, sweetheart, we are all going to wait right here until we all know that Jon is alright.”

Lyanna gave him a small smile and nodded. Dany’s phone buzzed and she smiled and shook her head when she saw it was Robb, who was on his honeymoon, asking about Jon. She assured him she would keep him updated. Dany was comforted by the love and affection that surrounded them as they waited for news. She had never known such a family as the Starks. Before Jon she had not known that home could be a person, and she realized that it was something he learned from the Starks. They were all each other’s home, no matter where they were.

            The chatter and the laughter continued as everyone tried to keep Dany and Lyanna’s minds occupied.

“Have the three of you thought of any names for the baby yet?” Gilly asked. Dany and Lyanna exchanged a look.

“No not yet.”

“Do you know if baby is a boy or a girl?” Arya asked. Once again Dany and Lyanna exchanged a look.

“I never got to feel the baby kick, Dany!” Rickon complained. Dany laughed.

“Well, come sit beside me then, Rick, and the next time baby kicks, I will let you feel,” Dany assured the little boy and he did as instructed.

“Mom, did I kick you when I was in your tummy?” Rickon asked.

“Yes, quite often, Rickon,” Cat chuckled, “You were an active little kid even then.”

“Does it feel like an alien is inside you?” Rickon asked with wonder. Dany laughed loudly at that and ruffled his hair.

“Once the babies moved when Jon and I talked to them,” Lyanna told Rickon, once again letting the plural slip, and Dany was surprised that no one noticed. She did not mind if everyone knew they were having twins, but she and Jon had not yet talked about revealing that secret yet. Rickon put his face close to Dany’s belly.

“Can you hear me in there?” He whispered, and Dany laughed even more.

"They are not going to talk back,” Lyanna said quite seriously, and Dany tried not to keep a straight face.

            The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted the sweet moment. Dany looked up and saw the doctor standing there. She stood to her feet.

“We seem to have multiplied,” The doctor chuckled as he glanced around at the anxious faces, then said, “Jon is doing well, we have got him in recovery now.”

“What took so long?” Dany snapped, more sharply than she meant too.

“Jon’s appendix ruptured…”

Dany must have gasped audibly because the doctor was quick to reassure her.

“We think it ruptured between admitting him into the ER and getting him on the operating table, because the first exam did not indicate a rupture.”

“Is he…?”

“He is stable and recovering fine right now, though he will be staying at the hospital a little longer than a regular appendectomy,” the doctor explained, “We need to watch for certain infections like peritonitis before we can let him go, but so far we have not seen any signs, everything looks good. Catching the rupture as quickly as we did does bode well for recovery.”

“Can we see him?” Dany asked.

“Right now, he is still groggy, and I think I’d like to keep it to two people, but once he is a little more awake, we can get everyone in to say hello,” The doctor smiled, “Who would like to come back with me?”

Dany took Lyanna’s hand, and the doctor led them through the big double doors toward Jon’s room.

 

            The room was very quiet when they entered, and there was one nurse checking the machines that Jon was hooked up too. Dany thought he must still be asleep because his eyes were closed, and his breathing deep. When they came a little closer, however, his eyes fluttered open and he gave them a half smile. He looked so pale and fragile that it made Dany’s breath catch in her chest. Then he frowned, and shakily held his hand out to Lyanna. Dany looked down and to her shock, Lyanna was freely weeping, as if some great flood gate had been released. _Perhaps it had_ , Dany thought. Jon held his hand up to the little girl once again and offered her another weak smile. Lyanna slowly went to him.

“Gentle now, your dad has just had a pretty rough time in surgery and is going to be hurting for a week or two,” the nurse said with a kind smile as Lyanna went to hug him. Lyanna nodded, and instead of throwing her arms around him, she bent down and kissed his cheek. The raw sweetness of it broke Dany’s heart. She came and stood behind Lyanna and put a hand on her shoulders. Lyanna was still crying. Jon reached up and brushed a finger down her cheek.

“I’m here,” he whispered, weakly. Lyanna nodded, and only cried more. Jon’s eyes met Dany’s and she saw so much love in them, then he said to her to, “I’m right here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Jon's recovery


	70. Recovery (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was having some serious writers block with this chapter, and I am not as please with it as some of my past chapters, but I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Thanks so much for all of your comments!

Dany insisted on staying the night at the hospital even though both Jon and Sam said that she should go home, and that she did not need to sleep in a hospital chair in her condition. Sam had offered to stay the night with Jon, but Dany would not hear of it, at least not for the first night. Lyanna had gone home with Cat and Ned tonight, and so Dany was free to stay. Jon had fallen back asleep after saying hello to everyone who had come to see him, and Dany took up her post beside his bed. The nurse brought her a pillow and a blanket. As she watched him sleep, she felt an overwhelming sense of both guilt and irritation. When they fought earlier, she had called him ‘ _cold_ ’ and accused him of not caring, and the entire time he had been shoving aside his pain in order to take care of her and Lyanna.

“You are thinking so loudly, I think I can hear you,” Jon suddenly whispered, reaching for her hand. Dany took it and smiled at him as he opened his eyes.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“I’ve been drifting in and out it seems,” He grimaced.

“Are you in pain?”

“No, just uncomfortable,” He gave her a weak, but still surprisingly cheeky grin, “I’d be much more comfortable if you were up here in this bed with me.”

Dany giggled, “Well, considering what an aggressive cuddler you are, I would not want to invoke the wrath of your nurse if you rumpled the dressings on your incision, trying to love up on me.”

“There are worse ways to go,” He said.

“That isn’t funny.”

“No, sorry, it’s not.”

“If your eyes did not look so terribly sleepy, I’d let you know how terribly cross I am at you for not telling me all day that you were in pain,” Dany squeezed his hand. His mouth twitched.

“It did not seem like such a big thing at the time,” Jon said, and he chuckled hoarsely as Dany shook her head at him, “I love you,” he grinned, weakly.

“You are high on pain meds and anesthesia.”

He tried to laugh but grimaced in pain, “Maybe.”

“Go back to sleep, my darling,” Dany reached over and stroked some of his beautiful dark curls away from his face. His weary eyes met hers.

“I think if baby number two is a girl, we should name her Rhaella,” Jon suddenly said.

Dany squeezed his hand a little tighter, and chuckled, trying to restrain the emotions she felt, “We don’t need to be worrying about that right now. You need to sleep.”

“Aye,” with that his eyes drifted close once more.

 

            Sleeping in a hospital chair was not comfortable under normal circumstances, but with her baby bump impeding every sleeping position and being woken every few hours by nurses coming in and out of the room, sleep had almost been an impossibility. She had drifted off somewhere in the wee morning hours, and woke to the feeling of strong, gentle fingers massaging her scalp. Dany’s eyes fluttered open, and she found herself leaning over Jon’s bed from her chair, with her head resting against his chest, and his hand in her hair. She was not entirely sure how she ended up in that position but when she sat up, Jon was grinning at her, and looking much more alert than he had the previous night.

“Love, you need to go home and sleep in a bed tonight,” he said, firmly.

“I don’t want to leave you,” She said, groggily. He touched her cheek.

“I know,” Jon smiled, “But the babies need a bed, and Lyanna needs to be at home.”

Dany rubbed her eyes, and looked at the clock, she had only been asleep for a couple of hours.

“I will be fine here,” Jon assured her.

“But…” She started to protest.

“Dany, I’m awake, I’m not dying, and so far there have been no signs of complications,” Jon said, “They just have to watch me for a couple of days and make sure there are no infections, and then I can go home. You need to go home.”

“I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Ask Sam, or Arya if they can stay the night with me tonight, they won’t mind.”

It took some more convincing, but Dany knew Lyanna needed to be in her own bed as much as she did and so it was decided that Sam would come and stay with Jon for the night. She did stay for the whole morning until it was time to go and pick Lyanna up from school. Dany kissed Jon, and softly stroked his cheek.

“Lyanna and I will come up and eat dinner with you and stay for a while,” she assured him, and he nodded.

            When she pulled up to Lyanna’s school, Dany had a phone call from Brienne. She did not want to answer it, fearing what it might mean, but knew she had too.

“Dany, I’m sorry to call right now, Davos told me Jon was in the hospital,” Brienne began, “But Jorah and I had a long conversation yesterday.”

“Oh?” Dany caught sight of Lyanna bounding toward their car from the school doors.

“Yes, I am not at liberty to say anything further, but before any decisions are made, Jorah has requested to speak with you and Jon before he leaves town.”

“Jon will be recovering for quite some time,” Dany said.

“Yes, I know, but perhaps,” Brienne began, “Once you have Jon at home, I can bring Jorah to your home, and the three of you can have a chat while I visit with Lyanna, would this be amenable?”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Dany said, unsure why Jorah would wish to talk to them before he decided whether or not to steal his child away from them. Brienne and Dany hashed out the details, while Lyanna got into the car.

When she hung up the phone, Lyanna was looking at her curiously.

“Who was that?”

“Brienne.”

“Are they taking me away?” Lyanna asked, the fear in her voice almost palpable. Dany gave her an encouraging smile and squeezed her hand before pulling out of the school parking lot.

“They have not made any decisions yet, sweetheart,” Dany said, “But apparently, Jorah wants to talk to me and Jon.”

“I told him that you and Jon were good foster parents,” Lyanna said softly, almost inaudibly.

“Thank you.”

“Are we going to see Jon now?”

“Yes, but first we need to stop by the apartment and check on Ghost, so he doesn’t think we have forgotten him.”

 

 

            Lyanna was relatively quiet on their way to the hospital but her whole face lit up when they entered Jon’s room. Jon was sitting up in the bed, reading the newspaper, his face looked somewhat disgruntled, and Dany noticed that he was reading the newspaper he had not finished from the previous day. He smiled, though, as they came into the room, and threw the newspaper in the trash, quite aggressively, Dany noted.

“How are my girls?” Jon asked, smiling at Lyanna as she came to give him a gentle hug.

“I’m fine,” Lyanna said simply, and sat down at the foot of his bed. Dany took up her seat on the hospital chair. Just as they got settled, and Jon was asking Lyanna about school, the nurse came in to change the dressing on Jon’s incision. Dany was about to prompt the little girl out of the room, but she was watching the nurse work with fascination.

“What do all these machines do?” Lyanna asked the nurse. The nurse patiently indulged her curiosity and explained what the monitor was checking for, and the different I.V. drips going into Jon’s arm, while she laid out the new dressings for the incision.

“How did the doctor take out his broken appendix?” Lyanna questioned. The nurse, seemed to find her curiosity endearing, and so with a quick glance at Dany, she briefly explained the procedure.

“Does he have stitches?”

“Yes,” the nurse said, and gently pulled down the side of Jon’s hospital gown, removed the old dressing and showed the curious girl the incision in his abdomen. Dany thought it looked rather gruesome, but Lyanna was fascinated. Jon looked amused by their respective reactions.

“Will he have a really big scar?” Lyanna asked the nurse. The nurse smiled at her.

“It should not be too big, as long as he takes care of it once he goes home from the hospital,” The nurse explained.

“Don’t worry, my mom and I will make sure he does,” Lyanna told the nurse. Time seemed to stand still for a moment, as Dany looked at Jon and back at Lyanna. Lyanna looked completely unphased, as if she had been calling Dany her mother for years and nothing out of the ordinary had occurred and continued to watch the nurse change the dressing. Dany slipped her hand into Jon’s, and he gave her’s a little reassuring squeeze.

            After eating dinner and spending some time together, Dany and Lyanna headed back to their apartment. Lyanna was sleepy, but the two of them sat up for a while longer sharing cookies and milk while they each finished their homework. When Dany tucked her into bed, Lyanna gave her a small smile. Dany kissed her forehead.

“Goodnight,” Dany said.

“Dany?”

“Yes?”

“I told the nurse…. and…and … the doctor tonight that you and Jon were my mom and dad,” she confessed in whisper. Dany smiled at her, but Lyanna looked shy, “was… was that alright?”

Dany kissed her forehead again, “Yes, sweetheart, that is more than alright.”

 

 

            Jon was finally allowed to come home that weekend, with explicit instructions to rest and recuperate. Dany knew how much he hated to be fussed over and so she knew she and Lyanna had their tasks cut out for them. Jon was still walking a bit hunched over, which seemed to disturb Lyanna more than the incision in his side.

“Sit down in the recliner,” Lyanna instructed Jon as they entered the apartment, and Dany had to bite back a laugh at her commanding tone. Dany did wonder, however, how much Lyanna had taken care of her grandfather in the final months of his life, and that made her sad. Jon obeyed and sat down, and Ghost came over to him and plopped his big head into Jon’s lap.

“Hello, boy, I’ve missed you,” Jon scratched behind the dog’s ears. Ghost seeming to sense that Jon was weak, gently licked his hand, and remained with his head in his lap.

“Does Jon need a cane?” Lyanna asked Dany, as if Jon could not hear them. Dany did laugh then.

“Maybe, would you like a cane, Jon?” Dany asked him with a sassy smile.

“I think I’ll manage,” Jon assured them kindly, but gave Dany an impertinent look, which just caused her to laugh more.

            After supper that night Lyanna and Dany cleaned the kitchen while Jon dozed in the recliner, still a little groggy from the pain medication and in more pain than he would admit. Dany scrubbed dishes and handed them to Lyanna to put into the dishwasher.

“He did not eat very much,” Lyanna said, her little brow knit together in concern.

“I think he’s still hurting a bit more than he would like to tell us,” Dany explained, “And sometimes that makes people sleepy and not as hungry.”

Lyanna nodded.

“Are you still worried?” Dany asked, employing a tone she had often heard Jon use with Lyanna that she seemed to respond well too.

“Yes,” Lyanna admitted, “I want him to feel better.”

“So do I, sweetheart,” Dany gave her the last dish and washed and dried her hands, “But he will be back to his normal self in a week or two.”

Lyanna nodded again.

“Would you like to help me put our patient to bed?” Dany chuckled, and offered Lyanna her hand. Lyanna nodded, and the two of them went and gently shook Jon awake.

“It’s time for bed,” Dany informed him.

“Is it now?” He chuckled and winced as he made to stand up. Lyanna rushed to his side, worry written all over her face, “I’m alright, Lya,” he assured her, and allowed her to take his hand.

            They got Jon tucked into bed, and then Dany tucked Lyanna in and made sure the apartment door was locked and the lights were out before she retired herself. When she came back into the room, Jon was still awake. He watched her with loving eyes as she changed into her pajamas.

“How are you feeling?” She asked as she got into bed beside him.

“Sore, weak,” He said as he lay a gently hand on her belly, feeling for kicks. Dany blushed slightly.

“I’m already getting so much bigger,” She said. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head, though he winced as he sat back up.

“You’re perfect.”

Dany covered his hand with her own and moved it to where she could feel the babies moving. He smiled. “They like to hear their daddy’s voice,” Dany whispered, and the two of them drifted off to sleep with Jon’s hand resting protectively against her bump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Jon continues to recover and Jorah makes a decision


	71. Jorah (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realize in retrospect that this chapter and the last two Dany chapters should have all probably been one chapter, which is why they probably seem a little fragmented, but I am realizing that pacing is something I really need to work on for my next stories. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one, I liked it a little better then the last chapter, but still not confident how it turned out. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading and commenting, and sticking with me as I try to wrap this story up in a satisfying way.

Dany woke with a start realizing she was alone in the bed and it was still quite early. She sprung up…as much as she could spring up.

“Jon?” She called out. He was in the bathroom. Opening the door, she found him shirtless, hair tousled, and attempting to cover the incision site on his side with plastic and medical tape.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to take a shower,” Jon huffed, “The doctor said I could as long as I did not get the dressing wet.”

Dany came over to him and tried to take the tape and plastic from his hand. He shrugged her off.

“I can do it, Dany, I’m not an invalid,” He snapped.

“Don’t pull that tone with me, Jon Snow,” Dany put her hands on her hips and glared at him. His body was still hunched over, and he continued to try and cover the incision himself. She reached for him again, and like a pouty, little boy, he pulled away from her.

“Jon,” She gentled her voice, “Let me help you.”

“I can do it,” He growled.

“Well, obviously, you can’t,” Dany sighed, “Jon?”

He stared at her for a moment, but then said nothing as he handed her the materials. He was still silent as she finished.

“Why are you being so stubborn?” She asked.

That drew a chuckle out of his sullen face, “I’m stubborn?”

She felt his eyes on her as she helped him off with his pants.

“Don’t get any funny ideas,” Dany scolded him with a playful grin. He laughed and tangled his fingers into her hair as she stood up, and he stepped out of his pants. His other hand went to the hem of her shirt.

“Jon, you know we can’t,” Dany said seriously, “You can’t even stand up straight.” He was looking at her again.

“Get in with me?” He asked in a deep, husky voice, that sent a shiver down her spine.

“Jon,” She warned. He smiled.

“I may need help washing.”

“Will you now?”

He nodded. Dany rolled her eyes.

“Please?” He asked in a whisper, “I want to see you.”

Dany felt heart skip, and she bit her lip. She could not deny him, and so she nodded and removed her pajamas. Grabbing a couple of washcloths, they stepped into the shower. He was still slightly bent over as they stood under the water.

“Are you in pain?” She asked, noticing him grimace.

“A little,” he confessed, but his eyes were studying her face with such tenderness that she had to look away or their task would be lost. Dan soaped up one of the washcloths and began to wash his arms. He smiled softly at her, each time their eyes met.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you at the grocery store the other day,” Dany said, trying to take their minds off her hands on his body.

“I’m sorry for shouting too, that is not how I want us to be,” Jon said, placing a hand on her shoulder to steady himself.

“Me either,” Dany ran the soapy cloth across his chest. Anytime they made up after a fight, they made love afterward, and Dany was sad that they could not do just that right now. Her knees felt a bit weak from the way he was looking at her. She ran the cloth across his neck. He took a step closer.

“You step any closer and I’m not going to have any room to wash you,” She teased. Dany ran the rag down his firm stomach, being mindful of the plastic covered incision on his side. Jon sighed deeply and laid his head against the top of hers as she washed him in more intimate places. Dany felt her stomach quiver. _Were they making love, even in this?_ Dany felt like her heart was going to pump out of her chest.

“Turn around,” Dany instructed, and washed his back, while making sure he was steady on his feet. Finally, she sunk her fingers into his dark curls and washed his hair.

            When she was finished rinsing the shampoo from his hair, she moved to turn the water off, but he took her hand.

“We’re not finished yet,” he whispered, as the steam from the shower rose between them. She watched him as he soaped up a clean washcloth and took a limping step back toward her. He was a little shaky on his feet which made her nervous.

“Jon…” Dany whispered. He stood in front of her and with slow, steady movements, he began to wash her just as she did to him, running the cloth first down her arms. Their gazes held. He ran the cloth across her chest, and between her breasts. She released a soft whimper as the cloth grazed over each breast, and over her swollen belly.

“Jon…” She whispered again, not wanting him to overtax himself. The last time they had been in the shower together, he had taken her in his strong arms and held her against the wall, as he made love to her, but somehow this felt even more intimate.

“Ssh,” He hushed her. When he moved to wash her back, he did not have her turn around, but instead, with a hand cupping the back of her neck, he drew her close to him. Dany laid her head against his chest, as the water poured over them, and he washed down the length of her back. She shivered against him as he ran the cloth across each side of her bottom, and then to the front apex of her thighs.

“Are you cold?” He asked, his voice deep and gruff, his accent thicker as it often was when he loved her. Dany shook her head against his chest. They stood still for a moment, soaking up the intimacy. Dany had not realize how heavily she was breathing. When she finally looked up at Jon, he was already looking down at her. If anyone could make love with their eyes, it was Jon Snow and she had to remind herself not to grab hold of him to steady herself.

            They were quiet as they got out of the shower and helped each other dry off.

“Lie down on the bed so that I can redress your stitches,” Dany commanded, and he obeyed, seeming more compliant after their shared shower. Dany followed the doctor’s instructions as she began to clean the wound.

“Ouch,” He gasped, even as she tried to be delicate.

“Don’t be such a baby,” She teased. A knock came to the door.

“Just a minute, Lya,” Dany called out.

“Can I start breakfast?” She asked through the door.

“Yes,” Dany said, “Go ahead and start taking things out of the refrigerator, I’ll be in there in a minute.”

They heard Lyanna scurry off down the hall.

“When is Jorah and Brienne going to be here?” Jon asked.

“A little while after lunch.”

“Did Brienne say anything else?”

“No, just that he wanted to talk to the both of us,” Dany said as she finished redressing the incision. Jon seemed to find that strange but made no further comment.

 

            Dany watched with a fond smile, as Lyanna made Jon sit down in the recliner once again.

“Here’s a blanket,” Lyanna put it over his legs, then laid a pillow across his stomach, “The doctor said putting a pillow on it will help it not get so irritated.”

“Thank you,” Jon said with a sweet, patient smile and Dany loved him for it. Lyanna then started toward the kitchen.

“Lya, why don’t you stay in here with Jon and watch some cartoons, and keep him company?” Dany suggested.

“But I want to help,” Lyanna insisted.

“Let me take care of the two of you now,” Dany bent down and whispered in her ear conspiratorially, “Keep an eye on him, and let me know if he does anything he isn’t supposed to.”

Jon chuckled at them as he went to open his newspaper.

“I can do that,” Lyanna assured her, and took up her post on the sofa.

            Dany went into the kitchen and started some eggs. Feeling one of the babies kick her side, Dany smiled and also felt a strange sadness wash over her. She wondered if Jon had been serious that he wanted to consider the name Rhaella, if baby number two was a girl. Dany did not often dwell on her parents; she did not remember them after all. She did not know if it was just her hormones or not, but taking care of Lyanna and Jon, and carrying these babies inside her, filled her with a renewed longing for her own mother. She remembered being a thirteen-year-old girl having her first period, and not having a mother to talk too, and she remembered not having anyone to teach her how to care for her hair. She wondered if her mother had been as fierce as Dany, herself, could be, and she wondered if she had been more nurturing. Ultimately, she wondered if the lack of a mother in her life, would cause her to be less of a mother.

            Dany heard the unmistakable sound of Jon hobbling into the kitchen. He leaned over her shoulder.

“You are supposed to be resting in the recliner,” Dany said as she took the eggs off the stove.

“Lyanna fell back asleep,” Jon said with a smile, “And I can’t read the bloody news anymore.”

“So read a book.”

“Let me help you.”

“Jon, why do you find it so difficult to let me take care of you?” Dany asked him seriously.

“You can be just as bad,” Jon chuckled, as he sat down at the table. Dany thought back to that week she had been with him right after her accident, it seemed so long ago, but it had not even been a year, in fact it had been less than eight months. That knowledge occasionally sent Dany’s mind reeling, thinking of how far they had come in such a short time.

“When you brought me home from the hospital after my accident,” Dany started, “I was terrified, you know?”

Jon smiled at her, “yes, I know.”

“I’m glad you did though,” Dany said softly, “I’m glad you brought me here, and did not let Missy take me home with her…I don’t think I realized it at that time… but…” her voice trailed off thinking about that week.

“But?”

“I think I fell in love with you again that week,” Dany said to him. He smiled gently at her, “Do you remember the morning I broke the glass in here?”

“That was the first morning.”

Dany smiled, “Yes, it was, wasn’t it?” She turned and faced him, “Even then, I was struck with how patient and gentle you were… it terrified me.”

“Terrified you?” His brow furrowed in confusion.

“Because I knew I had never known anyone else like you… and … and that I could fall for you so easily,” Dany came and stood in front of him and stroked his hair back out of his face, he put a hand on her belly, “Do you remember our first ‘proper’ date?”

Jon nodded.

“I thought I loved you then.”

To her surprise tears filled his eyes, and his voice was so vulnerable as he said, “I wanted you to love me again… so… so badly.”

Dany leaned over and kissed him deeply.

“Did you mean it at the hospital, that you want to name baby two, Rhaella, if she is a girl?” Dany asked in a whisper.

“Yes,” Jon said, “I know it’s hard for you to think of your mother, just…just like it is for me… but it’s a beautiful name, and… and I think….”

Dany cut him off with another deep kiss. Their moment, however, was interrupted by Lyanna rushing into the room kitchen to locate Jon, and nearly gagging as she saw them kissing. Jon and Dany laughed, and looked at each other with eyes that promised to finish their conversation later.

 

* * *

 

            Brienne and Jorah arrived just after lunch time, as they said they would. Brienne ushered a sullen Lyanna out the front door to take Ghost for a walk.

“I swear, she is starting to act like you,” Dany quietly teased Jon for only him to hear. He playfully rolled his eyes and hobbled back into the kitchen where they had sat Jorah with a cup of tea. The three of them sat and faced each other.

“I know this is…unusual,” Jorah began. Dany was not sure what to make of this audience.

“I take it you have come to a decision?” Jon asked, his voice giving none of his emotions away.

Jorah glanced out the window for a moment, “I’ve made many, many mistakes in my life…” He began, “I met Maege eleven years ago in Essos, she was in the army, and she was young and vibrant, and fierce and everything that I was not.”

Jon and Dany exchanged a look but did not interrupt him.

“In the end, I broke things off with her, told her to find a younger man, someone worthy of her… I broke her heart,” Jorah explained, “And then I never heard from her again. I would have been a father to Lyanna… had I… had I known.”

Jon took a deep steadying breath obviously trying to reign in his emotions, and Dany bristled as he said, “You can still be a father to her.”

"I lost the right to be her father when I broke her mother’s heart… Maege obviously did not want me involved in her life,” Jorah said, once again glancing out the window like a man full of regret, “but I'm not going to leave her up here to be bounced around from foster home to foster home until she ages out of the system." 

Dany’s heart sank, but Jorah did not seem to be finished.

"I'm also not foolish enough to think that I could offer Lyanna a better life than the one she obviously has with the two of you,” He said with a deep sigh, “But I know you two have a baby on the way, and are perhaps not….” Jorah’s voice trailed off seeming to search for the right words.

"Are you asking us what our intentions are with your daughter?" Jon chuckled, and Dany grasped his hand.

Jorah smiled sadly, "In a sense... yes I guess I am."

Jon and Dany exchanged a look, and much to Dany’s chagrin, she burst into tears.

“We want her,” Dany sobbed.

“We have always wanted her,” Jon confirmed, looking like he might cry as well. Jorah smiled then.

“Then I am willing to sign my parental rights over to the two of you, and give you full custody and sole guardianship of her,” Jorah hesitated a moment before adding, “I… I would like to be involved in her life… but only as much as you will allow and are comfortable with… I have also spoken to my assistant and am working on setting up a college fund for her, that she will be able to access when she is old enough.”

Dany still had tears coming down her cheeks, as she reached for Jorah’s hand.

“We will love her with all of our hearts,” Dany assured him.

Jorah gave her hand a squeeze, “That is all that I ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Jon POV, what is in the news?


	72. Secrets Pt1 (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your comments, they keep me inspired and motivated as I am trying to wrap up all the loose ends of this story. This chapter is a bit serious, but important. I am a little nervous how it turned out. I hope you enjoy!

Staring up at the ceiling in the dark, Jon could not sleep. Every day since his surgery he had been haunted by the headlines running in the newspapers.

 _The Honorable Arthur Dayne, Father of Two, Seduced Young Northern Woman, Thirty Years Ago, Forced to Resign_ _His Seat in Parliament_. _Possible Bastard?_

_The Honorable Arthur Dayne, Father of Two, Seduced Young Northern Woman, Thirty Years Ago. Possible Bastard?_

_Arthur Dayne, Seduced Young Northern Woman, Thirty Years Ago. Possible Bastard?_

The discrimination against bastards in Westeros was nearly unheard of now, occasionally children still carried bastard names, like Snow, when a father did not claim a child and a mother refused to name the father, but those names were rare. Overall bastard children were treated much like any other child. For all the progress made in Westeros regarding the treatment of bastard children, however, nothing brought it back to the forefront quite like a political scandal.

_Arthur Dayne Seduced Young Northern Woman. Possible Bastard?_

Jon’s surgery had prevented him from driving to Ned’s house and demanding answers, and he had picked up the phone more than once this week to call him but could never seem to bring himself to dial the number. Jon had always suspected that Ned knew his father, but as a child he had never asked fearing to sound ungrateful, and as a man, it had before never seemed important. Perhaps it was cowardice, or perhaps he had never wished to know the man who had abandoned his mother. Jon glanced over at Dany’s sleeping form, carrying his babies and sharing this life with him. Jon could not imagine abandoning her, but Jon loved her. Had his father loved his mother? He thought of Lya and Jorah. Did his father even know about him? Had his mother kept him a secret from him?

The headline once again taunted him… _Arthur Dayne Seduced Young Northern Woman. Possible Bastard?_

Could Arthur Dayne…? Jon shook his head in frustration. Surely, he was jumping to premature conclusions. He rolled onto his side, and he heard Dany mumbling in her sleep. Her hand reached back to feel for him, and so he snuggled up behind her and held her close.

“I love you,” He whispered in her ear, and closed his eyes trying to sleep. The morning would come soon enough.

 

            Trying to give Dany some space to study for her midterm exams in the upcoming week, and finally able to drive, Jon took Lya to the Starks to play with Rickon. Jon needed to see Ned. He did not think he could rest until he knew. They entered the Stark home, and Lya scurried off to find Rickon in the backyard, and Jon found Cat cooking supper in the kitchen.

“How are you feeling?” Cat asked, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before returning to her preparations.

“There is still some pain, but I can drive again and I’m going back to work on Monday,” Jon replied. He reached for a piece of cheese from her cutting board, but Cat gave his hand a playful smack.

“Would you and Lya like to stay for dinner?”

“Well, Dany…” Jon started, but Cat interrupted him.

“Call her and tell her to come eat when she is done studying for the afternoon.”

Jon nodded, and Cat gave him one of her strange, perceptive looks.

“Is everything alright, Jon?”

Jon kissed her cheek, “Yes. Is Dad home?”

“He is in the backyard, working on the treehouse with Rickon.”

“Thanks,” Jon shot a quick text to Dany about supper and headed out the backdoor.

            Jon found Lyanna, Rickon and Ned all working on the treehouse together. When Ned saw Jon approaching, he sent Lyanna and Rickon off to play. Ned’s face was unreadable, but he gave him a hug. Jon was not sure how to ask what he came to ask, but Ned started first.

“You and Robb first took up woodworking when we built this treehouse together,” Ned began, “The two of you could not have been more than seven or eight.”

Jon remembered building the treehouse. He did not remember it being the catalyst for their woodworking hobby, but he remembered building the treehouse because it was one year after his mother had died, and Robb had wanted him to be happy again.

“I was about seven… it was a year after…after mom.”

Ned patted his shoulder and they began to walk toward the house.

“I take it you have been reading the news?” Jon asked, trying to gauge Ned’s reaction. Ned’s eyes darkened.

“Aye.”

“You know it never seemed important after mom was gone, and then I was in the military, then building a life with Dany, I never thought I needed to know,” Jon raked a hand through his hair, “Sometimes I think it was easier for me to believe that mom took the secret to her grave.”

Ned looked off into the distance for a moment, “I loved your mother very much, Jon, out of all my siblings, she and I were perhaps the closest.”

They stopped on the porch and faced each other before Ned went on, “She made me swear never to tell you. I never agreed with her decision to not tell you the truth but people are prone to foolish decisions when they are in love, and you may not want to hear this, but even for all of his flaws, your mother loved your father.”

“She loved him, but she kept him a secret?” Jon asked, feeling frustration and hurt trying to choke him.

“I did not say she was right in what she did, but she did it for love him… and for love of you.”

Jon was not sure he wanted to know the truth, but the headlines taunted him…

_The Honorable Arthur Dayne, Father of Two, Seduced Young Northern Woman, Thirty Years Ago. Possible Bastard?_

“I’ve been reading the stories in the paper…” Jon started, and Ned released a deep sigh, and that was almost all the confirmation Jon needed, “Arthur Dayne…”

“…thirty years ago, seduced a young northern woman who died in a car crash six years later, with her son still in the car,” Ned finished for him, repeating the details of the latest news story released on the Dayne scandal. Jon took a deep breath and steadied himself with a hand on the porch rail.

“Did he know about me?” Jon had to ask.

“Not that I am aware, though if he is reading these headlines, I am sure he will put the pieces together,” Ned said, “Your mother thought she was doing the right, thought she was protecting you from the ridicule that being the illegitimate son of a married politician would bring,” Ned tried to explain, “She did not want you to live under the shadow of their mistakes.”

“So instead I lived under the shadows of their secrets,” Jon could not decide which was worse, “Did…did he love her?”

Ned’s eyes softened and he put a hand on Jon’s shoulder, “Dayne was a married man with two children at home and he had just been elected to his first seat in Parliament with dreams of becoming Prime Minister and changing the world,” Ned sighed deeply once again like a man full of regret, “Your mother was young and beautiful and vibrant, but even if he did, he was not free to love her.”

Jon nodded, feeling age old insecurities threatening him.

“Am I… am I like him?” He asked hesitantly. At that moment the two children came bounding up to the porch demanding Jon’s attention, and the conversation was shelved.

 

 

            When Dany arrived at the Stark manor for dinner with Sansa in tow, the evening seemed to turn into an impromptu family gathering. Jon was quiet through most of their meal, and he caught Dany stealing concerned glances at him throughout. When he volunteered to do dishes, while the rest of the family gathered to watch a movie in the living room Dany followed him. Coming up behind him at the sink, she wrapped her arms around him and placed a kiss against his back between his shoulders.

“You still feeling alright?” She asked. Jon continued to wash the dishes, but leaned a bit against her, enjoying the feel of her arms around him.

“I’m alright,” Jon said, “Did you get some studying done today?”

“Yes, quite a lot, Sansa came over and helped me.”

“Good.”

Dany took a breath and seemed to be about to say something else but hesitated.

“What’s on your mind, love?” Jon asked, with a grin.

She kissed him once more, “I… I saw a news story this morning…”

Jon stiffened, “Oh?”

“A news story about the Arthur Dayne scandal,” Dany started, pausing a moment seeming to gauge his reaction, “It talked about a young northern woman whom he had an affair with… and… and who died six years later…” Dany paused again, “She had a son.”

Jon sighed deeply, feeling a strange sense of shame wash over him. Was his story so obvious? Was that all he and his mother were to the world now? Another political scandal in the torrent of political scandals in King’s Landing. Lyanna Stark, as Ned said, had been young and vibrant, full of love and life, and now her memory was soiled and entangled with the shame of Arthur Dayne’s indiscretion. Jon sniffed back some emotion. Was he the living embodiment of that shame?

“Jon?” Dany started.

“It doesn’t matter, Dany.”

“It seems to matter to you,” Dany said sharply, “Jon, how long have you known?”

Jon sighed again, “Ned only confirmed it today… but… but I’ve suspected for about a week and a half.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked, and Jon could tell she was hurt. Why had he not told her? He was not sure himself.

“You had so much going on… midterms coming up, taking care of Lyanna and our babies, and then taking care of me after the surgery…” Jon said, “I just… I just did not want to burden you with it.”

Dany stiffened, “Jon Snow, don’t you know that you are not a burden to me?”

Jon turned around and faced her. Her eyes were fiery, and her hands were on her hips.

“Dany…”

“Don’t you know that I love you?” She demanded, “Do you trust that I love you?”

Jon reached for her, but she pulled back a little still glaring at him.

“You are not a burden to me, Jon!” Dany snapped, “I love you, and I want to take care of you when you are sick, and I want to know about your worries and your hurts, I love you, do you believe that?”

“Yes…” Jon felt emotion choking the words from him.

“You are always taking such good care of me, and Lyanna,” Dany said softly, “But I want you to know that you are safe with me too, that I want to take care of you because I love you.”

Jon reached for her hand again, not sure what to say. She took his hand for a moment and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I feel like we’ve had this talk before Jon,” Dany said softly, looking him in the eye, “Why can’t you believe that I love you?”

“I know that you love me,” Jon said.

“Then why is it so hard for you to let me help you?”

“Sometimes…” Jon looked at his feet, “Sometimes… I worry that all I’ve ever done is make your life more complicated…” The confession shook him, but he needed to say it.

“Why?” Dany’s sparked fire, “Because you got me pregnant before you married me? Jon, I was just as enthusiastic a participant in the making of our babies as you were.”

Jon could not help but smile at that, and she smiled too, and her eyes softened, “Jon, I love our life, you have given me everything I’ve ever wanted, and no it’s not perfect, and maybe it did all come together rather quickly, but I would not trade it for anything.”

She stood on her toes and kissed him then, and he gently kissed her back.

“Now,” She said, pulling away, “I’m going to leave you to finish the dishes and let you brood over what I have just said, and when you are done comparing yourself to Arthur Dayne, I want you to come find me and take me and our child home, so we can get on with our beautiful life.”

With that said, Dany stalked out of the house onto the back porch.

            Jon watched Dany from the window as he washed dishes. He could see her swinging on the back-porch swing. Her lips were moving, but he could not tell if she was talking or singing to the babies in her belly. His heart swelled with affection for her, even as he thought of his own mother and how alone she must have felt when she was pregnant. Jon sighed and shut the sink off as he wiped the last of the dishes. Jon heard footsteps come up behind and turned to see Ned come to stand beside him and look out the window at Dany.

“When your mother was pregnant with you, I once saw her doing exactly what Dany is doing on that swing,” Ned smiled kindly. Jon took a deep breath and looked out at the woman he loved.

“Did I ruin my mother’s life?” He asked, trying to keep his voice from breaking. Ned put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Lyanna had always been a bit of a wild thing, and perhaps you had not been in her original plans…” Ned started, “But Jon… you were never unwanted… and never unloved. The six years she spent with you were the happiest I had ever seen her,” Ned gave his shoulder a squeeze, “It was not always easy for her, but the best things in life never are.”

Jon wiped at his eyes, still not able to look Ned in the face, “And for you and Cat? Did you ever regret having to raise me?”

“When you were a little boy, you spent so much time worrying over being a burden,” Ned said, “It broke my heart, because I only ever wanted you to know that you were loved and wanted.”

Ned hugged him then and Jon dissolved into her arms like he was a little boy again.

“You have always been loved and wanted, Jon,” Ned said firmly, “By your mother, by Cat and me, by your cousins, and now you have Dany, and Lya, and two precious babies on the way who have the privilege of loving and being loved by you. Your mother would be proud of you, son, and I wish she was here to see you raising your own family.”


	73. Interlude (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a brief scene of domesticity, before we get to a little more angst. I hope you enjoy.

Dany balanced a bowl of strawberries on her belly and watched from the sofa as Jon fiddled with the wood, he had laid out across their living room floor this morning. It was 5:30 in the morning and the sun was just barely peeking out of the horizon, and Dany had risen, hungry, to find Jon already engrossed in his Saturday project. Lyanna was still sound asleep.

“You really ought to wait until we move into a bigger place,” Dany giggled at him, popping another strawberry into her mouth. After being back at work for a week and his stitches finally out, Dany was happy to see him more himself. She was also quite pleased to sit and watch him shirtless, on the ground sanding and cutting the wood he had lain out.

“If we wait until we get a bigger place, that will be too close to the birth,” Jon explained. Dany smiled and shrugged, not able to fault his logic, especially since he was the one building two cribs. She heard his stomach growl, and laughed softly, trying to be mindful not to wake Lyanna.

“Do you want a strawberry?” Dany held out one of her strawberries to him and shivered as he crawled over to her like a wolf on the prowl, and ate the strawberry from her hand, his mouth enveloping two of her fingers. After getting his stitches out yesterday, the doctor had confirmed that it was quite safe for them to resume their amorous activities, unfortunately last night due to being exhausted from midterms, Dany had fallen asleep before they even had the chance to contemplate those amorous activities. She wondered if he was feeling as desperate for her as she was for him. Judging by the feral look in his eyes, his thoughts had fallen along a similar line. With a teasing grin, Jon snatched the whole bowl of strawberries.

“Hey!” Dany scolded, “Your babies were not finished with those.”

Jon laughed, and Dany shushed him, pointing toward Lyanna’s room where everything was still quiet. Dany started to get down on the floor with him.

“If you get down here, you may not be able to get back up,” Jon teased her, even as he took her hand to steady her descent. Dany glared at him.

“Not funny.”

“Sorry,” He chuckled, gruffly. Leaning forward, he nipped at her jawline, and Dany stroked his bearded cheek and kissed his nose. Sliding her hand down his bare chest, she felt him shiver. His hands stroked through her hair. Dany did not often leave her hair loose, but this morning it was free, and hanging in soft waves down her back. Jon had seemed a little awestruck by it when she had come into the living room this morning. Urging him to lean back against the sofa, Dany started to crawl into his lap.

“Dany…” He whispered in warning even as he pressed a kiss below her ear, “We can’t… Lyanna could wake up…”

Now straddling him, Dany lay her head against his shoulder, and pressed an open mouth kiss there, “This is your fault you know?’

He laughed at that, “Is that so?”

Dany kissed the notch at his collarbones, and Jon’s hands came to stroke up and down her back.

“Mhmm. You are quite irresistible down here on the floor,” Dany nuzzled against him, “Shirtless and building things for our children.”

Smiling, he kissed her softly, “Well, I’m glad that does things for you.”

Dany giggled, and pressed her body closer, which elicited a groan from him as his hands went to kneading her bottom. Dany ground down against him, which caused him to grip her bottom a little harder. Dany moaned into his ear.

“Sorry,” He whispered, gruffly before removing his hand. Dany grabbed his hand and put it back on her.

“Don’t stop,” She rocked against him again.

“Dany…”

“Jon…” Dany smiled as she kissed him. Dany ran her hands up his strong arms, and sank her fingers into his hair, pulling his curls away from his face, and bumped her nose against his, “I love you so much.”

He kissed her gently, “I love you too.”

Dany rocked against him again, feeling him hard between her legs, through their pajamas, “I love the way you kiss me…” Dany panted against his mouth, “I love your strong arms and hands,” she sucked at his neck for a moment, “I adore your hair…” Jon grinned at that and pulled her closer, and she whimpered, “But do you know what I love most of all, Jon?”

Jon leaned back to look into her eyes. Dany held his gaze for a moment before leaning down and pressing a kiss atop his heart.

“Your brave…” another kiss atop his heart, “Gentle…” and another, “Strong…” His hand tangled into her hair as she looked into his eyes once again, “…precious heart.”

They were quiet then as Dany laid her head against his shoulder, and he stroked her back, as their hips gently rocked together.

Dany wanted him, and she was about to tell him to take her back to bed, when they heard Lyanna’s bedroom door open, and her footsteps coming down the hall.

“We will finish this later,” Dany whispered as she scrambled off Jon’s lap, while he reached for the shirt, he had discarded earlier. He put his shirt back on and pulled a blanket and pillow from the couch across his lap.

“What are you two doing on the floor?” Lyanna asked curiously from the other side of the couch. Dany chuckled and Jon actually blushed.

“I was just helping, Jon,” Dany said casually. Lyanna’s sleepy little eyes surveyed the wood scattered around the floor, and came, almost shyly, and sat down beside them.

“Are you building the cribs?” Lyanna asked.

“I am,” Jon said, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Lyanna looked up at him, and Dany smiled at the obvious affection in Lyanna’s once guarded eyes.

“Rickon said that you and Robb built the treehouse,” Lyanna commented, “And you and Robb built my desk too…”

“Yes,” Jon confirmed.

“Can you…” Lyanna started, and looked down at all the wood, “Can you teach me?”

Jon leaned over and kissed the top of her head, “I would love to teach you.”

Lyanna smiled at them both, and reached over and patted Dany’s bump, in the funny little way she had developed.

“I’ll go get us some more fruit,” Dany said, and to her chagrin could not stand up from the floor. Jon laughed.

“Told you,” He teased, and Dany gave him a scolding look. Jon stood and helped her to her feet.

            When Dany returned with some fruit and yogurt for them all, and a cup of coffee for Jon, she found Lyanna listening with rapt attention as Jon explained his plans for the cribs. Dany may not have been able to remember all the reasons why she had fallen in love with Jon the first time, but one of the many reasons she loved him now, she had known even as early as that first week. Jon was an excellent father. She hated that he doubted himself, when it was so obvious to anyone that he took to his role as father so naturally and so well.

“Where are we going to put them when we are done?” Lyanna, ever practical for a ten-year-old, asked. Jon rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled.

“Yes, Jon, where are we going to put them?” Dany asked teasingly as she handed him his coffee and handed Lyanna a bowl and spoon for fruit and yogurt.

“We need a bigger house,” Lyanna said with a small smile. As paperwork was not finalized yet with Jorah, Dany and Jon had only told Lyanna that Jorah was not going to take her away from them. After telling her the news, Lyanna had even graciously hugged Jorah goodbye, and even smiled when he promised to come and see her over the summer.

“Yes, I am afraid we do,” Jon laughed, and mussed Lyanna’s hair. Dany had not been sure how she would react to first meeting her father and then being left once again with them, but Lyanna had seemed well adjusted to the idea of being with them permanently. Dany knew that they would face more struggles, as they learned how to be her parents, and figured out how best to navigate building a relationship with Jorah, but Dany’s heart was full knowing that Lyanna wanted to be with them and was contented.

“This afternoon, we should go look at houses,” Jon suggested, grinning before reaching over and tickling Lyanna’s highly ticklish feet. Smiling, Dany sat down on the couch and began dishing out fruit and yogurt into their bowls.

“With a red door?” Lyanna asked, and Dany’s head shot up and looked at Jon. Jon smiled almost bashfully at her.

“Yes, but even if it does not have a red door,” Jon said to Lyanna, “We can always paint it.”

Lyanna nodded, as she ate, and watched as Jon demonstrated how best to sand the wood.

            Their morning of quiet contentment was broken, when the doorbell rang.

“Who could that be?” Dany asked, as she started to get up.

“I’ll get it, Dany,” Jon said, and stood and went to the door. Dany still stood up when Jon opened the door and said nothing. There was a man at the door, about Jon’s height looking at Jon with intense eyes. Dany sidled up to Jon and took his hand, and met the man’s gaze, and her jaw dropped. Arthur Dayne stood at their door, his eyes moving from Jon, to Dany, and dropping to Dany’s belly, before meeting Jon’s gaze again, face sad and full of regret.


	74. Secrets Pt 2 (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay here as I am wrapping up these plot lines, working out how to conclude a story is quite difficult, and I appreciate everyone's enthusiasm and for sticking with me throughout!

The three of them stood there staring at each other in silence. Arthur Dayne raked his hand through his hair, as he searched for words. Jon felt Lyanna come up behind him and he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her, protectively, against his side.

“I’m sorry…” Arthur began, running his hand through his hair again, “I should not have come… I just… I didn’t…”

Jon did not know what to make of this and part of him wanted to slam the door in Arthur’s face. Arthur’s eyes met his again.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. Jon still had not managed to form coherent words.

“Hello, Mr. Dayne, I’m Daenerys, but most everyone calls me Dany,” Dany offered the man her hand and he shook it, and Jon was thankful for her presence of mind.

“Arthur,” He introduced himself, then looked at Jon, “J-Jon…?”

Jon felt his jaw tighten, and still did not say anything.

“Yes, this is Jon, and this is our daughter, Lya,” Dany explained. Lyanna looked between Jon and Arthur suspiciously, as Arthur shook her hand. Jon still could not find words.

“I’m… I’m sorry to intrude on you this way…I should have waited… or-or called…” Arthur was visibly nervous and shaken, which was not the image Jon had ever imagined of the man he wanted to hate.

“Jon, should we step inside? The morning air is a bit chilly,” Dany said, and Jon snapped out of his stupor.

“Yes, yes, come in for a moment,” Jon offered, trying to sound cordial, though his heart was racing. Ghost trotted over and nudged at Arthur for attention.

“Gorgeous dog,” The older man commented scratching Ghost behind the ears, as he awkwardly glanced around the apartment.

“Lya, would you take Ghost to your room and play for a bit, while we have a grown-up talk?” Dany asked. Lyanna nodded, looking between Jon and Arthur once again before disappearing.

Arthur’s eyes surveyed the wood and tools Jon had lain out across the floor.

“Building something?”

“Jon is building cribs for the babies, we are having twins in August,” Dany said, resting her hands on her belly. At her words, Arthur’s eyes misted over as he looked back at Jon.

“A father of three,” Arthur said it almost to himself. The tension in the air was palpable.

“Have a seat,” Dany instructed. Jon sat on the sofa and Arthur on the recliner, “I’m going to go make us some coffee.”

Jon looked up at her and tried to plead with his eyes, not to leave him in this room alone with this man. She reached down and stroked his bearded cheek reassuringly before disappearing into the kitchen. They were quiet for several long minutes.

“You… you look like her,” Arthur whispered, glancing at Jon and then studying his hands.

“So I’ve been told,” Jon said, coldly. When he looked back at Jon, Arthur had tears in his eyes.

“She never told me,” His words were almost inaudible. The silence was heavy and thick, and Jon did not know what to say to that. His mother had not told him either, his mother had been quite determined to keep it a secret it seemed.

“She…she passed…in-in a car accident?” Arthur asked, his eyes dark and sad. Jon nodded. “And you? You were in the car with her?”

Jon nodded again. Arthur cleared his throat, seeming to try and control his emotions.

“Why didn’t she tell me?” Arthur said it more to himself than anyone else, but Jon bristled.

“Maybe because you already had a wife and two kids at home,” Jon snapped. Arthur raked his hands through his hair and nodded.

Dany reappeared and handed Jon and Arthur cups of coffee, before sitting down on the sofa with Jon.

“How long are you in Winterfell, Arthur?” Dany asked, her voice pleasant. Arthur gave a her a kind smile.

“I have not decided yet.”

“Jon,” Dany turned to him and said, “Ned and Cat are coming over and they are going to take Lyanna home with them for the day.”

Jon felt a lifetime’s worth of anger and hurt well up inside him. He stood from the couch.

“No, Dany!” He said firmly, and she seemed startled, “Me and you and Lyanna are going to look at houses today, we have plans as a family, and he does not just get to show up and change everything!”

“Jon…” Dany started, keeping her voice patient and even, and Jon envied her calm.

“No, no, Daenerys, it’s alright,” Arthur said, patiently, “He’s right, I did not intend to barge in and disrupt your life.”

Jon could hear the politician in his voice now, which for some reason made him even angrier.

“Well, you did,” Jon nearly shouted, “Just like you did to my mother thirty years ago.”

“Jon…” Dany repeated, touching his arm.

“He’s right,” Arthur repeated, raking a hand through his hair. His agreement riled Jon. Arthur took a card out of his wallet and handed it to Jon. “This morning I… I just wanted to see you… but I’m going to stay in Winterfell for a while, and that’s my phone number… if you have questions for me or… or want to talk.”

Dany took the card from his outstretched hand, and Arthur nodded, and headed toward the door. He looked at Jon once more before letting himself out.

            Jon and Dany were silent for a few minutes.

“Jon?” Dany started hesitantly. Jon shrugged her off.

“Let’s go get dressed, so that we can look at houses,” Jon said firmly. He wanted to pretend like it never happened.

“No,” Dany glared at him, and crossed her arms over her chest.

“What do you mean?”

“You heard what I said, Jon.”

“Dany, I don’t want to talk about it, or mull over it, I just want to spend the day with you and Lyanna, and go look at houses,” Jon said, with a deep frustrated sigh.

“Jon, Ned and Cat are coming over and they are going to take Lyanna home with them for the day, and maybe the night,” Dany explained, “You need some time to process this, you can’t keep stuffing emotions down, or one day you are going to explode.”

“I’m fine, Dany, we need to look at houses,” Jon tried to keep his voice calm and even.

“Not today,” Dany insisted.

“Well, I’m going to look at houses whether you go or not,” Jon said softly and cringed at how unconvincing he sounded.

Dany chuckled at him, “Oh, really?”

Their eyes met. Jon wiped at his eyes, trying to hold back the wretched emotions that threatened to erupt. Dany stepped toward him and reached for him and he took her hand. She tugged him toward her, and he resisted for a moment. He did not want to feel the torrent of hurt that was currently battering him, he wanted to be angry.

“Jon,” Dany whispered, and tugged his hand again, and took another step toward him, slowly, as if he were a frightened animal that might bolt if she moved too fast. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his chest. Jon felt one of the baby’s kick where she was pressed against his abdomen. He put his arms around her and laid his head atop hers.

“Jon,” Dany whispered against his chest, “You are not defined by who your father is, or by the secrets your mother chose to keep.”

Jon blinked his eyes trying to control his emotions.

“You are your own man,” She continued to whisper, “You are a good man, a man I’m proud of, and proud to be with, and proud to call the father of my children.”

Jon could only nod.

“Now, I’m going to get Lya ready to go with Ned and Cat.”

Jon nodded again.

            Jon answered the door when Ned and Cat arrived. Ned and Cat both studied him with concern in their eyes. Cat hugged him.

“You and Dany take as much time as you need,” She said, “Lyanna and Rickon will get along just fine at our house.”

Jon nodded, then looked at Ned, feeling lost.

“What should I do?” He asked the man who raised him.

“That’s up to you, Jon,” Ned put a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Part of me wants to hate him,” Jon confessed, started to rake a hand through his hair before realizing what he was doing and stopped. Ned nodded understandingly. “He said he never knew about me.”

“I told you last week that he likely did not.”

“He did not seem to know about… about mom either,” Jon said, “Did he never once think about her?”

“He was… is a married man, Jon.”

Jon nodded again, unsure what to say, or how to feel.

Dany appeared a moment later, with Lyanna carrying her backpack on her back. Jon crouched down to her eye level. Lyanna put a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry we can’t go house shopping today,” He told her. Lyanna patted his shoulder.

“It’s alright, Dany said you needed to think some things over,” Lyanna said, “I understand, I have to think things over too sometimes.”

Jon chuckled and hugged her.

“You will wait for me before you finish the cribs, though, right?” Lyanna asked.

“Yes, I will wait for you,” with that established, he and Dany ushered them out the door.

Once the door was closed and locked, Dany turned to him, “Let’s go get dressed.”

“I thought we were going to sit down and talk about my feelings,” Jon teased her. Dany gave him a playful grin.

“Do you want to sit down on the sofa and talk about your feelings?” She asked. Jon shook his head.

“Come on then,” She said, and took his hand.

            Within the hour, Dany had driven him down to the river where they had their first date after her accident and parked the car. She came around to his side and held her hand out to him.

“Come on,” She said with a smile, “just you and me.”

“You and me,” Jon repeated and followed her. They walked along the river in silence for a while, and every so often Dany chanced an almost shy glance over at him.

“I think spring is finally here,” Dany said softly. Jon squeezed her hand, as he thought of another spring, one she would not remember, but even now Jon held dear… the spring he had proposed.

“Yes,” Jon said softly.

“That night of our first proper date,” Dany chuckled, “you told me that you and your mother used to come down here and eat Pentoshi food from that food cart.”

“Yes,” Jon tugged Dany a little closer to his side.

“I wish I could have known her,” Dany said, and Jon kissed the top of her head.

“Me too,” Jon sighed, “I wish she could have known Lyanna and the babies as well.”

“Yes,” Dany agreed, “But you know, even so, we are not alone,” she smiled at him then, “We have Ned and Cat, and Robb and Marge, and Sansa, and Arya, and Bran and Rickon, not to mention some of the best friends in the world in Sam and Gilly, and Missandei and Grey.”

“Yes,” Jon said.

“We have a beautiful life together,” Dany said, “And it’s full and complete.”

“Yes,” Jon agreed once again, not sure what she was getting at.

“I want you to know, Jon, that I will support you whatever you choose,” Dany turned to face him, “Arthur Dayne does not have to be a part of your life if you don’t want him to be, we can go on just as we are…” Dany’s voice trailed off.

“But?” Jon urged.

“But maybe he has the answers to some of those questions that have always haunted you about you and… and your mother,” Dany said cautiously, but she looked up at him with love and trust in her eyes as she continued, “I’m on your side, Jon, whatever you choose for our family, I’ll support you, because I trust you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Important decisions and important questions, Dany POV


	75. Without Interruption (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it is taking me so long to get these chapters out recently. Here is a short mini chapter that I hope turned out alright, I am never very confident about writing these types of scenes. I know it is short, but I promise I'm building toward a very important moment and it felt appropriate to end this chapter here. I will try to have the next one up today or tomorrow. 
> 
> Thanks so much for your comments and your enthusiasm, you all keep me inspired and motivated to keep going!

Dany watched as Jon started to dial the number, and when he stopped, she reached over and stroked her thumb across his hand. He gave her a half smile and finished.

“Hello?” He said, “Mr. Dayne?”

Dany had to bite back a laugh, and mouthed to him, _Mr. Dayne?_ He waved her off as he continued to talk, and she smiled. When they had gotten home from their walk along the river, they had decided that if Arthur Dayne was so inclined, they would have breakfast with him the next morning to hear him out.

“Fine, fine,” Jon said tersely on the phone, and Dany wandered if Arthur Dayne could tell that Jon’s patience for him was slight.

“We will see you then,” with that said, Jon hung up the phone and turned to her.

“Mr. Dayne?” Dany chuckled, lifting her eyebrows at him.

Jon ran his hands through his hair, “What? Am I supposed to call him father?”

Dany laughed and laid her head against his shoulder. Lyanna was staying the night at the Starks, Ghost had even gone with her, and so they had the apartment to themselves.

“I think calling him Arthur would suffice.”

“I suppose,” Jon kissed the top of her head. Dany wrapped her arm around his waist. Jon stroked her hair, and absent-mindedly added, “He had… has two kids… well, obviously they’re not kids anymore… a brother and a sister.”

Dany held him a little tighter.

“I’ve always thought of my cousins as my siblings.”

“That does not have to change,” Dany assured him. He nodded.

“The house is so quiet,” Jon suddenly laughed.

“We’ve gotten used to Lya and Ghost being here, and it is a small place.”

“We really do need a bigger place soon.”

“Yes,” Dany had to agree.

“We could have gone and looked for houses today if you had not been so stubborn,” Jon teased as he massaged her neck, and Dany playfully rolled her eyes.

“We have time,” Dany assured him, and kissed his arm.

Jon laid a gentle hand on her stomach, “I just don’t want these babies popping out of you, while we are trying to move.”

He grinned as she playfully smacked his arm, and said, “That’s a lovely image.”

“Speaking of birth, isn’t the first of those classes soon?” He asked.

“Those birthing classes?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, same night as our date night,” Dany said and snuggled closer, and slid her hand down his chest. Jon caught her hand and laced their fingers together.

“I do believe we were in the middle of something rather important this morning, before our little girl woke up,” Jon said gruffly as he tilted her chin up, to look into her eyes.

“Oh?” Dany smiled coyly, “Can’t imagine what that was.”

He grinned at her then captured her mouth with his lips, pulling her tight against him. Dany sank her fingers into his hair and gave it a gentle tug. He chuckled, even as his tongue swept into her mouth to tangle with hers. Jon’s hand slid over one of her breasts and rested it there, and Dany giggled.

“You can give it a little squeeze, Jon, you won’t hurt me,” she teased, and then moaned as he obeyed. His hand moved lower and slipped beneath her shirt, dragging her hemline up as he went to touch her breast again. It had only been a week and a half, but Dany felt desperate for him as if it had been months.

“Come here you,” Jon said with a laugh, quickly stood and lifted her into his arms, carrying her bridal style toward their room. Dany shrieked, and dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“You had better not drop me, Jon Snow!” She scolded as she threw her arms around his neck and clung to him. He groaned, “Jon, you have barely recovered, you don’t need to be carrying me!”

Jon silenced her with a kiss, but put her down in the hall, though his arms stayed around her as they walked into their room. They didn’t quite make it to the bed before he pressed her gently against the wall and kissed her neck, moving her hair, and running a hand down her spine. Dany shivered and took a deep breath, feeling his hands move to the hem of her pants, which he slowly tugged down along with her panties. Biting her lip, Dany pressed her bottom back against him, and he groaned deeply and pulled her hips flush against his.

“Jon…” Dany moaned, taking his hand and holding it.

“Dany…” He whispered, and went back to kissing at her neck, before gently pulling her toward the bed, as he shed his own clothes. They laid down, side by side, their passion banked for a moment as they looked into each other’s eyes. Jon stroked her cheek, and Dany smiled at him.

“I love you,” he whispered. Dany reached up and stroked his bearded cheek.

“And I love you,” Dany kissed him, “You are the love of my life.”

Jon’s hand tangled into her hair and cradled the back of her head as he deepened their kiss. Dany ran her hands across his chest, and tried to scoot closer, wanting to feel him against her, but finding that her belly prevented her. Jon chuckled against her mouth, as she huffed in frustration. Sitting up, Jon fluffed some of their pillows then urged her to lay back against them. She held his gaze as she lay back and felt her heart race as he drew her legs apart, with a hand behind each knee. He placed an open mouth kiss against her knee, then her thigh and up…and up, before switching to the other side, and repeating the motion. Dany sighed deeply and stroked his hair as he kissed her belly before descending lower. She gasped, and her back arched into his mouth. She felt him smile against her, as his hand gripped her hip to hold her steady. Dany could not prevent a rather loud whimper from escaping.

“Good?” He teased, as both his hand went to cup her bottom, kneading it gently. Dany gripped his hair.

Panting, she whispered, “Don’t stop,” and dug her fingers into his beautiful hair.

With his mouth, he made her a complete shuddering mess, and after he pulled himself into a sitting position between her legs and smiled softly at her, as he stroked her calves. Dany giggled, and leaned her head back, feeling an overwhelming sense of contentment.

“You alright?” He playfully asked, when she still had not said anything for the span of a few minutes. Dany nodded and smiled at him, as she moved to get on her knees. She rested her hands on his strong shoulders to steady herself, as she urged him now to lie back against the pillows. Jon stroked her forearm, then laced their fingers together as he lay down on his back, and she threw her leg over him, to straddle him. They both released contented moans as she sank down onto him and just sat there for a moment, looking into each other’s eyes.

“Am I too heavy?” Dany whispered, feeling herself tremble around him. Jon stroked her thigh with one hand, while keeping the fingers of his other hand laced with hers.

“You’re perfect,” He gave her a tender smile, and then moaned as she slowly rocked herself against him, “You feel so good, love… so soft.”

Dany smiled and shuddered, continuing the deliberate undulation of her hips over his. Jon was not particularly verbal in bed, but he was prone to whisper simple and sweet things to her and they never failed to make her smile and warm her heart. She gasped, as he thrust up to meet her.

“Oooh, Jon….” Dany moaned and reached down to touch his chest, wanting to feel him closer. With a little maneuvering, he managed to sit up with her still astride his lap, and he pressed his forehead against hers, breathing in time with her. Dany felt a flush across her body, and clung to him desperately, not wanting any of this to ever end. Wrapping her legs tightly around his waist to anchor herself, her body trembled, and she released a soft wail. Trying to compose herself, she buried her face against his neck, but felt sweet tears gather in her eyes as he began to sweetly stroke her back, up and down, as he moved inside her. Keeping her face pressed against his neck, Dany inhaled deeply, smelling his piney soap smell that was definitively Jon, and kissed him there. Oh, how she loved him, and she was never going to let him go. Dany’s pleasure crested only a moment before Jon’s, and she stayed astride him for a few moments trying to calm her racing heart and catch her breath. He continued to stroke up and down her back as if to calm and comfort her. She smiled and pressed another kiss against his neck, before sitting up and looking into his eyes. He gave her a gentle smile, and winced as she pulled herself from him, both still very sensitive.

“I’m going to take a shower,” She whispered, not even sure if she could walk, “You are welcome to join if you’d like.”

            That night as they lay in bed together, Jon slept soundly, and Dany watched him. If there was anything Dany knew for certain it was that he was the only man in the world that she loved and trusted, and she intended to show him that for the rest of his life. Dany opened her bedside table and pulled out the picture she kept of their first date at Winterfell pier, in the picture it was wintery and cold, but anytime she dreamed of it, it was always springtime. She smiled to herself. She knew exactly how to make certain dreams come true.


	76. Home. (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter, and I may have even teared up writing it! I hope it turned out alright and everyone enjoys it! 
> 
> Thank you everyone for your comments, I love reading them, they really do make my day!

Arthur was already waiting for them at the restaurant when they arrived, and Jon already felt tense. He was not sure what Arthur Dayne could tell him about his mother or the rest of his estranged family and he was not sure he cared to know. Dany gave his hand an encouraging squeeze and he looked down and smiled at her, before they approached Arthur’s table. The silence was heavy and awkward as they perused the menu and ordered. Jon’s stomach felt tight and queasy, and he was not sure he wanted what he ordered.

“Twins, huh?” Arthur ask, as he awkwardly picked at a loose string on the tablecloth. Jon had seen Arthur Dayne give speeches on television, and so this was not the image Jon had expected from the man he wanted to believe was an arrogant, asshole. He looked almost as uncomfortable as Jon felt.

“Yes,” Jon said, when Dany poked him under the table.

“And how old is Lya?”

“Ten,” Jon said, and he could see Arthur trying to puzzle out their history.

“We’re adopting Lyanna” Dany explained. Arthur nodded.

“She’s a sweet girl,” Arthur raked his hand through his hair, “Being named Lyanna… I just assumed…” his voice trailed off.

Jon felt his jaw tighten.

“Rhaenys and… and Aegon, my children… my other children… they don’t have any kids yet,” Arthur explained. _So, does he want to play grandfather, instead of father?_ Jon asked himself as he studied the man.

“And where do they live?” Dany asked, and Jon could have kissed her for breaking the tension.

“Rhaenys lives in western Dorne, and Aegon lives in Essos near the Rhoyne river,” Arthur said.

“Those are both a far cry from King’s Landing,” Dany said. Arthur nodded and Jon thought he looked rather old and sad in that moment.

“We occasionally see each other around the holidays,” Arthur said, “But I’m afraid our home was never very… happy… being in politics, we were always in the public eye… and my wife and I’s marriage has never been the same since… since…” He did not seem able to say it, but he just looked at Jon, “Anyway, she… my wife, she stuck with me through… everything, for the kids… I do not deserve her.”

            Their food came then, and they were silent for a moment as they settled into eating. Jon picked at his food and mulled over his words. His wife had known about the affair for years it seemed, and yet the news story only broke a couple of weeks ago. Jon could not stop himself from asking,

“You say you did not know about me, that my mom never told you,” He said, trying to keep his voice even, “How did you find me?”

Arthur looked up at him then, his eyes profoundly sad, “I had no right to pursue your mother the way I did,” He began, “But when I met her, I was trying to break into politics, and I kept hitting walls… I was discouraged and angry, and spending far too much time away from my family pursuing my career… and your mother… she was funny, and sweet, and alive in a way that I had not been for years…”

Jon tried to patiently listen.

“She made me believe I could do anything, she made me feel alive again,” Arthur explained with a deep sigh, “I was wrong to feel that way, wrong to love her the way I did, and I was wrong to leave her the way I did… the last time I saw her, she told me that we were wrong, that she could not live with the idea of destroying my marriage on her account… she said she never wanted to see me again…”

Jon bristled, but said nothing.

“I don’t know if she knew about you yet or not,” Arthur said, “And right after, I got my big break in politics and… and I never looked back… and had I known…. If I had known about you…”

“What?” Jon snapped.

“I don’t know what I would have done,” Arthur confessed honestly, “But a couple weeks ago when I found out she had died, and that she had a son… I had to know… to know for sure, and started to dig around in the city records… I'm-I’m glad that there is a part of her still here in this world.”

“Did you ever think of her? Even once?” Jon tried to restrain his emotion. Arthur looked him in the eyes then.

“Would it matter if I did?” He said almost absentmindedly, “There was nothing that I could do to make the situation right, nothing I could do to correct the way I treated her, it had already been done. Sometimes there are no right or easy choices, sometimes there are just choices less grievous than others.”

Jon and Arthur stared at each other for what felt like a long time, though only a few seconds elapsed.

“I know it is not worth much coming from me now,” Arthur said, “But… I am sorry.”

Jon blinked back the moisture trying to gather in his eyes.

“I am sorry for not being there for her… and for you.”

Jon nodded, and felt Dany squeeze his hand under the table.

“I don’t want to intrude on your life,” Arthur said, as they finished their breakfast, and he snatched the bill before Jon could protest, “I know you have gotten on fine without me all these years, and I know Ned Stark is twice the father I’ll ever be, but if… one day, if you’re willing… I would like to know you and the man you have become,” He gave Dany a gentle smile then, “And if you would allow me, I would like to know your children.”

“Well, I can’t make you any promises,” Jon said gruffly, but managed to extend his hand to Arthur as they said their goodbyes, “But I’m willing to consider it.”

Arthur gave them both a kind smile, and nodded, “Thank you.”

* * *

 

            Dany drove them silently as Jon was lost in thought. She occasionally glanced over at him, and he could almost hear her thoughts running in circles.

“You can shout if you need too,” Dany finally said, and flashed him a grin. Jon playfully rolled his eyes.

“I don’t need to shout.”

She giggled, “I would not blame you if you needed too.”

Jon took her hand and kissed it, “I don’t.”

“Alright then,” Her voice light and teasing, and he knew it was for his sake, “This is your final shouting chance, tomorrow you will have missed it.”

Jon laughed at that and was struck with how much he loved and wanted her…always.

“Thank you for going with me,” he said. She smiled, and took a wrong turn, “You are going the wrong way, love.”

“Don’t be a backseat driver, Jon, it does not become you,” came her mild rebuke, though she had a mischievous glint in her eye. He shook his head and became increasingly confused, as she made another turn that made no sense.

“Love, we’re going to the Starks to pick up Lya,” He said, and she gave him a warning glare and so he snapped his mouth shut. She turned toward Winterfell Lake.

“Fancy a swim, do you?” Jon teased her, but she said nothing in response.

He could not help but wonder what she was up too, but when she pulled up to the Winterfell pier, his breath caught in his chest. She got out and tossed him a playful smile.

“Well, are you coming?”

“What are we doing here, love?” He asked.

“You will have to come with me and find out.”

He followed her down to the end of the pier. The spring air was crisp and sweet, and the buds on the trees were just beginning to blossom. Jon was sure, however, that the water was still frigid. When they reached the end, Dany turned to him with a curiously shy smile on her face, though her eyes were bright and shining.

“Winter is over,” she said simply.

“Yes,” he agreed, and smiled at her.

“I love the springtime, everything is new, and fresh, and growing,” Dany glanced around them seeming to search for words. Jon wondered what was going on inside her head.

“Yes,” he agreed once again, and took her hand.

“The first time we came here after my accident, I told you that I thought I remembered our first date here,” Dany explained, “But every time I dreamed about it, it was always springtime…”

“What?” Jon was dumbfounded. She had often told him that she felt like she remembered their first date, and he knew she kept that photograph hidden away in her bedside table and studied it when she thought he was not looking. He had found it endearing, but Jon felt tears come to his eyes, at the dawning realization that it was not their first date at all that she was remembering, but a day even more significant that he had treasured alone since her accident.

“Dany,” He squeezed her hand again, and pulled her close and kissed her. She gently pushed him away. Jon stroked her cheek and looked at her, confused.

“Don’t interrupt me,” She said with a teasing grin.

“But…:”

“Jon Snow,” She silenced him, smiling, “That same week we came here, you told me that love was not just about retaining a bunch of memories, but about building something and choosing someone,” she shuffled her feet, almost nervously, and looked up at him, her face beaming, “There is no better time than springtime, to tell you that I think we have built something together in spite of all the hardships we have faced this last year, and I want to keep building with you, because, Jon… I choose you, and I want to keep choosing you everyday for the rest of my life.”

Jon felt tears fall down his cheeks, as she reached up and wipe one away.

“Will you marry me, Jon Snow?” She asked, and time seemed to stop. Jon laughed, even as tears came even harder down his cheeks, as he pulled her to him and kissed her with a passion, he intended to never let her forget. She giggled when he released her.

“I’d get on one knee for you,” She teased, “But I’m afraid I would not be able to get back up.”

            Jon smiled at her, pulling out his wallet and opening a little zippered pocket, in which he had kept a very important item. When she saw it, tears appeared in her eyes as well.

“Allow me then,” Jon got down on one knee, and held out her engagement ring to her, “Daenerys Targaryen, would you do me the honor of being my wife? Because I choose you too.”

Dany laughed and cupped his face in her hands and bent down to kiss him. Jon sighed contentedly against her mouth and kissed her back. When she released him, she looked into his eyes.

“I asked you first,” She whispered, teasingly. Jon laughed at that and stroked her cheek.

“Then I have a confession as well,” He said.

“Oh?”

“You see, I asked you first,” He said, standing up and taking both her hands in his, “In this very spot in fact,” Jon said softly, and searched her face, “In a different spring.” He could see the wheels turning in her mind.

“You mean…?” More tears fell from her eyes, all happy tears. He nodded. Laughing, she threw her arms around him, and peppered his face with kisses.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She chuckled.

“I never realized,” Jon said, “And in those first few months it was rather painful to talk about… so I didn’t,” he explained, feeling almost embarrassed at the confession. Dany kissed him again.

“We have three children,” She said with a grin, laying her hands across her belly, “We must learn to communicate better.”

“Aye,” Jon threaded his fingers through her hair, then teasingly added, “Maybe Tyrion can help us.”

Dany laughed, “Are you going to be grumpy with him?”

“Never,” Jon said as he nipped at her lips again.

“Jon?”

“Hmm?”

“You still haven’t given me an answer.”

Jon smiled, and nuzzled at her neck, “Aye, love, I’ll marry you.”

“And we will choose each other, and continue building together?”

“Aye, love, together.”

 

* * *

 

            Jon and Dany grinned at each other back and forth like lovesick teenagers all the way to the Stark manor to pick up Lyanna. When they arrived, they both erupted into a fit of laughter, seeing the cars of Robb, Arya, and Sansa sitting in the drive.

“I’m afraid Aunt Cat and Ned, will never truly be complete empty-nesters,” Jon chuckled. Dany looked out at the house.

“I don’t think they mind so much, do you?”

“No, they are a home for each other, they always have been,” Jon stared fondly at the big house where he grew up and strangely thought of Arthur, and his children.

“You have that brooding expression on your face again,” Dany teased him.

“Just thinking of how lucky I am to have had them after mom died,” Jon nearly whispered, but curiously he was not racked with the overwhelming sadness he often was when he thought of his mother. Instead, all he felt was love.

“Come on then, lets go tell our family the news,” Dany smiled offering him the hand wearing her sparkling engagement ring.

When they opened the front door, as usual, Rickon collided with them, but this time he was followed closely by Lyanna, who sweetly came to Dany’s side and hugged her.

“Where in seven hells have you two been? We’re starving!” said Arya, peevishly.

“Arya watch your language around the children,” Sansa scolded.

“I’m not a children!” Rickon exclaimed.

“Yes, you are,” said Lyanna. Dany and Jon laughed.

“Jon Snow, just when exactly were you going to tell us that you were related to a famous politician?” Robb suddenly appeared and demanded to know.

“Babe stop acting like the lord of Winterfell,” Marge chided Robb, sweetly, as she came over and stroked Dany’s belly. Jon grinned as Dany patiently endured.

“Come in you two,” came Ned’s voice. Jon looked up at the man who raised him, who was leaning against the doorframe to the dining room with his arm around Aunt Cat, and smiled. The whole family maneuvered into the dining room to sit down to lunch. Cat and Ned watched them all contentedly. Robb was shamelessly flirting with Marge. Rickon and Lyanna were talking loudly about their plans for after lunch. Arya and Sansa were arguing about something that Jon could not discern, and Dany’s hand was in his. Jon had never felt more at home.


	77. Transitions (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, as per its title, is sort of transitional, as it kinda takes us into the final phase of the story as it is getting closer to the end. I was not as pleased with how it turned out as some of my other chapters, but I hope it is not boring. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I appreciate everyone's enthusiasm so much, and I really want to make the ending special and worthwhile, which is why the chapters will likely take a little longer to write over the next week or two, but I promise they are coming! 
> 
> Thanks again!

“Baby two is still being quite shy,” the doctor said, as he continued with Dany’s sonogram. Dany looked up at the screen as if she could tell better than the doctor and Jon had to chuckle.

“You still can’t tell if baby two is a boy or a girl?” Dany asked incredulously.

“I’m afraid not,” The doctor said, “Everything looks good though, progressing well, and I really have no cause for concern at this stage.”

Jon watched as Dany nodded, and the nurse helped her clean up.

“Many twins are delivered via cesarean section,” the doctor said, as he sorted through her paperwork. Jon saw Dany stiffen.

“I want to try to deliver naturally,” Dany said.

“I commend you for that but I do want you know that you have options,” the doctor said, “And I also want to be sure you are aware of the risks involved with vaginal delivery of twins.”

“I want to try,” Dany affirmed, and the doctor sighed.

“Very well,” the doctor said and released them after a few more details were settled. Jon took her hand and they left.

            Jon was relatively quiet as they headed toward Lyanna’s school to pick her up. Their lives were in for major changes over the course of the next four months, as they looked for a house, worked toward finalizing Lyanna’s adoption, having the babies, and finally getting married. Jon felt the oppressive weight of decisions that needed to be made, pressing against his shoulders.

“Something on your mind?” Dany asked, curiously. Jon laced their fingers together though he kept his eyes on the road.

“It’s just… are you sure you want to give birth naturally?” Jon asked. He had to hold back a shudder as images of Dany writhing in pain during birth assaulted him, “It’s just if the doctor says a C-section….”

“I don’t want a C-section,” Dany snapped, sharply before he could finish his thought. Her harsh tone caught him off guard.

“Ok, ok,” he conceded

Dany glanced out the window, “Doctors don’t know everything.”

“No, they don’t, but they still know more than we do,” Jon agreed, “I just want you and the babies safe.”

She looked at him then and her face softened, “I know you do, and we will be, women have been birthing babies for centuries.”

Jon sighed deeply and decided not to argue. He was not sure what was eating at her, but he could tell something was not quite right.

            When they arrived at the school, it had just let out and Lyanna appeared at the front doors. She smiled at them, which warmed Jon’s heart, she had come so far in such a short time. He looked over at Dany. They all had come so far in such a short time. Right after her accident, he had wondered if things would ever be the same again, and now, because they had made the best out of a bad situation, their lives had become even sweeter for it. Yes, there were times he still grieved their lost years, but he treasured their present reality. Dany caught him watching her and she reached over and took his hand. The ring on her finger sparkled in the sunlight. He had put the ring in his wallet months ago, before they had even gone on vacation, he had not wanted it to get lost in a drawer somewhere even when things had been so uncertain between them. Now, he thought, they were stronger than they ever had been.

            Lyanna hopped in the car.

“How was school?” Dany asked her, turning around in the seat as Jon pulled out of the parking lot.

“Fine,” Lyanna said, “How are the babies?”

“They are both healthy and happy,” Dany replied.

In the rearview mirror, Jon saw Lyanna give Dany a quizzical look, “how can you tell they’re happy?”

Dany chuckled, “I can feel it.”

Lyanna looked doubtful but did not question her, “Did the doctor tell you if baby two was a boy or girl?”

“They still could not see.”

“Why not?” Lyanna wanted to know. Dany and Jon exchanged a look of amusement.

“Baby two was still hiding behind big brother.”

“She’s shy,” Lyanna said simply. Dany smiled.

“She?”

“I think she’s a girl,” Lyanna explained and Jon grinned.

“Would you like a little sister?” He asked her. Lyanna herself gave him a shy grin in the rearview mirror.

“Yes,” She said softly, and Jon thought his heart would melt, then she said in a resolute tone, “I would like one of each.”

Dany laughed, “Well, I will see what I can do.”

            They pulled up in front of the house with a _For Sale_ sign on it that Jon and Dany had seen earlier in the week in the paper. As it was four bedrooms, two baths, and in the same school district, Jon and Dany had decided to take a look this afternoon with Lyanna. Jon was still not sure that buying a house was the best course of action, but he and Dany had been weighing the cost and benefits of either renting a house or buying. They had both agreed, however, that renting another apartment was not the solution.

“What do you think?” Jon asked Lyanna with a smile. Lyanna studied the house.

“It’s alright I guess, but it does not have a red door,” Lyanna said matter-of-factly, and Dany smiled sweetly at him.

“Well, we can always paint the door, remember?”

“Yes, but it seems like it would be easier if it was already red.”

Jon chuckled at that as they got out and toured the house with the realtor who had met them there. Jon could tell by Dany’s face that she was not sold, as they went from room to room and inspected the interior.

“The backyard is not very big,” Dany said, “Ghost would not have much room to play.”

“No,” Jon agreed as he looked out in the back.

            When they were finished and Jon thanked the realtor for his time, they headed home to their little apartment.

“We have time,” Dany assured him. Jon, however, was beginning to feel anxious as he imagined the five them living in their tiny apartment, with the babies in their room with them, Lyanna not being able to sleep due to newborn cries in the night and having little room to walk or rest.

“We will find a place,” Dany said as if she could read his mind. Perhaps she could. He looked down at her engagement ring, he remembered the night of her accident when she had been unconscious in the emergency room, and the nurses had handed him the little bag with her ring in. It had had a little touch of blood on it from one of her scrapes. She had been lucky to not have had any major bleeding injuries from her accident, but she had looked so small and broken on that table, that Jon’s heart had nearly stopped. Very seldom in life had Jon ever felt so helpless.

 

            When they got home, after eating a simple dinner of chicken and rice and vegetables, Jon settled at the table to do a little paperwork for one of his cases, while Dany and Lya went into the living room to watch a movie. Several hours passed, before Jon realized he did not hear a movie playing anymore, he got up, thinking it was time for bed anyway, and went to join them. He found them curled up together on the sofa, Dany gently stroking Lyanna’s hair, and Lyanna’s eyes heavy and sleepy.

“And the prince, now a king in his own right, rode the dragons with the princess and they together prepared to defend the innocent from the oncoming King of the Night, it would not be easy…” Dany whispered to Lyanna, “They knew victory would only come at great cost.”

“I don’t want any of them to die!” Lyanna’s sleepy voice suddenly protested. Dany smiled at her, then looked up at Jon who had joined them.

“Well, good heroes risk it all to protect the innocent and those that they love,” Dany explained, “We would not like the prince and princess half so much if they did not protect their people, now would we?”

“Are they going to die?”

“We will just have to wait and see, but tonight, I think it is bedtime, right Dad?” Dany looked up at Jon, and Jon smiled fondly at her.

“I think so,” Jon said, then bent and playfully picked Lyanna up and threw her over his shoulder, “Off to bed little princess.”

“I’m not a princess.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot, you are a lady knight,” Jon chuckled as the three of them marched down to her room. Dany pulled back the covers and Jon put Lyanna in the bed, and she snuggled down into the blankets. Reaching her hand out, the little girl patted Dany’s belly in the funny little way she had been doing over the last few weeks.

“What are we going to name them?” Lyanna asked. Both Dany and Jon smiled at each other then at her.

“We don’t know yet,” Dany said.

“We talked about if baby two is a girl, naming her Rhaella, after Dany’s mother,” Jon explained, and a strange expression passed over Dany’s face for a moment. He could not decipher its meaning.

“Rhaella is pretty,” Lyanna said, “And what about boys names? Because what if they are both boys?”

“I thought you said it was one of each?” Dany teased, and Lyanna playfully rolled her eyes.

“We have not talked about boys’ names yet,” Jon said, “do you have any ideas?”

Lyanna shook her head, “we could make lists.”

“I think that is a marvelous plan,” Dany said, and Jon smiled at the woman he loved most in the world who was carrying his babies, then planted a kiss atop his daughter’s head bidding her goodnight. In that moment, all was right with the world.


	78. Insecurities (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another small chapter, I wanted to get this one up quickly because it relates to some of the issues in the chapter I posted yesterday. Its hopefully both sweet and angsty, and I hope everyone enjoys! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!

Dany lay on her side cradling her bump. Jon was sleeping soundly behind her as the sun came up. Dany’s back and hips were aching and so she had not slept well. Dany was thinking of her mother as she lay there awake. Viserys had always blamed her for their mother’s death and used it as an excuse to be cruel to her growing up. Dany had blamed the doctors. Rhaella had died due to complication during a c-section, and though Dany knew it to be irrational, she had never forgiven the medical profession for depriving her of her mother. Having never known her mother, Dany had done what she could to cope with the life she had as a child. Dany had no photographs of her mother. After Rhaegar had died, Viserys had seen to it that all such memories were eradicated from their home. People who had known her parents had always said that Dany looked like her, but, alas, she would never know. Choking back a sob of emotion, Dany pulled the blankets up around her face, not wanting to wake Jon. These were not things that Dany had ever often talked about; she did not even know how much Jon knew. Surely, before the accident they would have discussed these things, and yet he did not seem to understand why she did not want a c-section. Maybe she had only told him what she told everyone else? That her mother had simply died giving birth to her and leaving out the fact that her mother had bled to death on the operating table, leaving her three children orphaned and alone in the world. No, these were not things that Dany spoke of with people. Would she have told Jon before the accident?

            Feeling his hand drift over her hip, Dany smiled. Could he sense her distress even in sleep? He was always so in tune with her and what she needed. She was not entirely sure what she had done to deserve such a man, but she loved him. Slowly and quietly, she rolled over to look at him. She studied his strong, handsome features, his finely kept beard and his beautiful dark curls, all of which she loved about him. But it was not those beautiful dark curls and brooding grey eyes that had kept her from running away back to the familiar and harsh King’s Landing after her accident; no, it had been his patience and his gentleness. Patience took a unique kind of strength that so few in the world possessed these days. All the pain and suffering he had been through throughout his life would have made a lesser man cruel and cold, as it had done to Viserys, but it had only served to make Jon more kind and patient. He was the strongest person she had ever known and hoped that she too would always allow her hardships to make her kind, instead of cold. Reaching up gently, Dany stroked his bearded cheek, and smiled at the deep sleepy sounds he made.

            Dany looked at the clock, if she woke him now perhaps, they could…. before they had to be up and getting ready for the day. She, naturally, loved their late-night trysts, and their passionate or playful romps, but there was something special about their slow and sleepy morning love making that Dany treasured: the way he would lay his head against hers, breathing softly into her ear, whispering the occasional endearment, and their slow and steady movements, and the way his hand would cover her belly or her breast protectively, so as not to jostle her. No one in all her life had handled, both her body and her heart, with such strength and care.

            Smiling, she stroked her foot up and down his calf, and pressed her body as close to his as her protruding belly would allow. She tucked her head beneath his chin, and nuzzled at his neck, and when she felt his hand grip a little more tightly on her hip, she knew he was starting to emerge from the realm of sleep.

He sighed softly against her hair, “You smell so good, love.”

Dany giggled, and returned to kissing and mouthing at his neck. The hand that had been on her hip, came up and stroked across her cheek before threading into her hair and holding her against him. Dany playfully nipped at his collarbone.

“Ouch,” he laughed softly, “You’re insatiable, woman,” he mumbled. Dany grinned against his neck.

“Do you want me to stop?” She whispered, innocently. His hand tightened a bit in her hair.

“Gods, no,” he mumbled and she felt him reach down and hitch her leg over his hip. He stroked her thigh, while she continued kissing at his neck. He planted a kiss of his own atop her head. Dany ducked her head lower and flicked her tongue across one of his nipples. He groaned.

“Did that feel good?” She asked, in a reverent whisper. He nodded, and so she did it again. He squeezed her bottom, pulling her closer in response.

“Dany,” He groaned again.

“Hmmm?”

“I don’t want you to stop, but…” Jon practically whimpered.

“But?”

“I have to be at work earlier remember?” He said, his voice full of disappointment, “Court today.”

She had forgotten that. She wished they could lie in bed all day, but the responsibilities of adult life inevitably summoned. Nodding, Dany pressed another kiss against his neck, and she felt both his arms coming around her then as he kissed the top of her head again. They lay entwined just like that for a few minutes, before Jon’s alarm started to go off, and they both groaned and rolled over in bed.

            As they got dressed, they made eyes at each other, and Dany knew that tonight they were going to pick up right where they left off this morning. She would make sure of it. Once they were ready for their day, Jon took her hand and they went to the kitchen to make breakfast and pack lunches.

“I’ll be home a little later as well, but hopefully not too late,” Jon explained, as he started packing himself a sandwich for lunch.

“I’m babysitting Missandei’s little one tonight,” said Dany. Jon nodded. Dany had offered to keep Missy and Grey’s baby tonight so that they could go on a date, and in return Missy was going to keep Lyanna on their date night. Just then Lyanna, hair askew and sleepy eyed, meandered into the kitchen.

“Morning, sleepy girl,” Jon chuckled, and mussed her hair even more, “Want to get up here and help me pack lunches for the three of us?”

Lyanna sleepily nodded, and Dany watched as Jon lifted Lyanna up and put her on the countertop. The little girl did not say much, as she was still waking up, but helped Jon by delicately placing each item he handed her into their respective boxes. Dany grinned at the scene as she laid out their preferred breakfast of fruit and yogurt and started Jon’s coffee.

“Apple or cookies?” Jon asked Lyanna, and Lyanna pointed to the cookies. Dany shook her head but smiled. When Dany packed the lunches, she always put fruit in Lyanna’s lunch box, and saved the cookies for after school. After breakfast and Lyanna left the kitchen to get ready for school, Dany wrapped her arms around Jon’s waist. “Are you going to spoil our children?” She laughed.

“Whatever do you mean?” Jon grinned. Dany just laughed, and kissed him, before going to see if Lyanna needed help getting ready.

 

* * *

 

            Watching Missandei’s baby, Barristan, named for a man her husband Grey had greatly admired, turned out to be more difficult than Dany imagined.

“I thought this would be good practice,” Dany told Lyanna, as Barristan cried. Lyanna just looked at her, helplessly.

“I think we have got to get better at this,” Lyanna said, with an anxious face, “Maybe he needs to burp?”

Dany looked down at the crying baby, “He did burp a little right after he ate.”

Barristan only cried louder. When Missandei and Grey came back to pick him up, Dany really did not want to present her friend with a sobbing baby. Ghost was pacing back and forth as if concerned. Lyanna scrunched her nose up and stood on the couch to be eye level with Dany who was standing bouncing Barristan hoping to calm him.

“Maybe he pooped?” Lyanna suggested, “He probably does not like sitting in poop.”

That made Dany laugh, “No, I suppose he wouldn’t, but I checked his diaper and it is clean.”

“Maybe…” Lyanna started, but Dany stopped her.

“Lya, sweetheart, don’t you have some homework you need to do?” Dany asked. Lyanna’s natural inclination to help at times came at Lyanna’s own expense.

“But I want to help.”

“I know,” Dany patted the baby’s back, “But you would help me very much by taking care of your homework, so I don’t have to worry about you too.”

“Alright,” Lyanna conceded and got down off the couch, and went back to her homework that she had set aside on the recliner.

            While Lyanna finished up her homework and got ready for bed, Dany paced up and down the hall trying to keep Barristan calm. A mounting feeling of inadequacy that she had not felt since Lyanna’s first week with them, was beginning to take hold inside her. _What did she know about being a mother?_

“When’s Jon going to be home?” Lyanna asked, after brushing her teeth, and watching Dany with anxious eyes.

“He should be home soon,” Dany said, looking at the clock, hopefully Missy and Grey would be back soon as well, “Lets get you into bed.”

“Will you be alright by yourself?” Lyanna asked, and Dany sighed but smiled at her sweet concern.

“I’ll be alright, Lya,” Dany said, “We’re meant to be taking care of you remember?”

Lyanna nodded and got into bed. Dany kissed her forehead and turned her light out, just as Barristan began to cry again. Dany walked back into the living room, feeling somewhat helpless. _What did she know about being a mother?_

“Come on, Barry,” Dany whispered, “Cut me some slack, will you?”

Dany checked his diaper again. She then changed him into some cooler clothes, thinking he might be hot, and when his tears still did not subside, she changed him back into his warm clothes thinking he may be cold. She rocked him, tried to feed him again, and burped him, but he would not be consoled.

Finally, she sat down on the sofa, exhausted, and found tears forming in her own eyes. _What did she know about being a mother?_ That is when she heard keys in the front door, and Jon appeared, smiling at first, but when he saw her face he frowned.

“I can’t get him to stop,” Dany explained, as a harsh sob escaped her. Jon came over to her then and gently took Barristan from her. “I’ve tried everything I can think of, and he just cries.”

Jon kissed the top of her head, “It’s alright, love, he probably just wants his own mother.”

As if responding to a summons, a knock came to their door, and Jon opened it, while Dany hastily wiped her tears away, and tried to compose herself. It was Missy and Grey.

“I’m sorry Missy, I could not get him to sleep or to calm down,” Dany explained. Missy took the baby from Jon.

“No worries, Dany, he usually gets fussy around this time,” Missy explained, “We were trying to get back sooner, but we got stuck in traffic, it seems like they were working on every road in this town.”

Dany nodded and Jon gave her a concerned look. Dany got up from the couch and helped Missy gather Barristan’s things, and then hugged Missy and Grey goodbye.

            When they were finally alone, Jon sat down on the sofa and watched her as she frantically flitted about the living room tidying up.

“I need to get things cleaned up,” She explained. Jon grabbed her hand as she passed by him.

“That can wait, I’ll help you,” He said, “Tomorrow.”

“No, it needs to be done.”

“Dany…”

“I’m just tired, Jon,” She said, trying to brush away the rush of emotions she was suddenly feeling. Picking up a few more items, Dany escaped to their bedroom, and not that she thought he would not, but Jon followed her. She got ready for bed, and vigorously brushed her hair, all while Jon sat on the bed, watching her anxiously. Getting up, she got into bed and wrapped herself in the blankets. Dany felt him lay down beside her, and then his arms came around her, pulling her close, so that he could spoon her. He laid his head against hers in the sweet way that she loved.

“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?” He asked. Dany shook her head, and he chuckled, “But there is something?”

Dany did not want to admit it and felt childish. He would just tell her that _of course she would be a good mother, she had nothing to worry about, and that she already was a good mother._

“It’s nothing that we have not talked about before,” Dany said softly, and it was true, and tried to brush it off, “Silly fears and insecurities.”

“Well, it is alright if you need to talk about it again,” Jon said, as he held her close. Dany felt one of the babies kick and wondered if they were responding to the sound of Jon’s voice. Dany’s thoughts momentarily drifted back to the first time she had been pregnant all those years ago, her baby would have been just a few years younger than Lyanna had she carried to term. Her fears of another miscarriage had dissipated after the end of her first trimester, but it did not mean that she did not at times still think of her lost baby. At times Dany was struck with how much devastation and loss her family had experienced over the years. Her mother was the first to come back to her mind.


	79. Alarms (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for how long it took to write and post this. I was suffering from some serious writer's block with this story, but I hope this chapter turned out alright. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I appreciate it!

When Jon arrived at Lyanna’s school to pick her up, he saw her walk out of the building beside a little boy about her age, and he thought his heart might stop. Robb, in the passenger’s seat beside him, chuckled.

“Looks like Lya has herself an admirer.”

Jon glared at the freckled face little boy walking beside his daughter. He had reddish hair and glasses that were too big for his face, and Jon determined that he did not like his shifty little eyes.

“For gods sakes, Robb, she’s only ten,” Jon shook his head, “Ten year olds don’t think about stuff like that.”

“Do you remember Jeyne Westerling when we were ten?”

Jon nodded.

“She was my first girlfriend,” Robb laughed and playful slugged Jon’s shoulder.

“She does not count,” Jon insisted looking at the Lyanna and the strange little boy again.

“Why not?” Robb asked, grinning, “We went to the movies twice together and sat beside each other at lunch every day for roughly two months.”

Jon just laughed and shook his head, watching Lyanna approach the car. She got in.

“Have a good day, sweetheart?” He asked her, looking into the rearview mirror.

“It was alright I guess,” Lyanna said, enigmatically. Jon wondered if he should ask her who the boy was, but decided it against it for now, as he drove away from the school.

 

Jon parked the car, and Lyanna and Robb got out and stood on the curb. The house was older than the picture he had seen, but it had a red door.

“This it?” Robb asked, as Jon joined them on the curbside.

“Yeah,” Jon said, taking Lyanna’s hand in his.

“It has a red door,” Lyanna smiled up at him, “Are we going to buy it for Dany?”

Jon and Robb both laughed, “I don’t know.”

Dany was studying for finals and so Jon had taken the afternoon to pick up Lyanna from school and had recruited Robb to look at the house with them.

“It’s a bit older than I thought.”

“But bigger,” Robb said with an encouraging smile.

Jon looked down at Lyanna, “It’s in a different school district.” He had wondered if that would bother her.

“But it’s closer to Rickon, Aunt Cat and Uncle Ned,” Lyanna said, “Would I get to go to school with Rickon?”

Jon chuckled and gave the hand she was holding a squeeze, “Yes.”

“I think…. I think I’d like that,” Lyanna looked at him, “The pack has too stick together.”

Robb laughed and howled like Rickon was prone to do, making Lyanna giggle, and Jon rolled his eyes at his cousin and looked back at the house.

They walked around the perimeter of the house and found that it had a large wrap around porch, and Jon noticed some hooks in the ceiling already installed for a porch swing. The back yard was large and offered plenty of room to play for Ghost and their three children. Jon was still amazed sometimes that in under a year he had become a father of three, when they had been questioning at this time last year if they would be able to have children at all.

“It needs a little work,” Robb said, “But it’s nothing that the two of us could not handle.”

Jon looked back up at the house. He still was not sure if buying right now was the right move, but the house had everything that he and Dany wanted plus some extra space.

“I’ll bring Dany over when she is finished with finals,” Jon said, while snapping a couple of pictures on his phone to show her later.

“I think Dany will like it,” Lyanna said resolutely, before slipping her hand into his again, “We can play soccer in the backyard with Ghost.”

Jon smiled down at his daughter. Over the last couple of weeks, she had started to become more demonstratively affectionate, which he found endearing and was glad that the hard shell she had been living inside for so long was cracking open. He had been particularly surprised to discover that she liked to hold either his or Dany’s hand, and did so seeming without thinking about it these days.

“Yes, there is lots of room to play soccer, isn’t there?” Jon grinned, and the three of them got back in the car.

“I think some ice cream is in order?” Robb said as they started to pull away.

“If I go get ice cream, I will ruin Lyanna’s and my supper, and then Dany will be grumpy with me, and I make it a point to not get Dany grumpy with me,” Jon laughed.

Robb, however, ignored him, he looked back at Lyanna and began to chant, “Ice-cream! Ice-Cream! Ice-Cream,” to which Lyanna laughingly began to join in, and so Jon relented.

* * *

           Late that night, after getting Lyanna to bed, Jon went back to the kitchen to find Dany perusing a few papers and flipping the pages of a book. She stopped and began to rub the sides of her head.

“How’s it coming?” Jon asked, coming up behind her. He brushed her hair to the side and began to slowly massage her neck in the way that she said always helped her with headaches. He briefly thought of the time the week after her accident when he had tried to do this, and she had so fiercely shied away from him that he thought his heart might break. Right now, though, he felt her relax into his touch, trusting and sweet.

“I think I will do well; I just want to make sure I’m prepared,” Dany said, she leaned her head back against his stomach and looked up at him. He bent down and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“You need to get some sleep,” Jon replied.

“Take me to bed, my love,” Dany giggled, and laughed even more as he bent and swept her out of her chair. Jon tried not to groan, not wanting her to feel self-conscious, but she had gotten bigger over the last couple of weeks. Every part of her glowed, but that did not make him any less winded when he finally made it to their bedroom. Dany chuckled at him, seeming to know what he was thinking, but did not comment.

            After changing into her pajamas, she got under the blankets and then watched him as he disrobed and started to get into bed.

“What do you think you are doing, Jon Snow?” Dany asked seriously, but with a teasing glint in her eye.

“Whatever do you mean, love?” Jon asked feigning innocence.

“What exactly am I to make of you crawling into my bed naked as the day you were born?”

Jon reached out and ran a finger down her arm, and he felt her shiver, even as she still glared at him, demandingly.

“What do you usually make of it?” Jon asked, trying to keep up with her flirtatious tone but failing. Dany laughed, and reached over and stroked his bearded cheek.

“I love you,” she whispered. Jon reached over and stroked her cheek as well and smiled.

“I love you,” he whispered in return.

They continued to gently touch each other, as Jon told Dany about the house.

“I do worry about moving Lyanna to a new school,” Jon said, as he stroked a hand through Dany’s hair, “She says she’s fine with it, but everything has been so good and calm with her recently, I’d hate to upset that.”

“Well, school will be out for the summer soon,” Dany said, as she caressed his chest, “So it won’t be like taking her out in the middle of the year.”

“And she will be going to school with Rickon, which I think she will like,” Jon ran a hand down her side then hesitated before adding, “I saw her coming out of the school today with a boy.”

“Who? Carl, her lab partner?” Dany asked with a grin,

“Who is Carl her lab partner?” Jon wanted to know.

“Her lab partner,” Dany laughed at him, “Your tone makes it sound like you caught them trying to run away together.”

“Well, he looked shifty,” Jon said, which made Dany laughed even more.

“She’s only ten,” Dany stroked his beard again her eyes gentling, “We still have some time before all of that.”

“It’s coming faster than you think,” Jon admonished with a grin as he stole a kiss.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Dany scolded, gave his cheek a playful smack, “Tell me more about the house.”

“It’s a big house.”

Dany rolled her eyes, “And it has a red door?”

Jon chuckled, “Yes, it does,” Jon could see Dany thinking, “What is it, love?”

“I’ve been trying to figure out how I will manage new twins, work and school,” Dany confessed, and met his eyes. Jon stroked some hair out of her face.

“I know we haven’t talked much about life after the babies are born,” He said, “But I want you to know that it is important to me, that you do what you want to do.”

Dany smiled at him, “It will be a lot with two babies.”

“Yes, but you only have a year left,” Jon kissed her forehead, “I have the leeway to do some of my work from home, and Aunt Cat has offered to help… we can make it work.”

Dany nodded, and pressed a sweet kiss against his chest.

“What I’m trying to say, love, is that your dreams are important to me,” Jon whispered, tilting her chin up to look into her eyes.

She smiled at him, “You’ve made so many of my dreams come true, that I believe you can make anything happen.”

Jon chuckled, leaned forward and kissed her deeply, pulling her as close as he could get with her belly between them.

“Now,” Dany grinned, and slid her hand down his chest, “Why were you naked in my bed again?”

Jon laughed a loud at that and kissed her.

 

* * *

 

            Jon was not sure what time of the night it was when he woke groggily to the feeling of Dany shoving at his arm.

“Jon!” she said frantically.

“What is it?” He mumbled, and blinked at the clock, 2:13 a.m., before his eyes fluttered open to see her panic-stricken face.

“Jon,” She had tears forming in her eyes, “I’m having contractions.”

“What?” Jon bolted upright, his hand going instinctively to touch her belly.

“Jon, it’s too early!” Dany said, eyes wide with fear.

Jon jumped up and threw on a shirt and his discarded pajama pants, trying to stay calm, “Put your shoes on… and …and a sweater…”

Jon was not sure what he was saying, but he bolted across the hall to Lyanna’s room. Not wanting to startle her, he very gently shook her shoulder.

“Lya,” He said, keeping his voice even. Her eyes opened. “I don’t want to scare you, but I need you to go ahead and get up, and put some shoes on, sweetheart, we need to take Dany to the hospital.”

Lyanna’s eyes widened in fear even in her sleepy state as she sat up and obeyed, “Is she okay?”

“We are just going to have her checked out,” Jon said, as he wrapped a blanket around the little girl as she finished buckling her shoes. They found Dany in the living room pacing.

“Alright?” Jon asked her, nervously. Dany took his hand and nodded. Jon could see the fear in her eyes, and knew she was thinking of her miscarriage all those years ago. He did not know how to soothe her, and so he squeezed her hand and herded the three of them, clad in their pajamas, out to the car. The car ride was tense, and Jon felt his heart pounding as he drove as fast as he reasonably could toward the hospital.

“Mom?” Lyanna reached to the front seat and took Dany’s hand. Dany held it the entire ride.

* * *

 

            A false alarm… Jon felt like he could breath again as they drove back home. Lyanna was passed out in the back seat, still wrapped up in the blanket Jon had wrapped her in on their way out the door. Dany was staring silently out the window. Jon laced their fingers together as her drove.

“Everything is alright,” He said as much to himself as to her. She nodded.

            When they arrived home, the sun was starting to peak up, Jon carried Lyanna up the stairs, deciding that she would be going to school late today. Dany was quiet as they tucked the little girl back into bed, and they returned to bed themselves. Dany got in bed first and laid on her side facing away from him. Jon curled up behind her, but he could tell that she was still tense, and so he gently stroked her arm, and planted kisses into her hair.

“I feel stupid,” She confessed, and that baffled Jon.

“Why, love?”

“I should have known it was just false contractions,” Dany said in a huff, “I just thought those happened in later pregnancy when it was actually closer to time, and I woke up in such a panic I did not even think that it could just be false contractions.”

“It’s alright, Dany, at least we know you are alright, and the babies are fine and healthy,” Jon stroked her side and laid his head against hers, “That’s all that matters.”

Dany rolled over and faced him, and Jon saw a single tear streak down her cheek. He wiped it away and cupped her cheek in his palm.

“My mother died during a c-section,” She said suddenly, taking Jon completely off guard. “Did I ever tell you that before?”

Jon wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. She had not told him before, and he did not really know how to comfort her now, and so he just held her.

“I don’t want to be afraid,” she whispered, “But I am a little bit.”

“There’s no shame in being afraid, love.”

Dany nodded and kissed his neck, and he held her tighter.

“Jon?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t want to wait until after the babies are born,” She said, “I want to be married to you.”

“Dany, if you think we should rush to get married just because you are worried….”

“That’s not why.”

“Alright.”

She smiled at him, “I want to be married to you. All those flowers that die, the horrendous bridesmaids dresses, and all the trappings of what our society thinks is normal for a wedding, they don’t matter,” Dany whispered against his neck, “All that matters is me and you… and being surrounded by the people that we love.”

Jon kissed her full on the mouth then, “Then we won’t wait.”

“Good,” Dany said with resolve and rolled back around. Jon curled up behind her, and gently cupped her breast, as his eyes started to get heavy from sleep.

“Can I expect that hand to be there all night?” She asked with a giggled.

Jon nuzzled his nose against her hair, “Aye.”


	80. Reminisce (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry these chapters are taking so long to get up, I've been pretty busy in real life. Anyway, I debated about whether to make this chapter a stand alone, or mesh it with the next chapter, and decided to let it stand on it's own as I felt like the characters needed a little room to breathe. I hope everyone enjoys!

Dany moaned and buried her face in the pillow that she was hugging to her chest. She felt Jon’s hand gently gripping her hip behind her, and his other moved to cradle her belly, though she had gotten so big _cradling_ was no longer the appropriate term. Jon moved slowly and languidly inside her. He pressed a kiss against her spine.

“Are you still alright?” He whispered, his voice deep and gravelly. They did not often make love in this position, with her on her hands and knees and him behind her, but when they did, he was very deliberate, and calm, checking in with her to make sure no unwanted nightmares were being summoned.

“Yes,” she breathed out, and reached down to cover the hand on her belly with her own, lacing their fingers together. Dany could tell he was close by his breathing, so she moved their interlaced hands down toward between her legs to speed things along. Her body trembled at his touch, and she came a few minutes later with a soft huff, and together they rolled onto their sides, and were quiet. His hand came up and stroked up and down her spine. It had been short, but satisfying, though Dany felt bad that she had started this particular round of lovemaking but had become a less than active participant toward the end. Pregnancy was wearing on her and she had begun to feel like she would be pregnant forever. Her bump could really no longer be called a bump, and her breasts had gotten large and heavy. Every part of her body seemed to be swollen and achy. She desperately wanted Jon inside her and then when he was, she was too tired too move. Dany, in some ways, felt like her body had been hijacked by the two tiny humans in her womb. Jon’s hand continued his soft strokes up and down her back, which soothed her.

“It’s almost over, love,” He whispered as if he could read her mind. _Perhaps he could_. She was in the early weeks of her third trimester, and all the already rough aspects of pregnancy had only intensified. Dany nodded, feeling suddenly vulnerable. Jon continued to stroke her back, seeming to sense this.

“It’s not that I am unhappy about the babies,” She said with a whisper, “It’s just everything is swollen, and hurting, and I’m so tired all the time, I’m just ready for them to be here.”

Jon continued rubbing her back, now putting a little more pressure on her hips where he knew she was most often sore.

“I’m just ready to hold them,” Dany whispered. Jon planted a kiss into her hair.

“So am I.”

            They took their time getting out of bed and getting dressed. Next weekend they were getting married, but before they could do that they had to move. Robb and Marge and Sansa and Podrick were coming over to help them work on getting packed up and moved, while Arya took Lyanna to the movies. They were in negotiations with the owners of the house with the red door and were likely going to buy it. Jon had been somewhat hesitant to commit to buying, but once Dany had seen the house everything seemed right. The lease on their apartment, however, was over on Monday, and so they would be spending a few weeks living with Aunt Cat and Uncle Ned, while they finalized purchasing the house and completed a few minor renovations which Robb and Jon were undertaking together. Dany slipped her sneakers on, knowing that she could not walk around all day in her slip-on sandals, but she let out a huff, knowing what she was going to have to ask him. She looked down toward her feet, but she could not see them.

Dany sat quietly on the bed, fidgeting with her hands, as Jon put on a shirt and went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth seeming oblivious to her dilemma. When he came back from the bathroom, however, he looked at her and smiled softly. She glared at him daring him to make comment. Last time he had made a comment about it she had burst into hysterical tears. He had only meant to make her laugh, but she had not found it funny. _It had not been her proudest moment_ , she had to admit… _but_ _hopefully he learned his lesson_. To his credit, he said nothing as he bent down and tied her shoes for her, and when he stood up, he cupped the back of her neck and captured her lips in a kiss so sweet and deep, it made her want to take him back to bed. No one could kiss quite like Jon Snow. After he was finished with her mouth, he kissed her forehead.

“It will be over soon, love,” He repeated his words from earlier, and all Dany could do was nod, as he helped her up off the bed and to her feet.

* * *

 

            Dany and Jon and Lyanna had spent most of the week packing their bedrooms. Today Dany wanted to focus on the kitchen, and so Marge and Sansa helped her put boxes together, while Pod, Robb and Jon hefted the bedroom boxes out to the truck to take a load to the storage unit. Some of their things would be going to storage for those few weeks, and some would be joining them at Ned and Cat’s. Dany felt bad that she was less help than she could have been if she was not over 7 months pregnant. Marge and Sansa, however, were lovingly helping her along, even as she was out of breath every ten minutes it seemed.

Sansa gave the room a nostalgic study, “I remember when we first moved the two of you in here… it seems like so long ago.”

Dany felt a pang of pain in her chest as she wrapped glasses in Jon’s old newspapers and lovingly packed them away in a box. She had more attachment to those newspapers, and all the mornings watching Jon read them, than she did the glasses she could not even remember buying for their home. Dany thought back to her first morning here after her accident, when she had broken the glass, and then he had gently helped her fasten her bra so carefully trying not to touch her skin and scare her. He thought she had not noticed but she had. She, however, could not remember when they had moved in here together, and people seemed to forget now that she could not remember. _Perhaps that was a good thing_ , she thought, maybe it meant they had all moved past her memory problem, but she was not entirely sure how she felt about it. Dany sat down for a moment to have a glass of water.

“You alright?” Marge asked her, stroking her bump affectionately. Dany would be glad when people no longer felt at liberty to touch her stomach, but she did not protest as she knew Marge meant well.

“I’m alright,” Dany said, “I just get so tired so fast these days, I feel like I could sleep all day.”

“Well, once we are done with the kitchen, I think you deserve a well-earned nap,” Sansa smiled.

“I’d still need to get to the living room,” Dany said with a sigh.

“Kitchen today,” Marge said, as she put some plates in a box, “Small goals. I will come back tomorrow and help you and Jon with the living room if you want, and Lya can stay at Ned and Cat’s since you are staying there tonight anyway.”

Dany had nearly forgotten that last night was their last night sleeping in the apartment. Arya was dropping Lya off at Ned and Cat’s after the movies, and then Jon and Dany were joining her when they were finished for the day. Dany felt a strange ache in her heart at the thought of leaving here, even as she knew they needed the space and she loved their perspective new house.

“Bedroom is almost all done,” Jon appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. Dany silently managed to stand, and without saying a word, she walked back to the bedroom and looked around. Only the bed remained, but that would be packed up within the hour.

Dany stared at the bed and thought of their first kiss after her accident. All those months ago, she had spent that day imagining what it would be like to kiss Jon and then she had invited him to sleep in the bed with her that night. Dany grinned to herself as she remembered Jon’s weight atop her, his deep, sweet kisses, and how concerned he had been about her after, as he had, as he said that night, gotten _“carried away.”_ That kiss had only been a couple of days before she left him. Dany walked over to the bed and sat on it for a moment and rested her hands on her swollen belly. She remembered Jon holding her while he told her that they had struggled to get pregnant and sighed as she remembered how she had tried so hard to push him away. His kindness and his gentleness had been so unfamiliar that it felt threatening. Yet, _one step at a time_ , he had shown her that love was not a war to be waged against each other.

“What are you doing, love?” came Jon’s voice from the bedroom doorway. Dany looked up at the love of her life and smiled.

“Remembering,” Dany said softly. Jon grinned at her, as she reached her hands out to him to get his help getting up from the bed. He pulled her up from the bed and planted a kiss atop her head. Dany smiled and leaned against his chest and felt the hard planes of his body and the strength of his arms. She remembered the morning after that kiss, when he had stripped to change, and grinned at her and said, _“It won’t bother me if you look.”_ Cheeky man.

“You’ve become rather pensive,” Jon commented as he started to pull her toward the bedroom door.

“I just don’t want to forget a single moment.”

* * *

 

            Much to Dany’s dismay, after packing up the kitchen, she had definitely needed a nap, and so Marge and Sansa had left her, while the men took another load to storage and then to Ned and Cat’s. Dany laid down on the couch and slept for hours. Waking up to an empty house at sunset, Dany looked down at her phone and saw a text from Jon.

“Almost finished at the storage unit, will come pick you up for dinner, just sit tight.”

Dany grinned at the phone, then looked at the couch and remembered another day she had spent asleep on this couch, back when it served as Jon’s bed for a week and she had spent an afternoon napping on the pullout, and not even realizing how much comfort she had found in him. Dany picked up her faithful old blanket and held it to her nose and inhaled the definitive Jon scent that she loved so much, before she folded it and set it back in the box that was going with them to the Starks. She remembered the day she told him she remembered the blanket.

 _“It smells like you,”_ she had said with tears in her eyes.

 _“We can wash it,”_ He had replied looking so lost and helpless she could cry just thinking about it. There were days that that first week felt so very long ago, and yet not even a year had passed. So much had changed, and more change was yet to come.

Dany looked down at her abdomen. At their last appointment the doctor had offered to tell them the gender of baby number two, but they had decided to let it be a surprise. Jon had always wanted to name a son after Robb, and so they had determined to name their boy Robb and call him Robby while he was little. The only other name they had discussed was Rhaella for a girl. Lyanna was still convinced that baby two was a girl. Time would tell. She was due in just under two months now. Dany heard keys in the front door and knew that was Jon coming to retrieve her and take her to the Starks. They would spend no more nights in this apartment.

“Have a good nap?” Jon grinned at her. Dany nodded, as he came and sat down beside her, “Are you hungry?”

Dany was famished, she never could seem to get full these days, “Yes.”

He only grinned again at that, fully aware of her dilemma, “Aunt Cat has dinner in the oven, and it will be ready by the time we get there, are you ready?”

Dany felt her eyes fill with unwelcome tears.

“Hey, hey, what’s this now?” Jon asked wrapping his arms around her.

“It’s nothing,” Dany sobbed, “I’m just hormonal and emotional… and… and I know its just an apartment…But….”

Jon wiped some of her tears from her cheek, “But?”

“But it’s hard to let it go,” Dany looked up at him, “I know it’s different for you, but… but… for me… this apartment is where I learned to love you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Life at the Starks, a wedding, and other things


	81. Remember (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter, but I am a little nervous how it came out, as it is such an important chapter. I really hope it came out alright, and captured the essence of this story. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I so appreciate everyone's enthusiasm and continued reading of this story. 
> 
> Also, on a side note, you may have noticed the fluctuating end chapter count, there is at least one chapter for sure left in this story (a birth) but depending on a few things I'm still thinking through (like a wedding night), there may be two chapters left if I decide that a chapter between this one and the end is applicable.

Dany crept down the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible, and retrieved some cheese, ham, and crackers from the refrigerator and took them to the living room. It was midnight and the babies were doing acrobatics inside her and so she could not sleep. She flipped on a lamp and sat down on the couch, hoping the Stark house was big enough that she was not waking anyone. This was their second night here and it was both comforting and odd. Dany had never lived in a home with a mother and father and found it to be something of a novelty. Jon had told her that they had first met and interacted in this home all those years ago, and she felt that it was almost poetic that they were transitioning into this new phase of life here. Smiling to herself, she put her hand on her stomach and felt the babies moving and wondered why they were so active tonight. A particularly firm kick caused her to wince.

“Robby, you better not be rough housing your sister,” Dany told them, and thought perhaps they moved in response to her voice, perhaps she imagined it. They did not know if baby two was a girl or not, but Dany had somehow started to think of her as a girl, just as Lyanna did… perhaps because Lyanna did. Since school let out, she and Lyanna had spent more time together, which she enjoyed immensely, especially now that Lyanna was blossoming out of her little shell, giving them new glimpses everyday into her little personality. Dany loved being her mom, and she loved being the mom to twins even though she had not met them yet. She wished, however, that they would let her sleep.

            Dany looked up at the sound of footsteps and saw Aunt Cat walk into the living in her house robe, and long auburn hair loose about her shoulders, looking somewhat askew though her eyes were twinkling.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Cat, I did not mean to wake you,” Dany apologized quickly. Aunt Cat smiled at her.

“No, honey, I was not asleep,” she said, “I thought you might be Rickon sneaking in here to get some cookies.”

Dany giggled, “No, it’s just me… my babies were hungry I’m afraid, and now they are doing flips.”

Aunt Cat sat on the sofa, with that kind mothering look in her eyes that she often got with her children.

“May I?” Cat asked. Dany smiled and took Aunt Cat’s hand in hers and placed it over where she could feel the babies moving and kicking.

“They are very active tonight,” Dany said.

“All my children were like that in the womb, except for Sansa,” Cat smiled softly, “Sansa was a very peaceful baby.”

“Cat…is Rick…” Ned’s voice trailed off as he entered the living room and saw the two women sitting on the sofa together. He looked just as disheveled as Cat did, and Dany hoped her blush was not visible in the low light, as it dawned her why the two of them were both wide awake so late at night. Ned’s eyes, so like Jon’s, turned soft and kind as he walked over to them. He tentatively reached his hand out and waited for Dany to nod before he placed his large had on her belly next to his wife’s hand to feel the babies moving. Unwelcome emotion crowded into Dany’s heart, as tears filled her eyes. She wondered if her parents would have been like Aunt Cat and Uncle Ned during her pregnancy.

“They are active little ones,” Ned grinned, “It’s a wonder you ever get any sleep.”

“It’s rare these days,” Dany admitted, trying to brush her tears away. Ned and Cat made no comment on the tears and smiled at her affectionately.

“Well, you will get even less once they arrive,” Cat said with a soft laugh. Ned leaned down and kissed the top of Dany’s head, as she had seen Jon do to Lyanna so many times.

“Goodnight, sweetheart, we’re happy the three of you are here for the next few weeks,” He said. Dany beamed up at him and knew her eyes were glistening.

“Goodnight, Uncle Ned.”

With that said, Ned left Cat and Dany alone in the living room.

“I remember sitting up so many nights when I was pregnant, thinking and dreaming about my babies,” Cat said, with a nostalgic smile and glanced back to where Ned had left the room, “I think Ned would have another if we could.”

Dany chuckled at that, and Cat’s hand went back to her belly.

“But me…” She grinned, “I’m ready to be a grandmother.”

“I’m ready for them to be here,” Dany whispered.

“I think most women feel like that toward the end,” Cat leaned back against the couch, “I know I did.”

Dany felt her heart quaver for a moment, thinking about the end, “I’m nervous.”

Cat gave her a sympathetic smile, “I think that’s normal too,” Cat took her hand, “Birth is painful, and messy, and beautiful… kind of like life I guess.”

Dany felt more tears gather in her eyes. When Cat saw them, she gathered Dany in her arms like she might one of her own daughters and held her while she soothingly stroked her hair. Dany wondered if this was what it felt like to have a mother, as her silent tears fell on Cat’s shoulder. Cat was silent for a little while, until Dany’s shoulders stopped shaking.

“I’ve birthed five babies,” Cat began softly, still holding Dany and stroking her hair, “I’ve done it almost every way there is… I gave birth to Robb with an epidural, but with Sansa I gave birth naturally at home, Arya was so stubborn I had to have a c-section,” Cat chuckled, “Bran I delivered naturally in a tub at a birthing center, and Rickon I delivered the same as Robb.”

“My mother died during a c-section,” Dany confessed softly. Cat’s voice grew serious.

“Just because she did, does not mean you will,” Cat smoothed some hair out of Dany’s face, “There is no one right way to do it, it’s about what you need and about what your babies need.”

“I plan to do it naturally, but I think that scares Jon.”

“He will be alright,” Cat chuckled, “I know you can do it. If you plan to do it naturally, do it naturally, but if you need an epidural that’s alright too, and in the unlikely event that you need a c-section, we are going to make sure you are in the best hands that the hospital has to offer.”

Dany nodded, wiping the tears off her cheeks. Cat gave her another squeeze.

“And don’t beat yourself up about being nervous because that’s alright too,” Cat said firmly, “At the end of it all, you are going to have two beautiful babies, and I can’t promise you will forget the pain, but I guarantee that raising them will be much harder and much more beautiful than you could have ever imagined.”

 

* * *

 

            Dany woke feeling a renewed sense of vigor, that she knew would escape her by the end of the day but chose to enjoy it while it lasted. She rolled over to face Jon who lay beside her. He was still asleep, and his pretty curls were falling across his face, which in sleep looked young and soft even with his beard. Dany smiled and stroked his cheek. In his sleep he nuzzled his cheek into her hand like Ghost might, making her giggle. His eyes fluttered open at the sound, and he looked adorably sleepy. She petted his beard again and heard a low rumble, almost a growl, emanate from his chest, as he leaned his head into her hand again.

“Are you a wolf now?” Dany laughed, and his sleepy eyes sparkled with love for her. When he did not respond immediately, Dany reached down to where she knew he was ticklish and tickled him. He jerked and laughed, grabbing her hands he penned her to the bed, and he leaned down and kissed her, though he was careful not to lower his weight onto her. Dany kissed him back with zeal and wished she could pull him down on top of her, but, alas, she could barely breathe laying on her back like this, which was a common side effect, apparently, of carrying twins.

“I could be a wolf,” He teased before kissing her one more time, and releasing her. Dany rolled onto her side.

“Could you now?” She asked with a grin, and he tossed her a look that made her shiver.

“Do you want me to show you?”

Dany felt more than just her cheeks grow warm, “You have to go to work.”

His face looked so downcast at the prospect that it made Dany giggle.

“And then we are having dinner with Arthur tonight, remember?” Dany said carefully. When she had encouraged Jon to invite Arthur to their wedding on Saturday, she truly had not expected that he would actually come. He had surprised them both, however, by whole heartedly agreeing to come and even coming into town a few days early, offering his help with anything should they have need. Jon believed it to be because Arthur was a bored out of work politician, but Dany chose to believe it was because the man actually did care about Jon and wanted to know him.

“I know,” Jon said with a huff, as he started to get out of bed. Dany smiled at him.

“It won’t be so bad,” she assured him.

“I never know what to say to the man.”

“I’ll be there with you.”

Jon grinned at her and took her hand and kissed it, “Together.”

* * *

 

            Dany looked at herself in the mirror in the simple, elegant white dress that she was trying on for some final small alterations before their wedding on Saturday. Dany had to shake off the sad memory of Jon’s broken heart when they had had to cancel their first wedding. He had tried to act strong about it but looking back she recognized the sadness in him. Trying not to redirect her mind, Dany thought of her other white dress. The only thing that had made her somewhat sad about not waiting was not being able to wear the dress she had picked out for their first wedding, as she loved it so much. She consoled herself, however, with the probability that even if they had waited until after the babies were born, she may never be able to fit into that dress again. Her new dress was not a traditional wedding dress, but it was loose and flowy and white, and she had to admit was equally as beautiful in its own way even though it was different from the other.

Aunt Cat reappeared a moment later with a few extra sewing supplies and a long box.

“How does it feel?” Cat asked. Dany gave it a little twirl.

“Like I could wear it forever,” Dany said, and it was true, the fabric was light and airy, and accentuated her body in all the right places.

“Good,” Cat smiled at her, and opened the box she had retrieved, “Now I don’t know how you feel about veils…”

Cat’s sentence trailed off as she pulled out of the box a long, exquisite entirely lace veil, attached to a crown-like wreath of preserved and dried, blue winter roses. Dany’s jaw dropped at its elegance and was almost afraid to touch it.

“Sansa wanted my wedding dress,” Cat explained, “And I had offered my veil to her but she said she did not like veils… and then I offered it to Arya but she claims that should she ever marry, she would be just as likely to do so in a pair of jeans…” Cat and Dany both laughed together, knowing Arya was very likely to do just that, “And I had even offered it to Margaery,” Cat said, and Dany knew how much that meant, “But Margaery’s dress was all satins, and gemstones, and beadwork, and my veil did not really suit her southern flair…” Cat handed Dany the veil, and Dany delicately took it from her hands.

“I would love to see it come to some use… We can change the dried flowers to fresh ones if you’d like, but…” Cat smiled at her, “Lyanna Stark actually made that wreath for me…”

Dany’s eyes filled once again, and reverently whispered, “I love it.”

“I thought you might,” said Aunt Cat as she put the crown of dried, blue winter roses on Dany’s head and began to pin it in her hair, “I think I’ve told you before, but Jon’s mother and I had many differences and we did not always get along… but she made me this wreath of winter roses the day before my wedding to Ned, saying that it was not a proper northern wedding without winter roses, and so I attached them to the veil… I knew that day, in spite of our differences, that Lyanna had accepted me as part of the ‘pack’ as the Starks are prone to say.”

Dany turned and smiled at Catelyn, “Thank you, Aunt Cat…” Dany said sincerely, “…for everything.”

* * *

 

            Dinner with Arthur was, as all their interactions had been, awkward. Jon’s usual reserved nature generally turned taciturn, though Dany could tell he was making a concerted effort to be more congenial. Arthur had thus far demonstrated that he had no ulterior motives beyond wanting to get to know them better. Dany knew that Jon still had reservations, but they had all come to some strange acceptance of the situation. To Dany’s relief dinner did not last overly long, and they had begun to finish up.

Attempting to keep the conversation from stalling, Dany hoped it was not too touchy of a subject, but had to ask, “What do you do now that you have stepped out of politics?”

Arthur chuckled and gave her a half smile, that was so strikingly like Jon’s that it was almost alarming, “Well, I get to breathe again.”

Dany smiled at him.

“I have actually found it quite liberating,” Arthur said seriously, “I’m getting back into my law practice which was what I did before I entered politics, and I am very much enjoying it, I had forgotten how much.”

“I’ll be finishing up my law degree next year if all goes well,” Dany said, though she still had her doubts that she could juggle school, work and babies for her final year.

“That’s fantastic,” Arthur said kindly, “Any perspective positions?”

“I honestly haven’t looked yet, been a little preoccupied,” Dany said. Arthur did not know about her accident and amnesia, and so he only grinned down at her ever-growing baby bump as the explanation for her preoccupation. The bill came a moment later, and as he had the last time they had gone out together, Arthur snatched it before Jon could protest.

            They left the restaurant and went outside to say their goodbyes.

“Don’t forget now, Saturday at sunset at the Winterfell pier,” Dany told Arthur as she kissed his cheek.

“We will see you there,” Jon said kindly, and gave Arthur’s hand a firm shake. Dany was happy to see the softness in Jon’s eyes, instead of the cold distance. Even if they never had a relationship, at least they could both be at peace with each other. Before they turned to leave, Arthur thrust an envelope in Jon’s hands, looking somewhat uncertain how Jon would receive it. Without saying a word, Jon opened it and his mouth consequently dropped. Curious, Dany glanced over at the contents and found herself with the same reaction. Inside the envelope was a check, that would easily cover the down payment of their new home, and possibly some of their small renovations. Jon shook his head.

“Arthur…I …,” Jon raked his hand through his hair, “This is too much… I can’t accept this…” Jon tried to give it back to him, but Arthur would not take it.

“Jon, I want you to have it, put it toward your house, or use it however you feel is best,” Arthur said, “I want you to know that I’m not trying to repay all those lost years with you, I know nothing can fix that… but this is what I have done for each of my children when they have bought their first home.”

“Arthur… I….” Jon seemed speechless. Dany herself was dumbfounded.

“Listen…” Arthur started, his voice even and confident, “I have always lived a life of privilege, was born into it, and was blessed to be successful at just about everything I put my hand too, and because of that, though I have never done it perfectly, I have always believed that I should help people when I could…” Arthur paused seeming to gauge Jon’s reaction, “I have the means to do this for you, just as I did for Aegon and Rhaenys… no strings attached, no expectations… just a gift from an old man, who wants to make the start of your new life together easier, think of it as a wedding gift.”

Jon looked choked up, as he nodded and shook Arthur’s hand again. Arthur smiled, and gave Dany a hug.

“Saturday,” He confirmed. Dany smiled.

“Saturday.”

            On their way home, Jon and Dany were relatively silent. Jon seemed to have a lot on his mind, as did Dany. Dany smiled to herself at the unexpectedness of people and life. A man whom Jon had expected to hate, and had been wary of knowing, proved himself to be more complex than they had ever believed he could be. Dany supposed that was how people were: complex, and contradictory, capable of the greatest acts of compassion or the greatest hatred. As a child, Dany had craved family and had been starving for the affection and attention that she had idealized in her head. Cat was right though; life was painful and messy… beautiful. Dany thought of all the love and affection showered on them since her accident and knew that it had been this way even in the years she could not remember. She supposed the pain and the mess, only made the beauty sweeter.

* * *

 

            Saturday at sunset at the Winterfell pier arrived with the crisp, warm breezes of a northern summer. Dany could see Jon standing beside Robb and Sam and smiled at him. His eyes were locked on her, as she began to walk toward him. They were surrounded by their family and closest friends, as the sun began to sink into the lake. All the Starks were there, and Arthur, as were Missandei and Grey, the Tarlys, Davos and Marya and Shireen, Podrick, Gendry, Tormund and Ygritte, and Brienne. As she walked toward Jon, she also caught sight of Tyrion and Professor Varys without whom she did not think she would be here today. Even Jorah, who had come back north to see Lyanna, was present. Dany knew the ceremony did not really change anything, that they would go on loving each other just as they had before, and just as they had again. But as Dany saw the faces of everyone who meant something to them, everyone they loved gathered in one place to see them promise their lives to each other, Dany knew that this moment was significant. She knew that in this moment… love won.

            Jon’s face beamed as he took her hand, and his smile nearly took her breath away as the ceremony started.

“I vow to choose you…” Their vows began.

“I vow to choose you…” Dany remembered that day in therapy when Jon had declared that he chose her and begged her to choose him.

“… to build together…”

“… to build together…” Tears filled her eyes, as she remembered them agreeing that love was not just a collection of memories and flighty feelings.

Jon’s eyes sparkled, and Dany smiled.

“…In sickness and in health…”

“… In sickness and in health…” Images not only of her first week home from the hospital flashed into her mind, but also of him laying in a hospital bed, making jokes about her getting into bed with him.

“…I promise to love you and honor you…”

“…I promise to love you and honor you…” Dany remembered that night on the boat with him looking down at her with his heart in his eyes. Somehow she knew it was that night that had given them their miracle babies.

“I am yours…”

“I am yours…” Jon squeezed her hand.

“You are mine…”

“You are mine…”

“From this day until the end of my days…”

Dany looked up at him and repeated, “From this day until the end of my days…”

“Together.”

“Together.”

And then he kissed her, and Dany vowed to herself to remember every moment.


	82. Life (Jon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out to be quite a long chapter. Just as a preface, I have no experience with childbirth, and I am most certainly not a doctor, so everything medical in this chapter came from extensive article reading, so please please forgive any errors of fact. I tried to make it realistic, but really focused more on the connection between Dany and Jon, more than what was happening medically. I hope it is not disappointing. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.

* * *

 

“What if the babies do not like this color?” Lyanna asked as she and Jon painted the nursery in the new house. They had not moved into the house yet, as a few sections were still being spruced up. Jon sincerely hoped that they would be finished in the next few days, so that they could get moved in before Dany gave birth.

“What’s not to like about yellow?” Jon chuckled.

Lyanna shrugged. “I just think green would have been nicer.”

He laughed, “We painted your room green.”

“Yes, that’s because green is nicer than yellow,” Lyanna stated.

“I think you’d paint the whole house green if you could,” Jon teased.

“Not the outside, that would be silly,” she said seriously.

“Yes, definitely silly,” Jon agreed, mimicking her serious tone and trying not to laugh.

“Da-Dad…” Lyanna stuttered, hesitantly as she continued to paint. Jon smiled. Over the last couple of months she had taken to calling him and Dany _mom_ and _dad_ every so often, but she still stumbled over the words sometimes.

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

Lyanna tended to be rather blunt, it was odd that she felt the need to ask permission to ask a question.

“Of course, sweetheart,” Jon continued to paint the wall, acting casual.

“I _am_ excited to be a big sister,” she prefaced, making Jon curious what she wanted to ask.

“I’m glad you are excited.”

“But…” She hesitated again, her eyes dropping from the wall they were painting to look down at her shoes.

“But?” Jon urged.

“Will…will things change?” She finally asked, and Jon was not sure what to make of such a vague question.

“Well, some things will change, but that’s normal when there are new babies around.”

“That’s not what I mean,” She said softly. Jon glanced down at her, and saw her looking up at him, looking almost afraid. Jon knelt in front of her so he could be eye level with her.

“What do you mean?” He prompted gently.

“It’s just that…” Lyanna broke eye contact with him, “…. The babies… they came from you and Dany… didn’t they?”

Jon was still baffled trying to ascertain what she was getting at, “Yes.”

Lyanna studied her feet, “and…and… well, I… I didn’t.”

Jon smiled at her, feeling a bit lost and unsure how to respond to that, “No, you didn’t… um… come from me and Dany in the same way that the babies did.”

“Since the babies are your real kids…” Lyanna started, and finally the realization of what she was trying to ask him dawned on Jon.

“Lyanna,” He touched her face and stroked her little cheek with his thumb. Her eyes met his, looking so vulnerable Jon thought his heart might break, “You are our daughter, and we chose you.”

“But the babies…” Lyanna started to interrupt but Jon continued.

“We, Dany and I both, already knew about the babies when you came to live with us, and we both still wanted you,” Jon assured her, “Do you trust me?”

Lyanna nodded.

“Can you trust that Dany and I have enough room in our hearts to love all three of you,” Jon took her hand and gave it a squeeze, “Just because you came to us differently, does not mean we love you less, or that you are less our daughter.”

“So, if things are harder than you expected…. Having three kids…” She started, “You are not going to send me to live with Jorah, are you?”

Jon pulled Lyanna into his arms, and held her, “No, no, sweetheart. Don’t ever think that. We love you and we are not going to let you out of our sight.”

Lyanna hugged him tightly and nodded.

“I love you, Dad,” She whispered.

“I love you too.”

            Their sweet moment was interrupted by the sound of Rickon’s voice.

“Lya! Lya!” Rickon shouted and then howled. Lyanna shook her head.

“I guess I should go see what he needs,” she said in exasperation, but Jon saw a twitch of a smile at the corners of her mouth.

“I suppose so,” He chuckled, and she darted off. On her way down the stairs, Jon heard her howl in response to Rickon. Laughingly, he stood and went back to painting.

“Those two are little wildings when they get together,” Robb said with a grin as he entered the nursery.

Jon laughed, “Who brought Rickon over?”

“Dany,” Robb said simply.

“Dany?” Jon bristled, “She’s supposed to be resting.”

“Well, she’s your wife, not mine,” Robb said, holding his hands up in surrender, “She’s downstairs right now, trying to move boxes around.”

“She’s what?” Jon did not wait for a reply and dashed downstairs.

            He found Dany sitting on the floor sorting through a box in their living room, which was mostly ready to be moved into and even had most of their furniture.

“Dany, what in seven hells are you doing here?” Jon snapped, a little more harshly than he meant to. She glared at him.

“What does it look like I’m doing, Jon?” Dany tried to get up but was unable to pull herself off the ground, and so she reached her hands out to him. Sighing, Jon helped her up, but did not release her hands

“You are supposed to be resting,” he said, “We don’t need you to be thrown into labor, from overexerting yourself.”

Dany rolled her eyes, “I’m not on bedrest, besides the babies could come any time now, the doctor said it was normal for twins to arrive a little bit early.”

Though with each appointment their doctor assured them that she and the babies were progressing healthily and normally, and he had no concerns at this point, Jon had found himself watching her like a hawk.

“Dany, Robb and I have it managed, and Lya is here keeping us company, you should take some time to sleep.”

“But I want to help!” Dany huffed at him.

“You need to rest,” Jon said, trying not to sound patronizing but fearing that he did anyway. She stood there glaring at him with her hands on her hips and looking so heavily pregnant Jon was not entirely sure how she managed to have the energy to walk around every day.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, Jon Snow!” She snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. Jon drew her outside onto the front porch, wanting to keep their argument private.

“Dany, you are being unreasonable…” Jon winced, knowing immediately that a different choice of words would likely have benefitted his argument, but, alas, it had already been uttered.

“Unreasonable?” Her eyes leveled him.

“That’s not what I meant…”

“It sounded like what you meant,” She almost pouted. Jon had to bite back a laugh, knowing that would only worsen her mood. The fact of the matter, however, was that she was being unreasonable… at least in his estimation. She was over eight months pregnant, and all of sudden she decided that she needed to come over to the new place and do things around the house, even though she could barely bend over… or get up for that matter, as had already been demonstrated not five minutes prior.

“Dany, I’m not trying to coddle you, or make you feel like you can’t do anything to help get the house ready, I’m just trying to be practical.”

“Its my house too, Jon,” she said.

“I know, love,” Jon stopped what he was doing and faced her, and started to stroke her arms, “I just don’t want you to overtax yourself…

“I’m not….” Dany started to protest but Jon interrupted her.

“I know you are feeling fitful… and maybe even nesting a bit…” He grinned at her.

“Don’t use that word,” Dany haughtily pulled away from him, “It sounds so condescending.”

Jon laughed a loud at that, “What? Nesting?”

“Yes.”

“Gods, love, you’ve got to stop taking things so seriously,” Jon smiled, and she only glared at him harder.

“ _I_ have to stop taking things so seriously? Me? That’s rich coming from you,” Dany nearly growled, “Besides you are the one who is acting like an ass.”

Jon sighed. He could not win today, “I’m just trying to look after you.”

Dany scowled but he could see her face starting to soften, even though she tried to hide it.

“Fine,” She conceded, “I’ll go back to the Starks and see if Aunt Cat needs any help in the kitchen.”

She said _kitchen_ like it was a dirty word, and Jon had to once again refrain from laughing.

“Please… please… I’m begging you,” He smiled and reached for her again though she kept herself out of his reach, “Please go home and get some rest, you barely slept at all last night.”

“I barely sleep at all most nights these days,” She said as if that was supposed to convince him. Jon raked his hand through his hair.

“Then do it for me? For the father of your children?” He asked teasingly, “You know once the babies come, we are not going to get a lot of sleep.”

Dany rolled her eyes again, but he could see a smile starting to form at the corners of her mouth.

“Fine,” She huffed, “But I’m taking Lyanna home with me, so we can at least commiserate together over how bossy you’ve become.”

Jon laughed, “Fine, but you will likely find her to be on my side.” He bent to kiss her, but she pulled away from him with a playful grin.

“Thought you didn’t want me here?”

“Not even one kiss?” Jon grinned. She shook her head. “That’s cold.”

“You will just have to wait until you get back to the Starks,” with that said Dany stalked off to find Lyanna, leaving Jon laughing in her wake.

* * *

 

            When Jon got back to the Starks from work the next day, he found Dany curled up on the sofa sharing that blanket of his that she loved so much, with Lyanna who was nestled at the other end of the sofa. Dany’s hair was loose, and she was quiet, and something seemed off.

“What are you two doing?” He asked with a smile for Lyanna’s sake, but a look of concern for Dany.

“Mourning the end of summer vacation,” Lyanna said quite seriously, and Jon saw Dany hide a chuckle behind the blanket.

“You still have nearly a month of vacation left.”

“That’s not a very long time,” Lyanna stated simply, “And mom is not feeling well.”

That caught Jon’s attention, and he studied Dany who still had not said anything.

“You alright, love?” Jon knelt on the floor in front of where she lay on the couch, placing one hand on her forehead to feel for fever, though he doubted very much that her not feeling well had anything to do with fever.

“I’m fine, just tired,” She said softly.

Jon nodded and went and changed out of his work clothes. When Jon returned downstairs, Aunt Cat caught him in the hall and gave him a look and indicated for him to follow her, and so he did. Once safely behind the kitchen door, Aunt Cat turned to him.

“She’s been exhausted like that off and on since you left for work this morning,” Cat said.

“Is she having contractions?”

“None that she’s mentioned, but I have had five children,” Cat gave him a gentle smile, “And I know the signs of early labor when I see it.”

“Surely she would say something if she was in labor,” Jon said more to himself than Aunt Cat as he raked a hand through his hair.

“Every mother and delivery are different, so I may be wrong, but you keep an eye on her, those babies are coming soon, I can feel it.”

Jon nodded to Aunt Cat and returned the living room. Lyanna was not sitting on the floor, engaged in drawing and coloring, while on the sofa, he saw that Dany had her eyes squeezed closed and she was breathing deeply.

“Dany?”

Her eyes opened and she smiled at him.

“Are you hungry, love?”

“No.”

That was unusual, it had seemed since the middle of her second trimester that she was insatiably hungry.

“Sleepy?” He suggested. She nodded. Gently, Jon took her by the elbows, allowing her to brace herself on his arms as he pulled her off the couch.

“Its not even nighttime,” Lyanna said curiously, “Do I have to go to bed too?”

Jon chuckled, “No, sweetheart, you can stay up until your normal bedtime,” He ruffled her hair, “As long as you stay out of Aunt Cat’s hair and do as you’re told.”

Lyanna smiled at him, “I will.”

“I’m going to lay down with Dany for a little while, and make sure she is okay, and then I will come and get you tucked in alright?” Jon said.

“Alright,” Lyanna gave Dany a concerned look.

“I’m okay, Lya, just tired,” Dany kissed the top of her head, urging the little girl to continue on with her evening activities.

            Jon led Dany to their room, which had been Sansa’s growing up, but now served as a guest room. He shut the door behind them and pulled out Dany’s nightgown. Jon smiled at her as he gently lifted her shirt and unfastened her bra.

“I can dress myself you know?” She said sleepily. Jon kissed her nose and pulled the nightgown over her head.

“Dany, are you in labor?” He asked bluntly.

“No,” She said, “At least I don’t think so, I’ve had some little contractions that’s all.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded, but Jon was not convinced. Dany got into the bed, and Jon pulled the blankets up around her, and helped hedge her in with her assortment of pillows that she barricaded herself in at night in order to actually get some sleep. He then crawled into bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her. She settled back against him and sighed contentedly. He placed his hand on her belly and she covered his with her own.

* * *

            Late that night Jon was startled awake by the sound of footsteps and movement. Sitting up, he found Dany pacing the room in her house robe.

“Dany?”

“Yes?” He could tell from her alert tone that she had been awake for a while.

“You alright?” He asked, groggily.

“I’m having contractions,” She was alarmingly calm. Jon sat straight up and came to stand in front of her.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Well, I knew we had some time before we needed to be at the hospital, you needed to rest.”

Her sweetness nearly broke his heart, but it was swiftly redirected into a panic when her face contorted in pain and she gripped his hand tight, unable to speak, until it passed.

“I think it is time to go soon though,” She panted, and Jon nodded. After calling the hospital, he got himself dressed and pulled out their hospital bag to make sure they had everything they needed. They let Lyanna continue sleeping and Jon wrote a note for Aunt Cat, as she had instructed him to do if the babies decided to come in the middle of the night. As he opened the front door to lead Dany outside, she hesitated.

“Dany?”

She looked at him and then nodded before following him out.

 

            Once they made it to the hospital, Dany was still very calm, for which Jon was grateful, though each contraction left her speechless and gripping his hand. They were ushered into an exam room, as Dany was not certain if her water was broken. Jon knew he should not be surprised with the exaggerated portrayal of water breaking in movies, but still he had been surprised when the hospital told him on the phone that it was perfectly normal for some women not to know if their waters had broken, as not all experienced a gush of fluid. The nurse instructed Dany to change, and then Jon listened quietly as Dany explained everything to the nurse, who then left to get their doctor. It was not their doctor, however, who appeared in the door a few minutes later. He was an older, balding man with kind eyes.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Luwin,” He extended his hand to Dany and then to Jon and smiled kindly at them both, “Your regular doctor had a family emergency and is not currently in town.”

Dany glanced at Jon with a look he could not decipher. Dr. Luwin studied them for a moment before placing a hand on Dany’s shoulder.

“Is it alright, Daenerys, if I take a look and see how you are progressing?” His tone was even and kind. Dany just stared at him, and Jon was not sure what had come over her.

“Could you give us a moment doctor?” Jon asked. Dr. Luwin looked between them and smiled.

“Of course, I’ll be right outside.”

When Dr. Luwin shut the door, Jon stood and came to Dany’s side. She started to get up.

“Dany, what are you doing?”

“Getting dressed,” She stated casually, even as she paused and had to breathe through a contraction.

“What do you mean?” Jon asked, once the pain seemed to subside.

“I can wait, Jon,” She said, and Jon was dumbfounded, “My doctor will probably be back by tomorrow.”

“What?” Jon had no idea how to respond to that.

“I want my doctor,” she stated simply, as she started to gather her own clothes.

“Love, that’s not how this works,” Jon said.

“Stop trying to tell me what to do!” She nearly shouted, taking him by surprise, “If I want to go home and wait for my doctor, then I can go home and wait for my doctor!”

Jon took her hand and could feel it shaking.

“Dany, you need to at least get checked out,” He tried to keep his voice calm and even, not wanting to get her worked up, “If the babies want to come tonight there is nothing, we can do about it.”

She looked at him, her lip quivering, as she whispered, “But I don’t know him.”

Jon pulled her into his arms and held her for a moment, “I know you are scared, but we are going to do this together okay, I’m going to be with you every step of the way, alright?”

She nodded, burying her face against his chest.

“Now,” Jon tried, “Can you please let Dr. Luwin examine you?”

She nodded again and sat back down on the exam table. Jon called Dr. Luwin back in the room.

“Everything alright?” He asked kindly. Dany nodded stubbornly, and Jon had to refrain from sighing. Dr. Luwin helped Dany get situated on the table so he could examine her, and just as he did and was about to begin, Dany’s face contorted in pain once again. Dr. Luwin put a hand on her knee, and paused, not making any move to proceed with the exam.

“That’s alright…. breathe through it, I can wait,” He coached kindly, and Jon felt a growing liking for the doctor. Their own doctor had always seemed a bit impatient in Jon’s opinion, and Dr. Luwin’s calm demeanor made Jon wish he had been their doctor from the beginning.

When the contraction was over, Dr. Luwin continued with his exam, explaining to Dany what he was doing every step of the way. When he was done, he took off his gloves and helped Dany sit up.

“Both babies are in the head down position,” Dr. Luwin smiled at her, “Which is perfect, and I’ve looked over your birth plan, and as long as things are progressing normally and healthily, I’m going to try and help us stick to that plan as closely as possible.”

Dany nodded, and looked like she might cry, so Jon took her hand.

“There is always a little greater risk with twins,” Dr. Luwin said evenly, “But there is nothing to be afraid of, we are going to take it one step at a time.”

“Alright,” Dany finally spoke.

“I am going to go ahead and admit you, so we can get you settled into a room and then we wait,” Dr. Luwin smiled at them both before leaving to call the nurse.

Jon gave Dany a gentle smile.

“They’re almost here, love.”

“Almost here,” Dany said almost to herself.

* * *

 

            Once settled into a room, it seemed like hours were ticking away. They both tried and failed to sleep. They walked around the halls of the maternity ward for a while until Dany needed to sit again. Jon felt his heart skip nervously with each contraction but tried to be a strong comforting presence for her. While a nurse was checking Dany over, Jon watched the sun rise, and answered a few messages from family. He went immediately back to her beside however, when another contraction hit her. She whimpered in pain, and it nearly broke his heart. Throughout what had remained of the night, she had not been particularly vocal, but he knew the contractions were getting closer together and more intense.

“Getting closer, Mama,” the nurse smiled at Dany and resituated her blankets, before leaving them alone again.

“Have you heard from Aunt Cat?” Dany asked, taking deep breaths.

“Yes, she, Ned and Lyanna are out in the waiting room,” Jon said, “Sansa is going to come get Lyanna and spend the day with her.”

“Can I see her first?” Dany asked, her eyes looking vulnerable.

“Yes, love, whatever you want, will you be alright for a moment while I go get her?”

Dany glared at him for a moment, “I don’t think I’m going to shatter to pieces if I have to have a contraction or two alone.”

Jon smiled and kissed her cheek, but on his way out to get Lyanna, he mentioned to the nurse that he would be right back.

 

            He found Ned, Cat, Rickon and Lyanna sitting together in the waiting area. Lyanna leapt up from where she was coloring with Rickon and nearly flew into his arms.

“Is Dany still hurting?” She asked, concern in her eyes.

“Yes, I’m afraid so,” Jon said, “The babies will come soon though, there have been no problems, and everything is moving along just fine.”

Lyanna nodded.

“She wants to see you though before they come, would you like that?” Jon asked.

“Yes.”

After updating Ned and Cat, Jon walked hand in hand with Lyanna back to Dany’s room, when they entered, they found Dr. Luwin there chatting calmly with Dany.

“Everything alright?” Jon asked.

“Yes, just checking in, another one of my patients is almost ready to push, and so I just wanted to check in on Dany before I disappeared for a bit,” Dr. Luwin said, “I will be back around though,” Luwin smiled down at Lyanna, “And who do we have here?”

“Sorry, I was not sure if children were…” Jon started.

“Oh, I don’t mind, some people have their whole families in the room with them,” Dr. Luwin chuckled.

“This is our daughter Lyanna,” Jon introduced, and Luwin shook her hand.

“Are you the baby doctor?” Lyanna asked, curiously.

“Yes, baby and mother doctor,” Luwin responded.

“How long did that take to learn?” Lyanna questioned. Luwin chuckled.

“Lya, Dr. Luwin has other patients to see,” Jon said. She always seemed fascinated by the medical field, and Jon wondered if that was something she might consider when she grew up.

“It was nice to meet you, Lyanna,” with that said Luwin left, and Dany reached out for Lyanna to come to her. Lyanna started to go to her but when she did, Dany started having another contraction which stopped Lyanna in her tracks. Jon went to Dany’s side, with Lyanna nearly clinging to his leg.

He stroked Dany’s hair, “That’s it, love, breathe,” he crooned hoping it was soothing. When the contraction was over, Dany collapsed back on the pillows, looking exhausted. Lyanna put her little hand on Dany’s belly stroking it softly.

“Come here,” Dany reached for Lya and pulled her into a hug.

“Are you going to be alright, mom?”

Dany smiled, “Yes, sweetheart, it just takes hard work to get the babies out.”

Lyanna nodded, looking frightened, which Jon had not intended to happen by bringing her back here, and hoped they had not just scarred their child for life. He supposed this constant uncertainty was all a part of being a parent.

“Sansa is coming to get you and Rickon and spend the day with you,” Jon told her, trying to distract her attention.

“Do you want me to stay and help?” Lyanna asked. Jon smiled at her.

“You are going to go and have lots of fun with Sansa, and when you come back you are going to be a big sister,” Jon said.

“But…”

“Lya, its our job…”

“It’s your job to take care of me, not my job to take care of you,” Lyanna repeated the phrase that he and Dany had often had to repeat to her.

“I’ll be alright, Lya, and the babies will be so happy to meet you when you get here,” Dany said, softly. Lyanna nodded and gave Dany one last hug.

* * *

 

            About an hour after Lyanna left, Jon noticed a change in Dany, the contractions were getting stronger and closer together. The nurse informed him, that she was likely in transition phase. As the contractions got worse, Jon turned the lights low, and covered her with a heavy blanket, then took it off her when she got hot. After a while, Jon got on the bed with her as she clung to him, her face pressed against his chest. She moaned in pain and clutched his shoulder.

“It hurts,” Dany said softly.

“You are doing so good, love,” Jon stroked her hair, trying to recall everything they learned in birthing class, but feeling utterly helpless. The nurse came back, and Jon got out of the bed, so that the nurse could check all of Dany’s monitors. Jon was a little irritated by the constant interruption, but he understood their precaution, Dany was birthing twins naturally and that made them nervous. Dany’s next contraction seemed to hit suddenly, startling Jon when she nearly shrieked. He rushed back to her side, and tried to wrap his arms around her

“Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!” She growled and panted and shoved his hands away, “You did this to me!”

Jon reared back, unsure if that was an observation or an accusation. He saw the nurse hiding a grin, but she patted his shoulder as she started to leave the room.

“You are getting closer, I’m going to go ahead and call Doctor Luwin over.”

When the nurse left, he turned back to Dany to find her crying. Cautiously, he went to her side, and was glad to find her receptive to his touch again.

“They’re never going to come,” She wailed.

“Yes, they are, love,” Jon stroked her back, hating seeing her in so much pain. It made him feel helpless, “The nurse said you are moving along just fine.”

“I can’t do it anymore,” Dany buried her face against his neck.

“Yes, you can, you are already doing it, and you are strong,” Jon crooned, cradling her against him, and trying not to flinch as she dug her fingers into his shoulders when another contraction hit her. She released a long, loud pitiful wail.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Jon held her tighter, feeling lost, and unsure. He was not even certain that he was doing her any good, but he held her anyway, trying to soothe and comfort as best he could. When she released her tight grip on him, he started to straighten, but she still clung to him.

“No, no, don’t leave me!”

“I’m not leaving you, I’m right here,” Jon assured and stroked some of her sweaty hair out of her face. Another contraction rolled over her surprisingly quickly.

“I need to push!” She suddenly shrieked. Jon frantically hit the call button to the nurse, even as Dany clung to his neck, and panted in his ear.

            Jon was relieved to see both Dr. Luwin and the nurse appear.

“She says she needs to push!” Jon was beside himself, with Dany still moaning against his neck. Her hand had somehow found its way into his hair, and when another contraction gripped her, he tried not to whimper himself as the hand in his hair fisted and pulled. The next few minutes were a flurry of activity as the doctor and the nurses, hurriedly got the room prepped and pediatricians called.

“I need to push!” She shrieked again, and Dr. Luwin stood up from between her legs where he had been checking her progress and put a soothing hand on her knee.

“It’s alright, Dany, you can go ahead and give a little push,” He coached and counted with her.

“You are doing so good, love,” Jon whispered, cradling her in his arms. With each contraction and push, Jon tried to recall their birthing classes, and tried to help Dany remember.

“I love you,” He whispered and kissed her hair, though he could tell she was not paying any attention to him. Dany kept an iron grip on his arm, not letting him move, and so he helped her as best as he could from the awkward half sitting, half standing position they had been in before she had started to push. When she seemed to be tiring, he cradled the back of her head, and helped her tuck her chin to her chest. Between pushes, she resumed her position of clinging to him, which surprised him. Dany had never been particularly clingy, but right now that seemed to be all she wanted, and so he held her against him, until it was time to push again.

“Alright, Dany, I need you to stop pushing for just a moment,” Dr. Luwin calmly instructed, “Baby’s head is getting close.”

Dany whimpered, and grasped at Jon again, as she panted, and tried to do as instructed. All Jon could do was hold her, feeling utterly helpless.

“Alright,” Dr. Luwin was unbelievably calm, “Give another good push and the head will be out.”

Jon helped Dany bear down.

“Oooooh, gods, it’s burning!” She cried, as the head was crowning.

“That’s normal,” Dr. Luwin eased her through the contraction, “You can scream if you need too, do what feels natural.” Luwin was so patient.

Jon held her, feeling tears sting his own eyes. Through his mind, floated the image of all the tearful nights of holding her when they had struggled to get pregnant before her accident, and then of her lying on that gurney in the emergency room after her accident and his sleepless nights after when he had lain awake on that wretched pullout bed worrying over her. He remembered her crying herself to sleep that first night home.

“You can do it, Daenerys,” He whispered in her ear, “You are so strong.” Jon thought of the day he met her, he had watched her play with little Rickon, and smile at Sansa, and light up every room she walked into. He remembered the fight over Daario they had on the porch swing at the Starks. _Gods, she was stubborn sometimes._

With another desperate push from Dany, Jon watched in awe as his son emerged into the world and was immediately laid on Dany’s chest. Dany was crying and cradling the infant close. Stroked back some of her sweaty hair.

“Hello, hello,” Dany sobbed, kissing the top of the baby’s head and holding him close. Jon felt his threatened tears spill over.

“Baby two is eager to be out here with brother,” Dr. Luwin said, seeming surprised at the second baby’s rapid descent. Dany moaned, and Luwin tried to calm her, “It’s alright, Dany, it’s almost over, take a deep breathe...”

The nurses whisked away Robby to clean him up, as Jon went back to helping Dany. In his mind, Jon saw the way her eyes sparkled when she had told him that she loved him again for the first time, and their tumble in the snow. Then the boat… he somehow knew that that was where these two miracle babies were conceived. Jon felt more tears fill his ears, as he saw the second baby start to emerge. It had been messy… and painful… but all Jon could think, as his brand new daughter was laid against his wife’s chest, was… that was life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: The End, Epilogue, Dany POV


	83. Epilogue (Dany)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm really nervous how this chapter turned out, but I hope everyone enjoys it. Endings are hard to write, and I'm not really sure I did it justice, but at the end of the day its just a little fan fiction, and if I've done nothing more than give you a smile, then I consider it successful. 
> 
> For those of you who have not already read and who expressed interest, I am writing two other jonerys modern aus, both of which have a few chapters up already. I have been having a bit of creative dry spell recently, which is why it took me so long to get this posted and I have not posted on any of my other stories, but I will get back to them eventually.

Daenerys’ eyes fluttered open, and she started to sit up. A gentle hand was placed on her shoulder urging her to lie back down.

“Easy, love,” came a thick, northern and familiar voice. She glanced over to see the dark, curls, and the serious, grey eyes of her husband, he was studying her face, concern furrowing his brow. Everything hurt.

“Jon,” She reached out and stroked his cheek, and he leaned into her hand, “I feel terrible.”

Jon chuckled and took her hand, “I’d feel worse than terrible if I went through what you went through.”

Dany’s eyes darted to the little pink bundle in Jon’s arms, and the little blue bundle in the bassinette beside her hospital bed and smiled softly.

“How long was I asleep?” Dany asked, as she reached for her baby. Jon placed Rhaella in her arms, before carefully picking up Robby and placing him on her other side.

“Quite a while, I think these little ones are probably getting hungry again,” Jon pushed some hair out of her face as both her hands were occupied. Dany remembered now… she had fallen asleep after feeding them the first time.

“Where’s Lyanna?” Dany asked, as she started to adjust the babies’ positions so she could feed them. Jon started to help her, while tipping his head toward the window seat of the hospital room. Dany looked and saw Lyanna sound asleep.

“Poor baby, she needs to go home and sleep,” Dany said, and Jon laughed.

“She’s fine,” Jon assured her, “Arya brought her up about an hour ago, they apparently played hard today, Aunt Cat is coming to pick her up.”

Dany nodded, and winced as she and Jon got the babies latched. Jon pulled her favorite blanket up around all three of them to keep them warm, and to partially cover Dany so that Lyanna did not get an eyeful, if she happened to wake up. As the two babies fed, Jon studied her, and Dany smiled at him.

“What?” She grinned.

“In a little over a month, it will have been a year since…” Jon stated. _Since her accident…_

“I forget about it sometimes,” Dany giggled.

“That isn’t funny,” Jon scolded teasingly. Her giggles subsided and growing serious once again Dany looked down at the two suckling babies at her breasts.

“Life is strange,” Dany commented, almost to herself. Jon smiled at her.

“Aye.”

Dany looked up at him, and still sometimes could not really believe he was hers.

“I know I’ve told you this before,” Dany smiled, “But when I woke up after my accident and everything was so… blank… and you were there…” Dany chuckled, as she studied his disheveled hair and sleepy eyes, “… looking not unlike how you look right now…”

Jon’s mouth twitched in a smile.

“I wanted Missy to take me home with her.”

Jon nodded, understandingly. She had told him all this before, but she was going to tell him again because she never wanted him to forget it especially now as they moved forward with their lives.

“I’m glad she didn’t,” Dany assured him, “I thought about running back to the familiarity of King’s Landing, and Viserys… but that first week with you changed my mind… taught me that love did not have to be a power struggle, or a war like I had grown up believing it to be… you showed me that it was patience, and kindness, and mercy… even when I perhaps did not deserve it…”

He chuckled at that.

“Thank you for not giving up on me,” Dany swallowed hard and whispered, “That first week means everything to me.”

Jon leaned forward then and kissed her.

“Oy,” Robb’s voice surprised them both out of their kiss. Obviously startled, Jon glared at his cousin who was standing at the door.

“You really do have the worst timing, Stark.”

“Are the two of you up for a couple of visitors?” Margaery asked, much more diplomatically then her husband.

“Yes, you can come in,” Dany grinned, as Jon helped her adjust her blanket over her, to keep her covered while the babies still fed.

“Oh, gods, sorry,” Marge exclaimed, “We can come back when you are finished feeding them.”

“No, its alright,” Dany chuckled, “Jon’s got me so covered up... you’d think winter was coming.” Dany tried to hide a laugh at how embarrassed Robb now looked. _Serves him right_ , she grinned. Margaery quietly sat down on the window seat with the still sleeping Lyanna, while Robb stood, beside her. They were all quiet for a few moments, and Dany felt suddenly self-conscious realizing that she was sitting there nursing two babies under a blanket, while three pairs of eyes waited.

“We are not announcing it for a few more weeks yet, but…” Marge finally broke the silence.

“We wanted the two of you to be the first know,” Robb explained. His face was soft and kind and for the first time, Dany saw his resemblance to Ned.

“We’re pregnant!”

Dany beamed at her friend.

“The two of you certainly did not waste any time,” Jon chuckled as he stood and hugged Robb.

“Maybe you’ll have twins too,” Dany could not help but tease, and laughed when she saw Marge’s face drain of color. Marge came over beside Dany and peeked down at the babies.

“Twins are all on you,” Marge smiled softly, looking as motherly as Dany had ever seen her, “I am happy that our babies will be so close in age.”

Robby seemed to have gotten his fill and so Jon took him from Dany and carefully handed him to Marge, who took him to his namesake. Robb insisted on sitting down before allowing Marge to place the tiny infant in his arms.

“You have to pat his back gently so that he burps,” Marge instructed.

“I do know how to hold a baby, Marge, I was nineteen years old when Rickon was born,” Robb said, but still moved so carefully and slowly that Dany had to smile. Jon took Rhaella when Dany offered her to him, expecting him to give the baby to Marge, but instead he cradled his new daughter in his arms and did not seem in a hurry to give her up to anyone. Dany thought her heart might break from his sweetness.

“Hello,” came Aunt Cat’s voice from the doorway, and Dany looked up to see Aunt Cat, Uncle Ned, and Sansa.

“We’re not the only visitors, I see,” Ned said calmly. Dany saw Lyanna start to stir, and wake.

“Lya, come sit with me, so that Ned and Cat can sit,” Dany held her arms out for her oldest, wanting to make sure she knew that she was still loved and wanted even in the excitement of having new babies in the family. Still looking sleepy, Lyanna came over to the hospital bed. She looked hesitant.

“Come on,” Dany patted the spot next to her, and Lyanna very gently sat down beside her, and allowed Dany to wrap her arms around her.

“Where’s Rickon?” Lya asked.

“He’s at home with Arya and Gendry waiting for Bran and Uncle Benjen to arrive,” Cat said, as she managed to convince Jon to relinquish Rhaella for a moment. Dany watched as Jon fretted over the two babies, and everyone fawned over them. Dany kissed the top of Lyanna’s head and was struck with an overwhelming sense of contentment at the realization that this was her family. They had seen her through so much in the last year that Dany could not imagine her life without them, and it startled her to think how close she had been to giving it all up a year ago when it seemed she had lost so much after her accident. Jon looked up at her then, their eyes met, and he smiled… the type of smile that made his eyes light up and the corners of his eyes wrinkle. Dany could only blush like a love struck fool… and knew that everyday for the rest of her life she would wake up and fall in love with him all over again.

* * *

  **Seven Years Later**

“That’s a terrible ending!” Robby complained loudly from the living room, startling Dany from a client’s paperwork in her office.

“I did not make it up, Mom did,” came Lyanna’s response. Dany stifled a laugh, as she inclined her ear to listen to whatever it was her children were discussing.

“I wanted them to be in love forever,” came the soft, sweet voice of Rhaella.

“Well, if you want a better ending you will have to take it up with, Mom, I have to finish packing,” Lyanna laughed. Before Dany could pretend she was not listening, two little bodies came barreling into the office.

“Mom, I want an explanation!” Robby came to her desk and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Of what, my dear?”

“How could the dragon princess be so mean to her prince?” Rhaella asked, ever the romantic.

“What do you mean?” Dany chuckled, “The prince was not very nice himself in the end… he killed her.”

“She was going to kill his sisters!” Robby, ever protective of his two sisters, stomped his little foot, “And the whole known world!”

Dany bit back another laugh, “The whole known world?”

“Yes.”

“Well, how would you have it end?” Dany asked her son.

Robby shook his shaggy blonde curls, his grey eyes sparking, “Anyway but that way.”

Rhaella quietly sidled up to Dany and crawled into her lap. Rhaella’s bright violet eyes were big and luminous, as she looked directly into Dany’s eyes, “I want them to be in love forever, like you and Daddy.”

Dany thought her heart might melt, as she smoothed back some of Rhaella’s black curls, so like Jon’s, “Well, how about you and Robby go and collaborate on a new ending, and next time you can tell it differently?”

“What’s collaborate?” Robby wrinkled his nose.

“Work together,” Dany clarified.

“Come on then Rhae, lets collaborate,” Robby took Rhaella’s hand, and tried to pull her away from their mother. Dany could only smile. Robby was so full of fire and passion, and so much like her, and Rhaella was all quiet strength and mercy, just like Jon. She had never seen two children reflect their parents so well.

“Mom,” Lyanna, eighteen and bright eyed, appeared in the doorway of the office, “Where’s Dad?”

Dany caught Lyanna’s eye and tried not to cry, “He’s outside checking your car tires, and any thing else he can think of.”

“No, I’m right here,” said Jon, as he came up behind Lyanna, with a sad but sweet smile on his face. Rhaella and Robby both ran to their father, and he threw one twin over each shoulder, and they squealed with laughter.

“I’ve got everything packed and ready to go,” Lyanna said, confidently, “Shireen and Rickon should be here any minute.”

Dany came and wrapped her arms around Lyanna and held her close.

“I can’t believe you are already going away to college.”

“I’m not leaving just yet,” Lyanna grumbled, with a smile, “Don’t go turning sentimental on me now, Mom… that’s his job,” Lyanna inclined her head toward Jon, who laughed. Jon put the twins down and put an arm around Lyanna’s shoulder.

“You know you like it when we get sentimental,” Jon chuckled, and kissed her forehead. Lyanna playfully rolled her eyes.

“Why do you have to go so far away, Lya?” Robby demanded to know, his arms across his chest once again.

“I’m going to college, Robbs,” Lyanna explained, crouching down to his eye level, just as Jon used to do to her when she was little. Dany grinned at the sight.

“But why can’t you go to college here?” Robby asked, “Why do you have to go to Bear Island?”

Lyanna mussed Robby’s hair and stood up.

“You’ve got everything you need?” Jon asked her. Dany slipped an arm through his and looked at their oldest.

“Yes, Dad, you worry to much,” Lyanna, in one of her rare displays of affection, kissed his cheek, “Just waiting on two very late roommates.”

            They spent the rest of the afternoon helping Lyanna pack her car, and then once Rickon and Shireen arrived, Dany watched as Jon fretted over them wearing seatbelts and making sure to keep each other awake driving and reminding them to call home every once in a while. Then suddenly they were gone. Dany and Jon stood there watching the car disappear over the horizon, their two rambunctious twins already darting back inside their house with the red door. Jon took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

“She’ll be alright,” He said, even though his voice sounded choked up.

“Mama, Daddy!” Robby called from the porch, “Come on! We need to collaborate a new ending for Mama’s dragon story!”

“Don’t forget, Robby,” Rhaella said firmly, “The dragon princess and the promised prince have to live happily ever after.”

Jon looked at Dany, smiled and said, "Don't forget."

Dany smiled back at him, "Never."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed my first "little" foray into writing fan fiction. Thank you so much everyone for sticking with me all the way to the end! Everyone's enthusiasm made this story a lot of fun too write, and I appreciate you seeing it through to the end! 
> 
> I do have two stories I am currently working on, but if you enjoyed my writing and would like to see me try my hand at other story ideas, I make no promises, but I would love to hear them.


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